JustPearlyThings - April 06, 2023


They Called Out This Bimbo's Hypocrisy


Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

203.6491

Word count

2,210

Sentence count

1

Harmful content

Misogyny

11

sentences flagged

Hate speech

2

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss what it means to be a single parent in the 21st century and how it affects our relationships with our children. We also discuss the dangers of being a single mother in a modern society and how to deal with it.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 it's for you but if you're looking at it from a male perspective these are all the flags that say
00:00:05.200 okay she doesn't want to do this no but it's not i don't go carnival to i know i know i know but
00:00:10.480 it's inevitable like even if you try not to you could be standing there guy wants to yeah
00:00:18.720 no no i understand but it's inevitable because it's you know when you're in a relationship
00:00:23.440 and there's things that is you know you're making well okay let me put it like this as from a male's
00:00:29.760 perspective and i'm not a male but look at it like this you're making yourself available for men to 0.86
00:00:35.680 and it's kind of like your words really aren't matching what you're saying because like you
00:00:40.240 said you're a traditional woman traditional women don't go to carnival i'm saying i'm saying like
00:00:44.320 let me let me finish like my my mom my grandma wouldn't be caught dead at carnival they said
00:00:48.640 they want vibes they're like what are you talking about it doesn't mean like it's an insult it's
00:00:56.160 just like you can't be i think people are mistaken what carnival is about because obviously carnival is
00:01:00.000 more yeah it's a vibe it's more food maybe maybe at one point but i'm sorry you cannot convince me
00:01:07.040 that it's completely cultural when there's girls with their asses twerking like i'm sorry there's people 1.00
00:01:12.800 having sex on the street you cannot convince me that this is but i think what the i think what
00:01:18.160 initially carnival was wasn't this like even this dagger dagger dagger like so that's a part of
00:01:22.800 their culture let's say i it's not me that's going to be getting i've done carnival i've taken part
00:01:31.280 and all i've had costumes in england and in barbados and the safest place if you want to go as a woman 0.54
00:01:38.400 and it is to be inside the band where you're safe not to be out in the crowd not to be out in the crowd
00:01:44.720 and i don't understand when people go and they say oh we if you want to go on experience kind of
00:01:48.800 go on sunday children's day yeah yeah that's just go on a sunday but no decent woman's gonna go on a 1.00
00:01:54.080 monday and um i was listening to what you're saying and everything felt all right until you said you had a
00:02:02.080 child for me personally because i just think to myself marriage is a hard work yeah it's marriage
00:02:09.040 is a hard work and i think if you've got a child to say like oh i need to we need to go and find
00:02:15.280 ourselves to me it just seems like everything just going backwards yeah like you're finding that like
00:02:21.360 you got married first rather than find out about each other then get married and have the child
00:02:25.520 what i'm thinking about is yeah you might be great co-parents what i'm thinking to myself is
00:02:30.640 marriage is hard work yeah it is and to say like i'm gonna come back and revisit it in another five
00:02:37.360 years to me that's just me personally it sounds weird you're giving up you're giving up from your
00:02:43.360 marriage can i say what what sounds so interesting especially as your traditional are you supposed to
00:02:47.840 work at it no like i said it wasn't my choice do you get what i mean it wasn't my choice so obviously
00:02:52.800 it's not my choice that he feels like he's not ready to commit into that role again and that's
00:02:59.280 what i mean but you married him and that's what i was saying that it seems weird because you married
00:03:02.960 him and then like you're starting backwards so what i'm saying is obviously in my situation i could try
00:03:09.920 find a new partner or husband or whatever to marry it's just this country i don't think is it enables
00:03:16.560 that does that make sense everyone's everyone's trying to be city girl or city life and that doesn't
00:03:20.960 it's not something that i would do so i feel like in this culture in this society i'm not going to
00:03:26.240 find the man i want to marry and when i say three years i say three four years it could be even next
00:03:31.680 year whatever but it's more if he's ready when he's ready where he is i might be at the stage where
00:03:36.720 we're ready to work it out again yeah that's what i find interesting oh you know also can i just sorry
00:03:42.640 i just wanted to add like listening to the whole story like auntie said it's it's like it's worked
00:03:50.320 backwards so within everything you've said not once have i heard anything about like your child
00:03:56.960 how this impacts your child and i'm not judging you for that but that child has to live through it
00:04:04.560 and how does that affect i don't know my daughter doesn't know any different i know but she doesn't
00:04:09.760 know that we're separated well how no no no but but the thing is the thing is that's an assumption
00:04:16.560 as your daughter gets older she will notice little things she will ask questions and i think a lot of
00:04:24.160 relationship breakdowns don't ever consider the children the children children don't choose to be
00:04:29.680 here we bring them here as adults and part of being an adult is being responsible and part of
00:04:35.200 being responsible is making good choices and making informed decisions about the things that we do so
00:04:42.400 i'm not saying like your relationship is this or that but what i am saying is a lot of the time um
00:04:49.760 children are kind of pushed to the side and it's me me me me me even within the partnership that's why
00:04:56.240 it doesn't work because everybody's thinking about themselves finding themselves doing their thing
00:05:02.160 um you know exploring themselves whatever children are growing up in fragmented families
00:05:08.800 and then they have no direction no they might have a foundation but they don't have any direction
00:05:14.560 yeah can i add to the conversation i think i think okay this conversation is so interesting
00:05:19.920 because i feel like yeah it feels as if like we're putting the onus just on her so her not what her
