JustPearlyThings - July 25, 2023


They All Had This To Say About CHEATING


Episode Stats

Length

9 minutes

Words per Minute

198.49164

Word Count

1,816

Sentence Count

158

Misogynist Sentences

16

Hate Speech Sentences

11


Summary

Cheating in a relationship can be a tricky subject, especially when it comes from someone you care deeply for. In this episode, we discuss cheating and how to deal with it in a healthy way. Cheating is a deal breaker in many relationships and we discuss how to work through it.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Would you guys accept, would you guys try to work through cheating?
00:00:04.700 I think I'd be all right with cheating, honestly.
00:00:06.940 As long as I could film it for any fans.
00:00:08.940 If you could do it in front of me, that'd be fine.
00:00:10.400 Man or woman, I wouldn't mind.
00:00:11.380 Okay, go ahead.
00:00:12.360 If you asked me this about five years ago, I would have said, nah.
00:00:17.100 Now I would be, I'd have to think about something.
00:00:20.760 I couldn't make that dramatic, no.
00:00:23.100 Okay, you'd think about working through it.
00:00:24.760 I'd think about it if it was like, yeah, if it was the first time I'd have to think about that.
00:00:28.700 I can't like, just, it depends as well of how long we're in the relationship for, what we've got going on.
00:00:34.520 If it's something early, then I don't think he's taking me serious, really.
00:00:37.720 I think it's just a play-play thing.
00:00:39.340 I wouldn't.
00:00:40.220 What changed from five years ago to now?
00:00:42.940 I was young, mentally.
00:00:44.520 I wasn't thinking, I was thinking, oh, I'm the only one that you have to, yep, it's all about.
00:00:50.160 I wasn't looking into a man.
00:00:52.700 I didn't know what a man is.
00:00:54.300 I didn't know what men had to offer.
00:00:57.860 I didn't know, I was really young.
00:00:59.940 So my mentality was different.
00:01:02.200 Not saying, you know, there's so much about, there's so much around it.
00:01:05.840 There is so much around it and I can't just sit here and rant on about it forever.
00:01:09.500 But I do know that back then I would have been like, no.
00:01:13.660 But I think it's because I experienced it when I was younger and it put me in a very dark place.
00:01:18.280 I was very like, guard up.
00:01:19.680 If you cheat on me, I swear, I'm never going to deal with it.
00:01:23.960 What's stressful?
00:01:25.220 Like being on their phone all the time, trying to figure out what they're doing?
00:01:28.700 No, no, no.
00:01:31.200 What do you mean?
00:01:31.960 Like, I just find that like, if you're worried about cheating all the time, it's stressful.
00:01:37.700 Oh, I don't know about, no, I don't know.
00:01:40.000 I feel like going into a relationship without thinking about cheating is a bit more of a healthier.
00:01:44.920 If you're there thinking about it, then you shouldn't be in a relationship.
00:01:47.220 You're not ready.
00:01:47.880 Yeah, I agree.
00:01:48.500 You need to heal.
00:01:49.040 Yeah.
00:01:49.820 The healing.
00:01:50.720 Yes.
00:01:51.280 Love healing.
00:01:51.680 What he said, the healing.
00:01:52.820 We all need to heal.
00:01:53.600 No, yeah, yeah.
00:01:55.180 What about you?
00:01:55.940 Cheating?
00:01:56.960 Yes, we can talk through it.
00:01:58.360 Okay.
00:01:59.420 Yeah, I've already said, yeah, from earlier, I don't feel like that's a deal breaker within marriage.
00:02:05.060 I feel like it's something that you can work out as a couple.
00:02:07.420 Okay.
00:02:08.100 If it's sexual, then no.
00:02:10.180 I mean, like picture post and whatever.
00:02:11.800 But I feel like it's different for a woman to have sex.
00:02:14.040 Cheat in a marriage than it is for a man to cheat in a marriage.
00:02:16.540 I know it's going to sound so bad, but it is very different.
00:02:21.460 Someone said, actually, I'll read this later.
00:02:24.020 Go ahead.
00:02:25.420 Oh, I was intrigued to know.
00:02:31.420 Yeah, I think it's something that you can work through.
00:02:34.480 Have you ever worked through it?
00:02:36.340 Yes, I have.
00:02:37.140 Okay.
