JustPearlyThings - July 25, 2023


They All Had This To Say About CHEATING

Topics
cheating in marriage cheating annoying
Hosted by
Hannah Pearl Davis
Woman TRIES To Wizzle Her Way Through This Question Modern Women Don't Understand The Concept Of MARRIAGE

Episode Stats


Length

9 minutes

Words per minute

198.49

Word count

1,816

Sentence count

184

Harmful content

Misogyny

16

sentences flagged

Toxicity

8

sentences flagged

Hate speech

11

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Cheating in a relationship can be a tricky subject, especially when it comes from someone you care deeply for. In this episode, we discuss cheating and how to deal with it in a healthy way. Cheating is a deal breaker in many relationships and we discuss how to work through it.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 Would you guys accept, would you guys try to work through cheating?
00:00:04.700 I think I'd be all right with cheating, honestly.
00:00:06.940 As long as I could film it for any fans.
00:00:08.940 If you could do it in front of me, that'd be fine.
00:00:10.400 Man or woman, I wouldn't mind. 0.99
00:00:11.380 Okay, go ahead.
00:00:12.360 If you asked me this about five years ago, I would have said, nah.
00:00:17.100 Now I would be, I'd have to think about something.
00:00:20.760 I couldn't make that dramatic, no.
00:00:23.100 Okay, you'd think about working through it.
00:00:24.760 I'd think about it if it was like, yeah, if it was the first time I'd have to think about that.
00:00:28.700 I can't like, just, it depends as well of how long we're in the relationship for, what we've got going on.
00:00:34.520 If it's something early, then I don't think he's taking me serious, really.
00:00:37.720 I think it's just a play-play thing.
00:00:39.340 I wouldn't.
00:00:40.220 What changed from five years ago to now?
00:00:42.940 I was young, mentally.
00:00:44.520 I wasn't thinking, I was thinking, oh, I'm the only one that you have to, yep, it's all about.
00:00:50.160 I wasn't looking into a man.
00:00:52.700 I didn't know what a man is.
00:00:54.300 I didn't know what men had to offer.
00:00:57.860 I didn't know, I was really young.
00:00:59.940 So my mentality was different.
00:01:02.200 Not saying, you know, there's so much about, there's so much around it.
00:01:05.840 There is so much around it and I can't just sit here and rant on about it forever.
00:01:09.500 But I do know that back then I would have been like, no.
00:01:13.660 But I think it's because I experienced it when I was younger and it put me in a very dark place.
00:01:18.280 I was very like, guard up.
00:01:19.680 If you cheat on me, I swear, I'm never going to deal with it.
00:01:23.960 What's stressful?
00:01:25.220 Like being on their phone all the time, trying to figure out what they're doing?
00:01:28.700 No, no, no.
00:01:31.200 What do you mean?
00:01:31.960 Like, I just find that like, if you're worried about cheating all the time, it's stressful.
00:01:37.700 Oh, I don't know about, no, I don't know.
00:01:40.000 I feel like going into a relationship without thinking about cheating is a bit more of a healthier.
00:01:44.920 If you're there thinking about it, then you shouldn't be in a relationship.
00:01:47.220 You're not ready.
00:01:47.880 Yeah, I agree.
00:01:48.500 You need to heal.
00:01:49.040 Yeah.
00:01:49.820 The healing.
00:01:50.720 Yes.
00:01:51.280 Love healing.
00:01:51.680 What he said, the healing.
00:01:52.820 We all need to heal.
00:01:53.600 No, yeah, yeah.
00:01:55.180 What about you?
00:01:55.940 Cheating?
00:01:56.960 Yes, we can talk through it.
00:01:58.360 Okay.
00:01:59.420 Yeah, I've already said, yeah, from earlier, I don't feel like that's a deal breaker within marriage.
00:02:05.060 I feel like it's something that you can work out as a couple.
00:02:07.420 Okay.
00:02:08.100 If it's sexual, then no.
00:02:10.180 I mean, like picture post and whatever. 0.83
00:02:11.800 But I feel like it's different for a woman to have sex. 0.99
00:02:14.040 Cheat in a marriage than it is for a man to cheat in a marriage.
00:02:16.540 I know it's going to sound so bad, but it is very different.
00:02:21.460 Someone said, actually, I'll read this later.
00:02:24.020 Go ahead.
00:02:25.420 Oh, I was intrigued to know.
00:02:31.420 Yeah, I think it's something that you can work through.
