JustPearlyThings - July 28, 2023


This DEPRESSED Feminist Said This


Episode Stats


Length

20 minutes

Words per minute

187.44522

Word count

3,850

Sentence count

160

Harmful content

Misogyny

36

sentences flagged

Hate speech

16

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about the pros and cons of dating in today's society. We have a guest on the show who shares her experience with dating in her 20s and 30s and how she dealt with the challenges she faced in her relationships.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 So I've been curious, if your parents were together 34 years, why are you so anti-relationship?
00:00:06.800 It seems like you have been a really good model.
00:00:08.120 I've been to quite many relationships, and I just feel like it comes to how deep is the people that I'm...
00:00:19.580 Because I believe I'm a very giving person, and I've just been giving too much and not really appreciated.
00:00:29.300 And they didn't do anything in return?
00:00:32.880 Not really.
00:00:33.900 And I've also been in an abusive relationship.
00:00:37.580 So they never took you on dates?
00:00:41.160 Maybe one time.
00:00:42.480 Okay, so you went on one date, the whole relationship.
00:00:45.140 Yes.
00:00:45.880 And one holiday out of ten with his friends.
00:00:49.040 What?
00:00:50.100 In one holiday out of ten with his friends.
00:00:53.620 So he went ten times with his friends and one with me.
00:00:56.500 Okay, so how long were you with him?
00:00:58.180 One and a half year.
00:00:59.300 One and a half years.
00:01:00.620 So why did you stay so long if he wasn't treating you well?
00:01:04.720 Because I tried and I tried and I tried.
00:01:06.940 I said, okay, cool, maybe it's fine, maybe...
00:01:09.160 How old were you?
00:01:10.820 Just two years ago.
00:01:12.420 Was he rich?
00:01:13.600 I'm 28.
00:01:14.880 Okay, so it was when you were 26.
00:01:16.300 Before that, did you want to get married?
00:01:18.480 I never wanted to get married.
00:01:20.160 So I'm asking, like, why is that?
00:01:22.240 If you had...
00:01:22.740 It seems like you had...
00:01:23.520 Because I just don't feel nowadays people like they're together for the right reason.
00:01:29.800 Like, especially here.
00:01:31.120 I'm not from here.
00:01:31.740 Were your parents together for the right reason, you think?
00:01:34.360 I think so, yeah.
00:01:35.400 Okay, so when did you start feeling like that?
00:01:39.400 Basically, when I came here.
00:01:41.040 Okay, so when you came...
00:01:42.280 I just feel like...
00:01:43.060 How old were you?
00:01:44.640 21.
00:01:45.320 Okay, so when you were 21, your view changed on relationships.
00:01:48.340 No, I came here.
00:01:50.140 And I came in this country, right?
00:01:52.680 Okay.
00:01:53.300 Right.
00:01:54.020 And I just, like...
00:01:56.020 So that here, things are different.
00:01:58.840 It's not like, okay, we like each other, we love each other, we already like to do compromise
00:02:03.460 and all of that stuff.
00:02:04.540 Here is completely different.
00:02:06.080 Here is, like, what you bring to the table.
00:02:07.520 Where are you from again?
00:02:08.580 Greece.
00:02:08.900 Okay, so you're from Greece, so relationships were more simple there.
00:02:11.940 More simple and more like, we like each other, we love each other.
00:02:15.760 I disagree. I'm Greek too.
00:02:19.000 It's not simple at all.
00:02:20.880 I don't know, this is how I felt there.
00:02:23.720 When here, it's like...
00:02:24.920 How many years ago?
00:02:28.000 Yeah, a lot.
00:02:29.460 Yeah, when I was there.
00:02:31.260 Are you from Greece?
00:02:32.900 Yes.
00:02:33.380 Okay, so has it changed?
00:02:36.340 Absolutely.
00:02:36.820 Like, dating there?
00:02:37.680 Absolutely.
00:02:38.240 Like, what was dating like, I don't know, was it more traditional 10 years ago?
00:02:43.420 Yeah, speak about when we were there, not now, because I haven't been there.
00:02:47.080 So, yeah, 10 years ago, I was seeing it different than how it is right now.
00:02:52.400 I think social media, like, played a big role on that, because they somehow diluted the quality of relationships and all the reasons why women do stuff, and men.
00:03:04.520 It tested the loyalty and respect that we have for each other and for each other and for the people that are around us.
00:03:11.360 Sorry.
00:03:11.780 Sorry.
00:03:12.280 Sorry.
00:03:12.320 Sorry.
00:03:12.340 I think it's the social media tested our loyalty and respect that we have for the people around us and for ourself as a person.
00:03:20.740 I don't think it tested, sorry.
00:03:22.040 No, go ahead.
00:03:22.540 And I don't think it's an important country, because it changed it to the world.
00:03:26.120 It changed it globally, not in Greece, not in England.
00:03:29.460 And it's everywhere.
00:03:30.260 Obviously, yeah.
00:03:31.760 Do you think social media changed men or women more?
