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00:00:00.000 how long do you think a guy if he goes without sex like okay i'm trying to phrase this question

00:00:04.960 so how long let's say you haven't had sex with him in a month is it acceptable for him to cheat

00:00:10.320 no like like at what point of have you like not slept with your guy where it's kind of

00:00:15.760 understandable that he steps out because we could agree probably that if you haven't slept with him

00:00:19.420 in two years he's probably going to step out if my man don't sleep with me in a month i think it's 0.90

00:00:24.420 over i think it's finished with me i've got a question actually off the back of that no it's

00:00:29.000 not you it's like you not sleep yeah and all seriously never like no i can't see it happening

00:00:33.480 a guy has been deprived for that long like get to the point of saying you've deprived me for this long

00:00:37.940 i feel like i need it and i'm gonna get it like just talk to me yeah communication yeah if he's

00:00:46.400 addressed it to me and come come to me and be like look this is how i'm feeling retta ten and i haven't

00:00:51.480 tried i think the same as an argument and i haven't tried to resolve it yeah resolve it at that point

00:00:55.880 leave me but that's i feel like sex society but it's not that simple for a lot of guys

00:01:00.360 but maybe because it's like they lose custody to their kids no i think i i know i agree it's not

00:01:05.580 that simple but if you want me to answer the question black and white no but in real life

00:01:11.680 everything's a little bit more complex than that so i get it there's exceptions of everything

00:01:16.220 that well yeah and i honestly i just feel like even like me as a married person like i've told

00:01:21.860 my husband this before i don't feel like cheating is a deal breaker if i just don't feel like cheating

00:01:29.740 i feel like you can literally work through anything i really do but oh like just to answer your

00:01:36.700 question right no no no yeah but at least like two months okay two two months is two months okay

00:01:43.680 no at least like some people be like oh you're having sex in two weeks 0.92

00:01:47.920 what aspect are we okay so why wouldn't you be having sex with him sometimes whatever the reason 0.92

00:01:55.500 yeah i mean some girls some girls yeah you can yeah some girls do it to like control the guy 1.00

00:02:00.760 oh yeah sadistic i think sometimes i remember one in four marriages are sexless i mean maybe

00:02:07.520 she married she didn't marry the guy she wanted and she's not really attracted to him anymore

00:02:11.040 yeah i mean there's a million reasons i think if it started that way then it's different

00:02:15.240 if it's changed like throughout you need to look at what's changed it if but sometimes it's also

00:02:20.300 like where you are at mentally yeah yeah and if you're someone who like suffers from depression

00:02:24.880 that can affect how you feel sexually yeah and unfortunately and unfortunately unfortunately

00:02:31.640 unfortunately like it's not personal to your partner but obviously it does affect your partner

00:02:37.760 but you should be able to communicate clearly why you're feeling like you're feeling so that he

00:02:43.220 doesn't feel iced out because men will literally if you if you go to if you go to touch you and you're 0.92

00:02:47.940 like he's gonna feel iced out so and then hopefully you have a compassionate partner i just don't know

00:02:53.400 what you could tell him like baby we're not gonna have sex for three months but this is how i'm

00:02:57.280 feeling yeah yes can you understand well minded i think foundationally what helps is if both both

00:03:03.860 people in the relationship can agree that if we haven't had sex in a while there's actually a problem

00:03:10.260 because one might not see it like the woman that is withholding sex you might not see as a problem 0.93

00:03:14.660 but if we can agree that i i don't feel i have not felt like having sex with you for like over a week 0.55

00:03:21.800 or two weeks she within herself should be able to say i may not know why but this is definitely a

00:03:28.200 problem subconscious yeah but but you you always know why you just need to dig deep like i knew why

00:03:33.540 i and at first i was like oh i'm not too sure and then i did and i told him i was like this is why

00:03:38.700 and he was we have an open not open relationship in terms of other people but in terms of like

00:03:43.860 openly communicating i don't feel like no one should be having sex if you can't talk about sex you 0.69

00:03:49.340 certainly shouldn't be having being in a relationship you can't talk about sex with

00:03:52.660 your partner why you don't have sex or what you like what you don't like etc etc and hopefully

00:03:57.160 the person that you have respect you as a human being and says okay i can see why you're going

00:04:01.680 through that how like do you know how long and if you can honestly say look i don't know how i'm

