JustPearlyThings - October 26, 2023


These Young Women Gets SCHOOLED For Being Clueless About Men


Episode Stats


Length

31 minutes

Words per minute

201.97781

Word count

6,386

Sentence count

1

Harmful content

Misogyny

34

sentences flagged

Hate speech

13

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss toxic exes, controlling exes and toxic relationships and how to deal with them. We also discuss the difference between a toxic ex and a toxic relationship and how couples can work through them.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.720 so question what what is your definition of a toxic ex someone that feels entitled to making
00:00:08.480 decisions for you i feel like yeah yeah yeah that's a toxic ex someone that feels entitled to
00:00:16.240 to your life to your lifestyle but that also determines on whether you give them that entitled
00:00:20.960 what do you give them that but do you not like it when a guy has a bit of like control like with me
00:00:26.000 even though i basically have a lot of control in my career and in my life but i like to feel you
00:00:30.080 know petite and cute so i like when a man is like give it to me i like to have like a bit of um 0.98
00:00:37.600 controlling that oh where are you yeah i want to know you care about me because yeah
00:00:41.840 like the whole controlling thing shows you that he cares as well i think that's important in any
00:00:45.520 relationship yeah this is confusing you're nodding and she says this you agree but you're saying the
00:00:52.160 opposite of what you said because you know why i agree i agree because of the context that she
00:00:59.600 means it in yeah yeah yeah toxic oh like in an angry way in a yeah in a controlling way as in
00:01:06.240 i would want you to show me that you care i get that i like that i'm not gonna lie i can't lie
00:01:13.440 i can't lie to show me show me that you want me chase me okay okay so show me that you want me
00:01:18.640 i don't know you don't want him to feel entitled to making decisions yes but you want him to chase
00:01:23.440 you okay you want i'm just running this down yes chase you i do think that there's a huge difference
00:01:30.400 between controlling and a bit of dominance and i think that as a woman i think being in a relationship
00:01:35.600 like a man that has a little bit of dominance i think controlling and like constantly checking where
00:01:40.160 you are i feel like it's a bit too much in my opinion anyway i feel like there should be a level of
00:01:44.400 trust in a relationship word if you're chasing constantly asking myself but no when i said when
00:01:48.480 i said where like where are you it's more of like oh are you safe are you at home yet okay yeah so that's
00:01:52.800 different yeah okay what's the difference between controlling and dominance i think a dominant man is
00:01:58.640 someone that can like make decisions like say for example like we're going on a date okay i'm picking
00:02:04.640 you up at eight i'm taking you somewhere like that's kind of like dominance or like did you get home
00:02:08.800 safe or you know checking up on you and making sure you're good but like instead of being like where
00:02:13.120 are you what are you doing who are you with show me who you're with okay you can't you can't wear
00:02:17.440 that outfit like that is very toxic so so you want him to be able to make the decisions but not the
00:02:22.400 decision of what to wear okay so you know what that is attractive though when a man goes when a man
00:02:30.960 when a man goes oh babe i want you to wear that sexy outfit you look good in that okay yeah that's cute 0.99
00:02:36.160 that means he trusts you though don't you think there's a level of trust yeah what you're saying is
00:02:41.280 manipulation not yeah i don't think you guys are really answering the question by what she said
00:02:45.680 what is a toxic yeah you guys are just saying the guy's being controlled and manipulative i feel
00:02:50.960 like those are two different things yeah i agree with that okay what do you think i feel like a
00:02:56.320 toxic relationship is when two people are going at each other but in a way where you know that what
00:03:02.560 one person saying is not good and what another person saying is not good but it's like
00:03:06.400 in your head is it's good to them but in their head it's not good so it's like you guys are fighting
00:03:11.280 and banning like okay what's that what's it's like do you get what i'm trying to say yeah you're clashing
