JustPearlyThings - What Women Should Bring To The TABLE

00:00:00.000 coming up next do you want a woman to have sex with you even if she doesn't want to yes it should

00:00:04.180 be a duty because at the end of the day you can't say to a man a man isn't allowed to say oh i don't

00:00:08.840 want to pay the rent this week or i don't want to i don't want to go to work i don't want to protect

00:00:12.300 you exactly oh there's a there's a burglar car no you can kill her first it's fine like a man's

00:00:16.820 not allowed to the same way i believe a woman's not actually allowed to if she wants to have a

00:00:20.340 healthy marriage or relationship it needs to be like that so today um i have my hefty defty

00:00:27.420 whiteboard out and i specifically recruited men for this show because i want to hear from the men

00:00:33.000 what do you guys want from women what should women that come to you bring to the table so i'm going

00:00:40.520 to get up and you can start for me personally it's more about a degree of personality traits alongside

00:00:51.720 beauty i think the things what people have uh what women think matter to men actually don't we

00:00:58.280 don't care about your money we don't care that you're independent we don't care you are a quote

00:01:02.100 unquote boss bitch like no one cares about any of that things especially if you want something seriously

00:01:06.480 i think the biggest thing um they don't understand is that the to get a man to commit to you and to get

00:01:13.300 a man to sleep with you is different and those qualities are different so if a guy is just looking

00:01:17.760 to sleep with a woman um certain long-term things he won't be interested in um so for me i would say

00:01:26.480 what what women need to bring or what i would like them to bring per se is sort of feminine energy

00:01:33.080 submissive non-argumentative um kind supportive these are the traits that are important to me anyway

00:01:41.420 um for me personally i'd say i would like in a serious relationship a woman to bring

00:01:54.580 loyalty is a big one for me um and i'd also say

00:02:01.140 apart from loyalty another big one would be but i had to be virtuous

00:02:10.740 virtuous i'd say but to be virtuous and what do you mean by virtuous virtuous is

00:02:16.680 is not in the sense of almost like uh that kind of innocent feminine energy and willingness to kind

00:02:26.760 of take leadership are you christian uh no i wouldn't class myself as christian have you heard

00:02:33.900 of proverbs 31 i've heard of it i don't know what it is that's what it's describing the ideal wife

00:02:39.080 i think proverbs 31 is probably the best example of a virtuous woman but

00:02:42.940 it's a it's intimidating yes but yeah that's what women should strive to be i would agree with you

00:02:47.720 so me what i would like my woman to bring to the table is loyalty i would need my woman to be my

00:03:04.660 friend because i don't just want to be with someone that's not that i don't get along with

00:03:08.340 and again like she would need to be beautiful in a sense because i don't just want to be looking at

00:03:14.380 you and like you don't like i'm not attracted to you so that that would be for me well for me

00:03:21.420 definitely you'd have to be a virgin so virginity is the main thing i'd say come you're born with

00:03:26.400 value don't give it away if you want the guy to full-on marry devote to you and make you his one

00:03:32.300 and only don't give away what makes you valuable to men you're born with a certain amount of value

00:03:38.180 based on your looks based on your purity even sometimes based on your family status sometimes

00:03:43.740 you're from a wealthy family well-known family there's a lot of things that go into it but yeah

00:03:47.600 i'd say the main things are definitely submission you want you don't want someone to argue against

00:03:51.200 you you don't want someone to be against you you want to be the leader of your house you want to be

00:03:55.460 the leader of the relationship and in order to do that you need someone submissive loyalty is

00:03:59.460 definitely there because if she's not loyal no one's going to be interested in her in the first place

00:04:03.180 unless you're a you know a cuck or a simp or you know there's loads of words to describe feminine

00:04:08.540 definitely because you know it's just you can't be masculine and expect a masculine man because a

00:04:12.960 masculine man is going to want someone feminine you can't be because it's the same way of describing

00:04:17.480 a man who's part feminine and like one day he wants to wear a miniskirt or a dress that's not very

00:04:23.280 masculine is it it's like a woman saying oh yeah i'm gonna wear the trousers and go to work today it's

00:04:27.540 just like that's not feminine it's just it's it's not what men want men literally want

00:04:32.760 feminine loyalty submission purity beauty as well like some men don't even expect that much beauty

00:04:38.580 anymore they've actually got low as long as you're hitting the other targets they're actually fine

00:04:41.960 with lowering what they perceive as their level as long as you hit everything else that they want

00:04:46.840 so that's what i'd say they should actually bring to the table what they've already got what they're

00:04:51.200 born with and then character traits that they just develop over time if they're actually following

00:04:56.920 what they should be following

00:04:58.400 um i want a woman that's cooperative again no one likes to argue all day um a woman that's

00:05:06.700 submissive um she knows that i'm not being not asking her to be submissive is not against her it's

00:05:14.080 so that everything runs smoothly um a woman as a team player that understands that everything is for

00:05:19.540 the betterment of the collective not for anyone's selfish interests and the woman that's supportive

00:05:24.640 kind yeah that's that's about it

00:05:28.020 well uh if i'm just looking for a good time then none of what anyone here has said

00:05:37.580 um apart from you know you gotta look good of course but if it's um someone i'm gonna take seriously

00:05:46.300 um you have to just not get in the way of my work you've got to

00:05:54.840 add to my work ethic as in whatever you can do whatever holes you can fill that i may have

00:06:04.960 that can help me um do what i do better uh you know help me in my kind of my strive for more

00:06:13.040 my ambition uh so just get behind me and support me and be loyal be in shape and if you're not in

00:06:24.440 shape then you must have that um as a goal you must be actively right now be looking to get into

00:06:34.040 shape and yeah just be you know just just be cool like you know all that loudness and rare tear tear

00:06:45.440 none of that just be cool be feminine are there any skills that you'd like like what specific skills

00:06:54.360 would you like a girl to have a bit to cook would be nice okay what what do you think girls should

00:06:59.580 be able to cook um i don't think pasta counts i think everyone's like i passed out i want to i

00:07:06.500 want to be wifey like what what should she what should she start with what should she learn to cook

00:07:11.000 uh cultural food so depending on what ethnicity she is i think she should at least know the basic

