JustPearlyThings - April 09, 2023


They All Got TRIGGERED When He Said This


Episode Stats

Length

11 minutes

Words per Minute

209.59227

Word Count

2,488

Sentence Count

2

Misogynist Sentences

23

Hate Speech Sentences

11


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 do you know what though i think i think in regards to the question about expecting monogamy when
00:00:04.300 you've had a child i would say universally if a woman hasn't helped me attain my high value status
00:00:11.220 then she can't expect monogamy from me if i do it's not about morals it's just if she hasn't
00:00:19.900 contributed to me i'm not i don't because you have to remember and i always say this like
00:00:23.420 women are born of value whilst men have to create their value so if i've had to work hard and strive
00:00:28.020 and do what i need to do to attain a certain world you're buying into that lifestyle having done
00:00:32.560 nothing so the only thing you can give to me is probably kids and whatnot and again if i want
00:00:37.340 to give you monogamy i can but you can't expect it from me because you haven't done anything to
00:00:42.120 to warrant the lifestyle but when when you're 20 and or 21 or whatever and you start building
00:00:46.680 would you want to get into a serious relationship really a lot of men and i said this on the show
00:00:53.300 as well it there's context for guys who are in the late 20s building their foundation to or set
00:00:59.600 their foundations they want someone to contribute to their lifestyle it just so happens that with
00:01:03.700 modern women that you're looking for a guy who's already made obviously if you're going for a guy
00:01:08.420 who's 21 22 23 you should expect a young boy's mentality so i have a question for you go on would
00:01:14.280 you keep that same mindset for a woman who hasn't helped you contribute hasn't helped contribute
00:01:18.960 oh sorry do you have the same mindset for a lady who hasn't helped to contribute to get you to
00:01:25.980 where the level you're at now um but she doesn't have a child yeah you have the same mindset yeah he
00:01:33.580 said that in general he's not talking about you having kids because pearly was asking about
00:01:37.760 i mean the point the point is that men like are compromising on their mating strategy but not
00:01:44.580 getting their mating strategy fulfilled in return and what is that so their their mating strategy
00:01:49.700 is they don't want to pass on resources to another man's kid like that's why that's why
00:01:53.880 they're repulsed by hoes that's why they're they're repulsed by like other people's children
00:01:57.900 it's like a natural so so women want to lock down and get commitment from the highest value guy they
00:02:04.440 can where men they want purity and youth and they want to know that the kids are theirs so they get
00:02:10.040 neither and we get what we want so are you in a relationship and anybody that you get with from
00:02:14.940 now are you going to be faithful to i don't i haven't i'm close i hit high value status in it so i'm
00:02:20.120 still in the very i'm still very much in my building but yeah you're still if i met someone now and i'm
00:02:24.320 able to build to attain that level then you deserve exclusive can i ask you a question go on
00:02:29.460 okay the goal was intense but let's say let's let's say you were someone who was willing to date
00:02:36.720 someone who had a child and you're in your growing your building status and she was happy
00:02:43.460 and willing to build with you would you be faithful to her so i've accepted a woman for a kid yeah
00:02:51.460 obviously in the normal circumstances that wouldn't happen anyway but if it did and you know what let
00:02:57.240 me just say i i think never say never type thing yeah but i think what what what plays into my idea
00:03:02.900 with that is again it's the fact i'm nigerian and i know that would be even but you know it's so funny
00:03:07.020 you say that yeah but in in nigeria nigerian men in nigeria accept girls with kids more than here
00:03:13.000 my parents are on smoke okay i know for a fact oh does it come from like a cultural thing so so what
00:03:18.540 i've what from my own experience most mothers wouldn't want yeah so for my experience as a single
00:03:25.240 mother right i get more smoke here than i get in nigeria really and i think and i think a big part
00:03:31.140 of that a big part of that is because back back in nigeria uh a man who who took on another woman's
00:03:39.080 child that wasn't his he gets a lot of honor and respect for that whereas that doesn't happen yeah
