JustPearlyThings - July 21, 2023


This Feminist Movement Killed DATING FOR GOOD!!!


Episode Stats

Length

9 minutes

Words per Minute

201.18933

Word Count

1,951

Sentence Count

127

Misogynist Sentences

6

Hate Speech Sentences

3


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.580 Today's topic, we're talking about sexless men.
00:00:04.540 So, a study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that the number of sexually
00:00:11.040 inactive young adults has increased in recent years.
00:00:14.340 A survey conducted by the General Social Survey which found that the percentage of men under
00:00:19.460 30 who have not had had sex in the past year has tripled since 2008.
00:00:24.280 A study published in JAMA Pediatrics which found that fewer teens are having sex than
00:00:29.960 in previous generations, a study found in the Journal of Adolescent Health which found
00:00:35.820 that social media use is associated with a decrease in sexual activity among adolescents.
00:00:43.200 According to a 2017 study, the number of sexually inactive men in the U.S. has tripled in the
00:00:48.380 past decade.
00:00:49.060 The percentage of men aged 18 to 29 who have not had had sex in the past year increased
00:00:54.500 from 9.5% in 2008 to 28% in 2018.
00:00:59.020 There are a number of potential reasons for this trend, including the rise of technology,
00:01:04.260 social media, and video games which can be addictive and time-consuming.
00:01:08.380 Economic factors such as lack of job opportunities and financial insecurity may also contribute
00:01:14.880 to men delaying marriage and sexual activity.
00:01:18.200 Changes in gender norms and expectations as well as a shift towards more casual dating and
00:01:23.000 hookup culture may also be factors.
00:01:25.120 This trend is not unique to the U.S. where there are similar patterns in other countries,
00:01:31.240 including the U.K. and Japan.
00:01:34.040 Some experts argue that the trends towards sexual inactivity is not necessarily a negative
00:01:39.300 and may reflect a broader shift towards a greater emphasis on personal fulfillment and
00:01:44.420 self-care.
00:01:44.960 So, according to the article, the number of sexless men under 30 has tripled in the last
00:01:51.040 decade.
00:01:52.040 Why do you guys think that's happening?
00:01:54.680 So, I don't know about the U.S. yet.
00:01:58.080 I think in the U.K., young people are having sex more.
00:02:04.140 I just think we're not having as much kids as the previous generation.
00:02:10.720 I feel like people were having kids younger or having a lot of children.
00:02:14.740 I feel like we're just not having kids.
00:02:16.860 We're having sex, but we're not having kids.
00:02:19.480 So, you think they're lying when they're surveyed about it?
00:02:21.800 I don't know about the lying, but from being in the U.K. and how I know guys that, you
00:02:30.720 know, are out here, I don't think men have become, like, sexless at all.
00:02:36.400 I think, sorry, Tretika, you can speak after me.
00:02:40.260 I think also there is a massive change in confidence in men.
00:02:46.620 I don't know what happened with this gender thing, but also there's a massive impact.
00:02:51.800 When men is confused and it's playing in their confidence.
00:02:57.480 Like, I think the generation right now, the kids that I'm seeing right now, there's a
00:03:01.880 massive difference between them and the generation that I know.
00:03:04.500 So, boys.
00:03:05.760 What do you think caused that?
00:03:08.840 There's a lot of culture, you know, even the songs that you hear, like six figure, blah,
00:03:13.420 blah, blah.
00:03:13.780 I think men are questioning if they're good enough to actually go out and date and take
00:03:18.820 girls out and, you know, be with these type of girls that they fancy or they have to settle
00:03:23.820 for something that they're not, which most of men do.
00:03:26.740 But I think there's a massive crisis, I would say, that's happening to the young generation.
00:03:31.840 And it's the whole songs, the culture, everything that's happening, contributing to the confidence
00:03:37.720 of the young boys right now, comparing to the generation before.
00:03:41.640 And it's a bit shocking, isn't it?
00:03:43.220 Yeah.
