JustPearlyThings - November 22, 2023


This DELUDED Lady Gets DISMANTLED for Planning to Be Childless


Episode Stats


Length

33 minutes

Words per minute

214.16196

Word count

7,169

Sentence count

645

Harmful content

Misogyny

33

sentences flagged

Toxicity

36

sentences flagged

Hate speech

25

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Jennifer Aniston said she has no regrets about not having kids and feels free now that the pressure of having kids is off the table. Do you think modern women can be happy without having kids? Is it possible to have a child if you don t have one?

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Is that what I put? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's okay. So today's topic is, can modern women be happy
00:00:04.780 without children? And the reason that we thought of this topic today is because Jennifer Aniston
00:00:10.340 at 53 did an interview about IVF and fertility treatments in the pursuit of motherhood. She said
00:00:16.480 that treatments began several years ago in her late 40s. She didn't give a timeline. Jennifer
00:00:21.560 Aniston said that she was motivated by the success of her contemporaries having children late,
00:00:25.700 like Hilary Swank and Janet Jackson had kids at 48 and 50 respectively. Jennifer now knows how much
00:00:32.140 of an outlier these women are now, but didn't do the research when she was younger. Jennifer admitted
00:00:37.440 that she had all the money in the world, but was not able to get pregnant. Jennifer says she has no
00:00:42.760 regrets and feels free now about that the pressure of having kids is off the table. So question for
00:00:51.720 the women. Do you think that women can be happy without children? Go ahead. Yeah, I think, I think 1.00
00:01:00.820 they can be happy. I know loads of women that put their career first nowadays. And I think a lot of 0.97
00:01:06.840 people kind of underestimate how much a child will change your life because it's not something that
00:01:13.580 goes away. Like if you want to go out for dinner or all the things you can do when you're by yourself
00:01:20.080 without a child, you can't do them. You always have to have childcare. You know, it costs a lot of money.
00:01:24.520 Childcare is very expensive. And there's always stress. There's always the worry of, is my child
00:01:32.420 healthy? Is my child safe? And I think that when you don't have a child, it seems very attractive.
00:01:40.140 And in a lot of ways it is if it's your dream to have a child. But you also like have to compromise a lot
00:01:46.840 of your own life. So I feel like it really depends on where you stand and what your mindset is if you
00:01:52.620 would like to have a child. Obviously, some people, since they're young, they want to have a child and
00:01:57.360 you know, they want, they want to be a stay at home wife and you know, they want the family life and 1.00
00:02:02.080 stuff. But I feel like nowadays a lot of women are also like, you know what, to be honest, I have so many 0.67
00:02:06.920 dreams and goals for myself. And if a child would come in the picture, it's going to be more difficult.
00:02:12.340 And I also don't want to, you know, be there less for my child. Because the minute you put your career
00:02:20.080 first, for example, for myself, if I'm a singer, and let's say I would go on a tour, am I going to drop
00:02:25.020 my child with a nanny 24-7? Because that child is not going to be happy to see me 10 minutes a day
00:02:30.620 reading her a book or reading him a book. Like that's not what parenting is. So it's all these factors
00:02:36.460 come into play. And I've been a nanny. I've seen it. I used to nanny for a billionaire family. And the parents
00:02:44.500 literally sometimes would leave for like four weeks. And then the child is with a nanny for 24-7. And the
00:02:50.300 child calls the nanny mommy. So I feel like, you know, it's, it's very hard. And I, you know, when people say to
00:02:57.520 me, I don't want children, I think a lot of people judge them. But because I'm a nanny, I've seen how much of a 0.92
00:03:03.460 pressure it is. People that shouldn't have kids have kids. Exactly. And then for them, for them,
00:03:08.320 a child is like a Prada bag. It's like sick. I can put my, I can put my money when I die. I can give 0.59
00:03:13.840 my money to a child. But at the end of the day, you've been with your child for like 10%. That's it,
00:03:19.120 you know? And then they drag their children to like all these events. And they act like they're the
00:03:25.220 great mom. And it's like, babes, you weren't here the whole day. And they're like, oh yeah,
00:03:30.580 she's done this at school. And then the most funny thing is that my old nanny children would
00:03:35.300 be like, mom, you're just showing off. You're never here. And I would be like, or they would
00:03:40.240 be to people like, do you miss your mom? And they were like, no, all she does is party and wear funky
00:03:44.900 clothes. I was like, oh my days, that kid is six. So it's like. At six? Yeah. Yeah. Wow. So,
00:03:51.940 and that's also a thing. Children are highly intuitive. Like they know, you know, that's why children,
00:03:58.300 you know, when children really gravitate towards like certain people, and to some people, they
00:04:03.020 don't, it's because they feel safe with certain people. Yeah, exactly. So yeah, I think, I think
00:04:10.240 you can be happy. But if it's really your, your dream to have a child, and then it all comes falling
00:04:15.980 down, because you can't have children, then it's a different, different convo, I guess.
00:04:19.820 That's true. When we go around, I also want you guys to say if you want kids yourself. So do you
00:04:25.460 want kids? Yeah, yeah, I do want kids. You do. Okay. And then you want to go next? So I have an eight
