This Trad Wife IMPRESSED Men When She Said She will Give up Everything for Men
Episode Stats
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Summary
In this episode, we discuss what it means to be a high value man and what we should look for in a man. We are joined by a very special guest, Pearl, who shares her perspective on the topic.
Transcript
00:00:10.000
So, a lot to sacrifice because I'm a person of faith.
00:00:17.000
So there's a lot of me on the line for me to give up.
00:00:28.000
So, you know, in the Christian faith, you wait until marriage.
00:00:34.000
So, I'm willing to wait for that man, that high value man.
00:00:43.000
Okay, so you would give up waiting for marriage?
00:00:46.000
Or like not give, you would like have him wait?
00:00:59.000
I would never give up this for any high value man.
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I never thought I would disclose this so publicly, but yeah.
00:01:17.000
Would you give up, let's say like social media?
00:01:28.000
I think, I think in that culture is that's what they have to do.
00:01:32.000
So, I think when she has to do certain things that they have to give up social media, they
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So, I think when you say, would you give up a high end man, then we have to look at it
00:01:48.000
prospectively above board as how would we do that of women of different cultures?
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So, her culture, they wouldn't be able to do that.
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But, yeah, I grew up in a Sudanese Arabic culture, which is very strict.
00:02:11.000
So, I did get influenced from here as well, not just from my background.
00:02:14.000
But, in terms of, I think it's not, it's high value men, we were speaking about this earlier,
00:02:21.000
Pearl, and I would love to have your perspective as well.
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How do you define a high value man and how do you define a modern woman?
00:02:27.000
Because the way I define a high value man may be very different than you define it and
00:02:34.000
So, the way I define a high value man is somebody who is faith driven, who is respectable,
00:02:44.000
So, it's values, but it's also, he definitely has to have a job, for sure, make money.
00:02:50.000
But, there's other aspects that I look for in high value men.
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For me to give up something, anything, what does he bring to the table as well?
00:02:59.000
Well, so, I would define high value men as the men that women pick.
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So, like, the men that women routinely go after and choose.
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And, Kevin Samuels actually is the one who coined that term.
00:03:10.000
So, he laid it out, it's 10k per month, he has to have had that for three to five years.
00:03:17.000
Other men must accept him as high value, he has to have a network of high value men,
00:03:22.000
he has to be linked in visibility level, and he must be useful to others in the group.
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No, but we have to take into account different cultures, different people's lifestyles, how his is his lifestyle.
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That's not my lifestyle, that's not her lifestyle, that's not his or his, or different cultures.
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So, we can have a statistic that says that, but you can't truly say that.
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And I think we need to be open when we ask that question, because we live in a very diverse world right now.
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I can't truly say that, because women only swipe right five percent of the time on dating apps,
00:04:05.000
Well, I don't go on a dating app, and I would never pick my men on a dating app.
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I mean, if you, even at a bar, you see women approach or, like, go after the same type of guys.
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How would you know that unless you ask that person that was going into the bar?
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There's different studies that talk about this.
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It's pretty cut and dry on, like, Tinder, Bumble, like, there's so many dating...
00:04:39.000
Wait, wait, I'm trying to answer your question.
00:04:41.000
So, and even if you go off of dating apps, like, I do it on the show,
00:04:44.000
where we could go through you guys one by one and put out what you want in a guy,
00:04:51.000
So, you're assuming that I want in a guy X, Y, and Z.
00:05:06.000
Well, then I probably may have looked at it, but I don't average.
00:05:09.000
We're coming away from the topic of what people would give up.
00:05:21.000
But average to me is going to be different to what Alex thinks is average
00:05:30.000
Like, statistically, there is an average of, like, in general...
00:05:40.000
If you look at the statistics, what Paul will say, like, from the dating apps...
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Are you asking about the women or are you asking about the high-value men?
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So, if I said to you, I looked at statistically a thousand men and they said to me, this is what they would prefer.
00:05:54.000
Are you going to prefer my report or are you going to prefer somebody that's going to say to you, well, you know what?
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This is what I've done and this is what I've looked at and this is what I've found.
00:06:03.000
I would probably go by experience and studies, which are usually pretty similar.
