JustPearlyThings - This Modern Woman Said This About Women

00:00:00.000 All right, back to cheating.

00:00:01.760 Have you ever cheated on this model?

00:00:03.880 I haven't cheated, but I've been cheated.

00:00:06.340 You've been cheated on.

00:00:07.960 You've been cheated on.

00:00:08.800 Yeah, and my brother knew,

00:00:10.340 and the girl has the same name as me,

00:00:12.700 so she was called Barbara.

00:00:14.580 And my brother knew, he was there,

00:00:15.960 and he didn't tell me.

00:00:17.000 And there's one-

00:00:17.840 What?

00:00:18.680 Yeah, that's one different thing.

00:00:19.520 No, I think he paid your brother.

00:00:20.480 Yeah, but the thing is, he showed also-

00:00:22.640 His brother was like, he's a good guy, it's all right.

00:00:25.480 But also, I think guys had more like this brotherhood.

00:00:28.560 No, no, it's your brother, that's his sister.

00:00:31.860 He should have told me, yes.

00:00:33.780 If someone was cheating on my sister, I'll go mental.

00:00:36.400 But men, I think they watch more their backs on each other.

00:00:40.740 I just need to reiterate the rules.

00:00:42.480 I know we get carried away in conversation,

00:00:44.140 but please, if someone is speaking,

00:00:45.600 can we all just let them speak?

00:00:47.080 Thank you.

00:00:48.160 Yeah, so I think men has more like this brotherhood,

00:00:50.460 and it just not reflect just on this,

00:00:52.700 but I think like girls should watch more their back

00:00:55.180 on each other, and then girls, they compete a lot,

00:00:57.980 and things like this.

00:00:59.120 And I see men like having like a true brotherhood, you know?

00:01:02.920 So I think that's also part of like,

00:01:05.600 feminism, I'm a model.

00:01:06.740 I get criticized by other girls,

00:01:08.920 because I wear makeup, because this, because that.

00:01:11.540 You know, and first of all,

00:01:12.620 feminism is about like giving freedom.

00:01:14.160 If the girl wants to do, okay.

00:01:16.200 You know, so I think nowadays,

00:01:18.200 they're fighting against oppression,

00:01:19.920 and they were oppressing.

00:01:21.220 Yeah, I do agree with that.

00:01:22.220 You know, it happens a lot.

00:01:23.600 Yeah.

00:01:24.100 So also we as women has to stand up,

00:01:26.840 and you know, many feminists,

00:01:28.020 like if they go to a lot of extremes,

00:01:29.760 they're just being puppets of a system.

00:01:32.460 Who is profiting behind of that?

00:01:35.020 Who is leading that?

00:01:35.940 Who is feeding that?

00:01:36.900 Who started this?

00:01:38.740 You know?

00:01:39.580 So I, I think this is going like way too far.

00:01:43.000 I'd say that it'd get us kicked off, you too.

00:01:46.580 So anyways, so I, I haven't cheated,

00:01:51.260 but one thing is that when I felt attracted by someone else,

00:01:55.500 I realized that there was something wrong

00:01:56.720 with my relationship.

00:01:58.300 And, and then I took as an alert,

00:02:01.020 and then I, yes.

00:02:02.580 How'd you catch him cheating?

00:02:05.260 First, like people talk, it was a small, a small town.

00:02:08.000 So someone said something to you?

00:02:09.520 Yeah, it was a small town.

00:02:10.780 What'd they say to you?

00:02:13.280 First people in the party, they saw it,

00:02:15.640 and they just said like, okay, he kissed this girl.

00:02:18.200 Where was you?

00:02:19.200 Huh?

00:02:20.040 Sorry to interrupt, but if you saw,

00:02:21.940 if someone saw it in a party, and you were-

00:02:23.900 It was like a prom in Brazil,

00:02:25.660 so they were invited like for another male friends of them,

00:02:28.480 because my brother was all in the same group,

00:02:30.240 and I wasn't invited, yeah.

00:02:32.180 Oh, he didn't invite you?

00:02:33.420 No, cause actually it's selected,

00:02:34.900 so you can't bring like a plus one,

00:02:37.380 or something like this.

00:02:38.380 I'll kick off.

00:02:39.220 I'll kick off.

