JustPearlyThings - This FEMINIST Said THIS

00:00:00.000 So she's better looking now, would you say, now that she's lost the weight?

00:00:03.440 The objective was to get pregnant and her weight was a massive thing. 1.00

00:00:07.280 But it was, I mean, that's actually, that's the way that her weight loss has helped her.

00:00:12.480 And the bonus is that she's actually attractive. 0.99

00:00:14.680 So the goal wasn't to get attractive.

00:00:16.720 The goal was to get healthy.

00:00:18.420 And, you know, by a result, she became attractive because she is healthy. 0.94

00:00:23.220 Does that make sense?

00:00:23.840 And I told her, I'm a friend.

00:00:25.620 I would consider myself quite feminine and a woman. 1.00

00:00:28.840 And I told her, you're fat, you're ugly. 1.00

00:00:30.500 And I think it's the human thing. 1.00

00:00:31.860 I think we get too caught up with masculine energy, feminine energy.

00:00:35.660 What's human to do is to look out for somebody.

00:00:38.120 I think women are kind of more socialized to kind of beat around the bush. 1.00

00:00:42.940 You know what I mean?

00:00:43.720 Like to be coy.

00:00:45.360 It's kind of rewarded when women are like, oh, look, they're not as like, oh, I want this, this and this. 1.00

00:00:50.040 I think women are rewarded in romantic relationships and friendships and relationships with people in society. 0.89

00:00:55.220 So if you know that, why would you still purposely or willingly do it?

00:00:59.840 So you just said that women are kind of socialized to behave a certain type of way. 1.00

00:01:04.820 And you know that way you're socialized is negative in terms of creating a better outcome for all.

00:01:10.060 But yet you still sat here and still went.

00:01:12.640 I think I still do this because obviously that's what I'm used to. 0.90

00:01:17.280 I find it extremely uncomfortable to go to someone and call them fat or call them ugly.

00:01:21.440 Even if they asked you, so if I said, am I fat and I was visibly fat, you'd find it uncomfortable to be honest with me and be like, do you know what you are fat?

00:01:27.180 I would find that really uncomfortable for me to say the words out loud.

00:01:31.820 Like I can think certain things in my mind, but to directly say to someone straight up, like, I think you're ugly, especially if it's in negative terms, it would be very difficult for me.

00:01:39.880 So we're friends.

00:01:41.160 Yeah.

00:01:41.680 So if I said, if I said, if I gained, let's say if I gained 50 pounds.

00:01:45.760 Yeah.

00:01:46.100 And I said, did I get fat?

00:01:49.380 This is different because you, because you're Pearl. 0.96

00:01:52.080 So yeah, she wants you to be so direct, but had German au pairs growing up to German nannies. 0.99

00:02:01.500 So I know she can handle it.

00:02:02.460 So, okay.

00:02:03.960 People don't understand what German nannies, German nannies.

00:02:07.620 So I feel like it also, you have to have, um, a bit of tact and I feel like you need to gauge the person as well.

00:02:16.780 Let's, let's, let's role play.

00:02:18.480 Okay.

00:02:18.820 I just got rejected for the 10th time in a row.

00:02:33.520 Um, and he said it was cause I'm too thick.

00:02:37.600 Did I, did I get fat?

00:02:39.920 I know I ate one or two brownies.

00:02:42.260 Okay.

00:02:42.860 Or 10.

00:02:43.860 But am I, am I fat?

00:02:46.320 What's your BMI?

00:02:47.380 I don't know.

00:02:48.060 I haven't, I haven't, I don't weight myself.

00:02:50.160 Do you have scales at home?

00:02:51.620 No.

00:02:52.500 Okay.

00:02:52.880 I have scales.

00:02:53.520 I avoid them.

00:02:54.600 Like the plague.

00:02:55.940 No, it just gives me anxiety.

00:02:57.320 I can't get up the scale.

00:02:58.860 Okay.

00:03:00.860 Interesting.

00:03:01.580 What do you think your BMI is?

00:03:03.960 I don't know.

00:03:04.760 I just, I don't even know how BMI works.

00:03:07.020 I just, I think it's like a scale that's like not real.