00:04:29.960 year old. Oh, you have an eight? I am a mom. Okay. But I make sure it's very, sorry. I have an
00:04:36.040 eight year old. I am a mom. So, but I'm not, it wasn't planned. And I'm not maternal in that
00:04:41.020 way. So I feel like if I haven't, if I didn't have him then, like now, couldn't imagine anything
00:04:47.280 different. But then every, literally every person that I said, oh, I'm having a baby,
00:04:50.900 they were like, why? But it's just like, it just wasn't, it wasn't in the plan. But like,
00:04:59.800 I'm not, I make sure my time is very, I treat my job as a job. I treat my socialising as like,
00:05:06.140 I did like totally separate as in like, it's not, I've never, I never take anything away from
00:05:11.020 him. He has my full attention at all times. He's my priority at all times. So in that sense,
00:05:16.440 it's like, from a mom's point of view, like, I would have been, if you'd asked me before
00:05:24.200 I had him, I'd have been like, I don't know if I'm ever going to have kids. Like, it just
00:05:28.880 wasn't in my plan. But now, because he's there, like, I would not imagine life without him.
00:05:35.980 Like, he's my best friend. We do all, like, I don't know, the bond, the bond is just that,
00:05:40.880 like, no one can describe it. If you're a mom, you feel that. But I also have like, best
00:05:44.740 mates that I've said to be like, I feel like I'm just not going to have kids. And then
00:05:50.540 it's not like they say it as if they're not going to be happy. It's just like, it's just
00:05:55.200 not in their plan at that moment. But I feel like it's your situation. It's all to do with
00:05:59.500 your relationship. And you're never going to have a kid in like a bad, when you're in
00:06:04.040 a bad space, unless it's accidental, obviously. So I feel like if you're planning to have kids
00:06:08.940 and you want to have that family life where you're married, you're kids, you settle down,
00:06:12.040 and that's what, that's like your dream. You cannot be happy without that, because that's
00:06:16.200 your tunnel vision. You want that. So that's what it is. Whereas some people don't have
00:06:20.780 that as their dream. Some people want to be ambitious and like, build so much more in
00:06:27.560 a career sense. Then so it's like, what's your priorities? Do you want the family life?
00:06:31.680 Do you want this life? Or do you want an in between? Are you ever going to be happy with
00:06:35.120 either? Do you feel like you would have been equally happy if you didn't have a child?
00:06:38.420 Hmm. It's all, I don't know. That's an hard question because like, I was happy, but I was
00:06:45.920 very young. I had him at 21. So it's like at 21, what, like, what worries do I have really?
00:06:51.620 Yeah. You know what I mean? I didn't know life as I do now. Whereas I feel like if I saw
00:06:56.880 myself at 21, I would have said, no, I'm not having kids yet. Blah, blah, blah. But me at 29,
00:07:02.360 like, and then if you ask me that, I'd be like, no, I'm not going to. Whereas at 29, I'd be like,
00:07:07.340 I don't know what I would have. I still live my life. We're going, like, we do things a lot
00:07:12.980 together. Like, I don't see, I don't see why yes to not be there for me to not have fun.
00:07:17.580 Like, we go on dates together. Every Sunday we do a good doer's dates. Like, that's my life
00:07:22.740 partner at the moment. Do you want more kids? It just does. Hmm. In my situation, I'm single,
00:07:28.520 so no. Okay. Like, but it would not to say that would. For the right guy. Would you have
00:07:33.500 more kids? Okay. Yeah. Okay. What about you? Do you want kids? So I always wanted to be a
00:07:38.560 young mom. Um, and then I turned 30 this year and I actually had like a midlife crisis. Cause
00:07:45.340 I was like, I have no kids. I have no relationship. Like my career is good, but I want that like
00:07:51.680 old school family, like that love, that life. And I did get sad thinking like, I'm not going
00:07:58.720 to just settle and like have someone's kid just for the sake of having a kid. Like I want
00:08:02.660 the, the whole package. So if I can't have that, like, am I ever going to have kids?
00:08:07.920 And I did actually have a conversation with my mom the other day and I was like, do I
00:08:11.540 need to freeze my eggs? And it was like a serious thing. Cause I was like, what if I meet
00:08:15.680 someone in a couple of years and you know, like your body, you don't know what's going to
00:08:20.280 happen to it as a woman. So it's quite a scary thing. If it's something that you want. 1.00
00:08:25.060 Okay. What do you think? Um, I, from a personal perspective, do I want kids first of all? Yes,
00:08:34.060 I do want children of my own. Um, I think obviously that some of the ladies have said, um, society 1.00
00:08:40.560 pressures women to kind of think that that's sort of the role to go down, the road to go 0.99
00:08:45.180 down, to have children, have a family, be a wife potentially. Um, and I think especially
00:08:50.260 where you reach a certain, well, women anyway, are on a biological clock, whether we like it or not, 0.93
00:08:56.040 we are. And I think that keeps us, some of us, up at night knowing that. So, um, having
00:09:04.180 the thought of having children for most women is obviously a priority for most of us, but obviously 0.89
00:09:11.920 we would like, most women would like a relationship, a foundation, a family. I think in today's society, 0.83
00:09:17.260 looking at a lot of the relationships, especially the ones that are put on platforms and social media,
00:09:21.940 a lot of them seem to be failing and collapsing. So I think, no shame, but it's full talk. So I think
