JustPearlyThings - May 17, 2023


Toxic Woman Gets Caught In 4K LYING


Episode Stats


Length

9 minutes

Words per minute

219.35808

Word count

2,187

Sentence count

229

Harmful content

Misogyny

17

sentences flagged

Hate speech

10

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss domestic violence and the double standard when it comes to the way we treat our partners in our relationships. We discuss how to deal with a partner who is emotionally or physically abusive and how to handle that situation.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 How did the shoving happen?
00:00:01.440 Like, what led up to that?
00:00:02.800 Because he wanted me to leave.
00:00:04.180 Okay, so you...
00:00:04.940 Literally, and he tried to drag me for real.
00:00:07.500 Okay, wait, so were you refusing to leave?
00:00:09.680 Yeah, because I was in my feelings.
00:00:11.740 Because I knew he was lying, like, come on, I don't...
00:00:13.860 Okay, okay, but you kind of framed this...
00:00:16.740 Why do a lot of women, like, they accuse a man of being, like, the bad guy, 0.99
00:00:22.780 the guy that hurts them, the guy that beats them,
00:00:24.820 but then the reason they, like, they made, they caused the reason,
00:00:27.620 because if you physically don't move in certain spaces...
00:00:30.040 No, sorry, it's the way you speak to someone.
00:00:33.520 It's the way you conduct yourself in that situation.
00:00:35.320 But if you're...
00:00:36.000 This has happened to me before.
00:00:37.440 I've been...
00:00:38.040 Esther.
00:00:40.600 You know, you know.
00:00:42.160 No, there was a girl here, and I asked her to leave, 1.00
00:00:45.140 and she didn't like the way I asked her to leave. 0.97
00:00:47.100 Right.
00:00:47.580 And then she starts yelling at me, and then... 0.76
00:00:51.320 Well, we didn't have security then,
00:00:52.920 but my security would have just picked her up and taken her out. 1.00
00:00:55.300 100.
00:00:55.680 But then it's like, the way you're saying this,
00:00:57.480 it's like, what other options do you have?
00:00:59.040 I wouldn't have done that.
00:00:59.980 How do you say that?
00:01:00.380 See, the thing, I wouldn't have done that,
00:01:01.460 but when it's an emotional, sexual connection,
00:01:03.560 you've got other feelings, like, you feel rejection,
00:01:05.700 you feel like you're being violated.
00:01:07.060 It just feels...
00:01:07.660 It's kind of different.
00:01:08.640 You're kind of...
00:01:09.360 So, you're kind of making yourself...
00:01:11.040 So, basically, like, you were kind of overbearing,
00:01:13.580 because you thought he did something,
00:01:16.000 and you had no proof he did it.
00:01:17.180 No, I did, because he said what...
00:01:18.800 He changed his story, and...
00:01:20.420 But you've never said two things
00:01:21.760 that contradicted yourself ever.
00:01:23.540 I have.
00:01:25.100 I just...
00:01:25.520 But this happens when you talk.
00:01:26.760 You know, it's very easy to say the wrong thing
00:01:30.200 if you're being cross-examined.
00:01:31.940 Because you know what?
00:01:32.520 When you say earlier on,
00:01:33.840 where men are analysing women
00:01:35.300 and women are analysing men,
00:01:36.880 he's looking at you like,
00:01:37.760 rah, so you're going to argue
00:01:39.300 against me picking up my kids.
00:01:40.760 You want to...
00:01:41.080 But I knew he wasn't.
00:01:41.880 It's different.
00:01:42.840 It don't matter whether you know
00:01:43.700 he's not, or it is, yeah?
00:01:45.120 In his head,
00:01:46.400 rah, hold on,
00:01:47.500 I'm telling you something about my kids,
