JustPearlyThings - October 26, 2023


These Young Women Gets SCHOOLED For Being Clueless About Men


Episode Stats

Length

31 minutes

Words per Minute

201.97781

Word Count

6,386

Sentence Count

1

Misogynist Sentences

34

Hate Speech Sentences

13


Summary

In this episode, we discuss toxic exes, controlling exes and toxic relationships and how to deal with them. We also discuss the difference between a toxic ex and a toxic relationship and how couples can work through them.


Transcript

00:00:00.720 so question what what is your definition of a toxic ex someone that feels entitled to making
00:00:08.480 decisions for you i feel like yeah yeah yeah that's a toxic ex someone that feels entitled to
00:00:16.240 to your life to your lifestyle but that also determines on whether you give them that entitled
00:00:20.960 what do you give them that but do you not like it when a guy has a bit of like control like with me
00:00:26.000 even though i basically have a lot of control in my career and in my life but i like to feel you
00:00:30.080 know petite and cute so i like when a man is like give it to me i like to have like a bit of um
00:00:37.600 controlling that oh where are you yeah i want to know you care about me because yeah
00:00:41.840 like the whole controlling thing shows you that he cares as well i think that's important in any
00:00:45.520 relationship yeah this is confusing you're nodding and she says this you agree but you're saying the
00:00:52.160 opposite of what you said because you know why i agree i agree because of the context that she
00:00:59.600 means it in yeah yeah yeah toxic oh like in an angry way in a yeah in a controlling way as in
00:01:06.240 i would want you to show me that you care i get that i like that i'm not gonna lie i can't lie
00:01:13.440 i can't lie to show me show me that you want me chase me okay okay so show me that you want me
00:01:18.640 i don't know you don't want him to feel entitled to making decisions yes but you want him to chase
00:01:23.440 you okay you want i'm just running this down yes chase you i do think that there's a huge difference
00:01:30.400 between controlling and a bit of dominance and i think that as a woman i think being in a relationship
00:01:35.600 like a man that has a little bit of dominance i think controlling and like constantly checking where
00:01:40.160 you are i feel like it's a bit too much in my opinion anyway i feel like there should be a level of
00:01:44.400 trust in a relationship word if you're chasing constantly asking myself but no when i said when
00:01:48.480 i said where like where are you it's more of like oh are you safe are you at home yet okay yeah so that's
00:01:52.800 different yeah okay what's the difference between controlling and dominance i think a dominant man is
00:01:58.640 someone that can like make decisions like say for example like we're going on a date okay i'm picking
00:02:04.640 you up at eight i'm taking you somewhere like that's kind of like dominance or like did you get home
00:02:08.800 safe or you know checking up on you and making sure you're good but like instead of being like where
00:02:13.120 are you what are you doing who are you with show me who you're with okay you can't you can't wear
00:02:17.440 that outfit like that is very toxic so so you want him to be able to make the decisions but not the
00:02:22.400 decision of what to wear okay so you know what that is attractive though when a man goes when a man
00:02:30.960 when a man goes oh babe i want you to wear that sexy outfit you look good in that okay yeah that's cute
00:02:36.160 that means he trusts you though don't you think there's a level of trust yeah what you're saying is
00:02:41.280 manipulation not yeah i don't think you guys are really answering the question by what she said
00:02:45.680 what is a toxic yeah you guys are just saying the guy's being controlled and manipulative i feel
00:02:50.960 like those are two different things yeah i agree with that okay what do you think i feel like a
00:02:56.320 toxic relationship is when two people are going at each other but in a way where you know that what
00:03:02.560 one person saying is not good and what another person saying is not good but it's like
00:03:06.400 in your head is it's good to them but in their head it's not good so it's like you guys are fighting
00:03:11.280 and banning like okay what's that what's it's like do you get what i'm trying to say yeah you're clashing
00:03:15.040 with each other like you might love each other to pieces but if it doesn't work and you have that
