JustPearlyThings - May 17, 2023


Toxic Woman Gets Caught In 4K LYING


Episode Stats

Length

9 minutes

Words per Minute

219.35808

Word Count

2,187

Sentence Count

229

Misogynist Sentences

17

Hate Speech Sentences

10


Summary

In this episode, we discuss domestic violence and the double standard when it comes to the way we treat our partners in our relationships. We discuss how to deal with a partner who is emotionally or physically abusive and how to handle that situation.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 How did the shoving happen?
00:00:01.440 Like, what led up to that?
00:00:02.800 Because he wanted me to leave.
00:00:04.180 Okay, so you...
00:00:04.940 Literally, and he tried to drag me for real.
00:00:07.500 Okay, wait, so were you refusing to leave?
00:00:09.680 Yeah, because I was in my feelings.
00:00:11.740 Because I knew he was lying, like, come on, I don't...
00:00:13.860 Okay, okay, but you kind of framed this...
00:00:16.740 Why do a lot of women, like, they accuse a man of being, like, the bad guy,
00:00:22.780 the guy that hurts them, the guy that beats them,
00:00:24.820 but then the reason they, like, they made, they caused the reason,
00:00:27.620 because if you physically don't move in certain spaces...
00:00:30.040 No, sorry, it's the way you speak to someone.
00:00:33.520 It's the way you conduct yourself in that situation.
00:00:35.320 But if you're...
00:00:36.000 This has happened to me before.
00:00:37.440 I've been...
00:00:38.040 Esther.
00:00:40.600 You know, you know.
00:00:42.160 No, there was a girl here, and I asked her to leave,
00:00:45.140 and she didn't like the way I asked her to leave.
00:00:47.100 Right.
00:00:47.580 And then she starts yelling at me, and then...
00:00:51.320 Well, we didn't have security then,
00:00:52.920 but my security would have just picked her up and taken her out.
00:00:55.300 100.
00:00:55.680 But then it's like, the way you're saying this,
00:00:57.480 it's like, what other options do you have?
00:00:59.040 I wouldn't have done that.
00:00:59.980 How do you say that?
00:01:00.380 See, the thing, I wouldn't have done that,
00:01:01.460 but when it's an emotional, sexual connection,
00:01:03.560 you've got other feelings, like, you feel rejection,
00:01:05.700 you feel like you're being violated.
00:01:07.060 It just feels...
00:01:07.660 It's kind of different.
00:01:08.640 You're kind of...
00:01:09.360 So, you're kind of making yourself...
00:01:11.040 So, basically, like, you were kind of overbearing,
00:01:13.580 because you thought he did something,
00:01:16.000 and you had no proof he did it.
00:01:17.180 No, I did, because he said what...
00:01:18.800 He changed his story, and...
00:01:20.420 But you've never said two things
00:01:21.760 that contradicted yourself ever.
00:01:23.540 I have.
00:01:25.100 I just...
00:01:25.520 But this happens when you talk.
00:01:26.760 You know, it's very easy to say the wrong thing
00:01:30.200 if you're being cross-examined.
00:01:31.940 Because you know what?
00:01:32.520 When you say earlier on,
00:01:33.840 where men are analysing women
00:01:35.300 and women are analysing men,
00:01:36.880 he's looking at you like,
00:01:37.760 rah, so you're going to argue
00:01:39.300 against me picking up my kids.
00:01:40.760 You want to...
00:01:41.080 But I knew he wasn't.
00:01:41.880 It's different.
00:01:42.840 It don't matter whether you know
00:01:43.700 he's not, or it is, yeah?
00:01:45.120 In his head,
00:01:46.400 rah, hold on,
00:01:47.500 I'm telling you something about my kids,