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Like, if I put up Lizzo, most guys will probably pass.
00:06:20.000
Over, over, oversized women are coming back right now and I probably...
00:06:28.000
Well, for a man, maybe not you, but for a lot of men she does.
00:06:35.000
And we're sat here laughing and we're sat here laughing and like, do you know the percentage of the population about how many women are oversized?
00:06:52.000
Well, listen, I work in medicine and weight and stuff and I see a lot more oversized women.
00:06:58.000
And if you see the adverts that we see on TV from Marks and Spencer, Tescos, a lot of them now are promoting...
00:07:05.000
That doesn't mean that they're the women that men desire.
00:07:08.000
Okay, so are you guys sat here underweight with a six ab?
00:07:21.000
Because if you're commenting on oversized women...
00:07:24.000
You're trying to decide for men what they like.
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You don't think you should discriminate in who you date?
00:07:37.000
I don't think you should discriminate against anybody.
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There's some crackheads down the street I can set you up with.
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And I think you decide you want to choose who you want to date.
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Well, you just discriminated everyone right now.
00:08:15.000
But that was not the subject about the size of women at all.
00:08:18.000
Yeah, we're talking about what a man or a woman would give up for the man or woman in their life.
00:08:23.000
Do you think you and Lizzo have an equally attractive body?
00:08:31.000
You've ultimately just discriminated yourself from her.
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I mean, I don't think it takes much to be fair.
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When we talk about colour against white and black and black lives matter, do we not discriminate?
00:08:53.000
Or does it now suit you better because we're now talking about size?
00:09:06.000
Being overweight is healthy because it looks good and that...
00:09:18.000
The slimmest person who you would think would look the healthiest could have the unhealthiest lifestyle.
00:09:26.000
And she might just have a percentage of body fat because she just eats differently.
00:09:32.000
Did you know that obesity drops after like the age of 65?
00:09:51.000
Anyway, can I say I would not give up football.
00:10:03.000
My partner's cousin is a top cardiologist in El Paso.
00:10:06.000
So he'll tell you with what pressure weight just does on your heart.
00:10:11.000
And if we want to go down that road, let's talk about medicine.
00:10:13.000
We'll talk about in a real world, not just on anybody's facts and show.
00:10:23.000
I'm a personal trainer, so I've been in fitness industry for 15 years.
00:10:27.000
And most of my clients are moms after having a baby and they're overweight.
00:10:34.000
I'm a health coach, so I always talk about that.
00:10:36.000
But the only thing is they are very upset about their weight
00:10:40.000
because they think most of them are single because they're overweight
00:10:44.000
and they just want to lose weight because of, you know, they want to look good.
00:10:47.000
They want to look confident and therefore they want to find a good looking guy.
00:10:52.000
So I don't think there is any problem when we talk about, you know,
00:10:57.000
people with, you know, overweight people because they are actually...
00:11:03.000
They love to talk about it because they think because of social media,
00:11:06.000
because of let's say even Victoria's Secret right now having like overweight,
00:11:13.000
And I love it because I feel like now it's all the women around the world
00:11:18.000
with any size, any color, any shape, they can, you know, be seen.
00:11:30.000
Because I want to be inspired when I see a model.
00:11:32.000
I don't want someone that like is bigger than me.
00:11:38.000
But imagine if I was overweight, I mean, I used to think like you.
00:11:42.000
I used to think, oh, but I think we need to be inspired.
00:11:45.000
Like as a personal trainer, I had a colleague who was very overweight
00:11:49.000
and I was always thinking I didn't want to be mean and say,
00:11:59.000
You are very like you have a percentage of fat that is not acceptable.
00:12:07.000
Maybe I'm getting older with lots of experiences.
00:12:11.000
You can't assume people, you can't stereotype them.
00:12:19.000
I can't believe we're going back into like the 60s and 70s.
00:12:29.000
So you don't understand about genetics, health weight, how the body.
00:12:34.000
Well, if you did, then you wouldn't have made that comment.
00:12:37.000
I still make that comment because nothing's impossible.
00:12:39.000
You can't because then you have to look at what are your genetics.
00:12:42.000
And you need to go to these women that can't do that and ask them the real ones.
