JustPearlyThings - April 21, 2023


They Finally Admitted Their Delusion


Episode Stats

Length

10 minutes

Words per Minute

208.98712

Word Count

2,282

Sentence Count

181

Misogynist Sentences

26

Hate Speech Sentences

14


Summary

In this episode, we discuss toxic masculinity in the dating world and how it affects women and how to deal with it. We also discuss how toxic masculinity affects men and why it s so difficult for women to be in love with a man.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 I think it's just so difficult for us females,
00:00:02.360 like going back to what you said,
00:00:04.500 when we want to be in our,
00:00:07.020 like we want a guy to completely just take care of us
00:00:10.400 and protect us and be that hero.
00:00:12.680 You know, every girl,
00:00:13.820 we've been told all these fairy tales,
00:00:15.500 all these stories when we're growing up,
00:00:16.720 we're fed it from when we were kids.
00:00:18.260 It's delusion.
00:00:18.960 Do you know, it is delusion.
00:00:20.840 Oh my God.
00:00:22.020 We got through to them.
00:00:22.980 They're not a fruit to us.
00:00:25.320 It's the guy saving the female all the time.
00:00:28.040 So I think that's when it hurts so much
00:00:30.540 when you finally say,
00:00:31.800 oh my God, okay, I can let go.
00:00:33.580 I'm finally in feminine energy.
00:00:34.980 I don't have to protect myself anymore.
00:00:36.720 I can finally go.
00:00:37.380 And that's why it hurts so much
00:00:39.080 when you see the guy that you think you can do that with
00:00:41.720 and then they go out and exercise the options.
00:00:45.280 Like you said, that's why it hurts so much.
00:00:47.720 And that's when it goes back to the original question
00:00:49.940 as to where you stay or do you go.
00:00:52.360 Also, I'll tell you this is that for you,
00:00:54.980 sex in a lot of ways equals love.
00:00:56.760 For men, it does not.
00:00:59.080 Yeah.
00:00:59.300 You know, and I think that's what's painful.
00:01:00.800 You're like, how could he possibly do that
00:01:02.700 when I don't want to do that at all, truly?
00:01:05.600 So most women that are truly in love with a man
00:01:08.580 don't want to, they don't know another man exists.
00:01:10.920 And I think you said that earlier.
00:01:12.320 And it's absolutely true.
00:01:13.760 So for you, you can't comprehend,
00:01:15.800 just like we can't comprehend your position.
00:01:18.100 How could he possibly love me the way I love him
00:01:24.060 and still do that?
00:01:25.720 And you're completely valid in that feeling.
00:01:28.580 It's just trying to get through to anyone.
00:01:31.080 Like men don't feel that way.
00:01:33.420 They don't.
00:01:33.820 So you can explicitly say,
00:01:34.940 because that's, I think.
00:01:35.680 Without a shadow of a doubt.
00:01:37.760 And that's why I made the point earlier,
00:01:40.320 how far men will go down the totem pole to do it.
00:01:43.340 It haunts men in a lot of ways, I'm telling you.
00:01:47.640 I think that is the question that I would ask
00:01:49.280 when you say it to me,
00:01:50.200 what question do you want to ask men?
00:01:51.620 That is the question.
00:01:52.380 When that happens, is it love
00:01:55.680 or is it just complete, just blind?
00:01:57.760 I don't care about that girl.
00:01:58.800 I don't care about that female.
00:02:00.060 Bro, I promise you, he does not care about her.
00:02:02.060 Okay.
00:02:03.340 And it's going to haunt the man even more
00:02:04.980 if he's like not being open, innit?
00:02:07.120 Oh, it's way worse.
00:02:08.380 He's like sneaking out the house and coming back in.
00:02:10.140 He's got his family.
