JustPearlyThings - March 23, 2023


This Proves that Men Handle Criticism Better


Episode Stats


Length

16 minutes

Words per minute

212.33966

Word count

3,515

Sentence count

359

Harmful content

Misogyny

18

sentences flagged

Hate speech

20

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss when sex is a deal breaker in a relationship and what to do if you have not had sex with your partner in a month. We also talk about why sex can be a deal breaker and how to deal with it.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 So, how long, let's say, you haven't had sex with him in a month?
00:00:03.720 Is it acceptable for him to cheat?
00:00:05.640 No.
00:00:06.460 Like, at what point have you, like, not slept with your guy
00:00:10.080 where it's kind of understandable that he steps out?
00:00:12.080 Because we could agree, probably, that if you haven't slept with him in two years,
00:00:15.220 he's probably going to step out.
00:00:17.280 If my man don't sleep with me in a month, I think it's over.
00:00:19.880 I think it's over.
00:00:20.580 I think he's finished with me.
00:00:21.660 I've got a question, actually, off the back of that.
00:00:23.520 No, it's not you.
00:00:24.340 It's, like, you not sleeping with him.
00:00:25.800 Yeah, and all seriously, never.
00:00:27.180 No, I can't see it happening.
00:00:28.340 A guy has been deprived for that long.
00:00:30.520 Like, get to the point of saying, you've deprived me for this long.
00:00:32.920 I feel like I need it, and I'm going to get it.
00:00:36.320 Like, just talk to me.
00:00:38.740 Yeah, communication.
00:00:40.100 If he's addressed it to me and come to me and be like,
00:00:44.100 look, this is how I'm feeling, ret-a-te. 0.97
00:00:45.840 And I haven't tried, I think it's the same as an argument,
00:00:47.720 and I haven't tried to...
00:00:48.860 Resolve it.
00:00:49.460 Yeah, resolve it.
00:00:50.280 And then at that point, leave me.
00:00:51.700 But that's, I feel like sex society can be everything.
00:00:53.220 But it's not that simple for a lot of guys.
00:00:55.260 Because it's like, they lose custody of their kids.
00:00:58.420 No, I think, I know, I agree.
00:01:00.180 It's not that simple.
00:01:01.180 But if you want me to answer the question, black and white, no.
00:01:05.320 But in real life, everything's a little bit more complex than that.
00:01:09.040 So I get it.
00:01:09.840 There's exceptions with everything.
00:01:11.560 Well, yeah.
00:01:12.540 And honestly, I just feel like, even, like, me as a married person,
00:01:16.260 like, I've told my husband this before,
00:01:17.900 I don't feel like cheating is a deal breaker if...
00:01:23.460 I just don't feel like cheating is...
00:01:24.780 I feel like you can literally work through anything.
00:01:27.660 I really do.
00:01:28.780 But, like, just to answer your question, no.
00:01:32.620 No.
00:01:33.220 Yeah, but at least, like, two months.
00:01:35.860 Okay, two months.
00:01:36.500 Two months is...
00:01:37.560 Two months.
00:01:38.080 No, at least, like, some people will be like,
00:01:41.200 oh, we're having sex in two weeks.
00:01:43.240 I don't know.
00:01:43.860 Yeah, I was well saying, what should you do?
00:01:44.580 But in what aspect are we...
00:01:46.260 Okay, so why wouldn't you be having sex with him?
00:01:49.120 Sometimes...
00:01:49.640 Whatever the reason.
00:01:50.540 Yeah.
00:01:50.920 Am I allowed to ask questions?
00:01:51.940 Some girls... 1.00
00:01:52.340 Yeah, you can.
00:01:53.080 Yeah.
00:01:53.420 Some girls do it to, like, control the guy. 1.00
00:01:55.740 Oh, punish him.
00:01:57.100 Yeah.
