JustPearlyThings - August 26, 2023


This Happens When Women Make Decisions


Episode Stats


Length

9 minutes

Words per minute

212.04543

Word count

2,035

Sentence count

204

Harmful content

Misogyny

24

sentences flagged

Toxicity

28

sentences flagged

Hate speech

15

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss abuse in the home and how to protect your children. We also discuss how to deal with emotional and physical abuse in a marriage and what to do if you find out your husband is abusing you.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 It's going to get more worse.
00:00:00.800 There's nothing worse than what's going on right now.
00:00:03.360 None of you can lie.
00:00:04.460 There's nothing worse than what's going on right now.
00:00:07.140 You are right.
00:00:08.160 We should really and truly protect the kids because at the end of the day,
00:00:11.560 everyone in this room, we are road models to a child regardless.
00:00:16.280 But there's nothing worse than what it is right now.
00:00:19.260 You can't do anything worse than what's going on.
00:00:21.520 Yeah, but how can you change it?
00:00:23.440 I have a couple things.
00:00:24.960 I got some solutions for you.
00:00:27.740 So I say one, we got to get rid of no-fault divorce.
00:00:31.220 Once you get married, you're stuck for life.
00:00:34.160 Yes, I think that's number one.
00:00:36.440 No, I think I'll give you an out.
00:00:38.640 I'll give you one out. 1.00
00:00:39.980 I'll give you an out for abuse if he's beating your ass. 1.00
00:00:42.960 All right. 0.99
00:00:43.420 But none of this money abuse.
00:00:48.560 Certain people would just say, oh, this is what's happening.
00:00:52.700 Oh, I know.
00:00:53.520 Women lie all the time about it. 1.00
00:00:55.100 So, but what I would do is I would make it so if she falsely accuses you, she goes to jail. 0.99
00:01:02.660 And it would be really harsh.
00:01:03.920 Isn't that why you're going to prove?
00:01:04.340 So what about emotional abuse?
00:01:05.660 Because you've got physical and you've got an emotional abuse.
00:01:07.980 No, I don't believe in that.
00:01:09.240 Oh, God.
00:01:09.700 Yeah, I think emotional abuse is worse than that.
00:01:11.840 You don't believe in...
00:01:13.040 No, I think women emotionally abuse men. 0.80
00:01:15.540 I don't think men emotionally abuse women.
00:01:16.520 You don't believe in manipulation, narcissistic behaviors?
00:01:19.100 No, I think all of these are just words that women make up to make themselves victims. 1.00
00:01:24.380 So when the...
00:01:25.640 And that's why we...
00:01:26.600 Sorry. 1.00
00:01:27.000 What if you woke up every morning and your husband looked at you and said, you look disgusting. 0.99
00:01:32.460 Well, then I'd say... 0.98
00:01:33.100 What am I doing with you?
00:01:33.780 I'd say, how can I improve?
00:01:35.340 And then what if he says, you can't?
00:01:37.160 Right?
00:01:37.780 What do you do then?
00:01:38.780 Well, then I'd say...
00:01:39.700 I think that sometimes we just want to make ourselves victims.
00:01:43.780 Like, what is that going to do?
00:01:44.920 Okay.
00:01:45.520 You married me.
00:01:46.920 So would you kind of say, like...
00:01:48.480 All right, then, cool.
00:01:49.860 Except for abuse.
00:01:50.920 Like, let's just put abuse in another category because that's separate.
00:01:54.420 So would you say, like, for example, the woman has to, like, be already, like, acceptable, 0.92
00:02:01.500 like, make herself acceptable for the man, such as if she was fat, you know, fat's falling out everywhere, 0.66
00:02:06.700 like a bag of potatoes. 0.85
00:02:07.680 Yeah, I think she...
00:02:08.300 She would have to hit the gym. 0.97
00:02:09.260 Yes.
00:02:09.660 Or possibly even get surgery to die on the table.
00:02:12.380 Or, like, would you say that's the extent a woman would have to go to to... 0.99
00:02:15.500 That to get surgery?
00:02:16.480 Okay, I think that we should start with the treadmill.
00:02:19.400 Yeah, definitely.
00:02:19.940 Okay.
00:02:20.460 But, yeah, I think if you told you...
00:02:21.860 Or a salad.
00:02:23.820 Self-improvement.
00:02:24.700 But the wife is cooking steak and macaroni and cheese for her man, so she's never really gonna... 0.99
00:02:30.000 Yeah, but she can eat the salad, though. 0.99
00:02:31.900 Yeah, I'm all for self-improvement.
00:02:33.620 But that's still the woman lowering herself to meet the man's expectations. 0.99
00:02:39.120 Wait, wait, wait.
00:02:39.900 Self-improvement is a must, man or woman. 0.97
00:02:41.900 Yeah, it is, but...
00:02:42.340 Self-improvement is a must, but there's emotional abuse where someone's making you feel like
00:02:47.700 you don't want to live, then you're gonna stay with that person when there's a whole
00:02:51.100 wild world out here today.
00:02:51.740 How can somebody...
00:02:52.320 I just think nobody can make me feel anything.
00:02:54.840 I think women gotta stop... 1.00