00:02:10.900 He knows how you act.
00:02:11.740 Like, that must be even worse.
00:02:13.640 Your grandfather, I think, was a good example
00:02:15.940 because he did that.
00:02:17.420 He had that kind of other side of his life,
00:02:20.000 but he treated his main woman with so much respect
00:02:22.060 that he didn't shame her by making it open.
00:02:24.660 Yep, respect.
00:02:25.480 And I respect her for that
00:02:26.620 because I think at some point,
00:02:27.860 another thing I did mention,
00:02:28.900 it's about compromise.
00:02:29.840 I like women who are naturally feminine.
00:02:31.540 You naturally understand like,
00:02:32.400 listen, I'm slightly less successful than Justin, right?
00:02:35.260 Slightly, right?
00:02:36.700 Got one or two million less, right?
00:02:38.840 So not every man's going to be a superhero.
00:02:41.980 And everyone's going to have their flaws.
00:02:43.760 And being able, willing to kind of meet them halfway
00:02:45.860 and talk about things is such a rare trait.
00:02:49.700 And the prettier women get,
00:02:50.940 the less likely they want to do that.
00:02:52.600 The more they want to see a man bend over
00:02:54.260 and slide in the DMs
00:02:55.480 and do all these things
00:02:56.820 because they think I can do it.
00:02:58.380 And they all get played
00:02:59.320 because the guys that will do that
00:03:00.480 are doing it because they're horny.
00:03:01.880 That's it.
00:03:02.480 Yeah.
00:03:03.440 Is there a conscience there though?
00:03:05.180 Is there a conscience after?
00:03:06.800 In what way?
00:03:07.340 After that happens.
00:03:08.440 After they do that.
00:03:09.500 Like, is there a conscience?
00:03:10.800 The man?
00:03:11.640 Yeah.
00:03:11.960 Yeah.
00:03:12.640 If they're running around lying to people,
00:03:14.380 yes, absolutely.
00:03:16.040 Absolutely.
00:03:16.640 And that's why it's so important.
00:03:17.960 You, to me,
00:03:19.020 truly a high value man will live in truth.
00:03:21.120 Yeah.
00:03:21.600 Completely.
00:03:21.920 And this undermines
00:03:23.280 the whole toxic masculinity exercise
00:03:25.260 because what you always talk about
00:03:26.640 is actually just being honest and authentic.
00:03:29.000 This is my nature.
00:03:30.100 Yeah, I feel like with honesty.
00:03:30.780 This is how I am.
00:03:31.560 You said, didn't you?
00:03:32.140 Back at the start.
00:03:32.680 And what's toxic?
00:03:33.560 How can anyone say that's toxic, right?
00:03:35.720 I'll put it to you like this.
00:03:37.000 If I love myself,
00:03:39.560 I have to believe
00:03:40.840 that some, many,
00:03:43.140 but somebody
00:03:44.360 would love me just the way I am
00:03:46.960 in full truth.
00:03:49.000 Yeah.
00:03:49.240 And the fact of the matter is
00:03:51.080 most of the time
00:03:52.100 when a man gets caught,
00:03:54.020 he has been caught in deception.
00:03:56.300 So not only is he a liar,
00:03:57.820 he's a coward.
00:03:58.840 And how can you respect a coward?
00:04:00.360 Yeah.
00:04:01.000 Yeah.
00:04:01.500 That is truth.
00:04:02.400 That's very true.
00:04:03.560 That is true.
00:04:04.180 Yeah, I agree.
00:04:04.980 Okay, I can say that.
00:04:05.980 Just raise your hands.
00:04:08.560 Who thinks that they could accept cheating
00:04:10.340 if the guy was open about it?
00:04:12.620 Definitely.
00:04:13.600 What do you mean accept?
00:04:14.460 Not just open.
00:04:15.400 Open and clean and rule.
00:04:16.580 Not give him a hard time about it.
00:04:18.200 Not bring it up.
00:04:19.040 Just,
00:04:19.160 this is what he does.
00:04:21.280 I don't think any woman's
00:04:22.100 actually capable of that
