JustPearlyThings - What Men Need in Their Relationships

00:00:00.000 i've got a question for you uh for the women yeah would you would you women agree or disagree that 1.00

00:00:05.360 the more a man has to kind of do in the relationship is like the less you kind of

00:00:11.120 like him as a person say that what do you mean so for instance if he has to do the most big wedding

00:00:16.480 big this big that he's lacking kind of lacking because without that you you you said you have

00:00:22.160 to be in love with him 100 and all these other factors whereas if you really just you you mess

00:00:27.120 with him as an individual he doesn't really have to do the extras because i notice if i'm not

00:00:32.880 someone's cup of tea i might have to jump through a hoop or two if i'm her cup of tea but we're

00:00:38.080 we're chilling on biscuits it's all good you know i mean so there's a difference so would you guys

00:00:43.520 agree or disagree with that basically i think what he's saying is you said that you would do

00:00:47.760 the courthouse yeah if you loved him 100 let's say you love them 70 then i wouldn't get married

00:00:52.800 does he have to do the white wedding title i think you're right the more you have to do for

00:01:01.440 a girl the less she probably does like the effects yeah because when you're when you're really into

00:01:06.480 you're always like thinking about what he wants what he you're happy just to be around him yeah

00:01:12.320 listen to mandem and mandem listen to that because if you're doing the most it means you don't like

00:01:16.000 you're not into you like that for real and you set a president as well to say you know what

00:01:20.400 for you to be with me i have to come with all these things men don't realize how valuable their

00:01:24.960 attention is like because i think women would know we would not survive without male attention 1.00

00:01:30.240 if men treated their attention like it was valuable women would have a very different behavior yeah 1.00

00:01:37.440 i've been watching capybara tiktoks for a long time right 0.72

00:01:41.760 you know the animal the capybara i don't know what that is seriously imagine if every guy said you know

00:01:47.840 i'm not going to accept a girl that has slept with double digit people i'm not going to accept 1.00

00:01:53.280 women um that are overweight i'm not going to accept women with children out of wedlock 1.00

00:01:59.600 women would make different decisions yeah like imagine if like women would not leave their husbands 1.00

00:02:04.880 if they didn't think there was a simp waiting for them they would not women would not they would 1.00

00:02:09.920 stay but it's like because men will give like their attention which is so it is so valuable like

00:02:17.200 we cannot survive without male attention that's why women without dads like they're messed up 1.00

00:02:22.720 because they didn't get that male attention so they have to go somewhere else male attention is 1.00

00:02:27.440 valuable and if men were more selective with who they gave it to i think women like would be better in

00:02:33.280 a way yeah yeah that's true but doesn't that link to the whole thing where um there was a thing where it's

00:02:39.680 like guys only go as far in terms of courting as women allow oh true so like so like back in the

00:02:47.200 day victorian times why did everyone back then used to call and used to wear like the big corsets and

00:02:52.720 have to date someone for like two months before you could even see the bottom of their legs no it's

00:02:56.640 not it's not it's not no it's not the men's responsibility yes the women's like no it's the sexual market 0.94

00:03:02.160 like the the purity of of women is the women's responsibility because we're in control of sex 1.00

00:03:06.400 exactly but i do think that the the quality i don't want to say quality but like men it they'll

00:03:13.840 they'll still wife women that have no business being wife that should be in the streets forever 1.00

00:03:18.800 or that have had like if you have two different baby daddies why is anybody marrying you leaving

00:03:23.120 why isn't it leaving what was the name of the uh the girl with um the basketball player britney

00:03:29.200 bennie renner yeah bennie renner friend of the show she's one of those girls in that type of 1.00

00:03:36.960 situation where it's like you know her past so well that like there's no way you think you

00:03:40.880 for some women can just be really unlucky like they fell for somebody she's not one of those women 1.00

00:03:45.280 fell for somebody had a kid i think that's an excuse you choose what you do with your own body

