JustPearlyThings - November 02, 2023


This Old 304 Says Modern Men Are Immature


Episode Stats


Length

12 minutes

Words per minute

181.27539

Word count

2,186

Sentence count

313

Harmful content

Misogyny

7

sentences flagged

Hate speech

7

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about the things we've done that have made us feel a little ick and the experiences we've had in the dating world. We talk about how we've dealt with some of the most awkward dating situations we've ever had and how we dealt with them.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Icks. So, icks would be bad manners, the way someone holds themselves, how they treat others, eating with their mouth open would be a massive ick. That would be a no.
00:00:12.780 How about eating vegan food?
00:00:16.580 The vegan food.
00:00:17.900 Straight up, ick. I haven't done a lot of dating or anything. I've only ever had long-term relationships, really, so I don't have a major experience in my relationships.
00:00:28.300 I don't think arguing is a good thing. I don't think, so, you know, in my last relationship, I didn't argue or anything like that because, you know, you're there to actually complement each other.
00:00:40.040 You're there to make each other's life advance. You want to actually, you know, your man advancing advances your life too.
00:00:48.640 You guys didn't argue at all?
00:00:51.100 No, until the end.
00:00:52.700 Okay.
00:00:53.100 Until the end.
00:00:53.680 I was like, you should get married then.
00:00:57.840 That sounds like a great relationship.
00:00:59.500 Yeah, we were together for a long time.
00:01:01.220 Oh, okay.
00:01:01.760 Yeah. But no, to the end because of situations and things that happened.
00:01:07.500 Okay. What about you, ick?
00:01:10.140 Ick in general.
00:01:12.380 Yeah, just the last ick. The last time you were, maybe you went on a date or two or you and you thought, I can never see this guy again ever.
00:01:20.280 I feel like so bad saying it though. But the last ick that I had was someone asked me out for a coffee and he's like, come and meet me for a coffee. So there I was happy to go meet him for a coffee. And he turned up with his friend.
00:01:38.000 So I was like, oh, what's going on here?
00:01:41.880 Who does that at the age we're at now?
00:01:43.560 Right.
00:01:43.980 How old was he?
00:01:45.420 Imagine.
00:01:46.260 How old was he?
00:01:47.660 He's my, he's 30. He's 30.
00:01:50.220 It's his mentality.
00:01:51.100 Imagine. So I was like shocked and I thought, nah, this can't be real.
00:01:55.500 Where's the camera?
00:01:59.800 Like it's a prank.
00:02:00.860 Honestly, I did. I think so. I thought some of my friends were setting me up. And then I thought, no, he's, he's not joking. So the lady in Starbucks, am I allowed to say that? The lady knows me there. So she's like coconut mocha.
00:02:14.440 And I'm like, so I look behind me and he's then gone and ordered his drink and his mates drink. But I've got my app ready to pay. And I'm like, no way am I paying for him and his mates coffee?
00:02:30.840 I swear to God, I paid and left. I swear, I paid and left. I paid and left because, yeah, because, listen, it's my local. I couldn't do that to myself.
00:02:43.740 It's my local. It was too shameful. Plus my points were nearly collected from my three new ones.
00:02:50.540 That's all you need a point.
00:02:51.760 I was like, that's all right. But that was a big ick for me. And some of my friends were like, that's really shallow. What was it? Shallow or.
00:03:00.300 It's not at all. Because I felt so violated and disrespected in that instance of him just showing up with his friend in the first place.
00:03:07.980 Yeah.
00:03:08.260 It's not one masculine trait.
