JustPearlyThings - July 19, 2023


Why Female Therapists ABSOLUTELY SUCK!!!


Episode Stats

Length

9 minutes

Words per Minute

221.56987

Word Count

2,214

Sentence Count

210

Misogynist Sentences

27

Hate Speech Sentences

18


Summary

Where have all the good women gone? Why are there not more good women in society? Why is it so hard to find a good woman? What are the reasons why there aren t many good women anymore?


Transcript

00:00:00.320 Today, we're going to talk about where have all the good women gone?
00:00:04.480 So one thing I always hear is where have all the good men gone, right, in society.
00:00:09.540 However, I just started looking up some stats, okay?
00:00:12.240 One in three women have an STD.
00:00:14.080 One in three women have had an abortion.
00:00:15.620 38% of kids are born into single-parent homes.
00:00:18.120 The average age of first child is 26, which is before the average age of first marriage,
00:00:22.300 which is 30.
00:00:23.680 45% of marriages end in divorce.
00:00:25.460 The average number of partners for a woman is between four and eight.
00:00:28.880 And when women get above five partners, their chance of a happy marriage goes from 80% to
00:00:34.460 20%, depends on the study, plus or minus 10%.
00:00:37.300 And if men pick the wrong woman, they can be financially ruined and their kids can be taken
00:00:43.680 from them.
00:00:44.640 And on top of that, 70% of women, 60, 70% of women are overweight in the U.S.
00:00:51.520 So the question is, how does a guy identify a good woman?
00:00:56.180 And what percent of women do you think are good women?
00:00:58.880 Mm, really good question.
00:01:01.180 How does a guy identify a good woman?
00:01:02.920 I think mostly it's looks, but that's not how they do it.
00:01:06.060 But I think it's about a vibe, actually.
00:01:08.880 It's about an energy and it's about respect.
00:01:12.520 If a woman, you know, can really show this man that she respects him.
00:01:16.460 Okay.
00:01:16.760 But in the beginning, that's challenging.
00:01:18.400 Mm-hmm.
00:01:18.580 Because, you know, you're on a first date.
00:01:20.040 I think the first indication is usually looks.
00:01:22.500 What was the second question, Pearl?
00:01:23.920 What percent of women do you think are good women?
00:01:26.180 Ooh, in this day and age.
00:01:27.780 Yes.
00:01:28.100 I think women are so confused.
00:01:30.400 It's really hard to say.
00:01:31.540 I would say, good woman, what do you mean by that?
00:01:34.620 What I mean by that?
00:01:35.640 I think a good woman is probably less than 10% these days.
00:01:38.340 Okay.
00:01:38.620 I think a good woman is a healed woman.
00:01:41.600 So I feel like the reason why there's not much good women out there is because no one
00:01:46.300 really knows how to heal and recover from their past relationships and traumas.
00:01:50.780 And so they bring those over.
00:01:52.300 Wouldn't good women not be, like, broken to begin with?
00:01:54.360 Yeah, 100%.
00:01:54.960 Yeah.
00:01:55.440 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:01:56.140 And so I feel like they found ways to heal and they've, like, taken time out to isolate
00:02:01.140 themselves.
00:02:01.920 And I feel like maybe then they will be able to move forward and find the right partner
00:02:05.820 for the right reasons.
00:02:06.720 And I feel like why the percentage may be so low is because no one's really willing
00:02:12.580 to do the hard, dark shadow work.
00:02:15.060 What do you mean shadow work?
00:02:16.580 Because whenever I hear, like, this stuff, no offense, like the shadow work, the healing,
00:02:21.180 I always hear, like, nothing.
00:02:23.100 Yeah.
00:02:23.280 Like, never, like, real concrete steps of, like, so if you're a woman and you're trying
00:02:27.080 to improve, what do you do?
00:02:28.400 So you're trying to, like, your ego, you know, the dark side of you, the side that you