00:03:44.880 yeah yeah probably like back in the day it used to happen but because it's almost like oh wow he's the
00:03:49.700 man who not only is he supplying for his own kids but for someone else's there came a lot of respect
00:03:54.600 for that so i think it was more regarded in high regard but it's not regarded like that today like
00:03:58.900 in nigeria you can say that i'll be like oh i've got kids the only thing daily joke though they make
00:04:02.680 in nigeria is like you know you london kids like london girls like to have kids quickly that is it
00:04:06.840 yeah but they don't they don't say like oh you're less of a woman but they even find women with kids
00:04:13.500 a lot more serious it's literally the total opposite i think that's that very that's modern i don't
00:04:19.800 think that's no my mom and aunties and stuff like that's not oh yeah it's not a traditional
00:04:25.260 thing yeah yeah it's not a traditional thing yeah yeah yeah so yeah that's still frowned upon like
00:04:29.820 my mom will very much say a lot of the responsibility if the if the family doesn't go well a lot of the
00:04:34.400 responsibility falls on the woman like it's the woman's fault if anything goes wrong what if the
00:04:38.340 marriage didn't work if the marriage didn't work my mom would say if one of the reasons she's scared
00:04:42.420 that anything would happen in the marriage obviously everything is good but if it was
00:04:45.620 she would say the problem falls on the woman that's very still very much so the case like
00:04:50.440 obviously modern day women now you know so mad i i agree with you i i as much as is is um a hard
00:04:57.520 pill to swallow the majority of the marriages that don't last is because of the woman not like she
00:05:04.260 was the problem but she just wasn't willing to shoulder the blame no she was just not willing to
00:05:10.580 continue because like if if if i was to sit here and start dissecting my marriage you'd be like but
00:05:16.580 you could have worked it through it do you know i mean like yeah yeah but and this is why i say that
00:05:22.120 if someone if you if you one of the issues or the mistakes i made i didn't date a bad boy i'm not
00:05:29.520 interested in bad boys i was it wasn't a thing for me i i dated a quiet i was married to a quiet guy
00:05:34.360 but what i didn't pay attention to and that was lack of knowledge is attributes mannerisms how you're
00:05:41.780 raised family values all of that those were my problems it wasn't oh he was cheating or um you
00:05:48.660 know he he was we just did i was just fed up it was that our values didn't work together so that's
00:05:56.120 why it's my fault because you could turn around and say that why didn't you pick up those things but
00:06:00.380 i wasn't wise enough to pick up on those things can i can ask did you leave sorry yes you you left
00:06:06.720 sorry yeah okay first yeah would you ever get back with him no and you know it's so mad yeah you
00:06:12.720 remember the last time we came you said i don't uh you don't remember i do so many shows okay so in
00:06:19.020 a figure of speech but when the last time we came you said that um part of a marriage um as a woman
00:06:24.380 you're meant to for your kids you're meant to stay in a marriage but i remember i said it i said the
00:06:28.480 main reason why i left was because of my kids because when you look at my kids now they're a lot
00:06:33.320 calmer the teachers don't complain about them when i was the teachers used to complain a lot about
00:06:38.960 my children's behavior just them being unsettled just being but as soon as i facilitated structure
00:06:44.980 they're fine was that because you and your your husband were showing the troubles in your
00:06:49.660 relationship to your this was even after we broke up and he had access to the kids okay as soon
00:06:54.800 as that access was no longer there they were a lot more settled i but don't get me wrong i i am so
00:07:01.260 scared raising my boys because i'm a woman do you know i mean so like even little things like when my
00:07:07.980 son comes upstairs and he's crying even though i want to hug him because i don't want to make the
00:07:14.400 mistakes i believe some parents have made on their sons i have to be stern do you know i mean and i i get
00:07:20.360 scared that am i confusing this boy that he need a woman is meant to be aggressive i respect that
00:07:25.640 because that's a difficult situation do you get what i'm saying it's like how do you teach him
00:07:30.700 because a lot of women don't even take that into account a lot of women just they do the