00:03:52.000 in the same argument as you were saying earlier about if you should have children or not and you

00:03:56.080 said oh it's a woman's body i'm i imagine you were referring to abortion and and you have the right 0.92

00:04:00.480 i think you're in complete control so you have complete control to not open your legs to every man

00:04:06.000 yeah but people get divorced too but there's people that have like two free marriages and that's not

00:04:10.640 even like a small amount a lot of people get divorced i'm not even trying to be what's the

00:04:13.600 percentage of the women are the ones divorcing yeah yeah i mean there's definitely a part of playing

00:04:20.320 that apart no but what i was trying to say is if i have a relationship with a with a female and i'm

00:04:25.920 with her for five years and i have a child and then i have a relationship with someone else for a year

00:04:30.800 and i have a child like i'm talking vice versa okay yeah i have a really good solution here okay don't

00:04:37.600 have sex with people you don't want to have kids with trust or you know use birth control of some 0.77

00:04:44.160 sort condoms yeah you know there's there's like a billion different forms you can pick one um and 0.88

00:04:49.280 maybe you know if you have a kid with someone stay yeah those are three valuable very very happy just

00:04:56.720 because you have but what about the kids happiness why does everyone always go to their own happiness what

00:05:00.960 about the kids happiness children who come from single parent homes unfortunately statistically are

00:05:05.680 worse off that is a fact so you are going against the odds for the sake of your you're going you're

00:05:11.920 forcing your child's life against the odds for the sake of your momentary happiness happiness is a

00:05:16.400 feeling they last temporary like all feelings whereas that child's development is permanent because of

00:05:23.040 the way that the brain develops everything that happens in childhood is a building like if you have a

00:05:26.880 kid that's in a single mother home she's more likely to go to jail she's more likely to drop out of 1.00

00:05:30.320 school they're more likely to be sexually abused by the stepdad they're more likely to have

00:05:35.360 mental health issues every she's right every statistical disadvantage you could put your kid 0.67

00:05:40.400 out you're putting them out what because you're not happy yeah you're in control of your happiness

00:05:44.640 but that's it that's when we get into the maturing thing happiness is no this is that like happiness

00:05:49.200 kind of has to take a back seat yeah yeah because not everything's gonna be happy all the time i hear it

00:05:54.400 but at the same time it depends on the abuse i think male or female if you're in an abusive relationship

00:06:01.920 whether it's verbal you're talking about the exception of being unhappy no but that plays in

00:06:06.160 unhappiness that plays that is unhappy wait wait but this is propaganda though they probably they put

00:06:11.600 this in the media like we're so afraid of these men that are just abusing women all the time it's like

00:06:16.480 five percent if that of men that commit the majority of the crimes and what percent of them are incarcerated yet

00:06:23.280 women pick man that's incarcerated minute women pick these dangerous men and then why yeah and then 1.00

00:06:29.520 why when it happens so it's like am i am i gonna feel bad for you that you picked the back that's

00:06:34.880 who you picked you made a kid with him work it out decisions have consequences and you need to realize

00:06:39.120 that you make not because a lot a lot of times a lot of people need to realize that the decisions that

00:06:44.080 you make don't only just affect you they affect everyone around you and and i see it like today when we had um

00:06:50.240 we had four girls come on the show for like the cat lady or um wife show and i think did all four 1.00

00:06:57.280 come from single mother homes i think all four either three out of four or four did and you can

00:07:02.080 see it in the way they view relationships like they all say partnership like they don't even understand

00:07:07.440 that husband and wife is a role it's like they don't know basic things and and then it's like you get

00:07:12.720 these kids that have never seen a functioning relationship then our generation can't have

00:07:16.160 relationships there's so many problems that come with that like homelessness drug addiction there's

00:07:21.360 so many issues that come as a result of single mother homes um and and and a lot of times it 0.88

00:07:27.760 it leads to the birth rate declining yeah because now i think we're at like 1.4 kids per woman they're

