JustPearlyThings - May 12, 2023


Toxic Woman Contradicts Herself In Real Time


Episode Stats

Length

9 minutes

Words per Minute

217.15146

Word Count

2,165

Sentence Count

227

Misogynist Sentences

19

Hate Speech Sentences

12


Summary

In this episode, we have a special guest on the show, a woman who shares her story of how she was emotionally and physically abused by her husband and how she handled the situation. She talks about how she dealt with the situation and how her husband handled it.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 How did the shoving happen?
00:00:01.440 What led up to that?
00:00:02.800 Because he wanted me to leave.
00:00:04.180 He literally tried to drag me.
00:00:07.300 Were you refusing to leave?
00:00:09.680 Yeah, because I was in my feelings.
00:00:12.060 Because I knew he was lying.
00:00:13.760 Okay, okay.
00:00:14.940 You kind of framed this.
00:00:18.860 Why do a lot of women,
00:00:20.480 they accuse a man of being the bad guy,
00:00:22.780 the guy that hurts them, the guy that beats them.
00:00:24.920 But then the reason,
00:00:26.000 they caused the reason,
00:00:27.720 because if you physically don't move in certain spaces,
00:00:29.700 it's the way you speak to someone.
00:00:33.540 It's the way you conduct yourself in that situation.
00:00:35.740 But if you're in, this has happened to me before.
00:00:37.440 I've been, Esther.
00:00:40.600 You know, you know.
00:00:42.160 No, there was a girl here,
00:00:43.620 and I asked her to leave,
00:00:45.140 and she didn't like the way I asked her to leave.
00:00:47.400 And then she starts yelling at me.
00:00:50.040 And then, well, we didn't have security then,
00:00:52.920 but my security would have just picked her up
00:00:54.420 and taken her out.
00:00:55.520 But then it's like the way you're saying this,
00:00:57.560 it's like, what are the options you have?
00:00:59.020 I wouldn't have done that.
00:00:59.980 How do you say that?
00:01:00.380 See, the thing, I wouldn't have done that.
00:01:01.460 But when it's an emotional, sexual connection,
00:01:03.580 you've got other feelings.
00:01:04.540 Like, you feel rejection,
00:01:05.700 you feel like you're being violated.
00:01:07.060 It just feels, it's kind of different.
00:01:08.480 But I'm saying, like, you're kind of,
00:01:09.160 so you're kind of making yourself,
00:01:11.040 so basically, like, you were kind of overbearing,
00:01:13.580 because you thought he did something,
00:01:16.000 and you had no proof he did it.
00:01:17.140 No, I did, because he said what,
00:01:18.800 he changed his story, and...
00:01:20.420 But you've never said two things
00:01:21.760 that contradicted yourself ever.
00:01:23.560 I have.
00:01:25.140 It just happens when you talk.
00:01:27.680 It's very easy to say the wrong thing
00:01:30.200 if you're being cross-examined.
00:01:31.960 Because you know what?
00:01:32.540 When you say earlier on,
00:01:33.860 where men are analysing women
00:01:35.300 and women are analysing men,
00:01:36.880 he's looking at you like,
00:01:37.780 rah, so you're going to argue
00:01:39.300 against me picking up my kids.
00:01:40.800 But I knew he wasn't.
00:01:41.820 It don't matter whether you know
00:01:43.700 he's not, or he is, yeah?
00:01:45.120 In his head, right, hold on,
00:01:47.540 I'm telling you something about my kids,
00:01:49.240 and you're arguing against my kids.
00:01:51.600 To him, the kids are the main priority.
00:01:53.680 But even so, even so...
00:01:54.880 Does he have a right to privacy?
00:01:56.920 Of course.
00:01:57.860 I'm not a possessive person.
00:01:59.100 Maybe there is something
00:01:59.940 that he just didn't want you to know.
