This DELUDED Lady Gets DISMANTLED for Planning to Be Childless
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Summary
Jennifer Aniston said she has no regrets about not having kids and feels free now that the pressure of having kids is off the table. Do you think modern women can be happy without having kids? Is it possible to have a child if you don t have one?
Transcript
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Is that what I put? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's okay. So today's topic is, can modern women be happy
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without children? And the reason that we thought of this topic today is because Jennifer Aniston
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at 53 did an interview about IVF and fertility treatments in the pursuit of motherhood. She said
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that treatments began several years ago in her late 40s. She didn't give a timeline. Jennifer
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Aniston said that she was motivated by the success of her contemporaries having children late,
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like Hilary Swank and Janet Jackson had kids at 48 and 50 respectively. Jennifer now knows how much
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of an outlier these women are now, but didn't do the research when she was younger. Jennifer admitted
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that she had all the money in the world, but was not able to get pregnant. Jennifer says she has no
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regrets and feels free now about that the pressure of having kids is off the table. So question for
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the women. Do you think that women can be happy without children? Go ahead. Yeah, I think, I think
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they can be happy. I know loads of women that put their career first nowadays. And I think a lot of
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people kind of underestimate how much a child will change your life because it's not something that
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goes away. Like if you want to go out for dinner or all the things you can do when you're by yourself
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without a child, you can't do them. You always have to have childcare. You know, it costs a lot of money.
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Childcare is very expensive. And there's always stress. There's always the worry of, is my child
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healthy? Is my child safe? And I think that when you don't have a child, it seems very attractive.
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And in a lot of ways it is if it's your dream to have a child. But you also like have to compromise a lot
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of your own life. So I feel like it really depends on where you stand and what your mindset is if you
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would like to have a child. Obviously, some people, since they're young, they want to have a child and
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you know, they want, they want to be a stay at home wife and you know, they want the family life and
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stuff. But I feel like nowadays a lot of women are also like, you know what, to be honest, I have so many
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dreams and goals for myself. And if a child would come in the picture, it's going to be more difficult.
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And I also don't want to, you know, be there less for my child. Because the minute you put your career
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first, for example, for myself, if I'm a singer, and let's say I would go on a tour, am I going to drop
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my child with a nanny 24-7? Because that child is not going to be happy to see me 10 minutes a day
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reading her a book or reading him a book. Like that's not what parenting is. So it's all these factors
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come into play. And I've been a nanny. I've seen it. I used to nanny for a billionaire family. And the parents
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literally sometimes would leave for like four weeks. And then the child is with a nanny for 24-7. And the
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child calls the nanny mommy. So I feel like, you know, it's, it's very hard. And I, you know, when people say to
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me, I don't want children, I think a lot of people judge them. But because I'm a nanny, I've seen how much of a
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pressure it is. People that shouldn't have kids have kids. Exactly. And then for them, for them,
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a child is like a Prada bag. It's like sick. I can put my, I can put my money when I die. I can give
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my money to a child. But at the end of the day, you've been with your child for like 10%. That's it,
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you know? And then they drag their children to like all these events. And they act like they're the
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great mom. And it's like, babes, you weren't here the whole day. And they're like, oh yeah,
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she's done this at school. And then the most funny thing is that my old nanny children would
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be like, mom, you're just showing off. You're never here. And I would be like, or they would
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be to people like, do you miss your mom? And they were like, no, all she does is party and wear funky
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clothes. I was like, oh my days, that kid is six. So it's like. At six? Yeah. Yeah. Wow. So,
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and that's also a thing. Children are highly intuitive. Like they know, you know, that's why children,
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you know, when children really gravitate towards like certain people, and to some people, they
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don't, it's because they feel safe with certain people. Yeah, exactly. So yeah, I think, I think
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you can be happy. But if it's really your, your dream to have a child, and then it all comes falling
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down, because you can't have children, then it's a different, different convo, I guess.
