This Modern Woman Could NOT Answer This QUESTION
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
199.13873
Summary
In this episode, we are joined by a very special guest who has been dealing with anorexia for a very long time. She shares her story of how she found a healing man and how she was able to go on a date with him.
Transcript
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um okay so could you respect a man that you make more than yes the answer is yes however i want to
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see him being ambitious he has to have a plan he has to be someone that gets up no no no that's
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not that's not the guy you're dating no no that's like that's like the women trying to change men
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no he's he's making let's say what's whatever the average salary is here 35 000 pounds a year
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he will always he will always be making 35 000 a year okay this isn't build a man but what kind
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of person is he the kind of guy that wakes up and plays video games and just he goes he's the kind
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he goes to work okay and makes 35 000 a year and then comes home sometimes he plays video games
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sometimes he doesn't the same way you know it's like they we can complain about the video games
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but how many girls are on social media for hours we're just as bad no you know what you're right
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i think i could because i've been in that situation and i've been very happy with
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that okay why aren't you with him he's in australia oh oh so this was recent yeah
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okay i don't know what he makes it's none of my business but i know he's not like the richest guy
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in the world but he's lovely and he actually made me feel safe in every way so how do you know that
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you earn more than him i don't but if i did i'd be okay with it because he was that wonderful
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finish your healing man well uh that was the plan not for him though but i would like to see him
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again 100 oh do you think you're healed enough though um wait i'm confused so when was the okay
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so wasn't the the old guy eight months ago yeah that was in june okay and then when did the the
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australia guy come in literally this month oh oh and he left to australia no i was in australia
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she went away to australia for six weeks see this is why when men it's like everything the guys say
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so this is why when guys say like you're healing they just think you're i mean they don't have
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yeah you're just sleeping with other dudes um no because it wasn't quite like that it took me a
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long time to even go on a date with someone like it wasn't until i went to australia i even considered
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that i was just completely right but you told me you were healing earlier in australia yeah and now
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you're telling me you met the guy in australia it's no it's no hate to you i'm just no it's fine i'm
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just observing he's a healer that if i'm honest because i said that to him because he was going
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through his own thing which i won't discuss on here that's his business and i was going through
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mine and i said to him for whatever reason i walked into your life and you walked into mine
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because it was an accident you know i was walking down the street oh you met him on the street what
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happened was i just come back from the gym i was in a bad mood i smell i was covered in sweat i was
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spotty i was like you know on my period so i was like bloated and i did not look appealing at all
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and this stunning man walks towards me and when i fancy someone i get shy
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and i just look down and he starts talking to me and i'm just like in my head i'm like why today
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why today and then he's like you should smile you know it looks good on you and then we were just
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talking and um i felt really good around this person he made me feel safe there's something about
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his energy that just made me feel really good so you were able to trust him it was more
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i know that sounds wild because even i look back and i think how did i do that
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to an extent yeah because i said to him what are you doing later let's go out
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it was me that initiated it and then when he went in to kiss me he said he asked my permission
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this is after the date he said can i kiss you you know he was asking my permission he was respectful
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of my boundaries he was you know but you know how you said that you were going through your stuff
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and he was going through his stuff you said that about your ex the one who was obviously dealing
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with anorexia you said um he his traumas and your traumas like were able to go together and now
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you're saying basically the same thing this guy yeah yeah you've it's because i'm aware i'm not a
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perfect person but don't you think that you said you're you're healing right yeah if you're healing
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and then you're now meeting this guy and you're acknowledging the fact that you're going through
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your ish he's going through his ish and we've meshed together you're acknowledging the fact that
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you're entering the same pattern again yeah just because the guy is you know but it's always when
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you're not looking for someone they just pop up and then you click i can't explain it but they're
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not denying what you're saying though yeah right but don't don't you think you should just not that
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you should but i guess what i'm saying is if you want to heal to have a fruitful relationship
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that's not going to be toxic that's not going to have any of the repeated patterns
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just have that discipline in yourself and be like actually you know i do really like you as a
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person but let me get to a place where i know that i'm strong with in who i am i'm not dealing
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with the same whatever from the last person and bringing that into the new person because
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all that's going to happen is yeah you're going to be in the same predicament yeah it's just going
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to be a different story i wouldn't say it's a personal thing on me i'm definitely strong in who i am
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but you're right i'm definitely not over what happened and i'm i appreciate what you said thank you
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i just think they need professional healing self-healing is not healing but how do how i have
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it sounds like you run away to australia but you can't run away from yourself