00:02:01.360 Maybe he was private with the mud.
00:02:02.740 Like, you know, I mean,
00:02:04.160 like, baby mama situations can be tricky.
00:02:06.680 Like, sometimes guys don't want to get you
00:02:08.580 in on all the drama.
00:02:10.000 But it's like, you're going into it
00:02:11.580 in bad faith,
00:02:12.440 so you're assuming the worst,
00:02:13.660 when maybe it wasn't the worst.
00:02:15.080 No, I'm saying.
00:02:15.360 But I also feel like
00:02:16.200 it's just the way you conduct yourself
00:02:17.420 in a sensitive situation as well.
00:02:19.300 Like, I just feel like...
00:02:20.100 But couldn't we say that to you, though?
00:02:21.940 Because it's the way, like,
00:02:22.720 you didn't listen when he said leave.
00:02:24.380 Mm-hmm.
00:02:24.900 So it's kind of like, as women,
00:02:26.100 like, we kind of have this double standard
00:02:27.460 where we make him the bad guy
00:02:28.820 when it's like, you kind of started it.
00:02:30.420 But then, oh yeah, I remember now.
00:02:31.920 Also, the reason was, like,
00:02:33.200 I've stayed in the house by myself before,
00:02:34.740 and at this point, he, like,
00:02:35.800 he didn't want me to stay.
00:02:36.680 So it's like, if you love me,
00:02:38.740 why can't I stay here while you go
00:02:39.940 and pick up your child,
00:02:40.800 do what you need to do,
00:02:41.440 and I'll stay here tonight,
00:02:42.220 and you come back.
00:02:42.840 Because you don't want me there.
00:02:43.880 Because that's entitlement.
00:02:45.640 It's not your house.
00:02:46.340 It's the same.
00:02:47.600 Like, if I own this apartment,
00:02:50.460 if I want anyone to leave at any time,
00:02:53.320 I have the right to do that.
00:02:55.560 Absolutely.
00:02:56.260 But that wasn't the issue.
00:02:57.540 Honestly, I didn't have an issue with that.
00:02:58.860 It was just the way it happened
00:02:59.920 and the things that he was saying
00:03:01.200 and the way he was speaking to me.
00:03:02.280 No, okay, but this is, like,
00:03:03.440 a lot of problems with women in relationships.
00:03:05.320 We want men to emote, like, women.
00:03:07.400 But he's not a woman.
00:03:08.400 He's a man.
00:03:09.120 Men don't speak like women do.
00:03:10.580 Like, they're much more stern.
00:03:12.500 And so a lot of times, like,
00:03:13.260 we think something's aggressive,
00:03:14.500 but men are just more aggressive than women.
00:03:16.820 Maybe you might want to call him.
00:03:17.980 But we're not aggressive.
00:03:18.480 He seems like a hard man to replace.
00:03:20.040 Can we just say that?
00:03:21.000 And say sorry.
00:03:21.840 And you said in the beginning
00:03:23.080 that the men that like you,
00:03:24.500 you don't want.
00:03:25.460 So that means the men you want
00:03:26.440 don't want you.
00:03:27.420 Wow.
00:03:27.840 I haven't met the one, I think.
00:03:28.860 No, but that's, like,
00:03:29.500 that's what any girl that's single,
00:03:30.860 it just means the men you want
00:03:31.840 don't want you.
00:03:32.920 And it's not meant to be offensive.
00:03:33.900 The thing is,
00:03:34.240 it's actually crazy
00:03:34.960 because there's no one
00:03:35.540 I actually want.
00:03:37.460 Apart from...
00:03:38.220 There's, okay, but, okay,
00:03:39.440 come on.
00:03:40.020 There's nobody in the world
00:03:41.140 that you'd want.
00:03:41.900 I'm attracted to, like,
00:03:43.040 someone, but he's,
00:03:43.820 but he's like a celebrity.
00:03:45.820 You know, like, sex appeal,
00:03:47.180 but there's no one
00:03:47.760 I actually want.
00:03:48.580 Okay, do you think
00:03:49.100 you're on, like,
00:03:49.560 the level of a celebrity?
00:03:51.380 Yeah.