00:09:29.120 in one hand, you want, yes, yeah, you do want children, but at the same time, you don't want
00:09:33.920 to just settle down with anybody and end up in a worse situation. There are plenty of women out there 1.00
00:09:38.580 that are single mums and are doing a great job, but still have always said they would have preferred
00:09:43.840 to have done this with a partner. Um, so I think it's down to the individual finding their happiness.
00:09:50.140 I think, like some people have said already, it depends on who you are, what you call and class
00:09:56.320 as happiness, because some people's happiness are traveling, exploring, um, and some people
00:10:02.480 are just free spirited and they're interested in other things. Other people have that tunnel vision
00:10:06.960 of wanting kids and a family. So to answer the question in terms of happiness, it comes, it will
00:10:12.460 be obviously down to the person, but I definitely think that women should be selfish in their 1.00
00:10:24.280 decisions so that they're not in predicaments and allow themselves to be pressured by, by not
00:10:31.840 even just by society, by immediate people, like family and friends.
00:10:34.640 How do you know it's society and not biology? Um, you know, like we've done something in a
00:10:38.640 certain way for thousands of years.
00:10:40.480 I think it's a bit of both. I think because we all know that we're on a biological clock,
00:10:46.480 we have like, we're all thinking the same thing, but also I think, I don't know, obviously we
00:10:52.620 have things like social media where you see people uploading at a certain age that they're
00:10:57.320 married. I've got lots of friends of mine that are engaged or about to walk down the aisle
00:11:01.480 at the moment. And where you've been socialized to go to school at a certain age with your age
00:11:08.480 mates. Then you graduate, you get a job. You've been conditioned that at a certain age, you
00:11:16.480 do the same thing as your age mates. When you get to a certain age and people around you
00:11:19.480 are doing certain things like getting proposed to, and you're not, it kind of does make you
00:11:23.480 feel a type of way from being completely real. So did that answer your question?
00:11:26.480 I'm not going to lie. I don't want children. And I think when I was younger, I used to think...
00:11:42.480 How old are you? I'm 23.
00:11:44.480 And you don't want kids already? I'm 24 next month. Yes.
00:11:46.480 You're 24 and you don't want kids already? I used to, when I was younger, I was like,
00:11:50.480 oh, maybe if I'm... How much younger? You're only 24.
00:11:52.480 No. When I was like 19, 18, 21, whatever, I used to think that maybe if I met somebody
00:12:00.480 that really wanted children, I might change my mind and I might be like, you know what?
00:12:04.480 Maybe one kid. But as I'm getting, the older I'm getting, the more I hear about, first of all,
00:12:10.480 pregnancy. Secondly, raising a child. Second, like it takes up so much of your life. And 0.98
00:12:17.480 maybe I'm selfish. Maybe I'm not. I don't know. But at this point in my life, I think
00:12:21.480 to myself, I'm like, do I genuinely want to raise a kid? No, I don't. I like children
00:12:27.480 as well. That's the funny part. I love children. If my friends had kids, I'm going to be the
00:12:32.480 fucking auntie that's fucking, do you know what I mean? I'm going to spend money on you. 1.00
00:12:36.480 But to have my own child that I'm raising 24-7, I'm not doing those sleepless nights.
00:12:41.480 How would you think about being like 55 and childless? Like, you're cool?
00:12:45.480 As long as me and my babies are traveling, having a good time, I'm not finna have children.
00:12:50.480 Okay. I'm not going to lie. Okay. And then what about you?
00:12:54.480 I think it depends on what type of person you are. So if you're one of them people, depends
00:12:58.480 on other people to be happy. Like, you rely on other people's happiness for your happiness.
00:13:03.480 You're going to want kids to make you happy. Like, I've got friends who have got like kids
00:13:07.480 that shine and stuff like that. And I've got friends who can't have kids, but all they want
00:13:12.480 is a kid. But I know if they have that kid, it's going to make them happy. So I think it
00:13:17.480 depends on your own person, who you are, whether you want kids or not. And whether it just depends
00:13:22.480 on what brings you happiness, really, I think. So some people's happiness is kids, some people's
00:13:26.480 it's not, some people's traveling. Do you know what I mean? So to me, it don't really matter.
00:13:30.480 I want kids. I want two kids. And I'm done.
00:13:34.480 So, okay, guys. Just show of hands. How many of you want to be married?
00:13:39.480 If he comes through with the ring. Because, yeah.
00:13:44.480 Okay. So other than that, you two do? You want to be married? You don't? No? Okay. So three out of four.
00:13:51.480 Would you guys, would you want a long-term partner? Like, you'd be with a girl for 20 years. Would you do that?
00:13:58.480 Yeah. Okay. Okay. So would you guys see the point of being or getting married or being with a long-term partner if you didn't get kids out of it?
00:14:06.480 See, that's the thing. Like, for a lot of women, some women might say they don't want kids. But if you are saying that, because the majority of men want kids.
00:14:16.480 So if you're saying that, then it might be a possibility that you may be alone, because the person that you get with are most likely going to want kids. So I think, yeah.
00:14:25.480 And what about?
00:14:27.480 Yeah, I would find it hard to, like, take it seriously. Like, because I know deep down for me, like, it's true. Like, I've got to be real. Like, I couldn't really look at the relationship as a serious one.