00:03:09.800 Like it wasn't, it wasn't like a business meeting or something.
00:03:12.340 No, no, no, no. Imagine. No, he don't have a company.
00:03:15.180 He brought him for coffee too.
00:03:16.320 No, and I have a company. So if it was a company setting, I, no, I know I paid. I had to.
00:03:22.840 I was so embarrassed. I swear.
00:03:25.820 I was. I was embarrassed. I was embarrassed.
00:03:28.900 She just wanted to exit.
00:03:30.120 Yeah, I had to take the lead. I left.
00:03:32.920 That's weird.
00:03:33.340 I am ultimately quite bossy though. Like I was going to lead on to. If it was a meeting, a business meeting, fair enough. I'm used to sitting on boards with all people and buying the coffee. That's all right. I don't mind that. But he was asking me out to get to know me. That's why I was shocked.
00:03:50.060 That even bought a friend.
00:03:51.900 Did he even, did he mention that at all? Why the guy was there?
00:03:55.220 He's completely, he's completely lost over the situation.
00:03:59.180 No, no, no, he did. To be fair. They're not. He wasn't from the area. Right. To be fair. And he was like, my friends. I was like, why have you, why have you bought your mate? And he's like, well, he was just, you know, in the area.
00:04:11.060 And I was like, it was getting worse. How did you meet him? So we was talking for like, I would say about a year or two. On Instagram? We met, yeah. So we met through other friends and yeah, it continued through Instagram. So I would say Instagram relation. Wow, two years leading up to this date. What a legend. Exactly. Can you imagine? You will never get that time back. Exactly. Wow. Time is a currency boy. To be fair, in all fairness, it was an invested time on my part.
00:04:38.900 But I'm just saying in general, for about two years, we had been in communication and hadn't met up in person. So when it come to that time, I was so upset. Like, I couldn't believe it. But that was an ick. Yeah, cut me off. You dropped the ball.
00:04:52.600 Cut me off. I get it, dog. I get it. I get it. Weird. Yeah, that was my end. What about you? Last ick?
00:05:00.280 The inability to lead. Yeah. What is, like, can I have an example of that?
00:05:07.860 Not buying the coffee. Two.
00:05:09.640 Two. I'll take it.
00:05:13.940 I like, I, okay, it's about what I like. Obviously, this is about me. So I like a man, a masculine man that's not intimidated by somebody else or the next person next to me. If you're into me, I want to feel your aura, your presence around me.
00:05:30.660 Because I'm, clearly, I'm into you and I'm all about you. And I don't need you to be all about me, like, drooling on me.
00:05:37.320 But I feel your presence.
00:05:41.680 Energy.
00:05:42.240 Energy. And if I don't feel that, it's just such a, you don't have to do the grandest gestures.
00:05:48.600 But the lead, like, in a restaurant, not being able to open the menu.
00:05:54.940 Yes, you're getting to know me. But what would be nice and what would be good is after you've gotten to know me, I would like you to place my order.
00:06:03.560 I think that's what my man should be able to do. So the inability to do that is a big it.
00:06:09.520 Okay. So if he doesn't place your order, then?
00:06:12.300 I want a traditional man. So if you're not traditional, you're in it. 0.65
00:06:15.720 Okay. Do you think you're traditional?
00:06:17.440 A hundred percent.
00:06:18.500 Okay. What makes you traditional?
00:06:20.080 Probably no. No, let me take that back.
00:06:22.580 Let me go. 78%.
00:06:27.680 Okay. What makes you traditional?
00:06:31.640 I have a lot of traditional values. I was born and raised in a different country.
00:06:35.740 So my morals compass is a little bit more different than people that were born and raised.
00:06:43.420 More West.