00:02:40.060 Okay, so you found, they told you,

00:02:43.220 and then you confronted him, did you stay after?

00:02:46.200 No, no, he started to say like, no, that's not true,

00:02:49.320 and I was like, and I'm very realistic.

00:02:50.880 If someone cheated on me,

00:02:52.020 I don't even feel angry or anything,

00:02:53.940 because it reflects why you're gonna suffer, go crazy,

00:02:56.800 or try revenge for someone who doesn't want you.

00:02:59.520 That's very, you know what?

00:03:00.960 So I don't even waste my energy.

00:03:02.440 You know, I'll be, if someone cheated on me,

00:03:04.100 and I find out, of course you're gonna be sad,

00:03:06.700 but I'm gonna be the first one to say like, go leave.

00:03:09.020 You never slept with him again after that?

00:03:11.040 With who?

00:03:11.860 The boyfriend.

00:03:13.120 Ah, this one.

00:03:14.040 No, no, no, and I was very young at the time.

00:03:16.220 Did you ever speak to him again?

00:03:18.320 Yeah, yeah.

00:03:19.160 Okay, still friends?

00:03:20.440 Not friends, but we are from a small town,

00:03:23.240 we have friends in common, you know, just be polite.

00:03:26.240 And you've never cheated?

00:03:27.600 No.

00:03:28.440 Now, you said you're a model, right?

00:03:30.320 Yeah.

00:03:31.160 Is cheating common amongst models?

00:03:33.620 Because I'd imagine you're among probably like,

00:03:35.680 the most beautiful women, like top 10, 20% of beauty, right?

00:03:39.560 Like, right, right?

00:03:41.060 So, how common, I'm just curious,

00:03:43.120 how common is it for models to cheat?

00:03:45.360 I think people in the industry and media, in general.

00:03:48.520 No, just models.

00:03:51.440 What's the reputation of models?

00:03:53.140 I'm just curious.

00:03:53.980 Stupid.

00:03:54.820 There's a few.

00:03:55.760 Yeah, it can be bad.

00:03:57.380 And also like, if you see on the media,

00:03:58.920 if you see any girl, a skort or something,

00:04:01.840 they won't say like, she's a skort or something else.

00:04:05.140 They say, oh, a model.

00:04:06.600 Image girl.

00:04:07.440 No, they say a model.

00:04:08.400 No, they say image.

00:04:09.240 Anyone, like this case, like with Neymar now,

00:04:11.440 with the football, it was a model.

00:04:13.280 No, she was.

00:04:14.280 Is it common for models to get like offered money for sex?

00:04:22.320 Is that common?

00:04:23.020 I think, yeah, it happens.

00:04:24.720 It happens.

00:04:25.560 Yeah.

00:04:26.400 It does happen.

00:04:27.320 So, it does happen.

00:04:29.320 I do modeling as well.

00:04:30.400 And as well as other things.

00:04:33.140 A lot of models get invited on like image trips,

00:04:36.840 image trips and like vacations and stuff like that.

00:04:39.560 And from firsthand experience, you go and you do some work out there.

00:04:44.600 But also there are people that are probably sort of wealthy people.

00:04:49.800 I don't know why they're there, because they're not part of the modeling thing.

00:04:52.640 Or maybe they are behind the scenes and there's the not the worst.

00:04:57.880 But the weirdest experience I ever had was we had about five models, five escorts and and then five like actual.

00:05:05.480 I don't know what they were, but they were definitely down for whatever.

00:05:07.880 And then and so what would happen is throughout the trip, you would do the the shoots in the day or whatever.

00:05:15.200 And then in the evening, you go for dinner, you'd hang out, whatever.

00:05:17.640 And the guys on the trip would try with the models first.

00:05:21.280 If it didn't work, they'd go to the next.

00:05:23.640 If it didn't work, it's like it's a great normal tactic.

00:05:26.640 But that's but that's and these trips were specifically like formulated like that.

00:05:30.640 Were the guys, were they married or no?

00:05:32.640 I think a couple of them were and some of them not.

00:05:35.640 But where are their wives?

00:05:37.640 Not on the trip.

00:05:38.640 Because it's a work trip, right?

00:05:39.640 That's it.

00:05:40.640 It's like.