00:02:33.340 don't show anyone but it can come out.
00:02:34.980 So you're trying to, like, kind of tame that and work on your insecurities and all the
00:02:39.600 things that you don't want people to see.
00:02:41.760 Okay.
00:02:41.940 And so you can...
00:02:43.060 How do you work on them?
00:02:44.620 I mean, for me personally, I write down, I journal stuff.
00:02:47.940 So I write things down, my fears or things I don't like about myself or that I want to
00:02:52.100 change or that I feel I'm expressing maybe in the wrong way.
00:02:56.720 And so I try and, like, find ways to fix that and just, you know, work on the side.
00:03:00.480 So how are you, like, held...
00:03:01.740 You know, like, if I want to lose weight, you go to a personal trainer and they say,
00:03:04.880 like, good, bad, like, how do you hold yourself accountable to...
00:03:07.900 Oh, doing research, finding a routine, making sure that you're consistently keeping up with
00:03:12.780 things and maintaining that process.
00:03:15.760 Yeah.
00:03:16.760 This just kind of sounds like nothing to me.
00:03:18.720 Do you think?
00:03:18.980 Yeah.
00:03:19.280 Yeah.
00:03:19.300 I'm just...
00:03:20.600 I'm sorry.
00:03:21.220 But it's real.
00:03:21.980 No, no, it's not.
00:03:22.480 No, no.
00:03:22.940 But, like, whenever I hear girls, like, talk about this, it just sounds like, okay, I write
00:03:27.740 in my journal and I Google things online and I try to be better, but there's no, like,
00:03:34.740 accountability, like, anyone keeping you in check to, like, show that you are getting
00:03:38.260 better.
00:03:38.860 I think most people don't have anyone to keep them in check.
00:03:42.700 When there's a will, there's a way.
00:03:43.860 If you really want to change, then you will make sure that you get that shit done.
00:03:47.040 Right, so, so, so if you're talking to a guy and he says, like, okay, you, you said
00:03:52.180 I was broken before, I'm healed now, like, what steps would you show him that I am now
00:03:55.540 healed?
00:03:56.820 You're able to be more compassionate and less judgmental and more open and vulnerable.
00:04:02.420 Okay, so how could you prove that you are?
00:04:04.440 Just by being, just by being that.
00:04:07.000 I mean, I feel like time will tell.
00:04:09.400 Okay.
00:04:09.880 You know?
00:04:10.280 Okay.
00:04:10.960 Because, like, I was just thinking, like, if you want to concrete steps, it's, like, married
00:04:14.460 mentors, maybe a male therapist, like, that sort of thing.
00:04:18.140 I just never hear, whenever I hear women's self-improvement, it's always, like, be more
00:04:21.980 confident, write in a journal and Google things.
00:04:24.580 No fact, like, respectfully, so I just, I just don't understand it.
00:04:27.200 But you know what's crazy?
00:04:28.100 I've tried, personally, I've tried therapy, and I've, and the first time I tried it, I
00:04:32.000 walked out in an anger and rage that I was, like, fuming.
00:04:35.380 And the second time, I told her, look, it's not going to work.
00:04:37.560 I don't think you can fix my problems.
00:04:38.740 You know what, I agree with you.
00:04:40.420 I've been to therapists before, and I just thought therapy was, like, stupid for the
00:04:43.580 most part.
00:04:44.220 And now I'm in school for psychology, and I see the women that are therapists, and they're
00:04:47.720 nuts.
00:04:48.560 I would not go to therapy for any of these girls.
00:04:49.520 Yeah, I feel like they just, they don't care.
00:04:51.020 They're just getting paid to do what they need to do.
00:04:53.020 They don't give a fuck, so.
00:04:54.140 Yeah, yeah.
00:04:55.200 But, but I do think there are some male therapists that are helpful.
00:04:58.040 Absolutely.
00:04:58.160 I just think it's mostly, like, male.
00:05:00.840 What do you think about that?
00:05:02.840 I've never had a male therapist, and I wouldn't go to a male therapist.