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That's true. When we go around, I also want you guys to say if you want kids yourself. So do you
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want kids? Yeah, yeah, I do want kids. You do. Okay. And then you want to go next? So I have an eight
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year old. Oh, you have an eight? I am a mom. Okay. But I make sure it's very, sorry. I have an
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eight year old. I am a mom. So, but I'm not, it wasn't planned. And I'm not maternal in that
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way. So I feel like if I haven't, if I didn't have him then, like now, couldn't imagine anything
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different. But then every, literally every person that I said, oh, I'm having a baby,
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they were like, why? But it's just like, it just wasn't, it wasn't in the plan. But like,
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I'm not, I make sure my time is very, I treat my job as a job. I treat my socialising as like,
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I did like totally separate as in like, it's not, I've never, I never take anything away from
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him. He has my full attention at all times. He's my priority at all times. So in that sense,
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it's like, from a mom's point of view, like, I would have been, if you'd asked me before
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I had him, I'd have been like, I don't know if I'm ever going to have kids. Like, it just
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wasn't in my plan. But now, because he's there, like, I would not imagine life without him.
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Like, he's my best friend. We do all, like, I don't know, the bond, the bond is just that,
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like, no one can describe it. If you're a mom, you feel that. But I also have like, best
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mates that I've said to be like, I feel like I'm just not going to have kids. And then
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it's not like they say it as if they're not going to be happy. It's just like, it's just
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not in their plan at that moment. But I feel like it's your situation. It's all to do with
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your relationship. And you're never going to have a kid in like a bad, when you're in
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a bad space, unless it's accidental, obviously. So I feel like if you're planning to have kids
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and you want to have that family life where you're married, you're kids, you settle down,
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and that's what, that's like your dream. You cannot be happy without that, because that's
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your tunnel vision. You want that. So that's what it is. Whereas some people don't have
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that as their dream. Some people want to be ambitious and like, build so much more in
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a career sense. Then so it's like, what's your priorities? Do you want the family life?
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Do you want this life? Or do you want an in between? Are you ever going to be happy with
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either? Do you feel like you would have been equally happy if you didn't have a child?
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Hmm. It's all, I don't know. That's an hard question because like, I was happy, but I was
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very young. I had him at 21. So it's like at 21, what, like, what worries do I have really?
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Yeah. You know what I mean? I didn't know life as I do now. Whereas I feel like if I saw
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myself at 21, I would have said, no, I'm not having kids yet. Blah, blah, blah. But me at 29,
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like, and then if you ask me that, I'd be like, no, I'm not going to. Whereas at 29, I'd be like,
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I don't know what I would have. I still live my life. We're going, like, we do things a lot
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together. Like, I don't see, I don't see why yes to not be there for me to not have fun.
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Like, we go on dates together. Every Sunday we do a good doer's dates. Like, that's my life
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partner at the moment. Do you want more kids? It just does. Hmm. In my situation, I'm single,
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so no. Okay. Like, but it would not to say that would. For the right guy. Would you have
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more kids? Okay. Yeah. Okay. What about you? Do you want kids? So I always wanted to be a
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young mom. Um, and then I turned 30 this year and I actually had like a midlife crisis. Cause
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I was like, I have no kids. I have no relationship. Like my career is good, but I want that like
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old school family, like that love, that life. And I did get sad thinking like, I'm not going
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to just settle and like have someone's kid just for the sake of having a kid. Like I want
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the, the whole package. So if I can't have that, like, am I ever going to have kids?
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And I did actually have a conversation with my mom the other day and I was like, do I
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need to freeze my eggs? And it was like a serious thing. Cause I was like, what if I meet
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someone in a couple of years and you know, like your body, you don't know what's going to
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happen to it as a woman. So it's quite a scary thing. If it's something that you want.
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Okay. What do you think? Um, I, from a personal perspective, do I want kids first of all? Yes,
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I do want children of my own. Um, I think obviously that some of the ladies have said, um, society
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pressures women to kind of think that that's sort of the role to go down, the road to go
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down, to have children, have a family, be a wife potentially. Um, and I think especially
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where you reach a certain, well, women anyway, are on a biological clock, whether we like it or not,
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we are. And I think that keeps us, some of us, up at night knowing that. So, um, having
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the thought of having children for most women is obviously a priority for most of us, but obviously
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we would like, most women would like a relationship, a foundation, a family. I think in today's society,
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looking at a lot of the relationships, especially the ones that are put on platforms and social media,
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a lot of them seem to be failing and collapsing. So I think, no shame, but it's full talk. So I think
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in one hand, you want, yes, yeah, you do want children, but at the same time, you don't want
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to just settle down with anybody and end up in a worse situation. There are plenty of women out there
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that are single mums and are doing a great job, but still have always said they would have preferred
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to have done this with a partner. Um, so I think it's down to the individual finding their happiness.
