JustPearlyThings - April 22, 2023


Traditional Woman Gets Corrupted By Western Culture

Topics
brainwashing
Hosted by
Hannah Pearl Davis
Mentioned
Miss Independent Daughter Pearl Lady
What Is A HIGH VALUE Woman？？ This Was The Most Honest Interview Ever

Episode Stats


Length

13 minutes

Words per minute

197.83

Word count

2,678

Sentence count

301

Harmful content

Misogyny

8

sentences flagged

Toxicity

4

sentences flagged

Hate speech

4

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, I am joined by my good friend, Samantha, who shares her story of how she made the transition from being a modern woman to being a traditional one, and how she managed to do so. I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I enjoyed recording it!

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 Would you rather be with a man that you love, respect, and admire, and are attracted to?
00:00:04.920 Raise your hand.
00:00:06.700 Yeah.
00:00:07.120 Okay.
00:00:07.640 No-brainer.
00:00:08.540 Would you rather be alone?
00:00:09.580 Raise your hand.
00:00:10.660 Thank you.
00:00:11.480 So, by that logic, women over a certain age, it's not a choice to be... 1.00
00:00:17.020 Like, most women over a certain age would rather be with somebody.
00:00:19.920 Honey, I think you're going to get a lot of flack on that one.
00:00:22.320 I really do.
00:00:23.400 I feel like the flack is going to come to you.
00:00:25.440 I think you're going to come back to him, and then you agree with him.
00:00:28.980 It doesn't make any sense.
00:00:29.700 All right, guys, guys.
00:00:31.880 I don't think you should be saying that very fast.
00:00:34.180 Lady, lady, lady.
00:00:35.160 All right.
00:00:36.180 Lady, lady, lady.
00:00:38.080 Okay.
00:00:38.740 So, so...
00:00:39.640 Lady, my name's Samantha.
00:00:40.760 Lady, lady.
00:00:42.040 If you interrupt me one more time, you're going.
00:00:44.820 You're going.
00:00:45.760 Man's got his gloves on again, you know.
00:00:47.100 Okay.
00:00:48.260 So, guys.
00:00:49.660 Over the age of 50, would you rather be with a girl that's hot, submissive, and young, 0.99
00:00:56.460 girl than you? 0.97
00:00:58.480 Or would you rather be by yourself?
00:00:59.960 The first one.
00:01:00.860 The first.
00:01:01.460 Yeah.
00:01:01.760 Same.
00:01:02.280 Okay.
00:01:03.100 The guys don't argue with this.
00:01:04.580 It's easy.
00:01:05.660 Most people...
00:01:06.660 I don't think guys want to be alone either.
00:01:08.920 No.
00:01:10.220 Okay.
00:01:12.400 What are we talking about?
00:01:13.660 So, did you ever...
00:01:14.880 Did you tell me what you did to become traditional?
00:01:16.840 No.
00:01:17.120 I feel like you keep dodging it.
00:01:19.100 She didn't give you a list.
00:01:20.640 Keep dodging.
00:01:21.520 I just don't know what you did.
00:01:23.220 You took cooking classes.
00:01:25.100 You decided that you're going to do X, Y, Z.
00:01:26.700 You gave up social media.
00:01:27.800 What did you do?
00:01:28.340 Yeah.
00:01:28.920 Did you...
00:01:29.840 How do you explain the Holy Spirit, girl?
00:01:33.360 You know.
00:01:34.160 Let's do it.
00:01:34.640 Okay, so this is what this sounds like to me.
00:01:38.200 Now, I'm not saying this is what happened to you.
00:01:40.200 I'm saying this is what it sounds like.
00:01:42.220 So, I hear this and I hear nothing.
00:01:44.720 I got baptized.
00:01:46.720 Like, that's what it sounds like.
00:01:48.560 I got baptized and now I'm traditional.
00:01:50.500 But getting baptized doesn't make you traditional.
00:01:53.600 No, I hear you.
00:01:54.400 Yeah, it is...
00:01:56.320 I think I started to explain it earlier a little bit when I was living in a Western society
00:02:03.280 and transitioned there.
00:02:04.980 I became more modern.
00:02:06.860 But there's one thing I remember my granddad, he was...
00:02:10.160 He taught me from very young to not...
00:02:12.340 This is why...
00:02:13.420 Pearl, you made me share something that I never thought I would share in public.
00:02:17.580 Thank you for sharing.
00:02:18.160 But you know what?
00:02:18.180 Now it's open about saving myself before marriage.
00:02:23.200 I think that's beautiful.
00:02:23.840 So, this is the only thing I did.
00:02:25.540 I used to smoke cigarettes, 20 cigarettes a day.
00:02:28.020 I used to rebel in every way.
00:02:29.080 But this is the only thing that I kept because I thought, okay, if I'm going to give this up,
00:02:32.620 I'm completely away from my family and everyone else.
00:02:35.600 So, because my granddad and my parents instilled that from me from young...
00:02:39.060 I actually...