00:14:42.480 If I'm not really, at some point, going to bear children and it, like, for me as a man, like, I know, like, I want to leave a legacy. I need my family to grow. I need my name to carry on. That's always been a big thing for me and my family.
00:14:54.480 I think that's a man thing as well. Like, all men, we want to leave a legacy. We don't want to just be in here.
00:14:59.480 What if you lot are the problem and you lot are the ones who can't have kids? What if you're shooting blanks?
00:15:04.480 That's a really good question.
00:15:07.480 You lot are the problem.
00:15:09.480 You can't blame me. You ain't blaming me, because you don't want, you can't. 0.97
00:15:13.480 Minority though, not majority. A majority of men can have kids.
00:15:16.480 Well, I don't know about that. I'm just saying that what if.
00:15:21.480 What do you think is going to be the problem? The people that have been on birth control for 10 years?
00:15:25.480 No, but not every girl is.
00:15:28.480 Not every girl is these days and age, because of what it does to you.
00:15:31.480 Yeah, but then they have how many abortions? 1.00
00:15:34.480 That's up to them. That is up to them.
00:15:36.480 It's a lot though. It's a lot of girls, to be fair. 1.00
00:15:39.480 Is it?
00:15:40.480 Yeah, from what I hear from them.
00:15:43.480 It speaks from experience up.
00:15:45.480 Wait, wait, wait. Do you think that abortions reduce the chance of you having children in the future?
00:15:49.480 It does, though.
00:15:50.480 Is that a fact?
00:15:51.480 In some cases it does.
00:15:52.480 Maybe.
00:15:53.480 Does it depend on the type of abortion or just abortions in general?
00:15:56.480 In general.
00:15:57.480 I don't know that.
00:15:58.480 I'm not going to pretend to be like a science super.
00:16:01.480 I'm just kidding.
00:16:02.480 Maybe it's a type.
00:16:03.480 I'm just kidding.
00:16:04.480 I'm just kidding.
00:16:05.480 Okay, okay.
00:16:06.480 When I was a kid, everyone was getting on birth control, right?
00:16:09.480 And logically, I was thinking, I just feel like if you stop your fertility, that's bad.
00:16:13.480 Same.
00:16:14.480 Same.
00:16:15.480 I was never really, like I was on it a little bit, but never really.
00:16:20.480 And I remember all my friends were talking to me, like when I said this to them at like 16, 17, whatever,
00:16:25.480 they all were looking at me like I was nuts. 0.93
00:16:27.480 And then 10 years later, it fucks with your hormones, it does all this stuff. 0.88
00:16:31.480 So I just think logically, like, I don't know if you're taking something that like kills the child that's growing in you.
00:16:38.480 I just can't imagine that's great.
00:16:40.480 I have mixed feelings about that because there's so many types of contraception in general.
00:16:45.480 And birth control that is in the pill every day is honestly very chaotic in terms of how good it is for you in terms of your fertility in the future.
00:16:54.480 But I feel like it's, there's so many like advances in science in general that we don't know how it's going to like the repercussions in general,
00:17:01.480 how it's going to affect you.
00:17:02.480 So I feel like it's not quite, it's all an experiment.
00:17:06.480 Do you know what I mean?
00:17:07.480 And if taking birth control is better for you.
00:17:10.480 And do you know what?
00:17:11.480 I'm actually pissed off at the fact that there's so many, like, we could spend so much time and so much energy
00:17:17.480 and so much money on birth control in terms of adjusting men, but we don't.
00:17:21.480 In terms of what?
00:17:22.480 What do you mean?
00:17:23.480 Adjusting men.
00:17:24.480 As in them being responsible?
00:17:25.480 No, no, no.
00:17:26.480 I mean, not just condoms.
00:17:27.480 Sorry, no shades.
00:17:28.480 Just like birth control.
00:17:30.480 As in like, we have, we have birth control that stops us from releasing eggs,
00:17:35.480 or we have birth control that pauses the period or whatever, but we don't have birth control.
00:17:39.480 Yeah, but the emphasis is on the women. 1.00
00:17:41.480 Why?
00:17:42.480 Because they're the one that's going to be carrying the child. 1.00
00:17:44.480 So?
00:17:45.480 So that means you, because if anything, obviously the guy can, can leave.
00:17:48.480 He can, but might have to pay some money.
00:17:50.480 What's that to do with what I'm saying?
00:17:51.480 Oh, because nine months of pregnancy.
00:17:53.480 Yeah.
00:17:54.480 That's why.
00:17:55.480 I'm not talking about pregnancy.
00:17:56.480 I'm talking about the conception.
00:17:58.480 Yeah, but you're taking it to stop pregnancy.
00:18:00.480 Yeah, but the men can also stop.
00:18:02.480 Cause we don't play the game, that's why.
00:18:04.480 Yeah, but we have all the power.
00:18:06.480 Like, I'm sorry, we have every power.
00:18:08.480 We have every power when it comes to not having a child.
00:18:11.480 Yeah, that's fair.
00:18:12.480 There's 41 forms of birth control.
00:18:13.480 Yeah, that's true.
00:18:14.480 That's what I'm saying.
00:18:15.480 Plan B.
00:18:16.480 Abortion.
00:18:17.480 That's what I'm saying.
00:18:18.480 There's so many forms of birth control for the woman, but there's so few for men. 0.99
00:18:22.480 Why?
00:18:23.480 There must be a reason scientifically.
00:18:24.480 I'm sure there is, but I just don't know what it is.
00:18:27.480 I'm just...
00:18:28.480 I think it has to do with, with the, that we carried a child.
00:18:31.480 Yeah.
00:18:32.480 Because at the end of the day, yeah, he's right.
00:18:34.480 If they leave, I'm stuck with a big belly for nine months, going through every trimester.
00:18:40.480 Like, it's not fair, but life isn't fair.
00:18:42.480 But at the end of the day, like, they're not going to carry the baby in their belly.
00:18:46.480 So I feel like, logically, when they started doing birth control, they were like, okay,