00:05:41.640 Yeah.

00:05:42.640 So you say that.

00:05:43.640 Yeah, that's that's in your experience.

00:05:46.640 Are the men that proposition that escorts, models, whatever they typically married or are they typically single?

00:05:54.640 I think mostly single.

00:05:56.640 I think single because they go more out like in this social things.

00:06:00.640 And also it happens here a lot in London.

00:06:02.640 I just imagine if I was a rich guy and I wanted to cheat, I feel like an escort would be because they got to sign them.

00:06:07.640 You don't have any like.

00:06:09.640 It's a business transaction rather than.

00:06:11.640 You don't get no girls on Instagram.

00:06:13.640 And you know what I saw one guy saying?

00:06:16.640 That sometimes it's cheaper to pay for a escort girl.

00:06:19.640 And it's guaranteed that you're going to have that in the end of the night.

00:06:22.640 And sometimes taking a girl and having to invest in this, this and that.

00:06:26.640 So they just go straight away.

00:06:27.640 What type of women have offered to pay you for sex?

00:06:30.640 Oh, me.

00:06:31.640 Older ones.

00:06:32.640 Older.

00:06:33.640 Older.

00:06:34.640 Typically.

00:06:35.640 So like when I was like, I was on a family trip, I think.

00:06:36.640 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:06:37.640 Back in the day.

00:06:38.640 Back in the day I was like 16 probably.

00:06:42.640 Yeah.

00:06:43.640 So that's when it started happening.

00:06:45.640 Like there's this woman, she's with her family.

00:06:48.640 she started like messaging my we're not messing ringing the hotel phone line

00:06:53.600 my family were out and she had family and stuff and I didn't realize what was

00:06:57.940 happening and after it was about maybe four or five years after that I kept in

00:07:02.920 contact with her like she kept calling and texting and stuff

00:07:06.760 no I didn't do it I never did I just I like the kick from it though I've got a

00:07:09.880 kick from it I mean as I got older 18 19 I I don't know I've done some some

00:07:15.820 funny stuff and I'm proud to talk about it there's always it was that

00:07:23.740 unsociable women that wanted a bit of companionship and I was like I consider

00:07:28.900 myself a bit intelligent I mean so like just being able to speak to someone that

00:07:32.920 was older than me for a bit of companionship and yeah it was always older

00:07:36.580 women were they typically married or single they were single they just worked

00:07:40.900 hard they just didn't know how to socialize so they're rich rich single

00:07:45.100 women rich single women right and did you ever I was modeling doing all the big

00:07:49.260 campaigns I'll go to the Novikovs and the yeah did you ever did you ever do it maybe

00:07:56.900 I'm curious being the most swiped man on tinder like how many matches do you get a day

00:08:10.100 well well back in the day yeah I was probably getting I don't know it's not

00:08:16.900 matches it swipes 14,000 swipes wow but I think I I think there's a bit of statistics to it right I

00:08:26.320 believe because I've done a bit of TV growing up I had that face I was quite

00:08:30.360 recognizable and for modeling I was like going through all the towns so I was

00:08:34.900 quite you know small towns and that stuff every day hitting the market yeah yeah so

00:08:40.240 I was that little I was that gap in the market and I was getting swiped but not

00:08:43.960 matches it was just swipes I'm curious if you met up with a girl yeah and like

00:08:48.660 hooked up with her yeah what percent of the time would she want to date you and

00:08:52.060 what percent of the time oh I dated three of the girls from tinder

00:08:54.700 I'm asking like what percent like if you hooked up with a girl what percent of the

00:09:04.900 time like would girls ever be okay with it just being a casual thing or would

00:09:08.700 they ever I would always cut the line so I I just enjoyed going out in a bar like

00:09:14.020 every country I went to if I was working in say Spain I'd go like on tinder plus

00:09:19.300 share move my passport there before I got there and make a friend a week before

00:09:22.900 there so that I just done that all the time it was nice for me to like make

00:09:26.740 friends all over the world yeah and I didn't see it as all I want to sleep with

00:09:29.800 that person I just thought how many friends can I make okay I just had that mindset

00:09:33.940 but I'm asking if you ended up hooking up with a girl what percent of the time

00:09:37.600 would she want to date you would it be all what happened three times oh only three

