JustPearlyThings - March 19, 2023


They EXPOSED their red flags


Episode Stats


Length

12 minutes

Words per minute

218.24998

Word count

2,678

Sentence count

207

Harmful content

Misogyny

8

sentences flagged

Hate speech

6

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss the controversial topic of if you should or shouldn t post pictures on social media for your significant other. Is it a good or bad thing? And what should you do if he doesn t like them?

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 And the first thing I'm going to ask you lot is,
00:00:03.320 would you delete your social media for your significant other?
00:00:07.980 Right?
00:00:08.700 Say, all right.
00:00:10.840 You jumped in no way.
00:00:12.260 Go on.
00:00:13.120 Because I sing, I do music.
00:00:14.500 I need to promote myself.
00:00:15.600 Okay, what if it wasn't like business related?
00:00:18.680 What if it was just like you just have your personal account,
00:00:21.300 you post whatever, like typically what women post, 1.00
00:00:24.200 and your guy was like, you know what, I'm not really feeling that.
00:00:26.600 I feel like it's not making me feel comfortable,
00:00:28.900 and I need you to get rid of some of the content,
00:00:31.360 or if not the whole account.
00:00:33.020 You're up in your feelings.
00:00:34.520 You need to calm down, my friend.
00:00:36.080 Why?
00:00:36.620 You're moving mad.
00:00:37.840 My pictures, I want them online.
00:00:40.300 Why?
00:00:40.440 They're cute.
00:00:41.740 My friends like them.
00:00:42.680 They post purr, honey.
00:00:43.900 I love it.
00:00:44.960 Let me ask you this.
00:00:46.020 Is your account open or private?
00:00:47.780 Mine's open because I am an artist.
00:00:49.980 Yeah, but I'm saying, okay, like, okay, so your account's open, yeah?
00:00:53.100 And let's just say for argument's sake,
00:00:54.660 if it was a personal account, it'd be open, I would assume, right?
00:00:57.860 Like, so when you post pictures, everyone's got access to them, right?
00:01:01.840 Mm-hmm.
00:01:02.540 Yeah?
00:01:03.000 So if you post what typically women post or girls post online, 0.97
00:01:07.540 it might, like, seem like you're advertising to Next Man.
00:01:10.740 Do you get what I'm saying?
00:01:12.100 I would consider going private.
00:01:13.140 I would consider that,
00:01:14.040 but I'm not deleting the whole account and deleting pictures.
00:01:17.540 What if, like, it was, like, pictures, like, okay,
00:01:19.680 if I was to go on your Instagram account right now,
00:01:21.920 would it be, like, wholesome little house on the prairie, Pritchett?
00:01:25.260 Or would it be, like, suggestive, maybe sexy type of provocative stuff on there?
00:01:30.680 A bit of both.
00:01:31.580 A bit of both.
00:01:32.260 So if your guy was like, you know what, I don't like that kind of sexy stuff,
00:01:35.420 can you get rid of it?
00:01:35.880 Then you don't like me.
00:01:37.120 You need to accept it.
00:01:38.320 What do you mean that he don't like you?
00:01:39.840 You met me like that.
00:01:40.860 I was going to say that.
00:01:41.260 You met me sexy.
00:01:42.240 You met me with those pictures.
00:01:45.280 Yeah, but, like, when people get in relationships,
00:01:48.000 things change, don't they not?
00:01:49.400 Yes, but I feel like pictures and social media sometimes,
00:01:53.320 I feel like it's an extreme.
00:01:55.580 Why is it an extreme?
00:01:56.640 Because why do you need to go that far?
00:01:57.800 Why are you up in your feelings?
00:01:58.840 Because you've gone as far as to show yourself off to the whole world on Instagram.
00:02:03.320 And it's out there.
00:02:04.160 Someone might have screenshot it and put it on Google.
00:02:06.020 It's out now.
00:02:06.640 No, but we're talking about what you've posted, though.
00:02:10.240 We're not talking about what somebody else is what you've posted.
00:02:13.800 I feel like it's preference.
00:02:15.720 So, if it's not his cup of tea, that's his business.
00:02:19.400 We're going to have to agree to disagree.
00:02:22.440 I'm keeping my pictures online.
00:02:24.280 Okay.
00:02:24.760 I might go private.
00:02:26.520 But, yes, I am.
00:02:29.920 That's interesting, man.
00:02:31.100 All right, cool.
00:02:32.040 What about you?
00:02:32.620 You seem to agree.
00:02:35.020 I'm thinking, like, surely those are types of concerns that you have conversations about
00:02:40.600 before you get in a relationship with someone.
00:02:42.220 You can't just, like, be in a relationship for a few months
00:02:44.160 and all of a sudden, oh, take your pictures offline.