00:03:09.440 So I feel like they just make that up, you know, doctors to be mean.

00:03:13.300 Okay.

00:03:13.640 Do you think you're overweight?

00:03:16.120 I mean, I question it a little bit, but that's why I came to you to get the truth.

00:03:24.000 Okay.

00:03:26.500 You see how this is really hard for me?

00:03:28.200 You see how like I went to every other option.

00:03:30.180 That was a one-on-one or beating around the bush.

00:03:32.300 Yeah, I was doing so well.

00:03:34.360 I came with a BMI.

00:03:35.240 Like she could have got on the scales.

00:03:36.420 We could have worked out together.

00:03:37.140 Okay.

00:03:37.420 Let me, let me, let me try it with Eddie.

00:03:38.980 Let me try it with Eddie.

00:03:41.240 You're like, all right.

00:03:42.560 It's going to be so short.

00:03:43.700 So, so this is, you know, I'm at, you know, I'm just like.

00:03:47.720 Shaking all over the place.

00:03:49.000 Eddie, it's been a minute since I've seen you.

00:03:51.460 How are you doing?

00:03:52.160 I'm good.

00:03:52.500 Are you telling me?

00:03:53.600 What?

00:03:53.960 I'm good.

00:03:54.380 How are you?

00:03:55.040 I'm good.

00:03:56.020 I'm good.

00:03:56.520 I'm good.

00:03:57.040 Um, anyways, I, I, I was walking here and I, and someone called me a whale.

00:04:02.780 A whale.

00:04:03.560 Yeah.

00:04:03.900 Yeah.

00:04:04.180 Did I, did I get fat?

00:04:05.360 I ain't gonna lie.

00:04:05.920 When I did see you, you was looking a bit more chunky than last time I seen you still, but

00:04:10.100 looks all right.

00:04:11.600 The cheeks are grown.

00:04:12.440 Oh, okay.

00:04:12.780 Okay.

00:04:13.040 So just chunky. 0.79

00:04:13.860 I'm not, I'm not fat.

00:04:15.260 No, I ain't gonna lie.

00:04:15.920 You put a mad weight in it.

00:04:17.120 Like drop a few, drop a little something, something in you.

00:04:20.160 Oh, but mad weight.

00:04:21.740 What does that mean?

00:04:22.340 Am I, am I fat? 0.99

00:04:23.060 You're fat. 0.99

00:04:24.700 That took a while. 0.99

00:04:26.280 He kind of beat around the bush too.

00:04:27.980 Nah, no, no.

00:04:28.460 I kind of like the way you said it though.

00:04:31.120 It's playful.

00:04:31.680 I'm like, you was very playful with it. 1.00

00:04:33.700 You was just like, you're fat and ugly. 1.00

00:04:35.540 Yeah. 1.00

00:04:35.620 That's pretty crazy for me.

00:04:36.980 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 0.87

00:04:37.460 I didn't say she's fat. 1.00

00:04:38.120 No, okay.

00:04:39.200 Everybody scroll back.

00:04:40.720 And then, did I say.

00:04:41.760 Quote, unquote. 0.99

00:04:42.380 She said fat and ugly. 1.00

00:04:43.580 I feel like. 0.99

00:04:44.620 No, I think, I think me, me, not you.

00:04:46.720 I don't know.

00:04:47.680 No, I, I didn't.

00:04:48.560 You can find out.

00:04:49.220 Have a look.

00:04:50.080 Wait, wait, hold on, hold on.

00:04:51.060 Hold on.

00:04:51.080 If I said she's fat and ugly, I said she became attractive because she's, because she's healthy. 1.00

00:04:56.660 That means she would have stayed ugly. 1.00

00:04:58.100 No, but you said like, I think you said like, you quoted yourself.

00:05:02.080 He's like.

00:05:02.280 No, you said you think.

00:05:03.140 You have to say, I know.

00:05:04.480 I know.

00:05:05.600 Oh, okay.

00:05:06.020 Look back.

00:05:06.900 Okay.

00:05:07.160 Can we bet some money or something?

00:05:10.080 But I'm playful with it.

00:05:12.200 I guess, I guess I respect you, actually.

