JustPearlyThings - July 04, 2023


The West THINKS This About PARENT-HOOD


Episode Stats

Length

11 minutes

Words per Minute

219.20462

Word Count

2,451

Sentence Count

3

Misogynist Sentences

19

Hate Speech Sentences

15


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 you can't really force things to go backwards otherwise you end up in a sort of authoritarian
00:00:05.440 state right you're like you have to get married you have to do this you have to have kids there
00:00:09.520 is no other option you can you can you certainly can i'm not saying they will i'm not saying i'm
00:00:14.320 not saying they will i don't think that's a fair comparison no fault divorce was legal like 50
00:00:20.960 years ago it wasn't that long ago it's not even i think it was the 90s so that's like what 30 years
00:00:25.680 ago it wasn't even that long ago she's absolutely right you can't force um things on human beings
00:00:32.800 what would happen is we would eventually kill ourselves off that's what is going to happen so
00:00:37.280 you can't force us to go back to the way things were what will happen is naturally we will take
00:00:41.520 ourselves back to the bottom and reset i think the problem is when you look at the policies whether
00:00:46.400 they're like negative policies or positive incentives none of them have worked like when
00:00:51.360 you look at all of east asia all of eastern europe now western europe not a single country
00:00:55.520 has managed to get back to replacement level population fertility not a single country all
00:01:00.720 of them have gone below every single country in europe is not having enough babies to sustain the
00:01:04.960 population but that doesn't mean it won't stabilize at some point is it that way in africa too because
00:01:09.680 i thought i thought the average number of kids in nigeria was like five it's still pretty high in most
00:01:14.000 of sub-saharan africa but it's going down everywhere even iran even india is like almost below replacement
00:01:20.320 um and the thing is i think it's because no you know hungary pays you goodness knows how much to
00:01:26.160 have kids like you have three kids you get a free people carrier stuff like that you get you know if
00:01:30.720 you have enough kids in hungary i think it's three or four you pay no income tax for the rest of your
00:01:34.320 life they have huge incentives man this is crazy but they're not really getting the birth rate back
00:01:40.560 up and the problem is not so much about economic incentives it's fundamentally what people think
00:01:45.600 of being a parent people in the modern world especially in the west just don't think being
00:01:49.920 a parent is that valuable or fulfilling and i think the key issue is that we need to reframe
00:01:55.200 parenthood and re you know show that it's not just a burden it's not just our kid who's going to ruin
00:01:59.680 your life and stop you doing things kids are valuable they're great we're looking forward to having
00:02:04.400 them like i think that's the key issue is we have to stop saying you know being a mother is going to ruin
00:02:10.080 your life we have to say being a mother is an incredible thing that you should be hugely proud
00:02:14.080 of and that you should be able to do alongside everything else in your career in your family
00:02:19.520 and so on i think that's the key i think that starts with being less critical of single women
00:02:24.080 then because it's better that they're having kids at all right no actually women respond really well to
00:02:30.000 social pressure so i actually think shame is a great thing i actually think we should bring it back i
00:02:35.520 i think we can have a sort of halfway house and propaganda so i think we should we should
00:02:40.160 propagandize women and take away most of the reproductive rights i think we should birth control
00:02:48.160 get rid of divorce get rid of we can't even have birth control no i would ban that too i know the
00:02:54.080 men are like i can't get behind you on that one korea over here i don't think north korea is a fair
00:02:59.840 comparison it would be much better i don't think i don't think north korea is fair i don't think look
00:03:06.080 at i think birth control is bad for women these women go on birth control for 10 years it makes us
00:03:11.760 absolutely nuts then we get off of birth control and we have fertility and hormone issues actually
00:03:17.520 it can be bad it's like is this really a good outcome for us you know we can't have the kids and
00:03:25.680 then we get on the antidepressants it's just like a whole circle of misery it is birth control has