00:03:36.500 Both of us.
00:03:37.260 Women. 0.81
00:03:38.000 No, both of us the same.
00:03:39.420 Remember, remember, we got to pick one.
00:03:41.040 There's no, we got to pick one.
00:03:42.460 For the generalization, I'd say women.
00:03:44.520 I'd say women. 1.00
00:03:45.420 Women. 0.81
00:03:45.740 Yeah, the key word was more.
00:03:47.520 Come on, I know you can pick one.
00:03:49.800 Men.
00:03:51.840 All right, Mary, she said women, women, men.
00:03:54.600 Women. 0.81
00:03:55.080 Women. 0.81
00:03:55.780 Women. 0.81
00:03:56.700 I don't know, because I don't deal with social media.
00:03:59.460 There is no way you don't know.
00:04:03.100 I don't know.
00:04:04.260 I'm not looking into all of this stuff.
00:04:06.460 I don't know.
00:04:08.180 What do you think?
00:04:09.560 What do you feel?
00:04:10.800 What do you see?
00:04:15.080 I really don't know.
00:04:17.040 I feel like I'm out of all of this Instagram live, all of these people that we follow.
00:04:22.600 I just feel I'm out.
00:04:24.020 It's just me, what I know, and my opinion.
00:04:27.280 I'm curious.
00:04:28.160 Is a girl posting a selfie while in a relationship cheating? 0.72
00:04:32.640 If you think, yes, raise your hand.
00:04:35.700 Posting a selfie?
00:04:36.760 Yeah, a selfie in a relationship cheating.
00:04:38.940 No?
00:04:39.640 Not physical, but yeah, the attention she will get and the replies she will give.
00:04:44.640 Yeah, I think, yeah, I'll say yes.
00:04:45.740 Yes, anyone else say yes?
00:04:48.400 Okay.
00:04:49.040 Is a guy DMing another girl cheating?
00:04:51.880 Raise your hand.
00:04:53.200 Yes.
00:04:53.840 I mean, that's a bit...
00:04:54.660 In a relationship, yes.
00:04:55.600 If the girl does the same, it's to flirt. 0.84
00:04:58.020 What is he saying to her?
00:05:00.320 What is she posting the selfie for?
00:05:03.840 Attention.
00:05:04.980 She wants it.
00:05:08.480 No.
00:05:09.260 No, not the same?
00:05:10.580 No.
00:05:10.840 Not the same.
00:05:11.460 No.
00:05:11.580 Who's more likely...
00:05:14.160 Who's more likely to get attention?
00:05:21.540 The guy DMing a girl or the girl...
00:05:24.120 The selfie.
00:05:24.860 The selfie, 100%.
00:05:26.260 So why is one so much worse than the other?
00:05:30.260 Because I think that when you're DMing, you're taking the direct action to do that.
00:05:34.680 Aren't you taking a direct action to, like, get attention?
00:05:37.600 From everyone.
00:05:38.840 Yeah, from everyone.
00:05:40.320 He's just...
00:05:40.920 DMing one girl and you're just exposing yourself to everyone.
00:05:44.560 I'm thinking about, like, in my mind, as a mother that, you know, we have sometimes do posters.
00:05:49.540 But even me, I don't post...
00:05:50.440 Do you think it's cheating for women to get attention from other men to seek it?
00:05:55.080 Conditionally, yes.
00:05:57.060 If she's looking for it?
00:05:58.000 Yeah.
00:05:58.340 If she is, like, actively looking for it, she wants to have attention from other men?
00:06:01.680 I think when you're talking physically, like, if you're out and about, that's different.
00:06:06.360 Again, social media is a different thing.
00:06:08.220 No, I said, is it cheating to get attention from other men?
00:06:11.900 To seek out attention from other men in a relationship?
00:06:14.440 Yes.
00:06:14.960 Yeah.
00:06:15.340 To seek, yes.
00:06:16.280 So then why wouldn't the selfie be cheating?
00:06:19.500 Because that's for everyone.
00:06:20.640 Exactly.
00:06:20.920 Who says that she's posting a selfie to get attention from men? 1.00
00:06:23.760 No, no.
00:06:24.040 It's interesting what you say.
00:06:25.660 You say it's from everyone, but you don't really...
00:06:28.740 Why you upload something?
00:06:29.880 Why you upload a story or a picture?
00:06:31.060 Why not?
00:06:31.620 I want my friends and people I know and whoever to see what I'm getting up to.
00:06:35.300 What's the outcome?
00:06:36.980 That gets some likes, but I don't really...
00:06:38.760 Do you ever post selfies to get attention from men?
00:06:42.560 No.
00:06:43.020 Never.
00:06:43.500 Never.
00:06:44.100 You've never posted anything on social media thinking a guy that you like would see it?
00:06:48.400 No, really, in all honesty, I...
00:06:50.820 Everyone needs attention to this question.
00:06:53.100 If I think I look good, I think I'll post that something for someone else.
00:06:56.240 It's not for someone else.
00:06:57.860 No way.
00:06:58.240 It's not for someone else.
00:06:58.760 You all did it.
00:06:59.560 Come on, come on. 0.99
00:07:00.660 You know what?
00:07:01.700 For everyone, not for one, like, specific.
00:07:04.000 You know, when you upload a story, do you watch, do you check who was the story?
00:07:08.880 Of course.
00:07:09.460 Only if I'm interested in someone specific, I might, but I don't post a story for a person.
00:07:14.620 Wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:07:15.920 But I don't post it for that person.