00:02:37.820 Do you feel like, were you able to let it go or did you still bring it up?
00:02:40.820 Um, I feel like if a guy's making you feel like inferior to that other woman or makes
00:02:53.360 you feel like, like no self-worth and stuff, then that's really wrong.
00:02:57.280 But then, like, if he does it in a way where he kind of just keeps that, like, to himself,
00:03:04.300 like, oh no, like, I don't know.
00:03:06.980 Like, when he starts to wreck the home, or say the woman becomes a home wrecker, the woman
00:03:10.940 that is, like, flirting with or whatever, and she starts phoning you and abusing you
00:03:16.440 and sort of, like, causing disruptions in the home, then I feel that that's, like, really,
00:03:21.560 really wrong.
00:03:22.220 But then, on the other hand, um, I don't know, I wouldn't say it's acceptable, but...
00:03:28.700 If it was a fling in Napa, then you'd be like, right.
00:03:32.440 It's never going to see that person again.
00:03:35.100 I still wouldn't really be happy about it.
00:03:36.860 No, no, no happy.
00:03:38.680 Yeah, I wouldn't be happy about it, but, however, um, I don't know, I think there's
00:03:46.840 levels, man.
00:03:47.920 There's definitely levels to it.
00:03:49.740 There's definitely levels.
00:03:53.000 Well, I've come to the understanding when it comes to cheating, when the male is cheating
00:03:58.360 anyway, is that there's a reason why the male has cheated, and it's most likely because
00:04:04.520 the female is lacking something within that relation.
00:04:08.760 So, it can be worked upon if they have that conversation or communicate that, and she
00:04:15.720 kind of fixes what she's lacking.
00:04:18.040 If she can't fix what she's lacking, then...
00:04:20.620 It's going to continue.
00:04:22.380 You know, he's going to continue to cheat, and then, obviously, that female is going to
00:04:25.680 feel hurt, or what the case may be.
00:04:27.500 So, would I work on it?
00:04:31.180 Um, if I was lacking something, I would.
00:04:34.920 If I wasn't lacking anything, and he was cheating for the sake of cheating, then no,
00:04:40.340 I will not work on it.
00:04:41.540 You think you're ever lacking nothing?
00:04:46.160 It's very personal.
00:04:47.580 I know I'm going to get drawn out for this, but I consider myself as a high-quality woman.
00:04:53.860 So, compared to a lot of females that's out there, I would see myself as high-quality
00:05:01.600 currently, today.
00:05:03.780 Right, but I said lacking nothing.
00:05:07.960 The things that I lack wouldn't, um...
00:05:12.300 wouldn't be so much of a big deal to a male.
00:05:17.440 Okay, what do you lack?
00:05:18.800 I'm annoying.
00:05:19.300 I'll ask you, I'll ask you, I'll ask you that question.
00:05:22.600 I'll ask you that question.
00:05:23.900 That was literally the first thing that would make the man go and cheat, that you're annoying.
00:05:29.020 You think so?
00:05:30.320 A hundred percent.
00:05:32.080 What?
00:05:32.520 When he can get someone that's just going to say, oh, yeah, you're the best man in the
00:05:36.400 world, and then he comes home to you, and you're just being annoying.
00:05:40.340 Okay, well, your siblings can be annoying, but you're not going to hate them for it, or
00:05:43.400 you're not going to now say they're not your siblings.
00:05:44.480 Yeah, he doesn't hate you because he cheated, he just wanted to put his dick somewhere
00:05:47.660 else, because you annoy him.
00:05:49.740 You wouldn't cheat because someone annoys you.
00:05:51.840 So why don't you listen?
00:05:53.100 He's a man.
00:05:54.200 Like, why are you telling him why?
00:05:56.600 That is annoying.
00:05:59.400 You know what, it's just funny?
00:06:00.460 It's like we don't listen to what the men say.
00:06:02.260 I'm not even dating.
00:06:03.160 Imagine if we're dating, bruv.
00:06:06.240 My annoying, I don't mean annoying in the times where you would hate me, obviously,
00:06:10.100 you wouldn't be with me in the first place, but I'm annoying in the sense where, you
00:06:13.640 know, like how your siblings would be annoying, but you still love them at the same time.
00:06:18.200 Yeah, but we know that men don't cheat.
00:06:20.440 Everyone's annoying to a certain degree.