00:01:58.000 Sadistic.
00:01:58.500 I think sometimes...
00:01:59.400 Again, remember, one in four marriages are sexless.
00:02:02.000 I mean, maybe she didn't marry the guy she wanted 0.88
00:02:04.320 and she's not really attracted to him anymore.
00:02:06.220 Yeah.
00:02:06.660 I mean, there's a million reasons.
00:02:07.860 I think if it started that way, then it's different.
00:02:10.500 If it's changed, like, throughout,
00:02:12.080 you need to look at what's changed it.
00:02:14.360 But sometimes it's also, like, where you are at mentally.
00:02:16.900 Yeah.
00:02:17.460 And if you're someone who, like, suffers from depression,
00:02:19.780 that can affect how you feel sexually.
00:02:22.920 Yeah.
00:02:23.020 And unfortunately...
00:02:23.540 I think depression is so weird.
00:02:24.960 And unfortunately...
00:02:26.020 Unfortunately, like, it's not personal to your partner,
00:02:31.160 but obviously it does affect your partner.
00:02:32.820 But you should be able to communicate clearly
00:02:35.680 why you're feeling like you're feeling
00:02:37.600 so that he doesn't feel iced out.
00:02:39.800 Because men will literally... 0.59
00:02:41.100 If you go to touch you and you're like,
00:02:43.020 oh, he's going to feel iced out.
00:02:44.800 And hopefully you have a compassionate partner.
00:02:47.380 I mean, I just don't know what you could tell him.
00:02:49.120 Like, baby, we're not going to have sex for three months,
00:02:51.500 but this is how I'm feeling.
00:02:52.880 Yes.
00:02:53.240 Can you understand?
00:02:54.960 Well, mine did.
00:02:55.780 I think foundationally what helps is if both people
00:02:59.300 in the relationship can agree that
00:03:01.340 if we haven't had sex in a while,
00:03:04.140 there's actually a problem.
00:03:05.580 Because one might not see it,
00:03:07.060 like, the woman that is withholding sex, 0.70
00:03:08.600 she might not see it as a problem.
00:03:09.540 But if we can agree that I don't feel...
00:03:13.420 I have not felt like having sex with you
00:03:15.320 for, like, over a week or two weeks,
00:03:18.420 she within herself should be able to say,
00:03:20.300 I may not know why,
00:03:21.820 but this is definitely a problem.
00:03:23.680 Subconsciously.
00:03:24.160 Yeah, but you always know why.
00:03:26.380 You just need to dig deep.
00:03:27.600 Like, I knew why.
00:03:28.780 And at first I was like,
00:03:29.920 oh, I'm not too sure.
00:03:31.280 And then I did.
00:03:31.960 And I told him, I was like, this is why.
00:03:33.840 And he was...
00:03:35.440 We have an open...
00:03:36.280 Not open relationship in terms of other people,
00:03:37.920 but in terms of, like, openly communicating.
00:03:40.340 I don't feel like...
00:03:41.880 No one should be having sex 0.98
00:03:42.920 if you can't talk about sex.
00:03:44.140 You certainly shouldn't be having...
00:03:46.120 Being in a relationship
00:03:46.720 if you can't talk about sex with your partner
00:03:47.900 and why you don't want to have sex 0.70
00:03:48.900 or what you like,
00:03:49.880 what you don't like, et cetera, et cetera.
00:03:51.460 And hopefully the person that you have
00:03:52.880 respect you as a human being
00:03:54.340 and says, okay,
00:03:55.620 I can see why you're going through that.
00:03:58.020 Like, do you know how long...
00:03:59.300 And if you can honestly say,
00:04:00.620 look, I don't know how I'm going to feel.
00:04:02.460 If that person then turns around and says,
00:04:04.400 well, da-da-da-da-da,
00:04:05.640 I feel like at least wait
00:04:06.980 a certain time period before you go,
00:04:09.560 okay, it's been a while.
