They All Got TRIGGERED When He Said This
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
209.59227
Summary
In this episode, we discuss monogamy in the modern dating culture and what it means to be a young man in the 21st century. We discuss what monogamy means to modern women and why it is important for them to have kids.
Transcript
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do you know what though i think i think in regards to the question about expecting monogamy when
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you've had a child i would say universally if a woman hasn't helped me attain my high value status
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then she can't expect monogamy from me if i do it's not about morals it's just if she hasn't
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contributed to me i'm not i don't because you have to remember and i always say this like
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women are born of value whilst men have to create their value so if i've had to work hard and strive
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and do what i need to do to attain a certain world you're buying into that lifestyle having done
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nothing so the only thing you can give to me is probably kids and whatnot and again if i want
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to give you monogamy i can but you can't expect it from me because you haven't done anything to
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to warrant the lifestyle but when when you're 20 and or 21 or whatever and you start building
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would you want to get into a serious relationship really a lot of men and i said this on the show
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as well it there's context for guys who are in the late 20s building their foundation to or set
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their foundations they want someone to contribute to their lifestyle it just so happens that with
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modern women that you're looking for a guy who's already made obviously if you're going for a guy
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who's 21 22 23 you should expect a young boy's mentality so i have a question for you go on would
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you keep that same mindset for a woman who hasn't helped you contribute hasn't helped contribute
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oh sorry do you have the same mindset for a lady who hasn't helped to contribute to get you to
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where the level you're at now um but she doesn't have a child yeah you have the same mindset yeah he
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said that in general he's not talking about you having kids because pearly was asking about
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i mean the point the point is that men like are compromising on their mating strategy but not
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getting their mating strategy fulfilled in return and what is that so their their mating strategy
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is they don't want to pass on resources to another man's kid like that's why that's why
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they're repulsed by hoes that's why they're they're repulsed by like other people's children
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it's like a natural so so women want to lock down and get commitment from the highest value guy they
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can where men they want purity and youth and they want to know that the kids are theirs so they get
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neither and we get what we want so are you in a relationship and anybody that you get with from
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now are you going to be faithful to i don't i haven't i'm close i hit high value status in it so i'm
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still in the very i'm still very much in my building but yeah you're still if i met someone now and i'm
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able to build to attain that level then you deserve exclusive can i ask you a question go on
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okay the goal was intense but let's say let's let's say you were someone who was willing to date
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someone who had a child and you're in your growing your building status and she was happy
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and willing to build with you would you be faithful to her so i've accepted a woman for a kid yeah
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obviously in the normal circumstances that wouldn't happen anyway but if it did and you know what let
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me just say i i think never say never type thing yeah but i think what what what plays into my idea
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with that is again it's the fact i'm nigerian and i know that would be even but you know it's so funny
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you say that yeah but in in nigeria nigerian men in nigeria accept girls with kids more than here
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my parents are on smoke okay i know for a fact oh does it come from like a cultural thing so so what
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i've what from my own experience most mothers wouldn't want yeah so for my experience as a single
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mother right i get more smoke here than i get in nigeria really and i think and i think a big part
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of that a big part of that is because back back in nigeria uh a man who who took on another woman's
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child that wasn't his he gets a lot of honor and respect for that whereas that doesn't happen yeah
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yeah yeah probably like back in the day it used to happen but because it's almost like oh wow he's the
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man who not only is he supplying for his own kids but for someone else's there came a lot of respect
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for that so i think it was more regarded in high regard but it's not regarded like that today like
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in nigeria you can say that i'll be like oh i've got kids the only thing daily joke though they make
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in nigeria is like you know you london kids like london girls like to have kids quickly that is it
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yeah but they don't they don't say like oh you're less of a woman but they even find women with kids
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a lot more serious it's literally the total opposite i think that's that very that's modern i don't
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think that's no my mom and aunties and stuff like that's not oh yeah it's not a traditional
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thing yeah yeah it's not a traditional thing yeah yeah yeah so yeah that's still frowned upon like
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my mom will very much say a lot of the responsibility if the if the family doesn't go well a lot of the
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responsibility falls on the woman like it's the woman's fault if anything goes wrong what if the
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marriage didn't work if the marriage didn't work my mom would say if one of the reasons she's scared
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that anything would happen in the marriage obviously everything is good but if it was
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she would say the problem falls on the woman that's very still very much so the case like
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obviously modern day women now you know so mad i i agree with you i i as much as is is um a hard
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pill to swallow the majority of the marriages that don't last is because of the woman not like she
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was the problem but she just wasn't willing to shoulder the blame no she was just not willing to
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continue because like if if if i was to sit here and start dissecting my marriage you'd be like but
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you could have worked it through it do you know i mean like yeah yeah but and this is why i say that
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if someone if you if you one of the issues or the mistakes i made i didn't date a bad boy i'm not
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interested in bad boys i was it wasn't a thing for me i i dated a quiet i was married to a quiet guy