00:03:52.940 You're not on the level
00:03:53.720 of a celebrity.
00:03:54.720 I think I am.
00:03:56.240 You're just delusional, man.
00:03:57.420 I think I am.
00:03:58.340 I think I am.
00:03:58.460 I think I'm...
00:03:59.620 No, you're a pretty girl, but...
00:04:00.620 I think I'm an amazing person
00:04:01.880 from being lost.
00:04:02.580 Celebrity's, like,
00:04:04.360 top 10, 20% of beauty.
00:04:06.300 Like, that's...
00:04:06.660 Yeah, but remember,
00:04:07.360 I think I'm beautiful
00:04:08.140 without the Botox,
00:04:10.480 without the money,
00:04:11.780 without all that money
00:04:12.540 to do myself up.
00:04:13.360 So, I think I'm great.
00:04:14.780 This is, like, a cope
00:04:15.960 I see women do.
00:04:17.040 Like, it's, like,
00:04:17.820 you think because
00:04:18.960 they have money,
00:04:19.920 they're beautiful
00:04:20.540 when they got there.
00:04:22.120 Money helped.
00:04:22.840 But if you look at
00:04:23.340 Margot Robbie before Fame,
00:04:24.660 that girl was a 10.
00:04:25.700 I don't know who that is.
00:04:26.600 But then you're doing
00:04:27.100 selectiveness
00:04:27.680 because there's enough
00:04:28.420 girls that go there
00:04:29.220 and the money
00:04:29.800 glows them up only.
00:04:30.820 I disagree.
00:04:32.420 Not the girls
00:04:32.880 that get there
00:04:33.300 for looks alone.
00:04:34.640 Top 20% of beauty.
00:04:36.260 You can look at exceptions
00:04:37.440 like that,
00:04:38.600 like Kylie Jenner.
00:04:40.320 She's not beautiful.
00:04:42.240 She wasn't beautiful before.
00:04:43.780 No, she was cute,
00:04:44.560 but yeah.
00:04:44.920 I mean,
00:04:45.260 she wasn't that beautiful.
00:04:46.140 No, she gets fixed up.
00:04:46.880 She wasn't.
00:04:47.220 But, like,
00:04:47.820 I'm just saying,
00:04:48.380 in general, guys,
00:04:49.520 like, can we just talk
00:04:50.340 in general
00:04:50.800 instead of exceptions?
00:04:51.780 Most celebrities
00:04:52.320 are top 20% of beauty
00:04:53.620 in general.
00:04:54.420 Like, we could talk
00:04:56.240 about, there's some
00:04:56.920 exceptions, like Kylie
00:04:58.220 Jenner did her lips,
00:04:59.140 whatever, but most
00:04:59.880 people in Hollywood
00:05:01.300 were the top 20%
00:05:02.400 of beauty
00:05:02.780 wherever they're from.
00:05:04.980 I still don't agree,
00:05:06.020 but yeah.
00:05:06.460 Okay, I feel you.
00:05:07.340 I feel you.
00:05:08.900 I don't know.
00:05:09.380 Maybe you should call him.
00:05:10.420 No, definitely not.
00:05:12.660 He might.
00:05:13.300 Oh, I'm an apology.
00:05:14.440 I don't know.
00:05:15.000 No, we had a closure,
00:05:16.880 but he's not the one for me.
00:05:18.160 He's not my soulmate.
00:05:19.140 What's the definition
00:05:19.460 of the one?
00:05:20.940 I just feel like
00:05:21.580 there's a difference
00:05:22.260 in behavior,
00:05:23.640 and the way you feel
00:05:24.520 as well.
00:05:25.240 I can accept,
00:05:25.840 I'm not a possessive person.
00:05:27.020 I can accept,
00:05:27.720 I really like my independence,
00:05:29.000 but I just know
00:05:30.220 there's a certain way
00:05:31.260 that you will handle
00:05:31.840 someone in those situations.
00:05:33.780 Are you your only child?
00:05:34.260 That just wasn't,
00:05:35.160 I'm not,
00:05:35.420 no, I've got
00:05:35.840 loads of brothers and sisters.
00:05:36.020 You know what it is, though?
00:05:36.980 You know what it is?
00:05:37.400 Sorry, I just know
00:05:38.180 within myself.
00:05:38.940 Sorry, are you your only child?
00:05:40.180 No, I've got brothers and sisters.
00:05:41.120 Are you the youngest?
00:05:42.040 I'm in the middle.
00:05:43.260 Oh, okay.
00:05:44.300 So, growing up,