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I think, like some people have said already, it depends on who you are, what you call and class
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as happiness, because some people's happiness are traveling, exploring, um, and some people
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are just free spirited and they're interested in other things. Other people have that tunnel vision
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of wanting kids and a family. So to answer the question in terms of happiness, it comes, it will
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be obviously down to the person, but I definitely think that women should be selfish in their
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decisions so that they're not in predicaments and allow themselves to be pressured by, by not
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even just by society, by immediate people, like family and friends.
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How do you know it's society and not biology? Um, you know, like we've done something in a
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I think it's a bit of both. I think because we all know that we're on a biological clock,
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we have like, we're all thinking the same thing, but also I think, I don't know, obviously we
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have things like social media where you see people uploading at a certain age that they're
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married. I've got lots of friends of mine that are engaged or about to walk down the aisle
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at the moment. And where you've been socialized to go to school at a certain age with your age
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mates. Then you graduate, you get a job. You've been conditioned that at a certain age, you
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do the same thing as your age mates. When you get to a certain age and people around you
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are doing certain things like getting proposed to, and you're not, it kind of does make you
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feel a type of way from being completely real. So did that answer your question?
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I'm not going to lie. I don't want children. And I think when I was younger, I used to think...
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And you don't want kids already? I'm 24 next month. Yes.
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You're 24 and you don't want kids already? I used to, when I was younger, I was like,
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oh, maybe if I'm... How much younger? You're only 24.
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No. When I was like 19, 18, 21, whatever, I used to think that maybe if I met somebody
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that really wanted children, I might change my mind and I might be like, you know what?
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Maybe one kid. But as I'm getting, the older I'm getting, the more I hear about, first of all,
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pregnancy. Secondly, raising a child. Second, like it takes up so much of your life. And
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maybe I'm selfish. Maybe I'm not. I don't know. But at this point in my life, I think
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to myself, I'm like, do I genuinely want to raise a kid? No, I don't. I like children
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as well. That's the funny part. I love children. If my friends had kids, I'm going to be the
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fucking auntie that's fucking, do you know what I mean? I'm going to spend money on you.
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But to have my own child that I'm raising 24-7, I'm not doing those sleepless nights.
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How would you think about being like 55 and childless? Like, you're cool?
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As long as me and my babies are traveling, having a good time, I'm not finna have children.
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Okay. I'm not going to lie. Okay. And then what about you?
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I think it depends on what type of person you are. So if you're one of them people, depends
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on other people to be happy. Like, you rely on other people's happiness for your happiness.
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You're going to want kids to make you happy. Like, I've got friends who have got like kids
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that shine and stuff like that. And I've got friends who can't have kids, but all they want
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is a kid. But I know if they have that kid, it's going to make them happy. So I think it
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depends on your own person, who you are, whether you want kids or not. And whether it just depends
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on what brings you happiness, really, I think. So some people's happiness is kids, some people's
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it's not, some people's traveling. Do you know what I mean? So to me, it don't really matter.
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So, okay, guys. Just show of hands. How many of you want to be married?
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If he comes through with the ring. Because, yeah.
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Okay. So other than that, you two do? You want to be married? You don't? No? Okay. So three out of four.
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Would you guys, would you want a long-term partner? Like, you'd be with a girl for 20 years. Would you do that?
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Yeah. Okay. Okay. So would you guys see the point of being or getting married or being with a long-term partner if you didn't get kids out of it?
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See, that's the thing. Like, for a lot of women, some women might say they don't want kids. But if you are saying that, because the majority of men want kids.
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So if you're saying that, then it might be a possibility that you may be alone, because the person that you get with are most likely going to want kids. So I think, yeah.
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Yeah, I would find it hard to, like, take it seriously. Like, because I know deep down for me, like, it's true. Like, I've got to be real. Like, I couldn't really look at the relationship as a serious one.