00:02:39.640 The way I did it was wrong as well because the way that you get this thought, it's like
00:02:43.640 sex is bad, right? 0.95
00:02:44.840 Or I don't know if I'm allowed to say this, but sex is bad. 0.99
00:02:48.260 So, this is...
00:02:48.860 It was more like a fear-based and that kept me away, which is not a healthy way.
00:02:53.280 When I had an inner conviction after, it is changing my environment.
00:02:57.940 It is wanting more.
00:03:00.300 It is going into deep depression, searching, you know, going up the career ladder as a
00:03:06.200 modern woman, Miss Independent, and thinking that when you reach that level, you're going 0.53
00:03:12.460 to be happy.
00:03:13.340 And then later realizing you reach that level and you're not happy.
00:03:16.260 And that's when I started to ask questions.
00:03:18.120 There must be more.
00:03:19.220 Maybe I'm not an independent woman.
00:03:20.840 Maybe there is more.
00:03:21.780 And it's by starting asking those questions and, you know, just searching for the truth
00:03:27.600 desperately, trying to go from one thing to the next until I realized it's my faith.
00:03:32.060 It's the only thing that can give me full fulfillment.
00:03:34.480 That's how I made the transition.
00:03:36.340 It's just, you know...
00:03:37.740 So, you quit cigarettes?
00:03:40.000 It sounds like you stopped going out.
00:03:42.740 Yeah, I used to live in London.
00:03:44.880 I lived in the UK and traveled.
00:03:46.700 But, yeah, I used to live in London, the uni life, did the clubbing scene, which is really
00:03:54.260 tough as a, you know, when you don't go to the next step with a man.
00:03:58.960 And it always felt wrong.
00:04:01.000 Even when I was rebelling, it always felt wrong.
00:04:04.400 So, I hope I answered the question.
00:04:07.100 Yeah.
00:04:09.260 Is she leaving?
00:04:11.440 Is she going...
00:04:12.700 Is she either goes...
00:04:14.320 What?
00:04:14.540 She wants a drink? 0.99
00:04:17.380 Well, have Helen give it to her.
00:04:18.920 She's either in the bathroom or she's sitting down.
00:04:21.740 I'll have to some water.
00:04:22.720 Okay.
00:04:23.200 What?
00:04:23.820 I'll have this water.
00:04:25.040 Yeah.
00:04:26.680 My girl's late.
00:04:29.240 Yeah, just...
00:04:30.260 I mean, not...
00:04:31.260 I think she's had enough alcohol. 0.91
00:04:32.900 Okay.
00:04:33.080 Yeah.
00:04:35.020 Okay.
00:04:36.040 Thank you.
00:04:36.700 Sorry.
00:04:38.200 What would you give up for the right guy?
00:04:40.900 It's actually not easy for me to answer that question.
00:04:47.620 I don't know.
00:04:48.100 Because from what I experienced, I got married.
00:04:52.200 I came from Iran to the UK.
00:04:55.020 And then I got divorced.
00:04:56.740 I had a daughter.
00:04:57.740 I've been a single mom for eight years.
00:04:59.520 And I kind of feel like for the last eight years living with my daughter, it's kind of taught me a lot about being independent.
00:05:07.580 I had to.
00:05:08.500 So I kind of feel like I...
00:05:11.420 My personality built up quite a lot.
00:05:14.140 I mean, I felt like having a child and because I've always been looked after by my dad as a culture in Iran.
00:05:21.980 And then I came here and got married.
00:05:23.640 So I was working, but obviously I had my husband.
00:05:27.200 So I think...
00:05:28.420 So I kind of understand her in a way of tradition.
00:05:32.300 Because when you live in that sort of country that you've been brainwashed since you were a child that, you know, when you go out, be careful.
00:05:39.820 Nobody should touch you.
00:05:40.880 I mean, we have this in the UK as well.
00:05:43.120 You don't think that's a good thing?
00:05:45.080 It's a good thing because I'm teaching that to my daughter.
00:05:47.680 But we've been brainwashed in a way of we've been so scared.
00:05:50.840 But even when I had a boyfriend, I was like, I was not relaxed.
00:05:55.480 So I couldn't go on holiday with him because I was...
00:05:58.100 I shouldn't sleep with him.
00:05:59.780 And it was so kind of like so confusing because you've grew up in a different culture, completely different culture.
00:06:06.720 And now when I'm watching my daughter at school, she's 16, she's a teenager.
00:06:11.280 She's going out.
00:06:12.080 She's going to like Brighton.
00:06:13.900 She's going out with her friend.
00:06:15.060 I invite her friends, whether girl or boy, it doesn't make any difference to me anymore because I just learned from her that girl and boy are not making any difference.
00:06:24.140 If you are, you know, going to school in a, you know, mixed school.