00:03:19.040 clash all the time yeah then that's what makes that's what makes it toxic so extreme fighting yeah okay
00:03:26.000 knowing that it's not good but you're still doing and you're still together
00:03:30.000 yeah okay so knowing it's not good but staying together yeah yeah what about what about rough
00:03:34.960 patches in marriages um i think rough patches in marriages i mean because don't you argue all
00:03:41.200 the time during a rough patch in a marriage you wouldn't think i agree but what i would say is if
00:03:45.520 you're married to someone it's a lifelong commitment and i think those are things that you should be able
00:03:50.240 to work through by communication like there's even like yeah it's couples therapy even like if you need
00:03:56.240 to do it if you're willing to like work through that then you can get through it but yeah everyone
00:04:01.760 argues yeah and i'm just see it's just it's very broad everything you guys are saying i'm just trying
00:04:06.320 to lock you down onto onto one thing uh go ahead i feel like it depends on what the topic of conversation
00:04:13.360 is and what you guys are arguing about that then depends whether if it's toxic or thing where i'm
00:04:17.920 correcting you on what you're doing is wrong yeah wait say that again sorry that all depends on what you
00:04:23.200 what you guys are arguing about for you for you to be for you to know whether it is toxic or thing
00:04:28.480 where you're just correcting the person because yeah so what what would be what would be an example
00:04:34.880 of something that's toxic and something that's not i've got one of course that's a good one
00:04:44.880 liking other girls pictures on instagram following bad girls that is toxic in itself i'm sorry
00:04:50.720 thinking do you think do you think it's don't you think it's toxic to be constantly looking who
00:04:54.080 he's following and who's liking that's why i say it takes two to tango yeah but at the end of the day
00:05:01.680 yeah if you really like one that person and you like the person you're with like why do you need
00:05:06.160 to seek elsewhere why do you need to have temptation yeah but why do you gotta get upset over an instagram
00:05:10.240 like because there's no actual you're double tapping it because you clearly like what you're seeing
00:05:15.040 but aren't you aren't you like what you're seeing no you don't you don't you don't think you're
00:05:19.440 looking for drama in a way no i'm trying to see if i can trust him you're doing it for trust
00:05:27.840 shouldn't you go into relationships in good faith no no no she's not everything she's saying is right
00:05:32.320 the reason why i'm saying no yes as you know we are gen z the way things were back then it's totally
00:05:38.160 different you guys didn't have social media you guys didn't have phones you guys all about trust
00:05:41.840 but i mean you guys i mean the people you never had phones i had a phone
00:05:48.880 so you guys didn't have phones so when you guys see people on the street and you're like we like
00:05:52.160 you'll go to them you you'll traps them right but now trapsing is double tapping because it says a
00:05:58.400 lot about a man's sexual discipline as well that's really okay what about what about when girls post
00:06:03.680 selfies while in a relationship yeah it's the same thing as i was saying yeah trapsing is double tapping
00:06:07.760 and liking a girl's picture that's showing that yes you're you're attracted to them and when they
00:06:11.120 say so you would you say a toxic girl post selfies and and while she's in a relationship if her
00:06:17.600 intention sorry if her intention is to get a reaction out of that from a certain audience then yes but
00:06:23.680 what if his intention was just to like the picture well why would you just like a and if anything let's
00:06:29.120 have an open conversation yeah you know what yeah because i don't like a single guy's picture or you
00:06:34.000 know what i mean because i would why would i give them the satisfaction of seeing me me in that
00:06:38.960 notifications no thank you i mean to be honest i don't really think that liking a girl's instagram
00:06:43.360 picture is that deep i think obviously if they go ahead and dm them and message them yeah but you
00:06:47.920 can appreciate someone's but you're pretty you're pretty you're putting the goal but you can just go
00:06:51.760 through your feet and actually couldn't you say couldn't you say the same thing about women that