00:03:15.040 with each other like you might love each other to pieces but if it doesn't work and you have that
00:03:19.040 clash all the time yeah then that's what makes that's what makes it toxic so extreme fighting yeah okay
00:03:26.000 knowing that it's not good but you're still doing and you're still together
00:03:30.000 yeah okay so knowing it's not good but staying together yeah yeah what about what about rough
00:03:34.960 patches in marriages um i think rough patches in marriages i mean because don't you argue all
00:03:41.200 the time during a rough patch in a marriage you wouldn't think i agree but what i would say is if
00:03:45.520 you're married to someone it's a lifelong commitment and i think those are things that you should be able
00:03:50.240 to work through by communication like there's even like yeah it's couples therapy even like if you need
00:03:56.240 to do it if you're willing to like work through that then you can get through it but yeah everyone
00:04:01.760 argues yeah and i'm just see it's just it's very broad everything you guys are saying i'm just trying
00:04:06.320 to lock you down onto onto one thing uh go ahead i feel like it depends on what the topic of conversation
00:04:13.360 is and what you guys are arguing about that then depends whether if it's toxic or thing where i'm
00:04:17.920 correcting you on what you're doing is wrong yeah wait say that again sorry that all depends on what you
00:04:23.200 what you guys are arguing about for you for you to be for you to know whether it is toxic or thing
00:04:28.480 where you're just correcting the person because yeah so what what would be what would be an example
00:04:34.880 of something that's toxic and something that's not i've got one of course that's a good one
00:04:44.880 liking other girls pictures on instagram following bad girls that is toxic in itself i'm sorry
00:04:50.720 thinking do you think do you think it's don't you think it's toxic to be constantly looking who
00:04:54.080 he's following and who's liking that's why i say it takes two to tango yeah but at the end of the day
00:05:01.680 yeah if you really like one that person and you like the person you're with like why do you need
00:05:06.160 to seek elsewhere why do you need to have temptation yeah but why do you gotta get upset over an instagram
00:05:10.240 like because there's no actual you're double tapping it because you clearly like what you're seeing
00:05:15.040 but aren't you aren't you like what you're seeing no you don't you don't you don't think you're
00:05:19.440 looking for drama in a way no i'm trying to see if i can trust him you're doing it for trust
00:05:27.840 shouldn't you go into relationships in good faith no no no she's not everything she's saying is right
00:05:32.320 the reason why i'm saying no yes as you know we are gen z the way things were back then it's totally
00:05:38.160 different you guys didn't have social media you guys didn't have phones you guys all about trust
00:05:41.840 but i mean you guys i mean the people you never had phones i had a phone
00:05:48.880 so you guys didn't have phones so when you guys see people on the street and you're like we like
00:05:52.160 you'll go to them you you'll traps them right but now trapsing is double tapping because it says a
00:05:58.400 lot about a man's sexual discipline as well that's really okay what about what about when girls post 1.00
00:06:03.680 selfies while in a relationship yeah it's the same thing as i was saying yeah trapsing is double tapping
00:06:07.760 and liking a girl's picture that's showing that yes you're you're attracted to them and when they
00:06:11.120 say so you would you say a toxic girl post selfies and and while she's in a relationship if her 1.00
00:06:17.600 intention sorry if her intention is to get a reaction out of that from a certain audience then yes but
00:06:23.680 what if his intention was just to like the picture well why would you just like a and if anything let's
00:06:29.120 have an open conversation yeah you know what yeah because i don't like a single guy's picture or you
00:06:34.000 know what i mean because i would why would i give them the satisfaction of seeing me me in that
00:06:38.960 notifications no thank you i mean to be honest i don't really think that liking a girl's instagram
00:06:43.360 picture is that deep i think obviously if they go ahead and dm them and message them yeah but you
00:06:47.920 can appreciate someone's but you're pretty you're pretty you're putting the goal but you can just go
