What A Traditional Relationship Should Look Like
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
186.53543
Summary
In this episode, we discuss what it means to be in a traditional relationship and how it has impacted our views on modern relationships. Do you have ever been in a 'traditional' relationship? Have you ever felt like you were the domineering one in a relationship, or the one who led?
Transcript
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Can, can modern relationships work? So my question is for do you for the single people have you ever been in a traditional relationship?
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Or and people in a relationship? Sorry. For the people in a relationship. Are you in a traditional relationship? And for the single people have you ever been in a traditional relationship? And how did you like it?
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Just like what you think of when you think of like, like the man pays for everything, he leads, you follow, like that sort of thing.
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Well, yeah, why don't we start here and then go around. Go ahead. Sorry.
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I guess yes, in some aspects, like he would lead and I would follow.
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Um, he paid. Yeah, he paid for everything unless like I offered and said, Oh, I've got it this time.
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Um, that's I guess as traditional because we didn't live together. And honestly, we weren't married.
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I don't think I have been in a traditional relationship as such, but it was all very 50 50.
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He didn't really lead much. So yeah, I don't think I have no.
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Okay. No, never been the traditional relationship.
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Um, yes. So I'm married and I, I hesitate because we have a blended family.
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So it's not traditional in a sense of like nuclear, uh, we got together and had babies.
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Um, but we had children before we got together and got married and now we're a blended family.
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Um, yes, I am. I am a traditional wife and yeah, I follow his lead and yeah, essentially he leads the family.
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Um, I've been married before, so I'm divorced, but I wasn't in a traditional marriage or relationship.
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Um, I guess I was in my masculine energy and I, I was doing everything essentially.
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And he was, um, not really the man that I, I want, um, that I now want, you know, after some searching and understanding what my role is as a woman, what I would ideally like from a man and what they want from women more importantly.
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When you say in your masculine, what do you mean by that?
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Um, financially and more, um, just everything really.
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I just kind of felt like, uh, I mean, I don't want to be too disrespectful here cause you know, he's the father of my kid.
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And, um, there's certain boundaries that you don't talk about on air, but I, I was in my masculine energy.
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Um, I think to an extent my relationship was quite traditional, but I think when it comes to like,
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personality and stuff, I think I was more of the domineering character compared to him.
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So I would say in that sense, I kind of witnessed that I was more of the leader than he was.
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And I think that's probably why like things didn't really work out between us.
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I've tried to make them lead and they've been able to, so I just had to go.
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So for the girls that said, cause I think you two said you've never been in a traditional
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Do you guys enjoy, did you enjoy being in a more modern relationship?
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I'm very, I'm quite old school, even though I'm young, like I've got quite old soul and
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I've always wanted, you know, just to be one man for my whole life.
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And it just wasn't that he wasn't giving me that he wasn't really at the beginning.
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He was putting in a lot of effort, but towards the end, it wasn't really there.
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What was it like being in a modern relationship?
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And is that something you'd want in the future?
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However, I don't know, I feel like, um, so my biggest fear, my biggest fear is financially
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I never, ever, ever want to co-own a home with someone.
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I never want to co-own a business with someone.
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Because I've seen so many women in my life be absolutely dictated financially by men.
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I know some amazing men, but no one's ever made me feel safe enough to embrace my feminine
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side with a man, which is why I've always had my own businesses.
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My ex committed identity theft fraud against me with his mum.
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I'm not even using that as an excuse to plug myself.
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And until I meet someone that makes me feel safe enough emotionally, spiritually and physically,
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then I will consider being in a traditional relationship.
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Do you think that's going to be hard for the next guy?
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Because it's like, he kind of has to deal with the mistakes of like your past in a way.
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Yeah, you know, it already has been hard for the next guy and the guy after that and the
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Not that, not that I'm, you know, moving about in different ways, but you know, I go out a
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So I meet a lot of people and I've met some wonderful people.
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But there's something within me that's just like, but can I trust you?
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Because the guy that was with last time was one of my best friends.
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And I knew him for a couple of years before I was with him.
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And then to do that and other things, which I can't discuss.
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Do you, at what point do you think you need to do some healing?
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The bad, the sad thing is I've already done so much healing.
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With all due respect, it doesn't sound like it though.
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Do you know, I ran to the other side of the world.
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And this is because when I broke up with him after I found out about the fraud,
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other women from his past were coming forward to me, messaging me.
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And these are all women that he smear campaign saying,
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And out of curiosity, I unblocked them because I knew they were trying to reach out to me.
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And one by one, they slowly came forward to me with their screenshots and their truths and their lovely, educated women.
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And it frightened me because I was sharing a bed with this person.
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And all of a sudden I'm discovering all of these things I had no idea he was capable of.
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But like, how do you heal if you're friends with his past?
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However, they justified everything I went through was real.
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Because you go through this thing called cognitive dissonance when you're trying to break a trauma bomb with someone.
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And it's where you try and justify their behavior.
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But simultaneously, they're emotionally abusing you by doing other things.
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We come together and then we talk about, you know, he done this, she done that.
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And then there's no actual healing that's being done.
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So whether it's spiritually, whether it's mentally, you know, talking to a therapist, talking to someone that you trust, getting it out.
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And then it won't be so hard on the next guy that comes along.
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Has this been a pattern or has it just been him?
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I mean, obviously that's pretty far, but has it been a pattern of like toxic guys in a way?
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I don't even think this last one is a bad person.
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And it made you move to Australia for six weeks.
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You know, I know he had borderline personality disorder.
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I know when I got with him, he was severely anorexic.
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He had a lot of demons that I tried to help him with.
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So that's why I don't know if he's bad or if he was just, he couldn't stand the thought
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But when you started dating him, you kind of saw a couple red flags early on.
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So I'm assuming that like you had, have guy friends that I'm sure would date you, right?
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So, so, so what made you go with like the toxic guy over the nice guy?
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And I think this is where my growth period happened.
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I, before him, I always wanted to be that girl that could be taken care of, be driven
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around in a nice car, taken out to nice meals, bought nice bags, nice jewelry.
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Cause I never, you know, I never had a guy that did that until my ex.
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And until I found myself sitting in that Benz with the heated seats, I was like, I'm really
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Cause this man does not love himself enough to be with me.
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He takes it out on me cause he's not secure within himself.
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And now I drive around in my little Toyota Yaris and I'm just like, you know what?
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So, so, so you, you almost put up with more because he was rich.
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I think it was more, I think at the beginning that enticed me, but it wasn't that I actually
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You just said it was because of like the cars and.
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It enticed me, it enticed me, but he didn't, he didn't maintain me.
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I said, no, because I even back then I was aware that if we break up, you're going to
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So no, you know, it enticed me that he could take care of himself.
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Otherwise I would have accepted all those things he offered me.
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Cause it kind of, it kind of is like, you're saying the same thing.
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As many of you know, I was just banned on Tik Tok and we are demonetized on a daily basis
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