JustPearlyThings - This Explains Why Modern Women Are Miserable

00:00:00.000 their logic and emotion are two completely different things they are two completely

00:00:03.840 different things if you're operating from a place of emotion that is a feeling it's not thought it's

00:00:08.240 a feeling that's emotion it's emotional intelligence though isn't there and that's

00:00:12.000 yeah well that that's not being questioned it like the logic is logical is what makes sense

00:00:17.120 if we look at this on paper what makes sense this is i'm going to think this through and what is

00:00:22.160 logical a to b an emotion is just oh this is how i feel why don't why don't women ever pick partners

00:00:27.520 that makes sense because i think that they lead with their emotions i think as women we we tend to

00:00:33.040 and i think that when you are interested in somebody you you're all logic goes out of the window

00:00:37.760 i think sorry i just want to quickly say um going back to your point um maybe i worded what i said

00:00:43.040 wrong so yes of course an emotion is a feeling however you can look at that feeling and be like

00:00:47.600 is it logical to feel this way like for instance someone might um say something and i feel like

00:00:51.200 women do this a lot um men even actually do people do this a lot someone will say something to you and

00:00:55.920 then you'll be like oh are you trying to say i'm this so and so forth because you're reacting with

00:00:58.960 a feeling like um you might feel ashamed so on and so forth but you have to take a step back and

00:01:03.040 logically logically look is this feeling actually um rooted in my own insecurities whatever whatever

00:01:09.520 and then if it's illogical to feel that feeling then that's what i will call emotional logic because

00:01:14.480 then you've looked at that emotion with logic obviously there's um logic that comes that's objective

00:01:20.000 logic feeling is something um personal and therefore that's why i separated the two kind of things so

00:01:24.560 i get what you're trying to say you're trying to basically say like i don't know if someone comes

00:01:29.120 and knocks your drink on your lap or something and you'd be like exactly but if you step back and

00:01:35.200 think about you think oh it might be an accident you get me like let me just leave this person alone

00:01:38.960 like so you're saying sometimes it's about taking responsibility for your own feelings that it's not

00:01:43.040 necessarily like understanding where that feeling is coming from and tracking yourself in that sense it's

00:01:48.800 not about um taking responsibility for your own feeling per se because sometimes the way you feel is the

00:01:53.680 other person's fault however it's about being the bigger person to your own feelings and be like

00:01:58.640 you know what i'm big enough that i can deal with this without i'm projecting it outside and therefore

00:02:03.760 i'm going to go about this situation with logic um i'm not disregarding my own feelings i agree with

00:02:09.120 you actually i feel i feel like your feelings don't matter i mean as women we feel one way one day

00:02:14.640 we're about to get our period then we feel another then then it's like we're in even this most of us on

00:02:20.880 the couch we're in for a minute and we go back then we leave then we go i just i feel like love

00:02:26.560 is a choice and i feel like i feel like you're right i think that you know we should operate with

00:02:32.640 more emotion but we we don't as women yeah i feel like um a lot of women um a lot of people in general

00:02:38.560 i should say they do not have a lot of organic thoughts their thoughts are like i was saying earlier

00:02:44.560 you can make anything make sense and there's a lot of social media input and all these kind of things so

00:02:48.880 um a woman will be like oh you know this is the man i want because of abcd reasons and then they'll

00:02:53.760 get um too deeply involved in that and then they won't be able to realize oh this is not actually

00:02:57.920 what's good for me this is just what i've been influenced to think that i want but actually it

00:03:02.080 doesn't really work for me and then they kind of get stuck in that cycle kind of thing and that's

00:03:05.840 to answer your question why don't women never choose stable guys but then again if love is a choice

00:03:10.000 then how are we all just like not choosing and choosing to like love these men you know what i

00:03:16.880 mean yeah because if he if you choose bad but but we don't choose it we feel it yeah like you you

00:03:23.200 fool you can't control the things you can't control these emotions because you know the person is bad

00:03:27.680 for you so why would anyone go i'm gonna choose that anyway no because you fit like you love them and

00:03:33.200 it's not a choice i think you can control it though don't you i think sometimes we just let it get a bit

00:03:36.960 out i mean you choose who you have sex with so you know you could feel one way you could feel one

00:03:41.760 way about a guy but you know if you see red flag red flag you don't have to sleep but sex and love

00:03:45.520 us are two different things yeah but where does it start i thought you can't like for example you

00:03:50.480 could be with someone for a long time you really like you know that you love them you can't just

00:03:54.720 switch it off when you realize they're starting to act different you can't just like just turn it

00:03:58.720 off and be like yeah i don't love you no more yeah it doesn't work you can make a choice yeah you can

00:04:02.720 make a choice you can make a choice to leave them but it's not going to stop what you feel

00:04:06.720 you get me like you can still feel a way like you might even miss them because now you feel like

00:04:11.600 you love the person they've done you like this but you've left and now you're feeling like oh

00:04:15.680 that's what makes people want to go back as well because it's like oh like you start to second

00:04:20.080 guess like oh did they even do this that bad was it was it was it me was i overreacting like it's

00:04:25.920 it's not a choice in my opinion i mean how is it how is it not a choice if you're going to be with

00:04:29.520 someone or not be with someone like isn't that a choice obviously that's how you can feel how you feel

00:04:33.760 but the choices you make that's the choice but i meant love is not a choice like you can't choose

00:04:38.560 to turn off your feelings for somebody yeah but i feel like feelings are going to come and go so