00:02:34.480 Have you ever worked through it?
00:02:36.340 Yes, I have.
00:02:37.140 Okay.
00:02:37.820 Do you feel like, were you able to let it go or did you still bring it up?
00:02:40.820 Um, I feel like if a guy's making you feel like inferior to that other woman or makes
00:02:53.360 you feel like, like no self-worth and stuff, then that's really wrong.
00:02:57.280 But then, like, if he does it in a way where he kind of just keeps that, like, to himself,
00:03:04.300 like, oh no, like, I don't know.
00:03:06.980 Like, when he starts to wreck the home, or say the woman becomes a home wrecker, the woman 0.98
00:03:10.940 that is, like, flirting with or whatever, and she starts phoning you and abusing you 1.00
00:03:16.440 and sort of, like, causing disruptions in the home, then I feel that that's, like, really,
00:03:21.560 really wrong.
00:03:22.220 But then, on the other hand, um, I don't know, I wouldn't say it's acceptable, but...
00:03:28.700 If it was a fling in Napa, then you'd be like, right.
00:03:32.440 It's never going to see that person again.
00:03:35.100 I still wouldn't really be happy about it.
00:03:36.860 No, no, no happy.
00:03:38.680 Yeah, I wouldn't be happy about it, but, however, um, I don't know, I think there's
00:03:46.840 levels, man.
00:03:47.920 There's definitely levels to it.
00:03:49.740 There's definitely levels.
00:03:53.000 Well, I've come to the understanding when it comes to cheating, when the male is cheating
00:03:58.360 anyway, is that there's a reason why the male has cheated, and it's most likely because
00:04:04.520 the female is lacking something within that relation. 1.00
00:04:08.760 So, it can be worked upon if they have that conversation or communicate that, and she
00:04:15.720 kind of fixes what she's lacking.
00:04:18.040 If she can't fix what she's lacking, then... 0.94
00:04:20.620 It's going to continue.
00:04:22.380 You know, he's going to continue to cheat, and then, obviously, that female is going to 1.00
00:04:25.680 feel hurt, or what the case may be.
00:04:27.500 So, would I work on it?
00:04:31.180 Um, if I was lacking something, I would.
00:04:34.920 If I wasn't lacking anything, and he was cheating for the sake of cheating, then no,
00:04:40.340 I will not work on it.
00:04:41.540 You think you're ever lacking nothing?
00:04:46.160 It's very personal.
00:04:47.580 I know I'm going to get drawn out for this, but I consider myself as a high-quality woman.
00:04:53.860 So, compared to a lot of females that's out there, I would see myself as high-quality 1.00
00:05:01.600 currently, today.
00:05:03.780 Right, but I said lacking nothing.
00:05:07.960 The things that I lack wouldn't, um...
00:05:12.300 wouldn't be so much of a big deal to a male.
00:05:17.440 Okay, what do you lack? 0.93
00:05:18.800 I'm annoying.
00:05:19.300 I'll ask you, I'll ask you, I'll ask you that question.
00:05:22.600 I'll ask you that question.
00:05:23.900 That was literally the first thing that would make the man go and cheat, that you're annoying.
00:05:29.020 You think so?
00:05:30.320 A hundred percent.
00:05:32.080 What?
00:05:32.520 When he can get someone that's just going to say, oh, yeah, you're the best man in the
00:05:36.400 world, and then he comes home to you, and you're just being annoying. 0.55
00:05:40.340 Okay, well, your siblings can be annoying, but you're not going to hate them for it, or
00:05:43.400 you're not going to now say they're not your siblings. 1.00
00:05:44.480 Yeah, he doesn't hate you because he cheated, he just wanted to put his dick somewhere 1.00
00:05:47.660 else, because you annoy him. 0.99
00:05:49.740 You wouldn't cheat because someone annoys you.
00:05:51.840 So why don't you listen?
00:05:53.100 He's a man.
00:05:54.200 Like, why are you telling him why?
00:05:56.600 That is annoying.
00:05:59.400 You know what, it's just funny?
00:06:00.460 It's like we don't listen to what the men say.
00:06:02.260 I'm not even dating.
00:06:03.160 Imagine if we're dating, bruv.
00:06:06.240 My annoying, I don't mean annoying in the times where you would hate me, obviously,
00:06:10.100 you wouldn't be with me in the first place, but I'm annoying in the sense where, you
00:06:13.640 know, like how your siblings would be annoying, but you still love them at the same time.