00:04:23.500 because I think there'll be spurts
00:04:25.240 of outbursts and pain.
00:04:26.740 You have to lie, bro.
00:04:28.360 Right?
00:04:28.680 There'll be spurts of outbursts and pain.
00:04:30.020 And that is one of the most
00:04:31.180 important parts for a man.
00:04:33.180 If that happens,
00:04:34.420 you have a job to stop
00:04:35.640 what the fuck you're doing
00:04:36.720 and be there
00:04:37.740 and sit in that pain with her
00:04:38.980 and help make it better.
00:04:40.460 I'm not talking about a man
00:04:41.780 that doesn't actually love you.
00:04:43.160 Like, this man will actually love you.
00:04:45.340 And that's been the hardest thing
00:04:46.860 for people to understand,
00:04:48.860 especially,
00:04:49.240 and that's one of the things
00:04:49.820 I hated the most
00:04:50.840 when I was going through the pain
00:04:52.240 of, like, breaking up with girls
00:04:53.180 I had feelings for
00:04:54.080 is I was in love with these girls.
00:04:57.720 I would have sat down with them
00:04:59.000 and been there.
00:05:00.060 I wouldn't have cried,
00:05:00.940 but I'd have held them.
00:05:02.560 You understand what I'm saying?
00:05:03.760 Like, you don't have to be a dick
00:05:05.580 to a woman just because
00:05:06.620 you're doing that.
00:05:07.740 This is really about getting down
00:05:09.360 to the brass tacks
00:05:10.260 of how we're actually wired.
00:05:11.560 Like, you don't even want to do it.
00:05:12.680 It's just...
00:05:13.300 Oh, like I said,
00:05:14.300 I'd pay for it to go away.
00:05:16.000 It's so interesting
00:05:17.240 because you said,
00:05:18.160 like, you may have married those girls.
00:05:21.260 Absolutely.
00:05:22.140 And the thing is,
00:05:23.080 they may have gotten
00:05:23.800 what they wanted
00:05:24.500 if they could have accepted that.
00:05:26.280 And you know what I think about that?
00:05:28.680 Truly,
00:05:29.760 all the women that are like,
00:05:31.600 okay,
00:05:32.660 I can see the world for how it is.
00:05:35.040 This sucks.
00:05:35.760 It's going to hurt.
00:05:37.120 But I believe him.
00:05:37.940 He loves me.
00:05:38.400 He makes me feel this way.
00:05:39.940 Joke's on all the other women
00:05:41.280 because they're getting the shit men
00:05:42.540 and guess what?
00:05:43.640 Those shit men,
00:05:44.760 if given the opportunity
00:05:45.700 in a heartbeat,
00:05:47.000 not only will do it,
00:05:47.940 but lie about it.
00:05:49.740 And to me,
00:05:50.480 I look at those two scenarios.
00:05:52.940 Who's really winning?
00:05:54.360 Yeah.
00:05:54.920 Who's really winning?
00:05:55.700 One of them's getting truth
00:05:56.640 and real love
00:05:57.380 and probably a much better life.
00:05:59.840 The other one's getting lied to
00:06:00.960 and getting a scrub
00:06:01.880 and a coward.
00:06:02.680 Yeah.
00:06:03.440 And that's just how it is.
00:06:05.220 So who's the joke on really?
00:06:07.300 And when you read all these books
00:06:09.840 and you hear all this stuff
00:06:10.840 and you hear these women
00:06:11.960 kind of being super masculine
00:06:14.160 with the attitude around it,
00:06:15.640 they've probably never met a man
00:06:17.540 who could sit down with them
00:06:19.640 and be emotionally intelligent enough
00:06:21.700 to love them through it
00:06:23.260 and explain it in an articulate enough way
00:06:25.780 with enough conviction,
00:06:26.900 not hiding from it,
00:06:28.100 that they could ever be able to accept it.
00:06:30.080 And to add to that,
00:06:33.100 one misconception
00:06:34.340 a lot of modern women have
00:06:35.500 is that your value
00:06:36.520 is in your ability
