JustPearlyThings - July 21, 2023


This Feminist Movement Killed DATING FOR GOOD!!!


Episode Stats


Length

9 minutes

Words per minute

201.18933

Word count

1,951

Sentence count

127

Harmful content

Misogyny

6

sentences flagged

Hate speech

3

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

The number of men under 30 who have not had sex in the past year has tripled since 2008, according to a 2017 study by the General Social Survey. Why have men become sexless? Why are they not having sex anymore? What are the reasons for the increase in the number of sexless men in the U.S. and around the world?

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.580 Today's topic, we're talking about sexless men.
00:00:04.540 So, a study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that the number of sexually
00:00:11.040 inactive young adults has increased in recent years.
00:00:14.340 A survey conducted by the General Social Survey which found that the percentage of men under
00:00:19.460 30 who have not had had sex in the past year has tripled since 2008.
00:00:24.280 A study published in JAMA Pediatrics which found that fewer teens are having sex than
00:00:29.960 in previous generations, a study found in the Journal of Adolescent Health which found
00:00:35.820 that social media use is associated with a decrease in sexual activity among adolescents.
00:00:43.200 According to a 2017 study, the number of sexually inactive men in the U.S. has tripled in the
00:00:48.380 past decade.
00:00:49.060 The percentage of men aged 18 to 29 who have not had had sex in the past year increased
00:00:54.500 from 9.5% in 2008 to 28% in 2018.
00:00:59.020 There are a number of potential reasons for this trend, including the rise of technology,
00:01:04.260 social media, and video games which can be addictive and time-consuming.
00:01:08.380 Economic factors such as lack of job opportunities and financial insecurity may also contribute
00:01:14.880 to men delaying marriage and sexual activity.
00:01:18.200 Changes in gender norms and expectations as well as a shift towards more casual dating and
00:01:23.000 hookup culture may also be factors.
00:01:25.120 This trend is not unique to the U.S. where there are similar patterns in other countries,
00:01:31.240 including the U.K. and Japan.
00:01:34.040 Some experts argue that the trends towards sexual inactivity is not necessarily a negative
00:01:39.300 and may reflect a broader shift towards a greater emphasis on personal fulfillment and
00:01:44.420 self-care.
00:01:44.960 So, according to the article, the number of sexless men under 30 has tripled in the last
00:01:51.040 decade.
00:01:52.040 Why do you guys think that's happening?
00:01:54.680 So, I don't know about the U.S. yet.
00:01:58.080 I think in the U.K., young people are having sex more. 0.59
00:02:04.140 I just think we're not having as much kids as the previous generation.
00:02:10.720 I feel like people were having kids younger or having a lot of children.
00:02:14.740 I feel like we're just not having kids.
00:02:16.860 We're having sex, but we're not having kids.
00:02:19.480 So, you think they're lying when they're surveyed about it?
00:02:21.800 I don't know about the lying, but from being in the U.K. and how I know guys that, you
00:02:30.720 know, are out here, I don't think men have become, like, sexless at all.
00:02:36.400 I think, sorry, Tretika, you can speak after me.
00:02:40.260 I think also there is a massive change in confidence in men.
00:02:46.620 I don't know what happened with this gender thing, but also there's a massive impact. 1.00
00:02:51.800 When men is confused and it's playing in their confidence.
00:02:57.480 Like, I think the generation right now, the kids that I'm seeing right now, there's a
00:03:01.880 massive difference between them and the generation that I know.
00:03:04.500 So, boys.
00:03:05.760 What do you think caused that?
00:03:08.840 There's a lot of culture, you know, even the songs that you hear, like six figure, blah,
00:03:13.420 blah, blah.
00:03:13.780 I think men are questioning if they're good enough to actually go out and date and take
00:03:18.820 girls out and, you know, be with these type of girls that they fancy or they have to settle 0.98
00:03:23.820 for something that they're not, which most of men do.
00:03:26.740 But I think there's a massive crisis, I would say, that's happening to the young generation.