00:07:15.420 the basic foods that her culture comes from if i'm with someone arab i expect them for example

00:07:20.380 moroccan i expect it to know how to make tagine i expect it to know how to make the basic things

00:07:24.280 that come from that side of the world i'm sure if i'm american i should know hamburgers and hot dogs

00:07:29.400 like there's there's brisket it's barbecue i've seen american barbecue i know but like i'm sure like

00:07:37.000 i know i know some jamaican guys it's like if my wife can't make rice and peas i'm not even gonna

00:07:41.000 look at her so this is you know it's just you need to be able to provide the sustenance side and like

00:07:46.800 the nurturing side so you need to be able to cook you need to be able to clean because that is the

00:07:51.320 main thing you're going to be doing it's like you're going to be taking care of children let's

00:07:54.220 talk about cleaning skills what cleaning skills what do you want you get to build a wife today

00:07:58.300 oh i want to get specific because a lot of times when i hear what guys want from girls it's very broad

00:08:06.580 and there's no like specific things that girls can do to like train to do these things and we are

00:08:12.420 opening a wife school soon so oh well i think the reason sorry the reason why there's no specific

00:08:17.740 things is because if there were those girls would not give a shit anyway okay well today we're doing

00:08:25.580 a whiteboard no we'll care if we're into you well i mean there's women that they find themselves like

00:08:31.740 surprised that they're you know turning out their feminine side i guess for the right guy they find

00:08:35.980 themselves on google looking up how to make french toast so so it happens but i think yeah there has to be

00:08:41.440 genuine desire so if a woman if a woman is just giving you a hard time about the things that you

00:08:45.860 like well she can kind of just keep it pushing i think that's a fair point and the ability to learn

00:08:51.220 as well even if you don't know how to do anything the ability to learn to show is how i personally

00:08:56.620 would receive care i would that to me that would show you that you care about what i think what i like

00:09:02.160 to do what i like to eat etc the ability to learn is half the battle but with the attitude of oh i don't

00:09:07.500 want to do that why should i do that it's it's just redundant isn't it yeah yeah

00:09:11.320 that's how i got married i didn't know how to do anything any i have no no model of like how to be

00:09:16.060 a wife but i brought a willingness to learn and so i think that that that just happened to be enough

00:09:20.700 well with results because i feel like i feel like if i was slipping up he would say something so

00:09:24.360 i think it really just comes down to the basics of knowing how to keep a house so if the man's

00:09:29.300 actually going out working working his ass off trying to provide for the family i think that it's

00:09:33.840 the woman's actual duty to make sure the house is clean the kids are taken care of he doesn't want

00:09:38.340 to come home to everyone screaming he wants like the house to be peace he wants to come home to

00:09:42.780 peace from chaos work is sometimes chaos i describe work as chaos sometimes so he's going to come from

00:09:48.300 chaos into peace so the whole point is everything needs to be kept dinner ready and that's it it's

00:09:53.160 it's not that difficult like i'd say that when you're talking about cleaning skills i'd say just

00:09:57.320 like mop mop the floor make it so that when you enter the house you take off your shoes so the house

00:10:01.840 stays clean like everyone people in the house make try their hardest to make sure it doesn't get any

00:10:07.160 dirtier but obviously the wife's job is to clean if it does get any dirty so dusting just mopping

00:10:12.820 you know vacuum cleaner yeah even get a rumba it does half the job for you but at the end of the

00:10:19.040 day the whole point is you just want to come home to a nice clean nice smelling house and i think to

00:10:23.580 add on to the the peace point that you made i think a woman should be like your spiritual

00:10:27.480 protector in a sense like you're her physical protector i feel like she needs to be able to like

00:10:32.160 spirit spiritually protect you and ground you because the world is almost can be chaotic and when

00:10:37.140 you come home you want her to be able to ground you and you want her to be able to make you feel

00:10:41.820 at peace if that makes sense and that goes back to our point about we don't want someone argumentative

00:10:46.100 yeah destructive those things don't bring peace and ironically what happens is if you are with a

00:10:51.400 woman like that and she behaves like that that's just in all honesty just gives a man more reason

00:10:55.740 to cheat because he's just going to go somewhere and build up peace understanding you know good

00:11:00.700 listening skills from another woman and she's going to take your place so how can a woman keep you

00:11:05.100 grounded because i think i think i struggle with that i think when you know my husband comes home

00:11:08.340 he can be pretty stressed out from work because like you said work is chaos so i'm like well like

00:11:12.580 what do i do do i hug him do i leave him alone i think he's the leave him alone give uh let him

00:11:17.200 play video games kind of route so like how can a woman be grounding to you guys what's what would

00:11:20.780 peace look like silence it's that simple it just comes down to silence and and just doing the things

00:11:28.280 that she normally would do for you taking care of you sitting next to you like just you know peace

00:11:33.580 peace generally is seen as silence if you're in peace if you're in you know people say zen it is

00:11:38.720 pure silence the guy wants to come home to a nice quiet home most of the time he doesn't want to come

00:11:43.400 home to chaos peace is normally described as silence okay like for me i think the deep obviously

00:11:50.600 loyalty and cooperative and the friend and feminine are all key things but i think the most important

00:11:56.380 thing is deep understanding now there's levels of understanding um and i think with understanding

00:12:01.240 comes trust so if you get to know the man and you really want to fulfill your man and want to see him

00:12:06.280 win then you're going to let him lead and i think a lot of it boils down to trust there's a lot of

00:12:10.980 people saying oh i love my man i love my man but for one reason or the other they're the biggest

00:12:16.300 holdback sometimes so i think that men i think men realize when a girl genuinely wants to see him win

00:12:23.460 not just for her benefit and for me i think that's the that's the key thing and then with that when a

00:12:28.340 female's trusting you comes femininity a lot of men are thinking oh why is my girl masculine because

00:12:34.300 she's not trusted you so i think that's what i think that's what it boils down to so i hear that i hear

00:12:38.900 where you say you want to you want to come home and you want silence and peace but now if she's

00:12:45.400 silent it could be a bit of a problem she can talk silently well that's what i was saying is like

00:12:50.300 what if what if you're coming home and uh you're stressed or you're feeling down what if you want

00:12:54.760 to like you want i know something encouraging what would that look like because one of my girlfriends