00:07:33.680 the motherly thing which is just to like cottage yeah i can't as well because when i have a second
00:07:40.000 question would you take him back if there was no other men on the planet no i would be on my own
00:07:46.240 i've started to even though i don't like it and i'm praying to god it doesn't happen but i'm starting
00:07:51.220 to have that 10 that you may be on your own for a long time um do you think you'll have 2.5 million
00:07:58.640 saved up to retire i think by the time you're 60 yes if if that's what i wanted i will have what i
00:08:04.840 want okay i bet yeah i i one thing about me and anyone will tell you is i work hard i'm i am
00:08:10.940 a grinder well women like like because the thing is you're you're probably in a small percentage of
00:08:18.680 women that make that amount of money but a lot of women will be homeless in that position yeah and i
00:08:23.340 don't think they're really educated about that because i mean i know there's like government
00:08:27.460 benefits here but you don't know tomorrow they could take them away yeah yeah you're relying on that
00:08:31.600 can i ask a question to the ladies in the room so did you want to do something oh no go ahead um it's a
00:08:38.840 different shift um obviously women earn their own money and they earn good money nowadays right so
00:08:45.120 women have almost in certain ways adopted the traditional masculine positions that men have
00:08:51.740 taken historically but then a lot of women will still say that they don't want to provide for a
00:08:58.420 man so it's almost like they've taken the position of a man but they don't want to take the responsibility
00:09:03.540 that comes with that position i just wonder why do you guys think that is or do you think that's
00:09:08.660 even a fair statement to say um i think i think it's go on no i think it's just again just like
00:09:15.540 subjective you know um i've been in a position where i supported my man for like two years
00:09:20.740 would you have been happy to do that if you stayed together like for the duration of your relationship
00:09:24.960 yeah if i had to for sure but like i think again there is that natural energy exchange that needs to
00:09:33.360 take place um obviously like i would probably have that conversation but like hey you know
00:09:40.820 but like why but what i'm trying to say is like if you're the person in the relationship who is earning
00:09:45.280 more right why would you have to be like okay we need to have a conversation about this why could you
00:09:49.780 just be like okay well i'm just going to be providing for the relationship for because i feel like
00:09:54.340 there's like an energy of like resentment that might come up and where and i guess what i'm asking is
00:09:58.740 where does that come from because i agree yeah um honestly i don't know um would you say it's
00:10:04.160 entitlement no did you still find that man attractive yes yeah yeah i think a woman can do it if she
00:10:11.960 thinks it's temporary yeah yeah and the thing is like we were we were building like together so i was
00:10:18.340 involved in the dream he was involved in the dream and we were building his dream you know and so i
00:10:24.220 supported that 100 so i could never say oh sorry go on i could never be the provider of my of my home
00:10:31.620 never i don't want to i think it's confusing for the children it's confusing for me
00:10:36.760 yeah no no i like that it's not my role oh it's like why is he not working is it is he staying home
00:10:43.760 and it's not that he's not working right but it's like let's say for example your chosen career
00:10:47.760 pass right you're earning 80k he's earning 30k right and you want to live a certain lifestyle but in
00:10:53.640 want to live that lifestyle like you have to be uh uh have the financial burden of let's say 90
00:10:59.620 of the relationship then that's fine because you want that lifestyle right like the woman wants the
00:11:05.520 life but you would be okay you'd like you'd be okay providing for him yeah if the woman wants the
00:11:11.860 lifestyle then you're gonna have to the woman's gonna have to uphold it otherwise she would have
00:11:16.800 to come down a level but she has to uphold it for herself and for him yeah so you know the way men
00:11:21.300 have traditionally brought women up to their lifestyle you're doing the same for your man
00:11:25.240 like but i feel like most women would not want to do that like you said like a lot of time if a
00:11:30.740 woman's here she's like i want a guy who's here or above hashtag hypergamy many of you know i was
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