00:04:11.360 Is anything changing?
00:04:12.460 No.
00:04:12.600 The woman should get proactive about it. 1.00
00:04:14.700 Can I just ask a question?
00:04:16.440 What is the longest
00:04:17.660 has any of us been without sex
00:04:20.520 in a relationship?
00:04:22.240 And who stopped it?
00:04:24.080 What's the longest you've been
00:04:25.420 in your relationship without sex?
00:04:27.500 So I...
00:04:29.560 Can I...
00:04:32.600 Yeah, there's an...
00:04:33.560 I just jumped in.
00:04:35.040 Sorry.
00:04:35.720 I don't know if anyone else...
00:04:36.940 Okay.
00:04:38.880 I don't...
00:04:39.520 So one of my exes was anorexic.
00:04:44.020 He had an eating disorder.
00:04:45.420 And I used to hate sleeping with him
00:04:49.120 because I could feel his hip bones
00:04:50.380 and it used to make me feel
00:04:51.680 uncomfortable.
00:04:54.240 It would hurt.
00:04:55.660 And it put me off.
00:04:57.540 And trying to help someone overcome that
00:05:00.300 and support them,
00:05:01.280 but also trying to be intimate with them
00:05:03.700 when you're not feeling it
00:05:04.720 because it physically hurts
00:05:05.840 is a hard thing to stay in.
00:05:08.340 So that was not a very sexy relationship.
00:05:13.280 So how long was it?
00:05:14.120 That was a year and a bit.
00:05:17.060 No, I mean, how long did you go without sex?
00:05:19.020 No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:05:20.200 Oh.
00:05:20.960 Because he started gaining...
00:05:23.080 I couldn't do that to myself.
00:05:26.280 Wait, so did you cheat on him?
00:05:27.700 No, I've never...
00:05:28.820 I've never...
00:05:29.620 I couldn't.
00:05:31.320 If I'm either in or I'm out,
00:05:33.700 I don't run around in grey areas.
00:05:35.260 I don't...
00:05:35.860 It's just not how I roll.
00:05:36.720 So for me,
00:05:38.720 that...
00:05:39.940 We weren't intimate for about a good...
00:05:42.620 It was like on and off
00:05:44.080 because some...
00:05:44.620 I'm trying to think.
00:05:46.100 Probably about a good four or five months.
00:05:47.940 But just to clarify...
00:05:48.640 Wait, you didn't have sex with him
00:05:50.000 for four or five months?
00:05:51.240 Yeah.
00:05:51.720 Wow.
00:05:51.940 And it's because you didn't want to.
00:05:53.480 Did he know the reason why?
00:05:55.760 I had to be honest in the end.
00:05:58.400 Do you think if the roles were reversed
00:06:00.240 that you would have taken that okay?
00:06:03.020 And you know what?
00:06:04.100 It's interesting you're saying that.
00:06:05.100 I called myself out on it today
00:06:06.400 because my friend said to me
00:06:07.880 that a guy she was with
00:06:09.240 made a comment about her weight
00:06:11.540 in the bedroom.
00:06:12.440 And it made me reflect and think,
00:06:14.640 God, I've done that to a guy.
00:06:17.560 And I thought,
00:06:18.680 who the hell am I to say that?
00:06:21.600 I felt bad.
00:06:23.220 But then he asked me why
00:06:24.740 and I don't lie.
00:06:26.040 You know,
00:06:26.340 I'm going to be honest with you
00:06:27.420 if we're in a relationship.
00:06:30.280 And...
00:06:31.080 How did he respond?
00:06:32.940 Yeah.
00:06:33.560 It was hard for him.
00:06:34.480 But then he actually got well.
00:06:36.320 Like, he started training in the gym.
00:06:37.820 He started eating properly.
00:06:39.000 We cooked together.
00:06:39.840 Like,
00:06:40.560 that's why I think
00:06:41.320 that I came into his life
00:06:42.360 to help him with that.
00:06:43.140 It's really interesting.
00:06:44.380 Like, the...
00:06:45.640 It seems like men 1.00
00:06:46.740 can accept criticism