00:18:50.480 who's the first person that is suffering with this?
00:18:53.480 But also, the period is for, like, hormones as well.
00:18:54.480 Yeah, but I think she's trying to say.
00:18:55.480 It's not just necessarily, like, people go on it because they, like, their periods are so bad.
00:19:00.480 Yeah.
00:19:01.480 That it kind of, like, balances, or they have, like, too much oestrogen or something like that.
00:19:06.480 I don't know, I'm not on it for that reason, but...
00:19:08.480 Is there anything that would make you want to have kids?
00:19:13.480 Or would you, like, if you met someone, would you say it with chess and say, I don't want kids?
00:19:17.480 I've said it before.
00:19:18.480 And it's quite funny, actually, because you mentioned that the fact that a lot of women would, like, end up alone
00:19:24.480 if they told someone that they didn't want children in general.
00:19:28.480 I don't think that's true, because I have told people, like, if you ask me, oh, do you really want kids?
00:19:32.480 I'm like, no, not really.
00:19:33.480 Does every man on here want kids?
00:19:35.480 Yeah.
00:19:36.480 Majority.
00:19:37.480 Majority in a very, very small sample size.
00:19:40.480 Like, let's think about...
00:19:41.480 You just said a small sample size because you said a guy that...
00:19:43.480 I'm curious.
00:19:44.480 No, no, I'm just talking about it.
00:19:46.480 I'm curious, guys off camera, does anyone not want children from the men?
00:19:50.480 Anyone?
00:19:51.480 Okay.
00:19:53.480 No, no.
00:19:54.480 I'm just curious.
00:19:55.480 Does anyone not, like, doesn't want kids?
00:19:57.480 Is anyone saying yes?
00:19:58.480 Majority.
00:19:59.480 No, I don't think anyone.
00:20:00.480 Maybe I'm in the minority and that's completely fine.
00:20:01.480 They're probably just trying to sleep with you. 0.82
00:20:03.480 Yeah.
00:20:04.480 You know what?
00:20:05.480 It is what it is.
00:20:06.480 That's completely fine.
00:20:07.480 But, like, I just, I don't know.
00:20:09.480 I feel like a lot of people have children because they feel like they're supposed to,
00:20:14.480 rather than because they genuinely want children.
00:20:16.480 How old did you say you are again?
00:20:17.480 I'm 23.
00:20:18.480 So, one thing you did say is that when you was 19, you was all over having kids.
00:20:23.480 No, I didn't.
00:20:24.480 That's not what it said.
00:20:25.480 I said I was more likely to be persuaded into having one child, but as I've gotten older,
00:20:30.480 the more I've learned, the less I want children.
00:20:32.480 Okay.
00:20:33.480 A kid's for life, so you've got to understand that one.
00:20:35.480 Exactly.
00:20:36.480 Like, even when you're 56-year-old, that is your baby.
00:20:38.480 For life.
00:20:39.480 That's for life.
00:20:40.480 As soon as you have a child, your entire life goes to the child, whether you want it 0.51
00:20:44.480 or not. 0.99
00:20:45.480 And the thing is, if I had a child, 100%, I'd be fucking devoted to my baby. 0.82
00:20:49.480 But do I want to be complete? 0.67
00:20:51.480 Well, it's just interesting because, like, when people list the reasons that they don't
00:20:56.480 want to have children, you kind of admitted this early on.
00:20:58.480 Like, it's why they say modern women are selfish. 1.00
00:21:00.480 Because everything's about me, me, me.
00:21:01.480 It's like, I don't want to give up my free time.
00:21:03.480 I don't want to give up my job.
00:21:05.480 I don't want to give up my, my, my, my.
00:21:07.480 Why not though?
00:21:08.480 But there's a problem being selfish though.
00:21:10.480 Why not be selfish?
00:21:11.480 Because you're not selfish and you, and you choose to be naive and blindfolded and act
00:21:15.480 like you can do everything and you do a half-hearted job at perhaps being a mother.
00:21:20.480 I agree.
00:21:21.480 Like, I agree with what you were saying about the nannies.
00:21:23.480 Like, I'm not saying every single person should have kids, but usually the people that don't
00:21:26.480 have kids, I would say are selfish.
00:21:28.480 Nah, you have to be selfish. 0.90
00:21:29.480 You have to be selfish.
00:21:30.480 You know what?
00:21:31.480 I genuinely disagree with that.
00:21:33.480 I'm sorry.
00:21:34.480 That's really crazy.
00:21:35.480 Being selfish for a woman has a shelf life, to be honest. 1.00
00:21:38.480 Shelf life in what way?
00:21:39.480 In a sense where, like, you can be selfish up to a point, but then you kind of got to
00:21:44.480 make a decision in it, like, for a man's time.
00:21:46.480 Yeah, but it's not fair as a kid.
00:21:47.480 Like, I couldn't have a kid with my life right now.
00:21:50.480 I think...
00:21:51.480 Which is understandable, but that doesn't mean, like, you still don't have a shelf life
00:21:56.480 on being selfish.
00:21:57.480 Yeah, I do.
00:21:58.480 I need you to elaborate on shelf life and being selfish.
00:22:00.480 Okay, as you said earlier, like, obviously there's a certain time limit on obviously
00:22:06.480 when a woman can... 1.00
00:22:07.480 I didn't do that, but yeah, sure.
00:22:08.480 Well, possibly not.
00:22:09.480 Sorry, yourself.
00:22:10.480 There may be a certain time limit on having a child.
00:22:12.480 So, obviously you can be selfish up to a point, but then sooner or later, you've got
00:22:16.480 to kind of make the decision whether you obviously want a child or you don't.
00:22:19.480 That's...
00:22:20.480 I agree.
00:22:21.480 You know what?
00:22:22.480 Yeah, I completely agree.
00:22:23.480 I think if you've known from young that I genuinely want children, 100%. 0.99
00:22:29.480 If you want children to fucking have your babies, like, I don't mind that. 1.00
00:22:33.480 Do you know what I mean? 1.00
00:22:34.480 Like, if you want your baby...