00:06:56.640 post suggestive instagram pictures while in a relationship that they're they're looking for
00:07:00.480 attention even if it's just a selfie you know that men are you know how men are you know how they're
00:07:04.480 gonna what if they're in an open relationship we're not talking about if she's if she's looking
00:07:09.920 at who he's following complete different topics yeah a girl it's about body and female empowerment
00:07:17.040 at the end of the day look we've got all female panels it really just it really just sounds like
00:07:22.080 you want you want to do whatever you want but he can't do whatever he wants yeah excuse me
00:07:28.320 if you're in a relationship with a man there should be a level of trust there so you just you know that
00:07:32.320 already if he's liking another instagram post it's never that deep because he's not going to
00:07:36.240 because the trust isn't there it's because the trust isn't but you shouldn't be in a relationship
00:07:39.520 with someone you don't trust the trust should be there before you get into something serious about
00:07:43.120 that happening during a dating like when you're dating like the dating phase you don't think i mean
00:07:48.960 shouldn't you go into a relationship in good faith like assuming the best no but let's say you're just
00:07:53.120 dating you're not in a relation but you're about to get into the relationship but then you
00:07:57.840 you know what i mean i kind of think you're over thinking it way too much yeah i think i mean if
00:08:03.520 you guys are together and it's something serious and then he starts to go and follow loads of
00:08:07.200 oh yeah that's different that's different that's different i'm talking in the dating phase where
00:08:12.480 you're getting to know each other and he's still lacking other girls but you're both single so
00:08:15.920 you have the rights to do whatever you want i think unless it becomes something serious if
00:08:20.720 you're single you're going to chat to whoever and they're going to chat to whoever and then if you
00:08:24.400 decide that it's something that is worth trying for then you guys cut off your links or you do
00:08:29.440 whatever yeah yeah yeah no that's fair because the relationship was more based of trust right yeah
00:08:36.160 and then dating is more fair i don't even know man i think i think
00:08:40.000 i think men are just i honestly think
00:08:46.880 wait wait guys guys what finished men are what men are just you some of you just need a pattern up
00:08:53.520 some yeah a lot of you just don't who do you think is more promiscuous men or women
00:09:00.160 it's a question for me i feel like they're both promiscuous in different ways i feel like
00:09:04.960 females i thought you know what these days some of the some of these females are using instagram like a
00:09:09.760 dating app but i don't know what is going on they're posting like all these random pictures
00:09:13.040 like bro you don't have to do all of that focus on yourself and your career like who you're trying
00:09:16.720 to get attention from i think a lot of god there's attention seeking girls on instagram when it comes
00:09:21.600 to guys pick one who's who's more promiscuous promiscuous yeah if we're talking about like
00:09:28.400 visually you know i'm talking about who's who sleeps around more oh oh this is okay i misread the question
00:09:35.920 you say men yeah i say men okay so i'm gonna i'm gonna give you guys a stat did you know one in
00:09:41.760 three men under 30 are either virgins or haven't had sex in the past year do you think one in three
00:09:46.800 women under 30 are either virgins or haven't had sex in the past year no
00:09:51.600 no no i was gonna say women sleep more than men that's what i was gonna say oh i'm sorry
00:09:58.560 really is that true yeah women sleep more than men yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that's crazy though
00:10:03.360 oh my goodness do you guys do you guys um do you guys like tall guys are you into tall guys
00:10:09.600 you're like short kings i mean as long as they're taller than me i'm short as it is so i don't need a six
00:10:14.000 foot king i'm all right over five seven babe have you heard have you heard girls say that
00:10:18.400 they need a guy over six foot yeah all the time do any of you have an ex that's over six yeah yeah
00:10:24.080 yeah i need to be that girl okay i need to be that girl i need to say if you're not six foot i don't