00:03:31.360 been proven to be terrible for us i had a girl that was infertile on my show from too many plan b's
00:03:37.840 yeah she literally could not have children from plan b right and this is kind of pretty common as well
00:03:41.920 and calen said that people don't want to be parents and i think that's true of young people but women
00:03:46.480 generally want to have kids in their life but they're now just leaving it until they're in their 40s and we
00:03:51.120 all know that that has issues um so encouraging women to have making it like absolutely fine showing
00:03:56.800 influencers showing like you know celebrities that are able to maintain a career and also um maintain
00:04:02.800 motherhood at home and maintain sex successful motherhood um see i just don't think it's possible
00:04:08.240 i think there's always going to be something you have to give because if you're working who's watching
00:04:11.680 the kids that's someone else but i think part of that is because we need to do it together male and
00:04:15.360 female right we've lost the parenthood well we've lost that expectation of the fact that we will
00:04:20.000 find someone get married have babies together we'll support each other like i don't know like
00:04:24.640 when you're girls when you're looking when you're young and you're looking for someone to be with
00:04:27.920 find a guy who's going to support yourself as you know flourishing in your career and flourishing as
00:04:31.680 a mother and that's going to be a partnership for you both yeah i i just think that's not realistic
00:04:35.760 i think that's what feminism tries to teach us that you can have everything and i don't think you can
00:04:40.240 and i i also think there's a whole group of women that have had nannies and like daycare raise their
00:04:45.360 children and i think there's a lot of negative effects from that um i i think the the message
00:04:50.800 that i personally would say i just disagree with you slightly but i i would i would say you you have
00:04:55.760 to make your choice and you can't have everything i think you can have more than people often think
00:05:01.200 yeah yeah a lot more than people often think and i think of course we have to be honest
00:05:05.360 parenthood both motherhood and fatherhood involve sacrifice i plan on sacrificing a lot when i have kids
00:05:10.960 i'm not going to be able to do all the things i want to do but the point we have to make is that
00:05:14.000 yes it involves sacrifice for both but it's so worth it it's more than worth it because these
00:05:18.320 are kids they're going to be way more meaningful than anything i just want to oh sorry i just want
00:05:22.880 to add a certain point on the fertility statistics because often it gets focused on all the women
00:05:27.120 are getting too too old but it's a 50 50 perfect split split split a perfect split of fertility issues men
00:05:36.000 50 50 women 50 when it comes to getting pregnant it's a perfect split but it's true nonetheless that
00:05:44.160 50 of women now are reaching the age of 30 without having children which is very different to the
00:05:48.880 and if you see the chart fertility fertility drops way more for women than it does for men at older age
00:05:55.280 like that's not even disputable yeah besides if women have all the power then why is it 50 50
00:06:00.400 because women have the power in reproduction if women choose to have kids later then men can only
00:06:05.840 have kids later yeah so like this is usually not as good but there is there are stats to show that
00:06:13.680 older women who have younger partners tend to get pregnant easier my mom was one of those which is
00:06:18.240 why she could always get pregnant i guess younger sperm is beneficial well i mean yeah but i was just
00:06:23.360 looking at the chart of this today it's not the same it drops i mean men do have fertility issues too but
00:06:28.560 it drops off way more for women with age this isn't even like arguable is that then because
00:06:33.760 women are always picking older partners i don't know why that is i just know based on biology that
00:06:38.880 women are less fertile the older they get at a at a much more rapid rate than men well by how rapid do
00:06:46.000 you mean i could i can actually i think men can still i think men can still are men still sperm in
00:06:50.480 like their 70s or is it 70s not all men in their 70s the first time i can no but i think some of them
00:06:56.320 i'm gonna send it i'm gonna send it to ken i just i just tweeted this today that's why that's why i'm
00:07:01.520 positive of this besides if women start getting younger partners who's gonna raise the kids
00:07:07.360 because are you gonna is she gonna trap the younger guy into becoming responsible it depends when you're