00:06:51.760 through your feet and actually couldn't you say couldn't you say the same thing about women that 0.99
00:06:56.640 post suggestive instagram pictures while in a relationship that they're they're looking for
00:07:00.480 attention even if it's just a selfie you know that men are you know how men are you know how they're
00:07:04.480 gonna what if they're in an open relationship we're not talking about if she's if she's looking 0.93
00:07:09.920 at who he's following complete different topics yeah a girl it's about body and female empowerment 0.97
00:07:17.040 at the end of the day look we've got all female panels it really just it really just sounds like
00:07:22.080 you want you want to do whatever you want but he can't do whatever he wants yeah excuse me
00:07:28.320 if you're in a relationship with a man there should be a level of trust there so you just you know that
00:07:32.320 already if he's liking another instagram post it's never that deep because he's not going to
00:07:36.240 because the trust isn't there it's because the trust isn't but you shouldn't be in a relationship
00:07:39.520 with someone you don't trust the trust should be there before you get into something serious about
00:07:43.120 that happening during a dating like when you're dating like the dating phase you don't think i mean
00:07:48.960 shouldn't you go into a relationship in good faith like assuming the best no but let's say you're just
00:07:53.120 dating you're not in a relation but you're about to get into the relationship but then you
00:07:57.840 you know what i mean i kind of think you're over thinking it way too much yeah i think i mean if
00:08:03.520 you guys are together and it's something serious and then he starts to go and follow loads of
00:08:07.200 oh yeah that's different that's different that's different i'm talking in the dating phase where
00:08:12.480 you're getting to know each other and he's still lacking other girls but you're both single so
00:08:15.920 you have the rights to do whatever you want i think unless it becomes something serious if
00:08:20.720 you're single you're going to chat to whoever and they're going to chat to whoever and then if you
00:08:24.400 decide that it's something that is worth trying for then you guys cut off your links or you do
00:08:29.440 whatever yeah yeah yeah no that's fair because the relationship was more based of trust right yeah
00:08:36.160 and then dating is more fair i don't even know man i think i think
00:08:40.000 i think men are just i honestly think
00:08:46.880 wait wait guys guys what finished men are what men are just you some of you just need a pattern up
00:08:53.520 some yeah a lot of you just don't who do you think is more promiscuous men or women
00:09:00.160 it's a question for me i feel like they're both promiscuous in different ways i feel like
00:09:04.960 females i thought you know what these days some of the some of these females are using instagram like a 1.00
00:09:09.760 dating app but i don't know what is going on they're posting like all these random pictures
00:09:13.040 like bro you don't have to do all of that focus on yourself and your career like who you're trying
00:09:16.720 to get attention from i think a lot of god there's attention seeking girls on instagram when it comes 1.00
00:09:21.600 to guys pick one who's who's more promiscuous promiscuous yeah if we're talking about like
00:09:28.400 visually you know i'm talking about who's who sleeps around more oh oh this is okay i misread the question
00:09:35.920 you say men yeah i say men okay so i'm gonna i'm gonna give you guys a stat did you know one in
00:09:41.760 three men under 30 are either virgins or haven't had sex in the past year do you think one in three
00:09:46.800 women under 30 are either virgins or haven't had sex in the past year no 0.96
00:09:51.600 no no i was gonna say women sleep more than men that's what i was gonna say oh i'm sorry
00:09:58.560 really is that true yeah women sleep more than men yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that's crazy though
00:10:03.360 oh my goodness do you guys do you guys um do you guys like tall guys are you into tall guys
00:10:09.600 you're like short kings i mean as long as they're taller than me i'm short as it is so i don't need a six
00:10:14.000 foot king i'm all right over five seven babe have you heard have you heard girls say that 0.69
00:10:18.400 they need a guy over six foot yeah all the time do any of you have an ex that's over six yeah yeah
00:10:24.080 yeah i need to be that girl okay i need to be that girl i need to say if you're not six foot i don't