00:12:58.300 has told me that when her man is stressed out that she just gives him a big hug so i think i was

00:13:02.520 looking for like those kind of actions obviously oh you know being quiet in the midst of chaos is

00:13:06.600 helpful i think you can that's what i think too because a lot of times when guys say what they

00:13:11.320 want it it sounds really simple which okay and but it's very broad and so it's like if you were

00:13:18.900 going to say to someone all right i want to be a wife how do i become one like what would you tell

00:13:23.060 them to do go ahead let me is it ali yeah oh yes so i can't speak for all men can't speak for your

00:13:30.420 your husband however i can tell you about me so if i came back from work and i was stressed

00:13:36.680 all my other half would have to do if i had one would be nothing like silence chill

00:13:49.540 um there's not even that much pressure on you to to um yeah like just have something ready for us to

00:13:59.240 eat together yeah um and then just chill let me you don't need to ground me or anything like that

00:14:08.420 like i've been grounding myself for 35 years i'm very very good at grounding myself and all the rest

00:14:14.940 of it just don't don't add to the stress yeah that's that's it okay that's an action don't a lot

00:14:21.900 of girls a lot of girls i'm not saying all girls a lot of girls somehow still find a way to just not

00:14:29.700 be able to do nothing they they find a way to want to add to the stress it's like they've been waiting

00:14:36.380 for you to come home all day just to tell you something just to get on your nerves you know

00:14:40.760 sometimes it's like a man's just happy just to see you like just just be just exist and be feminine

00:14:47.360 so i can give you my full masculine but if you're acting frantic and all masculine how can you expect

00:14:52.720 me to be masculine well you know it's not it's not like that so like i stay home um and then so my

00:14:58.160 husband's gone like 10 to 12 hours a day and you know when i see him i just get so excited i'm like

00:15:02.560 oh my god i can't wait to tell you about my day and he's like 30 minutes an hour 30 minutes an hour

00:15:08.420 and i'm ready to hear about your day so like we don't we don't we're not trying to add to your plate

00:15:12.400 but i see your point so it's called a decompression time is what a lot of counselors call it

00:15:17.080 apparently men need that i feel like i don't think women are like that i don't feel like i need

00:15:21.220 not even like five minutes to myself no because we're more social so to us like when we come home

00:15:26.520 we're excited to talk to each other but men aren't like that they're like get away have you ever seen

00:15:30.880 that have you ever seen that chris rock i think it's chris rock where he's like we like you there

00:15:34.940 but not there i want i want to be with you but you know i don't really i want to be around you

00:15:44.980 so you could just be in the air vent that's what patrice o'neill said oh god i was gonna say i think

00:15:49.940 as men i think we're very self-aware in the sense that how we want to make sure that we receive our

00:15:55.940 women properly so sometimes we may need like half an hour to just to decompress but i think sometimes

00:16:00.880 women take offense to that when they say give me like 30 minutes are you mad at me

00:16:06.600 it's like it's not about you babe this is me just give me 30 minutes that's a hard concept for them

00:16:14.160 to grab that it's not about them because they always think it's about them but that's why you

00:16:17.420 get guys sort of sitting in the car when they get back from work for like 10 minutes just to have a

00:16:21.560 moment to themselves to go into the house because hey it's like you know i don't mean this

00:16:26.100 disrespectfully but you know when you have a puppy and they run to the door when you come through the

00:16:29.660 door it's a bit like that it's nice it's nice it's not supposed to be of course disrespectful

00:16:33.060 but it's just like the excitement to see you it is lovely but like you said you need to just

00:16:37.520 five minutes just let me just chill for two seconds i mean i'd actually also add it depends on your

00:16:42.340 current like position in the relationship so what what like if you're in the honeymoon period

00:16:46.580 i'd say it's a lot more romantic and full-on and more sexually driven at that point in the first

00:16:51.560 like six months of normal relationships a lot of sex happens so in that case the man would be

00:16:56.900 anticipating that as soon as he gets home if i was married i'd expect some form of intimacy as soon

00:17:02.500 as i get home if it was the first but obviously let's say 10 years down the line if i'm working

00:17:07.780 and if things are chaotic how can i get home i'm just going to want to relax i'm just going to want

00:17:11.620 to sit decompress as you've said and then eventually after a while maybe have dinner and then during dinner

00:17:17.780 start conversation and then keep the conversation going overnight but the whole point is you need men need

00:17:22.980 that decompression when they get home if they're not because the thing is men the thing is if it's

00:17:28.100 not the honeymoon period and it's not a part where he's very sexually driven and he can't wait to get

00:17:31.860 home to literally rail you against the bed then you literally need the position of he needs peace he

00:17:38.740 needs to relax for a bit because if he doesn't get that he's just going to build up even more stress

00:17:43.940 and it's going to get bottled then he might explode and you know and some men explode in different ways

00:17:48.500 and then yeah i'd say that's the main that's the crux of the situation yeah i think i think the

00:17:52.740 main thing i can speak for all men i think all men want respect definitely it boils i think it boils

00:17:59.620 down to respect when a man is disrespected he can do crazy things let's be honest i think disrespect

00:18:06.740 even leads men to cheating which never really wants to get spoken about it's always this guy's a bad guy

00:18:12.500 for cheating but let's ask ourselves how many times he did how many times did you disrespect your man

00:18:16.980 before he cheated that's like every single like school shooter story i've ever heard

00:18:22.100 yeah i mean we we want respect from men let alone our women do you know what i mean like respect is

00:18:28.580 number one beyond love beyond beyond anything respect is one and then well a woman has to respect you

00:18:36.340 in order to love you in the first place it starts with respect i think i think without respect it doesn't

00:18:41.220 work it cannot work if the girl actually wants she's gonna have to get to the point where she has to

00:18:45.620 respect you or she has to find someone she does respect yeah the relationship doesn't work without

00:18:49.940 respect otherwise you get a lot of problems just developing and actually growing it's like a seed

00:18:54.740 if you if there's no respect it's gonna grow yeah it's gonna literally grow and ruin things and it

00:18:59.940 gets ruined in different ways well you guys you guys know why we disrespect you guys right okay this