00:06:48.000 a lot better than women 1.00
00:06:49.000 because...
00:06:49.480 Oh, Carl, you know that.
00:06:50.020 It was hard for him.
00:06:51.100 Don't get it wrong,
00:06:51.620 but he did really well.
00:06:52.060 I'm not being funny.
00:06:52.360 If you told up overweight women 1.00
00:06:53.560 that in the bedroom,
00:06:54.760 they're going to swing out.
00:06:55.260 How dare you do...
00:06:56.180 Guys, would you not get offended
00:06:57.420 if your man was picking something?
00:06:58.920 Especially in the bedroom?
00:07:00.060 Yeah.
00:07:00.620 Which is why
00:07:01.180 I felt really bad
00:07:02.280 when she told me that story
00:07:03.240 because it made me think,
00:07:04.020 you know what?
00:07:04.440 I did that to someone
00:07:05.520 and I didn't mean it
00:07:06.540 in a malicious way.
00:07:07.700 No.
00:07:08.080 Well, you should have told him
00:07:08.800 straight away.
00:07:09.160 Because he asked me the question.
00:07:09.980 He asked me the trick.
00:07:10.940 He said,
00:07:11.300 tell me.
00:07:12.100 I don't really felt like...
00:07:12.960 I feel like...
00:07:13.860 I mean, I just think
00:07:14.820 four or five...
00:07:15.520 That's a long time to not.
00:07:16.620 I didn't just come out with it
00:07:17.980 in a very blunt way.
00:07:19.200 I was diplomatic.
00:07:20.440 Yeah, but I don't think
00:07:21.340 you needed to wait
00:07:22.920 four or five months.
00:07:25.380 You just...
00:07:26.300 You don't have to hear
00:07:29.360 people talking about it.
00:07:30.020 I know, if I'm going to be
00:07:31.100 really honest,
00:07:32.000 it spiritually attacked me as well.
00:07:33.780 It didn't just get me physically.
00:07:35.560 It made me feel...
00:07:37.180 I'm the kind of person
00:07:38.280 when I'm involved with someone,
00:07:39.600 I take on everything.
00:07:40.900 Like their emotions,
00:07:41.940 their aura.
00:07:42.460 Like I feel.
00:07:44.120 So...
00:07:44.600 I just want to ask.
00:07:46.260 So was you not attracted
00:07:48.360 to him anymore
00:07:48.960 because of that?
00:07:49.760 But when you got together,
00:07:50.780 you said this is what
00:07:51.620 he was like.
00:07:53.260 So surely you would know.
00:07:54.600 I was attracted to him.
00:07:56.160 It was painful
00:07:56.960 to have sex with him. 0.95
00:07:58.360 Oh.
00:07:58.860 Because of his hip bones.
00:08:00.140 Sorry, I thought you said
00:08:01.140 you wasn't finding it
00:08:02.260 attractive.
00:08:03.160 Sorry, okay.
00:08:03.860 It's also the...
00:08:05.040 It wasn't sexy.
00:08:06.020 Yeah.
00:08:06.960 So what's the longest?
00:08:08.180 I'm waiting to hear
00:08:08.800 from everybody else.
00:08:09.700 Five months?
00:08:10.840 No, I mean each person.
00:08:12.440 What's the longest?
00:08:13.060 Each person is...
00:08:13.960 No, no, two days.
00:08:15.200 My husband is watching.
00:08:16.820 Like not even 48 hours.
00:08:20.100 Yeah, like two days.
00:08:22.020 No, that's what I meant
00:08:22.780 because if you're in a relationship,
00:08:26.640 I can't see myself
00:08:28.160 going five months.
00:08:28.620 Do you know what?
00:08:29.080 Yeah, it depends on the person.
00:08:30.060 I think if you start...
00:08:31.080 No, I think if you still are close.
00:08:33.020 Me personally,
00:08:33.680 after a couple of days,
00:08:34.460 I'm like, what's wrong?
00:08:35.420 Yeah, yeah, me too.
00:08:36.400 After a couple of days.
00:08:37.200 Just walk it out.
00:08:37.820 Intimacy is a big part
00:08:38.800 of a relationship for me.
00:08:39.760 I think it's easier
00:08:41.000 to go longer
00:08:41.620 when you're not living together.
