JustPearlyThings - They Tricked Him Into Transitioning

00:00:00.000 what up guys welcome to the just pearly things youtube channel and welcome to the sit down this

00:00:05.600 is actually our first virtual episode so today i am interviewing someone that you are suing the nhs

00:00:13.680 that's right okay so richie welcome to the show thank you so tell me why are you suing the nhs

00:00:22.000 um i underwent gender treatment for gender i said treatment in quotations for gender reassignment

00:00:31.440 and had surgery in 2018 um and it was something that i didn't really want and it was kind of

00:00:39.360 pushed again from the moment i had my first psychiatric appointment at the gender clinic

00:00:44.560 it was just straight away do you want gender assignment surgery and i was like i don't think

00:00:48.400 so i've got questions though and all the questions were just kind of brushed off um and then

00:00:55.280 when the first referral came through i was like i don't think i want this i want more therapy

00:01:00.240 so i had some therapy over a long period of time and when i say therapy i mean with a gender therapist

00:01:07.360 right this isn't like um a psychoanalyst this is somebody who's got an ideological sort of view

00:01:16.320 of what you are and who you are and over time um i went through this rigmarole of getting referred

00:01:25.120 and cancelling it and then by about 2017 they just give us an old made of them and it was like

00:01:31.920 if you don't want surgery we'll just sort of discharge you so i kind of debated myself into it

00:01:41.520 as well as talking with a lot of people and no one would ever talk about the bad stuff

00:01:45.840 by the way it was just how great it was and how you can very quickly fall in a reasons that if this is

00:01:54.240 going to be me for the rest of my life and the situation down below because when you take estrogen

00:02:00.480 and anti-androgen bloggers and stuff like that um it atrophies everything um and you lose a lot of

00:02:07.120 functionality and it also over time makes getting any sort of surgery in the future

00:02:14.720 more impossible so it kind of just got sold to us as you're going to go down this path anyway and

00:02:20.800 i wasn't a well person and i'm still still have struggles but i certainly wasn't a very well

00:02:28.880 person and then i had it and not only did all my fears sort of come true but i'm realized before the

00:02:37.200 complications that came off it that were obvious um even before then i was like i regret this i shouldn't

00:02:44.880 have done this um and then after i so i went back to the gender clinic and said i think i regret it

00:02:52.880 but i don't know what to do i wasn't really blaming anyone but myself and uh they just told me i wasn't

00:02:58.480 regretting it and that i had ocd and that i had unstable personality disorder and to for all intents and

00:03:07.440 purposes to get the ocd treated and i pretty much just got abandoned and very much hurt by it and then

00:03:16.400 in about 2022 early on i kind of started realizing that i had a bit of a case for negligence and i

00:03:24.160 really wanted to talk about all the harms that are happening too because it's not just me there's a lot of

00:03:29.920 people so when so you're you were you're a boy and when did you start feeling like you were a girl

00:03:40.080 like how old very young i mean and i think that was like a reaction to trying to understand my nature

00:03:49.200 and my place in the world you know because i was very i wasn't a hyper effeminate boy but i was definitely

00:03:55.920 a very very soft boy and i had mixed interests i liked pop-up kitchens and um action meant lego and

00:04:05.440 computers and stuff but um i definitely also liked dressing up from about four or five and playing

00:04:13.040 like that sort of social play and i was just trying to make sense of who i was in the world so did your

00:04:20.720 parents push this stuff on you at all or no absolutely not no i mean it was just to be

00:04:25.840 clear just to clarify i'm 36 years old oh wow yeah younger yeah i transitioned as an adult

00:04:35.920 medically at 26 i had surgery two days before my first birthday and i'm glad you kind of said

00:04:44.720 when i said that not just because uh because i want you to have a reaction to how i look but because

00:04:51.200 i want to bring this point that what hormones do with males is it doesn't make you feminine it just 0.55

00:04:57.760 meets your male characteristics and it kind of at certain stages reverses them so you kind of take

00:05:05.120 on a very youthful male appearance which often gets construed as a female appearance but it's not it's

00:05:12.400 just a a meeting of the secondary characteristics rather than a feminization so when did you have

00:05:19.840 your first meeting with the nhs uh so before sorry i just said one question i thought of that would

00:05:29.520 lead yeah yeah go for it did did social media influence your decision at all like do you think