00:12:51.000
No, have you asked these women that can't lose weight?
00:12:59.000
That's like saying it's not possible for someone to be healthy.
00:13:06.000
So in our room, who we're sat with now, who do you think is the unhealthiest?
00:13:15.000
I thought you said a minute ago, it doesn't necessarily come down to how they look.
00:13:20.000
Someone that could be slim or could be unhealthier.
00:13:24.000
You just said that all people that are overweight, that you can...
00:13:31.000
You know what I'm going to say to you people out there?
00:13:33.000
All of you who are overweight, come to her and let her train you and show you,
00:13:38.000
regardless of your ages, regardless of your sizes.
00:14:01.000
I don't know how you can stereotype against social media.
00:14:11.000
And when they say not Lizzo, you say you're stereotyping.
00:14:27.000
So first of all, what does that have to do with anything?
00:14:30.000
So I don't need to rely if he's broke, if he's nothing or if he's that.
00:14:47.000
And if that's wrong, then a lot of women are wrong.
00:14:51.000
But what you define as being treated right will vary because of the story of life that you're used to.
00:14:56.000
If you go on Netflix right now, there's this program called Rich Life or whatever.
00:15:05.000
She's being cussed because she just cussed her husband because he stays at home and looks after the kids.
00:15:13.000
A lot of women stay at home and look after the kids.
00:15:20.000
And when you do, then we can probably make a decision.
00:15:41.000
What I'm saying to you is when we're looking at...
00:15:46.000
I'm not even going to go down the road with you.
00:15:50.000
Let's hear the men and see what they actually...
00:15:51.000
It was so funny because when I was getting married...
00:15:54.000
When I was getting married about when I was 22, the first two things I said to my mom,
00:16:00.000
the guy I'm going to be married to, first of all, it shouldn't be short, fat and bold.
00:16:07.000
And I got married to the same person who was short, who was fat and who was bold.
00:16:13.000
And I got divorced after three years, obviously.
00:16:20.000
I think everyone is allowed to choose whether they want to be with someone tall.
00:16:25.000
Obviously, I love to be with a man who is tall, good looking.
00:16:30.000
But we all know that women prefer men with good jobs.
00:16:33.000
We all know that women prefer men that are tall.
00:16:55.000
I'm not going to keep you happy because it's your show.
00:17:28.000
I'm just saying, if you had to pick one of the two.
00:17:37.000
They're not offended right now because you're on your show, but they'll be offended when
00:17:47.000
I'm not going to wear this so that I won't be offended.
00:17:49.000
Why wouldn't you want us to answer her questions?
00:18:03.000
If he's over six foot, are you going to be interested?
00:18:20.000
He doesn't want to because he wants to try and play games.
00:18:22.000
She'll ask you a question, but you don't want to answer it.
00:18:39.000
I said, would you date a guy that was 5'6", if you had to pick?
00:18:48.000
If you're not going to answer the questions, you can go.
00:19:11.000
Would you rather have a guy that's unemployed, on benefits, or a guy with a job?
00:19:32.000
Would you rather have a girl that was 300 pounds or 120 pounds?
00:19:46.000
Because we all agree that you have to make sacrifices in relationships, right?
00:19:48.000
So what sacrifices are you willing to make in a relationship?
00:19:55.000
And we were talking about if we see ourselves as modern women and independent women.
00:20:00.000
I used to think I was a Miss Independent, modern woman.
00:20:05.000
But the recent years, I've made a transition and I never thought I would give up my career.
00:20:14.000
You know, just like being in a higher position.
00:20:17.000
I was looking when I was younger, I was always looking for status.
00:20:20.000
I was looking to go up the career ladder, making money.
00:20:25.000
I think now I'm getting older and I'm like, hey, have I been wasting some years?
00:20:37.000
But if I were to go back and do some things different, I would.
00:20:40.000
But I don't regret it because that has added to my experience now.
00:20:45.000
Well, don't listen to songs like Neo, Miss Independent, first of all.
00:20:53.000
And I think it's like this music culture and yeah, society.
00:20:56.000
So I would have gone back and gone, spoke to my aunties more, spoke to my mom more from Sudan, the traditions.
00:21:08.000
And I would have, I wanted to rebel against that when I was younger.