00:01:49.240 and you're arguing against my kids.
00:01:50.380 Because to him,
00:01:52.500 the kids are the main priority.
00:01:54.000 But even so,
00:01:54.060 does he have a right to privacy?
00:01:56.920 Of course.
00:01:57.860 I'm not a possessive person.
00:01:59.280 Maybe there was something
00:01:59.940 that he just didn't want you to know.
00:02:01.360 Maybe he was private with the mud. 0.70
00:02:03.340 You know, I mean,
00:02:04.240 baby mama situations can be tricky. 1.00
00:02:06.720 Sometimes guys don't want to get you in
00:02:08.700 on all the drama.
00:02:10.060 But it's like,
00:02:10.680 you're going into it in bad faith,
00:02:12.440 so you're assuming the worst,
00:02:13.660 when maybe it wasn't the worst.
00:02:15.100 But I also feel like,
00:02:16.280 it's just the way you conduct yourself
00:02:17.420 in a sensitive situation as well.
00:02:18.960 But couldn't we say that to you, though?
00:02:21.960 Because it's the way,
00:02:22.580 like, you didn't listen
00:02:23.320 when he said leave.
00:02:24.720 So it's kind of like,
00:02:25.740 as women,
00:02:26.120 we kind of have this double standard
00:02:27.460 where we make him the bad guy
00:02:28.820 when it's like,
00:02:29.300 you kind of started it.
00:02:30.420 But then, oh yeah,
00:02:31.220 I remember now,
00:02:31.800 also the reason was,
00:02:33.000 like, I've stayed in the house
00:02:33.960 by myself before,
00:02:34.740 and at this point,
00:02:35.400 he didn't want me to stay.
00:02:36.680 So it's like,
00:02:37.520 if you love me,
00:02:38.740 why can't I stay here
00:02:39.500 while you go and pick up your child,
00:02:40.820 do what you need to do,
00:02:41.460 and I'll stay here tonight,
00:02:42.220 and you come back.
00:02:42.700 Because you don't want me there.
00:02:43.880 Because that's entitlement.
00:02:45.680 It's not your house.
00:02:46.360 Like, if I own this apartment,
00:02:50.460 if I want anyone to leave
00:02:52.400 at any time,
00:02:53.320 I have the right to do that.
00:02:55.560 Absolutely.
00:02:56.260 But that wasn't the issue.
00:02:57.500 Honestly, I didn't have an issue with that.
00:02:58.860 It was just the way it happened
00:02:59.920 and the things that he was saying
00:03:01.200 and the way he was speaking to me.
00:03:02.280 It's just kind of like...
00:03:02.800 But this is like a lot of problems
00:03:04.160 with women in relationships.
00:03:05.300 We want men to emote like women. 0.99
00:03:07.400 But he's not a woman. 0.64
00:03:08.480 He's a man.
00:03:09.120 Men don't speak like women do. 1.00
00:03:10.440 They're much more stern.
00:03:12.560 And so a lot of times,
00:03:13.180 we think something's aggressive,
00:03:14.520 but men are just more aggressive than women.
00:03:16.680 Maybe you might want to call him.
00:03:17.980 But we're not aggressive.
00:03:18.460 He seems like a hard man to replace.
00:03:20.040 Can we just say that?
00:03:21.000 And say sorry.
00:03:21.820 And you said in the beginning
00:03:23.080 that the men that like you,
00:03:24.500 you don't want.
00:03:25.460 So that means the men you want 0.55
00:03:26.440 don't want you.
00:03:27.420 Wow.
00:03:27.840 I haven't met the one, I think.
00:03:28.860 No, but that's like...
00:03:29.520 That's what...
00:03:29.920 Any girl that's single,
00:03:30.860 it just means the men you want 0.62
00:03:31.840 don't want you.
00:03:32.900 And it's not meant to be offensive.
00:03:33.900 The thing is,
00:03:34.240 it's actually crazy
00:03:34.960 because there's no one I actually want.
00:03:37.520 Apart from...
00:03:38.180 There's...
00:03:38.540 Okay, but...
