JustPearlyThings - July 13, 2023


This Is The Source Of Feminists Delusion


Episode Stats

Length

8 minutes

Words per Minute

213.28049

Word Count

1,758

Sentence Count

132

Misogynist Sentences

10

Hate Speech Sentences

4


Summary

In this episode, we talk about cheating, open relationships, and the Catholic Church's position on the matter. We also talk about what it means to leave a marriage that is abusive and why it's a no go.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 giving them a life full of love.
00:00:01.480 And if I can do that, I've been quite, quite successful.
00:00:04.060 In fact, I'd say more successful than most Christians.
00:00:06.560 So my understanding of love is that it is totally wanting the best for the other person
00:00:13.800 and that it's committed and that it's sacrificial and that it's exclusive.
00:00:17.680 It's faithful.
00:00:18.820 And fidelity, I think, is a really important part of love.
00:00:20.960 And if you don't have fidelity in love, then you don't have the security and the opportunity for full love.
00:00:24.660 But do you know what's interesting?
00:00:25.620 I just want to see something.
00:00:26.860 What's her name?
00:00:27.940 Lila.
00:00:28.260 I was like, I don't see your husband anywhere on here.
00:00:32.440 But it's interesting because, so I see like one picture of her and her husband.
00:00:38.920 And like the rest is her talking.
00:00:43.540 Her on, you know, and I'm not even saying, I really, I don't want this to come across like as shaming her.
00:00:49.580 Because I actually, I don't think her Instagram is bad at all.
00:00:51.900 But, but it's interesting how we shame, like, okay.
00:00:54.920 If you think sex and attention, sex is to men what attention is to women.
00:01:01.300 In a way, we have wives and mothers with open Instagram accounts.
00:01:05.680 And, you know, she has an open Instagram account, right?
00:01:07.880 And she's got like pictures of her by herself on there.
00:01:11.100 It's like a picture of her smiling.
00:01:12.760 So in a way, aren't you sort of accepting attention from other men when Instagram is the number one way of like people dating nowadays?
00:01:21.440 Not, not to say she's like doing anything about it.
00:01:23.880 But it's just interesting, like the hypocrisy when it's like, I think an open Instagram account is equally as bad as a guy cheating.
00:01:32.220 Like, I think it's the same.
00:01:33.520 Maybe not the same.
00:01:36.120 But, but you kind of see where I'm going with it.
00:01:39.140 It's like a bit, it's a bit hypocritical.
00:01:41.660 Can I throw a hypothetical at you?
00:01:43.200 Yeah, please do.
00:01:43.840 If, and this is a hypothetical, please, so please don't get offended.
00:01:47.480 But if your husband were to do something that was not okay with you whatsoever to the point where you did not any longer want to be with him,
00:01:56.220 whether that's cheating or something else, that's just a no for you.
00:02:00.480 Would you leave them?
00:02:01.200 She would stay.
00:02:01.780 Would you leave them to just please your, your, your children and to keep your family together?
00:02:06.960 Is that, like, some, you're willing to risk your own happiness and well-being or even safety if it was something that was that extreme?
00:02:14.820 Are you talking about abuse?
00:02:16.520 I'm, I'm using a hypothetical.
00:02:18.480 Okay.
00:02:18.660 Whatever it is that would be like a straight, like, I need to leave this person.
00:02:22.340 Would you stay with them just for the convenience and also the toxicity that it could bring into your household, inflicting your, your children, you know?
00:02:31.080 So my position is if, and it's the position of the Catholic Church as well, which is that if you're in a situation in a marriage that's abusive, right?
00:02:38.460 It's causing harm to you or your children, then you definitely should create separation.
00:02:42.500 You should leave.
00:02:43.140 You can actually get a legal divorce if you need to separate your assets.
00:02:46.620 But the position of the church and.
00:02:49.020 That's based.
00:02:49.820 That part's based.
00:02:50.860 The belief is that marriage is forever until death was part, until death was part.
00:02:54.900 So you can marry someone and they become a screwball.
00:02:58.140 You know, they totally mess up.
00:02:59.300 They, they do bad things and you should separate yourself from them, um, for your protection or your kid's protection.
00:03:05.440 Uh, but you then don't go on and just remarry and try to live another life.
00:03:09.500 Um, now there's something in the case, if you were lied to, so there's something called annulment, which some people say, oh, that's Catholic divorce.
00:03:16.160 It's actually not.
00:03:17.180 Annulment is when the marriage, it's as if the marriage never happened because people were lying typically when they go into the marriage.
00:03:22.780 So like typically abusers don't just start abusing after marriage.
00:03:25.680 They're abusing.
00:03:26.720 It's not just us.
00:03:27.920 Yeah.
00:03:28.080 Or they're lying.
00:03:29.360 So if they're lying to you in a serious way and you go into a marriage, you weren't free, able to freely choose that marriage.
00:03:35.560 And so afterwards you can request an annulment from the church and be like, hey, I don't think I was even married because I didn't freely choose this.
00:03:41.460 I didn't know this guy was a liar and, you know, addicted to pornography and abuse and all these things.
00:03:45.820 And so in that case you could nullify the marriage and then be free to be free to actually get married.
00:03:51.140 I want to say something just to be completely fair to you.
00:03:53.340 I think what you have in your marriage is absolutely beautiful.
00:03:56.580 No problem with that at all.
00:03:57.600 I think that if you two are happy and like living together in the Lord and like you see a future that even it goes past this life to heaven.