00:03:43.500 So you think that masculinity was celebrated before and it's not now?
00:03:47.580 I'm just trying to paraphrase what you're saying.
00:03:49.260 A hundred percent.
00:03:50.000 I definitely think so.
00:03:53.080 Yes.
00:03:53.660 And it's funny enough, even I think also a lot of men are put in a lid to who they are
00:03:59.580 and what they need and what they want and their identity has been really, like, there's a crisis
00:04:06.900 of their identity because of what, like, the conversation that we're having and the songs
00:04:12.420 and everything, the whole culture is definitely suppressing that a hundred percent.
00:04:17.500 I definitely think there is a bit of a crisis of masculinity going on with a lot of young
00:04:21.800 men where, I mean, if I think of someone my age, we have so many strong male role models
00:04:27.160 and we didn't have the distraction of this little device in our hands that just sucked
00:04:31.760 in all of our potential almost as men and humans being, as human beings.
00:04:36.980 And now men don't have their own models.
00:04:39.140 They almost don't know how to be.
00:04:40.940 There's a backdrop, I guess, of the Me Too movement, a lot of genuine movements that needed
00:04:44.700 to happen.
00:04:45.820 I think it's left a lot of men discombobulated how they approach women, should they approach
00:04:49.220 women, what's appropriate.
00:04:51.060 You know, if you think a lot of our parents probably met in social settings or, you know,
00:04:55.080 through families, et cetera, but certainly the social aspect of meeting people at the
00:04:58.260 gym, at the pub, at the bar, I think a lot of men are frightened to do that.
00:05:03.280 Some of it is societal, like this, I guess some people see it as an attack on masculinity.
00:05:07.720 And some of it is the men themselves' failure to almost move with the modern times.
00:05:14.360 So they've withdrawn into their computer games.
00:05:16.300 They've withdrawn into this world where they're almost just with themselves or with their peers.
00:05:20.960 And they've forgot the art of actually engaging in conversations, chatting people up and doing
00:05:25.920 stuff.
00:05:26.260 And I think also another aspect is, I think we're a bit in the victim culture a little
00:05:30.280 bit in life as well, where people see themselves as victims and poor me and almost the world
00:05:34.740 owes them something.
00:05:35.920 I'm sure there are a lot of, and I don't mean to be bad when I say it, but a lot of angry
00:05:39.420 men who seem that they, by default, should just have stuff without having to put the work
00:05:43.580 in.
00:05:44.020 So it's almost like an entitlement with guys because they're not putting the work in.
00:05:47.480 They don't know how to, or they're scared to do it.
00:05:50.380 As a result, a lot of them are unintentionally sexless.
00:05:53.500 I don't think they want to be, but I think it's unintentionally.
00:05:56.100 So there's so many different factors that are contributing to it, especially more so with
00:05:59.760 men.
00:06:00.020 And then I guess there's also the factor of women going for that top 20% or the top 30%
00:06:04.920 of men, as we see with these Tinder studies.
00:06:07.220 So most men are not going to pass that standard anymore.
00:06:10.400 So they're going to be left, they're sort of scratching their ears thinking, what can I do?
00:06:14.480 And a lot of them are choosing to withdraw.
00:06:15.760 And I think it's quite dangerous as well.
00:06:17.480 You've seen it with a lot of the shooting and stuff that's happened in America.
00:06:21.220 They can become quite angry and quite disaffected, and it can become quite dangerous for society.
00:06:26.520 Can you expound a little bit more what you said, that you said phones are ruining men's
00:06:30.240 potential?
00:06:31.400 Yeah, because phones are this illusion of life, but it's not real.
00:06:36.060 So if you're always got your head in your phone or you've got your head in video games,
00:06:39.740 how the hell do you, how the hell do you become who you're born to be?
00:06:43.440 How the hell do you, you know, get the level of charisma, the level of confidence you need
00:06:47.600 if you're always in the phone?
00:06:48.500 It's not a real world.
00:06:49.960 You know, go and talk to that woman at a bar.