00:05:05.740 What?
00:05:05.840 Because I need to, I need to connect with a woman that's, like, do you know what I
00:05:08.580 mean, like, women's women?
00:05:09.360 It's broken like you.
00:05:10.360 No, not that's broken like me.
00:05:11.340 Not necessarily, but I feel like women connect easier.
00:05:14.440 No, I think, I think women look to comfort, and men look to solve problems, and that's
00:05:17.780 why I don't think therapy works when they're women.
00:05:19.760 Most of the time, there's exceptions, because, like, men, like, women are just
00:05:22.760 going to comfort you.
00:05:23.740 They're going to tell you what you want to hear, where men will tell you how to
00:05:26.120 fix it.
00:05:26.640 But the problem is, like, women, we never want to fix it, like, actually fix it.
00:05:30.900 That's interesting.
00:05:31.780 Yeah, it's true.
00:05:32.560 I had a male therapist, actually.
00:05:34.200 Okay.
00:05:34.440 I had a therapist for eight years.
00:05:37.980 I'm not in therapy anymore, but the first four years, it was a woman, and the last four
00:05:42.620 years, a man, and I'm not in therapy anymore, and I'm like, I'm good now, but that's because
00:05:46.720 it was a man, not a woman, because when I was with a woman, they would just sit there
00:05:49.600 and soak in all my issues and all the problems, and there was never a solve or a solution.
00:05:54.500 No one was trying to help me.
00:05:55.960 And then trauma.
00:05:57.200 What's your, like, and they call everything trauma.
00:05:59.160 Everything trauma.
00:05:59.620 You know what?
00:05:59.880 Everything's abuse or trauma.
00:06:01.100 I'm like, what the fuck?
00:06:01.760 What do you mean?
00:06:02.720 You know, Pearl, I don't believe in trauma.
00:06:04.320 I don't believe in trauma either.
00:06:05.980 It's a bunch of BS.
00:06:07.160 It's just so that psychologists can make money off of it.
00:06:09.900 Yeah.
00:06:10.300 Well, I do.
00:06:10.920 I do believe in, like, war trauma, like, from war.
00:06:14.080 What do you mean?
00:06:14.560 Like, I think if a guy goes to war and sees things, that's real trauma.
00:06:18.860 But the way we use it today, my ex-boyfriend cheated on me.
00:06:23.460 I saw something.
00:06:24.280 It's just, everything's trauma.
00:06:26.220 Everything.
00:06:26.700 But can I say something?
00:06:27.460 Don't you think there's something called unhealed baggage that we'd be carrying with
00:06:30.820 us because we haven't overcome how we felt in the last relationship?
00:06:33.320 I think you should just get over it.
00:06:34.880 Okay.
00:06:36.220 Yeah.
00:06:36.900 Yeah.
00:06:37.240 I think that we should quit whining.
00:06:39.980 Our great-grandmothers had to deal with it.
00:06:42.200 Like, they used to have plagues and shit.
00:06:44.380 Getting cheated on.
00:06:45.460 Like, this is just the example I'm using.
00:06:47.020 But most of modern-day problems are really nothing compared to, like, 100, 200 years ago.
00:06:53.060 You could get the plague and, like, die, you know.
00:06:56.800 That'd be traumatic, being afraid, you know.
00:06:58.720 And you're right.
00:06:59.240 Do you know what?
00:06:59.640 Because I feel like, personally, I've been through so much.
00:07:01.480 I haven't had real therapy.
00:07:02.700 And I'm strong.
00:07:03.620 I'm still going.
00:07:04.800 You know what I mean?
00:07:05.200 I don't really.
00:07:05.560 It's not affecting me.
00:07:06.600 Maybe it is, in a way.
00:07:08.480 But it's not intervening in my life.
00:07:11.320 Yeah.
00:07:11.860 Strongly.
00:07:12.560 The reveling in the story is what a lot of the women therapists were using.
00:07:16.040 Penelope's my daughter.
00:07:17.100 And they were, you know, really listening to your story and giving a lot of emphasis to it.
00:07:22.760 Like, you were really overweight.
00:07:24.460 And the therapists were like, no, no, don't talk about it.
00:07:27.120 Don't try to help her lose weight.