00:06:44.340 Okay.
00:06:44.800 So I'm just going to say that.
00:06:46.460 Like what?
00:06:47.920 I'd like to be a homemaker.
00:06:51.420 I absolutely love family.
00:06:54.480 The traditional, I'm saying traditional, older way. 0.96
00:06:59.200 Old school way.
00:06:59.860 Older way.
00:07:01.480 Because the traditional, when you go and saying the word tradition, it means something from before.
00:07:06.280 Right.
00:07:06.460 So it's an older way.
00:07:08.020 Today's traditions are different.
00:07:09.820 Yeah.
00:07:10.320 Because of the way the world is.
00:07:12.260 Okay.
00:07:12.540 So therefore, if I could, in the ideal world, when things are all rosy and it goes my way,
00:07:20.500 I have like my five or six kids and my husband and yeah.
00:07:24.460 Okay.
00:07:25.280 But I'm still not hearing what makes you traditional.
00:07:27.940 Me?
00:07:28.780 Yeah.
00:07:29.220 I, I'm, I'm peace.
00:07:32.340 What does that mean?
00:07:33.620 I'm, I am peace to my partner.
00:07:36.360 Right.
00:07:36.860 But what is, like, what do you do specifically that brings people?
00:07:39.520 I communicate effectively.
00:07:40.440 I cook, I clean, I, I run our home effectively.
00:07:44.620 I do my part.
00:07:45.520 Okay.
00:07:45.940 So, and you were like raised to do that.
00:07:47.680 Your mom taught you that?
00:07:49.480 My family taught me to do that.
00:07:51.040 My mother, my grandmothers, the men in my family.
00:07:55.360 Yeah.
00:07:56.240 Okay.
00:07:56.820 But I do my part.
00:07:57.680 But they did their part too.
00:08:00.080 They, they, what was their part?
00:08:01.040 And the men in my family did their part too.
00:08:02.780 They, they provided.
00:08:04.020 Yeah.
00:08:04.440 Okay.
00:08:04.660 So you're, so you're saying you're actually.
00:08:06.120 I saw good examples of what men do and still do and have done.
00:08:12.020 So my grandfathers, my actual father, um, and yeah, my moral compass, I think is we all,
00:08:20.080 again, the 78%, not a hundred percent.
00:08:22.200 We all do things.
00:08:24.400 That precise number again.
00:08:25.540 Okay.
00:08:25.860 I live, I live, I live, yes, I live in 2020.
00:08:29.560 What do you have three?
00:08:30.160 So wait, how, how old are you again?
00:08:31.840 31.
00:08:32.680 Okay.
00:08:32.900 So usually traditional women marry young typically. 1.00
00:08:36.620 So what made you not, cause I'm only asking, cause if a guy.
00:08:39.760 I don't think I said I was single in the beginning, did I?
00:08:41.840 Okay.
00:08:42.480 Um, I, I, I thought you said you weren't married.
00:08:45.560 I didn't say that, but I'm not married.
00:08:47.420 Okay.
00:08:48.240 Okay.
00:08:48.640 So in the Western world, no, no, no.
00:08:50.400 Okay.
00:08:50.760 But you're, you got like a ring or something.
00:08:53.160 Yeah.
00:08:53.560 I've got plenty of rings.
00:08:55.620 No, I'm not, I'm not like you did it in the church or something.
00:08:58.180 I don't know.
00:08:58.880 We don't do that.
00:08:59.820 Okay.
00:09:00.580 Are you married?
00:09:01.520 Are you married?
00:09:02.340 Yes.
00:09:02.580 I have a partner.
00:09:04.180 Are you married?
00:09:05.460 We are.
00:09:06.200 Yeah.
00:09:07.000 I mean, to our, we are together.
00:09:09.120 Yes.
00:09:09.780 Are you married?
00:09:10.360 So, so no, no to what the Western sign legal documents that.
00:09:15.260 Well, I don't know.
00:09:16.340 Oh, so no, I don't have.
00:09:17.280 Islamically married.
00:09:19.780 Yeah.
00:09:20.620 Okay.
00:09:21.280 So, okay.
00:09:22.280 So you are married.
00:09:23.500 Yeah.
00:09:23.800 We, yeah, we, we, we go together.
00:09:26.220 Real bad.
00:09:27.160 Okay.
00:09:28.080 Okay.
00:09:28.700 Okay.
00:09:29.100 Cool.
00:09:29.440 So your parents raised you to do that.