00:07:17.780 Wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:07:17.880 Wait, wait, wait.
00:07:18.540 What'd you say?
00:07:19.060 What'd you say?
00:07:19.520 What'd you say?
00:07:19.960 Go back.
00:07:20.740 Go back.
00:07:21.020 Go back.
00:07:21.060 So, if I post a story, I want all my friends to see it.
00:07:24.740 I want everyone to see it, whatever, because that's why I'm posting it.
00:07:27.180 Okay.
00:07:27.500 And he said, do I go and see if someone I like?
00:07:31.720 In my life...
00:07:32.060 What if someone you like in general?
00:07:33.500 Do you go and check how many...
00:07:34.800 No, no, no.
00:07:35.320 like no no but um mostly the people that comment are like friends or like people i know and i
00:07:41.800 appreciate that that's what i that's what have you ever have you ever deleted something that
00:07:46.600 didn't go well no guys guys got their ways as well very quick answer but here's the thing this is how
00:07:55.720 deeply we have been programmed and how a lot of us have been brainwashed you think it's bad for you
00:08:01.320 as a woman to post something to attract a man but then you think it's perfectly fine to post something 1.00
00:08:06.760 just to get attention from your friends like in my opinion like that that just sounds kind of
00:08:13.640 backwards to me because first of all why are we placed on earth we are placed on earth to build
00:08:17.560 relationships mostly with the opposite sex for the purpose of furthering the human race because 0.82
00:08:22.360 part of making relationship with the opposite sex is to reproduce so if you're making it seem like
00:08:27.960 trying to attract the opposite sex is such a bad thing i kind of think that's kind of weird and then
00:08:33.240 because it's true in the western world everyone is just focused on these little things that actually
00:08:38.360 add up to nothing everyone wants to get money just to be important everyone wants to be noticed and have
00:08:43.640 attention and get all these dopamine hits but then when you ask them would you do this for the opposite
00:08:48.120 sex which most humans our lives and our livelihood and us being normal and being um emotionally stable
00:08:57.960 actually depends on forming meaningful relationships with the opposite sex but yet you always see 0.99
00:09:03.800 women fighting this no i can't do this for a man it doesn't make sense but so for example if i go on
00:09:10.360 holiday and i post a picture that i'm on holiday it's because i'm sharing the fun time that i'm having
00:09:16.040 with the friends that i didn't come on holiday with me that time do you talk to your friends yeah i do as
00:09:22.120 well so why couldn't you just text them a picture i do send it but i have quite a lot of friends how
00:09:26.760 many quite a lot how many quite a lot but you see it's like do you think social media is real life
00:09:33.160 no okay so why are we so attached to it well i'm not i told you i'd give it up for a great husband
00:09:40.360 no but it's like you're fighting so hard for the selfie i would even i would even challenge what you
00:09:45.480 just said you don't have a lot of friends this is also part of the delusion we all tell ourselves how do
00:09:50.440 you have a lot of friends because i i have like five different jobs and i have different friend
00:09:55.080 groups so it's just those are not your friends and they are they are like i have personal friends
00:10:00.360 friends across the world like it is i need to ask one question so if if someone goes is your instagram
00:10:07.880 like uh private or or sometimes it's private sometimes it's not i'm not gonna ask based on
00:10:14.120 what it changes i'm gonna ask something if if as a some man goes and check your profile would
00:10:19.880 she thinks like oh this girl is is to be married i want a wife here um i don't know really it's not 0.55
00:10:27.960 my my instagram is not like um it's not that it's not that interesting to be honest that's not why
00:10:35.000 i mean it's got some it's not it's not just selfies and stuff it's like actually stuff that i do
00:10:40.200 like it's work stuff but it but it doesn't it's not if you want if i mean do what you need to do
00:10:45.880 do what you need to do you might be surprised at what you find but it's not it's not that interesting
00:10:51.480 it's okay if if i was to be with you yeah and i was telling you okay i understand you do that some work
00:10:58.520 make it purely professional no more pictures of you but some of my work is because i have pictures of me
00:11:05.080 like i do a bit of modeling i do a bit of acting and stuff so it is it's all relative but i also
00:11:09.320 do some local how long do you plan to model and act like till i don't get paid anymore
00:11:16.840 basically it's just interesting oh you said you'd give up the instagram for the guy yeah yeah if he's