00:02:46.360 Do you know what I mean?
00:02:46.760 It's a bit, like, where did that come from?
00:02:48.480 Yeah, but the thing is, is, like, obviously, when you first meet someone, yeah,
00:02:51.400 you don't know if you're going to take them seriously.
00:02:53.020 You don't know if you're just going to sling pipe to them and then move on.
00:02:56.600 You don't know what's going to happen, really.
00:02:58.420 That's what I'm saying.
00:02:59.040 So, before you get in a relationship, those are conversations, like, you know what,
00:03:04.220 I really like you.
00:03:05.840 Or, you know, it's all about being just open and having uncomfortable conversations
00:03:09.660 at the end of the day.
00:03:10.320 We need to normalise that.
00:03:11.220 But if you're going somewhere, if you like her and there's, like, a little,
00:03:15.580 you know what, this is bugging me, and if I'm going to progress into the next level
00:03:19.120 with you, this is X, Y, Z.
00:03:21.120 Don't get in a relationship and then all of a sudden, oh, yeah,
00:03:24.300 like, you need to take pictures offline, go on private.
00:03:26.320 That's controlling.
00:03:27.140 Let's just say, hold on.
00:03:28.640 Let's say in your perfect scenario, yeah, you've got to know each other.
00:03:32.100 He realises he likes you and now he doesn't like that content.
00:03:34.720 Would you get rid of it?
00:03:35.780 If it was approached in a way, because sometimes it's about the approach as well.
00:03:40.080 Do you know what I mean?
00:03:40.840 Like, some people, you're allowed to feel how you feel.
00:03:43.940 But if you, the approach, it's all about, I would say it's all about the approach.
00:03:47.020 I can be compromising.
00:03:48.100 It's not a problem.
00:03:49.620 But if you approach it on some controlling, like, you need to do this and you need to do
00:03:52.800 that, I listen to what people say.
00:03:54.100 Well, this need to stuff.
00:03:55.580 No, but I already gave you the scenario.
00:03:57.140 He said that it made him feel uncomfortable.
00:03:59.240 And you're taking it to, it's controlling, it's controlling.
00:04:01.540 I've already kind of gave you the example.
00:04:03.180 No, no, no, what I'm saying is the approach.
00:04:04.880 If the approach is in a way that you need to do this, then that's controlling.
00:04:09.460 But like I said, some people can approach things diplomatically and express their concerns
00:04:15.400 in more ways that we can.
00:04:16.380 Okay, okay, okay.
00:04:16.660 So it's all about the approach.
00:04:17.400 Listen, listen, listen.
00:04:18.080 If the guy comes to you in a diplomatic way, would you delete this stuff?
00:04:21.320 Yeah, we can have a conversation.
00:04:22.780 Do you think you would delete this stuff?
00:04:25.180 I think I personally would.
00:04:26.680 If it's someone that I genuinely like and...
00:04:29.080 As long as he says it to you in some perfect way.
00:04:31.280 I never said that.
00:04:32.080 You said that.
00:04:32.580 The perfect way that you like?
00:04:34.060 No.
00:04:34.620 The perfect diplomatic way that you like?
00:04:35.860 Human to human, there's ways to speak to people.
00:04:37.800 And some people don't know how to do that.
00:04:39.680 Yeah, but why would you go straight to that extreme though?
00:04:42.280 I just, I never went to an extreme.
00:04:44.460 I'm just giving examples.
00:04:45.940 Yeah, but like the question was kind of simple.
00:04:48.140 But at the end of the day, like boom, you would be open to deleting the stuff?
00:04:50.940 Yeah, I'd be open to having that conversation.
00:04:52.600 Yeah, absolutely.
00:04:53.560 Awesome.
00:04:54.140 Okay, what about you?
00:04:56.460 Would you delete your socials?
00:04:58.640 If I didn't get work through my socials, then I would probably make my social media private.
00:05:03.860 As before, I got work through social media, my account was private.
00:05:09.120 But I wouldn't delete it, no.
00:05:11.360 Why?
00:05:12.840 Because it's on there.
00:05:13.860 Like I have, you know, everyone has social media.
00:05:16.020 You talk to your friends on there.
00:05:17.500 You have your connections.
00:05:19.080 Would you delete pictures and videos that were seen as provocative and sexy?
00:05:22.580 Would you delete those?
00:05:23.360 If it was a personal account and it wasn't for work, then I wouldn't see an issue.
00:05:29.360 But my account would be private still.
00:05:31.340 So I wouldn't really see why it would be a problem for me to keep them.
00:05:33.920 Would you understand why a guy might want you to delete those kind of things?