00:06:27.360 But we never had that sort of thing in Iran.
00:06:29.780 So don't you don't you think it's bad?
00:06:32.620 Like, that's a good thing to have less sexual partners, though.
00:06:35.840 Like, that doesn't seem like a bad like you said brainwashed. 0.63
00:06:38.300 Like, that was a bad thing in a way of when I say brainwashed, I don't mean like, you know, my parents keep telling me you shouldn't have, you know, sex with your boyfriend.
00:06:48.700 I was not even allowed to have a boyfriend. 0.53
00:06:51.140 That's a good thing.
00:06:52.540 No, I don't think it's a good thing at all.
00:06:54.640 Because how did you get married then?
00:06:56.920 It was arranged.
00:06:57.540 Oh, it was arranged.
00:06:58.500 Yeah, it was arranged.
00:06:59.320 And then you said you also I noticed something you said.
00:07:01.780 You said you had to be a single mother.
00:07:04.440 Did he file for divorce?
00:07:06.100 No, I filed it for divorce.
00:07:07.600 So isn't that a choice then?
00:07:10.100 No, it was my choice.
00:07:11.520 It was my choice.
00:07:12.880 And I think if I was in Iran, I would probably do it. 1.00
00:07:16.160 I wouldn't do it because it was lots of family where.
00:07:19.220 Right.
00:07:19.660 But when you said like you had to be a single, like you said you chose to be a single mother and you had to be independent.
00:07:26.500 And so that's not but that's not correct.
00:07:29.100 It seems like unless there was some sort of abuse or something.
00:07:33.520 No, it wasn't abuse at all.
00:07:35.240 But we kind of got to an agreement because it's been it was like two years that I wanted.
00:07:40.620 I was thinking about divorce.
00:07:41.840 And then I had a chat with my ex-husband and he didn't want to get divorced.
00:07:45.680 But I wanted to because I didn't want to live.
00:07:48.160 I didn't want to be living with someone who I am not.
00:07:51.540 I don't love anymore.
00:07:52.700 So I just didn't want to like the feeling went away because did you love him before?
00:07:57.540 Did you never love him?
00:07:58.460 No, obviously, I loved him.
00:08:00.480 But I think it was so many different things he told me because he was an arranged wedding.
00:08:04.920 And we kind of did online meeting because I was in Iran and he was in England.
00:08:09.800 So he was telling me, for example, I'm very sporty and he was saying I do horse riding.
00:08:14.060 I do tennis.
00:08:14.820 I do this.
00:08:15.460 I do this.
00:08:15.940 And, you know, when I when when we were together, I was like, you said you're going to the gym every day and you're doing this.
00:08:21.900 And I was like, I never seen you out of the house.
00:08:25.200 And he was literally going to work and coming back and sleeping on the sofa, watching TV.
00:08:29.180 So that was my life.
00:08:30.180 And I never chose to do that life because even when I was back in Iran, I was very sporty.
00:08:35.220 I was very, you know, outgoing and I love friends.
00:08:38.360 He never come out with my friends because he was thinking he was not social.
00:08:42.320 But I didn't really know because we didn't really had a chance to go out.
00:08:46.300 Did you did you know that before you had a kid?
00:08:49.460 Yeah.
00:08:50.180 Yeah.
00:08:50.620 OK.
00:08:51.020 So then why did you keep going if you got because, you know, that's a very good question.
00:08:54.680 Why do you keep going and then have the kid if you do?
00:08:57.220 That's a very good question.
00:08:58.100 So basically because I was scared to tell my parents that I want to get divorced and I didn't have I wasn't I didn't have a child that time.
00:09:06.560 And I was thinking for two years how to tell them that I don't want to live with him anymore.
00:09:11.480 And I want to got I want to get divorced.
00:09:13.340 Yeah.
00:09:13.440 But you know what they were telling me?
00:09:15.200 I think the reason is because you're very lonely, because obviously it was difficult for me to come from Iran, which I had no friends.
00:09:21.900 I had no one here and I only had him.
00:09:24.600 And then it's difficult to recognize whether I'm depressed and because of the depression and I'm lonely and I'm feeling, you know, out of my country.
00:09:35.540 I don't have my family, I don't have my friends, I don't have anyone.
00:09:38.240 And I was so depressed.
00:09:39.620 I felt like, could it be my depression that I don't love him anymore?
00:09:42.880 I don't want to be with him anymore.
00:09:44.180 Or maybe maybe if I was older and I was more aware of what's happening, if I had some, you know, more experienced friends telling me, go to a psychologist, go to a coach and see what is wrong with you.
