This Iranian Lady BLAMED Her Country For Ruining Her Childhood
Episode Stats
Words per minute
199.56195
Harmful content
Misogyny
39
sentences flagged
Toxicity
28
sentences flagged
Hate speech
27
sentences flagged
Summary
In this episode, we are joined by a very special guest, an Iranian-born British expat living in the UK. We talk about racism in Iran, the importance of being proud of your culture and what it means to be Iranian.
Transcript
00:00:03.760
It's like, honestly, I was so lucky that nobody in my family, like, better than I lived.
00:00:10.500
But Iranians are, like, it is, it is, you know.
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00:00:17.840
Ellie, how old were you when you came to the UK?
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Yeah, see, so that's the culture that you've grown up with.
00:00:29.460
No, I was, I was really, I mean, um, and that's why I sometimes I feel like, um, I'm not trying to blame it on my parents.
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00:00:38.500
I'm not trying to blame it on the culture, but obviously that's the place I grew up.
00:00:46.460
But you, you know, you, you, what do you think about, you know, black men, when you say black men, what do you think about it?
00:00:51.540
I never even thought about it because obviously that when I was living in Iran, I hardly see any black guy.
00:00:58.800
But when you came here, when you came here, what do you think about it?
00:01:02.760
When I came here, so obviously we didn't have conversation when I came here, but then I was looking around because obviously England is very, um, diverse.
00:01:11.680
It's very multicultural and I think one of the reasons I started to learn before learning from Neda is living in the country with diversity.
00:01:21.240
What did you, so the, earlier you were talking about like fat acceptance too.
00:01:26.520
That was something your daughter, was that something your daughter taught you?
00:01:29.340
So I think, um, she makes me aware, she maybe, in terms of the word, maybe not teaching is the right word, but she makes me think twice.
00:01:42.540
She makes me think about what I believe and my culture.
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And I kind of feel like, oh, my culture was shit.
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I don't like my culture, I don't want to be like, I don't want to be traditional Persian.
1.00
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Iranians just, I don't know, because of the Persian Empire or whatever.
00:01:58.260
We think like, we say about the Jews, about, sorry?
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00:02:04.400
But my husband was Iranian and Mandana is right.
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There is loads of conversation about like Jewish people in Iran.
00:02:13.340
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, it's the Greeks, the Jews, they're like, it's, yeah, so it's not only, it's not only one, just there is this, there is this arrogance in the Iranian culture, obviously not like individuals, but just in the culture of we're the best, we did this, unfortunately, but I feel like it's, it's, it's, um, it's, it's a little sad to me that you don't see anything to be proud of from your culture.
00:02:39.080
You don't, it doesn't seem like you find anything to be proud of from your culture.
00:02:43.100
Yeah, no, I, I do proud, I, I don't think I've heard you say like one positive, and I understand a lot of that's negative.
00:02:48.600
No, because we were talking about the racism, that sort of things, I'm not proud at all, and I'm going to say it, I'm saying it.
00:02:56.400
The Persian Empire did a lot, I mean, King Cyrus the Great, it was the first, he wrote the first declaration of human rights was written in Persia, before that there was no human rights, there was no declaration of it, and freed slaves, and, um, I don't know,
00:03:12.080
we owned like 52% of the world, and we, I say, the Persian Empire did, and, um, it was, you know, letting people choose their religion and all of that, so there's a lot of good that's in our culture, but also don't forget, we, uh, there was a revolution, how many years ago?
00:03:29.080
What is, what is your, um, what is your relationship with your ex-husband?
00:03:34.080
Yeah, no, like, how does, like, does he also learn from your daughter too, do you think?
00:03:42.080
She has like, um, anger management with her dad, because she said to me, Mommy, I think daddy needs, um, anger management, and I'm doing it with him, I'm teaching him, when she's, when he's angry, he doesn't know what he's saying, he just quickly saying it.
00:03:57.080
And she, he's really upsetting me, and I know he doesn't mean to do that, but because he's angry, he just let it out.
00:04:04.080
So, and I think my ex really listening to her, and I think she's got a really, you know, good impact on, on both of us.
00:04:14.080
I wanted to ask you, was there an element of discomfort for you, when you go with your current partner, because obviously he's not Iranian, he's black either.
00:04:22.080
As, as you said, I, I might come across that I'm not proud of my culture.