00:03:39.040 Okay, come on.
00:03:40.020 There's nobody in the world
00:03:41.140 that you'd want.
00:03:41.920 I'm attracted to like someone,
00:03:43.280 but he's like a celebrity.
00:03:45.840 You know, like sex appeal,
00:03:47.200 but there's no one I actually want.
00:03:48.560 Okay, do you think you're on
00:03:49.340 like the level of a celebrity?
00:03:51.420 Yeah.
00:03:52.920 You're not on the level of a celebrity.
00:03:54.700 I think I am.
00:03:56.820 I think you're a fuck.
00:03:57.740 I think I am.
00:03:58.680 I think I'm...
00:03:59.680 No, you're a pretty girl. 0.79
00:04:00.840 I think I'm an amazing person
00:04:01.880 if I'm being honest.
00:04:03.700 Celebrity's like top 10,
00:04:04.940 20% of beauty.
00:04:06.320 Like that's...
00:04:06.660 Yeah, but remember,
00:04:07.380 I think I'm beautiful.
00:04:08.140 I think I'm beautiful
00:04:09.380 without the Botox,
00:04:10.520 without the money,
00:04:11.580 without all that money,
00:04:12.620 to do myself up.
00:04:13.460 So I think I'm great.
00:04:14.740 This is like a cope
00:04:15.960 I see women do. 1.00
00:04:17.060 Like it's like,
00:04:17.860 you think because they have money,
00:04:19.940 they're beautiful
00:04:20.540 when they got there.
00:04:22.120 Money helped.
00:04:22.840 But if you look at Margot Robbie
00:04:23.980 before Fame,
00:04:24.660 that girl was a 10. 0.94
00:04:25.700 I don't know who that is.
00:04:26.600 But then you're doing selectiveness
00:04:27.680 because there's enough girl 1.00
00:04:28.660 that go there
00:04:29.220 and the money glows them up only.
00:04:31.540 I disagree.
00:04:32.420 Not the girls that get there 1.00
00:04:33.300 for looks alone.
00:04:34.640 Top 20% of beauty.
00:04:36.320 You can look at exceptions
00:04:37.420 like that,
00:04:38.600 like Kylie Jenner.
00:04:40.320 She's not beautiful.
00:04:42.240 She wasn't beautiful before.
00:04:43.780 She was cute,
00:04:44.560 but yeah.
00:04:44.960 I mean,
00:04:45.260 she wasn't that beautiful.
00:04:46.080 No, she gets fixed up. 0.99
00:04:46.880 She wasn't.
00:04:47.420 But like,
00:04:47.820 I'm just saying in general,
00:04:49.040 guys,
00:04:49.540 like can we just talk in general
00:04:50.820 instead of exceptions?
00:04:51.640 Most celebrities
00:04:52.340 are top 20% of beauty
00:04:53.620 in general.
00:04:55.560 Like we could talk about,
00:04:56.500 there's some exceptions,
00:04:57.800 like Kylie Jenner
00:04:58.520 did her lips,
00:04:59.140 whatever,
00:04:59.500 but most people in Hollywood
00:05:01.300 were the top 20% of beauty
00:05:02.780 wherever they're from.
00:05:04.980 I still don't agree,
00:05:06.020 but yeah.
00:05:06.460 Okay, I feel you.
00:05:07.340 I feel you.
00:05:08.900 I don't know.
00:05:09.380 Maybe you should call him.
00:05:10.420 No, definitely not.
00:05:12.660 He might.
00:05:13.300 Oh, I'm an apology.
00:05:14.440 I don't know.
00:05:15.000 No, I have.
00:05:15.420 We had a closure,
00:05:16.880 but he's not the one for me.
00:05:18.140 He's not my soulmate.
00:05:19.140 What's the definition of the one?
00:05:20.960 I just feel like
00:05:21.580 there's a difference
00:05:22.260 in behavior
00:05:23.640 and the way you feel as well.
00:05:25.560 I'm not a possessive person.
00:05:27.080 I can accept,
00:05:27.700 I really like my independence,
00:05:29.000 but I just know
00:05:30.220 there's a certain way
00:05:31.260 that you will handle someone
00:05:32.300 in those situations.
00:05:33.420 Are you your only child?
00:05:34.260 That just wasn't,
00:05:35.160 I'm not,
00:05:35.500 no, I've got loads of brothers and sisters.