00:22:35.480 If you want 10 kids, have 10 kids.
00:22:37.480 I don't mind that at all.
00:22:38.480 In fact, I want my friends to have kids so I can be an auntie.
00:22:41.480 Do you know what I mean?
00:22:42.480 Are you scared?
00:22:43.480 I don't want to be pregnant. 1.00
00:22:44.480 That's what I mean.
00:22:45.480 I hear it.
00:22:46.480 Of course I'm scared.
00:22:47.480 So it's because you're scared of the child?
00:22:48.480 No, it's not because I'm scared, but also the responsibility that comes with a child is so
00:22:53.480 much for me.
00:22:54.480 I'm barely functioning as a human being.
00:22:56.480 I do not want to take care of another human being as well.
00:22:58.480 And I'm not saying, like, that's fine.
00:23:00.480 I'm all about people doing what they want to do.
00:23:02.480 I don't even think that every single girl should have a... 1.00
00:23:04.480 There's a lot of people that shouldn't have kids.
00:23:05.480 No, but I think the people that shouldn't have kids are usually too selfish to have children.
00:23:09.480 Like, just like...
00:23:10.480 You know, it's also a scary thought because you were talking about age earlier, yeah?
00:23:14.480 And you were saying, what if you're 55?
00:23:16.480 And I'm thinking, yeah, I want children.
00:23:18.480 But let's say I wouldn't want children, yeah?
00:23:20.480 And at 55, I'm home with 80 cats because no one...
00:23:24.480 I'm sorry, but it can happen, you know?
00:23:26.480 And then I'm like, hmm, it would have been nice to have someone that...
00:23:30.480 And at 55, you kind of switch to, like, the men's perspective.
00:23:34.480 Yeah, because, you know, they start to treat you like they treat the men 0.56
00:23:38.480 because people aren't attracted to you as much anymore.
00:23:40.480 Nice.
00:23:41.480 I just want to take it back to the point that you made about
00:23:44.480 if you don't want kids, you're selfish.
00:23:46.480 I actually genuinely disagree with that.
00:23:48.480 Because to me, especially the points that you guys have made for wanting kids,
00:23:53.480 it's like, I want to carry on my legacy, my legacy.
00:23:56.480 You're talking about yourself. That's inherently selfish.
00:23:59.480 But you're a part of that legacy, too. 0.99
00:24:01.480 No, no, no, I don't give a fuck about the legacy. 0.98
00:24:03.480 Well, not you, but I mean, I'm just going to lie. 0.99
00:24:05.480 Why not? Why not?
00:24:06.480 Why does it matter?
00:24:07.480 No, women don't care about the legacy. 1.00
00:24:08.480 That's a men thing. 0.79
00:24:09.480 Men don't care about that. 1.00
00:24:10.480 Why not? Why not? I'm asking that.
00:24:11.480 Well, why would it matter what legacy matters to you? 0.52
00:24:14.480 Within a hundred years, my nigga, you're going to be forgotten regardless.
00:24:17.480 Yeah, but that's what my child is for. 0.97
00:24:19.480 Yeah, but two generations down...
00:24:21.480 And they're going to keep having kids too.
00:24:23.480 But they're not going to remember you.
00:24:25.480 So what does legacy mean?
00:24:26.480 They might not remember you personally, but I've heard stories about my great-grandparents.
00:24:29.480 Yeah, right.
00:24:30.480 Like, a lot of people know, a lot of people, if they descended from someone that was like,
00:24:35.480 great, like...
00:24:36.480 They always make fun of me in the comments, Gongus Khan.
00:24:41.480 But seriously, like, people know that they descended from him.
00:24:44.480 And he was alive how long ago?
00:24:46.480 That's really cool, but like, you're dead. 0.98
00:24:49.480 You're dead.
00:24:50.480 Do you get that? 0.94
00:24:51.480 You don't exist anymore.
00:24:52.480 You're not on this earth.
00:24:53.480 You get cool stories.
00:24:54.480 Everyone knows your name and what you did. 1.00
00:24:56.480 What the fuck? 1.00
00:24:57.480 They didn't meet you, or they may have met you, and so what? 1.00
00:25:00.480 I mean, I just think the point is that something, like, bigger than yourself.
00:25:03.480 Like, I'm just thinking if I'm 65 and by myself, like, one, who's going to take care of you?
00:25:08.480 Because someone's got to take care of you in all day.
00:25:10.480 Yeah, but if you don't know any of your friends.
00:25:11.480 And the second part is like, like, you want to die alone?
00:25:16.480 But even by that logic, though, what's the purpose of us doing anything?
00:25:21.480 There would just be no purpose.
00:25:23.480 We're just going to die.
00:25:25.480 Cool. 0.99
00:25:26.480 We're going to die.
00:25:27.480 There's no purpose of us doing anything.
00:25:29.480 I get what you're saying, but by that logic, there would be no purpose for us to be doing anything.
00:25:36.480 There is no purpose for us to be doing anything.
00:25:38.480 How do we do anything?
00:25:39.480 Can I show up?
00:25:40.480 We'll show up here.
00:25:41.480 Come sit up like this.
00:25:42.480 Guys, guys, one at a time.
00:25:43.480 Guys, guys, guys.
00:25:44.480 One at a time.
00:25:45.480 So, do you want to settle down?
00:25:47.480 Settle down with a partner?
00:25:49.480 Yeah.
00:25:50.480 Yeah, of course I do.
00:25:51.480 Just be able, like, that's the thing, no?
00:25:52.480 That's because whoever you settle down with, most likely, they may not, but most likely,
00:25:56.480 they're going to want kids. 0.99
00:25:57.480 Yeah.
00:25:58.480 I'm sorry, is it men?
00:25:59.480 That's why...
00:26:00.480 Whatever.
00:26:01.480 Because it makes a difference.
00:26:04.480 If it's not a man, then obviously you might be all right. 0.98
00:26:07.480 I completely understand that.
00:26:08.480 That's why I make it a good point to be like, hey, if they bring up anything to do with children,
00:26:12.480 or if the conversation comes up, I'm going to be straight up.
00:26:14.480 That's first.
00:26:15.480 I'm not going to lie.
00:26:16.480 I'm not really interested in that.