00:01:49.240 and you're arguing against my kids.
00:01:50.380 Because to him,
00:01:52.500 the kids are the main priority.
00:01:54.000 But even so,
00:01:54.060 does he have a right to privacy?
00:01:56.920 Of course.
00:01:57.860 I'm not a possessive person.
00:01:59.280 Maybe there was something
00:01:59.940 that he just didn't want you to know.
00:02:01.360 Maybe he was private with the mud.
00:02:03.340 You know, I mean,
00:02:04.240 baby mama situations can be tricky.
00:02:06.720 Sometimes guys don't want to get you in
00:02:08.700 on all the drama.
00:02:10.060 But it's like,
00:02:10.680 you're going into it in bad faith,
00:02:12.440 so you're assuming the worst,
00:02:13.660 when maybe it wasn't the worst.
00:02:15.100 But I also feel like,
00:02:16.280 it's just the way you conduct yourself
00:02:17.420 in a sensitive situation as well.
00:02:18.960 But couldn't we say that to you, though?
00:02:21.960 Because it's the way,
00:02:22.580 like, you didn't listen
00:02:23.320 when he said leave.
00:02:24.720 So it's kind of like,
00:02:25.740 as women,
00:02:26.120 we kind of have this double standard
00:02:27.460 where we make him the bad guy
00:02:28.820 when it's like,
00:02:29.300 you kind of started it.
00:02:30.420 But then, oh yeah,
00:02:31.220 I remember now,
00:02:31.800 also the reason was,
00:02:33.000 like, I've stayed in the house
00:02:33.960 by myself before,
00:02:34.740 and at this point,
00:02:35.400 he didn't want me to stay.
00:02:36.680 So it's like,
00:02:37.520 if you love me,
00:02:38.740 why can't I stay here
00:02:39.500 while you go and pick up your child,
00:02:40.820 do what you need to do,
00:02:41.460 and I'll stay here tonight,
00:02:42.220 and you come back.
00:02:42.700 Because you don't want me there.
00:02:43.880 Because that's entitlement.
00:02:45.680 It's not your house.
00:02:46.360 Like, if I own this apartment,
00:02:50.460 if I want anyone to leave
00:02:52.400 at any time,
00:02:53.320 I have the right to do that.
00:02:55.560 Absolutely.
00:02:56.260 But that wasn't the issue.
00:02:57.500 Honestly, I didn't have an issue with that.
00:02:58.860 It was just the way it happened
00:02:59.920 and the things that he was saying
00:03:01.200 and the way he was speaking to me.
00:03:02.280 It's just kind of like...
00:03:02.800 But this is like a lot of problems
00:03:04.160 with women in relationships.
00:03:05.300 We want men to emote like women.
00:03:07.400 But he's not a woman.
00:03:08.480 He's a man.
00:03:09.120 Men don't speak like women do.
00:03:10.440 They're much more stern.
00:03:12.560 And so a lot of times,
00:03:13.180 we think something's aggressive,
00:03:14.520 but men are just more aggressive than women.
00:03:16.680 Maybe you might want to call him.
00:03:17.980 But we're not aggressive.
00:03:18.460 He seems like a hard man to replace.
00:03:20.040 Can we just say that?
00:03:21.000 And say sorry.
00:03:21.820 And you said in the beginning
00:03:23.080 that the men that like you,
00:03:24.500 you don't want.
00:03:25.460 So that means the men you want
00:03:26.440 don't want you.
00:03:27.420 Wow.
00:03:27.840 I haven't met the one, I think.
00:03:28.860 No, but that's like...
00:03:29.520 That's what...
00:03:29.920 Any girl that's single,
00:03:30.860 it just means the men you want
00:03:31.840 don't want you.
00:03:32.900 And it's not meant to be offensive.
00:03:33.900 The thing is,
00:03:34.240 it's actually crazy
00:03:34.960 because there's no one I actually want.
00:03:37.520 Apart from...
00:03:38.180 There's...
00:03:38.540 Okay, but...
00:03:39.040 Okay, come on.
00:03:40.020 There's nobody in the world
00:03:41.140 that you'd want.
00:03:41.920 I'm attracted to like someone,
00:03:43.280 but he's like a celebrity.
00:03:45.840 You know, like sex appeal,
00:03:47.200 but there's no one I actually want.
00:03:48.560 Okay, do you think you're on
00:03:49.340 like the level of a celebrity?
00:03:51.420 Yeah.
00:03:52.920 You're not on the level of a celebrity.
00:03:54.700 I think I am.
00:03:56.820 I think you're a fuck.
00:03:57.740 I think I am.
00:03:58.680 I think I'm...
00:03:59.680 No, you're a pretty girl.
00:04:00.840 I think I'm an amazing person
00:04:01.880 if I'm being honest.
00:04:03.700 Celebrity's like top 10,
00:04:04.940 20% of beauty.
00:04:06.320 Like that's...
00:04:06.660 Yeah, but remember,
00:04:07.380 I think I'm beautiful.
00:04:08.140 I think I'm beautiful
00:04:09.380 without the Botox,
00:04:10.520 without the money,
00:04:11.580 without all that money,
00:04:12.620 to do myself up.
00:04:13.460 So I think I'm great.
00:04:14.740 This is like a cope
00:04:15.960 I see women do.
00:04:17.060 Like it's like,
00:04:17.860 you think because they have money,
00:04:19.940 they're beautiful
00:04:20.540 when they got there.
00:04:22.120 Money helped.
00:04:22.840 But if you look at Margot Robbie
00:04:23.980 before Fame,
00:04:24.660 that girl was a 10.
00:04:25.700 I don't know who that is.
00:04:26.600 But then you're doing selectiveness
00:04:27.680 because there's enough girl
00:04:28.660 that go there
00:04:29.220 and the money glows them up only.
00:04:31.540 I disagree.
00:04:32.420 Not the girls that get there
00:04:33.300 for looks alone.
00:04:34.640 Top 20% of beauty.
00:04:36.320 You can look at exceptions
00:04:37.420 like that,
00:04:38.600 like Kylie Jenner.
00:04:40.320 She's not beautiful.
00:04:42.240 She wasn't beautiful before.
00:04:43.780 She was cute,
00:04:44.560 but yeah.
00:04:44.960 I mean,
00:04:45.260 she wasn't that beautiful.
00:04:46.080 No, she gets fixed up.
00:04:46.880 She wasn't.
00:04:47.420 But like,
00:04:47.820 I'm just saying in general,
00:04:49.040 guys,
00:04:49.540 like can we just talk in general
00:04:50.820 instead of exceptions?
00:04:51.640 Most celebrities
00:04:52.340 are top 20% of beauty
00:04:53.620 in general.
00:04:55.560 Like we could talk about,
00:04:56.500 there's some exceptions,
00:04:57.800 like Kylie Jenner
00:04:58.520 did her lips,
00:04:59.140 whatever,
00:04:59.500 but most people in Hollywood
00:05:01.300 were the top 20% of beauty
00:05:02.780 wherever they're from.
00:05:04.980 I still don't agree,
00:05:06.020 but yeah.
00:05:06.460 Okay, I feel you.
00:05:07.340 I feel you.
00:05:08.900 I don't know.
00:05:09.380 Maybe you should call him.
00:05:10.420 No, definitely not.
00:05:12.660 He might.
00:05:13.300 Oh, I'm an apology.
00:05:14.440 I don't know.
00:05:15.000 No, I have.
00:05:15.420 We had a closure,
00:05:16.880 but he's not the one for me.
00:05:18.140 He's not my soulmate.
00:05:19.140 What's the definition of the one?
00:05:20.960 I just feel like
00:05:21.580 there's a difference
00:05:22.260 in behavior
00:05:23.640 and the way you feel as well.
00:05:25.560 I'm not a possessive person.
00:05:27.080 I can accept,
00:05:27.700 I really like my independence,
00:05:29.000 but I just know
00:05:30.220 there's a certain way
00:05:31.260 that you will handle someone
00:05:32.300 in those situations.
00:05:33.420 Are you your only child?
00:05:34.260 That just wasn't,
00:05:35.160 I'm not,
00:05:35.500 no, I've got loads of brothers and sisters.
00:05:36.040 You know what it is though?
00:05:36.980 You know what it is?
00:05:37.400 Sorry, I just know within myself.
00:05:38.980 Sorry, are you your only child?
00:05:40.160 No, I've got brothers and sisters.
00:05:41.120 Are you the youngest?
00:05:42.040 I'm in the middle.
00:05:43.260 Oh, okay.
00:05:44.200 You know,
00:05:44.540 so grow,
00:05:45.100 no, go on, go on.
00:05:46.360 It's fine.
00:05:47.100 So growing up,
00:05:47.780 did your mom have a partner?
00:05:49.780 Did you have a stepdad around?
00:05:51.000 None.
00:05:51.160 Yeah, yeah,
00:05:52.060 like, no,
00:05:53.060 but not permanently.
00:05:53.960 So what,
00:05:55.540 in terms of looking up,
00:05:56.900 do you know how to look after a man?
00:05:58.300 Of course.
00:05:58.540 Like, oh, being in,
00:05:59.220 no, because you're saying certain things
00:06:00.680 that in a relationship,
00:06:01.780 it's like,
00:06:03.060 if you saw a relationship
00:06:04.720 with your mom and dad growing up,
00:06:05.860 then there's certain things
00:06:06.760 you wouldn't do in a relationship,
00:06:08.640 you get what I'm saying,
00:06:09.180 to keep the man.
00:06:10.740 Listen,
00:06:11.400 every man,
00:06:12.180 every man that's been my boyfriend
00:06:13.940 has returned
00:06:15.220 and they haven't found better.
00:06:17.320 No, it's not.
00:06:18.000 Definitely not.
00:06:18.580 Have you ever been married?
00:06:20.400 Have you ever been married?
00:06:20.760 Proposed to you?
00:06:21.420 Yeah.
00:06:22.300 You've been proposed to you?
00:06:23.560 Well, not like on one knee.
00:06:26.040 I haven't had that experience yet,
00:06:27.140 but I've had similar.
00:06:28.200 He bought you a ring?
00:06:28.780 Yes.
00:06:29.200 Oh, a promise ring.
00:06:29.700 I've had similar,
00:06:30.380 but not like that.
00:06:31.240 It was young, so.
00:06:32.060 A promise ring?
00:06:33.260 Basically, kind of like that.
00:06:34.280 Do you know what I mean?
00:06:35.040 He promised.
00:06:35.860 Okay.
00:06:36.580 It is what,
00:06:37.080 it's the same thing.
00:06:37.840 It's rare for a man to do that.
00:06:39.520 Promise rings don't count.
00:06:40.680 No, it does,
00:06:41.160 because it's rare,
00:06:41.720 because that does not count.
00:06:42.420 Do you think that men go out
00:06:43.820 and buy promise rings?
00:06:45.180 It's just a line with a gift.
00:06:46.240 I'll be honest.
00:06:47.640 Girl, I've had one.
00:06:48.820 It's not that big.
00:06:49.280 All right, pal, pal,
00:06:50.060 let me have,
00:06:51.120 but he has to really like you to be,
00:06:52.720 because he's not going to do that to everyone.
00:06:54.060 No, no, I'm not going to lie.
00:06:55.020 Okay, okay, okay.
00:06:55.320 Man will buy promise rings still.
00:06:56.520 It's never going to happen.
00:06:57.560 Wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:06:57.640 It doesn't count.
00:06:58.920 You need a wedding date.
00:06:59.980 Yeah, hundreds.
00:07:00.820 A wedding date,
00:07:01.540 not a little ring.
00:07:03.340 But I was young anyway.
00:07:04.280 No, okay,
00:07:04.800 so it wasn't a real,
00:07:05.780 it wasn't a real proposal.
00:07:07.600 No, no, no.
00:07:08.280 Okay, so the whole point is like
00:07:10.360 you're counting things that don't count.
00:07:12.140 It doesn't count
00:07:13.080 if they don't want to marry you.
00:07:14.180 No, I feel you.
00:07:14.800 Well, they do.
00:07:15.520 Their intention is to, you know.
00:07:16.360 No, no, like men say things.
00:07:17.940 When they mean it, they do it.
00:07:19.880 Like you can't count it like.
00:07:22.320 I know what you mean,
00:07:23.000 but you know, shit happens.
00:07:24.760 You know, I've had guys say,
00:07:25.860 I want to marry you.
00:07:26.860 It doesn't count unless he goes by the ring,
00:07:29.300 ask my dad.
00:07:30.340 This is, we can't like,
00:07:31.980 like I don't know why I was women.
00:07:32.940 We count things that don't count.
00:07:34.380 You know it don't count.
00:07:35.740 So pro, you've been proposed to
00:07:36.960 a couple of times or?
00:07:38.040 No, it don't count.
00:07:42.560 That's what I just said.
00:07:44.020 So no one's boot a ring and said.
00:07:47.060 No, no, no.
00:07:48.200 It doesn't, it don't count.
00:07:50.340 Like, it's like I've had a promise ring,
00:07:52.540 but it's a promise ring or wedding ring.
00:07:54.020 No, I don't count that.
00:07:56.640 But at the time we feel like it.
00:07:57.680 But did he say it was a promise ring
00:07:58.920 or did he say it's an engagement ring?
00:08:00.680 No, he said it was a promise ring
00:08:02.280 and then he said,
00:08:03.280 he was trying to,
00:08:04.520 he said, it doesn't count.
00:08:06.720 That's what I'm saying.
00:08:07.420 Financially, he was trying to get the property.
00:08:10.500 I'm not going to do it.
00:08:11.620 It doesn't count.
00:08:14.400 Okay, how,
00:08:15.500 so everyone went, right?
00:08:16.780 How does a guy identify a good woman?
00:08:18.540 Yeah, mandem time.
00:08:19.980 Okay.
00:08:21.060 All right, men,
00:08:21.980 if you want to say,
00:08:22.800 how do I,
00:08:23.940 one,
00:08:24.560 are any of you with a good woman?
00:08:26.900 Like,
00:08:27.160 anyone married?
00:08:28.260 Anyone married?
00:08:29.000 We're not married yet.
00:08:29.840 No, no,
00:08:30.680 no married.
00:08:31.200 Okay,
00:08:31.340 I just wanted to get,
00:08:32.160 okay.
00:08:32.540 How do you find a good woman?
00:08:34.040 How do I find one?
00:08:35.120 Yeah,
00:08:35.380 identify one.
00:08:37.220 I think a good woman,
00:08:39.560 I can't,
00:08:40.120 I can't tell a good woman straight away.
00:08:42.400 It has to be along the course of time.
00:08:44.220 She needs to be how I want,
00:08:46.760 when I want,
00:08:47.840 when I need her to be.
00:08:49.460 And I won't get that
00:08:50.620 from the first look basis.
00:08:52.660 Do you know what I mean?
00:08:53.460 So I think a first,
00:08:55.180 a good woman to me
00:08:56.380 is a woman that has
00:08:58.820 good family values,
00:09:00.960 that know how to
00:09:01.560 be around her family,
00:09:04.100 that has a good relationship
00:09:05.000 with her dad,
00:09:06.360 submissive,
00:09:11.280 caring,
00:09:11.900 nurturing,
00:09:14.620 healthy,
00:09:19.020 and how do you know a good one?
00:09:25.380 So right now,
00:09:26.180 this is what you have to do.
00:09:27.140 You have to see her for three months,
00:09:29.020 ask her to make you a coffee.
00:09:31.020 No,
00:09:31.260 I'm free.
00:09:32.060 Yeah, yeah, yeah, go for it.
00:09:32.540 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:09:32.860 The three month thing.
00:09:34.020 Yeah, yeah.
00:09:34.500 Three months.
00:09:36.520 Yeah.
00:09:37.180 This is for the woman
00:09:38.420 you picked to marry,
00:09:39.480 so like, okay.
00:09:40.560 And you can make edits,
00:09:41.700 so it's okay.
00:09:42.400 Many of you know,
00:09:43.100 I was just banned on TikTok
00:09:45.140 and we are demonetized
00:09:46.860 on a daily basis
00:09:48.120 on this platform.
00:09:50.000 If you want to help,
00:09:51.380 please consider sending
00:09:52.500 a super thanks below.
00:09:54.440 Every donation helps
00:09:55.760 and it helps make
00:09:56.600 what we do possible.