00:10:28.880 know what what sorry go ahead as long as you're taller than me that's that's what that matters do you have
00:10:32.800 an ex over six foot yeah yeah it's okay it's okay um so what what percent of guys do you think are over
00:10:42.000 six foot one percent lucky guess 56 56 i'm gonna say 35 35 42 42 huh um how many i'm not drunk guys
00:10:57.520 um i would say 30 30 so it's only 15 percent of guys wow and now think about it think about it if uh
00:11:06.560 how many people said they have an ex over six foot you did you did you did all sleeping with the same
00:11:10.960 guys huh yeah that's that's what i mean like not you personally but women in general are sleeping with 1.00
00:11:19.440 the same guys because 80 of women want 20 of men no that is mad so so the reason like women think men are 0.84
00:11:26.400 trash and they think they're sleeping around all the time is because we go for such a small percentage
00:11:29.840 of of men and they are sleeping around all the time the majority of men if you go to tesco you
00:11:34.720 think they're getting any play okay so you're saying you're saying it comes to our choice in men
00:11:40.560 right that makes us think the rest are the same i think that's a fair statement actually yeah i agree with
00:11:46.720 that yeah that's a very interesting because i feel like a lot of the time like women when they're younger 0.99
00:11:52.320 yeah they go for like the bad boy or like something as you get older you kind of realize that like
00:11:57.600 certain traits that you would like find attractive like someone who's emotionally unavailable they
00:12:03.280 become unattractive as you get older you're only 22 right i know i've seen so many like people get
00:12:12.160 into relationships and it's just and it all flops and it's like yeah i'm scared i'm actually terrified
00:12:19.120 so um have you guys had a toxic ex yeah yes um it wasn't an ex but i guess yeah sort of toxic yeah
00:12:26.160 okay um nope i've had people who feel felt like they're obliged by having a say in my life because
00:12:35.360 they like me okay um how long were you involved with your toxic ex a year and a half yeah did you
00:12:51.920 love him yes yes five years five years oh my oh my goodness that is mad five years that is crazy did you
00:13:00.880 love him that's how you know it's toxic five years you didn't love him i don't know it was i wasn't
00:13:06.240 like in a relationship with him but it was just a very toxic situation so okay so you know you didn't
00:13:12.320 love him yes or no um i don't know maybe it was love to me at the time but now i see it i don't think
00:13:18.400 it's love like now when i look back on it okay wow five years okay so i actually never been in a
00:13:23.680 relationship like properly where i can say oh you know with boyfriend and girlfriend yeah but i've been in a
00:13:29.760 a lot of situations where i'm dating a guy and i would say yeah i'm this girl and he's been quite
00:13:33.120 toxic so yeah you yes yes and how long were you with him um i was with him for about
00:13:43.280 must have been like five months not long five months yeah i'm a busy woman i haven't really got
00:13:47.120 time did you did you love him no no okay so question question based on this panel two out of four of
00:13:54.960 you said you loved your toxic ex and you were with him for over a year would you say by that statement young
00:13:59.040 women love toxic men yes yes do you know what it is i think when you're young you don't really 0.98
00:14:04.960 know your boundaries properly yet and a lot of people put up with stuff that they wouldn't usually
00:14:10.320 put up with like i always say now like men only treat you bad if you let them if you let them yeah
00:14:16.320 if you let them treat you bad and you don't if you don't respect your boundaries then they're
00:14:19.760 gonna walk all over you and i think that's just bad guys though i think that's just bad guys like
00:14:25.440 i think there's something about young women like picking the bad boys like i don't think 1.00
00:14:29.920 you know what a nice guy isn't gonna walk all over you if you treat them well that's just yeah
00:14:34.880 i'm the youngest in here and i will tell you yeah it's because it's exciting it's like almost like
00:14:39.200 an adrenaline yeah especially when i have high energy we bounce off each other i knew it when
00:14:45.360 she was talking about the following i was like she likes the drama yeah literally but i also feel like
00:14:51.760 yeah it's not sorry i also feel like it depends on your circumstances as the young girl because i with
00:14:57.600 me i depended on my ex for living for food for everything so i felt like i was chained to him like
00:15:04.960 i was his had no one else you know so it was like circumstances made me and be in that situation so
00:15:11.200 what about that situation was toxic uh well he was basically like cheating around flirting with other
00:15:18.800 girls at work um i didn't know obviously because i was just like at home i didn't have a job i was just
00:15:24.880 like living off him you know but i feel like he he um had that power over me because i allowed him to
00:15:32.160 obviously so yeah so was it more than cheating or was he a good boyfriend outside of that it was more
00:15:38.640 than cheating i was involved in certain things as well so i felt like if he did if if he could do i
00:15:43.440 could do it too okay so you were cheating you were both cheating on each other then couldn't you just
00:15:47.360 done a standstill and then got along um no because i mean we did have conversations about it we we were
00:15:54.960 very open with each other but then obviously the cheating was lies he because he kept it from me so did
00:16:01.280 you keep your cheating from him no i told him i told him you don't want you don't know you don't
00:16:06.800 want to know who i cheated on him with but um he reacted no you don't really no i don't think this
00:16:12.720 is he famous no he's not no no no okay do i know him do i know him no you don't okay i cheated on him
00:16:21.520 with his sister listen if you break me i will break you back
00:16:29.040 this is your sister i'm gonna go viral no no no no no no so what made you what in your right mind i'm a
00:16:38.480 changed person i am a changed person i'm a changed person okay so why why why his sister i'm just gonna
00:16:46.240 listen my drink me and his sister were really good friends i mean clearly
00:16:54.640 we were really good friends and obviously one day she said she wanted to come over and i said cool
00:16:59.920 he was at work we got drunk and she started like pouncing on me okay i'm not even trying to like i'm
00:17:05.840 so serious like she was and i was like no like this isn't right and she was like no and then it
00:17:10.240 happened and i was like and then you told him yeah i told him how did he react he almost killed
00:17:16.880 was she younger how old was she she was younger yeah but we had a conversation about it and
00:17:22.800 i can't pay out his ethnicity anyway um it's it's almost like common from where he's from
00:17:29.360 pardon yeah where is he from we can't tell you oh my goodness
00:17:33.200 what's the what's holding you back what country do we need to not date um let's just say somewhere in
00:17:44.880 africa somewhere somewhere in africa yeah okay where where in africa is that coming that's not coming
00:17:50.720 where i'm from okay so south africa oh wow guys please don't get onto me i've honestly learned something
00:17:59.680 today i'm not gonna lie no but um it's not coming but it was like a thing within his
00:18:07.600 i'll take your word i feel like it's just getting worse but um the thing within his family
00:18:11.840 and i said his family why did you pick that up because you said it you know like i can hear but
00:18:18.720 because i'm regardless of whether i did something wrong or not regardless of whether i hurt someone's
00:18:23.600 feeling or not i am an honest person and i feel like that's very very important if you're
00:18:29.440 if you're talking to someone if you're in a relationship with someone if you're just with
00:18:33.280 people anyway you know so i i just i clarified that with him he got upset he came back and he was like
00:18:39.040 thank you for being honest with me you know so it was like yeah but he was toxic for cheating on you
00:18:45.040 and not telling you yes i had to find out would you would you rather have him told you yes do you
00:18:51.040 think men lie to women they care about or that they or they tell the truth to women they lie to women 0.98
00:18:56.080 they care about and they feel like maybe like certain characteristics that they have for example
00:19:01.440 um some because some women are really stern like if you cheat on me that's it and because they care 1.00
00:19:06.960 so much they don't want to lose you so that thought of having to lose you would now be in be in their
00:19:12.480 head obviously and yeah they wouldn't they wouldn't tell you so outside of the cheating anything else