00:05:15.840 Oh, thank you.

00:05:16.560 Because it's good to have a friend like you that will call it straight.

00:05:20.300 Even if it hurts, you, you're the most respected friend.

00:05:23.720 I have to say, the thing is that there needs to be context.

00:05:26.440 Okay.

00:05:26.680 So this, she tells me this over and over again.

00:05:29.720 And I try to, you know, in a polite way.

00:05:32.040 And if like, the thing is, like I said, I am not, my existence isn't to just pacify you,

00:05:39.060 you know, and if you're saying that, oh, you know, I have this issue and my weight is this

00:05:42.740 and everything.

00:05:43.100 And I was like, you know what? 0.99

00:05:43.880 I have to cut this crap. 1.00

00:05:45.420 You are fat. 1.00

00:05:46.380 And her radical acceptance is the most powerful thing. 0.98

00:05:49.540 That's when change actually ensued.

00:05:51.460 She got healthy and she had a baby.

00:05:53.400 That was the objective.

00:05:55.100 So, so much problems were avoided with me just being honest with her.

00:06:00.680 And if she's an adult, she's going to take that.

00:06:03.460 And not just suddenly forget who I am.

00:06:05.340 I'm a good friend.

00:06:06.400 I 100% agree with you.

00:06:07.260 I think there's a way of like doing it with tact so you can be playful about it.

00:06:10.060 But if you're honest and real with a person, it won't affect your relationship.

00:06:13.000 I wasn't mean. 0.98

00:06:13.620 I was like, you're fat. 0.99

00:06:15.060 You're fat. 1.00

00:06:15.780 That's it. 0.98

00:06:16.340 I feel like if you're honest with someone and factual with a person, a relationship cannot

00:06:19.920 be destroyed.

00:06:21.160 I feel like if someone's real with you and tells you something straight, if it was a real

00:06:25.280 friendship, I don't think it would affect it.

00:06:26.800 It's why you don't do it for fear of losing that relationship with a person.

00:06:30.500 The reason I don't do it is that I find it extremely uncomfortable.

00:06:33.640 I don't think I'm not used to doing it.

00:06:35.940 I don't practice it.

00:06:37.920 I don't know.

00:06:38.460 I don't know.

00:06:38.720 Would you like people to be honest with you?

00:06:41.040 Maybe not.

00:06:41.760 No.

00:06:42.200 Oh, you'd like people to lie to you?

00:06:43.780 Man them, lie to them deals and sell dreams.

00:06:47.120 No, because I will believe those dreams.

00:06:49.440 Oh, yeah?

00:06:49.940 And I don't see a problem with that.

00:06:52.000 Like think about it hypothetically.

00:06:53.000 Let's say if I think that I'm like really crazy, amazing, like really, really beautiful and

00:07:00.560 someone's selling me dreams and I believe the dreams he sells me happily ever after in

00:07:04.760 my delusion.

00:07:05.220 Oh, so why pop the bubble?

00:07:06.740 So I have a question.

00:07:07.920 Are you cool with getting cheated on if you never find out?

00:07:11.020 Oh, that's a hard one.

00:07:12.520 I don't want to ever be quoted on this, but I feel like, actually, let me drink first.

00:07:18.140 Let me have a drink.

00:07:19.060 Have you seen that TikTok that it's like when you catch your billionaire husband having an

00:07:23.540 pair, an affair, and you're like, ah, I didn't see anything.

00:07:28.560 Like, because if you never find out, it doesn't affect you and you're just believing the lies.

00:07:33.180 Hmm.

00:07:34.100 I think that's the thing.

00:07:35.720 After he sold you the dreams, then what?

00:07:37.500 What was his intention of selling you dreams?

00:07:39.840 He wanted to wife you. 0.81

00:07:41.240 He just wanted to wife you and have side pieces.

00:07:44.100 If he wanted to wife me and he didn't want to have side pieces, then I'd be okay.

00:07:47.420 No, no, no.

00:07:47.860 I said he's lying.

00:07:48.640 He's selling you the dream, as we said.

00:07:50.380 But he's selling a lie.

00:07:55.280 You said you like being lied to.