00:21:13.000
Now I made that transition and I'm thinking, I'm not that independent woman.
00:21:17.000
I don't want to be an independent woman anymore.
00:21:20.000
So I would, if it's the right man, I believe that the right man, we have aligned visions and missions.
00:21:27.000
So I'm willing to give up everything I had in my career to go for what God has put us together as a mission together.
00:21:38.000
So you would give up your career for a family, say?
00:21:44.000
So one thing you said, you said you don't regret it.
00:21:49.000
If I were to go back, I would do some things different, but I am grateful for where I am at right now.
00:21:58.000
I can teach her those things so she doesn't go the road that I went to.
00:22:03.000
I just never understand when women say they don't regret it, if they would change it.
00:22:12.000
I've heard girls say that and it doesn't compute to me.
00:22:15.000
Because me, if I would change something, then I regret a certain decision.
00:22:20.000
If you don't like the outcome, don't you regret it?
00:22:28.000
Again, like, I'm not going to apologize for it.
00:22:31.000
I'm very faith-driven, so I speak from that perspective.
00:22:39.000
And I don't believe that we're meant to live with regret.
00:22:45.000
I was feeling those regrets and I was feeling those, oh, I shouldn't have done.
00:22:49.000
But then, because I'm safe now, because I have a different life now,
00:23:01.000
And why would that be comfortable for anybody to live with regret?
00:23:11.000
But to me, like, when I hear that, it just sounds like the same thing.
00:23:16.000
Because if I would change something, then I regret it.
00:23:18.000
Well, regret, if you're living in regret, it's like you're holding on to something.
00:23:21.000
Then you can't, at the same time, be grateful for who you are now, what you've got.
00:23:25.000
Oh, so it's kind of like just not living in, like, the shame of the decision.
00:23:34.000
Yeah, she was saying it's what she's learned from it.
00:23:39.000
If I didn't go through this path, I wouldn't even know.
00:23:42.000
No, I mean, I could absolutely look at certain decisions that I've learned from and be like, well, I regret it.
00:23:55.000
There are certain things that, yeah, I wish I did not do that.
00:24:01.000
So, yeah, so you mentioned you went from being more modern to being more traditional.
00:24:05.000
What did you do specifically to make that change?
00:24:10.000
Yeah, so when I came here, when I went to Germany, I lived in Germany most of my life.
00:24:25.000
So I was more around people who were living a very modern life.
00:24:30.000
And just a lot of my friends were single parents.
00:24:40.000
So you didn't surround yourself with modern people?
00:24:45.000
No, I'm saying now you chose to switch it to more traditional.
00:24:49.000
Now I can understand why they're living this way.
00:24:53.000
And why I rebelled against my roots and who I came from.
00:24:58.000
But I made that transition because I saw this freedom.
00:25:10.000
Could it be because you moved from your country to a more Western and more free country?
00:25:26.000
How old were you when you came to the UK from Germany?
00:25:40.000
So I still don't understand what you did to become more traditional.
00:25:49.000
So I had examples and I didn't see successful marriages.
00:25:55.000
So then I started to surround myself around Christian communities when I became a person of
00:26:05.000
So as a result, I started to see successful, healthy marriages.
00:26:11.000
That's why I didn't even have the desire to be married.
00:26:14.000
I thought you said your parents and your grandparents were married.
00:26:30.000
Their values are amazing when, when hard times hit.
00:26:37.000
But when I, I, I started to surround myself in the right environments and I started to
00:26:42.000
see that I can have healthy relationships and healthy marriages and yeah, with the right
00:26:48.000
So that has changed surrounding myself with the right people who I can see an example.
00:26:52.000
All I needed was just an example and role models and I didn't see it.
00:26:57.000
So this, it still doesn't make sense to me and I hear this a lot.
00:27:01.000
So it's not just you, but like when I hear girls talk about how they were modern and
00:27:06.000
Like, I don't hear anything that you actually did.
00:27:07.000
Like I hear that I surrounded, I got baptized, which is great.
00:27:12.000
And, and, and like that you surrounded yourself with people that were married, but it's like,
00:27:21.000
So I was just wondering like what specifically you did to become, because if, if women want
00:27:25.000
to know you were modern before, then you became traditional.