00:05:47.700 did your mum have a partner?
00:05:49.780 Did you have a stepdad around?
00:05:51.040 None.
00:05:51.140 Yeah, yeah,
00:05:52.060 like, no,
00:05:52.980 but not permanently.
00:05:53.960 So, what,
00:05:55.540 in terms of looking up,
00:05:56.900 do you know how to look
00:05:57.640 after a man?
00:05:58.280 Of course.
00:05:59.220 No, because you're saying
00:06:00.040 certain things that
00:06:00.860 in a relationship,
00:06:01.780 it's like,
00:06:03.060 if you saw a relationship
00:06:04.720 with your mum and dad
00:06:05.360 growing up,
00:06:05.880 then there's certain things
00:06:06.760 you wouldn't do
00:06:07.760 in a relationship,
00:06:08.640 you know what I'm saying,
00:06:09.200 to keep the man.
00:06:10.820 Listen,
00:06:11.400 every man,
00:06:12.180 every man that's been
00:06:13.480 my boyfriend
00:06:13.940 has returned,
00:06:15.220 and they haven't found
00:06:16.720 better.
00:06:17.360 No, it's not the same.
00:06:18.020 Definitely not.
00:06:18.580 Have you ever been married?
00:06:20.380 Have you proposed to you?
00:06:21.420 Yeah.
00:06:22.300 You've been proposed
00:06:23.220 to be in a gate?
00:06:23.900 Well, not like on one knee.
00:06:26.040 I haven't had that experience yet,
00:06:27.160 but I've had similar.
00:06:28.200 He bought you a ring?
00:06:28.780 Yes.
00:06:29.200 Oh, promise ring.
00:06:29.660 I've had similar,
00:06:30.380 but not like that.
00:06:31.240 He was young, so.
00:06:32.080 A promise ring?
00:06:33.300 Basically, kind of like that.
00:06:34.280 Do you know what I mean?
00:06:35.140 He promised.
00:06:35.860 Okay.
00:06:36.560 It is what,
00:06:37.080 it's the same thing.
00:06:37.860 It's rare for a man to do that.
00:06:39.520 No, promise rings don't count.
00:06:40.680 No, it does,
00:06:41.180 because it's rare,
00:06:41.800 because that does not count.
00:06:42.420 Do you think that men
00:06:43.240 go out and buy promise rings?
00:06:45.120 Just a lie with a gift.
00:06:46.220 I'll be honest.
00:06:47.640 Girl, I've had one.
00:06:48.820 It's not that big.
00:06:49.440 I fell, fell.
00:06:50.080 Let me have the...
00:06:51.120 But he has to really like you
00:06:52.300 to be,
00:06:52.720 because he's not going
00:06:53.240 to do that to everyone.
00:06:54.060 No, no, I'm not going to lie.
00:06:54.880 Man will buy promise rings still.
00:06:56.520 It's never going to happen.
00:06:58.100 It doesn't count.
00:06:58.940 You need a wedding date.
00:07:00.000 Yeah, hundreds.
00:07:00.820 A wedding date,
00:07:01.540 not a little ring.
00:07:03.360 But I was young anyway.
00:07:04.280 No, okay,
00:07:04.800 so it wasn't a real,
00:07:05.880 it wasn't a real proposal.
00:07:07.640 No, no, no.
00:07:08.640 Okay, so the whole point
00:07:10.000 is like you're counting
00:07:10.900 things that don't count.
00:07:12.160 It doesn't count
00:07:13.080 if they don't want to marry you.
00:07:14.180 No, I feel you.
00:07:14.780 Well, they do.
00:07:15.520 Their intention is to,
00:07:16.280 but, you know.
00:07:16.800 No, men say things.
00:07:17.920 When they mean it,
00:07:18.500 they do it.
00:07:19.900 Like, you can't,
00:07:21.040 you can't count it like...
00:07:22.320 I know what you mean,
00:07:22.980 but, you know,
00:07:24.020 shit happens.
00:07:24.540 You know,
00:07:24.980 I've had guys say,
00:07:25.860 I want to marry you.
00:07:26.880 It doesn't count
00:07:27.420 unless he goes by the ring,
00:07:29.320 ask my dad.
00:07:30.320 This is,
00:07:30.900 we can't like,
00:07:31.980 like, I don't know
00:07:32.480 why as women,
00:07:32.940 we count things that don't count.
00:07:34.380 You know it don't count.
00:07:35.960 So, you've been proposed to