00:03:31.840 And it's the whole songs, the culture, everything that's happening, contributing to the confidence
00:03:37.720 of the young boys right now, comparing to the generation before.
00:03:41.640 And it's a bit shocking, isn't it?
00:03:43.220 Yeah.
00:03:43.500 So you think that masculinity was celebrated before and it's not now?
00:03:47.580 I'm just trying to paraphrase what you're saying.
00:03:49.260 A hundred percent.
00:03:50.000 I definitely think so.
00:03:53.080 Yes.
00:03:53.660 And it's funny enough, even I think also a lot of men are put in a lid to who they are
00:03:59.580 and what they need and what they want and their identity has been really, like, there's a crisis
00:04:06.900 of their identity because of what, like, the conversation that we're having and the songs
00:04:12.420 and everything, the whole culture is definitely suppressing that a hundred percent.
00:04:17.500 I definitely think there is a bit of a crisis of masculinity going on with a lot of young
00:04:21.800 men where, I mean, if I think of someone my age, we have so many strong male role models
00:04:27.160 and we didn't have the distraction of this little device in our hands that just sucked
00:04:31.760 in all of our potential almost as men and humans being, as human beings.
00:04:36.980 And now men don't have their own models. 0.98
00:04:39.140 They almost don't know how to be.
00:04:40.940 There's a backdrop, I guess, of the Me Too movement, a lot of genuine movements that needed
00:04:44.700 to happen.
00:04:45.820 I think it's left a lot of men discombobulated how they approach women, should they approach
00:04:49.220 women, what's appropriate. 1.00
00:04:51.060 You know, if you think a lot of our parents probably met in social settings or, you know,
00:04:55.080 through families, et cetera, but certainly the social aspect of meeting people at the
00:04:58.260 gym, at the pub, at the bar, I think a lot of men are frightened to do that.
00:05:03.280 Some of it is societal, like this, I guess some people see it as an attack on masculinity.
00:05:07.720 And some of it is the men themselves' failure to almost move with the modern times.
00:05:14.360 So they've withdrawn into their computer games.
00:05:16.300 They've withdrawn into this world where they're almost just with themselves or with their peers.
00:05:20.960 And they've forgot the art of actually engaging in conversations, chatting people up and doing
00:05:25.920 stuff.
00:05:26.260 And I think also another aspect is, I think we're a bit in the victim culture a little
00:05:30.280 bit in life as well, where people see themselves as victims and poor me and almost the world
00:05:34.740 owes them something.
00:05:35.920 I'm sure there are a lot of, and I don't mean to be bad when I say it, but a lot of angry
00:05:39.420 men who seem that they, by default, should just have stuff without having to put the work
00:05:43.580 in.
00:05:44.020 So it's almost like an entitlement with guys because they're not putting the work in.
00:05:47.480 They don't know how to, or they're scared to do it.
00:05:50.380 As a result, a lot of them are unintentionally sexless.
00:05:53.500 I don't think they want to be, but I think it's unintentionally.
00:05:56.100 So there's so many different factors that are contributing to it, especially more so with
00:05:59.760 men.
00:06:00.020 And then I guess there's also the factor of women going for that top 20% or the top 30%
00:06:04.920 of men, as we see with these Tinder studies.
00:06:07.220 So most men are not going to pass that standard anymore.
00:06:10.400 So they're going to be left, they're sort of scratching their ears thinking, what can I do?
00:06:14.480 And a lot of them are choosing to withdraw.
00:06:15.760 And I think it's quite dangerous as well.
00:06:17.480 You've seen it with a lot of the shooting and stuff that's happened in America.
00:06:21.220 They can become quite angry and quite disaffected, and it can become quite dangerous for society.
00:06:26.520 Can you expound a little bit more what you said, that you said phones are ruining men's
00:06:30.240 potential?
00:06:31.400 Yeah, because phones are this illusion of life, but it's not real.
00:06:36.060 So if you're always got your head in your phone or you've got your head in video games,
00:06:39.740 how the hell do you, how the hell do you become who you're born to be?
00:06:43.440 How the hell do you, you know, get the level of charisma, the level of confidence you need
00:06:47.600 if you're always in the phone?