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If I'm not really, at some point, going to bear children and it, like, for me as a man, like, I know, like, I want to leave a legacy. I need my family to grow. I need my name to carry on. That's always been a big thing for me and my family.
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I think that's a man thing as well. Like, all men, we want to leave a legacy. We don't want to just be in here.
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What if you lot are the problem and you lot are the ones who can't have kids? What if you're shooting blanks?
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You can't blame me. You ain't blaming me, because you don't want, you can't.
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Minority though, not majority. A majority of men can have kids.
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Well, I don't know about that. I'm just saying that what if.
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What do you think is going to be the problem? The people that have been on birth control for 10 years?
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Not every girl is these days and age, because of what it does to you.
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It's a lot though. It's a lot of girls, to be fair.
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Wait, wait, wait. Do you think that abortions reduce the chance of you having children in the future?
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Does it depend on the type of abortion or just abortions in general?
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I'm not going to pretend to be like a science super.
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When I was a kid, everyone was getting on birth control, right?
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And logically, I was thinking, I just feel like if you stop your fertility, that's bad.
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I was never really, like I was on it a little bit, but never really.
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And I remember all my friends were talking to me, like when I said this to them at like 16, 17, whatever,
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And then 10 years later, it fucks with your hormones, it does all this stuff.
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So I just think logically, like, I don't know if you're taking something that like kills the child that's growing in you.
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I have mixed feelings about that because there's so many types of contraception in general.
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And birth control that is in the pill every day is honestly very chaotic in terms of how good it is for you in terms of your fertility in the future.
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But I feel like it's, there's so many like advances in science in general that we don't know how it's going to like the repercussions in general,
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So I feel like it's not quite, it's all an experiment.
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I'm actually pissed off at the fact that there's so many, like, we could spend so much time and so much energy
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and so much money on birth control in terms of adjusting men, but we don't.
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As in like, we have, we have birth control that stops us from releasing eggs,
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or we have birth control that pauses the period or whatever, but we don't have birth control.
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Because they're the one that's going to be carrying the child.
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So that means you, because if anything, obviously the guy can, can leave.
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We have every power when it comes to not having a child.
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There's so many forms of birth control for the woman, but there's so few for men.
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I'm sure there is, but I just don't know what it is.
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I think it has to do with, with the, that we carried a child.
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Because at the end of the day, yeah, he's right.
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If they leave, I'm stuck with a big belly for nine months, going through every trimester.
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But at the end of the day, like, they're not going to carry the baby in their belly.
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So I feel like, logically, when they started doing birth control, they were like, okay,
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who's the first person that is suffering with this?
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But also, the period is for, like, hormones as well.
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It's not just necessarily, like, people go on it because they, like, their periods are so bad.
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That it kind of, like, balances, or they have, like, too much oestrogen or something like that.
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I don't know, I'm not on it for that reason, but...
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Is there anything that would make you want to have kids?
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Or would you, like, if you met someone, would you say it with chess and say, I don't want kids?
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And it's quite funny, actually, because you mentioned that the fact that a lot of women would, like, end up alone
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if they told someone that they didn't want children in general.
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I don't think that's true, because I have told people, like, if you ask me, oh, do you really want kids?
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You just said a small sample size because you said a guy that...
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I'm curious, guys off camera, does anyone not want children from the men?
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Maybe I'm in the minority and that's completely fine.
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They're probably just trying to sleep with you.
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I feel like a lot of people have children because they feel like they're supposed to,
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rather than because they genuinely want children.
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So, one thing you did say is that when you was 19, you was all over having kids.
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I said I was more likely to be persuaded into having one child, but as I've gotten older,
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the more I've learned, the less I want children.
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A kid's for life, so you've got to understand that one.
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Like, even when you're 56-year-old, that is your baby.
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As soon as you have a child, your entire life goes to the child, whether you want it
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And the thing is, if I had a child, 100%, I'd be fucking devoted to my baby.
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Well, it's just interesting because, like, when people list the reasons that they don't
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want to have children, you kind of admitted this early on.
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Like, it's why they say modern women are selfish.
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It's like, I don't want to give up my free time.
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Because you're not selfish and you, and you choose to be naive and blindfolded and act
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like you can do everything and you do a half-hearted job at perhaps being a mother.