00:05:36.040 You know what it is though?
00:05:36.980 You know what it is?
00:05:37.400 Sorry, I just know within myself.
00:05:38.980 Sorry, are you your only child?
00:05:40.160 No, I've got brothers and sisters.
00:05:41.120 Are you the youngest?
00:05:42.040 I'm in the middle.
00:05:43.260 Oh, okay.
00:05:44.200 You know,
00:05:44.540 so grow,
00:05:45.100 no, go on, go on.
00:05:46.360 It's fine.
00:05:47.100 So growing up,
00:05:47.780 did your mom have a partner?
00:05:49.780 Did you have a stepdad around?
00:05:51.000 None.
00:05:51.160 Yeah, yeah,
00:05:52.060 like, no,
00:05:53.060 but not permanently.
00:05:53.960 So what,
00:05:55.540 in terms of looking up,
00:05:56.900 do you know how to look after a man?
00:05:58.300 Of course.
00:05:58.540 Like, oh, being in,
00:05:59.220 no, because you're saying certain things
00:06:00.680 that in a relationship,
00:06:01.780 it's like,
00:06:03.060 if you saw a relationship
00:06:04.720 with your mom and dad growing up,
00:06:05.860 then there's certain things
00:06:06.760 you wouldn't do in a relationship,
00:06:08.640 you get what I'm saying,
00:06:09.180 to keep the man.
00:06:10.740 Listen,
00:06:11.400 every man,
00:06:12.180 every man that's been my boyfriend
00:06:13.940 has returned
00:06:15.220 and they haven't found better.
00:06:17.320 No, it's not.
00:06:18.000 Definitely not.
00:06:18.580 Have you ever been married?
00:06:20.400 Have you ever been married?
00:06:20.760 Proposed to you?
00:06:21.420 Yeah.
00:06:22.300 You've been proposed to you?
00:06:23.560 Well, not like on one knee.
00:06:26.040 I haven't had that experience yet,
00:06:27.140 but I've had similar.
00:06:28.200 He bought you a ring?
00:06:28.780 Yes.
00:06:29.200 Oh, a promise ring.
00:06:29.700 I've had similar,
00:06:30.380 but not like that.
00:06:31.240 It was young, so.
00:06:32.060 A promise ring?
00:06:33.260 Basically, kind of like that.
00:06:34.280 Do you know what I mean?
00:06:35.040 He promised.
00:06:35.860 Okay.
00:06:36.580 It is what,
00:06:37.080 it's the same thing.
00:06:37.840 It's rare for a man to do that.
00:06:39.520 Promise rings don't count.
00:06:40.680 No, it does,
00:06:41.160 because it's rare,
00:06:41.720 because that does not count.
00:06:42.420 Do you think that men go out
00:06:43.820 and buy promise rings?
00:06:45.180 It's just a line with a gift.
00:06:46.240 I'll be honest.
00:06:47.640 Girl, I've had one.
00:06:48.820 It's not that big.
00:06:49.280 All right, pal, pal,
00:06:50.060 let me have,
00:06:51.120 but he has to really like you to be,
00:06:52.720 because he's not going to do that to everyone.
00:06:54.060 No, no, I'm not going to lie.
00:06:55.020 Okay, okay, okay.
00:06:55.320 Man will buy promise rings still.
00:06:56.520 It's never going to happen.
00:06:57.560 Wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:06:57.640 It doesn't count.
00:06:58.920 You need a wedding date.
00:06:59.980 Yeah, hundreds.
00:07:00.820 A wedding date,
00:07:01.540 not a little ring.
00:07:03.340 But I was young anyway.
00:07:04.280 No, okay,
00:07:04.800 so it wasn't a real,
00:07:05.780 it wasn't a real proposal.
00:07:07.600 No, no, no.
00:07:08.280 Okay, so the whole point is like
00:07:10.360 you're counting things that don't count.
00:07:12.140 It doesn't count
00:07:13.080 if they don't want to marry you.
00:07:14.180 No, I feel you.
00:07:14.800 Well, they do.
00:07:15.520 Their intention is to, you know.
00:07:16.360 No, no, like men say things.
00:07:17.940 When they mean it, they do it.
00:07:19.880 Like you can't count it like.
00:07:22.320 I know what you mean,
00:07:23.000 but you know, shit happens.