00:26:17.480 That's first date talk though.
00:26:18.480 And if you're trying to...
00:26:19.480 Legit, I'm going to get into that.
00:26:20.480 Let's get into it right now.
00:26:21.480 Let's get into it.
00:26:22.480 As soon as the food goes on the table, say it straight away.
00:26:25.480 I find it interesting to hear what people say or why they think the way they think.
00:26:30.480 Because I'm like, okay, I might disagree, but okay, you might have points that I hear.
00:26:34.480 Do you know what I mean?
00:26:35.480 The whole point I was making is that, I mean, I'm sure you as a mother could say that you
00:26:38.480 have to put the kid before you.
00:26:40.480 Always.
00:26:41.480 Always.
00:26:42.480 Every situation.
00:26:43.480 Like my kid comes first in every situation.
00:26:45.480 I'm not, like I said, I weren't maternal and everything before.
00:26:48.480 No, I shocked my mum on my child's birthday every year goes, well done.
00:26:53.480 Another year.
00:26:54.480 Another year.
00:26:55.480 You've done it.
00:26:56.480 All my friends and my family, they never expected it from me, but I am like, self-proclaimed.
00:27:03.480 No, I think I'm a good mum.
00:27:05.480 No one said any different to me, but I just never expected it.
00:27:10.480 It won't in the plan, but like it is my priority in every situation in my life.
00:27:15.480 And it just changed your life so much.
00:27:17.480 But if, if you don't want kids, then that's fine.
00:27:20.480 I feel like everyone's got different.
00:27:21.480 It's like saying, what do you want to do for a living?
00:27:23.480 What is, what's your career choice?
00:27:24.480 What's your job?
00:27:25.480 If that's your dream, everyone's totally different, but girls feel the pressure.
00:27:30.480 And with the thing where it was like something to do with having kids and blah, blah, blah.
00:27:34.480 What I was going to say before is for men, it is a legacy because what do you do when you get married?
00:27:39.480 You take the man's name.
00:27:40.480 Then what do you do when you have kids?
00:27:42.480 It takes the man's name.
00:27:43.480 It's carrying on their name.
00:27:45.480 And they're like, they're honoring their dads and their dads before them because you all take their name and you pass it down.
00:27:52.480 And that's what it is.
00:27:53.480 Like we've just been, that's, that's what it is for most people.
00:27:57.480 What if they don't see the dads in that though?
00:27:58.480 I think it's a legacy for women as well.
00:27:59.480 I think it's a legacy for women as well.
00:28:00.480 I think it's a legacy for women as well.
00:28:01.480 I think it's a legacy for women as well.
00:28:02.480 I'm not going to the birth certificate.
00:28:03.480 I'm not going to the birth certificate.
00:28:04.480 But you are like, come in on.
00:28:06.480 Come see me in my pregnancy.
00:28:07.480 I'll let you go and then you go.
00:28:08.480 Generally.
00:28:09.480 Like for me, I think it's cool to have a legacy.
00:28:13.480 Like, yeah, if I get married and have a kid, obviously it won't have my last name, but then that's
00:28:18.480 going to be my last name, which you know what I mean?
00:28:19.480 Yeah.
00:28:20.480 So that's my legacy regardless.
00:28:21.480 I think that's cool.
00:28:22.480 What were you going to say?
00:28:23.480 Can I just take the conversation back?
00:28:24.480 You just, this is for you.
00:28:25.480 If you were ever on a date with a girl that you really, really were into, really liked
00:28:30.480 her, she ticked all your boxes, but she had a deal breaker and well, she said she don't 1.00
00:28:33.480 want kids.
00:28:34.480 She don't want kids. 1.00
00:28:35.480 Would you, wait, wait, no, no, no.
00:28:37.480 You're saying you would bash her away, but I'm just asking you, would you look to persuade
00:28:42.480 her?
00:28:43.480 Would you try?
00:28:44.480 Do you think there's room for that?
00:28:45.480 Do you think there's a possibility that you could sway a woman or like influence her to
00:28:48.480 or would you try to if you really liked her?
00:28:51.480 If a woman's saying to me that she doesn't want kids, I'm not going to try and convince 1.00
00:28:54.480 her.
00:28:55.480 But listen, recreational might be an option.
00:28:57.480 I mean, I, I, this is an option.
00:29:00.480 Sorry.
00:29:01.480 No, but it's not like, why do you want me to like, cause obviously if, let's just say
00:29:06.480 I was having the food, cause I said, when the food comes down, say it because that year
00:29:10.480 is a very big thing, especially to men.
00:29:12.480 It's so funny to me that men talk about having children.
00:29:15.480 It's so jokes to me.
00:29:16.480 Why is it jokes?
00:29:17.480 Because you man don't do any of the work required.
00:29:20.480 Oh my God.
00:29:21.480 Talk about having.
00:29:22.480 What are you talking about?
00:29:23.480 Protecting and providing? 1.00
00:29:24.480 Protecting and providing my ass. 1.00
00:29:25.480 Like what the hell? 1.00
00:29:26.480 What are you talking about? 0.96
00:29:27.480 Okay.
00:29:28.480 Okay.
00:29:29.480 I disagree with that.
00:29:30.480 I mean the physical, hard work required to carry a child.
00:29:34.480 Okay.
00:29:35.480 What's, what's harder, giving birth or raising a child?
00:29:37.480 Raising.
00:29:38.480 It's both of them.
00:29:39.480 Raising a child.
00:29:40.480 I'm sorry.
00:29:41.480 A child is for life.
00:29:42.480 But women have to do both. 1.00
00:29:43.480 Even it might be 27 year old now.
00:29:44.480 I'm not trying to be rude, but like dogs give birth.
00:29:47.480 No, I know.
00:29:48.480 Yeah.
00:29:49.480 Why are we acting like this is so crazy?
00:29:50.480 Like every other species does it.
00:29:51.480 I'm not talking about the giving birth part.
00:29:53.480 It's easy to raise in.
00:29:54.480 You shouldn't say that though.