00:19:03.700 looks like for the for the women that love you that get out of pocket okay because there's just like

00:19:07.380 some naturally psychotic women that's like she's just gonna be out of pocket for everyone so the way uh

00:19:12.100 there's a doctor his name is dr egrets he talks about love and respect right and it's in the bible

00:19:15.860 too where women are commanded to respect their husbands and husbands are commanded to love their

00:19:20.020 wives right and there's a reason for that and so when when i feel unloved you we tend to get

00:19:25.380 disrespectful and then if you feel like i'm disrespecting you you're gonna go out of your

00:19:28.500 way to make sure that i don't feel loved and you're not gonna cuddle with me and it goes into this

00:19:31.860 cycle and you never know when to hop off because it's like well do i want to hop off no he should hop off

00:19:35.940 when really it's like once you know you're in the cycle you should just hop off just for the greater good

00:19:40.020 whoever figures it out first so yeah i think that that's a that's a common thing because

00:19:44.100 um when men blow up nobody ever asks what did she say and i feel like we should start asking because

00:19:49.380 it's really bad because they always if if a girl blows up it's what did he do yeah yeah but we never

00:19:54.900 ask what did she say that's so many times that one oh well what did you do what did you do it's not

00:20:00.820 about me i'm not a narcissist it's about it's true we have to and we have to remember as well it's respect

00:20:06.020 isn't just in the home when we're outside your females representing you if she's representing

00:20:10.740 you in a mad way she's not respecting you so i think it's such a 360 thing yeah you've got like

00:20:16.340 obviously when you come home from work but on the flip side you've got how she's representing you

00:20:20.180 outside if she if your girl does not respect and rate you you'll hear him know about it and it will burn

00:20:26.500 a girl a girl asked me the other day a girl that i'm talking to and um she said to me um so babes like

00:20:34.500 how would you want me to be like say we were a thing like i would you know and i said to her i

00:20:39.940 want you to pretend you're always wearing a permanent t-shirt with my face on it so you know no matter

00:20:46.900 where you are you you're wearing a t-shirt and it's got my face on it and and that's the mindset that you

00:20:52.740 need to have because when they when they've got that in their mind they're acting it out that there's

00:20:57.940 no it's like a constant reminder yeah exactly well what are some ways that a woman can demonstrate respect

00:21:04.260 because again like respect very broad and we ain't got no daddies just like y'all don't got

00:21:08.340 daddies so what how can we demonstrate that's right by listening just to cut in there i do think that

00:21:15.620 like a good woman's gonna test you as a man i don't think there should be like unrealistic

00:21:19.380 unrealistic expectation that a woman's not going to test you and it's good because as a man you need

00:21:24.340 to be on your a-game so a good woman's going to test you and you need to be like the best version

00:21:28.420 of yourself to be able to deal with that and kind of make her fit into your frame just to add that in i have to

00:21:33.700 disagree with that one uh yeah i was gonna say i completely disagree i think respect is when she

00:21:38.020 doesn't do that like she respects you enough disrespect you by the way no no i'm saying that

00:21:41.860 she shouldn't even test you like the whole point is when when someone respects you you you don't like

00:21:45.860 you don't test your boss you don't go to your boss and start testing them testing them like oh what

00:21:50.420 about this what about that like at the end of the day it is the kind of boss dynamic like at the end of

00:21:55.700 the day a relationship is you go to work every day like i'm just like it's just it's really simple

00:22:00.820 it sounds it's people complicate it a lot but when it comes to respect just listen to what the man

00:22:05.060 says at the end of the day he has the final say if you're in a dynamic relationship where it's

00:22:08.660 masculine feminine the man has the final say and the crux of it really does literally come down to

00:22:13.620 listening respect not arguing understanding that he has the final say and that's literally how it

00:22:21.700 should be so so to boil it down she has to listen yeah listen that's there any actionable items

00:22:29.140 whatever the man says does do so she listens yeah okay and you know what not to not to disrespect

00:22:34.500 my brother here or and or anybody else on the panel but no tests yeah no test because i'm really

00:22:41.620 this is going to be the action item you might be you might be right but in my in my world it's not

00:22:46.180 unrealistic because listen i'm tested every day yeah up at 6 a.m working from eight till nine most days

00:22:55.380 seven days a week no tests that's enough if you test you become part of the problem i don't i don't

00:23:01.380 think that i don't think i know a single wife that doesn't test their husband now i think there are

00:23:04.900 malicious ways to test your husband i think that's true but there's other ways that you're going to be

00:23:08.900 tested so like example you know fatherhood that's that's a test is to see like you know how do you

00:23:13.700 perform as a father and a husband i don't think you're going to be able to get away from it and so i live

00:23:18.260 in the midwest and so there's a feminine wives masculine husbands in the church husbands are providers

00:23:23.220 protectors women are feminine submissive but there there are still going to be tests like you

00:23:27.620 still want your boundaries respected as a human being and an individual i understand what you're

00:23:31.540 saying like don't be malicious about it but i think it's unrealistic to think that you know

00:23:35.700 that it's not going to happen at all so i'm thinking i'm just going with that train of thought

00:23:40.100 i don't i don't really have an opinion on this but i'm going with that train of thought

00:23:44.340 do employees test bosses ever yes they do because you kind of see what you can get away with

00:23:51.220 right i'm thinking more test like do something disrespect like there's there's respectful ways

00:23:56.980 of testing there's passive ways of testing like for example you brought up the have children that's

00:24:01.620 a passive way that's going to happen that's not you can see that and it's not a direct test to the

00:24:06.260 man it's just like the man's going to provide and you're going to see what he's like how he's going to

00:24:09.700 take care of the child how he's going to take care of you so question should and this is just genuine

00:24:13.700 question should a woman if you tell her something and it's not something that she agrees with

00:24:19.460 how should she go about it because at some point there's going to be something that you tell her

00:24:23.540 that she disagrees with there has to be an example otherwise because there's so many different things

00:24:27.460 that would be so um oh yeah i have one oh you got one i have one so you and this is something common

00:24:35.060 that i've i don't like older generations you want to buy a house she thinks you're being too reckless

00:24:41.540 with the money she gets absolutely zero say zero say zero say when the man has earned all that money

