JustPearlyThings - November 07, 2023


This Couple Set A Perfect Standard on Modern Relationship


Episode Stats


Length

26 minutes

Words per minute

200.90819

Word count

5,324

Sentence count

497

Harmful content

Misogyny

32

sentences flagged

Hate speech

35

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode of Couple s Therapy, we talk about how to negotiate the terms of a marriage contract and why it s so important to have a contract. We also talk about why a contract is so important and why you should have one.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 You know, I owe her the journey that my potential promised her because, you know, my wife didn't marry me when I was a fine suit mogul traveling all over the planet, etc.
00:00:14.060 My wife married me when I had just started a company.
00:00:17.220 And so there wasn't really the direct evidence that I would be successful, for example, but there was inferred evidence based on the potential that I have.
00:00:26.260 And, you know, I have this interesting conversation with my wife.
00:00:29.000 I ask her really not for much.
00:00:30.280 One thing I do ask her is to keep her butt in shape, you know, like keep yourself in shape and look good. 1.00
00:00:34.340 We've had four kids, so it's taking more effort.
00:00:36.120 It's just a fact, right?
00:00:37.540 And I say and I say the reason for that is like is really simple.
00:00:41.380 It's because.
00:00:43.520 I have a promise to keep to you, like when you signed up for this, you sign up for a journey.
00:00:47.040 And it is my duty to fulfill my potential to reach the pinnacle of my journey as best as I can reach it.
00:00:53.260 I owe that to her because otherwise she signed up not for the man that she married.
00:00:57.200 She signed up for the man that she got.
00:00:58.800 And, you know, Oscar Wilde has a great quote.
00:01:00.840 He says that.
00:01:04.560 Women marry men hoping that they'll change, but they don't. 1.00
00:01:08.040 And men marry women hoping they won't change, but they do. 1.00
00:01:12.320 Wow.
00:01:12.860 And so it's my job to honor that phrase by changing as much as I can for the better.
00:01:16.800 And it is her job to keep herself appealing to me.
00:01:19.760 And it's worked so far for over 10 years.
00:01:23.060 I love that.
00:01:23.420 We, too, have a no fat clause in our marriage contract.
00:01:26.360 Yes.
00:01:26.600 Oh, yeah.
00:01:26.880 Well, you guys have a marriage.
00:01:27.840 Wait, tell me about the clauses.
00:01:31.240 That's the truth.
00:01:31.720 Oh, my God.
00:01:32.560 Well, there is a no fat clause.
00:01:33.800 There's a no boats clause.
00:01:35.400 No boats?
00:01:35.980 No boats clause.
00:01:36.840 We have clauses on everything.
00:01:38.440 Like, you can't get a boat without my permission.
00:01:41.120 But at least you're both skinny and you're both fit.
00:01:44.060 But what if you expect your wife to look good, but you don't look good? 0.99
00:01:47.340 You expect your wife to have a great butt, but your butt doesn't look great. 1.00
00:01:50.520 It's a no fat clause for both of us.
00:01:51.940 I don't know about that.
00:01:52.620 Okay, so what are your other, I'm just curious.
00:01:56.600 We went through everything on our relationships on Reddit and found out where every relationship
00:02:00.540 fell apart before we got married.
00:02:02.000 Then we negotiated every point before it would get hot.
00:02:04.280 So it has everything from interior temperatures that are allowed and how we negotiate that.
00:02:08.520 Wait, wait.
00:02:08.920 Couples disagree about that all the time.
00:02:10.700 Oh, it's too hot.
00:02:11.560 Oh, it's too cold.
00:02:12.500 But also, like, will we allow our children to watch porn?
00:02:16.200 Corn.
00:02:16.820 Will we allow?
00:02:18.080 How will we deal with aging parents when they want to move in? 0.99
00:02:21.260 How do we deal with finances?
00:02:22.620 All of that is pre-negotiated.
00:02:23.840 You should sell that list.
00:02:25.500 We actually give it away to people who read our book.
00:02:27.420 We, like, have a template.
00:02:28.320 You can just download it.
00:02:29.360 Wow.
00:02:29.840 Yeah.
00:02:30.580 Because you should negotiate this stuff.
00:02:32.380 That sure explains the angry boat salesman from earlier, huh?
00:02:36.380 Sorry, can I just ask a question?
00:02:37.680 So what if, like, one of you, like, do gain weight?
00:02:40.340 Uh-huh.
00:02:40.860 What happens then?
00:02:41.600 Well, so, yeah, this is actually the really interesting thing about relationship contracts is normally
00:02:45.620 the implied social contract, the classic one, right?