00:04:05.040 And I think that's a beautiful, beautiful thing.
00:04:06.760 No issue at all.
00:04:07.900 Well, you should be commended for doing it, you know, properly.
00:04:11.000 Well, but I not properly in regards to your religion.
00:04:13.300 I don't mean to cut you off, but properly in regards to like what you are setting out to do with him.
00:04:17.620 I think that's a beautiful thing.
00:04:18.780 Well, we're definitely imperfect people figuring it out, right?
00:04:21.400 And that's what part of marriages is becoming better together, you know, in that total commitment to each other.
00:04:26.540 But the thing is, like, I'm passionate about not just wanting it for myself, right?
00:04:29.980 Like, I'm very grateful to be married.
00:04:31.820 It has rooted my life.
00:04:32.800 It has anchored my life.
00:04:33.500 It has changed my life.
00:04:34.660 But I don't want to just keep that to myself and be like, oh, this is just my personal thing over here.
00:04:38.300 I want other people to have the opportunity for that.
00:04:41.460 What do you think it takes for women to get in a position to find a husband that will commit to them fully and give their life to them?
00:04:47.320 What do you think that takes?
00:04:48.100 Well, I think the first step is working on yourself and your own development as a woman, becoming the best that you can be,
00:04:55.120 and then having good standards for the man that you're going to be with, like to be perfectly...
00:04:58.920 Wait, wow.
00:05:01.440 She literally said...
00:05:03.340 Wow.
00:05:05.340 What a woman needs to do to get a good husband is have good standards for the man.
00:05:10.940 She didn't even say anything about herself.
00:05:12.800 Wow.
00:05:13.940 Wait, maybe she'll go into it.
00:05:15.600 Maybe, let's give her, let's give her the benefit of the doubt.
00:05:19.420 I would not ever date a guy who I thought would be unfaithful to me.
00:05:23.300 Not even date him.
00:05:24.420 Never.
00:05:25.040 If I found out my person I was dating is sleeping with other women or sleeping with anyone, honestly, because I don't, I didn't have, we didn't have sex before marriage.
00:05:31.620 I'd be like, no.
00:05:32.360 Was she a virgin?
00:05:33.840 I don't know if she's a virgin.
00:05:35.280 I'm not interested in that.
00:05:36.180 But I asked you what you think a woman needs to do.
00:05:39.040 Yeah.
00:05:39.580 Yeah.
00:05:39.880 You see how, it's like the feminist programming.
00:05:42.500 It's like, what we need to do is have high standards.
00:05:46.140 But it's like, if you're a used Honda Civic and you demand Ferrari prices, you're just going to have no buyers.
00:05:51.740 So I would, I would say high standards is not the problem in the dating market today.
00:05:58.020 And it's, it's funny because the married people will shit on me for being single.
00:06:02.740 Like, they'll just be like, oh, she's single.
00:06:04.540 She doesn't know what she's talking about.
00:06:05.760 But sometimes I hear the married people talk and I'm like, I don't think you guys know what you're talking about because the market is different than 10 years ago.
00:06:12.760 It is absolutely different.
00:06:14.500 I think the woman needs to become the best she can be.
00:06:17.200 She needs to grow psychologically, be healthy.
00:06:19.280 If she needs to heal from trauma from her childhood, a lot of us have baggage.
00:06:22.280 I had baggage.
00:06:23.300 Go get the therapy that you need.
00:06:24.760 But see, all of the things she's listing is what the woman can do to be better for herself.
00:06:28.420 I haven't heard anything that she could do to be better for her husband.
00:06:31.580 Maybe I will.
00:06:32.180 I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt.
00:06:33.460 Really understand.
00:06:34.380 Do you not, do you not believe that that therapy is in the church and Christianity?
00:06:38.900 Do I not believe what?
00:06:39.660 Do you not believe it's everything that you need is at church?
00:06:41.900 You can't just find that in the word?
00:06:43.780 Well, the beauty of, so the beauty of Catholicism is it's very much focused on the whole person, right?
00:06:48.420 So it's not like we're just spiritual beings, right?
00:06:50.380 We're also bodies with desires, with traumas, with experiences.
00:06:55.260 And so the psychological world and psychological health is an important part of bodily health.
00:07:00.180 And it connects to your spiritual health.
00:07:02.040 So therapy is great.
00:07:03.800 Obviously, we totally promote therapy for those that need it.
00:07:06.920 Mental health is really important.
00:07:08.520 So just because you're doing the right thing spiritually doesn't mean you're necessarily mentally healthy.
00:07:12.000 You may need to get mental health support too.
00:07:14.160 I think this is actually something a lot of...
00:07:15.360 I still haven't heard anything that we...
00:07:17.600 And if she wanted to argue from the Christianity standpoint, she's conflicting a lot of things and she's just going off point.
00:07:26.380 The reality is, Justin was right.
00:07:28.340 He said, shouldn't you get all that from the church?
00:07:32.140 If you're a true Christian, all your therapy would come from the church.
00:07:37.100 Because the reality is, a lot of mental illness and all these things actually come from sin.
00:07:43.200 If you're looking at it from the Christian point of view.
00:07:45.980 The reason why you would run into problems is when you stray away from God and when you stray away from His grace.
00:07:53.220 That's when you start running into all these mental issues.
00:07:56.000 You start abusing alcohol, doing all this crap.
00:07:59.660 But if you're in the Spirit, if you're connected to God, how can you be mentally ill?
00:08:07.680 How?
00:08:09.240 That's true.
00:08:09.820 Because when you see the people that are the most mentally ill, you see the choices they make in their lives.
00:08:14.140 Yeah.
00:08:14.540 Yeah.