00:29:55.480 You should have said that though.
00:29:56.480 Say what?
00:29:57.480 Raising a child.
00:29:58.480 You can't just say, oh, we, cause fair enough here.
00:29:59.480 You are right.
00:30:00.480 We don't do the physical part, but there's other things that we have to deal with.
00:30:02.480 Oh, I'm not disagreeing with that.
00:30:03.480 We have to, we have to, we have to, we have to, we have to deal with you like in general.
00:30:06.480 Like it's, it's a very, no, I'm just being real.
00:30:09.480 Like obviously you are very lucky.
00:30:11.480 When you're pregnant, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's touchy. 0.95
00:30:13.480 It's touchy.
00:30:14.480 Okay.
00:30:15.480 Yeah.
00:30:16.480 And as well.
00:30:17.480 Sorry.
00:30:18.480 Wait, wait, wait.
00:30:19.480 You can't wear.
00:30:20.480 It's hard be dealing with a woman that's carrying a whole human being in her stomach. 1.00
00:30:25.480 Yes.
00:30:26.480 Yes.
00:30:27.480 I have, I have a friend right now.
00:30:28.480 Shout out Ali. 1.00
00:30:29.480 Love you.
00:30:30.480 But like, people act crazy when they're pregnant.
00:30:33.480 Why not?
00:30:34.480 Like seven kids.
00:30:35.480 People even act crazy when they're not pregnant.
00:30:37.480 Did you, would you say at times you acted crazy?
00:30:41.480 Probably not.
00:30:42.480 Probably not.
00:30:43.480 Yeah.
00:30:44.480 I mean, no, this is Sean.
00:30:45.480 No, I'm quite, I'm a very laid back to the person.
00:30:48.480 Like everything goes over my end.
00:30:49.480 I just ate more and weird, weird things.
00:30:53.480 Fairly the quid.
00:30:54.480 I just think it's unfair to say that, innit?
00:30:57.480 Not, say that it's.
00:30:58.480 I think more afterwards, mentally, emotionally and mentally.
00:31:02.480 Afterwards, that's the test.
00:31:04.480 That is a big, big test.
00:31:05.480 No matter how, how, sorry pregnant people. 1.00
00:31:08.480 No matter how bad you feel right now, it will get worse.
00:31:11.480 I'm sorry.
00:31:12.480 I'm sorry. 0.99
00:31:13.480 Like, you like someone to look at and think, fuck I love you, but it's bad. 0.99
00:31:17.480 It gets bad. 1.00
00:31:18.480 Hold on.
00:31:19.480 Your emotions are everywhere, your head's everywhere, nothing makes sense.
00:31:22.480 It's, erm, it's a rollercoaster.
00:31:25.480 I get, I get what you're saying.
00:31:27.480 Like, obviously physically, we're not pushing out the baby.
00:31:29.480 But like, what would you actually want the man to do?
00:31:31.480 Like, what can we do?
00:31:32.480 No, I'm not, I'm not saying, it's not your fault that you don't carry a baby. 0.97
00:31:35.480 Okay.
00:31:36.480 But the way you said it was like.
00:31:37.480 No, no, no.
00:31:38.480 You said it.
00:31:39.480 You said it.
00:31:40.480 You was coming for our next door.
00:31:41.480 There was a moment I mixed.
00:31:42.480 I'm like, Jeremy, I can't help it.
00:31:43.480 It just comes out that way.
00:31:44.480 Can you clarify what you meant by that?
00:31:45.480 No, I just meant that.
00:31:46.480 You guys are like, oh yeah, of course that I would want to have children or whatever,
00:31:49.480 whatever.
00:31:50.480 But it's like, I don't know.
00:31:51.480 What do you do to the night feeds?
00:31:53.480 So what?
00:31:54.480 Do you change nappies?
00:31:55.480 Are you there 24-7?
00:31:56.480 No, no.
00:31:57.480 If I need a break, are you there?
00:31:58.480 No, but she said physical.
00:31:59.480 She said physical, that's why. 0.88
00:32:00.480 I'm talking about.
00:32:01.480 Night feeds is physical.
00:32:02.480 It is physical.
00:32:03.480 She's completely correct.
00:32:04.480 I feel like the physical.
00:32:05.480 Even if it's the bottom.
00:32:06.480 Lots of guys do it. 0.98
00:32:07.480 Yeah, there's a lot of guys that do it, but there's a fucking lot that don't. 0.93
00:32:11.480 Yeah, but this is why you choose carefully when you get a child. 0.86
00:32:16.480 100%.
00:32:17.480 You know how many people I've seen, yeah?
00:32:18.480 They have relationship issues and then they think, you know what we're going to do?
00:32:22.480 Let's have a baby.
00:32:23.480 We're having a baby.
00:32:24.480 And this baby, yeah, is going to get born into this toxic relationship.
00:32:29.480 It's going to be the leverage. 1.00
00:32:30.480 It's going to be like, fuck, you acted up. 1.00
00:32:32.480 I'm taking the child. 1.00
00:32:33.480 And you're really minimizing the guy's role though.
00:32:36.480 Like men have to go to work every day and provide for you. 0.98
00:32:39.480 Why are you acting like that's nothing?
00:32:41.480 They have to protect you.
00:32:42.480 If someone breaks into your house, they're the one.
00:32:44.480 As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis
00:32:50.480 on this platform.
00:32:52.480 If you want to help, please consider sending a super thanks below.
00:32:56.480 Every donation helps and it helps make what we do possible.
00:33:00.480 If a baby will have the best one, they will have to survive as much easier.
00:33:02.480 If a baby will have the best one.
00:33:03.480 We are going to support you.
00:33:04.480 We're going to buy up because we remember that.
00:33:05.480 We consider causing cancer zero options.
00:33:06.480 How much impressive is possible.
00:33:07.480 If a baby can't count asplant, we can imagine a hatchаюrus.
00:33:08.480 Tît diet cít baby can mature.
00:33:09.480 We've had to support medical device but alex rebellion is mothers need to be different in 1.00
00:33:10.480 order from home.
00:33:11.480 And it's a uncertain life where children are as desperate.
00:33:12.480 We can dü UA versts gradually Sleeping.
00:33:13.480 You're an YO wi-xy sports plan.
00:33:14.480 This is a mini-iphany political device.
00:33:15.480 That is technically dagen per madre.
00:33:17.480 It's an AI
00:33:27.620 kind of fits.