JustPearlyThings - July 04, 2023


The West THINKS This About PARENT-HOOD


Episode Stats


Length

11 minutes

Words per minute

219.20462

Word count

2,451

Sentence count

3

Harmful content

Misogyny

19

sentences flagged

Hate speech

15

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, I talk about the decline in population fertility around the world and how we can fix it. I also talk about why divorce is bad for women and why we should ban birth control in the modern world.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 you can't really force things to go backwards otherwise you end up in a sort of authoritarian
00:00:05.440 state right you're like you have to get married you have to do this you have to have kids there
00:00:09.520 is no other option you can you can you certainly can i'm not saying they will i'm not saying i'm
00:00:14.320 not saying they will i don't think that's a fair comparison no fault divorce was legal like 50
00:00:20.960 years ago it wasn't that long ago it's not even i think it was the 90s so that's like what 30 years
00:00:25.680 ago it wasn't even that long ago she's absolutely right you can't force um things on human beings
00:00:32.800 what would happen is we would eventually kill ourselves off that's what is going to happen so
00:00:37.280 you can't force us to go back to the way things were what will happen is naturally we will take
00:00:41.520 ourselves back to the bottom and reset i think the problem is when you look at the policies whether
00:00:46.400 they're like negative policies or positive incentives none of them have worked like when
00:00:51.360 you look at all of east asia all of eastern europe now western europe not a single country
00:00:55.520 has managed to get back to replacement level population fertility not a single country all
00:01:00.720 of them have gone below every single country in europe is not having enough babies to sustain the
00:01:04.960 population but that doesn't mean it won't stabilize at some point is it that way in africa too because
00:01:09.680 i thought i thought the average number of kids in nigeria was like five it's still pretty high in most
00:01:14.000 of sub-saharan africa but it's going down everywhere even iran even india is like almost below replacement
00:01:20.320 um and the thing is i think it's because no you know hungary pays you goodness knows how much to
00:01:26.160 have kids like you have three kids you get a free people carrier stuff like that you get you know if
00:01:30.720 you have enough kids in hungary i think it's three or four you pay no income tax for the rest of your
00:01:34.320 life they have huge incentives man this is crazy but they're not really getting the birth rate back
00:01:40.560 up and the problem is not so much about economic incentives it's fundamentally what people think
00:01:45.600 of being a parent people in the modern world especially in the west just don't think being
00:01:49.920 a parent is that valuable or fulfilling and i think the key issue is that we need to reframe
00:01:55.200 parenthood and re you know show that it's not just a burden it's not just our kid who's going to ruin
00:01:59.680 your life and stop you doing things kids are valuable they're great we're looking forward to having
00:02:04.400 them like i think that's the key issue is we have to stop saying you know being a mother is going to ruin
00:02:10.080 your life we have to say being a mother is an incredible thing that you should be hugely proud
00:02:14.080 of and that you should be able to do alongside everything else in your career in your family
00:02:19.520 and so on i think that's the key i think that starts with being less critical of single women
00:02:24.080 then because it's better that they're having kids at all right no actually women respond really well to 1.00
00:02:30.000 social pressure so i actually think shame is a great thing i actually think we should bring it back i
00:02:35.520 i think we can have a sort of halfway house and propaganda so i think we should we should
00:02:40.160 propagandize women and take away most of the reproductive rights i think we should birth control 0.99
00:02:48.160 get rid of divorce get rid of we can't even have birth control no i would ban that too i know the
00:02:54.080 men are like i can't get behind you on that one korea over here i don't think north korea is a fair
00:02:59.840 comparison it would be much better i don't think i don't think north korea is fair i don't think look
00:03:06.080 at i think birth control is bad for women these women go on birth control for 10 years it makes us 1.00
00:03:11.760 absolutely nuts then we get off of birth control and we have fertility and hormone issues actually 0.96
00:03:17.520 it can be bad it's like is this really a good outcome for us you know we can't have the kids and