00:10:28.880 know what what sorry go ahead as long as you're taller than me that's that's what that matters do you have
00:10:32.800 an ex over six foot yeah yeah it's okay it's okay um so what what percent of guys do you think are over
00:10:42.000 six foot one percent lucky guess 56 56 i'm gonna say 35 35 42 42 huh um how many i'm not drunk guys
00:10:57.520 um i would say 30 30 so it's only 15 percent of guys wow and now think about it think about it if uh
00:11:06.560 how many people said they have an ex over six foot you did you did you did all sleeping with the same
00:11:10.960 guys huh yeah that's that's what i mean like not you personally but women in general are sleeping with
00:11:19.440 the same guys because 80 of women want 20 of men no that is mad so so the reason like women think men are
00:11:26.400 trash and they think they're sleeping around all the time is because we go for such a small percentage
00:11:29.840 of of men and they are sleeping around all the time the majority of men if you go to tesco you
00:11:34.720 think they're getting any play okay so you're saying you're saying it comes to our choice in men
00:11:40.560 right that makes us think the rest are the same i think that's a fair statement actually yeah i agree with
00:11:46.720 that yeah that's a very interesting because i feel like a lot of the time like women when they're younger
00:11:52.320 yeah they go for like the bad boy or like something as you get older you kind of realize that like
00:11:57.600 certain traits that you would like find attractive like someone who's emotionally unavailable they
00:12:03.280 become unattractive as you get older you're only 22 right i know i've seen so many like people get
00:12:12.160 into relationships and it's just and it all flops and it's like yeah i'm scared i'm actually terrified
00:12:19.120 so um have you guys had a toxic ex yeah yes um it wasn't an ex but i guess yeah sort of toxic yeah
00:12:26.160 okay um nope i've had people who feel felt like they're obliged by having a say in my life because
00:12:35.360 they like me okay um how long were you involved with your toxic ex a year and a half yeah did you
00:12:51.920 love him yes yes five years five years oh my oh my goodness that is mad five years that is crazy did you
00:13:00.880 love him that's how you know it's toxic five years you didn't love him i don't know it was i wasn't
00:13:06.240 like in a relationship with him but it was just a very toxic situation so okay so you know you didn't
00:13:12.320 love him yes or no um i don't know maybe it was love to me at the time but now i see it i don't think
00:13:18.400 it's love like now when i look back on it okay wow five years okay so i actually never been in a
00:13:23.680 relationship like properly where i can say oh you know with boyfriend and girlfriend yeah but i've been in a
00:13:29.760 a lot of situations where i'm dating a guy and i would say yeah i'm this girl and he's been quite
00:13:33.120 toxic so yeah you yes yes and how long were you with him um i was with him for about
00:13:43.280 must have been like five months not long five months yeah i'm a busy woman i haven't really got
00:13:47.120 time did you did you love him no no okay so question question based on this panel two out of four of
00:13:54.960 you said you loved your toxic ex and you were with him for over a year would you say by that statement young
00:13:59.040 women love toxic men yes yes do you know what it is i think when you're young you don't really
00:14:04.960 know your boundaries properly yet and a lot of people put up with stuff that they wouldn't usually
00:14:10.320 put up with like i always say now like men only treat you bad if you let them if you let them yeah
00:14:16.320 if you let them treat you bad and you don't if you don't respect your boundaries then they're
00:14:19.760 gonna walk all over you and i think that's just bad guys though i think that's just bad guys like
00:14:25.440 i think there's something about young women like picking the bad boys like i don't think
00:14:29.920 you know what a nice guy isn't gonna walk all over you if you treat them well that's just yeah
00:14:34.880 i'm the youngest in here and i will tell you yeah it's because it's exciting it's like almost like
00:14:39.200 an adrenaline yeah especially when i have high energy we bounce off each other i knew it when
00:14:45.360 she was talking about the following i was like she likes the drama yeah literally but i also feel like
00:14:51.760 yeah it's not sorry i also feel like it depends on your circumstances as the young girl because i with