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There's another side of me that I'm such a proud Persian girl, because I think Iranian people are the most, uh, friendliest and kindest, and you know, they're, they're always looking on a positive side of things.
00:04:41.080
They're always looking for a, enjoy every moment.
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And I, I, I think there are so many good qualities in Iranian, which I, if I want to talk about it, it's a lot.
00:04:52.080
And you're in like the most like popular Iranian TV, um, aren't you? TV, TV channel.
00:05:03.080
It is, it is like, it is literally like the most popular.
00:05:18.080
So what else, um, what did you guys think about the clip that we watched about competing?
00:05:23.080
Um, again, it's just that narrative, that narrative that's just triggered by the
00:05:34.060
Your actions and your words are just not in alignment, you know?
00:05:42.060
It wasn't like one of the really argumentative.
00:05:46.060
Yeah, so, and he wasn't going too hard maybe because he was aware of that, you know?
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We have to compete in different ways, but we still have to compete.
00:06:06.060
Because if, say for example, she's in a relationship now, and then she gains a bunch...
00:06:11.060
the person that she was when she gets into the relationship, and then she changes in a negative
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way, then if the man looks elsewhere, is that his fault?
00:06:22.060
Why do we have songs like, I don't cook, I don't clean, implying that women don't have
1.00
00:06:31.060
Yeah, I don't listen to Cardi B. Like, women should not really work.
1.00
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The kind of money she's got, she should get made, didn't it?
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Yeah, I don't listen to Cardi B. I suppose it applies to her, isn't it?
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But yeah, but then obviously that message, you know, gets transmitted to people who aren't
00:06:49.060
And then they end up in their 40s and 50s, like, I'm happy, I'm kind of, you know, it's
00:06:54.060
She says she don't cook, she don't clean, but let me tell you how I got this ring.
00:06:57.060
And then Meg comes in talking all the sexual stuff.
1.00
00:07:07.060
No, and that's the crazy part, is they're lying.
00:07:10.060
Cardi B just talked about how she was going to step away from her rap career to spend more
00:07:21.060
Like, all the single ladies, she says, if she runs back to her.
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Apart from the old school, like Aretha Franklin.
00:08:03.060
So, in a way, it's like, in a way, aren't you not monogamous now?
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Like, usually the girl is monogamous, but the guy isn't.
00:08:20.060
But it's like, if you've ever been in a situationship, in a way, you're sharing a guy.
00:08:30.060
I wouldn't be in a, like, committed relationship with someone.
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And then be okay with him sleeping with anyone else.
00:08:43.060
I didn't say okay with it, but what about accept it?
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Even if I wanted to, like, I don't, like, I don't judge other people who do.
00:08:51.060
Maybe I would like to want to, but I'm telling you, like, someone would die.
00:09:04.060
I am a little bit oblivious, because I'm very much in my own...
00:09:07.060
I always say I've never been cheated of, not that I know of.
00:09:15.060
I mean, if he did cheat, and he would be so dumb for me to find.
00:09:20.060
Like, I don't check a man's phone or, like, stalk him.
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00:09:26.060
But if I did find out, if I did find out, like, if I walked in on him with someone else,
00:09:35.060
I would like to be like, why, like, why did you do that?
1.00
00:09:39.060
Yeah, but I would do that four days straight.
1.00
00:10:05.060
And go through the whole thing of meeting a new woman.
00:10:10.060
Do you think most men, if they're in, like, Tiger Woods position?
00:10:17.060
Like, I know these guys that would never cheat.
00:10:19.060
But it's like, most of those guys aren't in the position where women are chasing them down.
00:10:40.060
Yeah, but then I wouldn't go out with somebody like in...
00:10:42.060
That's why I wouldn't go out with a footballer even if I could.
00:10:47.060
Why would you want to go out with a guy who does have women throwing themselves on him all the time?
1.00
00:10:54.060
But then I was going to say now, like, if the guy, high value, whatever, whatever, you're kept.
00:11:00.060
You can just play football all day and then come home and do four days straight.
00:11:05.060
And then on the fifth day, he's with Becky from the local ball pit.
00:11:19.060
And now you get to just be a stay-at-home wife just once a week.
1.00
00:11:25.060
We're going to have to get the police up here again.
00:12:15.060
I cannot tell you how much I couldn't get over that.
00:12:22.060
I mean, you talked about a casual relationship.