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yeah you know what that's right that's true because i caught myself crying in a new city
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about the same shit sorry ish have you been to therapy yeah is it a is it a male or a female
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therapist it's a male oh wow yeah no luck he's amazing no honestly i'm just happy he would
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know he's he's so he's so sad about it i'm still yeah but how do you turn that off like
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you need acceptance first you need to accept that it's happening you need to accept how you're feeling
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i have accepted it it's just because i'm speaking about it on a public platform do you still like look
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up his social media stuff i tell you from the day that i broke up with him i've never stalked him
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i'm too proud i would never do that are you still having counseling i don't want to answer that okay
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but you're right there is more work to be done i'm aware of that it's just because for me to come on
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a public platform and speak about it it's like quite raw for me still do you know what it is sometimes
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when you're not ready yourself the universe just keeps giving you the same person in different forms
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that's so true you're attracting the same kind to yourself so you need to be alone and happy within
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yourself and then something that you obviously think is for you and good for you will come but
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you're not ready so that's why the world isn't bringing you someone i don't think right now your
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subconscious is just is saying actually i need to be back in something i need to have that no because
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i wasn't even looking for that i do i love being single and i really love it i said her subconscious
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no because i wasn't looking for him i was walking down the street minding my own business
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to go meet you at the bar because i enjoyed his company i'm in australia you're just contradicting
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yourself like how did you know his company by him just saying hi though do you know what i mean
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because i felt good in his presence and i'm in a new city and across in the night you know that that
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feeling that you felt that safe feeling yeah did you have that with this the last person who was your
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friend and you just had that feeling and you was like oh i like this yeah yeah so you haven't actually
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gotten over that yeah no you're right that that same feeling that same kick that you got from the
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last one you're still getting from this you know it sounds like you're addicted to that feeling yeah
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you know what you're probably right can i ask you can choose not to answer yeah yeah quite personal but
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before both of these have you suffered with stuff within yourself and then you're kind of using these
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yeah to patch that up yeah okay probably most likely but that's the first step is acknowledgement yeah
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okay where were we in the room with the money question okay go ahead if my man was making um
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less than me um yeah yeah significantly less now i was earning more he would still be my man probably it
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doesn't really matter to me i love the person for the person if it stopped me from doing things and
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living the life that i wanted to live then i'm not with the right person if i love someone i love them
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for them i'm not really materialistic about stuff like that is there a minimum what figure yeah i mean
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because let's be honest let's be honest if he's unemployed for two years you're out yeah probably and i hope you
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would be yeah if he's unemployed for two years i'm out so so there has to be like a minimum what would
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you roughly say it is i couldn't i don't know what people earn and not shift work i couldn't tell you
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how much you'd like him to bring him a movie for a month not shift work like what would you like him
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to bring him a month yeah in a month two grand three grand four grand remember you you listen if he says
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quit whatever whatever the amount that sustains us to like be happy but i don't need like big flashy
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things to be happy you'd be happy to live in the caravan
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i guess what about what about the box on the corner over here there's someone there's there's
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like a couple people in these boxes over there but you're down there in it yeah yeah
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like literally there's a homeless shelter down the road they got this box out in the roads i've seen
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i don't think i could but money doesn't determine like the person for me if that makes sense
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i don't know if that answers your question no it doesn't no there's no minimum like come on no
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minimum i don't know if things like that i don't know what people earn for you what like to take it
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to have all your necessities met do you live on your own yeah i live on my own okay so you know
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what it takes to sustain yeah do you want him to be a provider basically because if you do you know
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you have to know your minimum surely surely unless you don't mind providing for yourself then it
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doesn't matter at all yeah can we not come together was that not an option i thought you just said he's
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earning less than me yeah so i i'm i'm saying at what point do you respect his decision making
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so like if he said quit your job tomorrow i have a plan i'll listen but if he's a bum and hasn't
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worked in two years why the hell would you do that yeah i would definitely not listen so so there's a
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minimum point right yeah there's a minimum point where and it doesn't have to be exact you know just
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just a rough figure where you would listen to what he says
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i wanted to see i couldn't tell you i couldn't tell you i forgot okay what about
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30 30 000 pounds would you listen is that the minimum people earn in the uk just go off like
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what it takes to sustain yourself and then could you live on a thousand pound a month if he's bringing
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in like between three and four thousand three and four thousand i think yeah that's fine a year no a month
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oh yeah that's nice that's fine it's more than nice or something i like it yeah okay um what about you would
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you as many of you know i was just banned on tick tock and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this
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