00:14:57.600 me i depended on my ex for living for food for everything so i felt like i was chained to him like
00:15:04.960 i was his had no one else you know so it was like circumstances made me and be in that situation so
00:15:11.200 what about that situation was toxic uh well he was basically like cheating around flirting with other
00:15:18.800 girls at work um i didn't know obviously because i was just like at home i didn't have a job i was just
00:15:24.880 like living off him you know but i feel like he he um had that power over me because i allowed him to
00:15:32.160 obviously so yeah so was it more than cheating or was he a good boyfriend outside of that it was more
00:15:38.640 than cheating i was involved in certain things as well so i felt like if he did if if he could do i
00:15:43.440 could do it too okay so you were cheating you were both cheating on each other then couldn't you just
00:15:47.360 done a standstill and then got along um no because i mean we did have conversations about it we we were
00:15:54.960 very open with each other but then obviously the cheating was lies he because he kept it from me so did
00:16:01.280 you keep your cheating from him no i told him i told him you don't want you don't know you don't
00:16:06.800 want to know who i cheated on him with but um he reacted no you don't really no i don't think this
00:16:12.720 is he famous no he's not no no no okay do i know him do i know him no you don't okay i cheated on him
00:16:21.520 with his sister listen if you break me i will break you back
00:16:29.040 this is your sister i'm gonna go viral no no no no no no so what made you what in your right mind i'm a
00:16:38.480 changed person i am a changed person i'm a changed person okay so why why why his sister i'm just gonna
00:16:46.240 listen my drink me and his sister were really good friends i mean clearly
00:16:54.640 we were really good friends and obviously one day she said she wanted to come over and i said cool
00:16:59.920 he was at work we got drunk and she started like pouncing on me okay i'm not even trying to like i'm
00:17:05.840 so serious like she was and i was like no like this isn't right and she was like no and then it
00:17:10.240 happened and i was like and then you told him yeah i told him how did he react he almost killed
00:17:16.880 was she younger how old was she she was younger yeah but we had a conversation about it and
00:17:22.800 i can't pay out his ethnicity anyway um it's it's almost like common from where he's from
00:17:29.360 pardon yeah where is he from we can't tell you oh my goodness
00:17:33.200 what's the what's holding you back what country do we need to not date um let's just say somewhere in
00:17:44.880 africa somewhere somewhere in africa yeah okay where where in africa is that coming that's not coming
00:17:50.720 where i'm from okay so south africa oh wow guys please don't get onto me i've honestly learned something
00:17:59.680 today i'm not gonna lie no but um it's not coming but it was like a thing within his
00:18:07.600 i'll take your word i feel like it's just getting worse but um the thing within his family
00:18:11.840 and i said his family why did you pick that up because you said it you know like i can hear but
00:18:18.720 because i'm regardless of whether i did something wrong or not regardless of whether i hurt someone's
00:18:23.600 feeling or not i am an honest person and i feel like that's very very important if you're
00:18:29.440 if you're talking to someone if you're in a relationship with someone if you're just with
00:18:33.280 people anyway you know so i i just i clarified that with him he got upset he came back and he was like
00:18:39.040 thank you for being honest with me you know so it was like yeah but he was toxic for cheating on you
00:18:45.040 and not telling you yes i had to find out would you would you rather have him told you yes do you
00:18:51.040 think men lie to women they care about or that they or they tell the truth to women they lie to women
00:18:56.080 they care about and they feel like maybe like certain characteristics that they have for example
00:19:01.440 um some because some women are really stern like if you cheat on me that's it and because they care
00:19:06.960 so much they don't want to lose you so that thought of having to lose you would now be in be in their
00:19:12.480 head obviously and yeah they wouldn't they wouldn't tell you so outside of the cheating anything else
00:19:17.040 toxic or just that um yeah we smoked a lot of stuff