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but what i didn't pay attention to and that was lack of knowledge is attributes mannerisms how you're
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raised family values all of that those were my problems it wasn't oh he was cheating or um you
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know he he was we just did i was just fed up it was that our values didn't work together so that's
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why it's my fault because you could turn around and say that why didn't you pick up those things but
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i wasn't wise enough to pick up on those things can i can ask did you leave sorry yes you you left
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sorry yeah okay first yeah would you ever get back with him no and you know it's so mad yeah you
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remember the last time we came you said i don't uh you don't remember i do so many shows okay so in
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a figure of speech but when the last time we came you said that um part of a marriage um as a woman
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you're meant to for your kids you're meant to stay in a marriage but i remember i said it i said the
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main reason why i left was because of my kids because when you look at my kids now they're a lot
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calmer the teachers don't complain about them when i was the teachers used to complain a lot about
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my children's behavior just them being unsettled just being but as soon as i facilitated structure
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they're fine was that because you and your your husband were showing the troubles in your
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relationship to your this was even after we broke up and he had access to the kids okay as soon
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as that access was no longer there they were a lot more settled i but don't get me wrong i i am so
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scared raising my boys because i'm a woman do you know i mean so like even little things like when my
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son comes upstairs and he's crying even though i want to hug him because i don't want to make the
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mistakes i believe some parents have made on their sons i have to be stern do you know i mean and i i get
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scared that am i confusing this boy that he need a woman is meant to be aggressive i respect that
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because that's a difficult situation do you get what i'm saying it's like how do you teach him
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because a lot of women don't even take that into account a lot of women just they do the
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the motherly thing which is just to like cottage yeah i can't as well because when i have a second
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question would you take him back if there was no other men on the planet no i would be on my own
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i've started to even though i don't like it and i'm praying to god it doesn't happen but i'm starting
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to have that 10 that you may be on your own for a long time um do you think you'll have 2.5 million
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saved up to retire i think by the time you're 60 yes if if that's what i wanted i will have what i
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want okay i bet yeah i i one thing about me and anyone will tell you is i work hard i'm i am
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a grinder well women like like because the thing is you're you're probably in a small percentage of
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women that make that amount of money but a lot of women will be homeless in that position yeah and i
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don't think they're really educated about that because i mean i know there's like government
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benefits here but you don't know tomorrow they could take them away yeah yeah you're relying on that
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can i ask a question to the ladies in the room so did you want to do something oh no go ahead um it's a
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different shift um obviously women earn their own money and they earn good money nowadays right so
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women have almost in certain ways adopted the traditional masculine positions that men have
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taken historically but then a lot of women will still say that they don't want to provide for a
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man so it's almost like they've taken the position of a man but they don't want to take the responsibility
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that comes with that position i just wonder why do you guys think that is or do you think that's
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even a fair statement to say um i think i think it's go on no i think it's just again just like
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subjective you know um i've been in a position where i supported my man for like two years
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would you have been happy to do that if you stayed together like for the duration of your relationship
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yeah if i had to for sure but like i think again there is that natural energy exchange that needs to
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take place um obviously like i would probably have that conversation but like hey you know
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but like why but what i'm trying to say is like if you're the person in the relationship who is earning
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more right why would you have to be like okay we need to have a conversation about this why could you
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just be like okay well i'm just going to be providing for the relationship for because i feel like
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there's like an energy of like resentment that might come up and where and i guess what i'm asking is
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where does that come from because i agree yeah um honestly i don't know um would you say it's
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entitlement no did you still find that man attractive yes yeah yeah i think a woman can do it if she
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thinks it's temporary yeah yeah and the thing is like we were we were building like together so i was
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involved in the dream he was involved in the dream and we were building his dream you know and so i
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supported that 100 so i could never say oh sorry go on i could never be the provider of my of my home
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never i don't want to i think it's confusing for the children it's confusing for me
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yeah no no i like that it's not my role oh it's like why is he not working is it is he staying home
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and it's not that he's not working right but it's like let's say for example your chosen career
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pass right you're earning 80k he's earning 30k right and you want to live a certain lifestyle but in
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want to live that lifestyle like you have to be uh uh have the financial burden of let's say 90
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of the relationship then that's fine because you want that lifestyle right like the woman wants the
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life but you would be okay you'd like you'd be okay providing for him yeah if the woman wants the
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lifestyle then you're gonna have to the woman's gonna have to uphold it otherwise she would have
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to come down a level but she has to uphold it for herself and for him yeah so you know the way men
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have traditionally brought women up to their lifestyle you're doing the same for your man
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like but i feel like most women would not want to do that like you said like a lot of time if a
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woman's here she's like i want a guy who's here or above hashtag hypergamy many of you know i was
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