00:02:48.420 You cheat, I leave, right?
00:02:50.100 Right, right.
00:02:50.480 You know, very rarely do people leave, and then suddenly nothing in the contract, the
00:02:55.820 social contract, you know, be nice to me, be faithful, all rules are now on the table,
00:03:01.000 right?
00:03:01.220 So what is written out in our contract is, you know, if you break this rule, it will hurt my feelings.
00:03:08.560 And it's understood that if you hurt my feelings enough times, eventually I'm going to decide this isn't worth it anymore.
00:03:13.600 He's going to decide it's not worth it anymore.
00:03:15.120 And that's a real practical contract.
00:03:17.360 The point of the negotiation and all the clauses and terms isn't to get to that point of failure.
00:03:22.060 It's to avoid it in the first place by having shared social contract terms.
00:03:27.400 But then let's say if the whole weight gain is due to then a medical factor.
00:03:33.300 Yeah.
00:03:34.180 How would then you go, how would you go about that?
00:03:36.220 There would be forgiveness and understanding, but also there would be the understanding between the two of us that one of us is no longer attractive through no fault of their own.
00:03:43.120 Yeah.
00:03:43.380 But that is going to hurt the relationship.
00:03:44.940 Maybe a partner has to find if they really want to have, you know, sex with someone who is attractive.
00:03:49.480 Maybe it would be understood in the relationship that it's fine for them to go find it elsewhere.
00:03:52.820 AI girlfriend.
00:03:53.700 AI girlfriend.
00:03:54.480 Maybe.
00:03:55.480 Maybe.
00:03:56.680 But, you know, I think that that's, it's a practical thing.
00:03:59.880 But these are, these are, the more important thing is that you've negotiated the terms and you have a shared understanding.
00:04:05.800 Yeah.
00:04:06.060 Then what happens when the rules get broken?
00:04:07.760 Because we know what happens.
00:04:08.720 You're, you know, the relationship becomes less valuable to one or both partners.
00:04:12.200 But, um, obviously, aren't the vows like free sickness and in health?
00:04:17.520 Oh, our, and our marriage vows, which we wrote, because, you know, we had a secular wedding in a law library.
00:04:23.240 Um, we actually said out loud, I do not promise to love you, but I do promise to help you become the person you want to be.
00:04:29.700 Uh, because you cannot control who you love.
00:04:31.940 Love is, is, is a, uh, your body.
00:04:34.620 To promise to love someone forever?
00:04:36.400 Like, what a twisted thing is that?
00:04:38.040 Love is an emotion.
00:04:39.240 You don't control it.
00:04:40.240 But what I can promise my wife is to every day attempt to try to become the vision that she sees for me.
00:04:47.940 And I think one of the most toxic things in a marriage that is affirmed by our society right now is to marry someone who loves you for who you are.
00:04:54.700 Instead of who you have the potential to be.
00:04:57.460 Yes.
00:04:57.700 And the most important thing when you marry someone isn't who they are, isn't even who they have the potential to be.
00:05:04.460 It's who they think you have the potential to be.
00:05:07.060 Because if that is not somebody you want to become, that marriage is doomed before it started.
00:05:11.960 But if it is somebody who you want to become, and everybody knows this.
00:05:14.580 So people are like, oh, your wife can't change you. 1.00
00:05:16.080 Everybody knows your social group, your friend group.
00:05:17.780 It changes you, you know?
00:05:19.080 Your wife, your spouse, they can't change you.
00:05:22.080 She has changed me.
00:05:23.480 And without her, I would be a shell of who I am today.
00:05:26.360 So what you're saying is that, I don't know, a man has a responsibility to be useful and reach his potential.
00:05:32.080 That's a succinct way of saying that.
00:05:33.460 If only had somebody mentioned that earlier.
00:05:35.280 In such an eloquent way that surmised everything you said to self-perfection.
00:05:38.800 Yeah, for both of them, guys.
00:05:42.200 We should do a podcast at some point.
00:05:44.200 Yeah.
00:05:44.800 Why?
00:05:45.320 You'd say the same thing.
00:05:46.800 Go ahead.
00:05:47.320 Fewer words.
00:05:48.880 Say that when this conversation started, my wife introduced herself as Mrs. Malcolm Collins.
00:05:54.740 And the reason she did that is that is the way that women used to introduce themselves. 1.00
00:05:58.700 Because a relationship and life is a journey away from the self.
00:06:02.820 You start as the atomic unit.