00:08:42.920 Like, me and my partner
00:08:44.720 wasn't living together
00:08:45.660 so that's why
00:08:47.400 it probably had that time.
00:08:51.100 But if we were living together,
00:08:53.140 I 100% believe
00:08:54.560 it would have been sooner.
00:08:55.680 Yeah.
00:08:56.320 So can I answer your question though?
00:08:57.860 You know when you said,
00:08:58.520 oh, if your man
00:08:59.400 commented on your body
00:09:00.940 in the bedroom,
00:09:01.560 wouldn't you be offended?
00:09:02.280 I wouldn't.
00:09:04.340 Oh no.
00:09:04.640 I mean, I wouldn't.
00:09:06.420 Like, I just...
00:09:07.240 Do something about it.
00:09:08.320 It depends on what they say though
00:09:10.180 and how they say it.
00:09:11.260 And I think it's also
00:09:12.160 the heart behind it as well.
00:09:13.620 Well, no,
00:09:14.460 yours as well as the heart.
00:09:16.360 Oh, sorry.
00:09:17.120 You're okay.
00:09:18.100 As well as the heart
00:09:19.120 because I trust my husband.
00:09:21.260 So anything that he says,
00:09:22.340 I know it's not
00:09:23.100 like malicious,
00:09:24.660 but also
00:09:25.140 my husband is a bit
00:09:27.060 of an enemy
00:09:27.700 of my progress
00:09:29.080 because I want to lose weight
00:09:30.920 and he's very like,
00:09:31.740 oh, well, you look amazing.
00:09:33.100 But sometimes I just feel like
00:09:34.400 if your partner says,
00:09:35.840 oh yeah, I'd love
00:09:36.460 if you like toned up,
00:09:37.380 it gives you that extra motivation
00:09:38.640 to go tone up.
00:09:39.600 Do you know what I mean?
00:09:40.140 I think there's a way
00:09:41.080 of going around it.
00:09:42.140 So it's not like,
00:09:42.800 oh, when we was doing this
00:09:45.740 and I felt this,
00:09:46.720 there's ways around it.
00:09:49.220 Now my mama just say, 1.00
00:09:50.300 you're fat,
00:09:50.700 you've got a bloody do's 0.90
00:09:51.600 think about it.
00:09:53.040 I was just going to
00:09:53.640 straight up.
00:09:54.320 Yeah, I just think...
00:09:55.340 We've got that kind of
00:09:56.020 straightforward relationship.
00:09:56.840 Yeah, we've got
00:09:57.560 a straightforward relationship.
00:09:58.600 I was just going to say,
00:09:59.420 I think it's all down
00:10:00.280 to approach how things are said.
00:10:02.820 I agree with you.
00:10:03.820 Because if, let's say,
00:10:05.020 you're getting busy
00:10:06.340 with your guy
00:10:06.940 and then you're saying,
00:10:07.380 oh, you're a bit heavy today,
00:10:08.840 excuse me.
00:10:09.900 Why are you saying it like that?
00:10:11.000 Well, handle my heaviness
00:10:12.040 and get stronger then.
00:10:13.620 It's just the way...
00:10:14.820 I wouldn't start.
00:10:15.200 That is not funny.
00:10:16.280 Imagine you're in the moment
00:10:17.480 and all of a sudden,
00:10:18.360 you're a bit heavy today.
00:10:19.160 You're getting up your game.
00:10:21.000 Sorry, what did you say?
00:10:22.320 No, I was just saying,
00:10:23.040 like, if, let's say,
00:10:24.360 you're in the moment,
00:10:25.480 you know,
00:10:26.020 your mind's in a different universe
00:10:27.340 and then all of a sudden,
00:10:28.140 you hear a silly comment like,
00:10:29.300 you're a bit heavy today.
00:10:30.460 You're just...
00:10:31.060 I just had dinner.
00:10:33.780 You're paused and...
00:10:34.540 I think, I think because...
00:10:35.780 I mean, is it true?
00:10:37.420 I mean...
00:10:38.340 I'm asking him,
00:10:39.220 like, if he says it,
00:10:39.960 is it true?
00:10:42.040 Like, what does it matter
00:10:42.880 how he says it?
00:10:43.580 If it's true, it's true.
00:10:44.740 He's not saying you're ugly,