00:24:48.660 and she is it depends on the dynamic if the man is the only one working and providing then he she

00:24:53.860 gets absolutely zero say because it's the man's money and he's providing you a house you it's like

00:24:58.900 beggars can't be choosers i know that's the wrong most girls have to work in 2022 i don't know i'm

00:25:03.940 talking about dynamic where the man where the woman doesn't work obviously if the woman works 22 so most

00:25:08.340 girls have to work oh like she has to help pay the mortgage my my i don't really have an opinion i'm just

00:25:14.020 trying to figure out okay so in that case i wouldn't i wouldn't like be happy with that at

00:25:17.780 all but if someone was in a situation where the woman was also earning and she was also contributing

00:25:22.180 then definitely however much i believe it should be very static so however much she contributes

00:25:26.980 is how much say she has so if the man earns 70 percent and she earns 30 percent i believe she

00:25:32.020 should have a 30 percent say by that logic if a girl earns more than a guy she should have the final say

00:25:36.580 the final say yes but i also don't agree with the woman working if it wants to be a dynamic of the

00:25:43.380 man and woman in a masculine feminine okay well yeah i mean that's the ideal right i think most

00:25:47.940 girls would like to be housewives but again we're in 2022 i think lower the standards i think living

00:25:54.260 standards okay go ahead the key thing is yeah you're saying we're 2022 going into 2023 we can't be

00:26:00.660 we've got to always look at it and i think just looking at like the no tests

00:26:03.940 tests i feel like genuine like generally if the female has the respect levels that she should have

00:26:11.380 for you and she's going for the type of man that she a genuine king then the testing is not really

00:26:18.180 going to happen and going on to that the the split so talking about like the property with things

00:26:23.300 if if the female's earning of course it makes sense to communicate on on the choice to say that

00:26:28.660 ah do you know what i'm going to make the choice you're going to have problems in 10 years and

00:26:32.340 she's just going to bottle things up you're asking for a problem it's about it's genuinely

00:26:36.660 you have to communicate well with each other hear each other's voice and because it's different now

00:26:45.060 the percentage where but where where the man's earning all of the money is it's it's not really

00:26:50.020 happening like that females generally are working they're earning money they're doing projects however

00:26:54.740 she can be earning the same amount but if she really has trust in you she's going to let you

00:26:59.380 naturally leave with the decision the problem is there's a lot of men earning the same or a little

00:27:04.340 bit less than the female of course the female's not going to trust the man because a lot of these a

00:27:09.300 lot of these males out here i don't even trust them myself so like they can't they can't manage their

00:27:13.460 own money in that dynamic the woman actually has more so because that woman normally is in control of

00:27:18.660 the sex in the marriage and if the man doesn't do what she wants she's going it's going to become a

00:27:23.060 sexless marriage but then she's the she's the masculine one yeah that's what happened that's what happens

00:27:27.380 yeah she does she deserves that i can't i can't speak yeah that's why i personally wouldn't want

00:27:32.340 someone who's working i would want my wife to be a full-on stay-at-home wife so and that's how i

00:27:37.940 avoid that that situation that you just brought up uh what if she's working and then she wants to

00:27:42.740 contribute and then she gets to say in my opinion it should be the man's the only one dealing with

00:27:47.460 the money and financial side it's just it's just like nowadays it's idealistic you know what i think

00:27:51.700 the whole idea of there being no test sounds great but the purpose of a test is to prove how

00:27:57.060 competent someone is so if she's constantly testing you she's trying to show that how competent you are

00:28:02.180 and let's be honest you can never you can never get too comfortable so i think passive testing is

00:28:07.380 good but i don't think direct testing is good at all yeah i think i think it's intent like what's your

00:28:12.100 intent is it to make your man feel small or is to be like okay how is his leadership because i mean i i'm

00:28:17.460 a self-aware woman i don't again i don't know a single wife that wasn't that doesn't test her man

00:28:21.060 but mine is the only the only ish test that i have left that i even do and i think at this point in

00:28:26.740 time i like i think it might just be out of habit but the one thing i'll do is like i'll be thinking

00:28:32.500 in my head i'm like ah i want a glass of water but i don't want to get out of bed i'm like okay all

00:28:38.260 right let me see if he's gonna say yes because he might he might not and so i'll ask my husband like

00:28:42.740 hey can you give me a glass of water and sometimes he'll look at me for like three to five seconds and he's like

00:28:47.140 i kind of i think you can get that yourself and i'm like okay this man knows i'm capping he knows

00:28:52.100 i'm capping yeah yeah but it's good because if you can fold to me you'll fold to the world right so i

00:28:58.500 just i need to know that you can stand up to me because i'm not always going to be able to leave

00:29:01.700 myself like women i i'm gonna like confess it yeah like we're emotional and we're and we're hormonal

00:29:06.340 in many ways and so like if we're home because i'm also pregnant right now and so that first trimester

00:29:10.980 i'm like i need a man to guide me because i don't know where i'm taking myself at this point in time

00:29:15.140 but you guys were talking about the house that actually happened to me um my my husband he fell

00:29:20.180 in love with the house and he's very much if he finds something he likes that's what he's gonna

00:29:23.220 get and i was worried about it because it was a little bit it was a little bit expensive okay

00:29:27.300 and so i mean he did ask for my input though but i do give the the big life decisions i just give it

00:29:33.220 to my husband because i don't i don't want that responsibility on my shoulders i'm just being real

00:29:37.620 but um so we just looked at it and it was a risk and i was like well do you think that you

00:29:41.220 know we can pull it off because i know that my husband's also willing to have accountability

00:29:45.220 for a negative outcome and he's like yeah well it's a risk but i think we can swing it i think

00:29:49.540 we can pull it off and at the end of the day we did end up uh being able to do it so he he guessed

00:29:53.460 right and nothing bad happened and for women that are watching like even if your man fails sometimes

00:29:57.860 he's a human being like he's not going to get 100 right all the time you gotta at least be nice

00:30:02.500 about it because as wives like we make mistakes too often often probably more but the thing is

00:30:07.780 you get as a wife you get a lot of benefit of his decision so that's why he takes the risk of

00:30:14.340 doing the bigger decision because i can't for me i can't if i followed everything my wife did i'd be