00:07:24.760 You know, I've had guys say,
00:07:25.860 I want to marry you.
00:07:26.860 It doesn't count unless he goes by the ring,
00:07:29.300 ask my dad.
00:07:30.340 This is, we can't like,
00:07:31.980 like I don't know why I was women. 0.90
00:07:32.940 We count things that don't count.
00:07:34.380 You know it don't count.
00:07:35.740 So pro, you've been proposed to
00:07:36.960 a couple of times or?
00:07:38.040 No, it don't count.
00:07:42.560 That's what I just said.
00:07:44.020 So no one's boot a ring and said.
00:07:47.060 No, no, no.
00:07:48.200 It doesn't, it don't count.
00:07:50.340 Like, it's like I've had a promise ring,
00:07:52.540 but it's a promise ring or wedding ring.
00:07:54.020 No, I don't count that.
00:07:56.640 But at the time we feel like it.
00:07:57.680 But did he say it was a promise ring
00:07:58.920 or did he say it's an engagement ring?
00:08:00.680 No, he said it was a promise ring
00:08:02.280 and then he said,
00:08:03.280 he was trying to,
00:08:04.520 he said, it doesn't count.
00:08:06.720 That's what I'm saying.
00:08:07.420 Financially, he was trying to get the property.
00:08:10.500 I'm not going to do it.
00:08:11.620 It doesn't count.
00:08:14.400 Okay, how,
00:08:15.500 so everyone went, right?
00:08:16.780 How does a guy identify a good woman?
00:08:18.540 Yeah, mandem time.
00:08:19.980 Okay.
00:08:21.060 All right, men,
00:08:21.980 if you want to say,
00:08:22.800 how do I,
00:08:23.940 one,
00:08:24.560 are any of you with a good woman?
00:08:26.900 Like,
00:08:27.160 anyone married?
00:08:28.260 Anyone married?
00:08:29.000 We're not married yet.
00:08:29.840 No, no,
00:08:30.680 no married.
00:08:31.200 Okay,
00:08:31.340 I just wanted to get,
00:08:32.160 okay.
00:08:32.540 How do you find a good woman? 1.00
00:08:34.040 How do I find one?
00:08:35.120 Yeah,
00:08:35.380 identify one.
00:08:37.220 I think a good woman,
00:08:39.560 I can't,
00:08:40.120 I can't tell a good woman straight away. 0.92
00:08:42.400 It has to be along the course of time.
00:08:44.220 She needs to be how I want, 0.98
00:08:46.760 when I want,
00:08:47.840 when I need her to be.
00:08:49.460 And I won't get that
00:08:50.620 from the first look basis.
00:08:52.660 Do you know what I mean?
00:08:53.460 So I think a first,
00:08:55.180 a good woman to me
00:08:56.380 is a woman that has
00:08:58.820 good family values,
00:09:00.960 that know how to
00:09:01.560 be around her family,
00:09:04.100 that has a good relationship
00:09:05.000 with her dad,
00:09:06.360 submissive,
00:09:11.280 caring,
00:09:11.900 nurturing,
00:09:14.620 healthy,
00:09:19.020 and how do you know a good one?
00:09:25.380 So right now,
00:09:26.180 this is what you have to do.
00:09:27.140 You have to see her for three months,
00:09:29.020 ask her to make you a coffee.
00:09:31.020 No,
00:09:31.260 I'm free.
00:09:32.060 Yeah, yeah, yeah, go for it.
00:09:32.540 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:09:32.860 The three month thing.
00:09:34.020 Yeah, yeah.
00:09:34.500 Three months.
00:09:36.520 Yeah.
00:09:37.180 This is for the woman 0.96
00:09:38.420 you picked to marry,
00:09:39.480 so like, okay.
00:09:40.560 And you can make edits,
00:09:41.700 so it's okay.
00:09:42.400 Many of you know,
00:09:43.100 I was just banned on TikTok
00:09:45.140 and we are demonetized
00:09:46.860 on a daily basis
00:09:48.120 on this platform.
00:09:50.000 If you want to help,
00:09:51.380 please consider sending
00:09:52.500 a super thanks below.
00:09:54.440 Every donation helps
00:09:55.760 and it helps make
00:09:56.600 what we do possible.