00:02:55.600 Some people are not that strong.
00:02:56.480 I think...
00:02:56.960 No, I think women... 1.00
00:02:58.020 Feeling like victims.
00:02:58.120 I think women... 1.00
00:02:58.640 I know, because women are addicted to being victims. 1.00
00:03:00.660 Look at every movie on TV.
00:03:02.680 We're emotional creatures.
00:03:03.640 Every...
00:03:04.080 I agree with you.
00:03:05.360 I agree with you, but, like, we just have a society that never tells us the truth.
00:03:08.860 And, like, we look in every TV show, every Taylor Swift song, it's, you are a victim.
00:03:12.880 Poor you.
00:03:13.620 Yeah.
00:03:13.860 Like, at some point, Taylor Swift, I want an album.
00:03:16.400 It was me.
00:03:17.620 I am the problem.
00:03:19.240 That's where...
00:03:19.860 That's where...
00:03:20.680 That's where...
00:03:21.300 Well, like I was saying earlier, leadership comes back in.
00:03:23.700 Because if you have a strong man in the house that's representing leadership, and he's putting...
00:03:30.380 Installing strength and installing...
00:03:32.640 Yeah, but he's going to tell you the truth, and you're still not going to like it.
00:03:34.940 But then...
00:03:35.320 Nobody likes it.
00:03:35.820 No, no, no.
00:03:36.300 She'll say she was emotionally abused.
00:03:38.320 Yeah.
00:03:38.500 But then there's the truth, and then there's just...
00:03:41.500 Someone just blatantly taking the piss, and just knowing that you're not strong.
00:03:45.240 I can't lie to you.
00:03:46.260 It all stems from the beginning, though. 1.00
00:03:47.500 So, like, everyone has to pick their piece of shit, and I think... 0.99
00:03:53.160 And work with it. 0.99
00:03:53.800 And you have to work with it, because realistically, realistically, in a way, you know, a piece 1.00
00:04:00.040 of shit and a piece of shit together is a big part of shit, so... 1.00
00:04:03.100 So, let's just live in and be honest. 1.00
00:04:04.740 Well, why is it always assumed that he's the piece of shit? 1.00
00:04:07.200 Maybe you're the piece of shit. 1.00
00:04:08.160 You know what I mean? 1.00
00:04:08.880 No one's perfect.
00:04:10.000 Realistically, there's some traits that you yourself are going to have to water down to 1.00
00:04:14.600 match the piece of shit. 1.00
00:04:15.680 Yeah. 1.00
00:04:16.000 So, well...
00:04:17.500 Look, everyone's got problems, right?
00:04:20.680 Right.
00:04:21.100 Yeah.
00:04:21.320 Everyone has problems.
00:04:22.760 But so...
00:04:23.200 So, I just think...
00:04:24.540 I think that a lot of times women want to, like, say, oh, the man didn't lead. 1.00
00:04:28.720 But usually, this is just what I find.
00:04:31.120 I really think men naturally do lead when they have women that follow, that don't give them 0.98
00:04:36.300 help.
00:04:36.540 But then...
00:04:36.940 But that's the thing.
00:04:37.780 Not every man...
00:04:39.140 I mean, it's nice to find the ones that do lead, but there's a lot of men that don't
00:04:43.140 know how to lead, and that's due to, like, maybe their upbringing...
00:04:45.540 Why don't you...
00:04:46.200 Would you give them the opportunity?
00:04:47.780 Wait, I have a question.
00:04:49.240 But who raised those men?
00:04:50.600 Right.
00:04:50.880 That's what I'm saying.
00:04:51.280 Sometimes they don't...
00:04:52.160 Sometimes they're men...
00:04:53.460 Yeah, right.
00:04:53.960 But sometimes they're not raised correctly or raised in a two-parent home where you need
00:04:58.020 a man and a woman.
00:04:58.920 And that's the problem because women keep leaving. 1.00
00:05:01.300 And they have no respect for...
00:05:02.380 You've got men that don't respect women in the first place because of the way they were 1.00
00:05:05.840 raised.
00:05:06.240 Why would they when their mom left?
00:05:07.860 Right.
00:05:08.200 That's what I mean.
00:05:08.820 So it all goes back down to the leadership.
00:05:10.640 Once you've got good leadership...
00:05:11.420 No, it goes back to the women's choices. 0.69
00:05:13.860 Fair enough.
00:05:14.520 No, I feel like there's a lot of aspects to why...
00:05:17.720 Yeah, there's a lot of...
00:05:18.080 I feel personally, I feel like for men who can't lead a woman or even his family, I feel
00:05:25.480 like there's a lot of, like, background issues that go into that.
00:05:28.600 Exactly.
00:05:28.780 However, where I have to actually step into this and be like, you have to also be strong
00:05:35.400 for the man.
00:05:36.460 You have to also be there for the man.
00:05:38.320 If your man is weak, which you as a married person, if you feel like you're weak in certain
00:05:43.060 aspects, for example, you're sick, your woman's going to look after you. 0.99
00:05:46.280 If you feel like, you know...
00:05:48.280 You've not met my wife.
00:05:49.820 Oh.
00:05:50.680 She leads me to it.
00:05:52.320 Fair enough.
00:05:52.700 But in certain circumstances, like, if you feel like you're weak in a relationship, that