00:27:30.000
Well, there's for something new to come in, the old has to go.
00:27:38.000
So because you said you, you, you know, of faith, right?
00:27:45.000
So when the Holy Spirit convicts someone on something, when, you know, you have a conviction,
00:28:01.000
The person like, I remember the day, this was crazy.
00:28:10.000
I was dating an atheist guy and I, I was like, yeah, I can change him, whatever.
00:28:16.000
And the day after I got baptized and I had this inner conviction, I had to break up with
00:28:21.000
this person, of course, for obvious reasons, but did someone from outside come and tell me
00:28:28.000
I knew that I had to let go of certain people, certain beliefs, because my faith is, is now
00:28:39.000
I think, I think that's genuinely great for you, but faith, like getting baptized, being
00:28:43.000
taken over with the Holy Spirit, like I've been baptized.
00:28:53.000
I would say traditional is like our grandmothers and our great grandmothers.
00:28:57.000
That's, that's like what they traditionally did.
00:29:02.000
Like, cause I don't see myself traditional, traditional, but I don't see myself modern.
00:29:06.000
So is there like a middle definition or hybrid?
00:29:13.000
I think it's like a lot of, no offense to you, but modern women pretending to be traditional
00:29:19.000
and some of them don't really know they're not, but I think, I think once you like are
00:29:23.000
around like a truly traditional woman, you just know it when you see it.
00:29:27.000
I think there's differences because you can be around like you're saying traditional and
00:29:32.000
And I think that put that individual person grows up to believe and do what they believe
00:29:40.000
But, but you can like believe things and that's, that's great, but it's about what you,
00:29:47.000
I see a traditional woman like would dress a certain way.
00:29:53.000
Models, you know, wouldn't show off and wouldn't go out party and drinking.
00:30:03.000
They usually are the one that's cooking for everyone at the party.
00:30:06.000
I think the greatest thing would be, how do you see traditional women?
00:30:09.000
Because in different, even in the UK of different parts, there's different parts of,
00:30:13.000
if you look at Liverpool, if we look at travellers, everyone has a traditional type of how they
00:30:19.000
bring, if you look at any culture, they all have a different traditional way.
00:30:28.000
But I would still say the archetype of a traditional woman is the same.
00:30:35.000
If you look at, if you look at, no, no, no, no, no.
00:30:37.000
And if you look at travellers, they're very crisp.
00:30:48.000
I'm just saying, when you look at, they're part of traditions.
00:31:02.000
We don't, we actually don't, actually, we don't call them that.
00:31:07.000
They literally have to like get married at a very young age and have children.
00:31:25.000
I'm just saying that they're also, they, they're very strategic in their belief.
00:31:28.000
They're very, in their faith and how they're brought up and what they believe in as the
00:31:34.000
same as a Muslim woman, a Muslim culture is, a Catholic culture is, a Hindu culture is,
00:31:46.000
So we can't, we can't sit here and say, okay, so what would yours be?
00:31:51.000
We're going to have to go back and forth all night.
00:31:52.000
If you're going to talk about, there's different types of people.
00:31:55.000
Like that's the general argument you keep making.
00:32:04.000
You do have to get over it if you want to stay.
00:32:19.000
Did you say what you did to become traditional?
00:32:21.000
I, sorry, the only thing that stuck to my head, you said something really interesting,
00:32:26.000
And I think this is the big difference in the Western culture with other traditional cultures
00:32:30.000
because traditional cultures are more receptive to this concept of submission.
00:32:35.000
And I think a lot of times in the Western culture, we are, um, they don't really know
00:32:45.000
But to add on that, what submission is, is, you know, we see like sometimes the love as
00:32:52.000
it's one sided, you know, I want to, I'm going to give him this so I can get this.
00:32:56.000
But actually true love is not, I'm going to give this to get this.
00:33:05.000
No, I think that the most like selfless people get the most in general.
00:33:12.000
And this is, I think this is the, and it's sacrificial love.
00:33:14.000
So submission, if a man is submitted to his cause, to his purpose, to his mission, to God,
00:33:19.000
you know, a woman can submit to him, can feel comfortable to submit to him.