00:11:22.440 the right like husband husband material we already you know has to be the real deal yeah
00:11:27.480 um i'm gonna read super chats um let me see
00:11:36.840 okay here we go all right guys um i'm gonna read super chats these are not my opinions but the opinions
00:11:42.360 of the chat um okay rob can you clip this segment so i can send it to my wife um fs claire logic is
00:11:48.920 the worst enemy of the woman overall call it double speak they want to be treated equal until they don't 1.00
00:11:54.360 but also want to be treated like a lady this is the mindset of two individuals cult or our children
00:11:59.880 or cult members ninja smoked tank top guy and lil asian are all cap chad is pretty based in my
00:12:06.440 opinion this is why fresh and fit don't break nobody men um simping for the ladies delusional um enter
00:12:12.920 black dragon dragon what does this panel think of age gaps i'm 41 and she's 21 um women do not 0.95
00:12:19.640 understand the biology of men men are not biologically built monogamous it's a sociological
00:12:26.840 practice that eventually fails due to need 46 and 2 is woman telling their husbands no sex if you don't 0.99
00:12:33.880 do what i say uh guilty uh is that way as a woman telling her sex and her husband no sex until you do
00:12:41.080 what i say guilty of coercion i'm just curious
00:12:43.480 if a woman says no sex no sex until you meet my emotional needs did she coerce them 1.00
00:12:50.920 i don't know i mean if they're locked into a binding legal agreement which is what marriage is
00:12:57.720 it's not coercion but what about the coerced men
00:13:03.080 okay why is it harder for women to take accountability for cheating why um do they the person they 1.00
00:13:09.000 cheat on um carlos pearl norm mcdonald broke the tiger woods example men example down in his stand
00:13:16.360 up special me doing stand up the clip is on youtube djb fit how many of you guys broke up with saw we've
00:13:22.200 read that already um let me refresh it real quick guys um i just wanted to point out real quick um 90
00:13:31.000 of women would never get the man they want and this is because most women want a man that's assertive
00:13:37.320 confident strong a leader and all of that good stuff has money tall beautiful whatever but at
00:13:44.920 the same time they say well he can't tell me what to do typically a man that's like that is not going
00:13:50.520 to take your direction he's going to do what he does and he's going to expect you to follow so it's
00:13:55.720 very funny when women come out and say i want this guy i want that guy but then they still come out and 0.91
00:14:00.200 try to act like they are the man in the relationship it never works and it's never gonna work
00:14:04.440 i mean the earlier women start to understand that either you want that guy or you just go for a guy 0.93
00:14:09.320 you can control usually there's no middle ground and it's interesting that they want all these things
00:14:15.000 but they cannot really offer something in return something that is worth enough for what they ask
00:14:22.520 do you disagree no many times it is and i think it comes a lot with maturity as well and also a lot
00:14:29.560 of the brainwash because i don't agree with many things and that's why i always say like i'll protect
00:14:34.200 my family and my relationship right and there is some if you're really like a mature mature woman you
00:14:41.240 you will know what you have to do and what a man i don't agree that they are equal that they do the
00:14:45.640 same things no and especially inside a home you know it works in different ways so i think it demands a
00:14:52.280 lot of intelligence wisdom and maturity to you know to occur this dynamic between men and women
00:15:00.200 and i think we've been programmed that's why we are so resistant and things like this and
00:15:04.120 why so many relationships what do women bring to the table in 2023 okay i don't understand 0.89
00:15:09.640 what is this table where we find this table is it a marriageable table like as this is what i was
00:15:16.280 trying to say before when i came to the table what table are we talking about okay what what what should
00:15:22.120 women bring to a relationship like when you when you go on a date with a man you typically expect him 1.00
00:15:28.840 to pay for it right no no not me not me oh cap come on no me i've been i've been i've been with homeless
00:15:36.920 guy for two and a half years so you don't know me homeless guy you don't know me are you homeless too
00:15:43.480 yeah oh but this is the thing that's not that's not like a good rebuttal to what she's saying you're
00:15:48.200 saying that like that's that's okay because you're homeless guys so that's no no no no one second one
00:15:53.720 second i said that because she just mentioned oh like okay okay okay it's me i'm not about the pain
