JustPearlyThings - April 24, 2023


They all got shocked when Pearl said this


Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

198.67549

Word count

1,990

Sentence count

211

Harmful content

Misogyny

16

sentences flagged

Hate speech

13

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss the difference between love and duty in a relationship and how to balance the two when it comes to a marriage. We talk about our own version of love and how we define it and how it relates to our definition of love.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Do you think that marriage is about love or about duty?
00:00:05.120 I think it's a bit of both.
00:00:07.380 I was just going to say that.
00:00:09.140 I don't know.
00:00:10.340 Personally, I think more love.
00:00:13.540 But it depends what you define what love is.
00:00:17.600 Love isn't, for me, isn't necessarily just a feeling.
00:00:21.520 Love is multiple things.
00:00:24.900 Do you know what I mean?
00:00:25.540 It's not that you're not going to have butterflies all the time.
00:00:29.040 You're not going to be infatuated with that person all the time.
00:00:32.140 It's like the same way that you love your family.
00:00:34.680 They're probably the most people that you have arguments with that you can't
00:00:37.380 stand most of the time, but you love them.
00:00:40.020 You're going to ride for them.
00:00:41.060 Like no matter what they do, you're always going to be there for them.
00:00:44.400 So which one would you pick?
00:00:45.380 Love or duty more?
00:00:47.280 Love or duty?
00:00:47.940 Your version of love or duty more?
00:00:50.860 My version of love, because I feel like duty comes in with that.
00:00:54.360 I think generally everybody has their own definition.
00:00:59.040 Of love, but individually, everybody has their own definition of love.
00:01:03.380 You know what I mean?
00:01:04.220 And we can't judge when it comes to that.
00:01:07.640 I think marriage is 100% duty.
00:01:09.660 No love.
00:01:10.460 Duty.
00:01:10.900 Really?
00:01:11.300 No love.
00:01:12.120 Yeah, I think it's about, it's a duty.
00:01:13.480 It's about commitment.
00:01:14.340 Otherwise, love is relationships.
00:01:15.580 Yeah, but isn't commitment love though?
00:01:17.320 Fucks. 0.99
00:01:18.320 I think that marriage is commitment, love, partially.
00:01:23.900 Yeah, I would say yes.
00:01:25.280 But I think when it comes down to it, what's the difference between a relationship and a
00:01:28.580 marriage?
00:01:29.240 I would say duty.
00:01:30.660 Entirement.
00:01:31.420 Duty.
00:01:32.160 A piece of paper, a contract.
00:01:34.420 I love when you said commitment though, because think about an athlete.
00:01:38.580 Like, it's duty, but it's love, it's passion, it's all of that in one.
00:01:43.260 But it's kind of like one though, don't you think?
00:01:45.160 It's all of that in one, that's what I'm saying.
00:01:46.680 It's almost like it's your role to show your woman love, the respect, and you know, as
00:01:51.620 a man, you should be, you know, front line and make sure that you provide for your family
00:01:57.020 and, you know, all the extra, do you know what I mean?
00:01:59.220 So, I think it's a bit of both.
00:02:01.220 Yeah.
00:02:01.840 Would you marry someone that you didn't love?
00:02:04.040 No.
00:02:05.500 Would I marry someone I didn't love?
00:02:07.680 I used to say I wanted an arranged marriage.
00:02:11.580 Honestly.
00:02:12.140 I've said that.
00:02:12.960 Honestly.
00:02:13.460 I've actually said that.
00:02:14.180 Did you?
00:02:14.920 Oh my God.
00:02:15.460 No way.
00:02:15.920 How does women picking the guys we love work out for us? 1.00
00:02:21.180 Not well.
00:02:22.480 Not well.
00:02:23.680 Come on.
00:02:24.100 But I think that is literally because of how we think love should be compared to what it
00:02:31.440 actually is.
00:02:33.280 Do you know, okay, so the first two or three years, obviously you're in the honeymoon
00:02:37.600 period and actually there's neurotransmitters like chemicals in the brain that are activated
00:02:43.220 in that period and they do wear off.
00:02:46.740 So, like, the in love lust feeling does wear off.
00:02:50.460 And then obviously it turns into a more attachment, fondness, caring, duty, probably.
00:02:56.320 And so you do have to be committed to that type of love rather than always chasing that
00:03:01.180 honeymoon period.
00:03:02.000 Yeah, but this is why, this is why, sorry to cut you, but this is why I say, yeah, like
00:03:07.620 marriage and love in general is work.
00:03:10.100 You can't expect the butterflies, you can't expect to be like, oh my God, like, you know,
00:03:15.520 I want to rip her clothes off. 1.00
00:03:17.020 Like, you know, you see, it's not like that.
00:03:19.240 Let's be real.
00:03:19.660 You get comfortable.
00:03:20.300 Before you get to that position, that's in a situation where you are like so used to
