JustPearlyThings - November 02, 2023


This Old 304 Says Modern Men Are Immature


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Icks. So, icks would be bad manners, the way someone holds themselves, how they treat others, eating with their mouth open would be a massive ick. That would be a no.
00:00:12.780 How about eating vegan food?
00:00:16.580 The vegan food.
00:00:17.900 Straight up, ick. I haven't done a lot of dating or anything. I've only ever had long-term relationships, really, so I don't have a major experience in my relationships.
00:00:28.300 I don't think arguing is a good thing. I don't think, so, you know, in my last relationship, I didn't argue or anything like that because, you know, you're there to actually complement each other.
00:00:40.040 You're there to make each other's life advance. You want to actually, you know, your man advancing advances your life too.
00:00:48.640 You guys didn't argue at all?
00:00:51.100 No, until the end.
00:00:52.700 Okay.
00:00:53.100 Until the end.
00:00:53.680 I was like, you should get married then.
00:00:57.840 That sounds like a great relationship.
00:00:59.500 Yeah, we were together for a long time.
00:01:01.220 Oh, okay.
00:01:01.760 Yeah. But no, to the end because of situations and things that happened.
00:01:07.500 Okay. What about you, ick?
00:01:10.140 Ick in general.
00:01:12.380 Yeah, just the last ick. The last time you were, maybe you went on a date or two or you and you thought, I can never see this guy again ever.
00:01:20.280 I feel like so bad saying it though. But the last ick that I had was someone asked me out for a coffee and he's like, come and meet me for a coffee. So there I was happy to go meet him for a coffee. And he turned up with his friend.
00:01:38.000 So I was like, oh, what's going on here?
00:01:41.880 Who does that at the age we're at now?
00:01:43.560 Right.
00:01:43.980 How old was he?
00:01:45.420 Imagine.
00:01:46.260 How old was he?
00:01:47.660 He's my, he's 30. He's 30.
00:01:50.220 It's his mentality.
00:01:51.100 Imagine. So I was like shocked and I thought, nah, this can't be real.
00:01:55.500 Where's the camera?
00:01:59.800 Like it's a prank.
00:02:00.860 Honestly, I did. I think so. I thought some of my friends were setting me up. And then I thought, no, he's, he's not joking. So the lady in Starbucks, am I allowed to say that? The lady knows me there. So she's like coconut mocha.
00:02:14.440 And I'm like, so I look behind me and he's then gone and ordered his drink and his mates drink. But I've got my app ready to pay. And I'm like, no way am I paying for him and his mates coffee?
00:02:30.840 I swear to God, I paid and left. I swear, I paid and left. I paid and left because, yeah, because, listen, it's my local. I couldn't do that to myself.
00:02:43.740 It's my local. It was too shameful. Plus my points were nearly collected from my three new ones.
00:02:50.540 That's all you need a point.
00:02:51.760 I was like, that's all right. But that was a big ick for me. And some of my friends were like, that's really shallow. What was it? Shallow or.
00:03:00.300 It's not at all. Because I felt so violated and disrespected in that instance of him just showing up with his friend in the first place.
00:03:07.980 Yeah.
00:03:08.260 It's not one masculine trait.
00:03:09.800 Like it wasn't, it wasn't like a business meeting or something.
00:03:12.340 No, no, no, no. Imagine. No, he don't have a company.
00:03:15.180 He brought him for coffee too.
00:03:16.320 No, and I have a company. So if it was a company setting, I, no, I know I paid. I had to.
00:03:22.840 I was so embarrassed. I swear.
00:03:25.820 I was. I was embarrassed. I was embarrassed.
00:03:28.900 She just wanted to exit.
00:03:30.120 Yeah, I had to take the lead. I left.
00:03:32.920 That's weird.