00:19:24.720 i i guess that's drugs
00:19:29.040 i guess that was toxic yeah okay um all right what about you
00:19:32.800 um what was the question um what was toxic about you said you had a toxic situationship
00:19:43.600 yeah what was toxic about it um it was very emotionally abusive so like even though i see
00:19:49.200 myself as a strong person but there's only so many times you can like get knocked down and i
00:19:53.280 dealt with it and i feel like i didn't respect my own boundaries which led to me being in that
00:19:58.160 situation um yeah it was just very unhealthy what is emotional abuse um i think to constantly knock
00:20:06.560 someone's confidence down make them feel bad about themselves to threaten them and like what
00:20:11.360 specifically um i don't know like it could really be anything like you know just i'm asking like to
00:20:19.120 you like what did he say like what how was he emotionally abusive oh he just like just used to
00:20:24.560 knock me down like i used to be a bit slow because i had a history of like doing like party drugs okay
00:20:31.680 i feel like it actually affected my like mental development a bit like i had a starter for a long
00:20:36.560 time like i was a bit slow and it was one of my biggest insecurities and i used to get dig that a
00:20:43.120 lot for that like oh you're so slow you're stupid you're this and that's what he would say to you
00:20:46.640 yeah and also um i lost a lot of weight because of stress and i was very insecure in my skin
00:20:52.000 like you're so skinny like you lost so much weight and it would just make me feel like a bit rubbish
00:20:57.200 about myself um and what did what did you say to him back like did you push back or what yeah i would
00:21:03.600 push back i would tell him like don't talk to me like that or i don't like that or something because
00:21:06.960 he did used to like threaten me and stuff but he used to threaten you yeah he was he was like threatened
00:21:12.640 threatened to do like what kill you or no like just to like you know bring his fists up to me and stuff
00:21:17.920 i knew he would never do anything but like yeah it was just not a nice situation i would always
00:21:22.880 stand my ground about that but i would continue to put up with it for so long so that's why like
00:21:28.640 i was disrespected for so long but yeah literally after i got out of it i put on weight like i was i
00:21:34.000 got a glow like life is good oh we love a happy ending yeah um what about no you you said yeah i mean
00:21:46.160 you were you were sort of um maybe you know no he told you not to wear something
00:21:52.960 you know what it is now i'm hearing both the stories maybe i have actually been in a toxic
00:22:07.200 um relationship we say or toxic x but everyone has their own meaning of toxic at the end of the
00:22:12.480 day obviously i'm sure there is like a meaning by book but everyone has their like individual
00:22:17.040 meaning yeah yeah one meaning yeah you know what i'm trying to say but yeah basically i think with
00:22:24.000 me obviously um it wasn't for that long i think i think what's toxic is like he was saying he wanted
00:22:30.960 to see me but didn't see me and this was about eight months so he would say he'd want to see you and
00:22:36.320 then he wouldn't see you you call that toxic no but because he constantly like makes promises to you
00:22:46.320 or he makes plans of you and lets you down consistently and it's like and you know with me
00:22:50.800 you cannot take advantage of me i'll be like leave then stop leading me on so i'm not leaving you on
00:22:55.040 have you ever um promised to go on a date and not get went not went have you ever blown off a guy
00:22:59.680 for a date yeah are you guys all toxic yeah yeah i used to be i used to be i used to do the whole
00:23:08.240 i used to do the whole player thing i will lead you on and then just remove you i'm pretty sure
00:23:11.600 all girls have entertained guys like plenty of times in their lifetime it's for their own selfish
00:23:15.680 reasons yeah yeah but women aren't demonized for it men are we call it entertainment entertainment
00:23:22.000 entertainment entertainment right but so you can say entertainment guys you can say
00:23:29.200 like a rotation entertainment ha ha ha but when a guy says that he's toxic
00:23:34.160 yeah that's absolutely correct he says the exact same thing i do think women can be just as bad as men
00:23:38.400 though some women are actually demons like yeah evil pure evil yeah tell me who are you thinking