00:30:22.340 in debt i couldn't afford i'd be in situations like that i'd be in this like that but it's up to me to

00:30:26.020 say no i'm gonna do what's best for us and you're and you're just gonna have to get on board because

00:30:30.500 whatever you do like you said about the money if he's buying a house he's not living in there by

00:30:34.980 himself like he's living in there with his wife his children so it's only going to benefit them

00:30:39.220 so it's like when we speak about money in general if a man earns more money than a woman usually the

00:30:44.660 woman gets all the benefit of that and that's not a negative thing he actually puts you in a better

00:30:48.180 position his way of thinking is that if i can work harder and make more money she might not have to

00:30:54.340 work as much she might not have to work at all she could be at home with our kids it's all in the

00:30:58.180 benefit of your of your significant other right but if we to flip it and women are like oh i'm gonna

00:31:04.340 earn all this money now they think okay i don't need someone because i earn this money so it never

00:31:08.340 benefits the man so whenever we have a conversation about money of oh i earn a certain amount of money

00:31:13.860 as a woman and that factors into their attraction it doesn't because it doesn't benefit the man

00:31:18.020 the same way a man with that amount of money whatever high amount you imagine that to be

00:31:22.580 would benefit his woman and his kids so i don't even need to speak anymore i have i have a question for

00:31:28.740 the men out of this list that we have um there's two things that i'm surprised none of you said i'm

00:31:34.500 going to curious if either of you put it on really quick if you guess there's two i'm surprised none

00:31:39.620 no one said wait no previous kids beauty feminine virtuous uh friend team player um knows how to keep

00:31:47.780 a house submissive loyal cooperative ability to learn silence um knows how to mop dust vacuum virgin ideally

00:31:55.540 cultural food and in shape there's two things i'm surprised no one put i think somebody said it

00:32:02.260 earlier i think i might have heard one someone said no previous kids oh no no that's part of virgin

00:32:06.900 isn't it yeah you can't find it there's no virgin i don't know well maybe you all are requiring me i

00:32:13.060 don't know i know you're definitely requiring you're requiring no one put sex oh i mean that comes on the

00:32:22.340 submissive i think oh what do you mean i thought that was a given yeah yeah one in four marriages

00:32:27.700 are sexless that's true you you guys think it's implied for some reason women do not think it's

00:32:32.740 implied but we feel like it's implied that you have to pay those bills every month so i just think

00:32:37.060 there's a miscommunication and good with kids no oh and good with kids and i think that comes from the

00:32:44.020 feminine though oh okay okay and character traits okay so on this list which one do modern women

00:32:49.460 struggle the most with oh virginity submissive and virginity i'd say those are the ones they

00:32:57.060 struggle with the most it'll be like virginity and then i'll put no sex

00:33:01.860 um okay what what it's a different one cooperative cooperative feminine so if you were going to give a

00:33:08.980 lesson on being cooperative what would you say it's not all about you that's that's where we start

00:33:14.260 it's not all about you but in a woman's world it always is a lot i think a lot of women tend to

00:33:19.780 center themselves and make everything about them when it's not about them and i think it's hard to

00:33:24.420 have a conversation at that point to fall on to that point as well they live in their own reality

00:33:29.140 their reality is their reality we live in the the real world like with real real world problems

00:33:33.940 real world interactions but they live in their own reality that's why they only see things through their

00:33:37.780 lens they don't see things through our lens as well because women live in their feelings whereas men

00:33:43.940 are always based on logic so that's that's what it boils down to at the end of the day so so what would

00:33:48.340 you tell her don't argue don't raise your voice to me i i i mean i've been with my wife like six

00:33:55.780 years and she's never raised her voice to me even if someone's messaging some somewhere and it can

00:34:00.740 sound like they got bass in their voice i'm like you need to take that bass out of your voice my guy

00:34:04.820 take the bass out of your voice literally just from the test then i think you have to i think

00:34:09.860 you have to let her know that i am not your enemy because women are very neurotic and they are designed

00:34:14.500 to see men as a threat so yeah i am not your enemy and then with that with that comes when you know

00:34:20.740 when they start being defensive yeah that's that's what comes that's what comes with that as well and

00:34:25.220 he's not your equal that's the other thing but i think a few times i mentioned about um understanding

00:34:32.980 and i think we're in a day and age now we're not expecting every girl to be a virgin

00:34:37.140 it may be unfortunate maybe but i think just being like understandings that fact

00:34:44.180 i think they don't really want the ability to like you're saying understand we've been we've been told so

00:34:50.580 much all the time it's about as long as the woman's happy happy wife happy life like divorces only

00:34:56.980 happen if the wife's unhappy i think a big part of that unhappiness is just feeling not heard or not

00:35:02.740 understood and there's there's only so much that you can do because if i'm just a crazy lady and i

00:35:06.660 never feel heard or understood like you know that's different but if you're actually doing some form of

00:35:10.660 communication that i'm like this man is not considering me at all then yeah okay that's fair listen listen

00:35:17.300 i was chilling with a girl once that i was seeing yeah this girl started crying we were sitting we

00:35:23.540 were sitting in my flat she started crying i said babe what's wrong she said i don't know

00:35:30.740 that's a good answer i said i said no like what's wrong what do you mean what what happened

00:35:38.260 she said i don't know i said why are you crying she said i don't know are you are you upset yeah i'm

00:35:44.340 upset what are you upset about what happened i don't know tears dripping from my eyes

00:35:52.340 what about what's what's the answer to that well i mean okay so a lot of women um like they can't

00:36:00.980 even say i don't know right so i that's actually pretty self-aware for her to be like look i don't

00:36:05.940 have a reason right because i mean you you guys have probably experienced it like sometimes we get mad

00:36:11.140 it has nothing to do with you i've had experiences like that where you know i go to my husband i'm

00:36:15.220 like i'm upset with you i don't know why there's no reason for it i'm in my feelings and he's like

00:36:20.740 all right i got it so i think that's better than nothing how would you guys respond to something like

00:36:25.780 that i think a big i think your situation where you're speaking about your husband versus your

00:36:33.620 situation it wasn't that relationship that's why it hit you different yo listen even if it was my

00:36:41.540 wife i'd still i'd be as baffled because there's something going on here and i don't know what to