00:09:42.520 yeah yeah okay but you wanted more times and I did but they didn't it actually

00:09:47.980 only happened three times oh and like they're all over the press and so oh so

00:09:52.000 most of the time they didn't want yeah they probably had a boyfriend and I mean

00:09:55.960 66% of people on tinder are in a relationship so when you do statistics it

00:10:00.880 makes sense okay yeah so I've got yeah so it wasn't even like people directly

00:10:06.340 cheating on me every time it was like them cheating on someone else can you

00:10:09.760 imagine oh my gosh oh 360 spiders web oh my god okay have you ever cheated I did

00:10:19.360 and thank you wait thank you for I'm not clapping for the cheating guys just the

00:10:27.340 honesty I know they're gonna clip that honestly gets you a long way and I

00:10:32.920 personally believe that everybody cheats they just don't admit and nowadays when you

00:10:38.880 know that the guy doesn't want to hear that or he doesn't just want to know he

00:10:42.420 doesn't they don't want to know yeah you just say no I didn't so like people

00:10:46.680 don't admit so how who who did you cheat on how long were you with them all of my

00:10:52.440 relationships oh all of us yes okay how do you typically cheat when I'm

00:10:58.440 emotionally gone when I'm okay for example my last one my last

00:11:02.820 relationship I was honest and I said look if you do this

00:11:08.880 I'm gone I'm gonna cheat he just did it and I did it and I never I never lied

00:11:14.260 I never lied what did he do okay basically I was not happy with the thing

00:11:21.180 that he's going away with his friends holidays with his friends all the time

00:11:25.560 because we all know what is gonna happen there and okay if you don't enough

00:11:29.340 with that life then okay I just go my way oh so so you cheated because he went on a

00:11:35.700 boys trip yeah multiple times when I asked about cheating I was asking like

00:11:40.700 what way did you meet the guy you cheat with cheat with was it an ex was it

00:11:44.440 someone you knew before or was it someone you met that was new the one I

00:11:48.120 cheated with yeah it was just after my ex no no I'm saying how did you meet the

00:11:55.620 guy probably out okay so you go out on the yeah go out it's easy nowadays for

00:12:03.540 women to cheat come on

00:12:06.620 what I'm curious about more is there ever was it ever like one guy you would cheat

00:12:16.440 with like every relationship you'd maybe go back to a guy to cheat with no I'm not

00:12:22.240 from here so back back home there was someone else it's like big gap between

00:12:27.240 the years and yeah I just believe everybody cheats and mostly woman and I

00:12:33.800 truly believe that we just we just better we just better with like like it's easy

00:12:39.240 it's it's easy to find find out when a guy cheats they don't know how to hide

00:12:45.240 they don't really know how to hide but girls girls they just gonna like play with

00:12:50.240 your emotions they're just gonna come back like nothing happens how would you hide it

00:12:55.240 me personally I never hide it

00:12:58.240 how do you think that girls typically hide it

00:13:10.240 like I said emotionally like they're just gonna come back nothing happened we good you

00:13:15.240 know you're not gonna find anything on her phone

00:13:17.240 so if you had a brother if you had a brother I have a brother yeah okay and he thought his

00:13:22.240 girl was cheating on him how would you say like how could he know if she was cheating

00:13:27.240 I don't know I don't know it's just I it's very it's very difficult to find out when women cheats

00:13:35.240 that's why all of them they say I don't I never did because it's very difficult to find when a woman

00:13:41.240 how many girls in here were capping when they said they didn't cheat

00:13:44.240 most of them

00:13:46.240 no that's not true

00:13:48.240 they never gonna say they never gonna admit

00:13:52.240 think about that

00:13:54.240 no seriously

00:13:55.240 but they will sew it

00:13:57.240 they will sew it so for example if a woman cheat on the man there are some signs that you can understand

00:14:02.240 okay all I'm trying all I'm trying to say like woman knows that guys they don't even wanna know if you cheated or no

00:14:09.240 they don't care

00:14:10.240 I wanna know

00:14:11.240 no guys they don't wanna know

00:14:12.240 I don't wanna be detective Steph anymore

00:14:14.240 like don't don't tell me

00:14:15.240 yeah

00:14:16.240 so if you know already like if you know he doesn't wanna know or just play cool and you'll be good

00:14:21.240 what type of man wouldn't like to know that

00:14:23.240 tell me one type of man because

00:14:25.240 I know many they just don't wanna know

00:14:27.240 I don't wanna know

00:14:28.240 I don't know what type of man out there

00:14:29.240 can you name and shame them?

