JustPearlyThings - March 25, 2023


This Is A LIE Told To Modern Men


Episode Stats


Length

9 minutes

Words per minute

228.02548

Word count

2,148

Sentence count

175

Harmful content

Misogyny

20

sentences flagged

Hate speech

14

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss the differences between men and women when it comes to emotional stability. Who do you think is more emotionally unstable, men or women? Do you think women are more emotionally stable or are men emotionally unstable?

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Who do you think is more emotionally unstable, men or women?
00:00:03.220 I think men are now. 0.81
00:00:04.720 I would have said women before, but I feel like maybe.
00:00:08.620 Women. 0.81
00:00:10.160 Sorry, go ahead.
00:00:11.200 Really?
00:00:11.660 Yeah, I think women. 1.00
00:00:12.760 Oh, my gosh.
00:00:14.460 I feel like men are now. 0.97
00:00:16.180 No.
00:00:17.340 You see TikTok?
00:00:18.860 That's all it is.
00:00:19.700 It's emotionally unstable women. 1.00
00:00:22.740 Yeah, my whole men are now.
00:00:23.480 It's like all these girls crying on TikTok.
00:00:25.340 I'm like, what is going on?
00:00:27.280 I haven't seen a guy crying on TikTok.
00:00:28.960 Yeah, because they do it behind closed doors.
00:00:31.580 I feel like men hide their feelings as well.
00:00:34.020 Yeah, men don't really like to show how they're feeling compared to women.
00:00:37.500 But don't you think that's just how men process emotions?
00:00:39.960 Like they process emotions differently than women? 1.00
00:00:42.120 Yeah, they do, but not all men.
00:00:44.180 But in general, right?
00:00:45.800 Because we always make it sound like a bad thing that men don't talk to each other
00:00:49.460 or talk to us about their emotions.
00:00:51.840 But I just think they process emotions differently.
00:00:54.460 Yeah, they do compared to women. 1.00
00:00:57.120 But it's like sometimes we try to make them into women by being like process the emotions 1.00
00:01:00.900 like I process the emotions.
00:01:02.560 True.
00:01:02.900 I think they need to because there is a lot of men that have mental health at the moment.
00:01:07.220 So I think they do need to be able to talk about their feelings.
00:01:10.600 Yeah, but not with women. 0.95
00:01:11.760 Yeah.
00:01:12.480 But why not?
00:01:13.700 Why not?
00:01:14.040 Yeah, why not?
00:01:16.100 Honestly, because women throw stuff in your face later. 1.00
00:01:19.080 I agree.
00:01:19.580 And then what they do is they'll throw something in your face and then they'll add lies to it.
00:01:26.060 So it'll be kind of true, but kind of not true.
00:01:28.280 Yeah, but not all women.
00:01:29.120 Not all women, yeah.
00:01:29.680 I mean, I didn't say 100% of women, but I'm just saying if I had a balance of probabilities 0.97
00:01:33.540 and I had 10 guys and 10 girls, I would say that women are more likely to do that. 1.00
00:01:37.640 Yeah.
00:01:38.020 The other problem is I don't think women find it very attractive when guys are emotionally vulnerable, 0.98
00:01:42.900 to be honest.
00:01:43.660 I mean, I think because when I was growing up, it was said, you know, people were starting
00:01:47.300 to say, oh, you know, just be open with your feelings, be vulnerable, be emotional with
00:01:50.440 her and everything like that. 0.98
00:01:51.360 But actually, the reality out there is that I don't think women really, you know.
00:01:55.400 I feel like it depends.
00:01:56.740 For example, me personally, I would want a guy to open up to me and let me know how they're
00:02:00.320 feeling.
00:02:01.020 What if he's crying every night?
00:02:02.460 No.
00:02:03.020 Not every night.
00:02:04.160 Yeah, that's a bit much.
00:02:05.300 Maybe.
00:02:06.140 That's why it's like confusing to men because we'll be like, be open with us, but not too open.
00:02:10.320 Yeah.
00:02:10.520 So if you want to cry every day, put that, take that shit away.
00:02:16.440 So it's kind of like, at what point with each girl is emotionally available enough, emotionally
00:02:21.960 open enough?
00:02:25.920 I feel like it depends.
00:02:27.660 If I was to be in a relationship with a guy and we've gotten to that level where we're
00:02:31.720 comfortable to open up to each other, then I don't think it would be an issue for him
00:02:35.760 to, if he was to cry to me every night, you know.
00:02:38.480 Maybe there could be something I can do to help him.
00:02:41.200 Me personally, anyways, I don't see that.
00:02:42.860 For how long?
00:02:43.140 He doesn't cry a year?
00:02:45.040 A year is too much.
00:02:46.860 I mean, that would be too much for a man or a woman, though. 0.54
00:02:49.520 And I feel like realistically, a man's not going to cry to you for a year, you know.
00:02:54.140 I feel like that would be too much either way.