00:23:44.800 of what story no i've just like seen how like some women treat men and like you know um some women
00:23:53.200 can be very narcissistic i think social media especially has like become a breeding ground for
00:23:59.280 narcissism and a lot of people but i do also think the term's thrown around very loosely
00:24:04.160 and a lot of people are accused of being a narcissist when they're actually not no but what
00:24:07.840 what girl you said you could think of a narcissistic girl's or story give us the tea yeah um i mean i
00:24:16.480 could use like my i don't know like i don't know any narcissistic women but i've like heard stories
00:24:22.800 oh you've heard stories i've heard lots of stories and it's it's actually like heartbreaking because a lot
00:24:27.200 of the time these men really care for these women unless they're trapped in this abusive relationship you know
00:24:31.920 what a lot of girls trap guys by getting pregnant they do but at the same time and they have all
00:24:37.760 this baby mom and dad but it's like it's mad no but you know what it is yeah when it comes to like
00:24:41.920 trapping a man with a baby you need to be careful who you sleep with if you're sleeping with people
00:24:46.240 loosely and you you run the risk of getting that person pregnant so you have to you have to sit like
00:24:52.160 you dug your grave remember we said earlier about if you you only go into place with that person you
00:24:57.680 don't know if you want to be with them and you get into place because of trust and then you'd only
00:25:01.200 sleep with that person if you're like don't mean that yeah at the same time at the same time if you
00:25:05.680 don't want a baby then you need to wrap up because yeah yeah as much as it takes two to tango you need
00:25:10.880 to protect yourself for your own good like yeah yeah the woman can say she's on the pill she's on this
00:25:15.360 she's on that but like at the same time protect yourself you know you said you've you've heard of a
00:25:20.800 girl trapping a guy tell me about that um we're just baiting people's business obviously someone
00:25:30.560 in the music industry about who it is you can if you want uh yeah be careful babe be careful but
00:25:37.680 but what i'm gonna say obviously um yeah he was obviously dating i think this like girl only fans
00:25:45.920 goal and um yeah and then obviously his energy kind of switched right and she was quite um
00:25:55.120 toxic i know she's toxic because she used to i heard from other girls that she used to block she's to go
00:26:00.080 on his phone and block certain goals oh wow and um used to go and she'd go through people's like
00:26:05.440 insta stories and stuff and who he follows that makes sense yeah that makes sense yeah and then
00:26:11.760 afterwards um obviously who knows how she got pregnant yeah and then but obviously again it was
00:26:20.240 it was it wasn't serious he was doing it mainly for pleasure because of her body right she's got a
00:26:25.680 nice body okay cool what else can you bring to the table you know we've got beautiful lady panelists
00:26:30.640 and tonight we've all got body body yoddy yeah but we you know i mean but we've got more than that
00:26:34.960 hence why we're here today that's what i'm trying to say but obviously in the in that case of obviously
00:26:40.720 trapping him it's crazy because now it's messed up his career a little bit he obviously didn't want
00:26:45.680 it he did not really taking responsibility and he's kind of like hiding away from everyone almost
00:26:50.800 and obviously that can impact the man mentally as well and i think a lot of people don't focus on a
00:26:55.600 man's mental health as well and i think females are all like oh we're emotional and we've got feelings
00:27:00.960 but obviously men are taught to obviously keep that away but but also what i would say is like once a
00:27:06.880 woman like when a woman actually falls pregnant it's a very very very difficult decision to make
00:27:12.560 whether to keep it or to get rid of it like when you fall pregnant how do you fall pregnant
00:27:19.120 yeah it's a it's an actual baby i mean you might tell yourself oh i don't want a baby and then you
00:27:37.120 fall pregnant and you're like oh like what have i done yeah what have i done like i actually want
00:27:42.160 to keep this baby now or i'm gonna that's what i feel like a lot of people do you guys don't think
00:27:45.840 about the consequences of your actions you're always relying on i feel like this generation