00:09:56.700 Maybe there's something wrong with you.
00:09:58.140 But it was I didn't have any of those.
00:10:00.320 No, and I understand what you're saying.
00:10:02.120 Like the the what I'm disagreeing on is when you said you had to be a single mother, like you had no choice in it when it seems like everything was your choice.
00:10:11.540 Yeah, no, like you had to be independent, but it seems like you chose to be independent.
00:10:16.180 I chose to be independent.
00:10:17.660 Right.
00:10:17.960 So it's like kind of when we talk to the next generation, it's like, sorry, we make it seem like there was no choice when it was all your choice.
00:10:25.260 No, actually, you're right.
00:10:26.180 It was my choice.
00:10:27.000 So I got divorced without telling my parents and I got pregnant because it was I just thought my mom kept telling me, you know, you need to have a child.
00:10:38.380 Maybe you won't be lonely.
00:10:39.920 And then, you know, just don't because they don't that time.
00:10:43.540 They never wanted me or even my sister to get divorced.
00:10:47.100 I mean, it was I brought up in a very traditional family.
00:10:50.280 Do you have a daughter or son?
00:10:51.640 Daughter.
00:10:52.100 Daughter.
00:10:52.400 Was that hard on her?
00:10:53.540 Her parents getting how old was she when you guys got divorced? 1.00
00:10:56.040 Three, three years old.
00:10:57.380 Yeah.
00:10:57.780 So luckily, she was very young to completely understand what is going on.
00:11:01.780 But I guess, obviously, she got hurt a few times, especially when we were having.
00:11:07.520 Do you think that the culture that you come from is what gave you that fear of not wanting to tell your mom, your dad?
00:11:15.160 Yeah, 100%.
00:11:15.440 100%.
00:11:16.280 Do you think if you were still in that culture that you'd still be married?
00:11:20.080 Yeah.
00:11:20.900 And I'm so happy that I break the ice.
00:11:23.600 And I kind of like in my family, I think probably I'm the only one did that.
00:11:28.860 And after that, actually, my cousins got divorced.
00:11:31.780 It's kind of like become more easy.
00:11:34.240 Would you say it's fair to say that women, single women kind of help others in divorce?
00:11:39.460 Like you sort of inspired that divorce or no?
00:11:42.260 Is that not fair to say?
00:11:44.040 You mean I inspired people to get divorced?
00:11:47.160 Yeah.
00:11:47.400 That's what you mean?
00:11:47.860 I've just noticed in like friend groups that it's like one gets divorced and the other
00:11:53.220 and the other.
00:11:53.900 It seems like it's almost.
00:11:54.820 I saw, I experienced that.
00:11:57.980 I don't know with me if my friends got divorced after me.
00:12:01.980 I don't think so.
00:12:03.300 But I think so many people say when a friend gets divorced, normally people like, oh, if
00:12:08.480 she can do it, probably I can do it.
00:12:11.360 And to be honest, so many girls, they want to get divorced, but they won't because of so 0.99
00:12:16.020 many things.
00:12:16.560 It can't be just culture.
00:12:18.220 Isn't that a good thing?
00:12:20.300 To be honest, I prefer to be single than being in a really sad relationship, even if I have
00:12:27.400 children.
00:12:28.100 That's what I think.
00:12:29.180 Yeah.
00:12:29.460 Like, but to me, it's like, isn't the kid's feelings more?
00:12:32.080 And I'm not even trying to shame you.
00:12:33.300 I'm just like wondering what your mindset was.
00:12:35.460 Yeah.
00:12:35.680 Because in my head, it's like the kid is more important than my feelings.
00:12:38.860 Like what made you consider your feelings before the kid?
00:12:42.400 I still, even though I might look, everyone's saying you look so, you know,
00:12:46.560 you're proud of what you've done.
00:12:49.920 And that time I couldn't say that.
00:12:52.380 So I was living with my regret because of my daughter, not regret, but kind of like shame.
00:12:59.000 It's a better word for me to use it.
00:13:00.860 That time when I got divorced, I felt like, oh my God, maybe, maybe I shouldn't do it
00:13:04.340 because of her.
00:13:05.080 So everything was like, I shouldn't do it.
00:13:07.240 That's why it took me two, three years to make a proper decision to, you know, apply
00:13:12.640 for divorce because I was, I understand that.
00:13:14.880 I was so worried about my daughter.
00:13:17.060 I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
00:13:23.580 If you want to help, please consider sending a super thanks below.
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