00:14:33.240 so you said there are ways to know

00:14:34.240 how do you know if your girl is cheating?

00:14:36.240 she's changing a little bit the behavior

00:14:37.240 she start maybe putting the weight on you

00:14:40.240 who are you talking to?

00:14:42.240 same thing

00:14:43.240 if she starts getting like

00:14:46.240 guys are just as bad

00:14:48.240 if not worse

00:14:49.240 yeah

00:14:50.240 excuse me

00:14:51.240 guys maybe they don't even care you know

00:14:53.240 or they are not good enough to hide it

00:14:56.240 also women become more secretive

00:14:58.240 start spending more time out maybe

00:15:00.240 going out with her friends

00:15:01.240 the phone doesn't work

00:15:02.240 never happened to me personally that much

00:15:05.240 but I can see it in other people

00:15:07.240 like how it's happening

00:15:08.240 and you know when you are on the third person

00:15:11.240 you can easily understand and you say

00:15:13.240 mate come on

00:15:14.240 can you like understand that something

00:15:16.240 you're the third person

00:15:17.240 I mean from the outside you say

00:15:20.240 come on you don't see that

00:15:23.240 and usually men do not see that

00:15:24.240 because they are blind by like love or something

00:15:26.240 I don't know

00:15:27.240 so you're the third person

00:15:29.240 and you say

00:15:30.240 as a friend

00:15:31.240 okay

00:15:33.240 have you cheated?

00:15:34.240 yeah I did

00:15:35.240 but in my defense

00:15:37.240 in my defense

00:15:38.240 straight after I kissed the guy

00:15:39.240 I broke up

00:15:40.240 I ended my relationship straight away

00:15:41.240 so you cheated

00:15:42.240 and I think I kind of like

00:15:43.240 I already knew that I had to break

00:15:45.240 and my relationship for months

00:15:46.240 I just didn't know how

00:15:47.240 I just moved to the country

00:15:48.240 so how many years were you with him?

00:15:51.240 nearly five

00:15:52.240 five years

00:15:53.240 but already for at least half a year

00:15:54.240 I knew it was

00:15:55.240 so for about six months

00:15:56.240 I hear this a lot

00:15:57.240 it's about six months

00:15:58.240 and it was like literally like

00:15:59.240 the relationship wasn't good

00:16:00.240 there was no love anymore

00:16:01.240 there wasn't attraction anymore

00:16:02.240 what wasn't good about it?

00:16:03.240 it was just

00:16:05.240 the love was gone

00:16:07.240 okay

00:16:08.240 I mean it was still love

00:16:09.240 would you say it was boring?

00:16:11.240 yeah

00:16:12.240 and I think

00:16:13.240 I think there were more like

00:16:14.240 differences in

00:16:15.240 he was ready to proper settle down

00:16:17.240 right

00:16:18.240 and you weren't ready?

00:16:19.240 I wasn't

00:16:20.240 I didn't lose

00:16:21.240 I still had my wild hairs

00:16:22.240 I didn't have my time by myself

00:16:23.240 I think for me it was like

00:16:24.240 for months

00:16:25.240 I knew I had to break up

00:16:26.240 I just didn't know how

00:16:27.240 I just moved to a new country

00:16:28.240 I didn't have family here

00:16:29.240 I didn't have friends

00:16:30.240 did he move with you?

00:16:31.240 yeah

00:16:32.240 okay

00:16:33.240 so he moved

00:16:34.240 did he move because of you?

