JustPearlyThings - March 16, 2023


Traditional Woman's Thoughts on Alimony


Episode Stats


Length

11 minutes

Words per minute

200.5043

Word count

2,253

Sentence count

217

Harmful content

Misogyny

10

sentences flagged

Hate speech

5

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about divorce and what it means to be a modern day executive wife. We talk about the benefits and drawbacks of being a stay at home mom vs. working a 9-5 job. We also talk about child support, alimony and prenups.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Kevin Samuels would always talk about like an executive wife. 0.54
00:00:02.960 What's an executive marriage? 0.84
00:00:04.760 So the executive wife, you know, I see a little bit of that in me. 0.84
00:00:09.280 So that is usually maybe a second marriage or when someone's older and there aren't going to be children involved.
00:00:14.980 Right. So you are basically marrying maybe a one percent or a type of man or a high value man that needs you to be a support system to him,
00:00:26.480 be the feminine asset to support his brand, make sure you can conduct yourself in any circumstance.
00:00:33.720 We used to hear on Kevin's show a lot of times, well, I can get together when?
00:00:37.920 Well, no, he kind of needs you to be on all the time because you never know when someone is going to call you and say, hey, we're doing this thing.
00:00:44.760 So the executive marriage is really not the like soccer mom, which I love that there was a time for that.
00:00:51.720 But second time around for me, it would be more of a support system to a high value man.
00:00:56.480 Mm hmm. And then we got to put modern marriage in here, too. 1.00
00:01:01.440 Yeah, that one I'm not too well versed in, but I know there's different types of marriages and there are millennials and other people who get married and maybe the 50-50 can work.
00:01:12.760 The only thing I would say about that, circling back to what we said 20 years from now, if you're working 40 hours and he's working 40 hours and maybe you all choose not to have children
00:01:21.920 and you just use your disposable income to travel and all that, I would still say as a woman, you're going to want to slow it down. 1.00
00:01:31.380 And to a man, the way he looks at it is, wait a minute, you're flipping the script on me.
00:01:36.260 You said we were going to ride this out. We're going to go 40 years hard in the paint.
00:01:40.020 I'm still going, you know, saddle up. Let's go. And you're kind of like, oh, man, 6 a.m. again.
00:01:45.600 Do we have to do it? And it's hard to see that far ahead when you're in your 20s.
00:01:49.640 But, you know, with communication, you can make it work.
00:01:52.740 If you don't want to have children, you need to say that. 0.99
00:01:54.880 Don't lead anybody down that path if that's not what you want.
00:01:57.820 Yeah.
00:01:59.400 Gosh, that is such a great point with the, I never thought about the, like, later in life, like, women aren't going to want to work as much. 0.88
00:02:07.680 Yeah.
00:02:08.040 So even if it's 50-50 now, it doesn't mean it will be 50-50 forever.
00:02:12.260 Exactly.
00:02:12.660 What do you think, what do you think about, do you think women should be entitled to money after marriage?
00:02:21.140 Entitled? No.
00:02:23.400 Like, what do you think about child support, alimony? Like, what's your, what's your opinion on that stuff?
00:02:29.000 So I have to tread lightly here because I know there are a lot of people that, you know, this is their situation.
00:02:34.020 And I understand, believe me.
00:02:36.540 So alimony is just money to make sure that a woman is not destitute. 0.94
00:02:43.120 I think it has turned into, you know, I hit the lottery.
00:02:46.360 So let's talk about alimony.
00:02:48.140 And I am a believer, you know, in prenups.
00:02:50.400 So this is something that you have to talk about.
00:02:52.260 But if a woman, the way I believe, and I'm no attorney, but I believe that if it was a woman that was a stay-at-home mom,
00:02:59.800 she gave up her career, dedicated herself to the family, she's been out of the workforce for 20 years,
00:03:05.000 and for whatever reason the marriage ends, if she's not able to get right back into it for a period of time,
00:03:13.240 I hate alimony because that's kind of enforced, but I understand why it's there.
00:03:18.780 I would hope that, you know, not all divorces have to be horrible.
00:03:22.680 And if you have the type of relationship where you were a good woman, you know, to this man,
00:03:27.360 I would think he would want to make sure the mother of his children is not destitute.
00:03:32.700 So...
00:03:33.100 I think most men, it's just like when the girls start to get crazy. 0.57
00:03:37.160 Oh my goodness, yeah.
00:03:38.040 Like, I think a lot, like girls would get a lot, well, they probably wouldn't get a lot more because of the legal structure. 1.00
00:03:44.400 But I think, like, I think of my grandparents, one side were separated.