00:03:25.760 each other that you don't actually make enough effort for each other.
00:03:29.160 And it's all about making effort and making, you know, like a routine.
00:03:32.980 Babe, let's go out every other week or let's book this.
00:03:36.020 And you've got to make the effort.
00:03:37.420 Otherwise, that light, that spark that you had the first time, that would just, you know,
00:03:42.420 it will go off.
00:03:43.260 You need to light that spark all the time and keep it lit.
00:03:45.240 Like a lot of people nowadays don't accept that the person that you're with and yourself
00:03:52.660 is going to change and people don't accept the change.
00:03:57.880 Like I'm not the same person I was a year ago, two years ago, 10 years ago.
00:04:03.060 Like I'm not, like in a relationship, people always refer back to, oh, you're not the same
00:04:07.600 person that I met.
00:04:08.520 Well, yeah.
00:04:09.360 And I'm glad that I'm not because I'm human.
00:04:12.080 I'm growing every day.
00:04:12.940 I learn new things.
00:04:13.860 There's no way that I'm going to stay the same.
00:04:17.860 Would you, would you think, so then.
00:04:19.400 That's the fault on both parties though, because you guys supposed to be growing together.
00:04:22.840 Exactly.
00:04:23.400 Yeah.
00:04:23.420 But then you see that whole, you see the, the, the saying of, oh, we grew apart.
00:04:28.640 Is that what you're trying to say?
00:04:29.740 I think women just say that for a reason to leave. 1.00
00:04:33.140 You know what?
00:04:34.140 I thought that as, you don't ever hear a man saying we grew apart.
00:04:37.700 Yeah.
00:04:38.540 Richie.
00:04:39.140 You don't ever hear a man saying that.
00:04:40.520 I also think this shit about, oh, the sparks, da, da, da, da.
00:04:43.480 People used to have arranged marriages.
00:04:46.440 Yeah.
00:04:47.000 They still do.
00:04:47.920 Some people still do.
00:04:49.020 And they worked out better than women picking for ourselves. 1.00
00:04:53.800 Yeah.
00:04:54.300 So, so if it was about love, sparks, all that, why isn't it working?
00:05:00.480 The thing is at the time when arranged marriages were more common, you also couldn't get divorced
00:05:06.020 very easily.
00:05:07.340 See, we don't know.
00:05:08.480 I think we should go back to that.
00:05:10.400 Divorce should be illegal. 0.99
00:05:13.980 Yo, this is a trend.
00:05:15.620 That would be tricky.
00:05:16.660 So what if the husband's beating the wife? 0.71
00:05:19.120 See, as women, we always go to the extreme. 0.93
00:05:21.580 Why do we got to bring up the 1%, 2%? 0.85
00:05:24.560 Well, I've been in two domestic violence relationships.
00:05:26.680 So, so, so, so, so, did, did you, did you press charges with the police?
00:05:29.580 No, of course not.
00:05:30.360 Okay, so how do I know that's true?
00:05:32.400 Mm-hmm.
00:05:35.200 Hmm?
00:05:35.740 How do I know that's true?
00:05:37.560 Because I'm saying that it happened.
00:05:39.420 Yeah, but so.
00:05:39.860 I don't get it.
00:05:40.360 No, but I'm saying, because women always come on here and they'll say that, but it's 0.98
00:05:43.440 like, I don't know if that's true.
00:05:45.000 Why would somebody say that?
00:05:46.780 For the fun of it.
00:05:48.000 Why?
00:05:48.760 Yeah.
00:05:49.460 Because women lie all the time about abuse. 1.00
00:05:52.240 I don't know you personally.
00:05:53.820 I don't, I hope you're not, but.
00:05:55.240 Interesting.
00:05:55.560 No, I definitely wouldn't.
00:05:58.000 No.
00:05:59.340 And I hear where you're coming from.
00:06:01.740 I understand that there are women that put men in very difficult situations, which is
00:06:07.220 not right and I don't agree with.
00:06:09.080 And you are absolutely right.
00:06:10.600 You don't know me, don't know me from Adam.
00:06:12.900 But I definitely wouldn't come on here and say that when it's not true.
00:06:18.420 Well, it just, I just get confused.
00:06:19.860 Like genuinely, I don't really understand when girls come on the podcast, but they didn't 1.00
00:06:23.200 go to the police.
00:06:23.980 Like it doesn't compute to me.
00:06:25.920 Because it's like, if you're, if you're brave.
00:06:27.480 It's the loyalty.
00:06:28.160 It's the loyalty side of things.
00:06:29.420 For me, I'm loyal to the bone.
00:06:31.600 Right.
00:06:31.760 If you're in something, it's like, and it also depends on the type of person that you're
00:06:36.620 with and the situation and the, and yeah, all that kind of stuff.
00:06:40.300 There's so many different factors to it.
00:06:41.880 Do people know who you've dated?
00:06:43.240 Like, do people know this guy, like who you've dated?
00:06:45.900 These guys that did that?
00:06:46.960 Yeah.
00:06:47.440 But so it's like, you're coming on here.
00:06:49.420 How is it loyal if you're coming on here?
00:06:50.920 Everyone knows who they are.