00:05:27.760 saying sorry not her sorry sorry saying that she wants to that the time apart is needed yeah he also
00:05:34.320 feels the exact same thing that she's feeling so he also needs to take time apart i do i do think that a
00:05:39.920 lot of people sometimes get into relationships and they've got like a a me mindset and that will not
00:05:45.440 help relationships yeah but i really believe that there are certain things you need to work on on
00:05:51.840 your own yeah before you can then be in you can then come together with someone and build a healthy
00:05:56.320 relationship when you've got a child sorry let me just finish for example yeah say like say for
00:06:02.720 example say you've got like the things you've been through previous partners or whatever if you do
00:06:06.320 not work on that on your own yeah you're going to enter a new relationship and you're going to bring
00:06:10.880 up all that baggage into this new situation it doesn't help you it doesn't help the child i don't
00:06:16.080 like when people think that yes children are important yes you do whatever works for your
00:06:20.480 for your child but i have friends who've grown up where the moms have stayed with the dads because
00:06:25.040 they stay for the kids and the kids have grown up and said you know i wish you left that because
00:06:29.360 because you could have gone and been a health you could have been a healthy a woman who sorted out
00:06:33.760 sorted out her life it's usually it's usually because the mom the mom talks too much to the kids you 1.00
00:06:38.480 you shouldn't know about your parents the moms no i see this again and again and again like moms
00:06:44.720 moms will demonize the dad and like talk about the dad and then and then say oh you should like 0.98
00:06:49.440 why why does a kid know that i just should not know that i disagree and the second and the second
00:06:54.720 thing is i'm i don't know her marriage i'm not saying it's not his fault too i said but i said
00:06:59.920 the marriage yeah but i'm saying like like for both people like if you have a kid involved like
00:07:05.360 what you need to figure out yourself figure it out and one under one roof no but i disagree
00:07:10.320 i disagree with that because i have again this is what i'm saying is stuff that conversation i've had
00:07:15.680 with people who have actually been in these in these real life situations i know i have friends whose
00:07:20.880 moms literally did not let them know what their dad what piece of the dad was they grew up to see
00:07:26.800 what disappointment their father was and they were like the mom you know why we should left i think that
00:07:31.040 yes but i'm important i think that it's i think that yes you know you should create the best
00:07:35.520 environment for your child and blah blah blah all that is great absolutely yes cool whatever but
00:07:40.160 sometimes being in the same household is not the best environment for your child you put your kid at
00:07:45.280 every single statistical disadvantage they're more likely to run away from home they're more likely to
00:07:49.360 drop out of school they're more likely to be homeless they're more likely to end up in prison there's
00:07:52.960 a direct correlation between single parent homes and going to prison so so you can you can you can say okay
00:07:59.840 you know there are certain situations that are exceptions sure but if there's not abuse there's
00:08:05.920 not cheating why are you why are you doing that to your kid you're supposed to put your kid first
00:08:11.440 go ahead how many parents on the panel okay well i just wanted to say this as well um to go back to
00:08:19.760 what you said when you said you know people you've spoken to have said now i wish you had left dad
00:08:25.520 or whatever i wish you would have left dad yeah or separated that means that there were things
00:08:31.360 that were going on yeah that they could see and feel and experience now how do they know what it
00:08:38.080 would have been like without having their dad in the household i think it's fair for children to grow
00:08:43.280 up to make their own decisions about especially their fathers because i feel in society as women we
00:08:49.440 make a lot of decisions for our children based on how we feel at the time and we put our children at
00:08:55.840 a disadvantage and i think for myself i always say this but my dad the things that he's done for me
00:09:03.680 i'm not saying all dads are perfect my dad's not a perfect man but there's things my dad has done for
00:09:08.080 me that have given me strength in a strength that i can't explain to you i can only show you the way that
00:09:14.400 i operate um so for you to say like they've said why can't why didn't you leave dad there must have
00:09:21.840 been something in the household that they were experiencing that's a fact because my my mom would
00:09:28.160 always tell me as a basic rule you when you're raising kids they never see anything that goes on
00:09:33.520 whether it's decision making whether it's fighting nothing happens in front of the kids and i brought
00:09:37.120 this point up before when i talked about women having or losing their power because a lot of women want 1.00
00:09:41.920 to be at the forefront of relationships now where they dictate things my mom said a lot of the 0.88
00:09:45.600 decisions made in the household my dad looked like he was making a decision when really she had a lot
00:09:49.760 of influence in how the decision was made that's not because that she wanted to be at the front it's 0.90
00:09:53.760 because she knew how to play her role in that relationship when my parents did fight it was never
00:09:57.920 in front of us because what would happen is that kids are opportunists they're going to have favorites
00:10:01.920 if you see your mom fighting your dad most kids will gravitate to their mom your dad naturally becomes a
00:10:06.320 demon in that in that kid's eyes so parents show too much and women again like pearl said love to talk 1.00
00:10:11.760 a lot they'll start saying he's doing this and then you and the kid become best friends and start
00:10:15.520 talking about secrets in the relationship how the hell is that kid not going to grow up thinking
00:10:19.200 that that was a piece of when the mom vocalized every single problem she had like the way she would 1.00
00:10:23.120 to her as many of you know i was just banned on tick tock and we are demonetized on a daily basis
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