00:06:04.400 When you get married, you truly become part of a team that is presumably inseparable.
00:06:11.140 And then through your kids, you become a story.
00:06:13.360 You become separated from even the physicality of the body.
00:06:16.480 And that's how you pass forwards in generations.
00:06:18.720 And, yeah, I think that this is a beautiful way to contextualize one's life and to not cling.
00:06:27.920 This is when we talk about the forces that are disrupting marriages.
00:06:30.660 One of the core ways they have done this is to atomize marriages. 0.50
00:06:33.860 To try to make it so that you are not really with your partner.
00:06:38.220 And I think in many ways, even some concepts of the nuclear family do that.
00:06:43.080 I say when they first started destroying the marriage was when they took the father out of the home.
00:06:48.260 And I think that hopefully, you know, if you look at the 1800s, the corporate family where they all work together, that was the dominant type of family in America.
00:06:54.540 And I think that in a post-COVID world where working from home becomes more common.
00:06:59.080 And I hope we can put political pressure on politicians to make it easier to work from home and to make these CEOs who say, oh, people shouldn't work from home.
00:07:05.180 I was actually thinking that that's, like, a good middle ground for mothers.
00:07:11.420 But, like, because now there's more cities that are requiring two incomes, the cost of everything's growing up.
00:07:19.520 I was actually thinking that could potentially be a solution for people that don't have the option for the mom to stay home.
00:07:25.280 It's a game changer.
00:07:26.520 She's going to 15-minute cities now. 0.98
00:07:28.200 She's part of the plan.
00:07:30.100 What do you mean 15-minute cities?
00:07:31.960 That's a topic for another time.
00:07:34.280 What does working from home have to do with the 15-minute cities?
00:07:37.040 That's the whole, anyways, let's pass the WF agenda for a minute and keep this off camera.
00:07:41.600 But, anyways, yeah, that's the whole postulation of the 2030 agenda is the 15-minute city.
00:07:46.980 Oh, really?
00:07:47.400 Yeah, and so they want to put, anyways, into basically, like, electronic zones that we can't leave.
00:07:51.380 You can't leave, yeah.
00:07:52.260 Yeah, it gets weirder after this.
00:07:53.880 Wait, so do you think it's bad if the mom, I was just thinking that would be a potential way for the mom to have an easier time.
00:07:59.600 It's a huge way.
00:08:00.400 You're absolutely right.
00:08:01.480 100%.
00:08:01.760 I was going to say, you guys, like, had a secular wedding.
00:08:04.200 Do you live a secular life, or is this, because everything you're saying is, like, of course we're doing theology.
00:08:07.980 We're extremely religious, but we're secular Calvinists, so.
00:08:12.880 We have a constructed religion.
00:08:14.020 Do you remember how I said some people have lost their traditions and they have to rebuild things?
00:08:17.440 I was speaking from experience.
00:08:18.800 You know, we didn't have traditions, but we knew that they would bring value and meaning to our kids.
00:08:23.520 And so we just thought through things and said, how can we convey the values that we share through traditions that we give to our kids?
00:08:30.100 What is, I don't know, I don't know.
00:08:34.320 I'm still sorry, probably.
00:08:37.140 Why don't we hog the attention, you know?
00:08:40.740 Wait, so you made your own religion?
00:08:43.860 Sorry, as you say things and I don't know what they mean.
00:08:46.180 Sorry, I'm a little crazy.
00:08:47.560 It's one of my problems.
00:08:48.340 So, what are many?
00:08:50.260 So, essentially, what we raise our kids believing is, like, okay, so if your descendants are still around in a million and ten thousand years,
00:08:57.440 they'll probably be closer to the way you would imagine a deity to the way you would imagine a man.
00:09:01.000 Who's to say that they relate to time the way you do?
00:09:04.180 Maybe they're rewarding you every day for every action you take that ensures a flourishing, pluralistic future for the human species.
00:09:12.860 And they punish you when you indulge in vanity, when you indulge in anything that has to do with the self.
00:09:20.120 And I think if you search your emotions, you will see this is true.
00:09:23.020 Every time, you know, you forsake the future of hopefully our species, the human planet, you will feel a draining of your vitality.
00:09:36.820 And eventually, you have nothing.
00:09:38.300 You're turning your future generations into actual God. 0.81