00:03:50.200 And it was funny because they were separated, but they just, like, still acted like they were married.
00:03:54.580 Absolutely, absolutely.
00:03:55.680 I mean, it's doable.
00:03:57.140 My ex-husband and I, a lot of the boys' teachers didn't even know that we were divorced.
00:04:02.420 We would show up at the events together, parent-teacher conference, I'm putting stuff on his calendar.
00:04:06.800 Like, it doesn't have to be bad if you know that, okay, the marriage isn't working, but you still are, you know, good people to each other.
00:04:14.840 I just think most, if it's reasonable, I think that most men would want to make sure that you're okay.
00:04:21.220 But that means that, okay, you know what, maybe I need to go back to school and get a certificate.
00:04:25.220 Maybe it's going to take me 18 months or I'm going to start working part-time and then get my way back up.
00:04:29.740 Like, you have to come with something.
00:04:31.140 You can't just sit back and say, take care of me until, you know, forever.
00:04:36.500 That's just me.
00:04:37.360 I know a lot of people have strong opinions about that.
00:04:39.460 But I'm a boy mom, so I see things differently now.
00:04:42.300 I'm very passionate about that.
00:04:43.520 So, after observing me for a couple days, what do I need to improve on the most?
00:04:49.400 Oh, perfect.
00:04:50.140 Are you sure you want to?
00:04:51.180 Am I going to get banned?
00:04:52.460 No, you won't be banned.
00:04:53.360 Okay.
00:04:53.800 I can take it.
00:04:55.040 I can take it.
00:04:55.920 Well, I have to start.
00:04:57.140 We'll do the compliment sandwich.
00:04:58.420 Like I said yesterday, and I mean it, you really, really are driven to get things right, and I think that's great.
00:05:04.740 You are a little scattered.
00:05:06.700 Sometimes when I watch your streams, it's a little bit all over the place.
00:05:10.300 And I've had to work on that communication.
00:05:12.220 I've gotten feedback that I shout when I talk.
00:05:14.540 So, I've had to really work on making sure that my...
00:05:17.100 You've got such a soft voice.
00:05:18.980 Thank you.
00:05:20.240 That is a huge compliment because I used to be a little bit all over the place, too.
00:05:25.000 So, like we said in the beginning, you can get better.
00:05:28.240 I really wish your attire was...
00:05:32.160 I knew this was coming.
00:05:34.800 Pearl, you... 0.96
00:05:35.200 I knew this was coming.
00:05:36.880 Melody's helping me this week on the fashion episode.
00:05:39.060 Thank you, Melody.
00:05:39.980 Get here where you can.
00:05:41.600 Melody's coming.
00:05:43.300 Okay.
00:05:43.940 And just...
00:05:44.360 Because I've had to work on that, too.
00:05:46.160 I understand, especially as either moms or I know you're an athlete, sometimes we just want to dress for comfort.
00:05:51.960 And I got that feedback, too, that I would just wear kind of what was comfortable and baggy.
00:05:56.920 And it just didn't represent me well.
00:05:59.120 And especially as, you know, since I have whale tendencies, I've got to make sure that I represent myself well.
00:06:04.280 I used to think, oh, it's so much work.
00:06:06.800 I've got to do all that.
00:06:08.160 It's not.
00:06:08.920 I did work with a stylist.
00:06:10.040 I had to hire someone to help me understand my body type and what works well and kind of put like a capsule wardrobe in place that you kind of make a uniform for yourself.
00:06:19.900 These things work on me, and it's kind of rinse and repeat.
00:06:22.520 So getting there was a little hard, but you can definitely do it.
00:06:26.520 So communication, a little bit more direct.
00:06:31.380 The attire, because we're talking about getting Pearl ready for a husband, right?
00:06:35.880 Yeah.
00:06:36.060 No, I...
00:06:37.200 The clothes, I know I need to get better.
00:06:39.600 Okay.
00:06:40.360 It's like I get so overwhelmed sometimes.
00:06:42.780 You do a lot.
00:06:43.640 This is a lot.
00:06:44.260 Because I'll be like getting ready, and I'm just like, I can't get anything that looks good, and then I just give up because I get so frustrated.
00:06:52.100 Absolutely right.
00:06:52.580 Because I'll spend like 10 minutes, and I'll hate everything, and I'm like...
00:06:55.820 Yeah, that's one of the exercises we had to do.
00:06:58.040 It was hard.
00:06:58.740 She made me take everything out of my closet, and she said, try it on.
00:07:01.900 So I had to put everything on, make sure it fit, make sure I still liked it, and I had to be able to wear it with like three other different things, like make outfits from it.
00:07:10.040 And if it didn't meet that category, we got rid of it.
00:07:12.780 So it really thins some things down.
00:07:14.700 So, yeah, I understand on that.
00:07:18.540 Let's see.
00:07:20.160 After a couple days, those will probably be my only two.
00:07:25.500 Have you asked your audience what they think you should improve on?
00:07:29.020 Yeah, what should I...
00:07:30.060 Oh, I do have one more thing.