00:07:33.920 predicting that 50 percent of women are going to be single and childless yeah like so now 50 more women

00:07:39.040 that hit 30 are not going to have kids than have them in the next couple of years yeah it's it's like

00:07:44.240 there's like that thing where you know when people say like someone who bullies is someone who's just

00:07:49.520 being bullied in another situation by someone else right it's kind of you can you can liken that to

00:07:54.160 the situation because it's like if if one person sees a bad relationship and they don't know how to

00:07:59.200 do a bad relationship all they would know is what they've seen and what they know to be true from the

00:08:05.760 immediate surroundings now if the immediate surroundings are negative and every example of a relationship is

00:08:12.240 all negative the only idea of a relationship that they have in their head is most likely going to

00:08:17.200 refer back to negative yes they will have the positive ones from movies and stuff but they only

00:08:21.200 know negative also it's also about like the way that behavior the way that humans behave is based

00:08:26.720 off of what they know we can only behave off of what we know like if you go back to when we were

00:08:30.960 is it like hunter-gatherer times like that we our brain maps stuff out so if you've only seen bad stuff

00:08:37.920 like you say you might see good stuff in the movies but you're not the one actually going

00:08:41.520 through the experience you're going to repeat that pattern of unhealthy relationships because it's

00:08:46.320 all that your brain has actually experienced like and it doesn't even have to be but sometimes you can

00:08:51.440 do the complete opposite because you've been you were raised in that household and you saw and you're

00:08:56.800 like this is how i don't want my marriage you can but statistically they don't yeah it's hard like

00:09:04.720 like why do you think we don't even have to look at stats to know this why do we say that girls have 1.00

00:09:08.640 daddy issues like there are ramifications for not having functioning happy relationships and i

00:09:14.880 also think it turns men into simps where they don't know how to deal with women um because like 0.99

00:09:20.000 they've never seen a masculine man lead in a relationship but then you have all the women 0.98

00:09:23.360 complaining that there's no masculine men it's like trying to explain the color red to someone who's

00:09:26.960 colorblind if you've never seen the color red how do you explain it like have you seen have you guys

00:09:30.800 heard of the the inmates and the the prisoners and the um the guards psychological like experiment

00:09:38.800 that happened that they did oh the um stanford prison the stanford one so i met i met the guy who

00:09:43.120 the zimmerman yeah i met him right so this experiment essentially like they they had a room full of

00:09:49.280 people they split them in half students half of them were um um inmates and the other half were guards

00:09:55.520 and they realized after a certain amount of time the guards started acting like actual guards and the

00:10:00.160 prisoners are like actual prisoners and they started to have like an actual power disparity and you had

00:10:05.360 to shut it down early because the the the guards were like really taking in as like this is their

00:10:11.040 life and these people are actually i'm actually villainous people the reason i bring this up is to

00:10:16.720 show like this is a real life psychological example of what it looks like to be surrounded by images of

00:10:22.800 things that you don't really understand is an example of like being surrounded by a negative image

00:10:28.880 of what you think should happen only going off your idea of what is what it should happen and seeing

00:10:35.440 how the human mind goes with that because they were quick to take on the roles of prisoner and

00:10:42.160 jailer and three days it was like three to five days or something and they flipped they were they were

00:10:47.280 going to kill these people like people were like locked up in solitary confinement so it goes to show

00:10:51.920 the reason i bring it up is to show that like the psychological the psychology of human beings is so like 0.75

00:10:58.880 fragile yeah i was gonna say frigid or like fragile that like things around you that you see every

00:11:04.480 day that you don't even realize that you see or hear or your experience shape you right so to

00:11:09.840 continuously show kids right because i'm like i've seen it myself there's there's so much single

00:11:15.680 parents stuff shown and there was a period of time where single parent stuff was shown a lot

00:11:20.720 right and it just becomes something that's like very natural and very okay and all right which which