00:06:38.120 to sexually please a man.
00:06:39.920 So I think older women know that
00:06:41.680 it's about your ability
00:06:43.120 to take care of the home,
00:06:44.340 it's your feminine energy.
00:06:45.480 So they think,
00:06:46.000 a lot of women feel,
00:06:46.760 if he cheats on me,
00:06:47.480 then it means I'm nothing to him
00:06:48.560 and I have no value,
00:06:49.640 he's throwing me away.
00:06:50.440 No, no, no.
00:06:51.360 I slept with you
00:06:52.160 for the first time years ago.
00:06:53.720 We've already read that book.
00:06:55.220 Now, your value is that
00:06:56.420 you're the wife,
00:06:57.360 like you're the pillar of this house.
00:06:58.640 You make the food,
00:06:59.380 you make this a home,
00:07:00.460 you're supportive,
00:07:01.600 you're the love of my life
00:07:02.780 in some ways.
00:07:03.460 You're my piece.
00:07:04.260 Yeah, you need to pivot to that
00:07:05.780 because all this new feminist ideology,
00:07:08.080 low-key sells you the idea
00:07:09.720 that it's about the sex.
00:07:11.720 Sex lasts five minutes.
00:07:13.460 This woman's going to give up
00:07:14.340 a multi-millionaire,
00:07:15.720 happy life,
00:07:16.640 all those connections,
00:07:18.080 because he busts a nut in someone else?
00:07:20.840 And she's going to give up all that
00:07:21.920 because she thinks
00:07:22.740 that's all that matters with us.
00:07:24.340 That's the definition of our relationship
00:07:25.720 and it's not.
00:07:26.620 You fucked up.
00:07:27.580 Old school queens will tell you that.
00:07:28.820 You think a queen
00:07:29.780 would divorce a king
00:07:31.380 if that's even possible
00:07:32.160 because he has a concubine?
00:07:33.440 Nah,
00:07:33.800 because you're still the fucking queen.
00:07:34.940 That's why.
00:07:35.740 Yeah.
00:07:36.440 Yeah.
00:07:37.980 It's true.
00:07:39.340 But I feel like we've been fed
00:07:40.480 for so long
00:07:41.260 that it's like
00:07:41.940 if you do that,
00:07:42.980 then you have no value,
00:07:45.260 then you're like a horrible person.
00:07:46.540 My issue is they always paint it
00:07:49.280 like the men
00:07:50.120 are the worst,
00:07:51.380 that is the worst thing
00:07:52.220 they could possibly do.
00:07:54.140 When it's like,
00:07:54.920 well,
00:07:55.260 we're not perfect either.
00:07:56.840 Yeah.
00:07:57.420 And so it's like
00:07:58.000 we expect all this stuff from men.
00:08:00.100 We expect them to provide for us.
00:08:01.620 We expect them to be masculine,
00:08:03.100 to lead,
00:08:04.040 be good looking,
00:08:04.820 tall,
00:08:05.580 successful.
00:08:06.780 And it's like
00:08:07.540 if he checks every single box
00:08:10.100 and he cheats,
00:08:11.360 oh,
00:08:11.560 you should throw a good thing away.
00:08:13.280 You should throw away
00:08:14.060 your whole family
00:08:14.840 and never be,
00:08:15.700 it's not like you're going to replace him.
00:08:17.620 Yeah.
00:08:18.280 So my response to that
00:08:20.060 is you're going to leave me
00:08:21.160 for a man that you love less
00:08:22.520 that will cheat on you anyway.
00:08:24.900 It's true.
00:08:26.860 Because even you talk to like
00:08:28.280 married couples
00:08:29.040 and they've been together for long,
00:08:30.320 like I realize
00:08:31.020 they always start with,
00:08:32.400 oh,
00:08:32.580 there's ups and downs
00:08:34.080 and more times
00:08:34.700 when they talk about ups and downs
00:08:35.920 it's like
00:08:36.440 talking about them situations
00:08:37.560 where it's like,
00:08:38.320 yeah,
00:08:38.460 you cheated,
00:08:39.220 I'm not happy about it,
00:08:40.640 but it's like
00:08:41.100 we move on