00:06:51.640 Because it was like over 10 years ago.
00:06:53.480 I would never mention names.
00:06:54.660 I would never, it was a point that I was trying to prove in regards to marriage should be illegal.
00:07:01.060 So yeah, marriage should be illegal. 1.00
00:07:03.180 Divorce.
00:07:04.100 Divorce.
00:07:04.500 Divorce.
00:07:04.540 That's what I mean.
00:07:05.020 Sorry.
00:07:05.340 Yeah.
00:07:05.540 Sorry.
00:07:05.880 Sorry.
00:07:06.280 Sorry.
00:07:07.240 Divorce should be illegal. 0.99
00:07:08.900 And that was just a point that I was bringing, bringing to the table.
00:07:11.460 Yeah.
00:07:11.640 I'll give the abused girls out. 1.00
00:07:13.780 I'll give them an out.
00:07:14.720 Okay.
00:07:15.200 I'll give them an out.
00:07:15.920 Yeah.
00:07:16.060 That was the only point that I was bringing.
00:07:17.360 But I am very skeptical when women say they were abused and they didn't go to the police.
00:07:21.860 Just in general.
00:07:22.740 There's so many.
00:07:23.380 I just.
00:07:23.720 There's so many different factors.
00:07:27.280 And if you've not been through it, you would never understand it.
00:07:29.180 I wouldn't expect it.
00:07:29.440 Well, to me, it's like if you're in two different situations where you were abused in both, like
00:07:33.700 my mind goes, well, did you hit him first?
00:07:36.080 Yeah.
00:07:36.280 No, that's true.
00:07:37.440 It's a pattern, right?
00:07:39.740 What pattern?
00:07:40.820 It's a pattern.
00:07:41.380 I've been in a relationship like that where it's aggressive, very aggressive.
00:07:45.300 Well, and that's the thing.
00:07:46.120 Like a lot of times, like women will say I was abused, but like they're hitting too. 0.92
00:07:48.900 Do you know?
00:07:49.260 So then that's just an aggressive relationship.
00:07:50.980 That's very true.
00:07:52.100 What I think about is that.
00:07:53.140 It is true.
00:07:53.700 It is true.
00:07:54.960 Our grandparents, our great-grandparents, our great-great-grandparents, I feel like
00:07:58.240 they've been all through it.
00:08:00.720 And we hear about marriages over 20-some years, 30-some years, 40-some years, and they
00:08:05.900 all have been through it.
00:08:06.540 So what's our excuse when it comes to life?
00:08:08.360 But this is what I'm saying.
00:08:09.280 You've got to grow through what you go through.
00:08:11.740 And love is work.
00:08:13.060 It's not something you just be like, oh, I'm going to have this feeling for the rest
00:08:16.040 of my life.
00:08:16.940 You know, it's work.
00:08:17.980 It's not easy.
00:08:18.680 Are you saying that they went through domestic violence or just marriage?
00:08:21.820 I feel like it could be possible, but there's reason.
00:08:24.160 Why people stay is because I don't think that we understand love like they do.
00:08:29.140 No, it's just, that's facts.
00:08:30.640 I mean, I believe that.
00:08:32.820 But that's why I think divorce should be illegal. 1.00
00:08:35.340 Okay, now hear me out.
00:08:36.260 Because what's the point of getting married if you believe in divorce?
00:08:39.820 It's true.
00:08:40.240 Just be in a relationship.
00:08:41.400 That's why men aren't getting married. 1.00
00:08:42.460 That's true.
00:08:42.820 Because it's like, we all believe in getting divorced for X, Y, Z.
00:08:45.740 You know, I'll give you abuse. 1.00
00:08:48.780 You can leave for abuse.
00:08:51.000 You're, yeah, you're welcome.
00:08:52.200 You can't be in, leave.
00:08:53.260 You can't, however, my only caveat is if you hit also, it doesn't count.
00:08:58.600 Yeah, no, I agree.
00:08:59.080 It's omitted.
00:09:00.540 I agree.
00:09:01.060 It doesn't count.
00:09:02.280 Shay, what was wrong?
00:09:04.160 And if he turns into a she, he does the he, she thing. 1.00
00:09:08.220 What do you mean?
00:09:08.660 You know, when like the trans thing, when he becomes a woman or she becomes, they start 1.00
00:09:13.420 cutting their parts off.
00:09:14.400 I feel like they can get out.
00:09:16.000 I'll give you a get out of marriage. 0.89
00:09:17.400 Oh, as in if you're married and then they start adding bits.
00:09:20.900 Yeah.
00:09:21.380 Yeah.
00:09:21.760 Like if you got married and you became a man, I think that wouldn't really be fair to the 0.97
00:09:27.360 other party.
00:09:28.500 I didn't know when it was going for a second.
00:09:30.420 I was like, whoa.
00:09:30.920 You know, so because at the end of the day, I feel like the people that don't believe
00:09:36.360 in divorce, we should get married and not believe in getting out.
00:09:39.840 And the people that believe in divorce, you guys can just stay in the relationships and
00:09:44.540 go.
00:09:44.700 As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on
00:09:51.340 this platform.
00:09:52.680 If you want to help, please consider sending a super thanks below.
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