00:10:45.800 you know, I hate you.
00:10:46.340 That's really in the moment.
00:10:47.340 I don't think that matters
00:10:48.200 if it's true.
00:10:48.680 I think it's good to date guys
00:10:50.300 who like your body type.
00:10:51.080 Because he can feel the way
00:10:52.000 they've been in the position.
00:10:53.280 Yes, yes, I agree with that.
00:10:54.860 I said, I think it's important
00:10:55.920 that you date guys
00:10:56.860 that like your body type.
00:10:57.900 But your body type can change.
00:10:59.600 Oh, God, yeah.
00:11:00.860 I didn't look like this
00:11:02.020 a couple of babies ago.
00:11:04.220 I mean...
00:11:05.120 You've grown together
00:11:06.020 as a couple, though.
00:11:07.300 Yeah, so,
00:11:08.540 by what she said,
00:11:09.900 like,
00:11:10.400 he met me one way,
00:11:11.640 he could be like,
00:11:12.300 oh, but I want you to go back
00:11:13.960 and go back to that way.
00:11:14.960 But you could lose weight.
00:11:15.840 He doesn't care,
00:11:18.440 but I'm saying if he cared,
00:11:20.260 I probably would be
00:11:21.220 more motivated
00:11:21.960 to lose weight quicker.
00:11:23.140 That's what I mean.
00:11:23.700 It wouldn't just be like
00:11:24.720 my internal,
00:11:25.760 I want to lose weight.
00:11:26.800 But he's like,
00:11:27.580 you know,
00:11:28.760 can you buy me a chocolate?
00:11:29.720 Then he'll buy me like a duo.
00:11:31.080 But that's just...
00:11:31.660 It's not helpful.
00:11:31.860 But that's just you.
00:11:32.760 There are a lot of men
00:11:33.660 who still expect their women to, 1.00
00:11:35.580 even if she doesn't look exactly
00:11:37.040 like how they met before kids,
00:11:38.820 they still expect their women 1.00
00:11:39.820 to look somewhat the same.
00:11:41.800 Yeah, my man's one of them.
00:11:42.640 So luckily,
00:11:44.000 your man's like,
00:11:44.800 you know,
00:11:45.060 we can eat chocolate together
00:11:46.260 or whatever.
00:11:47.120 But there are a lot of men
00:11:48.280 that are like,
00:11:49.160 she's just,
00:11:50.040 you know,
00:11:50.220 and there are a lot of women 1.00
00:11:51.020 that feel offended by it
00:11:53.500 because it's like,
00:11:54.260 oh, well,
00:11:54.460 I've pushed out this baby.
00:11:55.560 But like...
00:11:55.880 Well, I just think sometimes
00:11:56.940 men feel like they can't say 0.94
00:11:58.400 things that are true to us.
00:11:59.840 And like,
00:12:00.180 we want them to communicate
00:12:01.180 it in a feminine way.
00:12:02.440 Yeah.
00:12:02.760 And they're not women. 1.00
00:12:05.340 So when you say like,
00:12:06.440 it's how you say it,
00:12:07.360 it's very confusing to guys
00:12:08.680 because they're like,
00:12:09.260 well,
00:12:09.680 it's true.
00:12:10.740 I think men are required 1.00
00:12:14.720 to be gentle with women
00:12:17.520 because we are not like them.
00:12:19.280 So I think in the same way
00:12:20.360 we should not expect men 1.00
00:12:21.580 to deliver
00:12:22.100 in a way that a female would, 0.89
00:12:24.720 they need to recognize
00:12:25.660 that they're not speaking
00:12:26.440 to a male.
00:12:27.520 So yes,
00:12:28.680 I feel like men should be able
00:12:30.180 to be truthful,
00:12:31.400 but they should do it gently
00:12:33.880 because they're speaking
00:12:34.940 to someone gentle.
00:12:36.600 I just think that women 1.00
00:12:38.100 need to grow a backbone
00:12:39.100 and stop making excuses
00:12:40.600 because if you're fat,
00:12:41.560 you're fat. 0.72
00:12:42.040 If you've got to put on weight,
00:12:42.900 you've got to put on weight.
00:12:43.580 My man told me