00:19:17.040 toxic or just that um yeah we smoked a lot of stuff
00:19:24.720 i i guess that's drugs
00:19:29.040 i guess that was toxic yeah okay um all right what about you
00:19:32.800 um what was the question um what was toxic about you said you had a toxic situationship
00:19:43.600 yeah what was toxic about it um it was very emotionally abusive so like even though i see
00:19:49.200 myself as a strong person but there's only so many times you can like get knocked down and i
00:19:53.280 dealt with it and i feel like i didn't respect my own boundaries which led to me being in that
00:19:58.160 situation um yeah it was just very unhealthy what is emotional abuse um i think to constantly knock
00:20:06.560 someone's confidence down make them feel bad about themselves to threaten them and like what
00:20:11.360 specifically um i don't know like it could really be anything like you know just i'm asking like to
00:20:19.120 you like what did he say like what how was he emotionally abusive oh he just like just used to
00:20:24.560 knock me down like i used to be a bit slow because i had a history of like doing like party drugs okay
00:20:31.680 i feel like it actually affected my like mental development a bit like i had a starter for a long
00:20:36.560 time like i was a bit slow and it was one of my biggest insecurities and i used to get dig that a
00:20:43.120 lot for that like oh you're so slow you're stupid you're this and that's what he would say to you 0.78
00:20:46.640 yeah and also um i lost a lot of weight because of stress and i was very insecure in my skin
00:20:52.000 like you're so skinny like you lost so much weight and it would just make me feel like a bit rubbish
00:20:57.200 about myself um and what did what did you say to him back like did you push back or what yeah i would
00:21:03.600 push back i would tell him like don't talk to me like that or i don't like that or something because
00:21:06.960 he did used to like threaten me and stuff but he used to threaten you yeah he was he was like threatened
00:21:12.640 threatened to do like what kill you or no like just to like you know bring his fists up to me and stuff
00:21:17.920 i knew he would never do anything but like yeah it was just not a nice situation i would always
00:21:22.880 stand my ground about that but i would continue to put up with it for so long so that's why like
00:21:28.640 i was disrespected for so long but yeah literally after i got out of it i put on weight like i was i
00:21:34.000 got a glow like life is good oh we love a happy ending yeah um what about no you you said yeah i mean
00:21:46.160 you were you were sort of um maybe you know no he told you not to wear something
00:21:52.960 you know what it is now i'm hearing both the stories maybe i have actually been in a toxic
00:22:07.200 um relationship we say or toxic x but everyone has their own meaning of toxic at the end of the
00:22:12.480 day obviously i'm sure there is like a meaning by book but everyone has their like individual
00:22:17.040 meaning yeah yeah one meaning yeah you know what i'm trying to say but yeah basically i think with
00:22:24.000 me obviously um it wasn't for that long i think i think what's toxic is like he was saying he wanted
00:22:30.960 to see me but didn't see me and this was about eight months so he would say he'd want to see you and
00:22:36.320 then he wouldn't see you you call that toxic no but because he constantly like makes promises to you
00:22:46.320 or he makes plans of you and lets you down consistently and it's like and you know with me
00:22:50.800 you cannot take advantage of me i'll be like leave then stop leading me on so i'm not leaving you on
00:22:55.040 have you ever um promised to go on a date and not get went not went have you ever blown off a guy
00:22:59.680 for a date yeah are you guys all toxic yeah yeah i used to be i used to be i used to do the whole
00:23:08.240 i used to do the whole player thing i will lead you on and then just remove you i'm pretty sure
00:23:11.600 all girls have entertained guys like plenty of times in their lifetime it's for their own selfish 0.80
00:23:15.680 reasons yeah yeah but women aren't demonized for it men are we call it entertainment entertainment 1.00
00:23:22.000 entertainment entertainment right but so you can say entertainment guys you can say
00:23:29.200 like a rotation entertainment ha ha ha but when a guy says that he's toxic
00:23:34.160 yeah that's absolutely correct he says the exact same thing i do think women can be just as bad as men 1.00