00:04:07.040 gonna feel if that person then turns around and says well i feel like at least wait a certain

00:04:12.860 time period before you go okay it's been a while is anything changing no yeah the woman should get 1.00

00:04:18.860 proactive about it can i just ask a question what is the longest has any of us been without sex in a

00:04:26.000 relationship and who stopped it what's the longest you've been in your relationship without sex

00:04:32.280 so i can i yeah i just jumped in sorry i don't know if anyone else okay i don't so one of my exes

00:04:47.240 was anorexic he had an eating disorder and i used to hate sleeping with him because i could feel his

00:04:55.080 and it used to make me feel uncomfortable it would hurt and it put me off and trying to help someone

00:05:04.660 overcome that and support them but also trying to be intimate with them when you're not feeling it

00:05:09.820 because it physically hurts is a hard thing to stay in so um that was not a very sexy relationship

00:05:18.040 so how long was it that was a year and a bit no i mean how long you got without sex

00:05:23.960 no no no no no no because he started he started gaining i couldn't do that to myself

00:05:29.640 wait so did you cheat on him no i've never i've never i couldn't if i'm either in or i'm out

00:05:38.480 i don't run around in gray areas i don't it's just not how i roll so for me that we weren't intimate

00:05:45.940 for about a good it was like on and off because some i'm trying to think probably about a good four

00:05:52.200 five months but just to clarify you didn't have sex with him for four or five months

00:05:56.280 yeah and it's because you didn't want to did he know the reason why i had to be honest in the end

00:06:03.400 do you think if the roles were reversed that you would have like taken that okay and you know what

00:06:09.080 it's interesting you're saying that i called myself out on it today because my friend said to me that a

00:06:13.320 guy she was with made a comment about her weight in the bedroom and it made me reflect and think

00:06:19.640 god i've done that to a guy and i thought who the hell am i to say that i felt bad but then he asked

00:06:29.400 me why and i i don't lie you know i'm gonna be honest with you if we're in a relationship

00:06:35.480 and um how did he respond yeah it was hard for him but then he actually got well like he started

00:06:41.960 training in the gym he started eating properly we cooked together like that's why i think that i

00:06:46.600 came into his life to help him with that it's really interesting like the it's like it seems

00:06:51.320 like men can accept criticism a lot better than women because you know it was hard for him

00:06:57.400 if you don't overweight women in that in the bedroom now because how dare you do you not get offended if 1.00

00:07:02.680 your man was picking something especially in the bedroom yeah which is why i felt really bad when she

00:07:07.560 told me that story because it made me think you know what i did that to someone and i didn't

00:07:11.240 mean it in a malicious way no well you should have told him the question he asked me the truth he

00:07:16.040 said tell me i don't really i don't really felt like i thought yeah i mean i just think four or

00:07:20.120 five but that's yeah i didn't just come out with it in a very blunt way i was diplomatic yeah but

00:07:25.960 i don't know if i'm gonna be really honest it spiritually attacked me as well it didn't it

00:07:39.320 didn't just get me physically it made me feel when i'm the kind of person when i'm involved with

00:07:44.200 someone i take on everything like their emotions their aura like i feel so i just want to ask so was

00:07:51.960 you not attracted to him anymore because of that but when you got together you said this is what 0.65

00:07:57.240 he was like so surely you would know i was attracted to him it was painful to have sex with him oh because 0.72

00:08:04.040 of his hip bones sorry i thought you said you wasn't finding it attractive sorry okay it's it's also the

00:08:10.040 it wasn't sexy yeah that so what's the longest i'm waiting to hear from everybody else she's five 0.95

00:08:15.240 months no no i mean each person what's the longest each person is watching like not even 48 hours

00:08:25.320 yeah like two days no that's what i meant because that's what i meant because if you're in a

00:08:30.440 relationship yeah i can't see myself going for you know what yeah depends on the person i think if you

00:08:35.720 start no i think if you used to a close me personally after a couple of days i'm like what's

00:08:39.880 wrong yeah yeah intimacy is a big part of a relationship i think it's easy i think it's

00:08:45.800 easier to go longer if when you're not living together like me and my partner wasn't living

00:08:50.360 together so yeah that's why it probably had that time but if we were living together i 100 believe it

00:08:59.640 would have been sooner yeah

JustPearlyThings - October 27, 2023

Toxic Modern Unable To Answer This Question

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