00:12:44.120 I was four pound overweight.
00:12:45.660 I lost four pound.
00:12:46.980 He says,
00:12:47.360 same thing like what she said.
00:12:48.640 He goes,
00:12:48.940 hang on a minute,
00:12:49.340 what's all that hanging about?
00:12:50.040 You're putting a bit of weight in you?
00:12:51.280 A bit of heavy?
00:12:52.180 And I was like,
00:12:52.700 yeah, you're right.
00:12:54.460 You felt like that though.
00:12:55.620 But what I'm trying to say
00:12:57.100 is that it all depends
00:12:57.780 on your relationship
00:12:58.520 and how you talk to each other
00:12:59.620 because we're just quite
00:13:00.580 straightforward and blunt
00:13:02.180 to the point where people are,
00:13:03.120 oh my God,
00:13:03.680 did he really say that?
00:13:04.480 I'm like,
00:13:04.960 yeah, it's true.
00:13:05.920 And I'll tell him,
00:13:06.800 yes, look at your big head.
00:13:08.360 You know?
00:13:09.220 To your comment,
00:13:09.940 it was like,
00:13:10.700 because you said,
00:13:11.400 but did you feel like that?
00:13:12.460 So let's say the woman disagreed
00:13:14.480 and then he's like,
00:13:15.620 okay,
00:13:15.820 but I want you to,
00:13:16.920 you know,
00:13:17.180 like get fit.
00:13:18.240 And she's like,
00:13:19.000 no,
00:13:19.180 I don't really feel like I need you.
00:13:20.300 If he then stepped out,
00:13:21.340 are you saying that's like wrong
00:13:22.820 or like his eyes
00:13:24.960 are not going to wander?
00:13:26.000 I mean,
00:13:26.360 yes,
00:13:26.780 sit down and work it out.
00:13:28.280 Like,
00:13:28.560 but he has,
00:13:29.540 he's like,
00:13:29.800 he's telling me like,
00:13:30.760 babe, 0.51
00:13:30.960 please go to the gym.
00:13:31.640 You've asked something
00:13:32.420 and I,
00:13:33.120 and I've said,
00:13:33.820 no,
00:13:33.960 I don't feel like it.
00:13:35.200 Your resolve can't be,
00:13:36.880 then I'm just going to step out.
00:13:38.320 If like,
00:13:39.140 if there's a resolve
00:13:39.960 that goes beyond us,
00:13:41.400 continue in this conversation
00:13:42.860 until we're both like,
00:13:44.960 not satisfied,
00:13:45.680 but there is some kind
00:13:46.760 of middle ground here.
00:13:47.980 But what's the middle ground?
00:13:49.340 Leave me.
00:13:50.180 But I,
00:13:50.600 again,
00:13:50.820 I think that's a lot of guys
00:13:52.120 feel trapped in marriages
00:13:53.160 because they don't want their kid.
00:13:54.300 They don't want to put their kid
00:13:55.100 at every statistical disadvantage
00:13:56.620 they possibly could.
00:13:58.040 So it's like,
00:13:58.840 if they step,
00:13:59.520 this is just how they see it.
00:14:00.700 It's like,
00:14:00.920 if they step out
00:14:01.640 and you never find out
00:14:02.860 because you're not doing
00:14:04.420 the things that they ask them to do,
00:14:05.900 they,
00:14:06.120 a lot of times guys
00:14:07.000 feel like it's justified.
00:14:08.360 No,
00:14:08.460 I know,
00:14:08.840 I know someone that said
00:14:09.820 because he has a child,
00:14:11.420 he will never leave
00:14:12.740 the,
00:14:13.140 he's child's mom.
00:14:15.080 But if he's unhappy,
00:14:16.200 he will go about his business
00:14:17.580 behind her back,
00:14:18.360 but he will never leave her.
00:14:19.480 And I said to him,
00:14:20.500 leave her. 1.00
00:14:21.140 He said,
00:14:21.520 never because my son's there
00:14:22.960 and I don't want him,
00:14:24.720 not,
00:14:24.940 not because he fears
00:14:26.120 that she would keep him
00:14:27.160 away from him.
00:14:29.100 It's because he doesn't want
00:14:30.660 his son to grow up
00:14:31.980 outside of mom and dad
00:14:33.620 lives here.