00:06:48.500 It's not a real world.
00:06:49.960 You know, go and talk to that woman at a bar. 1.00
00:06:51.640 Go and talk to that woman on the street. 1.00
00:06:53.340 Go and engage with an actual human being rather than your phone.
00:06:56.060 It's very easy, I think, to be buried in your phone.
00:06:58.640 And the more you do it, the more disengaged you are from actual real world where you need
00:07:02.680 to speak to people.
00:07:03.340 But you can't blame them.
00:07:04.500 It's actually, there's so many, there's so many different factors that are contributing
00:07:08.420 to them needing almost, I guess, they feel they need to disengage from society.
00:07:13.120 And I think also the access to corn as well.
00:07:15.400 To what?
00:07:15.820 Access to corn, how easy it is.
00:07:17.820 How easy it is.
00:07:19.080 I can't say the word.
00:07:20.320 Yeah, I think that, exactly.
00:07:21.640 Yeah.
00:07:22.160 And again, that's another aspect of your phone and technology.
00:07:24.640 It's much easier for guys to get online and engage in corn and again, not be engaged in
00:07:29.200 the real world and then get into this unrealistic world of what, you know, intimacy is.
00:07:35.060 For them, intimacy, if it's just porn, that's not intimacy.
00:07:37.240 That's just one side of it.
00:07:39.220 But real intimacy is engaging, it's sharing, it's being vulnerable, it's allowing yourself
00:07:43.020 to be seen and to see others.
00:07:45.300 And they're not engaging in that anymore in that same way.
00:07:47.840 Do you think that's true for men and for women?
00:07:50.360 I think more so for me, we were just speaking about this before everyone came in.
00:07:53.420 And I think it's genuinely harder for men because men have to graft.
00:07:57.440 No one's coming to save a man.
00:07:58.680 I think society would happily step over a man's corpse.
00:08:02.540 And you see, what, 75% of homelessness is men.
00:08:05.200 Something like, again, similar to that when it comes to suicide.
00:08:08.140 I don't think society cares about men.
00:08:10.320 In fact, people probably laugh.
00:08:12.200 Oh, men are not having sex.
00:08:13.240 Oh, it's just funny.
00:08:14.700 Do you know?
00:08:15.000 So there's all these different things, you know?
00:08:16.660 And I think, and because I do a lot of advocacy for men, I think for my stances, men need
00:08:23.160 to be responsible for the state of their lives.
00:08:25.520 I don't necessarily think society owes them anything.
00:08:28.500 I'd love society to care about men, to care about masculinity, to see the value that men
00:08:32.880 bring to the world.
00:08:34.060 But society may not.
00:08:35.160 In fact, the trend seems to be going the other way.
00:08:37.220 I want men to start actually looking, what can I be responsible for? 0.57
00:08:40.320 And let me put my phone away.
00:08:41.720 Let me put down call of duty.
00:08:43.100 Let me actually start to engage.
00:08:44.720 I know that, especially for younger people, it's a bit of a mind fill.
00:08:47.160 Because what was normal for my generation, chatting up a girl on the street or wherever
00:08:50.760 it might be, for some people might be seen as some sort of attack, almost.
00:08:54.240 That's what society said.
00:08:55.620 But I think men need to almost stand in their courage and just go for it.
00:08:59.080 And I think if they can do it with charisma, with respect, they can start to engage.
00:09:02.880 But men are checking out.
00:09:03.760 And I think the amplification of that disaster is not to mention the fact that relationships
00:09:08.580 break down.
00:09:09.280 There are a lot of men from single parent families who are not taught a lot of these things.
00:09:12.900 And if you're a teenager, there are a lot of people here that have a lot of people.
00:09:17.580 There are a lot of people who can grasp a lot of these things.
00:09:22.720 So let me just ask them to understand something.
00:09:23.820 Listen, you're listening.
00:09:26.020 Listen, this is what we have said about slave village people. 1.00
00:09:28.720 Isn't this bird creature or dude?
00:09:31.160 The third child king goes to his very good boy, but I'm still saying things we never
00:09:34.980 did something like that.
00:09:36.220 So I don't know where it can be until we ask people to get solve them properly if people
00:09:36.980 did something like that.
00:09:39.560 What advice can you do about them, and I don't care.