00:07:58.560 Don't burst my bubble.

00:07:59.680 Yeah.

00:08:00.140 No, like, burst my bubble as in if someone's like, oh, I find you really attractive and

00:08:03.260 beautiful, like, crazy beautiful.

00:08:04.580 You're like a model, da, da, da, da. 0.95

00:08:05.780 And I'm like, okay, I believe this too.

00:08:08.100 I believe this narrative.

00:08:09.780 That narrative doesn't have to involve cheating.

00:08:12.160 And if it doesn't, why burst that bubble and maybe, oh, she's, you're five.

00:08:16.640 You should be with us, like, a five, two, you know?

00:08:19.160 You know what?

00:08:19.620 A guy can't get with you if he's approached you like, you know what?

00:08:24.240 I think you're all right.

00:08:25.080 You're pretty decent.

00:08:25.840 But you know what?

00:08:26.260 I like you anyway.

00:08:27.180 You're going to be like, what?

00:08:28.280 Like, you're not getting a chance unless you're obsessed with me, unless I'm, like, the best

00:08:32.700 thing you've seen.

00:08:33.460 Like, that's it.

00:08:33.980 There's also that as well.

00:08:35.200 So you.

00:08:36.080 Because there's always someone that will treat you that way.

00:08:38.500 Yeah.

00:08:39.000 There's always someone that will treat you what way?

00:08:41.660 I don't know.

00:08:42.360 Like, treat you like they really value you.

00:08:46.120 Like, if you tell someone, like, yeah, you're okay.

00:08:50.040 It just seems like.

00:08:51.700 Do you think we like the guys that put us on pedestals?

00:08:54.400 I think we really enjoy that.

00:08:56.140 Really?

00:08:56.980 You think that gets guys laid?

00:08:58.600 No, no.

00:08:59.000 I feel like women enjoy being on the receiving end of being put on this pedestal. 0.98

00:09:02.900 Mm-hmm.

00:09:03.120 Yeah, like.

00:09:04.020 I enjoy it.

00:09:05.940 Women have, like, a group of men who are just for attention. 0.99

00:09:09.840 I don't know about that.

00:09:11.560 There's a guy that they like, who they want attention from, and there's all the guys that

00:09:14.600 feed them constant attention that makes them feel validated.

00:09:17.400 Yeah.

00:09:18.740 That's the friend zone.

00:09:19.880 That's the guys in the DMs.

00:09:21.080 I don't like none of these guys, but they make me feel good about myself.

00:09:23.560 Yeah, the ones that don't have a chance, but it's just like.

00:09:26.120 There you go.

00:09:26.900 Yeah, thanks anyway.

00:09:27.920 Yeah.

00:09:28.140 If I wanted to, I could, but nah, not the day.

00:09:29.960 Do you think guys can move out of that zone, out of the friend zone, once they're in it?

00:09:37.740 I think if a woman has decided something, she won't change her mind. 1.00

00:09:41.380 I don't know, you know.

00:09:42.520 I've seen a lot of guys escape it.

00:09:44.000 I think there's a frame.

00:09:44.960 I think there's a particular type of guy who is just very, very patient in it.

00:09:49.900 Yeah.

00:09:50.320 The long game.

00:09:51.300 The longest of long games.

00:09:52.460 If you wait for the right opportunity to strike, like, cool, you've been friends with this girl.

00:09:54.720 She's going through breakup after breakup because you're always making bad decisions.

00:09:57.980 You just have to be there at the right time.

00:10:00.440 That's so icky though.

00:10:02.620 Listen, you put them there, innit?

00:10:04.020 It's more of a long-term investment strategy.

00:10:07.700 But like, let's say, okay, that does happen.

00:10:09.920 They hook up one time and she wakes up.

00:10:13.280 That show must be fitting.

00:10:14.300 He won though.

00:10:14.980 He won.

00:10:15.380 He still got to blow her back out. 0.99

00:10:16.160 Yeah, exactly.

00:10:16.720 Yeah.

00:10:17.180 He's still got a little taste.

00:10:18.780 His CV improved.

00:10:21.940 Wow.

00:10:22.820 You need to see that, a sketch from Chris Rock.