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Like, I agree with what you were saying about the nannies.
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Like, I'm not saying every single person should have kids, but usually the people that don't
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Being selfish for a woman has a shelf life, to be honest.
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In a sense where, like, you can be selfish up to a point, but then you kind of got to
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Like, I couldn't have a kid with my life right now.
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Which is understandable, but that doesn't mean, like, you still don't have a shelf life
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I need you to elaborate on shelf life and being selfish.
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Okay, as you said earlier, like, obviously there's a certain time limit on obviously
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There may be a certain time limit on having a child.
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So, obviously you can be selfish up to a point, but then sooner or later, you've got
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to kind of make the decision whether you obviously want a child or you don't.
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I think if you've known from young that I genuinely want children, 100%.
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If you want children to fucking have your babies, like, I don't mind that.
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In fact, I want my friends to have kids so I can be an auntie.
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No, it's not because I'm scared, but also the responsibility that comes with a child is so
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I do not want to take care of another human being as well.
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I'm all about people doing what they want to do.
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I don't even think that every single girl should have a...
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There's a lot of people that shouldn't have kids.
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No, but I think the people that shouldn't have kids are usually too selfish to have children.
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You know, it's also a scary thought because you were talking about age earlier, yeah?
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And at 55, I'm home with 80 cats because no one...
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And then I'm like, hmm, it would have been nice to have someone that...
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And at 55, you kind of switch to, like, the men's perspective.
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Yeah, because, you know, they start to treat you like they treat the men
00:23:38.480
because people aren't attracted to you as much anymore.
00:23:41.480
I just want to take it back to the point that you made about
00:23:48.480
Because to me, especially the points that you guys have made for wanting kids,
00:23:53.480
it's like, I want to carry on my legacy, my legacy.
00:23:56.480
You're talking about yourself. That's inherently selfish.
00:24:01.480
No, no, no, I don't give a fuck about the legacy.
00:24:03.480
Well, not you, but I mean, I'm just going to lie.
00:24:11.480
Well, why would it matter what legacy matters to you?
00:24:14.480
Within a hundred years, my nigga, you're going to be forgotten regardless.
00:24:26.480
They might not remember you personally, but I've heard stories about my great-grandparents.
00:24:30.480
Like, a lot of people know, a lot of people, if they descended from someone that was like,
00:24:36.480
They always make fun of me in the comments, Gongus Khan.
00:24:41.480
But seriously, like, people know that they descended from him.
00:24:57.480
They didn't meet you, or they may have met you, and so what?
00:25:00.480
I mean, I just think the point is that something, like, bigger than yourself.
00:25:03.480
Like, I'm just thinking if I'm 65 and by myself, like, one, who's going to take care of you?
00:25:08.480
Because someone's got to take care of you in all day.
00:25:10.480
Yeah, but if you don't know any of your friends.
00:25:11.480
And the second part is like, like, you want to die alone?
00:25:16.480
But even by that logic, though, what's the purpose of us doing anything?
00:25:29.480
I get what you're saying, but by that logic, there would be no purpose for us to be doing anything.
00:25:36.480
There is no purpose for us to be doing anything.
00:25:52.480
That's because whoever you settle down with, most likely, they may not, but most likely,
00:26:04.480
If it's not a man, then obviously you might be all right.
00:26:08.480
That's why I make it a good point to be like, hey, if they bring up anything to do with children,
00:26:12.480
or if the conversation comes up, I'm going to be straight up.
00:26:22.480
As soon as the food goes on the table, say it straight away.
00:26:25.480
I find it interesting to hear what people say or why they think the way they think.
00:26:30.480
Because I'm like, okay, I might disagree, but okay, you might have points that I hear.
00:26:35.480
The whole point I was making is that, I mean, I'm sure you as a mother could say that you
00:26:45.480
I'm not, like I said, I weren't maternal and everything before.
00:26:48.480
No, I shocked my mum on my child's birthday every year goes, well done.
00:26:56.480
All my friends and my family, they never expected it from me, but I am like, self-proclaimed.
00:27:05.480
No one said any different to me, but I just never expected it.
00:27:10.480
It won't in the plan, but like it is my priority in every situation in my life.