00:02:55.900 If it's a man that's crying for a year, that's a problem.
00:02:57.760 If it's a woman that's crying for a year, that's a problem. 1.00
00:02:59.620 I think a month straight, that'd be too much for me.
00:03:01.760 But is it, is it like, but being real, it's not, is it really a, like, to think of a guy
00:03:09.260 in that manner, that's not really a, sexy, is it?
00:03:12.900 No.
00:03:13.460 Do you know what I mean?
00:03:14.160 I feel like there's a time and a place.
00:03:15.280 It depends where you're at.
00:03:16.420 If that's your partner, that's your person.
00:03:18.400 You've been together for a long amount of time.
00:03:20.420 Then his problem is your problem.
00:03:22.200 But I'm not meeting you on day one and you're telling me about your emotional self.
00:03:25.620 I don't want to hear it.
00:03:26.280 And that's happened to me before.
00:03:27.220 And I was put off and I didn't want to speak to him.
00:03:28.980 I'm so sorry.
00:03:30.280 Yeah, yeah.
00:03:30.940 You can't tell me on day one what's going on emotionally because I'm not even telling
00:03:33.620 you and I'm the woman.
00:03:34.540 Yeah.
00:03:35.720 Sorry.
00:03:37.300 Definitely.
00:03:40.860 See, I feel like this is why guys don't want to open up.
00:03:46.720 No, but that's different.
00:03:47.820 When she said on the first day, why would you be so comfortable to open up to someone?
00:03:51.800 But the point is every girl's different.
00:03:53.700 Yeah.
00:03:53.940 Right?
00:03:54.120 So every girl's different with what they'll tolerate. 1.00
00:03:56.380 So why are they going to play, like, roll the dice when they could just not deal with
00:03:59.720 it at all?
00:04:01.000 I think it's, I think, again, the balance of probabilities, if you had 10 men and 10 women
00:04:05.320 lined up.
00:04:05.720 I mean, it seems to me that women, like, they want the guy to be the leader. 0.98
00:04:08.640 They want the guy to be emotionally strong.
00:04:09.940 They want the guy to be the rock, basically.
00:04:11.880 Not the rock as in the rock, but they want the guy to be their rock.
00:04:15.040 And if the dude is, I mean, obviously, he's not going to be crying every night.
00:04:17.720 But, you know, if the dude is, like, emoting the whole time and he's looking to her for
00:04:21.080 support excessively, that's going to, it just seems to me it's going to put her off.
00:04:25.100 Do you know what I mean?
00:04:25.860 And there is a school of thought in the sort of men's online self-help space that basically
00:04:31.400 says, you know, you should not be vulnerable in front of the woman that you're with because
00:04:34.100 she's going to lose attraction for you. 0.94
00:04:35.800 And if she loses attraction for you, then that's the, that's, you know, it's game over 0.59
00:04:39.760 there, basically.
00:04:40.420 Yeah, she's got the ick.
00:04:41.460 Exactly.
00:04:42.340 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:04:43.540 I think that's too extreme, though.
00:04:46.040 Because it's like.
00:04:46.880 Yeah, it may well be, but I'm just saying that there's that school.
00:04:50.180 Everyone is vulnerable, including men.
00:04:52.000 So if you need a bit of a hard time, it's like, I wouldn't like to, oh yeah, don't
00:04:56.320 come to me.
00:04:56.980 Just go and fix your stuff and then come to me.
00:04:59.560 I think, I think, I think some guys though, I've never been married, so I can't speak
00:05:02.720 to this personally, but I think some guys, you know, you feel like you meet this, you
00:05:05.980 meet the woman and you guys are in a relationship.
00:05:07.760 It's all great.
00:05:08.320 And you think, oh, now I can, now finally I can relax.
00:05:10.780 Now I can, now I've got somebody who I can talk to and she can help me with my feelings
00:05:15.240 and blah, blah, blah.
00:05:15.900 But the problem is when you then do that, that can sometimes give the woman the ick, 0.93
00:05:20.800 you know, and the woman's like, oh, wait a minute, this isn't the strong, you know, stable 1.00
00:05:24.080 oak that I signed up for.
00:05:25.480 And then you're, and then you're in trouble.
00:05:27.040 So, but I agree.
00:05:28.660 It's a sliding scale.
00:05:29.480 Not everyone's the same, right?
00:05:30.480 I mean, there's, you know.
00:05:32.680 I think it matters about timing and duration, depending on how long you guys have been together
00:05:36.800 for.
00:05:37.480 Depends on when you need to open up, because my partner opens up to me, but that took a long
00:05:41.360 time.
00:05:41.820 And even when he does, it's limited information.
00:05:44.580 He's not going to cry to me.
00:05:46.100 He's not going to cry to me.
00:05:47.040 Would it be attractive if your partner cried to you all the time?
00:05:51.640 Baby, don't cry to me.
00:05:54.440 See?