00:07:31.520 I think I know.
00:07:32.580 Go ahead, go ahead.
00:07:33.220 Well, okay, two more things.
00:07:35.560 Yesterday when I was pushing you to get the plates ready because the kids had friends over, and everybody was hungry,
00:07:42.780 and, you know, I was like, come on, Pearl, in mom mode.
00:07:46.860 The family's hungry, and they're looking at you.
00:07:48.420 Do you remember what you said?
00:07:49.500 I said, fuck, I'm kidding.
00:07:51.060 Okay, class.
00:07:52.020 I was kidding.
00:07:52.920 I was kidding.
00:07:53.680 I was kidding.
00:07:54.440 I was kidding.
00:07:55.160 Okay, well, let's get a little differently.
00:07:58.100 I'm sorry.
00:07:58.660 Your future husband could be watching.
00:08:00.620 You're right.
00:08:01.040 You're right.
00:08:01.600 I do care about the kids.
00:08:03.060 You do care.
00:08:03.560 I do.
00:08:04.160 I do love the kids.
00:08:05.300 Okay.
00:08:05.640 I just thought it was funny.
00:08:07.260 It was kind of funny.
00:08:09.540 So you do, language is one thing.
00:08:12.260 You do kind of drop the F-bombs and, you know, a few other choice words.
00:08:17.380 But I should have known when I arrived yesterday, and, you know, it's me, and then all I hear is Pearl saying,
00:08:22.260 are the strippers here yet? 0.98
00:08:23.340 And I was like, wait a minute.
00:08:24.960 What did I get myself into?
00:08:26.360 Yeah, which if you want to see the stripper interview, go to Auntie Jenny's channel. 0.89
00:08:30.960 Yeah, so that interview was happening, like, next door while I was cooking, and when she was done,
00:08:37.400 you invited her in the kitchen to come eat, and it was just like, hi, I'm Maggie.
00:08:41.560 It was great.
00:08:42.100 Yeah, yeah, she was nice.
00:08:43.840 She was really nice.
00:08:45.000 And, yeah, the only other thing, oh, you really want me to say it?
00:08:49.620 Yeah, go ahead.
00:08:50.480 Okay, sometimes your gestures are a bit masculine.
00:08:54.400 Okay.
00:08:54.680 And I don't know if it's, like, the sport thing.
00:08:56.800 Like, you do, like, you talk with your hands.
00:08:58.460 Oh, I do.
00:08:59.300 Is that masculine?
00:09:00.600 It can be.
00:09:02.080 It's a little bit all over the place, and so it's not as, well, like, yesterday, you may or may not remember
00:09:08.580 when you were cutting the steak, and you were talking to me with a fork, and you were kind of, like, stabbing the air.
00:09:14.140 Oh, no.
00:09:14.900 Oh, no.
00:09:15.860 No.
00:09:17.220 Okay, I'm done.
00:09:17.980 I'm done.
00:09:18.440 I thought you did mine.
00:09:19.620 No, no, no.
00:09:20.000 It's okay, it's okay.
00:09:21.160 I do.
00:09:22.000 I know.
00:09:22.720 Actually, did I say what you thought I was going to say?
00:09:25.180 Yeah.
00:09:25.640 The swearing?
00:09:26.320 The swearing.
00:09:27.700 The swearing.
00:09:28.260 I try to tackle one thing at a time.
00:09:30.220 Good.
00:09:30.600 Because I get overwhelmed if I go after, like, too many things at once.
00:09:34.600 So my steps is right now cooking.
00:09:36.960 Okay.
00:09:37.880 The next thing is fashion.
00:09:39.400 Okay.
00:09:39.760 It's coming.
00:09:40.360 Okay.
00:09:41.140 I'm not going to lie.
00:09:41.660 The swearing is going to be last because I just like the F-bomb.
00:09:44.940 Hey, hey, you know what?
00:09:46.580 All I'm saying, do you.
00:09:47.880 You know, share your body count, drop the F-bombs. 1.00
00:09:50.280 It's just.
00:09:50.960 Okay.
00:09:51.820 We're not going to go that far.
00:09:53.420 It's just every now and then, a good F-bomb.
00:09:56.240 I understand.
00:09:57.200 But it's going to go.
00:09:58.620 It's going to go.
00:09:59.640 I mean, you can say it in, you know, a company of people that you trust.
00:10:04.000 But when you say it to random strangers, they're like, man, Pearl has a potty mouth.
00:10:08.180 And you just would hate for people to have that as a first impression one.
00:10:12.040 In all seriousness, y'all.
00:10:13.300 I mean, the only reason.
00:10:14.380 I mean, Pearl is absolutely, completely genuine and super sweet.
00:10:18.840 And I am so grateful to be here.
00:10:20.320 And I'm not, you know, blowing smoke.
00:10:22.220 But I remember, I'm sharing this with you because I had to go through that.
00:10:26.860 And my ex-husband was like, I don't like you using that language.
00:10:30.300 And I stopped.
00:10:31.180 So, and you take feedback really, really well.
00:10:35.980 So, that's one of those things that once you're already kind of mindful of it, it's like, yeah, I know I do that.
00:10:41.100 I need to stop.
00:10:41.880 As opposed to, we can film here.
00:10:48.320 Oh, I'm so irritated.
00:10:50.720 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:10:51.940 So, that's it.
00:10:53.360 But you've, the fact that you are aware, the fact that you are trying and you are moving with intention.
00:10:59.040 I was just banned on TikTok.
00:11:01.660 And we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
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