00:16:35.240 no no no no together

00:16:36.240 together

00:16:37.240 okay

00:16:38.240 so then I think

00:16:39.240 I met someone

00:16:40.240 in the gym

00:16:41.240 who was in a similar situation

00:16:42.240 like

00:16:43.240 oh

00:16:44.240 PT

00:16:45.240 no

00:16:46.240 I don't do a PT no more now

00:16:47.240 no

00:16:48.240 and we just like

00:16:49.240 we were training together

00:16:50.240 and then we started to talk

00:16:51.240 and like we're in the same situation

00:16:52.240 like hey we're both in a relationship

00:16:53.240 but we actually want to step out of it

00:16:55.240 but we don't know how

00:16:56.240 so we just actually kind of like

00:16:57.240 had

00:16:58.240 the conversation

00:16:59.240 it was kind of like

00:17:00.240 nice to talk to someone about it

00:17:01.240 yeah

00:17:02.240 and then I go

00:17:03.240 sorry

00:17:04.240 did you date him?

00:17:05.240 no we didn't date

00:17:06.240 we were just like talking

00:17:07.240 like off the night from the gym

00:17:08.240 we were just talking

00:17:09.240 and then

00:17:10.240 one night

00:17:11.240 having a kiss

00:17:12.240 but then straight away

00:17:13.240 I can't remember if it was that same night

00:17:14.240 or the next day

00:17:15.240 I ended the relationship

00:17:16.240 did you guys ever hook up or no?

00:17:17.240 after that

00:17:18.240 after I

00:17:19.240 after I broke up

00:17:20.240 after I ended the relationship

00:17:21.240 yeah

00:17:22.240 but you guys

00:17:23.240 he didn't become your boyfriend or anything

00:17:24.240 no

00:17:25.240 can I ask you

00:17:26.240 why you got bored

00:17:27.240 like with the other person

00:17:28.240 and you start looking to someone else

00:17:29.240 I wasn't bored

00:17:30.240 I was just like

00:17:31.240 the

00:17:32.240 the love was gone

00:17:33.240 the attraction was gone

00:17:34.240 the sexual attraction was gone

00:17:35.240 and if I'm not sexually attracted

00:17:36.240 to you

00:17:37.240 what's your love language?

00:17:38.240 do you think

00:17:39.240 do you think

00:17:40.240 I appreciate the honesty

00:17:41.240 but I just question

00:17:42.240 do you think it's fair to say

00:17:43.240 that women look for

00:17:44.240 a replacement guy

00:17:45.240 before the relationship's over?

00:17:47.240 I don't think I was looking for

00:17:48.240 I don't

00:17:49.240 I wasn't looking for

00:17:50.240 I need you to stop talking

00:17:51.240 when she's talking

00:17:52.240 shh

00:17:53.240 go ahead

00:17:54.240 I'm a teacher

00:17:55.240 shh

00:17:56.240 go ahead

00:17:57.240 I don't think I was looking

00:17:58.240 for a replacement

00:17:59.240 not at all

00:18:00.240 I think I was more looking for

00:18:01.240 I needed a push

00:18:02.240 to actually end the relationship

00:18:04.240 because I didn't feel like

00:18:05.240 it was fair to him

00:18:06.240 do you feel like you cheated

00:18:07.240 to like end the relationship almost?

00:18:09.240 almost

00:18:10.240 for me to just kind of get a kick

00:18:11.240 under my ass like

00:18:12.240 dude come on

00:18:13.240 you need to break up

00:18:14.240 because it's not fair to him

00:18:15.240 because I still care about him

00:18:16.240 every so often I still talk to him

00:18:17.240 he's like

00:18:18.240 happily like

00:18:19.240 in a relationship now

00:18:20.240 the first girl after me

00:18:21.240 he's still with

00:18:22.240 he has two kids

00:18:23.240 and I'm really happy for him

00:18:24.240 because she

00:18:25.240 she was what

00:18:26.240 what he needed

00:18:27.240 he wanted to be in a

00:18:28.240 you know settle down

00:18:29.240 I have a question

00:18:30.240 are you

00:18:31.240 you're single right?

00:18:32.240 yeah

00:18:33.240 how old are you again?

00:18:34.240 34

00:18:35.240 okay if you were to never have children

00:18:37.240 would you regret that decision?

00:18:38.240 no

00:18:39.240 no

00:18:40.240 because I now

00:18:41.240 I would

00:18:42.240 I don't see

00:18:43.240 I've never seen myself with him

00:18:44.240 mm-hmm

00:18:45.240 I just got out of a long relationship

00:18:46.240 mm-hmm

00:18:47.240 because I got cheated on

00:18:48.240 um

00:18:49.240 okay so that's my next question

00:18:51.240 so he cheated on you

00:18:52.240 yeah

00:18:53.240 how did you find out?