00:09:41.100 Yeah, descendant worship.
00:09:42.160 Like, actually, literally, that's what you're doing, yeah.
00:09:43.660 Exactly.
00:09:44.160 Yeah.
00:09:44.580 That's our religion.
00:09:45.300 Oh, really?
00:09:45.760 So, I guess, I can surmise it in a much more compact and eloquent way.
00:09:48.360 Well, I mean, there you go.
00:09:50.240 As eloquent as you.
00:09:51.220 What do you guys think?
00:09:52.580 What do you owe your future wife? 0.98
00:09:54.800 And what does she owe you?
00:09:56.740 So, let's start with what I owe my future wife.
00:09:58.920 So, I owe her my loyalty, my unconditional love, stability as a man.
00:10:10.380 I said, unconditional love.
00:10:13.600 Just my respect for her, you know, being the bearer of my children.
00:10:18.980 Acknowledgement sometimes.
00:10:20.140 There's obviously more, but that's all that I can think of at the moment.
00:10:28.160 Everything.
00:10:29.400 Can I point to the obvious?
00:10:30.880 That's exactly what a woman wants, though. 1.00
00:10:32.760 In terms of...
00:10:33.240 Sorry, what you said is exactly what a man wants.
00:10:35.740 A man wants respect.
00:10:36.760 A man wants acknowledgement.
00:10:37.860 A man wants loyalty.
00:10:38.740 And a man wants stability.
00:10:39.880 Yeah.
00:10:40.080 So, you want to offer to your wife what a woman offers to the relationship. 0.99
00:10:43.300 Well, a woman needs stability for sure. 1.00
00:10:44.760 Otherwise, why am I getting...
00:10:45.760 But it's a woman that brings stability to the home. 1.00
00:10:47.720 That's the whole point.
00:10:48.560 Yeah, but as a man, if I'm going out to work my nine-to-five, bringing the money home,
00:10:52.340 she needs stability to work the house. 1.00
00:10:54.360 Right.
00:10:54.500 So, that's where I'm coming from.
00:10:56.620 Really?
00:10:56.980 I feel like women are much more chaotic and men are more stable. 1.00
00:11:00.680 Obviously.
00:11:01.380 Oh, okay.
00:11:02.100 So...
00:11:02.340 No, but of course.
00:11:03.320 Okay.
00:11:04.460 That's like the Jordan Peterson view.
00:11:06.160 We practice short and shield marriage, or shovel and shield from Shovel Knight. 0.70
00:11:13.760 But the idea being that in our marriage, and there's different ways you can relate to gender
00:11:17.160 roles, we see the woman's role as being the protector of the family, i.e. she's in charge 0.83
00:11:21.720 of the steady income.
00:11:22.840 And then the man's role, with the sword, is to push forwards.
00:11:26.360 And what that means is he does like the venture capital stuff, the starting the companies,
00:11:30.100 the media pushes, which is meant to raise the family status.
00:11:33.260 And so, the woman protects the family stability-wise, while the man advances the family's goals 0.79
00:11:38.720 in the world.
00:11:39.980 Can you explain that a little more?
00:11:41.020 There's a biological basis for this, right?
00:11:43.520 You know, men have high testosterone.
00:11:45.520 What does testosterone enable?
00:11:46.940 It enables aggressive behavior, risk-taking behavior, basically go big or go home.
00:11:50.600 Right.
00:11:50.820 That is really good for instability.
00:11:52.820 That's good for the venture capital, not the, you know, bond hole.
00:11:55.160 Think about like a Viking.
00:11:56.400 Yeah.
00:11:56.500 Like, the woman stays home and tends the farm, and the man goes out and gets the plunder and
00:12:00.300 brings it back.
00:12:01.020 Or, you know, smart in community.
00:12:02.400 It's not good for instability.
00:12:03.000 It's good for bringing order to instability.
00:12:05.180 No, but you see, and that is why, I actually agree with them.
00:12:07.280 That's an outside conversation.
00:12:07.540 I actually agree with them, because that is why, in the past, it was actually the woman's 0.99
00:12:12.300 family that used to bring the dowry.
00:12:14.360 Yeah.
00:12:15.260 Because the woman's family brings the dowry that gives the family the stability, and 0.99
00:12:19.540 then the man builds upon that.
00:12:20.120 That's not consistent across all cultures.
00:12:22.840 That's actually...
00:12:23.340 It's actually consistent across a lot of cultures.
00:12:26.300 It's just over time, it's shifted.
00:12:28.740 It's shifted in a lot of cultures.
00:12:30.080 There's different futile reasons for that.
00:12:32.180 But I understand your argument.
00:12:32.820 It's just the premise of it.
00:12:33.760 That was a different...
00:12:34.900 In America, it was from the... 0.92
00:12:37.320 In the UK, it was from the woman's side.
00:12:40.840 But I think in Africa...
00:12:42.740 King, is it in African cultures?