00:36:47.540 do you don't even know there's no point as an assistant oh you want to fix it yeah you can't

00:36:52.180 fix it you don't know the thing that's bothering you so i just have to sit here and watch you in tears

00:36:58.420 tears and we don't we don't know why the tears are happening actually yes actually yes you just

00:37:05.140 like you sit there and watch me cry as long as you can take it and if you got a time limit you got a

00:37:09.300 time limit my husband give me 30 minutes you know what as well i think i think as men yeah i asked her to

00:37:15.140 go home i said to her not in a rude way i was just like you you've been here for three days maybe

00:37:21.460 maybe um you just need a you need a break why was she there for three days we've seen each other

00:37:29.060 but that's that's the point that's the point i'm saying though if it's your wife for five years

00:37:32.980 example then suddenly she's in her feelings where's she going but no but that's what i'm

00:37:39.460 but that's what i meant when i was that's what i meant when i was saying about that the difference

00:37:42.500 right differentiation in terms of like your wife now yeah it's not ideal but we got to deal with this

00:37:48.500 but when it's that it's an uber do you know what i mean so it's different it's a different

00:37:53.140 i don't think you really wanted her like long term like you say you're seeing each other but it's like

00:37:57.060 she's there for three days she starts crying you're like goodbye so i feel like you we weren't really

00:38:00.340 into it now if that was a woman you wanted to wife up i feel like you might have been a little

00:38:03.700 bit more patient no if if something's happening around me and there's no logical explanation i'm

00:38:14.100 gonna be just as confused it doesn't matter whether it's a wife a day it doesn't matter

00:38:22.100 the confusion like i don't know what to do with that you know what as well yeah i think some men

00:38:28.100 don't understand women in a sense of they just want to feel things so where she just emotional and

00:38:34.340 there's just no like explanation for it they just want to feel it and us looking for a solution is sort of

00:38:41.940 getting them out of that feminine thing because the feminine energy is naturally chaotic and confusing

00:38:47.700 we're very logical as men and women are very emotional so it does conflict when you try and

00:38:52.500 fix the problem because there might not even be a problem she might just be thinking there's a

00:38:56.900 problem when she can't actually articulate what the problem is or she can't actually imagine what

00:39:00.180 the problem is so she might actually just be crying for things that she's feeling but she doesn't

00:39:04.980 actually know what the problem is at all in those type of situations i think it would probably be best

00:39:09.460 just to leave her alone just let her do her ting let her cry have a moment after she's had her what

00:39:14.900 half an hour to cry and be like all right cool let's go do something else you take her mind off

00:39:18.820 whatever it is and then boom she's not upset no more to the ladies yeah do you actually um based on

00:39:23.620 what we've just said do you actually want solution oriented men to a degree because i mean i i'm i am

00:39:31.620 aware if i'm crying about something and it's just my feelings and i can say that and then if i want an

00:39:36.580 actual solution you know i have to articulate that to my husband like that's on me you know i need to

00:39:42.020 tell you i just want to feel heard right now or okay i want to feel heard also i need to fix this

00:39:47.700 problem and then he'll give you solutions but um it kind of gets in the way uh because you don't

00:39:52.180 necessarily want your man to be your therapist your therapist is supposed to you know solve your

00:39:55.940 your emotional feelings and things like that but you just want to you want to have somebody that cares

00:40:00.500 that you're in pain i think that's that's most of it but i think women don't understand that it is

00:40:03.700 quite painful for a man to see the woman that he cares about crying because you can't you're

00:40:07.220 helpless you can't do anything about it um but you know we there's some things that we just can't

00:40:11.940 help hormones are really really strong and it's not an excuse to have bad behavior but it is to let

00:40:18.180 you guys know like that's our reality right and i've been finding out a lot just being pregnant is

00:40:22.980 absolutely well your your wife is pregnant too what's it been like my guy what's it been like

00:40:28.420 she hasn't gone too too crazy yet now she's starting to get a little bit crazy yeah yeah i've

00:40:33.540 got something to add to the board as well understand that men cannot read your mind

00:40:37.780 yeah you have to articulate yourself or it's just going to respect or cooperative i'd stick it on both

00:40:45.860 it's its own thing you know okay not mine i'll put it as a i'll put it on the other side because these

00:40:51.220 are the action items a lot of the time though women think that men should be able to read their mind

00:40:55.860 like if they're upset or if they're hungry they expect their man to know but it's like

00:40:59.140 how do you expect me to know how the fuck do you expect me to know that i can start throwing things

00:41:04.180 like you're you hungry do you want a bath do you want some flowers have you guys ever been on road

00:41:08.420 shows with women yes yeah have you have you ever noticed that uh and i don't know this might not be

00:41:12.900 true for everyone we'll ask if you have to go to the bathroom because we have to go to the bathroom

00:41:18.340 yeah yeah i hate that so much i'm sorry just to answer paul's question because she asked as a man

00:41:24.660 like what do you do in that situation i think as a guy your kind of role is supposed to be i got this

00:41:29.780 um analogy from jay waller shout out to him but you're supposed to be that um cliff or that boulder

00:41:34.660 and her waves of emotion just crash into that and you just kind of subdue it if that makes sense yeah

00:41:39.940 yeah that made me feel warm and fuzzy inside i feel like that's correct yeah okay what about oh man

00:41:48.180 that broke um what about sex how often do you guys expect sex and actually let's hear from the

00:41:54.740 the married guy how often do you expect sex because because a lot of people have these ideas

00:42:01.060 in relationships and it's different than marriage so i'm curious from your point of view to me and

00:42:06.420 this is going to sound a bit wild but i just don't ever her don't ever expect her to say no if i want

00:42:12.180 to have sex that is the deal that we've made is as being married and you don't want me to do with

00:42:17.060 anyone else then that's what i should do and that seems to work literally on demand is what i'd say

00:42:24.180 on request i'm i'm not sure with this one because after i've seen a girl for a while it tends to be

00:42:29.300 her who's always wanting it and i'm a bit like uh i don't want to be like there's a reason that means

00:42:34.020 that she's attracted to you that's good there's a reason for that though because scientifically men's

00:42:38.980 sex drive declines as they age whereas women's increases as they age yeah but it's not it's not