00:06:22.080 There's some aspects of all of us that will, you know, that's annoying to other people.
00:06:25.700 But my whole point was, you don't think there's any areas you could improve it.
00:06:30.560 And you said, well, I'm annoying, but that wouldn't make him cheat.
00:06:33.520 She did say she was going to get drawn out right now.
00:06:35.980 I mean, you can say it, but I, okay, I would say, oh, please save me the, do you know what?
00:06:44.340 Like, some men can have their cake, their cherry and their icing and still cheat.
00:06:48.420 Like, you can be the perfect wife.
00:06:50.160 You do everything.
00:06:51.600 Yeah.
00:06:52.220 And they're still just, they're just them guys that just like going out.
00:06:55.580 Like, what does a guy call lacking in a woman?
00:06:58.280 And it's like, what was, supposing she's not, all the things.
00:07:02.720 Overweight, high body count.
00:07:03.980 Yeah, but supposing she's doing none of all those things then.
00:07:06.580 And she's doing like, what are we supposed to do?
00:07:08.760 That's where they lack communication.
00:07:10.480 What if she's doing everything that our wife's supposed to do?
00:07:12.660 But that's what I'm saying.
00:07:13.480 Wait, well, actually, actually, I'll tell you what she's, I'll tell you what she's probably lacking in femininity.
00:07:19.900 Because part of femininity is humility.
00:07:22.880 Well, you just said that men would cheat regardless.
00:07:24.900 You said it's in our nature to.
00:07:26.160 No, I would say men, I said men, no, no, no, I said men want to cheat regardless.
00:07:30.560 Yeah, want to.
00:07:30.880 But only the top 15% of men.
00:07:32.540 And you even said that women should just accept it.
00:07:33.440 Only, I said, no, I said, no, no, no, no.
00:07:36.940 I said go into the marriage assuming it may happen and try to work through it.
00:07:41.700 But a very small percentage of men can cheat.
00:07:44.560 Yes, but.
00:07:45.020 So, so we go back to women pick men that cheat.
00:07:47.940 Yeah, but it's in our biological system to want to reproduce it.
00:07:51.280 Right.
00:07:51.420 Therefore, there's more chances for men to cheat.
00:07:53.160 Right.
00:07:53.320 Without it being any fault on the woman.
00:07:55.160 It's still.
00:07:56.200 There's no more chances for men to want to cheat.
00:07:57.840 No, no, I'm just saying that.
00:07:58.660 What you're saying is just how that comes with the male makeup.
00:08:01.200 That's how we are.
00:08:01.880 No, I.
00:08:02.480 But think about it like this.
00:08:03.500 The average man can't get women easily.
00:08:06.380 So for a man to actively go out and look for a woman to cheat with when he can't really
00:08:11.840 even attract women means that there is actually something wrong.
00:08:15.100 Why don't you go sex workers?
00:08:16.200 They can pay and go sleep with women.
00:08:18.040 Is that not cheating?
00:08:19.820 No, I'm just answering me.
00:08:20.760 Is that not cheating?
00:08:21.240 Either way, my point is for a man to actively go out, the man that doesn't normally get
00:08:26.820 women, for him to actually leave his woman, who is meant to be, obviously.
00:08:31.620 But it's in our makeup, like you're saying, bro.
00:08:33.280 You said it's in our makeup to step out.
00:08:35.220 Most men don't even get sex.
00:08:37.980 That's the reality.
00:08:38.460 That's on those.
00:08:39.180 So how are they stepping in?
00:08:40.220 Some can't get in.
00:08:41.840 Okay.
00:08:42.640 But you know what?
00:08:43.360 Not to say you're right or wrong, but I read this book by a guy who was a pimp in
00:08:47.720 New Orleans.
00:08:48.620 And he describes how he became a pimp.
00:08:51.640 There's no way any woman could change him because that's how he just saw his environment,
00:08:54.940 how his mom was.
00:08:55.660 Right.
00:08:56.140 So if that's his makeup, it doesn't matter what kind of woman he's going to be with.
00:08:59.180 But the whole point is most men don't even get the opportunity to do that.
00:09:02.560 Like it's only 15, 20% of men that can really cheat like that.
00:09:06.000 One out of three men are either virgins or haven't had sex in the past year.