00:05:38.620 I do understand it.
00:05:40.320 But at the same time, if you've come to me and you wanted to get to know me and you've seen the kind of content that I post on social media,
00:05:47.500 you can't come to me afterwards and be like, oh, I have a problem with it now.
00:05:50.960 Because you knew how it was from before.
00:05:52.440 If you don't like that kind of stuff or you don't like the girls that post that kind of stuff,
00:05:55.440 then go for a girl that doesn't post that stuff on the internet. 1.00
00:05:58.520 Yeah, but this is the thing.
00:05:59.720 Like, he may see something in you.
00:06:01.500 At the end of the day, like, he may have met you outside of social media, got to know you,
00:06:05.880 realised that, oh, I actually like this girl.
00:06:07.620 I want to take this girl seriously.
00:06:08.780 And you're saying that you should just cut it off because you don't want to delete suggestive pictures that could be seen as advertising.
00:06:17.060 I mean, well, if my account's on private, I don't see it as advertising.
00:06:19.800 No, if it was public.
00:06:21.440 My account's only public, though, for work reasons.
00:06:24.140 So if it wasn't work, you'd go straight to private, yeah?
00:06:27.180 Yeah.
00:06:27.620 I mean, to be honest, yeah, probably.
00:06:30.060 All right, cool.
00:06:30.580 Awesome.
00:06:31.520 What about you?
00:06:32.760 What do you think?
00:06:33.680 Me?
00:06:34.220 Well, me?
00:06:35.000 Yeah.
00:06:35.120 My private, my personal account's in private, and then the public one is the business.
00:06:41.020 What kind of business?
00:06:42.020 Fashion blogging.
00:06:42.840 Okay.
00:06:43.500 Everything that I do on there, I'm proud of.
00:06:45.760 And so, yeah, I'm proud of it.
00:06:48.480 I wouldn't delete it.
00:06:49.320 If he had a problem with that, I wouldn't understand it because I'm completely proud of it.
00:06:54.220 So no, I wouldn't delete it or take it down.
00:06:56.020 What if you posted, like, you know, when you look at Instagram Explore page and you see girls, what they post, yeah, typically, yeah?
00:07:02.640 Like, if you was doing that and your guy was like, nah, I want you to get rid of that, how would you feel?
00:07:06.940 Would you be all right with that?
00:07:08.460 Me, personally, no, because if I'm choosing to do that, then that's the sort of person that I am.
00:07:13.200 And if, like, the girls were saying, if you're getting to know me, that's the other person that I've chosen to be.
00:07:18.600 And not everybody has to stay in your life.
00:07:21.320 If that's now become an issue and you can't accept that, you've got to be okay to be like, I'm not for you.
00:07:25.660 Let me ask you this.
00:07:26.580 Do you think that that is wise for, like, modern women to, like, you know, post those kind of images out there? 0.93
00:07:33.320 Do you think it's wise?
00:07:34.660 Yeah.
00:07:35.260 I think...
00:07:35.840 Because you're saying that if the woman is like that, then she's like that. 0.59
00:07:38.080 Okay, cool.
00:07:38.620 Do you think that's actually a smart way to conduct yourself?
00:07:41.420 I think if you're doing it for the right reasons, then yes.
00:07:46.020 And what I mean by that is, can you stand behind everything that you're putting out there?
00:07:49.860 Can you be proud of everything you're putting out there?
00:07:51.660 Is there a reason behind it?
00:07:52.980 If that's so, then great.
00:07:54.280 If you're doing it for...
00:07:55.480 What kind of reasons would someone have for putting out pictures where they're just showing off their body, like, they're virtually naked?
00:08:03.980 What kind of...
00:08:04.380 Business, I think we said.
00:08:05.560 Yeah, but, like, yeah, business.
00:08:06.900 But, come on, let's be real.
00:08:08.100 Not that many people are making money on Instagram, though.
00:08:12.040 It's not like the majority.
00:08:13.440 It's not even 50% of people or women.
00:08:15.740 Let's say specifically women that post that kind of content that are making money like that. 1.00
00:08:20.360 Most are just doing it for vanity.
00:08:22.480 You'd be surprised by how many people are making money on social media from that sort of stuff.
00:08:25.860 Bro, bro.
00:08:27.040 The majority of women are not making money on Instagram. 1.00
00:08:29.460 So you think they're just doing it?
00:08:30.840 So if they're not making money, let's take the money side out of it, then.
00:08:33.000 You think they're doing it just for...
00:08:34.700 I don't even have to take the money side out of it.
00:08:36.520 The money side is already out.