00:03:33.340 I am ultimately quite bossy though. Like I was going to lead on to. If it was a meeting, a business meeting, fair enough. I'm used to sitting on boards with all people and buying the coffee. That's all right. I don't mind that. But he was asking me out to get to know me. That's why I was shocked.
00:03:50.060 That even bought a friend.
00:03:51.900 Did he even, did he mention that at all? Why the guy was there?
00:03:55.220 He's completely, he's completely lost over the situation.
00:03:59.180 No, no, no, he did. To be fair. They're not. He wasn't from the area. Right. To be fair. And he was like, my friends. I was like, why have you, why have you bought your mate? And he's like, well, he was just, you know, in the area.
00:04:11.060 And I was like, it was getting worse. How did you meet him? So we was talking for like, I would say about a year or two. On Instagram? We met, yeah. So we met through other friends and yeah, it continued through Instagram. So I would say Instagram relation. Wow, two years leading up to this date. What a legend. Exactly. Can you imagine? You will never get that time back. Exactly. Wow. Time is a currency boy. To be fair, in all fairness, it was an invested time on my part.
00:04:38.900 But I'm just saying in general, for about two years, we had been in communication and hadn't met up in person. So when it come to that time, I was so upset. Like, I couldn't believe it. But that was an ick. Yeah, cut me off. You dropped the ball.
00:04:52.600 Cut me off. I get it, dog. I get it. I get it. Weird. Yeah, that was my end. What about you? Last ick?
00:05:00.280 The inability to lead. Yeah. What is, like, can I have an example of that?
00:05:07.860 Not buying the coffee. Two.
00:05:09.640 Two. I'll take it.
00:05:13.940 I like, I, okay, it's about what I like. Obviously, this is about me. So I like a man, a masculine man that's not intimidated by somebody else or the next person next to me. If you're into me, I want to feel your aura, your presence around me.
00:05:30.660 Because I'm, clearly, I'm into you and I'm all about you. And I don't need you to be all about me, like, drooling on me.
00:05:37.320 But I feel your presence.
00:05:41.680 Energy.
00:05:42.240 Energy. And if I don't feel that, it's just such a, you don't have to do the grandest gestures.
00:05:48.600 But the lead, like, in a restaurant, not being able to open the menu.
00:05:54.940 Yes, you're getting to know me. But what would be nice and what would be good is after you've gotten to know me, I would like you to place my order.
00:06:03.560 I think that's what my man should be able to do. So the inability to do that is a big it.
00:06:09.520 Okay. So if he doesn't place your order, then?
00:06:12.300 I want a traditional man. So if you're not traditional, you're in it.
00:06:15.720 Okay. Do you think you're traditional?
00:06:17.440 A hundred percent.
00:06:18.500 Okay. What makes you traditional?
00:06:20.080 Probably no. No, let me take that back.
00:06:22.580 Let me go. 78%.
00:06:27.680 Okay. What makes you traditional?
00:06:31.640 I have a lot of traditional values. I was born and raised in a different country.
00:06:35.740 So my morals compass is a little bit more different than people that were born and raised.
00:06:43.420 More West.
00:06:44.340 Okay.
00:06:44.800 So I'm just going to say that.
00:06:46.460 Like what?
00:06:47.920 I'd like to be a homemaker.
00:06:51.420 I absolutely love family.
00:06:54.480 The traditional, I'm saying traditional, older way.
00:06:59.200 Old school way.
00:06:59.860 Older way.
00:07:01.480 Because the traditional, when you go and saying the word tradition, it means something from before.
00:07:06.280 Right.
00:07:06.460 So it's an older way.
00:07:08.020 Today's traditions are different.
00:07:09.820 Yeah.
00:07:10.320 Because of the way the world is.
00:07:12.260 Okay.
00:07:12.540 So therefore, if I could, in the ideal world, when things are all rosy and it goes my way,
00:07:20.500 I have like my five or six kids and my husband and yeah.
00:07:24.460 Okay.
00:07:25.280 But I'm still not hearing what makes you traditional.