00:14:34.380 But together,
00:14:34.960 they're happy.
00:14:35.640 The son sees happy parents.
00:14:37.240 I don't know.
00:14:38.200 Oh,
00:14:38.420 because if they did,
00:14:39.180 I think good on him.
00:14:40.280 Yeah.
00:14:40.920 Yeah.
00:14:42.120 What for cheating
00:14:42.880 and staying?
00:14:43.980 Yeah.
00:14:44.340 Yeah.
00:14:44.800 Okay.
00:14:46.140 I think there should be
00:14:47.440 some kind of mutual agreement
00:14:48.660 between the two parents
00:14:50.440 if that's the case,
00:14:51.280 if they're not happy.
00:14:53.000 No,
00:14:53.300 him.
00:14:53.780 He said him.
00:14:54.320 But what she don't know
00:14:55.240 don't hurt her,
00:14:55.780 innit?
00:14:56.340 Oh,
00:14:56.800 no.
00:14:57.860 No.
00:14:58.500 You don't think so?
00:14:59.280 No,
00:14:59.420 because she can get infected 1.00
00:15:00.580 by what she doesn't know
00:15:01.860 might hurt her.
00:15:02.300 That's an extreme,
00:15:03.320 yeah.
00:15:03.740 If he cares so much
00:15:05.540 about his child,
00:15:06.320 he's going to care so much
00:15:07.100 about his wife's vagina. 0.99
00:15:08.460 You don't know that.
00:15:09.560 Because he cares about his child.
00:15:10.820 Yeah,
00:15:11.080 he's cheating.
00:15:11.540 He's staying.
00:15:12.140 That's his standard.
00:15:12.960 He's staying because of his child.
00:15:14.660 He could leave.
00:15:16.000 So because his standards
00:15:16.740 are so high,
00:15:17.740 he's not going to go out
00:15:18.760 and cheat
00:15:19.600 and get something.
00:15:21.380 He's going to be extremely careful
00:15:22.560 because he's careful anyway.
00:15:23.460 That's why he's staying there.
00:15:25.520 I don't agree.
00:15:27.400 Do you guys believe
00:15:28.300 a man can love you
00:15:29.140 but still cheat?
00:15:30.060 Yes.
00:15:30.740 Yeah.
00:15:31.740 I do.
00:15:32.580 Yeah.
00:15:33.000 I really do.
00:15:34.000 What would you like
00:15:34.900 long-term cheating
00:15:36.160 or do you be like,
00:15:36.920 oh,
00:15:37.260 I've slept with this person
00:15:38.460 and I've realised
00:15:39.540 I was wrong?
00:15:40.380 I think sometimes
00:15:41.180 they just fall under
00:15:42.360 some stripper, 0.99
00:15:43.260 you know?
00:15:43.480 Yeah.
00:15:43.800 But not long-term cheating.
00:15:47.140 I have a friend
00:15:48.080 and he reckons
00:15:49.980 all men cheat 0.78
00:15:50.980 in a certain type of way.
00:15:52.760 He said,
00:15:53.140 my friend,
00:15:53.740 he's married,
00:15:54.680 he calls it like
00:15:55.300 a transfer window,
00:15:56.100 like a window.
00:15:56.700 He said,
00:15:56.960 I have my window,
00:15:57.860 I do what I do
00:15:59.120 and then,
00:15:59.980 you know what,
00:16:00.480 I go back,
00:16:01.080 I'm a good dad,
00:16:01.840 I'm a good husband
00:16:02.520 but that's it.
00:16:03.060 But when that window opens,
00:16:04.460 it's open
00:16:04.920 and when it's shut,
00:16:05.680 it's shut.
00:16:06.380 I don't think all men cheat.
00:16:08.020 Neither do I.
00:16:08.880 I'm so sorry.
00:16:09.600 And I refuse.
00:16:11.400 Mama, don't cheat. 1.00
00:16:12.420 I don't think all men cheat.
00:16:13.700 I do think they can
00:16:14.860 sleep with someone else
00:16:15.980 and still love you.
00:16:17.300 Love you and care about something.
00:16:18.100 I was just banned on TikTok
00:16:20.140 and we are demonetized
00:16:21.860 on a daily basis
00:16:23.080 on this platform.
00:16:25.180 If you want to help,
00:16:26.400 please consider sending
00:16:27.520 a super thanks below.
00:16:29.440 Every donation helps
00:16:30.760 and it helps make
00:16:31.580 what we do possible.