00:10:26.000 When he says why women keep a lot of like guy friends and stuff.

00:10:28.840 Because they're all back up.

00:10:29.960 Should we, should we get, really?

00:10:30.840 Yeah.

00:10:31.340 Oh my God.

00:10:31.760 Glassing, YouTube it.

00:10:33.000 It's such a funny skit.

00:10:34.840 Yeah, we could, we can.

00:10:36.600 We'll give him a second.

00:10:37.840 Yeah, I can't remember what it's called.

00:10:39.220 Ultimately, there comes a time where a woman has to choose between what they always go for, 1.00

00:10:44.360 which I think is probably not the best partner for them.

00:10:48.020 Yeah, it's probably just the, like, maybe like the bad boy. 0.99

00:10:50.360 You know how like women are always like, men are trash, men are trash, but it's like, no, 1.00

00:10:53.820 you need to change what you go for. 1.00

00:10:55.640 There's a difference between arousal and attraction.

00:10:58.200 Attraction is like the guy that you could take home to mom and dad.

00:11:02.320 And he's like the good boyfriend.

00:11:03.600 Like you're attracted to him from that way.

00:11:05.100 And arousal is like the bad boy.

00:11:06.740 And I think most girls want like a mix of the two if they can, but, but typically like 1.00

00:11:11.620 there's no mix.

00:11:12.500 It's usually one or the other.

00:11:13.780 You think so?

00:11:15.500 Yeah.

00:11:15.900 I mean, like, I don't think most, most like stable guys also have that bad boy side to

00:11:22.480 them.

00:11:22.740 And I think if you find one, you, you, you try to hold on to him.

00:11:26.040 Yeah.

00:11:26.480 Cause you know what they, those stable guys provide peace and obviously peace doesn't mean

00:11:30.680 continuous, uh, yeah, but you're aroused by the drama.

00:11:35.700 Yeah.

00:11:35.980 Cause yeah.

00:11:37.140 And I don't, I don't think girls, this is a much more honest like panel.

00:11:40.300 Cause the girls like, we don't like to admit that.

00:11:42.500 Like, I meant one.

00:11:43.600 Like, okay.

00:11:44.160 Like why, why do, why do girls, okay. 0.99

00:11:47.360 Why girls like getting cheated on, on some level. 1.00

00:11:50.800 It's not, it's not fun, but like, why is every girl obsessed with the ex that cheated

00:11:54.920 on her?

00:11:56.520 That's always the one she goes back to.

00:11:58.140 Yeah.

00:11:58.580 And I feel like you should, when you're going into something new, you shouldn't be talking

00:12:01.560 about, oh my God, like my ex done this and that to me.

00:12:03.660 You need to, no one needs to know where you wasn't valued.

00:12:06.440 You need to be completely healthy and just really just, listen, this is what I expect.

00:12:12.700 That's it.

00:12:13.200 Anything less, regardless of my feelings, I need to, I need to leave.

00:12:17.360 You need to put your feelings aside.

00:12:18.400 But then girls also go for guys that they know are likely to cheat on them. 1.00

00:12:22.460 So there's the ex who cheated and there's the new guy who's just like, you know, this

00:12:26.980 guy's probably going to cheat on me.

00:12:28.100 But in your head, like, I can change him.

00:12:29.460 I can make him a better man.

00:12:30.460 Or maybe, maybe he won't.

00:12:31.760 Or maybe he won't do it to me.

00:12:33.160 Like, I'm me.

00:12:34.380 Cause you ask her like, what value do you bring?

00:12:36.220 Well, I'm me.

00:12:37.080 Well, that's, and that's the thing. 0.99

00:12:38.240 Like, cause women are kind of narcissistic. 1.00

00:12:40.080 Like, cause they, they, like, like we think we can, we're the one that's going to change

00:12:43.940 him, but it's like, there's a million, there's a new girl turning 22 every day.

00:12:50.020 As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this

00:12:57.100 platform.

00:12:58.100 If you want to help, please consider sending a super thanks below.

00:13:02.660 Every donation helps and it helps make what we do possible.

JustPearlyThings - March 29, 2023

This FEMINIST Said THIS

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