00:08:41.720 because I love you
00:08:42.460 I don't believe in divorce.
00:08:43.980 And look,
00:08:44.180 it's a complete double standard
00:08:45.160 because if a woman
00:08:46.360 cheats on a man,
00:08:47.080 he will leave her in a second.
00:08:48.380 Yeah,
00:08:48.480 because they know
00:08:49.000 it's emotional with women.
00:08:50.200 But it's like
00:08:50.920 it's like the trade-off thing,
00:08:52.160 right?
00:08:52.340 He's going to go through
00:08:53.020 all this hell
00:08:53.620 and go through all the stress
00:08:54.580 and make sure your world
00:08:55.500 is a fucking carpet ride
00:08:56.900 and there's just one thing
00:08:58.840 inside of him
00:08:59.460 that is in every side
00:09:00.240 of every man
00:09:01.060 but you'll notice
00:09:02.280 that he will not give
00:09:03.300 material assets
00:09:04.580 to those other women.
00:09:05.560 Yeah.
00:09:05.980 But do you know,
00:09:06.640 it's funny,
00:09:07.200 I feel like women
00:09:08.100 really and truly
00:09:08.960 like when you're actually
00:09:09.720 in the situation
00:09:10.480 that you're more upset
00:09:12.420 with men that cheat
00:09:13.460 that are not playing
00:09:14.560 their role.
00:09:15.220 Like if a man is cheating
00:09:16.240 and not playing a role
00:09:17.060 you can actually F off.
00:09:18.040 That's the deceit answer.
00:09:19.140 Did you get it?
00:09:19.680 Oh, you're going to cheat
00:09:20.520 but you're a shit man?
00:09:21.580 You're not going to cheat?
00:09:22.080 You're not going to tell me?
00:09:23.240 You don't do nothing.
00:09:24.140 My life sucks.
00:09:25.260 Yeah, you play video games.
00:09:26.160 I'm just a cherry on top.
00:09:28.500 But if the man is a father,
00:09:30.120 he's like your husband,
00:09:31.720 he like listens
00:09:32.660 to everything you say
00:09:33.540 and then he cheats,
00:09:34.560 of course you're going
00:09:35.220 to feel a type of way
00:09:36.120 but it's something
00:09:36.600 you're going to work through
00:09:37.520 because it's like
00:09:38.280 this is my husband
00:09:38.920 and we're building
00:09:39.380 a life together.
00:09:39.940 So would you say that
00:09:41.160 men making more money
00:09:42.880 in a way
00:09:43.280 gives them the right
00:09:44.160 to cheat?
00:09:45.140 Not just money.
00:09:46.320 It's like the whole role
00:09:47.260 they have for them.
00:09:47.760 They emotionally need
00:09:48.920 to be attached to her as well.
00:09:49.860 Right.
00:09:50.300 Not just money.
00:09:51.400 Well, I know that
00:09:52.360 I'm glad you said it
00:09:53.480 because a lot of people
00:09:54.660 just throw money out
00:09:55.680 and they stop it at money.
00:09:56.740 No, I mean love the woman.
00:09:57.980 Yeah.
00:09:58.560 I mean love her fully.
00:09:59.860 That's why you can't
00:10:01.040 just call anyone
00:10:01.740 a high value man
00:10:02.500 until you know them
00:10:03.480 because high value man
00:10:04.420 comes with so many qualities
00:10:05.720 not just money.
00:10:06.720 Oh, he's a millionaire
00:10:07.320 but he she can't like
00:10:09.120 It's character.
00:10:10.020 I love his character
00:10:11.180 to me in my opinion.
00:10:12.360 I was just banned
00:10:13.240 on TikTok
00:10:14.140 and we are demonetized
00:10:15.860 on a daily basis
00:10:17.080 on this platform.
00:10:18.980 If you want to help
00:10:20.240 please consider sending
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00:10:32.520 other people
00:10:32.980 so
00:10:34.020 can I
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00:10:39.940 go
00:10:45.860 on some
00:10:46.140 I
00:10:47.060 host
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