This Modern Woman Believes This Is Possible
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
210.2291
Summary
In this episode, we discuss the concept of Happy Wife Happy Life and why it is a recipe for disaster. Do you believe in it? Do you think it s a good idea to have a happy wife and a happy family?
Transcript
00:00:00.000
do you guys believe in happy wife happy life why or why not yes the wife basically is in charge of
00:00:09.140
the household not the household but the house in itself so if the wife is in a bad mood or it's
00:00:15.600
not doing okay the kids are not going to do okay like for example with me when my mom was you know
00:00:20.060
going through things or upset she wasn't able to nurture us the way she could and sometimes that
00:00:24.580
would affect us not in a big way so imagine if you know a woman is not happy in a relationship
00:00:29.240
she's not able to do her wifely duties properly so therefore the woman's life the kid's life and the
00:00:34.740
man's life um is not going to be able to like you know the way i see i feel like the wife is the sun
00:00:40.320
and everything orbits around it and she's what keeps things moving so if that's not working out
00:00:45.720
nothing else is going to work out i think both to be fair i think it's not fair to say like happy wife
00:00:52.920
happy life i feel like we should make a man happy as well because they they can like he he's the
00:00:59.220
one that's providing he's the one that's taking care of the household he's the one that's making
00:01:02.260
you feel safe he he he we wouldn't do stuff as well we put stuff on the table but i'm speaking
00:01:05.860
about him now i feel like happy husband happy life and happy wife happy life both of them
00:01:11.620
what do you think i feel like happiness is just a feeling and you know like for i don't know what's
00:01:16.780
that for a woman but for a man when we wake up sometimes i'm not happy but i have to keep it
00:01:20.040
moving because i've got i've got stuff to do whereas in the past i've been a partner as soon as
00:01:24.340
something goes wrong and she's not happy it all breaks down and you have to come up with a solution
00:01:27.880
so in that sense there's so many more like different things for like uh like a female to be
00:01:35.840
unhappy about i mean i don't really have that choice i don't have that that um pleasure to
00:01:40.240
have that feeling if you know what i mean but at the same time i haven't been married so i don't know
00:01:43.820
from other people that have told me that they say that what do you think um i would agree i think
00:01:49.560
it's about 60 50 about 60 to the woman 50 i'm sorry 60 40 i'm a bit tired um 40 to the the man
00:01:58.900
because i would say because obviously biologically women are just a lot more emotional naturally so
00:02:05.060
i feel like the repercussions of her unhappiness will affect a lot more than the repercussions of
00:02:09.860
a man's unhappiness as in he could probably hold it together a bit uh more than a woman um it's not
00:02:15.060
going to impact as much and to echo what you said about the kids and the household it's going to
00:02:19.160
affect all of that and that's now your environment so i feel like that's where it comes in but i
00:02:23.580
don't agree with like i'm not so rigid and thinking like happy wife happy life and forget
00:02:28.720
your husband because i just truly believe you do need to make your husband happy 100 what do you
00:02:33.380
think oh me yeah do you think happy wife happy life is good advice no i think i think the husband
00:02:41.960
needs to be happy obviously both both needs to be happy but more time the husband because he's the
00:02:46.260
one that's making the money he's going out and he's if if your man is stressed do you think that
00:02:52.100
he's going to come home and he's going to he's going to treat you right and he's going to be he's
00:02:55.160
not he has to be happy as well um yeah i think it's both sides i think that happy wife happy life is a
00:03:01.360
recipe for disaster why yeah i think it's i think it's telling the man that you have to try to make a
00:03:08.800
woman happy and as women i think we're never happy i think that if you give a woman everything you that
00:03:15.740
she wants she'll still find something she'll still find something to not be happy about
00:03:20.260
i feel like the saying for me the way i look at it i feel like men go through a lot they literally have
00:03:26.880
to go outside and battle to understand and the way i look at it i think the only thing that can really
00:03:31.640
make a man happy is his woman that's the own that's his safe space that's his peace so when people say
00:03:37.500
like happy wife like when your wife is happy that man now becomes happy like for example you like
00:03:42.660
when you're you're do you have a girl or whatever sorry just yeah yeah sorry about that like when
00:03:48.020
she's calm and when she's happy doesn't that bring you happiness and peace too like compared to all the
00:03:52.380
stresses of working out or do you have like other outlets and i'm talking like she brings you that i need
00:03:57.580
to i need to add one thing i think that's narcissism i think women were naturally narcissistic
00:04:02.760
and we take credit for everything and i think that he's either a happy man on a purpose or he's
00:04:09.240
not and i think women have very little to do with it i think women play a big role in men's happiness
00:04:15.860
i think women are delusional and narcissistic um just like by our nature um and yeah i think we think
00:04:23.440
that we deserve more credit than we do oh my god i feel like women definitely make men let's just start
00:04:29.980
with the fact that where else would men get their orgasms from women yeah but that's a moment of
00:04:36.940
happiness i guess and that fades very quickly men typically get happiness from doing things
00:04:42.160
it really doesn't have anything to do with women what about peace though i'm thinking of peace when i
00:04:48.520
say happy life i'm thinking the problem with your argument is you're saying the woman needs to be happy
00:04:53.080
to make the man happy but the problem with that is usually women think that their happiness should come
00:04:58.520
from the man so the man needs to make her happy to then let her make him happy that doesn't make sense