00:07:36.960 a couple of times.
00:07:38.320 No, it don't count.
00:07:42.540 That's what I just said.
00:07:44.000 Like, yeah.
00:07:44.180 So, no one's
00:07:45.020 boot a ring and said...
00:07:46.960 No, no, no.
00:07:48.200 It doesn't,
00:07:48.780 it don't count.
00:07:50.320 Like,
00:07:51.020 it's like I had a promise ring,
00:07:52.540 but is a promise ring
00:07:53.320 or a wedding ring?
00:07:53.940 No, it's not.
00:07:55.380 I don't count that.
00:07:56.620 But any time we feel like it.
00:07:57.680 But did he say
00:07:58.160 it was a promise ring
00:07:58.920 or did he say
00:07:59.400 it's an engagement ring?
00:08:00.700 No, he said
00:08:01.320 it was a promise ring
00:08:02.280 and then he said
00:08:03.140 he was trying to...
00:08:04.760 He said,
00:08:06.060 it doesn't count.
00:08:06.840 That's what I'm saying.
00:08:07.340 Financially,
00:08:07.820 he was trying to get
00:08:08.580 the property.
00:08:10.500 I'm not going to do it.
00:08:11.620 It doesn't count.
00:08:14.360 Okay,
00:08:14.860 so everyone went,
00:08:16.600 right?
00:08:16.780 How does a guy
00:08:17.400 identify a good woman?
00:08:18.500 Yeah,
00:08:19.060 mandem time.
00:08:19.960 Okay.
00:08:21.080 All right,
00:08:21.560 men,
00:08:22.020 if you want to say
00:08:22.640 how do I...
00:08:23.940 One,
00:08:24.560 are any of you
00:08:25.080 with a good woman?
00:08:26.940 Like,
00:08:27.180 anyone married?
00:08:28.340 Anyone married?
00:08:29.000 We're not married yet.
00:08:29.820 No,
00:08:30.300 no,
00:08:30.680 no married.
00:08:31.200 Okay,
00:08:31.360 I just wanted to get...
00:08:32.180 Okay.
00:08:32.520 How do you find a good woman?
00:08:34.020 How do I find one?
00:08:35.120 Yeah,
00:08:35.400 identify one.
00:08:37.180 I think a good woman...
00:08:39.640 I can't tell a good woman
00:08:41.200 straight away.
00:08:42.420 It has to be
00:08:43.000 along the course of time.
00:08:44.500 She needs to be
00:08:45.300 how I want,
00:08:46.740 when I want,
00:08:47.840 when I need her to be.
00:08:49.440 And I won't get that
00:08:50.620 from the first look basis.
00:08:52.660 Do you know what I mean?
00:08:53.460 So I think a first...
00:08:55.160 A good woman,
00:08:55.860 to me,
00:08:57.180 is a woman that has
00:08:58.820 good family values,
00:09:00.960 that know how to
00:09:01.580 be around her family,
00:09:04.020 that has a good relationship
00:09:05.000 with her dad,
00:09:06.180 submissive,
00:09:11.200 caring,
00:09:11.900 nurturing,
00:09:14.620 healthy.
00:09:20.120 That's about it.
00:09:21.200 All right,
00:09:21.740 caring.
00:09:22.360 Yeah,
00:09:22.640 that's about it for me.
00:09:23.780 And how do you know
00:09:24.780 a good one?
00:09:25.360 So right now,
00:09:26.160 this is what you have to do.
00:09:27.120 You have to see her
00:09:27.720 for three months,
00:09:28.960 ask her to make you
00:09:30.080 a coffee.
00:09:31.000 No,
00:09:31.280 I'm...
00:09:31.980 Yeah, yeah, yeah,
00:09:32.120 go for it.
00:09:32.500 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:09:32.840 The three month thing.
00:09:34.020 Yeah, yeah.
00:09:34.620 Three months.
00:09:35.280 This is for the woman
00:09:38.420 you pick to marry,
00:09:39.500 so like, okay.
00:09:40.560 And you can make edits,
00:09:41.700 so it's okay.
00:09:42.380 Many of you know
00:09:43.020 I was just banned
00:09:44.240 on TikTok,
00:09:45.640 and we are demonetized
00:09:46.860 on a daily basis
00:09:48.080 on this platform.
00:09:50.000 If you want to help,
00:09:51.380 please consider
00:09:52.100 sending a super thanks below.
00:09:53.900 every donation helps
00:09:55.760 and it helps
00:09:56.300 make what we do
00:09:57.460 possible.