00:12:44.520 It's more from...
00:12:45.020 It was in Africa as well, but it's also shifted after a while.
00:12:47.940 In Africa, in the Middle East, it was always from the man's side. 0.98
00:12:49.900 But there's different ideological reasons for that.
00:12:52.760 The argument doesn't quite correlate.
00:12:55.060 But imagine a relationship where a woman is trying to bring order to a man. 0.98
00:12:59.880 And that's a devastating relationship, right?
00:13:01.980 Because then you're trying to basically become the man's mother. 0.78
00:13:04.200 A mother brings order to a man, right? 0.73
00:13:05.800 So it is, in fact, a man's job to create order. 0.97
00:13:08.440 And the whole thing about this thought train, right?
00:13:09.980 Like, men have a higher propensity for risk-seeking behavior.
00:13:12.540 But that propensity for risk-seeking behavior is in order to bring the outside world into order.
00:13:17.240 But that's a discussion that's going to be quite lengthy, quite deep.
00:13:19.600 Yeah, yeah.
00:13:20.420 It sounds like we're talking about dominance maybe more than order, but whatever.
00:13:23.720 Okay.
00:13:24.140 Sorry, say that again.
00:13:24.920 That's a really interesting...
00:13:26.040 Say it again.
00:13:27.060 It sounds like we're talking about dominance rather than order.
00:13:29.360 Okay.
00:13:29.820 Can I ask you?
00:13:30.340 That's a great point.
00:13:31.220 I'd love to dig on that one.
00:13:32.780 How would you differentiate the two?
00:13:35.000 Order is systematizing.
00:13:36.400 Order is putting everything in its place.
00:13:37.680 Order is making sure, you know, it's making the schedule, the itinerary, packing the picnic basket.
00:13:42.780 Dominance is saying, this is how it's going to be.
00:13:44.660 I'm setting a boundary.
00:13:46.260 This is the family's vision.
00:13:47.980 And I think that one is very masculine and very feminine.
00:13:49.340 And can I tell you why that argument breaks down immediately?
00:13:51.900 Yeah, sure.
00:13:52.140 Because as a business owner and a businessman who owns a company with offices across 26 countries,
00:13:56.680 if I go to the market and I say to the market, this is what you're going to want, this is how it's going to be,
00:14:00.060 the market's going to say, if you, Dimitri, you're not buying it because people vote with their dollars, right?
00:14:03.800 And so a man cannot bring dominance to the market.
00:14:05.660 A man can only bring order to the market and it's only what the market desires.
00:14:08.440 So that argument is...
00:14:10.040 You're talking about the market, not a marriage.
00:14:12.220 A marriage is a market. 0.98
00:14:13.980 Can we just agree to this story that we all live our lives differently?
00:14:17.820 And what works for one doesn't have to work for the other.
00:14:20.200 But as long as you're happy, I'm happy.
00:14:22.580 I love that word, happy.
00:14:24.480 You're a smart guy.
00:14:25.220 I think you'll figure it out.
00:14:27.260 So what do you think?
00:14:28.500 I mean, you're talking about a list that goes on and on and on.
00:14:32.160 But for me, a lot of things, love, respect.
00:14:38.900 For me, it's just a whole element that can contribute to happiness.
00:14:43.280 Yeah.
00:14:43.840 What about you?
00:14:45.200 Yeah, I think men, generally, in my opinion, I think we should provide financial stability, security.
00:14:52.760 I think those traditional things shouldn't really die, shouldn't really go away.
00:14:57.680 I think love, respect, communication, a lot of the things everyone has already said.
00:15:02.880 But I think those are the basic things.
00:15:04.840 You know, like as a man, I think, you know, they're very important things.
00:15:07.540 And if you provide that, I feel like you could have a successful relationship and marriage as well.
00:15:14.280 And by the way, dominance and order are the same thing in prison.
00:15:16.820 But only between men.
00:15:21.420 When women enter the market, it changes because women, who's choosing the, who is waiting at the finish line to pick their mate? 1.00
00:15:30.000 Okay, I'm good at that.
00:15:31.060 Women are waiting at the finish line and they pick the winners. 1.00
00:15:33.260 Do you contextualize cleaning?
00:15:34.800 Like, what do you think of that?
00:15:35.700 Is that bringing order?
00:15:36.720 Is that like a separate thing?
00:15:38.220 So the theological view would be order within the home versus outside the home.
00:15:42.640 Cleaning is bringing order within the home.
00:15:44.140 So I personally view that as a woman's duty. 0.99