00:07:11.920 saying younger it could just be a 31 or two year old with a 40 year old woman yeah but we all know
00:07:17.440 that men reach their financial strife from 35 upwards i'm just very curious about something so they
00:07:23.040 definitely shouldn't be having children before that point then 100 because it goes back to the
00:07:29.840 same thing of women wanting everything so they want to have the young guy but they also want him to be
00:07:34.000 able to be responsible enough to take care of the kid or they want to have the old guy and they want him
00:07:38.800 to be or they want to have the richest man and they want him to be faithful to them like you just want
00:07:42.960 everything i'm just making a comment on genetics do you know any 82 year old women that have had kids
00:07:49.360 i don't know what the oldest is is it someone in her 70s i don't know no no there's al pacino just
00:07:55.280 fathered a child at 82. yeah you know damn well no women are doing that i well i don't know what the
00:08:00.560 oldest woman is i'm pretty sure i don't even know what you're arguing like you know that men do not you
00:08:05.600 know that women drop off on fertility issues not all men are fertile at i didn't i didn't say all
00:08:10.640 men but i said women have it worse the older they get is that i mean we have a doctor here am i am i
00:08:14.960 wrong my only comment was it's a 50 when people are dealing with you know like infertility they're
00:08:21.120 having to seek options where where where from because you've got to bear in mind asking how many how
00:08:25.680 many people were in that study it was a pretty big study that i i like i read i mean you could probably
00:08:30.400 google it for fertility issues i don't have the website to mine i have some of them written down but not all of
00:08:35.440 them usually government websites that are holding these statistics so fertility issues you've got
00:08:40.800 to bear in mind some men and some women just were never fertile in the first place right we're all
00:08:45.120 assuming that everyone's fertile all of the time it's not the case some people are fertile longer
00:08:49.040 right some people i'm saying no but i just i'm saying that it's not the same for men and for women
00:08:54.320 it's not the same at 35 a man can have a kid pretty easily women it's geriatric pregnancy my mom this is
00:09:02.000 this is okay i'm not talking about you i'm talking about your mom i'm saying 35 is if you're able to
00:09:07.680 get pregnant no no no no no but i'm saying it's still geriatric pregnancy if you hit 30 the numbers
00:09:12.560 say if you're single by 30 you're more likely to not have a child than to have one as a woman
00:09:16.640 but we're already talking about i'm saying that it is not the same for men and for women i don't know
00:09:24.560 what you're arguing i never said it was the same i'm saying that okay okay okay so no i'm saying
00:09:31.600 that you know that the older we get we have more fertility issues and so do men no i said it i said
00:09:37.040 we have more than men the older we get yeah that i agree with you yeah that's because you're brainwashed
00:09:43.440 a doctor at a young age men are going to have more issues and but then at that changes over time so
00:09:53.840 men's fertility is probably lower to begin with but it drops off more gradually whereas women you know
00:09:59.920 if you're right about this 50 50 split would have more fertility at a younger age but then it drops
00:10:05.040 very rapidly after age 35 if you put it on the screen i can i just was looking at this today
00:10:10.080 it drops after 35. i'm just gonna show it to you because i've heard so many bad stories about
00:10:20.560 people that have been pregnant after like four women but i don't know i'm not seeing no stories
00:10:26.560 on guys i've not seen any stories about bad things happening with guys can you show the screen king
00:10:34.160 i'm gonna show you this and i just want you to accept it that's it
00:10:36.960 that's it i just want you i just i just ah nothing nothing i just want you to look at the chart
00:10:44.320 of course women are having kids that late okay i just want you i just want you to look at the chart i
00:10:49.280 just want all right so this is this has nothing to do with what i was saying wait wait wait i just
00:10:54.800 want you to say okay that's it that's it so this is the this is the fertility chart and this is different
00:11:01.280 statistics than what i was talking about so okay can we just this is what i was talking about so
00:11:06.560 you do you understand this yeah i was never debating it in the first place okay thank you