00:27:49.440 likes so much awareness yeah are you present are you aware of like what you're doing and the
00:27:55.920 consequences but our generation i would say mostly yeah this generation i would say mostly women yeah
00:28:00.240 so we go back to what you said women i would say women use abortion as a form i would say we use it as
00:28:04.720 a form of birth control which is not good which is not good by the way i i mean i know people might
00:28:10.560 have different um views but i say that's not good that's horrible yeah i think if you don't want to
00:28:16.240 get pregnant then you need to like take the precautions to not get pregnant obviously if
00:28:20.560 you need to have an abortion then like you get an abortion because there's women out there that
00:28:26.880 can't have children and then if you get a lot of abortions that can actually stop you from having
00:28:30.080 kids in the future that is very true that is very true because i took the pill so many times i now
00:28:36.000 suffer from polycystic ovarian syndrome so it's hard for me to actually get pregnant um unfortunately
00:28:42.240 i haven't seen my period for four years but recently i got my period through some prophet that prayed
00:28:46.560 for me and yeah i'm delivered guys miracle wait so from like from what did you get it from the pill
00:28:52.480 like um like do you mean the morning after pill or the the morning after pill yeah i took that too
00:28:57.280 many times and i also went on the pill how many times did you take it oh i think like six seven times
00:29:04.640 six seven times within the span of how long um within oh maybe like a month six seven in a month
00:29:12.960 wow yeah and did you know that was a possible side effect no i didn't and how did you find out
00:29:18.160 that you had that this was actually well what the polycystic ovarian syndrome when i was in a
00:29:22.800 relationship with my toxic ex because i noticed that he would obviously inside of me and then i would
00:29:29.200 notice that i wasn't like getting pregnant and i was gaining so much weight really quickly
00:29:34.400 and um i started growing excess excess hair in certain places so those are all the side
00:29:40.240 effects of getting um polycystic ovarian syndromes and then i went to the doctors found out i had it
00:29:45.520 and yeah that's what happened what was that like for you it was scary because i love kids i'm i am a
00:29:52.640 child myself you know like i love laughs i love playing i love to just be me everywhere so kids was a big
00:29:59.440 factor for me but i knew that in due time things will work out in my favor and i will get the kids
00:30:05.280 that i want it's not impossible not to have kids but it's harder 10 times do you wish they told you
00:30:11.360 about that um before you before i took yes thousand percent yeah that's um thousand percent because
00:30:16.720 i feel like a lot of girls really don't know about the side effects they don't discuss them the doctors
00:30:20.960 don't tell you i've never really been on it because when i heard about birth control i was like you're
00:30:24.880 gonna stop me from getting pregnant yeah yeah education i want education in that aspect when
00:30:31.120 it comes to contraception methods it's not that good the teacher a little bit at school but not
00:30:35.760 completely like the full full deal but even when you go and like get it prescribed the doctor don't
00:30:40.000 really tell you nothing and you know what there's so many women that go on contraception and then they
00:30:44.400 can't they struggle to get pregnant afterwards like they're like oh your fertility goes back to normal
00:30:48.640 straight away and it doesn't and some people are trying for a baby and three years down the line they still
00:30:53.360 can't have a child because they've been everyone's body is different as well everyone's body works
00:30:57.360 differently yeah yeah yeah it's hard do you guys believe that the label toxic is overused in
00:31:04.080 relationships today yes yeah i mean look at me like what 10 minutes ago i was like yeah
00:31:13.280 like come on now like really and then hearing them stories that you know there's different like i said
00:31:17.040 there's different um heights of toxic as many of you know i was just banned on tick tock and we are
00:31:23.040 demonetized on a daily basis on this platform if you want to help please consider sending a super
00:31:30.160 thanks below every donation helps and it helps make what we do possible