This Feminist Said THIS
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
193.57135
Summary
In this episode, we discuss why good wives leave and why bad wives stay. Do you think good wives should leave? Do you agree or disagree with our opinions on this topic? Do you believe in separation or do you think a good wife should stay with her husband?
Transcript
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good wives don't leave no matter what i'll give you please don't say it please i will give you
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no i will give you but good you know what good wives believe in separations they don't believe
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in divorce what do you mean when you say separation you mean they would separate do
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i mean legally basically living in the same house and not being married that's pointless like
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i had that growing up i had that growing up with my parents and i and i that's normal to me actually
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no i have to say that's more painful it was definitely the minute they got divorced for
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me it was as a child it was so much nicer no she's saying not you don't legally get divorced but i'm
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saying i think but you live separate in two different houses so that's basically the same
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no sometimes you live in the house yeah that's how we were we lived in the house that's what
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happened to me so tell me your thoughts do good wives leave yes or no and good wives only believe
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in separation they don't believe in divorce you can go it's all right you can disagree just what do you
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what do you think tell me why you're um i mean if you want to leave leave honestly it doesn't make
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you a bad person i just just leave like if i don't know they cheated or this or you're just not
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feeling anymore like both of you it's a mutual thing or okay just leave i don't believe in that
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separation so a good wife can leave yeah okay go ahead uh yeah i do agree with you um only because
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based of my personal experience and watching my parents be like that i always grew up wanting
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them to actually get a divorce because it was so damaging to us as children so i feel like
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life is way too short to stay in a marriage with someone that you are not happy with and to continue
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living a miserable life yeah why why put yourself through that why put your kids through that as well
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if kids are involved as well so i do think you can still be a good wife but you can also leave maybe
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do it for the kids yeah like well because kids have better outcomes i'm saying stay together for
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the kids oh i don't like no that's even worse no yeah but see i as i was the kid and i always wanted
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my parents to get a divorce i would even tell them but why don't you guys get a divorce because it was
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so painful seeing them be the way they were with each other living that separated life in the same
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house but how do you how do you know it would have been a better outcome for you you seem to have
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turned out okay right thank you um your outward appearance doesn't necessarily indicate what's
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going on on the inside though yeah exactly what i'm saying haven't you like i don't know um
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every statistic will tell you it's better to have two parents in the same house than it is yeah but
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one parent i know but then that kid also has to deal with that trauma for example i have trauma now
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growing up you may you may see me like this but like you don't know how i am inside like i have
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childhood trauma now because of my parents marriage and witnessing what went on in that house
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because they did not uh get a divorce did they not get along they would fight a lot yeah absolutely
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they did not get along and really and truly they should have got divorced but because of the kids
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they stayed and because my mom believed in this whole i need to be a good wife and i can't leave him
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now that he's old and throw him out she stayed but i wish she would have got divorced because that
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was really painful as a child growing up to see those things what if one of them had moved out
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though and you hadn't seen them as much would that have been painful as well do you think i think
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either way it would that either way it would have been but i actually would have preferred that
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if they had got different house yeah i would have liked my dad my dad's not alive anymore
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um but i would have liked it if he moved out and we saw him on weekends or something because i feel
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like it would have been a healthier environment for us kids i think it causes a divide and a toxic
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household as well yeah it was an extremely toxic household it was and it was really hard growing up
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dealing with that actually um and it's also given me trauma now that you know i'm in a relationship and
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i'm planning to get married and i worry that i'm gonna have the same life my mom and dad had which
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is a horrible feeling but that is what kids who go through those things end up feeling when they get
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to my age do you think that's me do you look at kind of marriage as a more kind of solid thing now
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though you look at it and you go i have to want this so badly yeah before i get it's like i want to break
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the generational curse now because because it's a lot of women in my family unfortunately left their
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husbands um that's that's that at least that's a positive outlook that you've got on it you can
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look at it and be like yeah i want to be successful that's yeah that's strong and can hold together
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even through hardship you can be like i don't want what happened before yeah at least it's something
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you can kind of yeah grow on and develop have you ever seen a healthy relationship no i don't have a
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representation of a healthy relationship no so how how would you learn how to be a wife
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um i'm doing a lot of inner work like i'm really searching inwards i you know i've looked into therapy
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i i've tried to work on myself i tried to work work on my traumas i really want to break that
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generational curse um so i have healthy open com you know conversations with my mom about these things
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in the past and her marriage with my dad we talk about these things on a daily basis um so i feel
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like i i have i have the right mindset now because i know what i don't want and i don't want that
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unhealthy toxic environment that unfortunately i grew up in as a child i don't want my kids to go
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through that so i feel like all the things that my mom and dad went through i don't want to be
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reenacting those in my marriage how are you um when it goes back to what you just asked um i agree
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with you um i don't have any parents in my life mom or dad um i had a mom who played uh a woman and
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father um but i think when it comes to relationships and what you choose i think it comes to choices and
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what you learn i think the world i think that's quite big to be honest but i think just like
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learning from people around you you just kind of sit back and be like do i like that do i accept
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that um and i think it's just choice really what makes you happy and you just build yourself if that
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makes sense like with me i think love's beautiful i would love yeah i would love to get married and
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it's not just marriage you know i understand where you're coming from it's like signing a paper and i
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get where you where like you come from i understand that but i feel like there's someone out there for
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everyone i agree you know yeah and i yeah i agree with you and i think i would love to get that
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why do you think that why because what was that i didn't even hear it oh there's not there's not
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someone for everyone why yeah because some women die alone a lot of women do they do all the time
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some men die alone but how do you know they didn't have the love of their life yeah and they lost it