00:15:59.080 i'm saying it's not that i don't i don't have like it needs to be this or it needs to be this okay the
00:16:04.440 standard that women expect so you saying that is not really like answering the question you're just
00:16:08.680 trying to throw off the question without really answering it i'm answering i'm saying not me not
00:16:14.600 me i'm talking about me i can ask i can ask i answer just as me not like other woman yeah but
00:16:21.160 i'm saying okay okay okay okay okay she wants nothing so okay what about what about you what does the
00:16:29.320 average woman bring to the table in 2023 well um so i don't know can i say can i say something
00:16:39.880 exactly okay wait no no wait i want to i want to give a good a good actual answer i mean there are
00:16:46.840 many things you know you have to you have to sort of be mentally aligned because you want to have
00:16:52.280 like good communication you want to be able to talk about self-experiences and you know things are
00:16:56.440 women good communicators or is the average woman a good communicator um some are no no i said is the 0.93
00:17:04.200 average woman i am okay okay no yeah okay so do men typically want communication from women is that
00:17:12.040 what they seek they want they want communication they want um they want femininity as well to be honest
00:17:17.560 okay and they and they want they do want attractiveness obviously okay but you you can't it's you can't be 0.80
00:17:23.640 that superficial for like for one date yes maybe two but then the third day men do want communication
00:17:29.960 yeah okay so the average woman brings communication what else well i don't know about the average woman 1.00
00:17:35.240 but you know good women okay that get good okay okay keep going what else women that get good husbands 1.00
00:17:41.480 um they also want um yeah they want someone that looks good they want someone that you know is
00:17:48.280 their level to be honest okay so they want to grow so they bring looks and communication what else
00:17:53.800 care femininity whatever that are women feminine in 2020 not really there's a lot of alphas out there
00:18:00.760 okay so but you kind of have to be okay so maybe a lot of fake alphas out there including men
00:18:10.760 women women bring femininity sometimes sometimes okay what else do women bring um 1.00
00:18:20.440 well they can bring status depending what they do as well do men care about status i don't know i think
00:18:26.040 some do some do my ex actually did okay does the average man care about status i don't know about average
00:18:32.440 men i've only dated quite you know okay okay okay i mean yeah you and everyone does the man women
00:18:41.400 typically want care about status no because he'll probably bring her up if you're going to go average
00:18:46.920 but i do think that if you are a certain level of guy then you want something more than just a pretty
00:18:52.680 girl on the arm okay okay so so the average woman brings communication no no not the average woman okay 1.00
00:18:59.880 the slightly above average okay the slightly above average woman brings communication femininity 1.00
00:19:04.680 they should they should and looks they should i'd like how you're not answering the question i asked
00:19:09.640 it's like women when we you don't like the answer that that we would have to give it's like let me 0.99
00:19:14.440 answer how i want to answer okay so ask the question one more time what does the average woman bring to 1.00
00:19:20.200 the table in 2023 so the average woman it depends usually i guess don't remember that's a band word yes it's
00:19:29.160 banned okay so the average woman i guess is everyone that is on social media so they bring looks 0.99
00:19:35.240 how about that as simple as that anything else i mean i'm sure there are but if you're going on a date
00:19:39.800 and you don't know the person how do you know you get to know okay okay what does the average woman 1.00
00:19:43.560 bring yeah so we're talking about average average means already that it doesn't bring much right and
00:19:48.520 women are being forced to to bring on the table things that i think for men is not very useful 1.00
00:19:55.000 anymore so we've been forced like if you talk to most of girls here they have like really good jobs
00:20:00.360 working for governments high education and that's not what men's need like in a relationship like
00:20:05.320 sex if you put on the top for men's number one right and unfortunately the other things affect women 0.99
00:20:11.000 on this way and things like this why were women forced to get jobs you don't think it was a choice 0.98
00:20:15.160 pardon women were forced to get jobs i think nowadays it has a very big uh pressure okay a really big
00:20:22.440 pressure for women to be uh very well educated and have a job of course if you live in london if 1.00
00:20:29.320 you don't work if you don't make money the city is gonna slow right you do