00:15:46.240 And a lot of people disagree, but that's, that's how I choose.
00:15:48.780 I think women are messier than men in 2023. 1.00
00:15:51.700 Yeah.
00:15:54.100 I'm not sure about that.
00:15:56.040 We just, we just hired it better.
00:15:57.980 There's no way I can get ready with girls. 1.00
00:15:59.920 Messy.
00:16:00.380 As if like even clothes on the ground.
00:16:01.880 Crazy.
00:16:02.460 I just think gross.
00:16:03.740 Like, I mean, have you seen a girl's bathroom? 1.00
00:16:05.500 Oh my God.
00:16:06.180 Just trying to say it.
00:16:06.940 Scary.
00:16:08.000 It's disgusting.
00:16:09.020 Toilet seat.
00:16:10.140 Oh, it's disgusting.
00:16:11.100 I haven't put my face on the pillows.
00:16:14.420 Okay, I'm going to read Super Chats up. 0.56
00:16:16.240 Really quick.
00:16:17.280 Tech review.
00:16:18.200 Tom.
00:16:19.160 Blue suit is a psychopath.
00:16:22.200 Glenn Lawrence.
00:16:24.600 Sorry.
00:16:26.000 Glenn Lawrence.
00:16:27.100 There was a thing called a bride price. 0.99
00:16:29.840 Juan Figuero.
00:16:31.180 Pearl, I love you.
00:16:32.340 Tell the guy in glasses he's a beta.
00:16:35.480 Sorry.
00:16:36.720 Juan.
00:16:38.240 Feelings lead to divorce compromise.
00:16:41.020 Wait.
00:16:41.300 Feelings lead to divorce compromises everything.
00:16:44.580 Thane Matra.
00:16:45.880 Out of pocket.
00:16:47.280 No one needs to see your bits at 70.
00:16:50.660 Thank you, Thane.
00:16:51.900 I actually, I gave women until 32 today. 0.83
00:16:55.900 Yes.
00:16:56.900 Thanks for that.
00:16:57.900 I was thinking 27, but I was like, you know what?
00:17:01.820 Let's give them, let's give them a couple years in there. 0.99
00:17:03.900 No, that's fine.
00:17:06.280 F.S.
00:17:06.780 Claire, when a man can have a robot that won't destroy him in family court, take his kids, 1.00
00:17:11.880 and have an artificial room, women will finally get it. 1.00
00:17:14.780 Technology will bring men the peace women refuse to give them. 1.00
00:17:18.460 Good luck.
00:17:20.040 Glenn Lawrence.
00:17:20.780 She's a bodybuilder, competitor, and coach. 1.00
00:17:24.280 Juan.
00:17:24.900 Women want us for resources. 1.00
00:17:26.480 We want them for fertility and beauty. 0.97
00:17:28.260 Why would we want a modern career woman that is masculine? 1.00
00:17:31.340 How is that, how that impacts, I'm guessing the kids maybe.
00:17:36.160 Tech review.
00:17:37.400 Tom.
00:17:38.640 Women are attracted to ambition in men. 0.99
00:17:40.720 Glenn Lawrence.
00:17:41.680 It's not that women don't have anything to offer. 0.99
00:17:43.360 It's that they, what they offer gives them the thing that gets them, wait, it's that
00:17:48.820 they offer what gives them the thing that gets them the fastest sense of satisfaction.
00:17:54.460 Glenn Lawrence asked, oh, I asked that question already.
00:17:58.000 I'm going to refresh it.
00:18:00.680 Um, I think we're good.
00:18:04.720 Go ahead.
00:18:05.580 Well, I've got to respond to this, because this brings up something that we have in male
00:18:08.960 culture that's very similar to women constantly trying to be young. 0.57
00:18:11.740 When a man is in a long-term monogamous relationship, his testosterone goes down.
00:18:17.480 When a guy has kids and he's in any way involved in raising them, his testosterone goes down.
00:18:21.820 With every kid he has.
00:18:23.380 The male body, when a man is a dedicated father in a monogamous relationship, is going to look 0.92
00:18:29.700 like a beta male if you were in your 20s.
00:18:32.940 Chasing that constant alpha 20s look throughout your entire life means that you aren't spending
00:18:39.060 time on the things you should be if you are a great dad.
00:18:43.300 And at the end of the day, I don't care, like, what these guys think of me.
00:18:47.640 I care that my wife is satisfied and that I have a lot of kids.
00:18:50.840 I think you can have your cake and eat it, too, at this point, because the first time
00:18:55.580 I came on Pearl's show, I was surprised.
00:18:57.520 She said, hey, come on the show.
00:18:58.220 I said, sure.
00:18:59.100 And all the comments were about how fat I was, and I realized very quickly that I need
00:19:02.760 to get my ass back in shape, right?
00:19:04.020 And the reason I realized that is because I have also two sons, and I want to set an
00:19:09.780 example for my sons that I do put myself through pain and suffering by lifting heavy things.
00:19:15.700 And so when you talk about, like, yes, you're right, the testosterone does drop when you
00:19:18.660 get married, the testosterone drops.
00:19:19.980 Having a woman around, testosterone drops with each kid you have. 0.97