00:03:25.680 then we get on the antidepressants it's just like a whole circle of misery it is birth control has
00:03:31.360 been proven to be terrible for us i had a girl that was infertile on my show from too many plan b's 1.00
00:03:37.840 yeah she literally could not have children from plan b right and this is kind of pretty common as well
00:03:41.920 and calen said that people don't want to be parents and i think that's true of young people but women 0.99
00:03:46.480 generally want to have kids in their life but they're now just leaving it until they're in their 40s and we
00:03:51.120 all know that that has issues um so encouraging women to have making it like absolutely fine showing
00:03:56.800 influencers showing like you know celebrities that are able to maintain a career and also um maintain
00:04:02.800 motherhood at home and maintain sex successful motherhood um see i just don't think it's possible
00:04:08.240 i think there's always going to be something you have to give because if you're working who's watching
00:04:11.680 the kids that's someone else but i think part of that is because we need to do it together male and
00:04:15.360 female right we've lost the parenthood well we've lost that expectation of the fact that we will 0.72
00:04:20.000 find someone get married have babies together we'll support each other like i don't know like
00:04:24.640 when you're girls when you're looking when you're young and you're looking for someone to be with
00:04:27.920 find a guy who's going to support yourself as you know flourishing in your career and flourishing as
00:04:31.680 a mother and that's going to be a partnership for you both yeah i i just think that's not realistic
00:04:35.760 i think that's what feminism tries to teach us that you can have everything and i don't think you can 1.00
00:04:40.240 and i i also think there's a whole group of women that have had nannies and like daycare raise their
00:04:45.360 children and i think there's a lot of negative effects from that um i i think the the message
00:04:50.800 that i personally would say i just disagree with you slightly but i i would i would say you you have
00:04:55.760 to make your choice and you can't have everything i think you can have more than people often think
00:05:01.200 yeah yeah a lot more than people often think and i think of course we have to be honest
00:05:05.360 parenthood both motherhood and fatherhood involve sacrifice i plan on sacrificing a lot when i have kids
00:05:10.960 i'm not going to be able to do all the things i want to do but the point we have to make is that
00:05:14.000 yes it involves sacrifice for both but it's so worth it it's more than worth it because these
00:05:18.320 are kids they're going to be way more meaningful than anything i just want to oh sorry i just want
00:05:22.880 to add a certain point on the fertility statistics because often it gets focused on all the women
00:05:27.120 are getting too too old but it's a 50 50 perfect split split split a perfect split of fertility issues men
00:05:36.000 50 50 women 50 when it comes to getting pregnant it's a perfect split but it's true nonetheless that 1.00
00:05:44.160 50 of women now are reaching the age of 30 without having children which is very different to the
00:05:48.880 and if you see the chart fertility fertility drops way more for women than it does for men at older age
00:05:55.280 like that's not even disputable yeah besides if women have all the power then why is it 50 50 1.00
00:06:00.400 because women have the power in reproduction if women choose to have kids later then men can only 1.00
00:06:05.840 have kids later yeah so like this is usually not as good but there is there are stats to show that
00:06:13.680 older women who have younger partners tend to get pregnant easier my mom was one of those which is 1.00
00:06:18.240 why she could always get pregnant i guess younger sperm is beneficial well i mean yeah but i was just
00:06:23.360 looking at the chart of this today it's not the same it drops i mean men do have fertility issues too but
00:06:28.560 it drops off way more for women with age this isn't even like arguable is that then because 0.96
00:06:33.760 women are always picking older partners i don't know why that is i just know based on biology that 1.00
00:06:38.880 women are less fertile the older they get at a at a much more rapid rate than men well by how rapid do 0.97
00:06:46.000 you mean i could i can actually i think men can still i think men can still are men still sperm in
00:06:50.480 like their 70s or is it 70s not all men in their 70s the first time i can no but i think some of them
00:06:56.320 i'm gonna send it i'm gonna send it to ken i just i just tweeted this today that's why that's why i'm
00:07:01.520 positive of this besides if women start getting younger partners who's gonna raise the kids 0.99
00:07:07.360 because are you gonna is she gonna trap the younger guy into becoming responsible it depends when you're
00:07:11.920 saying younger it could just be a 31 or two year old with a 40 year old woman yeah but we all know
00:07:17.440 that men reach their financial strife from 35 upwards i'm just very curious about something so they
00:07:23.040 definitely shouldn't be having children before that point then 100 because it goes back to the
00:07:29.840 same thing of women wanting everything so they want to have the young guy but they also want him to be 0.99
00:07:34.000 able to be responsible enough to take care of the kid or they want to have the old guy and they want him
00:07:38.800 to be or they want to have the richest man and they want him to be faithful to them like you just want
00:07:42.960 everything i'm just making a comment on genetics do you know any 82 year old women that have had kids 0.98
00:07:49.360 i don't know what the oldest is is it someone in her 70s i don't know no no there's al pacino just
00:07:55.280 fathered a child at 82. yeah you know damn well no women are doing that i well i don't know what the
00:08:00.560 oldest woman is i'm pretty sure i don't even know what you're arguing like you know that men do not you
00:08:05.600 know that women drop off on fertility issues not all men are fertile at i didn't i didn't say all
00:08:10.640 men but i said women have it worse the older they get is that i mean we have a doctor here am i am i 0.90
00:08:14.960 wrong my only comment was it's a 50 when people are dealing with you know like infertility they're
00:08:21.120 having to seek options where where where from because you've got to bear in mind asking how many how
00:08:25.680 many people were in that study it was a pretty big study that i i like i read i mean you could probably
00:08:30.400 google it for fertility issues i don't have the website to mine i have some of them written down but not all of
00:08:35.440 them usually government websites that are holding these statistics so fertility issues you've got
00:08:40.800 to bear in mind some men and some women just were never fertile in the first place right we're all
00:08:45.120 assuming that everyone's fertile all of the time it's not the case some people are fertile longer
00:08:49.040 right some people i'm saying no but i just i'm saying that it's not the same for men and for women
00:08:54.320 it's not the same at 35 a man can have a kid pretty easily women it's geriatric pregnancy my mom this is 0.87
00:09:02.000 this is okay i'm not talking about you i'm talking about your mom i'm saying 35 is if you're able to
00:09:07.680 get pregnant no no no no no but i'm saying it's still geriatric pregnancy if you hit 30 the numbers
00:09:12.560 say if you're single by 30 you're more likely to not have a child than to have one as a woman
00:09:16.640 but we're already talking about i'm saying that it is not the same for men and for women i don't know
00:09:24.560 what you're arguing i never said it was the same i'm saying that okay okay okay so no i'm saying
00:09:31.600 that you know that the older we get we have more fertility issues and so do men no i said it i said
00:09:37.040 we have more than men the older we get yeah that i agree with you yeah that's because you're brainwashed
00:09:43.440 a doctor at a young age men are going to have more issues and but then at that changes over time so
00:09:53.840 men's fertility is probably lower to begin with but it drops off more gradually whereas women you know 0.99
00:09:59.920 if you're right about this 50 50 split would have more fertility at a younger age but then it drops
00:10:05.040 very rapidly after age 35 if you put it on the screen i can i just was looking at this today
00:10:10.080 it drops after 35. i'm just gonna show it to you because i've heard so many bad stories about
00:10:20.560 people that have been pregnant after like four women but i don't know i'm not seeing no stories
00:10:26.560 on guys i've not seen any stories about bad things happening with guys can you show the screen king
00:10:34.160 i'm gonna show you this and i just want you to accept it that's it
00:10:36.960 that's it i just want you i just i just ah nothing nothing i just want you to look at the chart
00:10:44.320 of course women are having kids that late okay i just want you i just want you to look at the chart i 0.66
00:10:49.280 just want all right so this is this has nothing to do with what i was saying wait wait wait i just
00:10:54.800 want you to say okay that's it that's it so this is the this is the fertility chart and this is different
00:11:01.280 statistics than what i was talking about so okay can we just this is what i was talking about so
00:11:06.560 you do you understand this yeah i was never debating it in the first place okay thank you