They all got shocked when Pearl said this
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
198.67549
Summary
In this episode, we discuss the difference between love and duty in a relationship and how to balance the two when it comes to a marriage. We talk about our own version of love and how we define it and how it relates to our definition of love.
Transcript
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Do you think that marriage is about love or about duty?
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Love isn't, for me, isn't necessarily just a feeling.
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It's not that you're not going to have butterflies all the time.
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You're not going to be infatuated with that person all the time.
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It's like the same way that you love your family.
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They're probably the most people that you have arguments with that you can't
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Like no matter what they do, you're always going to be there for them.
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My version of love, because I feel like duty comes in with that.
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I think generally everybody has their own definition.
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Of love, but individually, everybody has their own definition of love.
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I think that marriage is commitment, love, partially.
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But I think when it comes down to it, what's the difference between a relationship and a
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I love when you said commitment though, because think about an athlete.
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Like, it's duty, but it's love, it's passion, it's all of that in one.
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But it's kind of like one though, don't you think?
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It's all of that in one, that's what I'm saying.
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It's almost like it's your role to show your woman love, the respect, and you know, as
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a man, you should be, you know, front line and make sure that you provide for your family
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and, you know, all the extra, do you know what I mean?
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How does women picking the guys we love work out for us?
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But I think that is literally because of how we think love should be compared to what it
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Do you know, okay, so the first two or three years, obviously you're in the honeymoon
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period and actually there's neurotransmitters like chemicals in the brain that are activated
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So, like, the in love lust feeling does wear off.
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And then obviously it turns into a more attachment, fondness, caring, duty, probably.
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And so you do have to be committed to that type of love rather than always chasing that
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Yeah, but this is why, this is why, sorry to cut you, but this is why I say, yeah, like
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You can't expect the butterflies, you can't expect to be like, oh my God, like, you know,
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Before you get to that position, that's in a situation where you are like so used to
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each other that you don't actually make enough effort for each other.
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And it's all about making effort and making, you know, like a routine.
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Babe, let's go out every other week or let's book this.
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Otherwise, that light, that spark that you had the first time, that would just, you know,
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You need to light that spark all the time and keep it lit.
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Like a lot of people nowadays don't accept that the person that you're with and yourself
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is going to change and people don't accept the change.
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Like I'm not the same person I was a year ago, two years ago, 10 years ago.
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Like I'm not, like in a relationship, people always refer back to, oh, you're not the same
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There's no way that I'm going to stay the same.
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That's the fault on both parties though, because you guys supposed to be growing together.
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But then you see that whole, you see the, the, the saying of, oh, we grew apart.
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I think women just say that for a reason to leave.
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I thought that as, you don't ever hear a man saying we grew apart.
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I also think this shit about, oh, the sparks, da, da, da, da.
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And they worked out better than women picking for ourselves.
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So, so if it was about love, sparks, all that, why isn't it working?
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The thing is at the time when arranged marriages were more common, you also couldn't get divorced
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Well, I've been in two domestic violence relationships.
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So, so, so, so, so, did, did you, did you press charges with the police?
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No, but I'm saying, because women always come on here and they'll say that, but it's
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I understand that there are women that put men in very difficult situations, which is
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But I definitely wouldn't come on here and say that when it's not true.
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Like genuinely, I don't really understand when girls come on the podcast, but they didn't
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If you're in something, it's like, and it also depends on the type of person that you're
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with and the situation and the, and yeah, all that kind of stuff.
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Like, do people know this guy, like who you've dated?
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I would never, it was a point that I was trying to prove in regards to marriage should be illegal.
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And that was just a point that I was bringing, bringing to the table.
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But I am very skeptical when women say they were abused and they didn't go to the police.
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And if you've not been through it, you would never understand it.
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Well, to me, it's like if you're in two different situations where you were abused in both, like
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I've been in a relationship like that where it's aggressive, very aggressive.
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Like a lot of times, like women will say I was abused, but like they're hitting too.
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So then that's just an aggressive relationship.
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Our grandparents, our great-grandparents, our great-great-grandparents, I feel like
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And we hear about marriages over 20-some years, 30-some years, 40-some years, and they
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You've got to grow through what you go through.
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It's not something you just be like, oh, I'm going to have this feeling for the rest
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Are you saying that they went through domestic violence or just marriage?
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I feel like it could be possible, but there's reason.
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Why people stay is because I don't think that we understand love like they do.
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But that's why I think divorce should be illegal.
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Because what's the point of getting married if you believe in divorce?
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Because it's like, we all believe in getting divorced for X, Y, Z.
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You can't, however, my only caveat is if you hit also, it doesn't count.
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And if he turns into a she, he does the he, she thing.
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You know, when like the trans thing, when he becomes a woman or she becomes, they start
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Oh, as in if you're married and then they start adding bits.
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Like if you got married and you became a man, I think that wouldn't really be fair to the
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You know, so because at the end of the day, I feel like the people that don't believe
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in divorce, we should get married and not believe in getting out.
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And the people that believe in divorce, you guys can just stay in the relationships and
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As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on
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