00:42:44.660 like my sex drives declined it's just like imagine you as a guy like how many times a day do you really

00:42:49.460 want to like have sex it's not it's it's not only not only it's not just that that that's that is a

00:42:55.620 fact but it's not just that it's also once you've hit it and then you hit it again it starts to you

00:43:03.300 know i'm saying you lose that's what i was gonna say about the variety so do you think variety plays an

00:43:06.740 aspect of that as well um no because you can still be into the girl but it's just that that

00:43:10.820 energy thing like because for me sometimes i don't even want to like not during sex because i want to

00:43:15.060 retain that energy so it's just like oh we have to go again and i have to like use up energy and i'm

00:43:20.100 potentially gonna if i haven't bust i haven't had sex i think it actually just comes down to the guy

00:43:27.060 sometimes he just wants to bust a nut he's just he's stressed he needs to release that energy and he's

00:43:31.780 gonna and the wife is his release so at that point it needs to be on demand because the guy has a

00:43:36.260 build-up he wants to release it well i mean you can't like i can't turn on the water faucet on

00:43:40.900 demand you know what i mean then give head okay i feel like i feel like pearl you're pushing towards

00:43:48.660 how many times a day versus how many days in a week do you know i mean no i'm just saying like

00:43:54.340 okay she's in a way your employee right now there's this much that there's like a minimum amount of work

00:44:01.460 required yeah what would you i what would you expect i would say there's no maximum and there's

00:44:07.620 no minimum it's what he said just never say no never say no just never say no if we're in a

00:44:12.660 relationship or we're married and if you want to have it then i won't say no to you if i want to have

00:44:17.780 it then you don't say no to me it's this it's fair that way well i think sex drive is like very

00:44:22.180 varied by men i know men have a higher sex drive than women for sure just because of testosterone levels

00:44:26.500 we have like 117th all the way to like 175th of like what you guys have some of the time but

00:44:30.740 like some men they want it you know three times a day and then other men they want it a couple

00:44:35.220 times a week and i also think that that honeymoon period you just want to do it all the time on both

00:44:40.340 sides right so i think it depends on the guy is the question differently so we're in wife school

00:44:45.140 and we're saying like this is what you should how often should you expect to have sex in a relationship

00:44:50.820 at a minimum one to three times a week that's a healthy marriage it sounds like three times a week

00:44:54.580 minimum three times a week be prepared for at least once a day i'd say okay can i ask when we're

00:45:00.260 saying one to three times a week we're talking individual actions like so that could be like

00:45:06.420 once on a monday once on a wednesday and once on a friday and that's a that's a good amount is that

00:45:10.820 what we're saying i'm asking what is it yeah i know you said one to three times a week is a is a standard

00:45:16.340 marriage and if well like that no that's not i don't think that's a standard marriage that's a

00:45:20.820 healthy marriage so i'm saying i'm saying in your ideal world we have a wife school we're saying to

00:45:26.980 the future wives we're saying this is how much you should expect to have sex with your husband

00:45:31.380 three to i feel three to five is a week hours three to five days three to five days a week at least once a

00:45:37.940 day at least once a day at least once a day minimum once once a day maybe even more on some occasions

00:45:44.740 maybe maybe that their answer is the correct answer but i would say i don't think there's a number

00:45:50.660 i believe what these two gentlemen uh said earlier as in on demand because on demand doesn't necessarily

00:45:57.540 mean once a day it could be once a week it could be um three times a week it could be once every

00:46:04.420 two weeks as long as when the guy wants it he gets it um i think i think i think there's no number

00:46:12.100 it's just about that fulfillment yeah when when sex becomes routine it does get a bit dead so yeah on

00:46:17.620 demand works best for everyone even though on demand sounds harsh but as i just described it could mean

00:46:23.380 has to be said okay so so let me ask you this because like well if women are watching this you're just

00:46:27.540 getting intimidated right but um so like i think this can run into a problem where your wife is

00:46:35.700 having sex with you even if she doesn't want to and i think that that's fair but i think psychologically

00:46:39.620 it can kind of you know just like kill the mood completely so what is your stance on that because

00:46:44.100 there are times where you're not going to be in the mood as a woman or maybe you're stressed out or

00:46:48.180 you know like like kids and things like that so like what level of understanding you know can a woman

00:46:53.460 expect from a man i guess i think that goes both ways yeah yeah i mean don't starve him you know

00:46:58.020 what i mean like you got you can't because then you can't get mad if he cheats right yeah well i think

00:47:01.540 look there's different expectations how you guys feel about us putting our weight paying bills

00:47:07.060 supporting in household whatever it may be all these things we expect the same level of of stuff when

00:47:12.020 we're talking about physical intimacy so when you're talking about old all of these things are

00:47:16.020 happening with kids and family that's fine but does that mean that if all those things are happening

00:47:20.740 for me as well i don't get sex because of that like i still there's still things i have to commit

00:47:25.380 to well it's like do you want you you can't manufacture genuine desire right so like my point

00:47:30.420 is this like if you are married probably like to your first choice because this is probably how that

00:47:34.180 would work it's like you can't wait to jump his bones you know what i mean like you have that and

00:47:37.860 but i think there are seasons of life where you do have stress and then so is that really what you

00:47:42.740 would want is just like sex even when she doesn't want it now however i do think some women fully expect

00:47:47.620 that but once you get started you do end up getting in the mood so you know it could be like

00:47:51.540 a five to ten minute situation where she's like okay actually i wanted to have sex the whole time

00:47:55.060 i just didn't know so i guess like that's what i'm trying to pick your guys's brains about do you

00:47:58.580 want a woman to have sex with you even if she doesn't want to yes it should be a duty because

00:48:02.500 at the end of the day you can't say to a man a man isn't allowed to say oh i don't want to pay

00:48:06.500 the rent this week or i don't want to i don't want to go to you don't want to protect you exactly oh

00:48:10.500 there's a there's a burglar cut now you can kill her at first it's fine like your man's not allowed to

00:48:14.820 the same way i believe a woman's not actually allowed to if she wants to have a healthy marriage

00:48:18.420 or relationship it needs to be like that

JustPearlyThings - July 10, 2023

What Women Should Bring To The TABLE

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