00:05:36.160 that had an impact on this was kind of pre the boom but i did find a trans group online in back in

00:05:45.280 the old days of the in that you had forums that were the main sort of social media like little groups

00:05:51.360 and i joined what i thought was the trans community but it was essentially just

00:05:56.640 an agp community basically but i didn't know that at the time i didn't know what that was i didn't

00:06:01.120 know what any of this was um and that idea was very much given to us on who will play it and

00:06:10.240 especially when you're so ready to retcon everything like change your history like for instance me wanting

00:06:17.760 a player dress up as the head teacher at four years old and putting the feather hat and the big pearls

00:06:22.880 and stuff that was obviously sign of gender dysphoria wanting to be a ballerina at seven and eight 0.95

00:06:27.840 years old that was gender dysphoria hating football and picking daisy chains on the football field rather

00:06:34.320 than playing the game that was all dysphoria what it was was just a soft boy trying to understand his

00:06:40.800 place in the world that was very cut and dry yeah no i i relate to that a bit because i was very much a

00:06:47.920 tomboy growing up so like i was very into like sports and i never really related to like girly stuff

00:06:54.160 yeah but i just kind of wonder like why in your situation you ended up like thinking you were

00:07:01.120 trans and i didn't like i was just curious what has like pushed you down that route so i think there are

00:07:06.880 various other factors that play and the way i view it is you can't just make a cake with just flour right

00:07:13.920 just being non-conform itself isn't enough right you need the other ingredients so i think um neurodivergence

00:07:22.960 comes into it with autism and adhd that is just i don't know a single trans person or detransitioner

00:07:29.360 who doesn't have either high function and autism or adhd it's like either or um there's also the same

00:07:36.960 sex attraction element there's the relationship with your peers and one thing i've tend to notice is

00:07:45.840 there's always this like early sort of idea body dysmorphia and i think it comes through on two facets

00:07:52.640 one you either have somebody who goes through puberty very early and they're very different

00:07:56.160 from the peers or they go through it very late and i was in the very late category um and also

00:08:01.920 the bullying at school i don't know how you did at school but i was ripped to shreds at school and

00:08:09.200 that's sort of how you view your own sex and how you're trying to make sense of yourself in the world

00:08:15.120 all compounds to these feelings and then yeah i was a very anxious person had a lot of panic attacks

00:08:21.280 i've got a very high diagnosis of ocd uh even before i got um went down the trans stuff they knew about

00:08:28.640 like me disorders and stuff um and i just held a a very panicky anxious disposition because of a lot

00:08:37.920 of external events i had an older brother he was always trying to toughen us up and he was fighting

00:08:43.840 he always fought me battles for us you know um and then he went off to the army because he's like

00:08:49.200 two and a half years older and then in school it just early fell apart so i don't know i and also

00:08:55.680 had a very black and white view of the world and i had all this anxiety and depression in my early 20s

00:09:01.680 and i was desperate to find an answer for why i was the way i was why did i have really bad ocd why

00:09:07.520 was the same i was trying to reason why was the same sex attracted like i was falling down all these

00:09:13.040 rabbit holes that this is a result of something terrible that must have happened but nothing

00:09:18.640 terrible did happen right there were things i had grooming online as a very young teenager when i was

00:09:25.600 also trying to explore because the early internet and the internet in general is just a cesspit

00:09:30.480 and very dangerous um and again i come over gender dysphoria and these trans groups when i'm like 0.88

00:09:37.120 24 25 and it was just like oh this is the reason and then it was just not only do you have the reason

00:09:47.440 but you've got a set of instructions on how to fix it and a pathway that you never had before and

00:09:54.160 you've got to understand for someone like me who loves and i love instructions right um i like

00:10:00.160 reading instruction manuals and stuff like that that's quite typical for someone like me right and

00:10:06.480 when somebody says to be happy you do xyz you go down this path you see this person you see this

00:10:12.080 specialist it's like oh yes i'm on the path and it's great um and that and also when you enter this

00:10:18.800 community and they're all very like love bombing you invent like just venerating any pictures you share

00:10:25.680 because uh with even without any very little hormones it didn't take much to even look feminine for

00:10:31.600 for me and that's just because of me the shape of my face right and it's just one of those things right

JustPearlyThings - July 29, 2023

They Tricked Him Into Transitioning

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript