JustPearlyThings - TRAD Woman Shares Experience As a WIFE

00:00:00.000 okay tell me about being a wife your day yeah tell me what your day is like so i wake up between

00:00:06.560 6 and 6 30 to do bible study um and see my husband off to work and yeah do you feed him

00:00:16.640 before he goes to work yeah oh no he doesn't like eating okay he's not fast i mean he might

00:00:22.000 like grab cereal or something but he's not really fast to be honest and i don't make him pack lunch

00:00:26.080 he just he's not fast so i used to but yeah but um he yes i see my husband off and as of six weeks

00:00:35.040 ago my daughter decided she wanted to go secondary school so now i see her off to secondary school

00:00:40.960 and my husband takes her and then after i do my bible study a child will catch me go upstairs brush

00:00:48.880 their teeth and get them fed and then um we'll listen to some music and then after some music

00:00:56.800 um and performance time mommy watch me then we'll get into homeschooling so i homeschool three of the

00:01:02.960 kids and then my eldest one goes to how long does that take you every day for the homeschooling i'm

00:01:08.240 just curious oh it varies roughly on on average about four hours four hours a day on average yeah

00:01:14.640 but then it just depends on the kids sometimes they they're not with it so um yeah and then it comes

00:01:22.240 to lunch time which is around the time where i make lunch i make dinner and then i get the kids to tidy up

00:01:30.480 and then we go out get their sister from school then we come back sister does the homework her homework

00:01:37.760 then she tells me her stories and like we have a little bit of mum and daughter time kids are

00:01:43.520 playing and then we um tidy up again before dad comes home depending on what i look like i'll either

00:01:50.160 like spruce up or if i've got stains on my clothes from food i quickly change just like i look presentable

00:01:57.680 then that's so cute we usher husband in then he comes and the kids do their whole dancing act oh daddy 0.66

00:02:05.360 you watch me this is what i did today and i leave them to it then he'll join me in the kitchen while

00:02:10.800 i prepare everyone for dinner and that's when he'll ask me is do you need help with anything and if i do

00:02:18.720 i'll give him my list if i don't then he'll go back to the front room after our little chat then we have

00:02:23.680 dinner and then um the kids before the kids go to bed will like do like a devotional together

00:02:31.760 um everyone prays for each other then the kids go up to bed then my husband will go up and pray for

00:02:38.560 them and i sit down and process then my husband comes back down then we sit we chill we watch a

00:02:47.200 movie we laugh whatever and then if i'm being honest he'll probably go up to bed first and then i sit down

00:02:54.960 in process and then force myself to go to bed when my body's exhausted and then i go to bed and stuff

00:03:01.920 may happen at night stuff may not happen at night then i do it all over again and on the weekend then

00:03:09.280 the stepsons come over and then there's football and then there's church and then there's food bank

00:03:15.440 just something's always happening do you have time to go to the club in between i'm just curious no but

00:03:20.400 honestly when me and my husband want to get to livo like we just pick what the date nights are gonna

00:03:28.320 look like so it's like it could be like a chilled one or it could be like oh this are you saying you

00:03:34.240 don't have time to go to the club on the weekends i do not have time to go to the club oh no actually

00:03:39.920 i do have a mummy's day off let me not lie every every day in the week i do have a day off to myself

00:03:46.480 where i i run away and that's usually the day that my husband works from home so then he'll have the

00:03:52.000 kids and he'll work from home and i'm somewhere with a girlfriend or something but then if that

00:03:58.720 can't work i will book an evening on a weekend and i will go out with the girls but yeah yeah that's

00:04:06.080 what it looks like do you go carnival no i was just checking i was just checking

00:04:11.440 what's your background your culture where'd you come from ghana okay we're all from ghana and what

00:04:24.080 meals can you cook english meals african meals west indian meals indian meals yeah yeah any what to be

00:04:33.760 honest what if i fancy it i'll learn it i'll learn to cook it so i technically i can cook anything

00:04:45.200 but like in my locker i i can cook a variety of meals and what what lifestyle changes did you have

00:04:51.840 to make from being single to being married so there were in the beginning there was two incomes

00:04:58.320 and i said to my husband i well i was pregnant at this time i was like someone's business what's

00:05:02.160 gonna happen with the baby because i don't i didn't want to do the nursery thing like because

00:05:06.240 they can't speak i don't know what's happening um and he was like well i'm not gonna stop working

00:05:12.080 and i said okay well you can go part-time and i can go part-time he was like no

00:05:16.080 so i didn't go back to work because i want to be with my kids and he wouldn't yield so i didn't have a

00:05:23.680 choice what do you mean he wouldn't yield he wouldn't go he wouldn't go part-time you really expect him to

00:05:28.320 say yes a little to be honest when i first came into being a wife it was a big shock to the system 0.71

00:05:35.120 because the things in my head was not what it was in reality obviously i i don't know a man i don't

00:05:40.400 i i know what i'd like a man to be like so i asked him with i came boldly that's like emasculating in

00:05:46.560 the minute you go you work part-time i work part-time on the same level he's like no in my head it's like

00:05:51.360 yes yes we are on the same yield and he was unyielding and then i was with the dilemma i love

00:05:57.280 him i either go and having on working and park my kids or i stay at home with my kids and stay at

00:06:03.840 home with my kids and it worked and what does it change do you have to do from the two wages two

00:06:09.280 incomes to one so full transparency and i hope my husband wouldn't mind but he makes the money and

00:06:16.960 he hands it all over to me so i know what i'm working with and what i want and what i don't

00:06:25.520 want and i just i work with what i have do you understand she's quoting me isn't she no women

00:06:33.040 work with what their husband brings in that's basically my love isn't it but like but praise

00:06:37.680 god my husband's like that because i don't think i would be like calm if i couldn't see money but like

00:06:44.880 i on his payday it's my payday because the work drops in his account and by midnight i'll see my

00:06:52.720 bank account fluctuate you mean you don't have to beg him or ask him for money no because i i i divvy up

00:07:00.880 the money so he'll keep what he needs for now i was just saying that because somebody said that in

00:07:05.840 traditional women when they don't work in their house works that it means that they're slaves and 1.00

00:07:09.440 they have to beg the husband for money no yeah is it horrible yeah that's what they said it's horrible

00:07:16.000 no because i have all the money so if i and my husband trusts me so if i if i want to spend the

00:07:20.640 money on a shopping spree he knows that everything else is covered how did you how did you know you

00:07:25.600 wouldn't just be destitute you know i i didn't but i i didn't but i hoped for that he could just leave

00:07:34.720 you destitute high and dry i mean to be honest he still could and my mom has said to me you know

00:07:39.200 i'll have a private pot there that he doesn't know about just in case yeah and all the aunties and moms

00:07:44.880 they will say that just in case he leaves you high and dry kind of thing but like you ain't get nowhere

00:07:50.640 he ain't getting nowhere if he wasn't i'm coming after him i mean i just i don't like you like you 0.90

00:07:56.000 said about um not holding onto negative thoughts and stuff like that i mean what is the point i'm

00:08:02.320 living life for today so i'm just gonna live do you know what i mean do you feel like your marriage

00:08:06.720 could have still worked if you weren't able willing to give up control no because and so this is what

00:08:12.000 i'm saying when i got into my marriage i was very controlling more controlling than i ever could

00:08:18.720 understand and i started to change because he started to change because he told me i i'm

00:08:27.920 suffocating him that's what he said to me and it made me feel sad so like i had to work it out but

00:08:34.560 my excuse was my big crutch was well i've been a single mom so i had to control everything and i

00:08:39.360 didn't have a man i'm working out but actually i was unyielding like i did not want to

00:08:45.360 like i was not nice man did you have couple counseling no we didn't he didn't want to go

00:08:54.240 you just worked out how long did it take you to have that switch would you say

00:09:00.400 she's still switching no not really i'm still working honestly i'm still working out but i think

00:09:05.040 i'm just not defensive anymore so he could say like babe like kind of thing and i'll be like oh okay

00:09:10.720 sorry but at the same time like he had some passive tendencies as well and i'll be like babe like

00:09:16.160 make a decision and he'll be like listen i got it i'll get back to you whereas before it'll be like

00:09:21.120 oh i don't know i don't know i don't know so like we're still working out but as the years go on like

00:09:27.760 i say like this is our eighth year into marriage sounds like you're going like that but you used to

00:09:32.960 her like that that was you yeah that was him yeah i was somewhere yeah i was somewhere but i we're

00:09:39.840 making we've made it to middle ground and now we're just like maintaining it like sometimes i go left

00:09:46.080 sometimes he goes left but we know where our middle ground is and like we maintain it it is it it's an

00:09:52.560 ongoing thing it's a journey it's not his destination marriage is hard work though as many of you know i was

00:09:58.640 just banned on tick tock and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform if you want to help

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JustPearlyThings - March 22, 2023

TRAD Woman Shares Experience As a WIFE

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