00:23:38.400 though some women are actually demons like yeah evil pure evil yeah tell me who are you thinking 1.00
00:23:44.800 of what story no i've just like seen how like some women treat men and like you know um some women 1.00
00:23:53.200 can be very narcissistic i think social media especially has like become a breeding ground for
00:23:59.280 narcissism and a lot of people but i do also think the term's thrown around very loosely
00:24:04.160 and a lot of people are accused of being a narcissist when they're actually not no but what
00:24:07.840 what girl you said you could think of a narcissistic girl's or story give us the tea yeah um i mean i
00:24:16.480 could use like my i don't know like i don't know any narcissistic women but i've like heard stories 1.00
00:24:22.800 oh you've heard stories i've heard lots of stories and it's it's actually like heartbreaking because a lot
00:24:27.200 of the time these men really care for these women unless they're trapped in this abusive relationship you know
00:24:31.920 what a lot of girls trap guys by getting pregnant they do but at the same time and they have all 1.00
00:24:37.760 this baby mom and dad but it's like it's mad no but you know what it is yeah when it comes to like
00:24:41.920 trapping a man with a baby you need to be careful who you sleep with if you're sleeping with people 0.98
00:24:46.240 loosely and you you run the risk of getting that person pregnant so you have to you have to sit like 0.98
00:24:52.160 you dug your grave remember we said earlier about if you you only go into place with that person you
00:24:57.680 don't know if you want to be with them and you get into place because of trust and then you'd only
00:25:01.200 sleep with that person if you're like don't mean that yeah at the same time at the same time if you
00:25:05.680 don't want a baby then you need to wrap up because yeah yeah as much as it takes two to tango you need 1.00
00:25:10.880 to protect yourself for your own good like yeah yeah the woman can say she's on the pill she's on this
00:25:15.360 she's on that but like at the same time protect yourself you know you said you've you've heard of a
00:25:20.800 girl trapping a guy tell me about that um we're just baiting people's business obviously someone
00:25:30.560 in the music industry about who it is you can if you want uh yeah be careful babe be careful but
00:25:37.680 but what i'm gonna say obviously um yeah he was obviously dating i think this like girl only fans
00:25:45.920 goal and um yeah and then obviously his energy kind of switched right and she was quite um
00:25:55.120 toxic i know she's toxic because she used to i heard from other girls that she used to block she's to go 1.00
00:26:00.080 on his phone and block certain goals oh wow and um used to go and she'd go through people's like 0.51
00:26:05.440 insta stories and stuff and who he follows that makes sense yeah that makes sense yeah and then
00:26:11.760 afterwards um obviously who knows how she got pregnant yeah and then but obviously again it was 1.00
00:26:20.240 it was it wasn't serious he was doing it mainly for pleasure because of her body right she's got a 0.97
00:26:25.680 nice body okay cool what else can you bring to the table you know we've got beautiful lady panelists 1.00
00:26:30.640 and tonight we've all got body body yoddy yeah but we you know i mean but we've got more than that
00:26:34.960 hence why we're here today that's what i'm trying to say but obviously in the in that case of obviously
00:26:40.720 trapping him it's crazy because now it's messed up his career a little bit he obviously didn't want
00:26:45.680 it he did not really taking responsibility and he's kind of like hiding away from everyone almost
00:26:50.800 and obviously that can impact the man mentally as well and i think a lot of people don't focus on a
00:26:55.600 man's mental health as well and i think females are all like oh we're emotional and we've got feelings 1.00
00:27:00.960 but obviously men are taught to obviously keep that away but but also what i would say is like once a
00:27:06.880 woman like when a woman actually falls pregnant it's a very very very difficult decision to make
00:27:12.560 whether to keep it or to get rid of it like when you fall pregnant how do you fall pregnant
00:27:19.120 yeah it's a it's an actual baby i mean you might tell yourself oh i don't want a baby and then you
00:27:37.120 fall pregnant and you're like oh like what have i done yeah what have i done like i actually want
00:27:42.160 to keep this baby now or i'm gonna that's what i feel like a lot of people do you guys don't think