00:18:54.240 well we were already broken up

00:18:55.240 we just we literally

00:18:56.240 wait wait

00:18:57.240 well

00:18:58.240 yeah

00:18:59.240 no

00:19:00.240 sorry

00:19:01.240 so basically we ended the relationship

00:19:02.240 not because I wanted to

00:19:03.240 but I had to

00:19:04.240 it was a toxic relationship

00:19:05.240 okay

00:19:06.240 what was toxic about it?

00:19:07.240 what was not toxic about it?

00:19:10.240 okay

00:19:11.240 I need to

00:19:12.240 so what was it?

00:19:13.240 what was toxic about it?

00:19:14.240 there was always arguments

00:19:15.240 there were always arguments

00:19:16.240 there was always

00:19:17.240 there was a lot of

00:19:18.240 um

00:19:21.240 there was a lot of lying

00:19:22.240 there was a lot of like

00:19:23.240 not being honest with each other

00:19:24.240 not being like

00:19:25.240 open communication

00:19:26.240 you would both lie to each other?

00:19:27.240 no

00:19:28.240 he would lie to you?

00:19:29.240 a lot

00:19:30.240 okay what would he lie about?

00:19:31.240 things like simple things like

00:19:32.240 hey

00:19:33.240 oh I'm going out

00:19:34.240 okay Google where are you going?

00:19:35.240 I don't have to tell you

00:19:36.240 that's not lying

00:19:37.240 that's not lying

00:19:38.240 but saying like

00:19:39.240 oh

00:19:40.240 things like

00:19:41.240 oh I'm just

00:19:42.240 what did he say

00:19:43.240 things like

00:19:44.240 oh I'm just going out

00:19:45.240 oh no I'm just going to the gym

00:19:46.240 what are you going to do with this

00:19:47.240 and you end up being on a party

00:19:48.240 you're going to bowl party

00:19:49.240 whatever

00:19:50.240 oh no this shirt is for a friend

00:19:51.240 I got a shirt for a friend

00:19:52.240 yeah

00:19:53.240 okay

00:19:54.240 yeah

00:19:55.240 it's interesting because it seems like

00:19:56.240 it's like for the party boy

00:19:58.240 like you didn't break up with him

00:20:00.240 or you did maybe because of cheating

00:20:01.240 but it's like

00:20:02.240 no no it's not that

00:20:03.240 it was just

00:20:04.240 that was just like

00:20:05.240 I won't go into many details

00:20:06.240 it was just like

00:20:07.240 I don't want to

00:20:08.240 um

00:20:09.240 no no no

00:20:10.240 it was just like

00:20:11.240 it was a very unhealthy relationship

00:20:12.240 there were too many arguments

00:20:13.240 there was always

00:20:14.240 the same problems

00:20:15.240 kept coming back

00:20:16.240 kept coming back

00:20:17.240 how long were you with him?

00:20:18.240 four and a half years

00:20:19.240 four and a half years

00:20:20.240 do you think it's fair to say

00:20:21.240 that nice guys finish last?

00:20:23.240 I don't know

00:20:26.240 sometimes

00:20:27.240 what do you mean that?

00:20:28.240 um

00:20:29.240 that nice guy

00:20:30.240 like when women

00:20:31.240 when men treat women too nice

00:20:33.240 we don't appreciate them

00:20:35.240 I would quite like to be treated very nicely actually

00:20:38.240 I think mature women appreciate that guys

00:20:40.240 what?

00:20:41.240 everyone

00:20:42.240 everyone

00:20:43.240 everyone

00:20:44.240 thinks that men should respect women right?

00:20:46.240 yeah

00:20:47.240 yeah

00:20:48.240 and you like that

00:20:49.240 yeah

00:20:50.240 it goes both ways

00:20:51.240 it goes both ways

00:20:52.240 very much

00:20:53.240 I just need to clarify that

00:20:55.240 it goes both ways

00:20:57.240 it goes both ways

00:20:58.240 now

00:20:59.240 I mean the relationship had to end

00:21:00.240 but then

00:21:01.240 when the relationship ended

00:21:02.240 it's not because I wanted to

00:21:03.240 but it had to

00:21:04.240 right but you wanted to stay with him right?