00:05:02.760
so which one comes first then everyone should be responsible for their happiness yeah yeah yeah yeah
00:05:09.180
yeah that's right yeah i think it's a recipe for disaster because you're basically telling men
00:05:14.100
that you're only going to have a happy life if she's happy and i think it goes back to like
00:05:20.200
the like a lot of times marriage like men view marriage as a horrible contract and i think that's part of
00:05:26.600
it because they're they're selling that in order for you to be happy she has to be happy and women
00:05:31.220
are never happy i always felt like the saying was just like uh just take care of your wife i never
00:05:37.020
really made i mean it meant like you have to be responsible for that i never knew people really
00:05:40.760
took it literally and that's why i was just like you know keep your wife happy because i thought it was
00:05:45.160
just make sure you're taking care of your wife but i didn't know it actually meant you're responsible
00:05:49.720
for her happiness and i don't believe in that i don't think you should be responsible for anyone's
00:05:52.920
helping i don't think it's like intentional but i think there's like a lot of words in our society
00:05:56.840
where we like subtly give like women credit for everything and like blame men for everything it's
00:06:01.880
very subtle i'll give you an example of another one not to do with the marriage but like knocked up
00:06:06.760
assumes that he knocked her up yeah whose fault is it his he got her pregnant like there's a lot of
00:06:13.160
really subtle things and i think that's like just one of them no that's that's actually true i still feel like
00:06:19.800
in a relationship everyone should be you should practice interdependence meaning you're able to be
00:06:25.240
independent by yourself and provide for yourself in terms of happiness but when you are in a
00:06:29.960
relationship i think your partner should wake up with the need and want to actually contribute not
00:06:37.400
make you happy and be the source of your happiness but contribute to your happiness so in that aspect
00:06:42.520
aspect i do believe that men should contribute this and it's vice versa as well i i also think sometimes
00:06:48.200
happiness is just an illusion like put your microphone we're supposed to i think sometimes
00:06:53.000
happiness is an illusion because we're supposed to be up and down up and down if we're waiting
00:06:57.320
until we're happy we're never we're never because there's always something there's always something
00:07:01.640
that we're going to stress about yeah there's always a loss of a family there's always a career
00:07:05.800
that i there's always something so happiness is an illusion like you can be content wait so one thing
00:07:11.800
you know i just realized oh my gosh women we have easier lives than ever before we have more freedom
00:07:19.240
than ever before we have more automation than ever before yet we're more miserable than ever before
00:07:26.120
and we're more miserable because men tried to make us happy by giving us everything and now we're unhappy
00:07:33.240
with all of this choice and freedom we just spoil yes yes it's like we're like too many options yeah i
00:07:40.040
think we're like children actually yeah and it's kind of like if you give a kid everything yeah a
00:07:46.440
miserable child very true yeah yeah i think it's the same so one thing that you actually taught me
00:07:52.440
is um you know exactly what you just said that we're not always going to be happy in life learn to
00:07:58.600
deal with the unhappiness learn to deal with the stress when you're at work do you know what she
00:08:03.240
says to me she was like you're at work and you're angry just start smiling just endure the anger yeah
00:08:10.280
and there's studies that say like that you naturally like get happier if you're smiling all the time
00:08:15.000
yeah she was like just just learn to deal with it that's part of life you experience different emotions
00:08:20.360
you don't always need to be happy sometimes you're sad and i think sometimes if the guy is like feeding
00:08:24.680
into it every time like it's kind of like with kids if they're having a temper tantrum and you
00:08:30.200
feed into it it's like it gets bigger and bigger yeah yeah yeah wherever you just just shut it down
00:08:34.360
i'm a big fan of ignoring problems yeah i think sometimes when you ignore problems you forget and
00:08:39.800
they go away i don't think we got to talk about every problem or issue also just being a bit cheeky
00:08:45.000
with it i think as a man a lot of men need to learn to just be like it's okay baby i mean just shake
00:08:50.680
it off and then and then you as a woman be like all right cool i'm overreacting right instead of
00:08:54.440
being like oh no are you okay yeah don't do that and that's what i think that phrase like encourages
00:08:58.760
men to try to make her happy when again i don't think men can make women happier they're happier
00:09:04.520
you're not yeah it's a choice isn't it happiness is a choice that you make and like life is literally
00:09:09.960
just a never-ending story of problem solving i think will smith said something one time he said
00:09:16.600
you both have to be complete before you come together both be happy within your within yourself
00:09:22.120
you're never going to be complete or happy that's the whole point no no no but like
00:09:27.000
my point is have you seen we've seen will smith's marriage oh yes no but i've taken the positives
00:09:33.080
from it don't like here's the thing yeah don't try to seek happiness of your partner because then
00:09:39.960
you're going to be stuck aren't you you're going to be forever searching be happy within yourself and
00:09:44.280
then come together as one could we react to um the girl's reaction i know we started watching it
00:09:49.960
earlier but um yeah i told you guys i told you i was like i should tell people to wear like i don't
00:10:02.280
know just shorts or something no i'm just too sorry that was sorry i don't know if you can say that word
00:10:08.760
sorry next time next time i'm just gonna come and like you know what african moms wear
00:10:16.440
you got you got no excuse you've been here before i don't know who told me to wear this