00:08:38.100 The majority of women are not making money on Instagram, posting pictures of their backside, 1.00
00:08:43.780 front side, or anything.
00:08:45.080 So what, they're just doing it for likes and for attention?
00:08:47.080 You tell me.
00:08:47.700 What do you think?
00:08:48.700 Because for me, it was mostly money, deals, lingerie deals, whatever deals you're getting.
00:08:53.380 So if we're taking that out of it and they're doing it just for likes and for attention,
00:08:56.440 then that's what they're getting from it.
00:08:58.080 And therefore, that's their reason.
00:09:00.260 And do you think that's valid?
00:09:01.860 Do you think that's wise?
00:09:02.540 Is having strange men on the internet, like, play with their willy, bussing nuts, looking
00:09:08.520 at your images?
00:09:09.980 Do you think that's wise?
00:09:10.940 Because really and truly, most of the guys that are liking and leaving comments,
00:09:14.380 oh, drink your bath water.
00:09:15.900 Those are just, there's specks in the atmosphere, bruv.
00:09:19.480 I'll be honest.
00:09:20.740 Anything we do with social media, are you going to look back on it in 20 years' time and be
00:09:24.740 proud of what you've done or not?
00:09:26.040 If the answer is no, it's not wise.
00:09:27.580 If you can stand by everything you've put out there, then yes, it is.
00:09:30.760 So just because you can stand by nonsense, that means it's okay?
00:09:34.060 Because it's not nonsense to that person.
00:09:35.820 That's the point.
00:09:36.360 It's nonsense to you and maybe to me, but it's not nonsense to that person.
00:09:40.020 Because they're going to stand by it in 30 years' time and 20 years' time.
00:09:42.420 It's their life.
00:09:43.900 Okay.
00:09:46.600 Melanie, what do you think?
00:09:49.540 Absolutely.
00:09:50.280 It's gone.
00:09:51.360 Why?
00:09:52.900 Because that's what he said.
00:09:54.760 Because that's what, just straight up?
00:09:56.420 Straight up.
00:09:57.860 Wow.
00:09:58.520 Okay.
00:09:59.180 Anything else you want to add to it?
00:10:00.480 No, I mean, if I know you're my king, you're the man I'm with, and that's what you don't
00:10:05.600 like, like, social media means nothing to me.
00:10:08.520 Like, you are, like you, in real life, this man, that's who I've chosen to dedicate my
00:10:15.880 life to.
00:10:16.480 This is who I want.
00:10:17.400 This is who I'm serving.
00:10:20.240 I know, I think there's an age gap here.
00:10:23.180 I think at my age, you know, I grew up in a time without social media.
00:10:27.800 I think there's an addiction if you've been born at a certain age where it's necessary
00:10:31.880 for your life.
00:10:33.000 In fact, if I can disappear from the internet, praise God, I'm gone.
00:10:36.860 If I have my husband and my family and I'm baking and cooking and have a garden and we're doing
00:10:44.280 family things, I have no need for anybody else to see this but the man that I choose
00:10:48.360 to be with.
00:10:48.960 And so, for me, it's absolute fundamental that what he says goes.
00:10:53.680 And so, I have no need for anyone to see me but the man I'm with.
00:10:57.880 Anybody I need to share pictures with, they're in my, we're in a group chat.
00:11:02.560 And those are my friends and family and nobody else that needs to see it.
00:11:05.560 So, I think there, like I said, like, I think it's harder for young women to even fathom
00:11:11.680 the idea of not having social media.
00:11:14.720 But being the age I am, the mindset, how I was raised, it's vanity and it's, they don't
00:11:22.420 see it that way.
00:11:23.320 And it's not a criticism.
00:11:24.640 It's just, it's just the mindset is very different.
00:11:28.480 And I was raised to be a wife, not for the streets.
00:11:33.680 I'm not for consumption for every man, I'm consumption for one man. 0.75
00:11:37.260 So, for me, he's the only man whose opinion matters to me other than my father or a spiritual 0.85
00:11:42.980 leader in my life or the men who I respect and protect me and provide for me.
00:11:47.060 These men on social media are not protecting, providing for you, don't give a damn about
00:11:50.780 you.
00:11:51.520 You're there for likes and comments and all this.
00:11:53.440 They don't give a, they don't care about you.
00:11:55.640 They're not going to ride for you, they're not going to do for you.
00:11:58.220 They're not going to care about your children.
00:11:59.620 They're going to skeet in you. 0.83
00:12:00.420 Many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on
00:12:06.580 this platform.
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