00:06:51.640 Go and talk to that woman on the street.
00:06:53.340 Go and engage with an actual human being rather than your phone.
00:06:56.060 It's very easy, I think, to be buried in your phone.
00:06:58.640 And the more you do it, the more disengaged you are from actual real world where you need
00:07:02.680 to speak to people.
00:07:03.340 But you can't blame them.
00:07:04.500 It's actually, there's so many, there's so many different factors that are contributing
00:07:08.420 to them needing almost, I guess, they feel they need to disengage from society.
00:07:13.120 And I think also the access to corn as well.
00:07:15.400 To what?
00:07:15.820 Access to corn, how easy it is.
00:07:17.820 How easy it is.
00:07:19.080 I can't say the word.
00:07:20.320 Yeah, I think that, exactly.
00:07:21.640 Yeah.
00:07:22.160 And again, that's another aspect of your phone and technology.
00:07:24.640 It's much easier for guys to get online and engage in corn and again, not be engaged in
00:07:29.200 the real world and then get into this unrealistic world of what, you know, intimacy is.
00:07:35.060 For them, intimacy, if it's just porn, that's not intimacy.
00:07:37.240 That's just one side of it.
00:07:39.220 But real intimacy is engaging, it's sharing, it's being vulnerable, it's allowing yourself
00:07:43.020 to be seen and to see others.
00:07:45.300 And they're not engaging in that anymore in that same way.
00:07:47.840 Do you think that's true for men and for women?
00:07:50.360 I think more so for me, we were just speaking about this before everyone came in.
00:07:53.420 And I think it's genuinely harder for men because men have to graft.
00:07:57.440 No one's coming to save a man.
00:07:58.680 I think society would happily step over a man's corpse.
00:08:02.540 And you see, what, 75% of homelessness is men.
00:08:05.200 Something like, again, similar to that when it comes to suicide.
00:08:08.140 I don't think society cares about men.
00:08:10.320 In fact, people probably laugh.
00:08:12.200 Oh, men are not having sex.
00:08:13.240 Oh, it's just funny.
00:08:14.700 Do you know?
00:08:15.000 So there's all these different things, you know?
00:08:16.660 And I think, and because I do a lot of advocacy for men, I think for my stances, men need
00:08:23.160 to be responsible for the state of their lives.
00:08:25.520 I don't necessarily think society owes them anything.
00:08:28.500 I'd love society to care about men, to care about masculinity, to see the value that men
00:08:32.880 bring to the world.
00:08:34.060 But society may not.
00:08:35.160 In fact, the trend seems to be going the other way.
00:08:37.220 I want men to start actually looking, what can I be responsible for?
00:08:40.320 And let me put my phone away.
00:08:41.720 Let me put down call of duty.
00:08:43.100 Let me actually start to engage.
00:08:44.720 I know that, especially for younger people, it's a bit of a mind fill.
00:08:47.160 Because what was normal for my generation, chatting up a girl on the street or wherever
00:08:50.760 it might be, for some people might be seen as some sort of attack, almost.
00:08:54.240 That's what society said.
00:08:55.620 But I think men need to almost stand in their courage and just go for it.
00:08:59.080 And I think if they can do it with charisma, with respect, they can start to engage.
00:09:02.880 But men are checking out.
00:09:03.760 And I think the amplification of that disaster is not to mention the fact that relationships
00:09:08.580 break down.
00:09:09.280 There are a lot of men from single parent families who are not taught a lot of these things.
00:09:12.900 And if you're a teenager, there are a lot of people here that have a lot of people.
00:09:17.580 There are a lot of people who can grasp a lot of these things.
00:09:22.720 So let me just ask them to understand something.
00:09:23.820 Listen, you're listening.
00:09:26.020 Listen, this is what we have said about slave village people.
00:09:28.720 Isn't this bird creature or dude?
00:09:31.160 The third child king goes to his very good boy, but I'm still saying things we never
00:09:34.980 did something like that.
00:09:36.220 So I don't know where it can be until we ask people to get solve them properly if people
00:09:36.980 did something like that.
00:09:39.560 What advice can you do about them, and I don't care.