00:07:27.940 Me?
00:07:28.780 Yeah.
00:07:29.220 I, I'm, I'm peace.
00:07:32.340 What does that mean?
00:07:33.620 I'm, I am peace to my partner.
00:07:36.360 Right.
00:07:36.860 But what is, like, what do you do specifically that brings people?
00:07:39.520 I communicate effectively.
00:07:40.440 I cook, I clean, I, I run our home effectively.
00:07:44.620 I do my part.
00:07:45.520 Okay.
00:07:45.940 So, and you were like raised to do that.
00:07:47.680 Your mom taught you that?
00:07:49.480 My family taught me to do that.
00:07:51.040 My mother, my grandmothers, the men in my family.
00:07:55.360 Yeah.
00:07:56.240 Okay.
00:07:56.820 But I do my part.
00:07:57.680 But they did their part too.
00:08:00.080 They, they, what was their part?
00:08:01.040 And the men in my family did their part too.
00:08:02.780 They, they provided.
00:08:04.020 Yeah.
00:08:04.440 Okay.
00:08:04.660 So you're, so you're saying you're actually.
00:08:06.120 I saw good examples of what men do and still do and have done.
00:08:12.020 So my grandfathers, my actual father, um, and yeah, my moral compass, I think is we all,
00:08:20.080 again, the 78%, not a hundred percent.
00:08:22.200 We all do things.
00:08:24.400 That precise number again.
00:08:25.540 Okay.
00:08:25.860 I live, I live, I live, yes, I live in 2020.
00:08:29.560 What do you have three?
00:08:30.160 So wait, how, how old are you again?
00:08:31.840 31.
00:08:32.680 Okay.
00:08:32.900 So usually traditional women marry young typically.
00:08:36.620 So what made you not, cause I'm only asking, cause if a guy.
00:08:39.760 I don't think I said I was single in the beginning, did I?
00:08:41.840 Okay.
00:08:42.480 Um, I, I, I thought you said you weren't married.
00:08:45.560 I didn't say that, but I'm not married.
00:08:47.420 Okay.
00:08:48.240 Okay.
00:08:48.640 So in the Western world, no, no, no.
00:08:50.400 Okay.
00:08:50.760 But you're, you got like a ring or something.
00:08:53.160 Yeah.
00:08:53.560 I've got plenty of rings.
00:08:55.620 No, I'm not, I'm not like you did it in the church or something.
00:08:58.180 I don't know.
00:08:58.880 We don't do that.
00:08:59.820 Okay.
00:09:00.580 Are you married?
00:09:01.520 Are you married?
00:09:02.340 Yes.
00:09:02.580 I have a partner.
00:09:04.180 Are you married?
00:09:05.460 We are.
00:09:06.200 Yeah.
00:09:07.000 I mean, to our, we are together.
00:09:09.120 Yes.
00:09:09.780 Are you married?
00:09:10.360 So, so no, no to what the Western sign legal documents that.
00:09:15.260 Well, I don't know.
00:09:16.340 Oh, so no, I don't have.
00:09:17.280 Islamically married.
00:09:19.780 Yeah.
00:09:20.620 Okay.
00:09:21.280 So, okay.
00:09:22.280 So you are married.
00:09:23.500 Yeah.
00:09:23.800 We, yeah, we, we, we go together.
00:09:26.220 Real bad.
00:09:27.160 Okay.
00:09:28.080 Okay.
00:09:28.700 Okay.
00:09:29.100 Cool.
00:09:29.440 So your parents raised you to do that.
00:09:30.980 One of the, one of my purposes.
00:09:33.340 Yes.
00:09:33.780 Okay.
00:09:34.420 What about you?
00:09:35.200 Last Ick?
00:09:36.420 I think I already said it.
00:09:37.560 Weed.
00:09:38.020 Weed.
00:09:38.740 Was that, you went on a date with someone and she was a smoker?