00:05:59.980 person should be able to nurture you and you should be able to do the same thing for the
00:06:03.780 other person.
00:06:04.180 A lot of women don't submit nowadays, and that's the truth. 1.00
00:06:06.920 There's a lot of women, especially of this generation, everything that's going on with 1.00
00:06:10.140 social media, like you said, a lot of women do not know how to submit. 1.00
00:06:13.260 Do you know how to submit?
00:06:15.320 I think I definitely do now.
00:06:16.900 I think when I was 16, 17, I don't think I knew how to submit.
00:06:20.420 But now, that's what I want to do.
00:06:23.000 So he tells you, delete your Instagram.
00:06:25.880 Are you doing it?
00:06:26.620 Yeah, absolutely.
00:06:27.800 It doesn't mean that much to me.
00:06:29.020 Okay.
00:06:29.440 I mean, I love my Instagram and I, you know, that's where I network and do my music and
00:06:35.420 stuff.
00:06:35.820 But if I was with somebody that I felt that secure with and happy with and we're building
00:06:41.020 a life together and I ask him to do something he doesn't mind, why not?
00:06:45.960 Well, I think the issue that I get into, or I see a lot as women think we submit, but
00:06:52.120 it's really conditional submission because it's only when he's leading perfectly.
00:06:56.880 No, but no one's perfect.
00:06:57.960 Yeah.
00:06:58.160 But that's, but like when you were saying earlier, oh, he stopped leading, you know,
00:07:02.020 it's like, is he only supposed to love you when you're being perfect?
00:07:06.160 It's not even just about love.
00:07:07.740 It's about, it's about, there's a lot of things, there's a lot of aspects into having
00:07:11.140 a relationship and it's about trust.
00:07:13.040 If you're waking up happy, if you're waking up unhappy every day, then I don't see why
00:07:19.220 you should hear me at all.
00:07:20.740 I think your happiness doesn't matter.
00:07:22.800 Of course it does.
00:07:23.560 No, I don't think it matters at all.
00:07:25.380 I think we've told us women.
00:07:26.940 Yeah, I know.
00:07:27.560 I know.
00:07:28.200 Shocking.
00:07:28.760 But that's, I mean, that's what both men and women.
00:07:31.100 I want to hear what you have to say.
00:07:32.360 I'll tell you.
00:07:33.000 So, so I think we live in a society that's very self-centered and everything's about us.
00:07:37.520 And I think especially women, we've gotten a ton of attention from the time we were like 0.92
00:07:42.000 14, 15 years old when we got on social media, you know, or whenever, right?
00:07:47.460 Because we got Facebook, we got, and so you're immediately given all this attention from men,
00:07:52.040 right?
00:07:52.780 And I think this has kind of made us brainwashed to think we're more important than we are.
00:07:57.340 We're more special than we are.
00:07:58.800 And I think we think our opinion matters more than it does.
00:08:01.940 I'm not saying our opinion doesn't matter at all, but I don't think, I think couples that
00:08:07.260 really made it 50, 60 years, they weren't concerned about happiness.
00:08:11.360 I think they were concerned about duty and playing your role.
00:08:13.860 Yeah.
00:08:14.080 But now we've been told it's about me, me, me and my happiness.
00:08:17.580 And I think that should be last, especially when you got kids.
00:08:20.360 I feel like that is due now, because if you look at it, social media has given so many
00:08:26.100 people a voice.
00:08:26.980 I feel like social media is definitely a bigger part to play in it.
00:08:29.540 And I also have to blame Disney because Cinderella, Snow White, Mulan, we all know how it's gone.
00:08:37.320 It's been pushing our faces to have that fairy tale.
00:08:39.320 But I feel like where we go wrong is, realistically, everyone deserves happiness. 0.99
00:08:45.240 Why would you want to be in a situation where it's a shit show? 0.99
00:08:48.320 Well, I think a lot of times women don't even know what makes us happy. 1.00
00:08:52.060 And no, no, seriously, because we think very short term.
00:08:56.960 So we'll go for that top guy, right?
00:08:59.760 And is getting pumped and dumped a couple, you know, by the top guys really going to make
00:09:04.100 us happy.
00:09:04.760 Like, think about it.
00:09:05.420 The last hundred years, we've had more choice than ever.
00:09:07.980 We could do anything we want. 0.99
00:09:09.600 And we have chosen to be whores as a group. 0.96
00:09:12.020 A hundred years ago, 85% of us were virgins on our wedding days. 0.98
00:09:16.260 Think about that.
00:09:17.060 A hundred years ago, even, even let's just say the women were liars, right? 1.00
00:09:20.920 And let's double the amount.
00:09:22.200 Like, let's make it from 15 to 30%.
00:09:24.040 That's still two out of three that waited till they were married, got married young,
00:09:26.980 stayed married.
00:09:28.180 And so it's like, what has us choosing done for us, for our happiness?
00:09:32.560 When we follow our hearts, it's like, we're led to destruction.