00:21:05.240 but you just couldn't because

00:21:06.240 oh in my heart

00:21:07.240 and like we broke up many times

00:21:08.240 and every time I kept coming back

00:21:09.240 because I loved him so much

00:21:10.240 okay okay but I'm just saying

00:21:11.240 I'm just showing the difference

00:21:12.240 in how you treated the nice guy

00:21:14.240 versus the party boy

00:21:15.240 because the party boy

00:21:16.240 you said you didn't want to leave

00:21:18.240 but you did because of the cheating

00:21:20.240 right?

00:21:21.240 no no no because I only found that out after we broke up

00:21:23.240 okay

00:21:24.240 but like it was a toxic relationship

00:21:25.240 very much

00:21:26.240 and you didn't want to leave

00:21:27.240 where it seems like you were bored of the first guy

00:21:29.240 which kind of

00:21:30.240 I think also because like

00:21:31.240 I was a bit younger

00:21:32.240 a lot younger

00:21:33.240 I understand

00:21:34.240 but my only point is a lot of times I hear a complaint from guys

00:21:37.240 when they treat women too nice

00:21:38.240 they don't appreciate them

00:21:40.240 and it just sounds like this is what happened

00:21:42.240 no absolutely not

00:21:43.240 no I definitely

00:21:44.240 no absolutely not

00:21:45.240 I appreciated like

00:21:46.240 that first boyfriend a lot

00:21:47.240 like I had

00:21:48.240 still now

00:21:49.240 if I look back on that relationship

00:21:50.240 it was a nice relationship

00:21:51.240 it was good

00:21:52.240 there was just at one point

00:21:53.240 but then the guys would say then

00:21:54.240 where is he?

00:21:55.240 like if you appreciated him

00:21:56.240 then you wouldn't have dumped him

00:21:57.240 no that's bullshit

00:21:58.240 because if I'm not

00:21:59.240 if I'm not like

00:22:00.240 in love with you anymore

00:22:01.240 if the sexual attraction is not there anymore

00:22:03.240 like if it's like

00:22:04.240 you know

00:22:05.240 but a common complaint I hear

00:22:06.240 is that if they are too nice to us

00:22:08.240 that we don't appreciate them

00:22:10.240 and we get bored and leave

00:22:11.240 and I think it's a little bit like

00:22:14.240 when I first heard it

00:22:15.240 I was like what?

00:22:16.240 we don't do that

00:22:17.240 but then I started listening

00:22:18.240 and looking at patterns

00:22:19.240 I mean the first one wasn't always the nicest one either

00:22:22.240 like but it was in general

00:22:23.240 it was a good relationship

00:22:24.240 it was a good relationship

00:22:25.240 and I look back on it as in

00:22:26.240 that was a good relationship

00:22:27.240 we still every so often talk

00:22:28.240 have a chat

00:22:29.240 hey how are you doing?

00:22:30.240 you know like

00:22:31.240 you should cut him off to be honest

00:22:33.240 you're not listening to what she's saying

00:22:34.240 that's the point

00:22:35.240 the point is it was a good relationship

00:22:36.240 by your judgement

00:22:37.240 but you wanted to leave

00:22:39.240 but then

00:22:40.240 you also just came and said

00:22:42.240 you were in a toxic relationship

00:22:43.240 and you didn't want to leave

00:22:45.240 yeah and I still

00:22:46.240 and I still

00:22:47.240 you know how many times

00:22:48.240 I ask myself that question?

00:22:49.240 because I think the thing is

00:22:50.240 yeah

00:22:51.240 oh trust me

00:22:52.240 you know how many times

00:22:53.240 I ask myself that question?

00:22:54.240 right right right right

00:22:55.240 so I'm not judging you

00:22:56.240 I'm just noticing

00:22:57.240 I'm just noticing a pattern

00:22:59.240 where we reward bad behaviour

00:23:02.240 and then wonder where the nice guys are at

00:23:04.240 yeah

00:23:05.240 oh no I get you

00:23:06.240 thank you

00:23:07.240 okay

JustPearlyThings - August 03, 2023

This Modern Woman Said This About Women

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