00:06:18.200 Yeah, but we know that men don't cheat. 1.00
00:06:20.440 Everyone's annoying to a certain degree.
00:06:22.080 There's some aspects of all of us that will, you know, that's annoying to other people.
00:06:25.700 But my whole point was, you don't think there's any areas you could improve it.
00:06:30.560 And you said, well, I'm annoying, but that wouldn't make him cheat.
00:06:33.520 She did say she was going to get drawn out right now.
00:06:35.980 I mean, you can say it, but I, okay, I would say, oh, please save me the, do you know what?
00:06:44.340 Like, some men can have their cake, their cherry and their icing and still cheat.
00:06:48.420 Like, you can be the perfect wife. 0.90
00:06:50.160 You do everything.
00:06:51.600 Yeah.
00:06:52.220 And they're still just, they're just them guys that just like going out.
00:06:55.580 Like, what does a guy call lacking in a woman?
00:06:58.280 And it's like, what was, supposing she's not, all the things.
00:07:02.720 Overweight, high body count.
00:07:03.980 Yeah, but supposing she's doing none of all those things then.
00:07:06.580 And she's doing like, what are we supposed to do?
00:07:08.760 That's where they lack communication.
00:07:10.480 What if she's doing everything that our wife's supposed to do? 1.00
00:07:12.660 But that's what I'm saying.
00:07:13.480 Wait, well, actually, actually, I'll tell you what she's, I'll tell you what she's probably lacking in femininity. 1.00
00:07:19.900 Because part of femininity is humility. 0.92
00:07:22.880 Well, you just said that men would cheat regardless.
00:07:24.900 You said it's in our nature to.
00:07:26.160 No, I would say men, I said men, no, no, no, I said men want to cheat regardless.
00:07:30.560 Yeah, want to.
00:07:30.880 But only the top 15% of men.
00:07:32.540 And you even said that women should just accept it.
00:07:33.440 Only, I said, no, I said, no, no, no, no.
00:07:36.940 I said go into the marriage assuming it may happen and try to work through it.
00:07:41.700 But a very small percentage of men can cheat.
00:07:44.560 Yes, but.
00:07:45.020 So, so we go back to women pick men that cheat. 0.96
00:07:47.940 Yeah, but it's in our biological system to want to reproduce it. 0.95
00:07:51.280 Right.
00:07:51.420 Therefore, there's more chances for men to cheat.
00:07:53.160 Right.
00:07:53.320 Without it being any fault on the woman.
00:07:55.160 It's still.
00:07:56.200 There's no more chances for men to want to cheat.
00:07:57.840 No, no, I'm just saying that.
00:07:58.660 What you're saying is just how that comes with the male makeup.
00:08:01.200 That's how we are.
00:08:01.880 No, I.
00:08:02.480 But think about it like this.
00:08:03.500 The average man can't get women easily. 0.99
00:08:06.380 So for a man to actively go out and look for a woman to cheat with when he can't really
00:08:11.840 even attract women means that there is actually something wrong. 0.94
00:08:15.100 Why don't you go sex workers? 1.00
00:08:16.200 They can pay and go sleep with women. 1.00
00:08:18.040 Is that not cheating?
00:08:19.820 No, I'm just answering me.
00:08:20.760 Is that not cheating?
00:08:21.240 Either way, my point is for a man to actively go out, the man that doesn't normally get
00:08:26.820 women, for him to actually leave his woman, who is meant to be, obviously. 0.73
00:08:31.620 But it's in our makeup, like you're saying, bro.
00:08:33.280 You said it's in our makeup to step out.
00:08:35.220 Most men don't even get sex.
00:08:37.980 That's the reality. 0.91
00:08:38.460 That's on those.
00:08:39.180 So how are they stepping in?
00:08:40.220 Some can't get in.
00:08:41.840 Okay.
00:08:42.640 But you know what?
00:08:43.360 Not to say you're right or wrong, but I read this book by a guy who was a pimp in
00:08:47.720 New Orleans.
00:08:48.620 And he describes how he became a pimp.
00:08:51.640 There's no way any woman could change him because that's how he just saw his environment,
00:08:54.940 how his mom was.
00:08:55.660 Right.
00:08:56.140 So if that's his makeup, it doesn't matter what kind of woman he's going to be with.
00:08:59.180 But the whole point is most men don't even get the opportunity to do that.
00:09:02.560 Like it's only 15, 20% of men that can really cheat like that.
00:09:06.000 One out of three men are either virgins or haven't had sex in the past year.