00:11:26.320 which shows that even in fairy tales like cinderella they never they never they never like they always

00:11:33.440 re-marry someone and the stepmoms always like disgusting but you never really talk about the 0.99

00:11:38.000 mom because you've always passed or something yeah and there's always like one of those ones where

00:11:41.280 single parents like lifestyle had been pushed not like directly but like indirectly in different ways

00:11:48.080 of like if you if you notice it then you notice it type of thing i just think that modern women are 1.00

00:11:52.800 selfish when it comes to their kids they care about themselves more than their kids and i think it's

00:11:57.200 really sad and i think it actually ruins society because when you put yourself before your kids you

00:12:01.840 mean you put your generation before the next generation but are there are there enough okay let me um

00:12:09.200 backtrack a bit so to the point of like um people that are not having kids right um do you reckon there's

00:12:16.400 enough women that have passed that point of being able to get pregnant that are actually speaking to 0.59

00:12:23.520 younger women and saying all right no because that involves swallowing their pride and they don't 1.00

00:12:27.120 want to do that but guy there's enough guys saying hey get your get your act together but guys you know

00:12:31.040 you need money you need to you need to do this you need networks you need to be able to um defend

00:12:35.440 yourself you know there's enough i feel like there's there's enough guys doing that i just want to know from

00:12:40.000 the women are there women that are doing that no no there's a fundamental difference between guys and

00:12:44.000 girls guys will give guys genuine advice girls won't have you heard the whole phrase because 1.00

00:12:48.080 girls compete with each other because if you're 25 and the girl that's 38 you're competing with her for 1.00

00:12:53.360 the same guy you've heard the phrase a girl um a guy will insult a guy and not mean it a girl will 0.91

00:12:58.480 compliment and go and not mean it yeah so it's one of those ones where those older girls you would think 0.99

00:13:04.000 would give those advice might say to you oh you're so pretty you should do this but like they don't mean it

00:13:08.720 it's like when you see girls like uh commenting on obese girls pictures like beautiful love it like

00:13:15.520 what are you doing it's not beautiful why are you encouraging her

00:13:21.680 yeah because look i say i say like this yeah with um with men i don't care like you look at even kevin

00:13:28.400 yeah i didn't care about the delivery because he's not talking to me directly people call up and you

00:13:33.440 know they go oh yeah but if you're not talking to that person directly you can see the delivery

00:13:38.640 and look at that as entertainment but you can still take the message i think with women it 1.00

00:13:42.800 needs to be dissected in a way that makes them directly to them specifically they got a feel

00:13:48.320 they got a feel great about it to take to receive it whereas with guys i might like generally speaking

00:13:53.680 i'll just be like cool yeah what he's saying is makes it makes sense and you move on yeah and i'm

00:13:57.840 and i and i apply it or i don't apply it you know i mean but i believe there's enough men out there

00:14:01.840 giving that direction and i think you know just from the conversations that we've had here just

00:14:05.760 through on the panel you know is it working for you to if you want if you know what you you want

00:14:11.600 kids and you want this kind of you want a certain kind of lifestyle you want things

00:14:15.440 is the way you're moving working for you and if there if it isn't do you have people in your life

00:14:20.800 that are saying that you can talk to that haven't had kids and they can say boom all right look

00:14:25.760 you know time's ticking it will get to this point and this is how i feel now that i waited and i'm here

00:14:31.440 yeah but you know what you know what it is with that the the biggest enemy to women most times is 1.00

00:14:36.000 other women so like you because we can't even admit there's a problem yeah other women are the 1.00

00:14:42.560 downfall of women for a lot of the time because they will be the ones who will feed you the stuff 1.00

00:14:47.840 that you want to hear in one side knowing good and damn well that's not the advice you need to hear

00:14:52.400 and then leave and then watch you walk out that door and make that mistake and then laugh

JustPearlyThings - July 22, 2023

What Men Need in Their Relationships

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