00:07:29.160 And I'm like, what do you mean?
00:07:30.400 Like, we've got to fix this problem.
00:07:31.480 Like, what's the plan?
00:07:32.820 It was so frustrating.
00:07:34.400 So they wouldn't try to solve.
00:07:36.400 Like, how big were you?
00:07:37.440 I was 300 pounds.
00:07:38.900 Shut up.
00:07:39.580 I was 300 pounds.
00:07:40.760 You look great.
00:07:41.600 Can we get us?
00:07:42.820 Can we get us?
00:07:45.040 How did your life change from going from 300 pounds to, I don't know what you are now,
00:07:49.480 but clearly not.
00:07:50.040 So I lost 130 pounds, actually.
00:07:52.000 Wow.
00:07:52.740 And you're tall, too.
00:07:54.000 Yes.
00:07:54.360 What are you, 6'2"?
00:07:55.360 No, 5'9 1⁄2".
00:07:56.660 Oh, shit.
00:07:57.020 You look tall as heck.
00:07:58.640 We'll compare after.
00:07:59.440 Okay.
00:08:00.480 But basically, I was, you know, I think part of the problem was because I was in therapy
00:08:03.900 for so long, and nobody told me in therapy that there was anything wrong with me.
00:08:07.980 And I had depression.
00:08:09.020 I had anxiety.
00:08:09.740 I had suicidal thoughts.
00:08:10.780 And I was not.
00:08:11.580 I didn't have a good relationship with my father at the time.
00:08:14.460 And nobody was saying, oh, you need to lose the weight.
00:08:17.060 Your life will be better if you just do that.
00:08:18.980 Nobody.
00:08:19.360 They tried to give me medication.
00:08:20.540 They tried to give me pills.
00:08:21.680 They tried to put me in more therapy.
00:08:23.940 And it wasn't until one day I looked in the mirror and I'm like, I don't want to be like
00:08:27.020 this anymore.
00:08:27.560 I don't want to feel like this anymore.
00:08:29.120 And to be honest, the body positivity movement crushed my soul and told me, oh, you should
00:08:34.860 be, you know, you're beautiful no matter what size you are.
00:08:37.420 You're beautiful no matter, you know, how much you weigh.
00:08:40.200 You're beautiful no matter what you eat.
00:08:41.420 You can eat anything you want.
00:08:42.860 And you're gorgeous.
00:08:43.840 Go, girl.
00:08:44.240 And I thought it was okay.
00:08:46.400 Wow.
00:08:46.820 I thought it was okay because no one said anything.
00:08:49.180 And I could be sitting here if 300 pounds are enough.
00:08:51.220 I didn't make the decision to say, Penelope, you need to get your butt off the couch and
00:08:54.820 work out.
00:08:55.580 Fix your diet.
00:08:56.360 Fix your mental health.
00:08:57.360 Fix everything.
00:08:58.560 And now I'm perfectly fine.
00:09:00.420 No meds.
00:09:01.540 Just naturally.
00:09:02.760 All natural.
00:09:03.980 What do you, do you think that contributes to 70% of women being overweight in the U.S.?
00:09:08.740 Completely.
00:09:09.940 I completely think that.
00:09:11.880 Yeah, go ahead.
00:09:12.540 No, I just think that, I think that the fact that people are obese and that they make all
00:09:15.900 these excuses for, oh, I'm obese because of this, I'm obese because you can lose weight
00:09:19.560 no matter what.
00:09:20.240 Anyone can lose weight.
00:09:21.380 It's just about finding the right way to do it.
00:09:23.800 And what do you think of the women that say we need like representation in magazines, we
00:09:29.220 need fat chicks on the cover, Victoria's Secret fashion show.
00:09:33.600 It repulses me.
00:09:34.640 So.
00:09:35.220 It repulses me to see that.
00:09:36.540 Because you've been there.
00:09:37.240 It does because I've been there and not only that, but you are showing thousands and millions
00:09:41.980 of women in the world that it is one, okay to be unhealthy, two, okay to be slowly killing
00:09:46.840 yourself and three, okay to go outside and dress provocatively with your rolls out.
00:09:54.460 I was a plus size model.
00:09:56.160 Really?
00:09:56.560 Like in the 90s.
00:09:57.300 You were a plus size model.
00:09:58.520 In the 90s, yeah.