00:09:42.220 Yeah.
00:09:42.240 Like I, I rocked up at her house to pick her up and like the door opened and it was just
00:09:47.860 weed.
00:09:49.380 Central.
00:09:49.820 Weed Central.
00:09:51.080 Amsterdam.
00:09:51.720 It was Amsterdam.
00:09:52.540 I'm like, all right, dinner.
00:09:54.100 Cool.
00:09:54.360 See you next time.
00:09:55.320 Like I'll still, I'll still take her.
00:09:56.360 I'll still be a gentleman and take her out for dinner and get to know her a little bit.
00:09:58.140 But it was like that, that was just in the back of my head the whole time.
00:10:00.980 It was that much of a big ick if you still took her out.
00:10:03.600 Well, I didn't see her again.
00:10:06.000 You just followed through.
00:10:07.000 I was also hungry and wanted to eat.
00:10:09.740 Definitely been there.
00:10:11.180 I'm on my way.
00:10:13.480 You know, I booked the table for two.
00:10:15.840 I don't want to sit like a dickhead.
00:10:17.820 Can I ask you why?
00:10:19.200 Why the weed is an ick?
00:10:20.420 I've just been around enough women when I was living in California and it just irritates
00:10:26.260 the hell out of me.
00:10:27.340 Like women who are high are the most annoying women on the planet.
00:10:31.120 Really?
00:10:31.620 I cannot stand it.
00:10:33.000 Okay.
00:10:33.640 I cannot stand it.
00:10:34.300 Yeah.
00:10:34.600 And it's, and like, they're always, they're always messy.
00:10:38.220 Their apartment is always a complete pigsty.
00:10:41.120 Like, everything just stinks of weed all the time.
00:10:45.860 They think they're spiritual.
00:10:50.000 No, they think they're spiritual.
00:10:51.920 I know what you mean.
00:10:53.080 That's funny.
00:10:54.260 That's funny.
00:10:55.880 The biggest problem with a chick who smokes weed is like, they get so dependent.
00:11:02.660 Yes.
00:11:03.660 If you date a girl who's like, smokes weed, because I did in the past, I've dated a girl
00:11:08.200 for like, maybe, maybe it lasted like two weeks.
00:11:11.260 She was like a big weed smoker.
00:11:13.080 She couldn't go anywhere without a joint or a bong.
00:11:17.260 Like if she, if she was without it for like half a day.
00:11:20.660 She'll start bugging out.
00:11:22.000 Man, they go nuts.
00:11:22.900 It's like, they become hyper irritable, like super paranoid and annoying.
00:11:27.280 It's just like, calm down woman.
00:11:29.600 Like, dear God, you have a, you have a problem.
00:11:31.640 You're addicted to this thing and you don't even admit it.
00:11:34.520 Yeah.
00:11:34.860 Yeah.
00:11:35.240 They'll never admit that they're, they're hooked on it.
00:11:36.960 They'll never admit it.
00:11:37.560 Indulged.
00:11:38.120 So is it codependency?
00:11:39.500 Yeah.
00:11:39.740 Someone that has a codependency.
00:11:41.500 On marijuana.
00:11:42.500 Yeah.
00:11:42.680 Or anything.
00:11:43.260 So what if it's, yeah, what if it's another form of drug?
00:11:45.600 Advice.
00:11:46.400 Yeah.
00:11:46.820 I mean, any other form.
00:11:47.900 I'm not, if she does, just any other like hardcore drugs.
00:11:51.060 It's a no.
00:11:51.880 I mean, like.
00:11:52.340 For some people, if they don't have coffee, they might start doing exactly what you say.
00:11:55.300 Maybe.
00:11:55.680 I mean, I've never, I've never met someone who sits there and chain, chain drinks.
00:11:59.280 Like, don't coffee, like the caffeine.
00:12:00.600 I want more, I want more, I want more, I want more.
00:12:02.460 More coffee, more coffee.