00:19:22.780 But you can also take deliberate actions to increase your testosterone, like lifting heavy
00:19:26.740 objects and other nutrients in the way that you choose to live your life, right?
00:19:30.740 Ah, but remember, he said he wanted to please his wife, and nerdcore is my type.
00:19:36.440 Hot, hot.
00:19:39.360 I'm between you guys gazing at each other.
00:19:41.760 Should I move?
00:19:42.120 Sparks are flying.
00:19:43.320 Sparks are flying.
00:19:44.260 But here's the thing.
00:19:45.240 He sends photos to me.
00:19:46.560 He doesn't post online.
00:19:47.860 I think these guys who are trying to, you know, look like they're in their 20s, look like
00:19:52.440 they're, you know, high testosterone males when they're pair-bonded and they have kids are
00:19:57.100 very similar to those women in bikinis with their boobs out, posting on Instagram. 1.00
00:20:00.740 Who's the audience?
00:20:02.780 I'm Malcolm's audience.
00:20:03.560 My sons.
00:20:03.920 My sons.
00:20:04.860 The audience is my sons.
00:20:05.680 Yeah, your sons.
00:20:05.700 I understand that.
00:20:06.240 I'm serious.
00:20:06.520 Like, the audience is my sons.
00:20:07.780 And I appreciate that.
00:20:08.600 And you should have a body that works for your sons.
00:20:10.420 You should have a body that shows that you can be fit and healthy.
00:20:13.120 Malcolm is fit and healthy, but he's also trying to be hot in the way I like hot, and
00:20:17.200 he's hot in the way I like hot.
00:20:18.660 Oh, flip it, all right.
00:20:20.280 You're giving hope to a lot of-
00:20:22.120 You're giving hope to a lot of-
00:20:23.540 You're giving hope to a lot of men watching this show.
00:20:24.540 I have to encourage this.
00:20:26.620 I love it.
00:20:27.280 I love it.
00:20:27.740 Okay.
00:20:28.400 Very nice show today.
00:20:30.940 I think we're going to close out.
00:20:32.600 So, now is the time in the show where you give your final thoughts.
00:20:35.800 Any topic you want to speak your piece on, you can shout out your social media handles,
00:20:40.480 whatever.
00:20:41.080 Start here.
00:20:41.920 Go around, and then second row.
00:20:43.440 I need a J official. 0.98
00:20:46.420 Oh.
00:20:46.760 Oh.
00:20:47.440 I'm good.
00:20:49.600 Guys, make sure you go in and check out my music.
00:20:51.720 I've got new songs coming out soon.
00:20:53.320 My name's Remy Jean, it's two E's on the Jean, and yeah, DM me, send me a message.
00:20:58.980 I'm quoting my mother again.
00:21:00.780 She goes, back in the day, it used to be about slow reaction, now it's quick action.
00:21:05.280 So, what you do, we'll come back to you.
00:21:07.180 And also, check out Channel 4, I bought this girl that was mentoring from years ago onto
00:21:12.900 TV, and now she's doing very, very well in giving opportunities to the Jamaican diaspora
00:21:18.040 because we need to have some shine.
00:21:19.780 So, yeah, I don't really need to shout out to social, just you'll see my face.
00:21:23.300 There you go.
00:21:24.060 Love it.
00:21:25.480 Pearl, thank you so much for having us.
00:21:28.020 Thank you as well, Ty.
00:21:29.920 My name is Gigi Tanasi.
00:21:31.440 I'm an artist.
00:21:32.160 Please follow me on the gram, Gigi Tanasi official.
00:21:35.560 Thank you.
00:21:37.840 There's a lot of evil and a lot of bad in our society today, but thank God the forces
00:21:41.980 arrayed against good are not as competent as they are malevolent.
00:21:46.820 This should be an easy battle to win, and we'd love it if you joined us over on our podcast
00:21:50.800 or YouTube at Base Camp, or you can always check out our book series, The Pragmatisguide
00:21:54.600 series.
00:21:56.780 Hey, guys, I am Dimitri.
00:21:58.740 You can find LGFG, like look good, feel good, lgfg.com.
00:22:02.560 I am on a mission to teach young men and women how to make a million dollars a year.
00:22:07.820 I'm on a mission to help people become more self-sustained and build their personal value
00:22:12.320 so that they can take care of others.
00:22:13.900 I define leadership as what you, I define leadership as the impact you have on others in your lives.
00:22:18.100 I think everybody knows a person or has heard about a person that when you meet that person,
00:22:21.180 your life gets a little bit better.
00:22:22.160 And I hope that you aspire to be that person for others.
00:22:27.820 And if you're looking for a career and you're stuck in a career that's not fulfilling to
00:22:31.260 you and you want to grow, to give you guys like some background, tomorrow morning I'm
00:22:35.660 with Jordan Peterson.