00:04:43.040 if you're going to be married for 50 years do you think you're always going to feel in love

00:04:46.080 yeah that's what i'm saying i think it's a choice at the end of the day yeah but your parents want to

00:04:50.160 beat your brains out sometimes right like when you're a kid yeah but they always love you though so

00:04:55.440 one day my mom can't like tomorrow say you know what amber don't love you no more it's gone completely

00:05:02.640 but i bet sometimes they feel like that when you're acting a certain way i do not think that

00:05:06.880 they do so you think your parents sometimes are like pearl i feel like sometimes they felt like

00:05:12.400 they wanted to kill me you know but they still love you though they still love you but i'm saying

00:05:16.720 it was a choice my mom's definitely wanted to kill me a couple times yeah it's unconditional love

00:05:23.200 with children yeah if i was to ask like with your kids i'll turn around to you and say oh maybe

00:05:29.440 tomorrow you won't love them no more but that's what i'm saying it's a different type of love

00:05:33.280 there's different types of love isn't there there's not just one type so there's like a garpy love that

00:05:37.360 romantic love there's that i can't think what the with the children but definitely with the children

00:05:41.360 it's that unconditional love whereas with uh with men or partners it's it's it is conditional to some

00:05:47.680 degree but i don't feel like you choose any of it that's how and i feel like especially cool like

00:05:52.480 you know how we were talking about how we were in relationships when we're younger

00:05:55.360 i feel like when you're younger you confuse the different types of love like you might think

00:05:59.200 okay i love this person so even if they do this to me it's not going to stop me feeling this way

00:06:03.840 so it kind of comes off as unconditional but obviously at that age you don't really understand

00:06:08.080 but it's just the feeling i think sometimes women would have better outcomes if her parents picked

00:06:12.480 a husband for us no yeah i do actually yeah yeah i think that arranged marriages have got very good

00:06:18.160 success rate not with my mom i don't know because also sometimes my mom will buy me like a rug for my

00:06:24.400 room and i hate it and that's just a rug i think a lot of time we go after chemistry don't we but

00:06:29.280 that's what we're feeling with these guys it's the chemistry it's not necessarily like this like you

00:06:34.880 mentioned earlier i hope you don't mind but you know this sort of calming effect that this person

00:06:38.960 has on you i understand that now today to be love when actually someone is like my peace and my calm

00:06:45.600 whereas when you're younger you go after the frill you go after the excitement there you know so i

00:06:50.400 just think that it's also like a hormonal response when did that switch for you from

00:06:55.360 going for the exciting guy to the more calm peaceful guy um what age yeah good question i think that um

00:07:01.840 probably 30. around 30. yeah 29 30 when i when i when i felt pregnant at 30. yeah you felt pregnant

00:07:09.280 i felt pregnant with a guy i was with friends with for like five years and then we we had a family

00:07:13.840 together very quickly oh wow yeah yeah and i kind of can't help but feel that there's a there's a huge

00:07:19.120 difference and i think that for us sometimes we get them a little bit confused there's a big difference

00:07:22.800 between love and lust and and what we think you know that whole excitement that thrill that oh this

00:07:28.880 is so not good for me but i just want it anyway oh he wants me he desires me he lusts me um yeah there's

00:07:34.400 a big difference between the two and i think when as for me anyway at the young age that i was i i don't

00:07:41.040 know if i can leave it the first phase of our relationship was definitely lusty i think i put him on a

00:07:46.400 a pedestal to some degree um when we had the kids it was love but i think it was more staying in a

00:07:51.600 situation for the for the wrong reasons if that makes sense um so now uh after coming out of that

00:07:57.280 relationship i was single for a long time like five years i was single for um and i i reflect on

00:08:04.720 the chaos that was the last relationship and the war that i went through in the end of it so now that i'm

00:08:10.720 over the five years sort of coming to a place where you're comfortable with yourself you you really love

00:08:15.680 yourself you really know your worth and and what you want from a person it changes your view on on

00:08:22.240 your relationships but you know how you're talking about obviously lust and love and stuff

00:08:26.800 don't you think that relationships come after last because at the end of the day for somebody to be

00:08:32.000 attracted to you and to want to get to know you like that it's all about physical attraction how

00:08:36.560 they feel about you in the beginning so i feel like last kind of can in a way play into love

00:08:42.320 because it comes that way not really i no one could turn my head that i really fancy now i don't

00:08:46.240 care how hot a guy is you couldn't turn my head now for what you know what i mean but if cool you

00:08:50.800 were chatting to somebody let's say you find them attractive whatever they start ticking your boxes

00:08:55.200 as you go one by one and then at the end of the day you're going to start feeling this person you're

00:08:59.440 going to start off with a lust yeah you're going to start getting afraid and looks fade as well

00:09:03.120 do you think historically women have gone after looks yeah i think so yeah no actually i think

00:09:09.760 women now more than ever i think women actually go after like dominance in a kind of way like

00:09:15.760 the man who's manly are kind of thing like even if you look back in history and stuff they'll go after

00:09:20.320 the man i don't know who's killed so many people i don't know about history either but they'll go after

00:09:24.560 these men that are showing their strength you get it you don't nobody wants a simp so at the end of the

00:09:29.680 the day everybody wants to go for a man that's showing his manliness you don't have to be the

00:09:32.880 best looking guy in the world but as long as you are coming off as a man i feel like you get

JustPearlyThings - May 29, 2023

This Explains Why Modern Women Are Miserable

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