00:33:22.000
But the problem that we're facing right now in culture is that women don't feel safe to
00:33:27.000
submit to man because men are not submitted to a cause or to a purpose.
00:33:31.000
And this is the reason why women don't feel, you know, safe to be submissive.
00:33:44.000
So when we talk about submission, you know, we women, our natural desire is to submit.
00:33:51.000
Our natural desire, no matter how much a woman wants to fight about it, we want to submit.
00:33:55.000
But the reason why women don't submit, because I know I was like this as well.
00:34:00.000
And I'm still like this, actually, a man needs to be submitted to.
00:34:04.000
And man doesn't need to be submitted to a woman, but a man needs to be submitted to a cause,
00:34:11.000
And this is where a woman feels safe to be submitted.
00:34:17.000
And I guess the question is like, why are you picking men?
00:34:19.000
I mean, not you, but if you're in that situation, why are you picking men that don't have that?
00:34:26.000
I put my hands up and I do this mistake as well.
00:34:29.000
Wouldn't you guys agree that men will do anything to get laid?
00:34:35.000
So it's like if the men, if the men are a certain way, it's like, because we're not rewarding good behavior.
00:34:42.000
We're in a, we're in a society now where women will do the same.
00:34:51.000
A lot of women now, I don't know if you realize, how old are you?
00:34:58.000
A lot of women now in their forties plus don't really kind of want that whole thing.
00:35:03.000
They just want to go out and have fun, play the game.
00:35:08.000
They, they should be married and like at home, but they're in the streets.
00:35:11.000
Well, when you get to that age, tell me how sad you are.
00:35:13.000
No, I, if I, if I, if I'm, if I'm in the streets at 40, so yeah, I will be sad.
00:35:23.000
No, I didn't think you were, but you said he was very sad.
00:35:28.000
So I'm saying to you, if you feel that's very sad, then when you get to our age, then
00:35:39.000
Well, let's revisit that when you're 46 years old.
00:35:42.000
It doesn't necessarily mean you, if you're 46 or 50 or 55, if you're not, if you're single,
00:35:54.000
You, you might not, but I would, I would be really sad because, I mean, I'd either be
00:36:00.000
So maybe because, yeah, maybe because maybe I'm just counting.
00:36:05.000
But there's women that choose not to be married, that choose not to have children.
00:36:11.000
There are, you said there's women that choose not to be married and they choose not to have
00:36:22.000
That should have been on your, our show tonight.
00:36:25.000
And I think we could have addressed that, but she's not here.
00:36:36.000
But I don't think women actually choose to be single and not have children.
00:36:43.000
It's like, would you, would you rather be with a guy that, okay, show of hands.
00:36:44.000
Would you rather be with a guy that, okay, show of hands.
00:36:45.000
Would you rather be with a guy you love, respect, with, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
00:36:51.000
So, so, would you rather be with a guy that you love, respect and admire and are attracted
00:37:16.000
If you don't raise your hand for one, you can go.
00:37:18.000
You can either cooperate with the show or you can not cooperate.
00:37:20.000
I'm going to, I'll give you the reasons why I'm not cooperating because I don't think that.
00:37:26.000
I don't want to be your show, but I'm just saying that's my perspective.
00:37:30.000
So, you can, you can cooperate or you can not cooperate.
00:37:32.000
What you're telling me is I have to agree with you.
00:37:38.000
I would understand if it's something personal, but this isn't crazy.
00:37:40.000
So, if I don't agree with it, I can put my hand up or I can say no.
00:37:50.000
I feel like I'm talking to like a 10 year old right now.
00:37:57.000
So, would you rather be with a man that you love, respect and admire and are attracted to?
00:38:08.000
So, so by that logic, women over a certain age, it's not a choice to be said.
00:38:13.000
Like most women over a certain age would rather be with somebody.
00:38:16.000
Honey, I think you're going to get a lot of flack on that one.
00:38:19.000
So many of you know, I was just banned on Tik Tok and we are demonetized on a daily basis
00:38:26.920
If you want to help, please consider sending a super thanks below.
00:38:31.240
Every donation helps and it helps make what we do possible.
00:38:47.320
And, right now, I don't know what this protocol is asked.