00:05:55.320 But he doesn't cry to me, but I always let him know that, you know, I'm supposed to be
00:06:00.160 your safe haven.
00:06:01.160 You know, your partner is supposed to be that safe space.
00:06:03.600 But doesn't mean cry to me from Monday to Friday to Sunday.
00:06:07.680 No, not every day, but, you know, that I'm supposed to be your safe space.
00:06:13.280 So, I'm curious for you, because you said you want a guy to meet your standards.
00:06:19.960 What are your standards?
00:06:22.060 I would say he needs to be tall.
00:06:24.540 I'm 5'6", so 5'10", minimum.
00:06:26.980 Okay.
00:06:28.240 He needs to be earning.
00:06:30.360 Do you know what?
00:06:31.020 I'm not specific about numbers, because I actually don't, like, I'm not on a salary.
00:06:34.520 Like, I work for myself, so, do you know what I mean?
00:06:36.280 I don't get salary.
00:06:36.820 So, I don't really know how people manoeuvre, but he needs to be able to look after me,
00:06:41.440 pay the bills, pay everything, and then also give me money on top.
00:06:45.740 Not that I won't do the same for him, but I'm just saying what he needs to be able to do.
00:06:47.580 Wait, so you want him to pay 100% of the bill and give you, how much money does he have
00:06:51.440 to give you on top?
00:06:52.300 He needs to pay 100% of the bills.
00:06:53.540 He just needs to give me money, like, if I want to buy something.
00:06:55.860 So, how much am I, roughly?
00:06:57.720 For example, I might want to buy a Dior bag this month.
00:07:01.540 If they start from about 2, 3K, then I might need that.
00:07:05.820 But it won't be all the time.
00:07:07.140 It'll be sometimes.
00:07:08.000 Can you just buy it by yourself?
00:07:09.980 I can definitely buy it by myself, but sometimes things feel nicer when it's a gift from your
00:07:14.520 partner.
00:07:14.840 What's the point of having a boyfriend?
00:07:16.160 Yeah.
00:07:16.520 What do you mean?
00:07:16.900 What's the point of having a boyfriend?
00:07:18.360 So it can be a gift.
00:07:19.520 I don't think your boyfriend's supposed to take care of you.
00:07:22.160 Yeah, there's a need to be a bag.
00:07:22.840 You know, he doesn't need to take care of you, but it's nice if he does.
00:07:25.940 I like luxury items, so that's something that I like.
00:07:29.780 If you go to Walthamstow Market, you can get them for $29.
00:07:35.520 But if you're the one who likes the luxury items, why does he have to pay for it?
00:07:38.860 No, I'm not saying I won't buy it myself, but this is the thing.
00:07:41.760 I'm not saying he even has to pay for it.
00:07:43.200 I'm just saying that he needs to make enough whereby there's capacity and there's room
00:07:46.660 where he can afford to give me money for a bag if that's what I want to get at that
00:07:51.300 present moment in time.
00:07:52.300 So I need him to be extremely comfortable.
00:07:53.860 There needs to be spare money everywhere.
00:07:55.920 Even on my part as well, there needs to be spare money where we can spend it.
00:07:59.100 So luxuriously, that's how I would like to live, personally.
00:08:01.940 And what does he get in return?
00:08:04.380 He gets a loyal, loving woman who will eventually have his kids take care of the house. 0.98
00:08:10.540 You know, will also look after him.
00:08:12.240 If he likes gifts, he can get a gift as well because there's money there.
00:08:17.180 Okay.
00:08:18.280 Okay.
00:08:19.920 So how much money do you think that would cost?
00:08:21.840 I have two and three grand on the go.
00:08:23.900 Because that's what some people make in a month.
00:08:25.440 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:08:26.620 That is true.
00:08:27.520 I mean, based on people around me, definitely 100, 100K plus salary for sure.
00:08:33.760 What percent of men do you think make that? 1.00
00:08:35.840 Oh, I know it's a low percentage.
00:08:37.820 100%.
00:08:38.180 I know it's not that high, but personally, the people I'm around make that amount of money.
00:08:42.800 So I feel like it's accessible to me.
00:08:44.360 And that's why I have that standard.
00:08:45.980 Okay.
00:08:46.200 I think it's like 5% of men.
00:08:49.800 Yeah, it's very low.
00:08:50.920 So then do you think you're in the top 5% of women? 1.00
00:08:53.580 That make that amount?
00:08:54.520 No, no.
00:08:55.040 Just in terms of like what men look for.
00:08:57.160 Oh, I believe so.
00:08:58.000 Yes.
00:08:59.060 So like youth, purity, femininity. 0.83
00:09:01.860 I mean, I don't know.
00:09:02.980 I mean, men like me, but I don't know if I'm in the top 5%.
00:09:05.720 I would say I am.
00:09:06.680 I'm a very confident woman, but I don't know.
00:09:08.720 As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok, and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
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