00:22:37.080 He's a client of ours delivering his suit.
00:22:38.760 Then I head up to Manchester, to Tommy Fury, and then over to Ozzy Osbourne.
00:22:43.560 That's the kind of clients we have.
00:22:44.600 That's the kind of stuff we do.
00:22:45.540 And I can teach you the same.
00:22:46.840 LGFG, look at feelgood.com.
00:22:49.660 Nice.
00:22:50.220 Yeah.
00:22:50.440 We'd love to see you over at Basecamp.
00:22:53.300 It's a really fun podcast.
00:22:54.780 But also, I think what Malcolm has been emphasizing over and over is that if you don't like the
00:23:00.300 culture you're growing up in, if you're not happy, and if you're not happy with your options,
00:23:03.720 you can build your own path.
00:23:05.620 You know, just hack your way through the jungle with a machete.
00:23:08.640 It's totally doable.
00:23:10.380 And I think we're going to have to do that.
00:23:12.140 You know, the Pandora's box has been opened with the internet with a whole lot of stuff that
00:23:15.920 we can't put back.
00:23:16.840 So let's forge a new path if you can't find one that you like.
00:23:20.440 Um, yeah.
00:23:21.960 So my name is Jaden Dominique.
00:23:23.360 I want to thank you, Paul, and everybody else here for having me and inviting me.
00:23:27.620 Um, my final thought would be, um, well, let me give you a little brief thing here.
00:23:32.820 So I used to work in a nine to five, um, used to work and live in check to check.
00:23:37.380 I've then taken a leap of faith to work for myself and to invest in myself and believe
00:23:42.160 in myself.
00:23:43.340 Um, and so far it's going good.
00:23:44.860 So if anybody who's just looking for that leap of faith to just do their own thing and make
00:23:48.620 their own business, I'll say go for it.
00:23:50.440 Cause I've done it and it's working for me.
00:23:52.320 So yeah.
00:23:54.900 Love that.
00:23:55.860 Um, my name is Ty, founder of LDNRBS, a group of young kids that literally, and I have a member
00:24:01.920 here too, but a group of young kids that came out, um, with creative ideas and just loads
00:24:07.680 of things in general in a youth club that was designed to get kids off, um, the streets
00:24:13.740 and have ended up influencing a lot of creators all across the UK.
00:24:18.100 So yeah, LDNRBS.
00:24:20.840 Yeah.
00:24:21.300 And I'd like to firstly, thank you for the opportunity.
00:24:23.960 I think these conversations are very, very important.
00:24:25.800 And I really, really hope that, you know, we can make a change in this world because
00:24:29.540 I think it is necessary.
00:24:30.660 I think he is getting to that, into a point where it's like, yeah, it's going to be crazy
00:24:36.080 if we don't change ourselves.
00:24:37.640 So I think these conversations are very important and yeah, like, you know, I've taken a lot
00:24:42.280 away.
00:24:42.680 I think we all have, you know, different opinions a little bit, it was a little bit heated,
00:24:46.840 but I think he made it like a, you know, it was a very interesting show.
00:24:50.700 Um, and yeah, I just hope that we can, we can make a positive impact and change in, in this
00:24:55.020 world.
00:24:55.440 Um.
00:24:56.240 But yeah, co-founder of LDNRBS, check us out.
00:24:58.340 You know, um, I also do music.
00:24:59.940 So follow me as well.
00:25:00.900 Tykeezy, T-Y-K-W-E-Z-I.
00:25:03.340 Nice.
00:25:04.260 All right, guys, make sure you like the video on your way out.
00:25:08.620 That's the most important metric that YouTube uses to push out these streams.
00:25:11.720 So please guys, get it to a thousand likes before you go.
00:25:15.760 Also guys, make sure you subscribe to our two clips channels, Just Pearly Clips and Pearl Daily.
00:25:21.660 Um, also we're hiring for an editor in London.
00:25:24.540 So if you edit, uh, Just Pearly Things 1.
00:25:27.360 And we're also, we're also looking for YouTube talent in London.
00:25:31.080 So if you're interested, you know, message me.
00:25:33.160 Like the video on your way out.
00:25:34.640 Subscribe to the channel.
00:25:35.800 And we'll talk to you next time.
00:25:37.880 Ciao.
00:25:39.160 What the show, bro?
00:25:41.700 Yeah, it was Mets.
00:25:43.160 Cool.
00:25:44.700 Ah, that was so much fun.
00:25:47.380 You were so hot.
00:25:49.040 You were really good.
00:25:49.880 Yeah, it was like a Nika J. 1.00
00:25:52.120 As many of you know, I was just banned on Tik Tok and we are demonetized on a daily basis
00:26:04.120 on this platform.
00:26:06.220 If you want to help, please consider sending a super thanks below.
00:26:10.560 Every donation helps and it helps make what we do possible.
00:26:14.380 Thank you.