00:12:51.060
And then if you go and do that behind my back, no.
00:13:00.060
See, this is like a lack of understanding of guys.
00:13:05.060
I mean, I think even good guys would have a hard time
00:13:07.060
if they're in a position where women are throwing at themselves
1.00
00:13:17.060
...women throwing themselves at him all the time.
1.00
00:13:22.060
It's like, the guy you're with, he said he's athletic.
00:13:28.060
He probably is in a position where women are throwing themselves at him.
1.00
00:13:31.060
That's like three out of five things that you want most of the time.
00:13:51.060
I think me and Mondana have so many questions from our partners tonight.
00:13:56.060
No, it's just, I had a guy point this out to me once.
00:13:59.060
Like, women will say they won't accept, like, non-monogamy.
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00:14:03.060
Yet, most women have been in a situationship at some point, which is non-monogamy.
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00:14:09.060
But I have friends that their husband just cheated on them a few times and they're still living together.
00:14:23.060
And you get into a relationship with a guy or you've been with a guy and you find out he cheated
00:14:42.060
Would a man stay with a woman who cheated on him?
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00:14:57.060
My brain doesn't have that part where it could accept that.
00:15:05.060
You see what I'm saying though, but you're in a situationship now.
00:15:14.060
It's just like, it's a contradiction because you're saying, I could never accept it.
00:15:18.060
But if you're in a non-monogamous relationship...
00:15:36.060
It's just interesting how I'll talk to girls about this and they'll be like, no, I would
1.00
00:15:49.060
And then a lot of those same girls are in situationships.
1.00
00:16:11.060
But it's again, it's still a contradiction because you are, you know, so you have it in
00:16:38.060
I would say 80% he isn't, but then I don't know.
00:16:47.060
I have reason to believe he isn't, but I don't know 100% he might be.
00:16:59.060
It's just, I'm just looking at the reality and putting...
00:17:03.060
And I don't think he would be, but he could be.
00:17:08.060
But if I did see it or if I had evidence or if I did even think, no, he probably is.
00:17:17.060
If he doesn't care about you, he's going to tell you the truth.
00:17:20.060
I asked him kind of four or five months in and he said he wasn't.
00:17:30.060
But you said that the headache that he gave him was within six months and then four or five months
00:17:34.060
that you asked him if he's sleeping with anyone else.
00:17:40.060
But you said you were not in relationship with him.
00:17:43.060
But she's saying I'm still in a situation ship.
00:17:46.060
But do you agree that you're in a situation ship?
00:17:56.060
Do you know it to be true that he isn't sleeping with anyone else?
00:18:02.060
You guys are trying to break up these relationships.
00:18:20.060
I don't think women who stay with their men with children, I don't think,
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00:18:26.060
We had a guy who he talked about that he would break up with girls.
00:18:34.060
Because he just felt like he couldn't stay faithful to them.
00:18:45.060
And he ended up like marrying this last girl because she said she could accept it.
00:18:52.060
And that girl on Dona, I mean, she ended up winning when you think about it
00:19:01.060
I mean, I guess when you do have your own money, I guess that maybe that's what...
00:19:07.060
It doesn't mean anything to me for him to pay for everything.
00:19:10.060
It would be nice to be paid for everything and then you can just buy new football boots and stuff.
00:19:20.060
Yeah, for me, it's more important to have him to myself than have him paid for my bills.
00:19:22.060
But even if it's just looks like a guy you're really attracted to, even if it's height...
00:19:29.060
I mean, either way, most guys that you want, there aren't enough, like, more women want them.
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00:19:39.060
I was like, I bet all your female friends won't sleep with you 100%.
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00:19:48.060
Okay, why don't you guys give me your final thoughts, so starting here and then go around.
00:19:52.060
This is, you can plug any social media, anything, any final things you want to say.
00:20:06.060
So the funny thing is I've been to obviously different shows and I love cameras and I've been different cameras and stuff.
00:20:15.060
But this is my first experience with podcasting.
00:20:19.060
And I find it amazing because I think when you talk about things and it's one of those environment is very exclusive
00:20:26.060
that you can feel and I feel so, you know, you're so easy and, you know, make us feel so at home that you feel like you can talk about it.
00:20:36.060
You challenge me quite well and I find it difficult.
00:20:40.060
But from the other side, I find it amazing because you made me think about so many things and you all with the conversation I never thought before.