00:09:30.980 One of the, one of my purposes.
00:09:33.340 Yes.
00:09:33.780 Okay.
00:09:34.420 What about you?
00:09:35.200 Last Ick?
00:09:36.420 I think I already said it.
00:09:37.560 Weed.
00:09:38.020 Weed.
00:09:38.740 Was that, you went on a date with someone and she was a smoker?
00:09:42.220 Yeah.
00:09:42.240 Like I, I rocked up at her house to pick her up and like the door opened and it was just
00:09:47.860 weed.
00:09:49.380 Central.
00:09:49.820 Weed Central.
00:09:51.080 Amsterdam.
00:09:51.720 It was Amsterdam.
00:09:52.540 I'm like, all right, dinner.
00:09:54.100 Cool.
00:09:54.360 See you next time.
00:09:55.320 Like I'll still, I'll still take her.
00:09:56.360 I'll still be a gentleman and take her out for dinner and get to know her a little bit.
00:09:58.140 But it was like that, that was just in the back of my head the whole time.
00:10:00.980 It was that much of a big ick if you still took her out.
00:10:03.600 Well, I didn't see her again.
00:10:06.000 You just followed through.
00:10:07.000 I was also hungry and wanted to eat.
00:10:09.740 Definitely been there.
00:10:11.180 I'm on my way.
00:10:13.480 You know, I booked the table for two.
00:10:15.840 I don't want to sit like a dickhead.
00:10:17.820 Can I ask you why?
00:10:19.200 Why the weed is an ick?
00:10:20.420 I've just been around enough women when I was living in California and it just irritates 1.00
00:10:26.260 the hell out of me.
00:10:27.340 Like women who are high are the most annoying women on the planet. 1.00
00:10:31.120 Really?
00:10:31.620 I cannot stand it.
00:10:33.000 Okay.
00:10:33.640 I cannot stand it.
00:10:34.300 Yeah.
00:10:34.600 And it's, and like, they're always, they're always messy.
00:10:38.220 Their apartment is always a complete pigsty.
00:10:41.120 Like, everything just stinks of weed all the time.
00:10:45.860 They think they're spiritual.
00:10:50.000 No, they think they're spiritual.
00:10:51.920 I know what you mean.
00:10:53.080 That's funny.
00:10:54.260 That's funny.
00:10:55.880 The biggest problem with a chick who smokes weed is like, they get so dependent. 1.00
00:11:02.660 Yes.
00:11:03.660 If you date a girl who's like, smokes weed, because I did in the past, I've dated a girl 0.99
00:11:08.200 for like, maybe, maybe it lasted like two weeks.
00:11:11.260 She was like a big weed smoker. 1.00
00:11:13.080 She couldn't go anywhere without a joint or a bong.
00:11:17.260 Like if she, if she was without it for like half a day.
00:11:20.660 She'll start bugging out. 0.92
00:11:22.000 Man, they go nuts.
00:11:22.900 It's like, they become hyper irritable, like super paranoid and annoying.
00:11:27.280 It's just like, calm down woman. 0.99
00:11:29.600 Like, dear God, you have a, you have a problem.
00:11:31.640 You're addicted to this thing and you don't even admit it.
00:11:34.520 Yeah.
00:11:34.860 Yeah.
00:11:35.240 They'll never admit that they're, they're hooked on it.
00:11:36.960 They'll never admit it.
00:11:37.560 Indulged.
00:11:38.120 So is it codependency?
00:11:39.500 Yeah.
00:11:39.740 Someone that has a codependency.
00:11:41.500 On marijuana.
00:11:42.500 Yeah.
00:11:42.680 Or anything.
00:11:43.260 So what if it's, yeah, what if it's another form of drug?
00:11:45.600 Advice.
00:11:46.400 Yeah.
00:11:46.820 I mean, any other form.
00:11:47.900 I'm not, if she does, just any other like hardcore drugs.
00:11:51.060 It's a no.
00:11:51.880 I mean, like.
00:11:52.340 For some people, if they don't have coffee, they might start doing exactly what you say.
00:11:55.300 Maybe.
00:11:55.680 I mean, I've never, I've never met someone who sits there and chain, chain drinks.
00:11:59.280 Like, don't coffee, like the caffeine.
00:12:00.600 I want more, I want more, I want more, I want more.
00:12:02.460 More coffee, more coffee.