00:27:17.480
But if, if you don't want kids, then that's fine.
00:27:21.480
It's like saying, what do you want to do for a living?
00:27:25.480
If that's your dream, everyone's totally different, but girls feel the pressure.
00:27:30.480
And with the thing where it was like something to do with having kids and blah, blah, blah.
00:27:34.480
What I was going to say before is for men, it is a legacy because what do you do when you get married?
00:27:45.480
And they're like, they're honoring their dads and their dads before them because you all take their name and you pass it down.
00:27:53.480
Like we've just been, that's, that's what it is for most people.
00:27:57.480
What if they don't see the dads in that though?
00:28:09.480
Like for me, I think it's cool to have a legacy.
00:28:13.480
Like, yeah, if I get married and have a kid, obviously it won't have my last name, but then that's
00:28:18.480
going to be my last name, which you know what I mean?
00:28:25.480
If you were ever on a date with a girl that you really, really were into, really liked
00:28:30.480
her, she ticked all your boxes, but she had a deal breaker and well, she said she don't
00:28:37.480
You're saying you would bash her away, but I'm just asking you, would you look to persuade
00:28:45.480
Do you think there's a possibility that you could sway a woman or like influence her to
00:28:51.480
If a woman's saying to me that she doesn't want kids, I'm not going to try and convince
00:29:01.480
No, but it's not like, why do you want me to like, cause obviously if, let's just say
00:29:06.480
I was having the food, cause I said, when the food comes down, say it because that year
00:29:12.480
It's so funny to me that men talk about having children.
00:29:17.480
Because you man don't do any of the work required.
00:29:30.480
I mean the physical, hard work required to carry a child.
00:29:35.480
What's, what's harder, giving birth or raising a child?
00:29:44.480
I'm not trying to be rude, but like dogs give birth.
00:29:58.480
You can't just say, oh, we, cause fair enough here.
00:30:00.480
We don't do the physical part, but there's other things that we have to deal with.
00:30:03.480
We have to, we have to, we have to, we have to, we have to deal with you like in general.
00:30:06.480
Like it's, it's a very, no, I'm just being real.
00:30:11.480
When you're pregnant, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's touchy.
00:30:20.480
It's hard be dealing with a woman that's carrying a whole human being in her stomach.
00:30:30.480
But like, people act crazy when they're pregnant.
00:30:35.480
People even act crazy when they're not pregnant.
00:30:37.480
Did you, would you say at times you acted crazy?
00:30:45.480
No, I'm quite, I'm a very laid back to the person.
00:30:58.480
I think more afterwards, mentally, emotionally and mentally.
00:31:08.480
No matter how bad you feel right now, it will get worse.
00:31:13.480
Like, you like someone to look at and think, fuck I love you, but it's bad.
00:31:19.480
Your emotions are everywhere, your head's everywhere, nothing makes sense.
00:31:27.480
Like, obviously physically, we're not pushing out the baby.
00:31:29.480
But like, what would you actually want the man to do?
00:31:32.480
No, I'm not, I'm not saying, it's not your fault that you don't carry a baby.
00:31:46.480
You guys are like, oh yeah, of course that I would want to have children or whatever,
00:32:07.480
Yeah, there's a lot of guys that do it, but there's a fucking lot that don't.
00:32:11.480
Yeah, but this is why you choose carefully when you get a child.
00:32:18.480
They have relationship issues and then they think, you know what we're going to do?
00:32:24.480
And this baby, yeah, is going to get born into this toxic relationship.
00:32:33.480
And you're really minimizing the guy's role though.
00:32:36.480
Like men have to go to work every day and provide for you.
00:32:42.480
If someone breaks into your house, they're the one.
00:32:44.480
As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis
00:32:52.480
If you want to help, please consider sending a super thanks below.
00:32:56.480
Every donation helps and it helps make what we do possible.
00:33:00.480
If a baby will have the best one, they will have to survive as much easier.
00:33:04.480
We're going to buy up because we remember that.
00:33:07.480
If a baby can't count asplant, we can imagine a hatchаюrus.
00:33:09.480
We've had to support medical device but alex rebellion is mothers need to be different in
00:33:11.480
And it's a uncertain life where children are as desperate.