00:20:50.060
And I kind of, you kind of make me aware of actually, and tonight probably when I'm going to bed, I'm going to think, oh, when she asked me that question, that's interesting.
00:20:58.060
Actually, I am this or I am that or maybe I'm not comfortable talking about this and that.
00:21:10.060
Overall, I'm well aware of, you know, your work and stuff.
00:21:26.060
So AM Alpha Mike Global Letts, a property management company.
00:21:31.060
So holla at me for all you landlords out there that need your properties managed.
00:21:36.060
And yeah, thanks for having us on the show, pal, man.
00:21:55.060
It was lovely meeting everyone except for that little scenario there.
00:22:11.060
No, it's really, it's really great like being with you.
00:22:15.060
Like I've, I've seen, obviously I've seen you on YouTube and that.
00:22:28.060
So it was great to just be here and be able to, um, give some opinions.
00:22:32.060
And I really hope, I hope it makes a difference to the younger generation from our mistakes.
00:22:59.060
This is like the most diverse panel I've ever had.
00:23:02.060
I think everyone, was anyone born in the same country?
00:23:16.060
To be honest, Mondana was a good backup for me.
00:23:19.060
That's why she had to go because she was born in England.
00:23:30.060
I'm going to read this last, um, super chats before we end the show.
00:23:35.060
Um, also guys, a big shout out to security for keeping us safe from crazy.
00:23:41.060
Um, also guys, um, we're going to be doing a meetup soon in England.
00:23:47.060
So if you want to come to one of our meetups, make sure you sign up for the Google form.
00:23:51.060
Um, so you are, um, you know, notified when we do do that, that should be in the chat.
00:24:01.060
Uh, I can't read your username, but from one security guard to another great job.
00:24:10.060
It would be nice to work together one day, maybe one day in the USA.
00:24:15.060
Norm McDonald's broke the Tiger Woods cheating down.
00:24:20.060
10 minutes in the episode and a guest is already, um, trying to compare her personal circle experience to the majority.
00:24:29.060
Manny, also first generation, um, warning label, TY Pods.
0.64
00:24:33.060
Um, Walt as a six foot six figure Gen Z man.
0.78
00:24:38.060
One year minimum, um, dating and engagement at 30.
00:24:50.060
Um, I think that's all the announcements I really have.
00:25:01.060
We're going to try to move the podcast an hour earlier.
00:25:08.060
So like the video on your way out guys, subscribe to the channel and I'll talk to you next time.
00:25:14.060
Welcome to the just pearly things YouTube channel and welcome to the pregame.
00:25:26.060
I think they do do it for the men, but it's like sexual tension.
00:25:32.060
You can go get a BBL, get a nice body and you do get more attention from men than if you're flat, right?
00:25:41.060
But it goes so deeper though, because I know who you're talking about and she has a great body.
00:25:48.060
So you got to think about how far down deep that she is within watching the Instagram models,
00:25:57.060
That her great body doesn't look good to a man.
00:26:00.060
But you think that men have higher standards for women,
00:26:03.060
not that the men have the higher standards they have to live up to, just to clarify.
00:26:06.060
I think men have higher standards for women.
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00:26:10.060
So like the women have higher beauty standards to meet.
1.00
00:26:12.060
And that's what's making women feel like they need to comply with these standards.
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00:26:26.060
Do you think men are very like, if they've got a certain standard, they're more rigid than women.
1.00
00:26:36.060
They will not settle down with somebody with a fake old lips, the eyebrows.
00:26:41.060
So I done an OnlyFans, but it wasn't like vagina, boobs, it was lingerie, yeah, boobs, whatever.
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I done it and when I finished it, I felt very degraded.
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00:26:53.060
Now I know there's girls out there who do that, they don't feel that way.
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00:26:58.060
But me personally, like in the future, like when I have kids and all in the future,
00:27:03.060
and if my kids found out about that, they'll probably get bullied in school.
00:27:06.060
People will be like, oh, you're a man doing this, you're a man doing that,
00:27:09.060
He's not going to, if you don't respect yourself and you're selling your body online,
00:27:12.060
I can't speak for everyone, I can just speak for myself.
00:27:15.060
If you're selling your body online like that, there's not a high respect for yourself.
00:27:33.060
As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
00:27:42.060
If you want to help, please consider sending a super thanks below.
00:27:46.060
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