00:27:45.840 about the consequences of your actions you're always relying on i feel like this generation
00:27:49.440 likes so much awareness yeah are you present are you aware of like what you're doing and the
00:27:55.920 consequences but our generation i would say mostly yeah this generation i would say mostly women yeah 0.72
00:28:00.240 so we go back to what you said women i would say women use abortion as a form i would say we use it as 1.00
00:28:04.720 a form of birth control which is not good which is not good by the way i i mean i know people might
00:28:10.560 have different um views but i say that's not good that's horrible yeah i think if you don't want to
00:28:16.240 get pregnant then you need to like take the precautions to not get pregnant obviously if
00:28:20.560 you need to have an abortion then like you get an abortion because there's women out there that 1.00
00:28:26.880 can't have children and then if you get a lot of abortions that can actually stop you from having 1.00
00:28:30.080 kids in the future that is very true that is very true because i took the pill so many times i now
00:28:36.000 suffer from polycystic ovarian syndrome so it's hard for me to actually get pregnant um unfortunately
00:28:42.240 i haven't seen my period for four years but recently i got my period through some prophet that prayed
00:28:46.560 for me and yeah i'm delivered guys miracle wait so from like from what did you get it from the pill
00:28:52.480 like um like do you mean the morning after pill or the the morning after pill yeah i took that too
00:28:57.280 many times and i also went on the pill how many times did you take it oh i think like six seven times
00:29:04.640 six seven times within the span of how long um within oh maybe like a month six seven in a month
00:29:12.960 wow yeah and did you know that was a possible side effect no i didn't and how did you find out
00:29:18.160 that you had that this was actually well what the polycystic ovarian syndrome when i was in a
00:29:22.800 relationship with my toxic ex because i noticed that he would obviously inside of me and then i would
00:29:29.200 notice that i wasn't like getting pregnant and i was gaining so much weight really quickly
00:29:34.400 and um i started growing excess excess hair in certain places so those are all the side
00:29:40.240 effects of getting um polycystic ovarian syndromes and then i went to the doctors found out i had it
00:29:45.520 and yeah that's what happened what was that like for you it was scary because i love kids i'm i am a
00:29:52.640 child myself you know like i love laughs i love playing i love to just be me everywhere so kids was a big
00:29:59.440 factor for me but i knew that in due time things will work out in my favor and i will get the kids
00:30:05.280 that i want it's not impossible not to have kids but it's harder 10 times do you wish they told you
00:30:11.360 about that um before you before i took yes thousand percent yeah that's um thousand percent because
00:30:16.720 i feel like a lot of girls really don't know about the side effects they don't discuss them the doctors
00:30:20.960 don't tell you i've never really been on it because when i heard about birth control i was like you're
00:30:24.880 gonna stop me from getting pregnant yeah yeah education i want education in that aspect when 0.97
00:30:31.120 it comes to contraception methods it's not that good the teacher a little bit at school but not
00:30:35.760 completely like the full full deal but even when you go and like get it prescribed the doctor don't
00:30:40.000 really tell you nothing and you know what there's so many women that go on contraception and then they 1.00
00:30:44.400 can't they struggle to get pregnant afterwards like they're like oh your fertility goes back to normal
00:30:48.640 straight away and it doesn't and some people are trying for a baby and three years down the line they still
00:30:53.360 can't have a child because they've been everyone's body is different as well everyone's body works
00:30:57.360 differently yeah yeah yeah it's hard do you guys believe that the label toxic is overused in
00:31:04.080 relationships today yes yeah i mean look at me like what 10 minutes ago i was like yeah
00:31:13.280 like come on now like really and then hearing them stories that you know there's different like i said
00:31:17.040 there's different um heights of toxic as many of you know i was just banned on tick tock and we are
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