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yeah because one out of three men are sex because karma
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one out of three men are either virgins or having had sex in the past year plus there's more women
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than men but they lost the love of their life because of karma because no no there's more women
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than men on the planet so if every woman had someone there would be eat 50 50 but there's also
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can i ask you a question do you see yourself sorry a bit off topic but i'm just quite curious
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would you do you see yourself marrying a man or not like again i would only ever get married if that
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other person really wanted it but i i've actually this is probably the first time i've ever openly
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like publicly um but yeah i mean i yeah either way if it's the if it met a lot to the other person
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and i you know felt like it i was in a position in my life to be like that's really if that means so
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much to you i want to be able to give that to you would you marry a woman yeah yeah why me
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but i i again it wouldn't be because i want to even with the nagging
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i nag to myself that's enough sometimes who here thinks i just want to raise a hand who thinks good
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wives don't leave you do everyone else thinks good wives leave oh actually wait no good wives will
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never leave good good wives you you think that i don't think you're no you're not a wife if you
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leave i think if you sign up for something you're not you're no longer a wife if you leave are you
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you're no longer so so you're neither someone else's wife yeah but you're not in that situation
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you're no longer the wife to be a good wife so are you a good wife i'm just gonna i just kind of
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want to break this down okay this is why men are complaining it's like they maybe get one meal from
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a good wife and she's she's okay to leave if she feels like it and we fight i mean he's okay to leave
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as well like it's a two-way street you know what i mean like it's not i mean but but the thing is we
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don't have anything on the line if a man marries you you i'm doing a documentary on the court system
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here you you literally are paid like lawyers um you are you get a free counsel here if you say that
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he abused you and you can deny him access for his kids up to two years trying to get like he doesn't
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have a chance in court vice versa i know no it's not vice no no but vice versa it's so much harsher on the
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mom isn't it no it's so it's so much harsher on the man to the point 90 of the time um women get
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custody yeah and it's actually like it's actually a really it's really sad i'm interviewing some of
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the guys that have like been through it it's it's there are guys that haven't seen their kid in four
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years because their ex accused them of abuse and they never did it there's no proof there's no
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how'd you know they didn't do it because there's no proof that doesn't mean anything
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that doesn't it doesn't mean that they do something or they okay you think it's do you
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think it's okay to deny access to children with no evidence of a crime no evidence they never
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press charges no evidence i think it very much depends we should just take take women's word
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amber heard's word oh that's another that's another thing so it's like what are guys getting out of
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this and is it is it just um is it just what it's abuse is it is it also like mental coercion as well
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and they're expanding that's what they're doing they're expanding the definition of abuse so
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if a girl says oh i want to buy two thousand dollars worth of addresses and he says no that
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he can put that under like mental financial coercion or something or if he said if he said oh stop
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following guys on instagram or something that could be seen as manipulation it's really it's really
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scary the more there's this one story where the woman um accused him of of touching the kids and
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remember oh my god remember remember they're financially incentivized to do that and then what
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they can do is they go to family court and in family court you don't actually have a jury to judge
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you of your peers which you should be entitled to and so they can go to family court and deny
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you access to your kids until they actually um finish yeah and that can take up to two years
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so if he has a newborn he won't see the kid for two years and she has no punishment if she lied
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like this is what men are this is what men have to deal with here and it's like if she lied
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honestly i feel like she should have punishment that that should be yeah but you know what happened to him
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he killed himself oh well but they but they women do get punished for for example like i don't really
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know but if like she accuses the man of like not in family court sexually assaulting no they don't
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in family court i'm telling you i've interviewed the guys that they don't it's really sad and so
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it's like the guys are like well what do we get out of this and we can't even like admit we can't
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even say what's a good wife what's a bad wife it's really sad yeah because it's different it's too
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vague because it's so vague saying what's a good wife because everyone has their own experiences
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their own interpretations yeah but we know vaguely what's a good husband what's a bad husband a
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husband you wouldn't want a husband that like doesn't protect you that if someone tries to beat
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you up he's like oh go do it yourself babe we could say in generalities that women like men want thin
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wives in general i mean maybe slim thick they're allowed to say that if they want to say that they can
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say that right but i'm saying we can't even say it they can't even get three meals out of us
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for a good remember i kept saying an a plus student except except you she gives three meals
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i like cooking so it's like there we go see i feel like you gotta like doing something haven't you to
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be like it's like the gym isn't it you gotta enjoy it no actually no i mean i work at it so i have to
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i'm trying i'm trying with the gym shout out to my boxing coach i'm trying to remember watching this
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like good i keep it sorry thank you all right i'm gonna read super chats really quick um also guys
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make sure you like the video and let me know in the comments what do you guys think good wife bad
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wife what what do you think um makes a good wife okay see dumbledore half of the girls over 30 are single
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and childless the percent is rising every year of the six girls on the show at least three of you
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will die alone i hope at this point i hope uh black moses pearl stop being soft with these women
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uh manny f so michelle obama should have left barack obama because she hated him for 10 years out of
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their 30 years together follow me stop blaming them and get counseling uh scott and bradley a shout
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black moses um they can't answer simple questions and they keep talking about the exceptions women
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like them are the reason guys get passports fellas invest in cat food and box wine um battery
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buddies logan his money is our money my money is my money this is why we don't care about your
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career or your education ladies we don't get the benefit at all we still need to earn you'll notice no
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men are lining up to date oprah follow me um you can still work on your education which is more
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important not your career a scout and bradley uh to a good man his wife and his kids come first
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always brownie to the panel do women now focus on imaginary patriarchy just to distract themselves
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from the fact they no longer know how to be as many of you know i was just banned on tick tock
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