JustPearlyThings - Why Female Therapists ABSOLUTELY SUCK!!!

00:00:00.320 Today, we're going to talk about where have all the good women gone?

00:00:04.480 So one thing I always hear is where have all the good men gone, right, in society.

00:00:09.540 However, I just started looking up some stats, okay?

00:00:12.240 One in three women have an STD.

00:00:14.080 One in three women have had an abortion.

00:00:15.620 38% of kids are born into single-parent homes.

00:00:18.120 The average age of first child is 26, which is before the average age of first marriage,

00:00:22.300 which is 30.

00:00:23.680 45% of marriages end in divorce.

00:00:25.460 The average number of partners for a woman is between four and eight.

00:00:28.880 And when women get above five partners, their chance of a happy marriage goes from 80% to 0.99

00:00:34.460 20%, depends on the study, plus or minus 10%.

00:00:37.300 And if men pick the wrong woman, they can be financially ruined and their kids can be taken 0.92

00:00:43.680 from them.

00:00:44.640 And on top of that, 70% of women, 60, 70% of women are overweight in the U.S. 0.94

00:00:51.520 So the question is, how does a guy identify a good woman?

00:00:56.180 And what percent of women do you think are good women? 0.99

00:00:58.880 Mm, really good question.

00:01:01.180 How does a guy identify a good woman?

00:01:02.920 I think mostly it's looks, but that's not how they do it.

00:01:06.060 But I think it's about a vibe, actually.

00:01:08.880 It's about an energy and it's about respect.

00:01:12.520 If a woman, you know, can really show this man that she respects him. 0.98

00:01:16.460 Okay.

00:01:16.760 But in the beginning, that's challenging.

00:01:18.400 Mm-hmm.

00:01:18.580 Because, you know, you're on a first date.

00:01:20.040 I think the first indication is usually looks.

00:01:22.500 What was the second question, Pearl?

00:01:23.920 What percent of women do you think are good women? 1.00

00:01:26.180 Ooh, in this day and age.

00:01:27.780 Yes.

00:01:28.100 I think women are so confused. 1.00

00:01:30.400 It's really hard to say.

00:01:31.540 I would say, good woman, what do you mean by that?

00:01:34.620 What I mean by that?

00:01:35.640 I think a good woman is probably less than 10% these days. 1.00

00:01:38.340 Okay.

00:01:38.620 I think a good woman is a healed woman. 0.97

00:01:41.600 So I feel like the reason why there's not much good women out there is because no one 1.00

00:01:46.300 really knows how to heal and recover from their past relationships and traumas.

00:01:50.780 And so they bring those over.

00:01:52.300 Wouldn't good women not be, like, broken to begin with? 1.00

00:01:54.360 Yeah, 100%.

00:01:54.960 Yeah.

00:01:55.440 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:01:56.140 And so I feel like they found ways to heal and they've, like, taken time out to isolate

00:02:01.140 themselves.

00:02:01.920 And I feel like maybe then they will be able to move forward and find the right partner

00:02:05.820 for the right reasons.

00:02:06.720 And I feel like why the percentage may be so low is because no one's really willing

00:02:12.580 to do the hard, dark shadow work.

00:02:15.060 What do you mean shadow work?

00:02:16.580 Because whenever I hear, like, this stuff, no offense, like the shadow work, the healing,

00:02:21.180 I always hear, like, nothing.

00:02:23.100 Yeah.

00:02:23.280 Like, never, like, real concrete steps of, like, so if you're a woman and you're trying

00:02:27.080 to improve, what do you do?

00:02:28.400 So you're trying to, like, your ego, you know, the dark side of you, the side that you

00:02:33.340 don't show anyone but it can come out.

00:02:34.980 So you're trying to, like, kind of tame that and work on your insecurities and all the

00:02:39.600 things that you don't want people to see.

00:02:41.760 Okay.

00:02:41.940 And so you can...

00:02:43.060 How do you work on them?

00:02:44.620 I mean, for me personally, I write down, I journal stuff.

00:02:47.940 So I write things down, my fears or things I don't like about myself or that I want to

00:02:52.100 change or that I feel I'm expressing maybe in the wrong way.

00:02:56.720 And so I try and, like, find ways to fix that and just, you know, work on the side.

00:03:00.480 So how are you, like, held...

00:03:01.740 You know, like, if I want to lose weight, you go to a personal trainer and they say,

00:03:04.880 like, good, bad, like, how do you hold yourself accountable to...

00:03:07.900 Oh, doing research, finding a routine, making sure that you're consistently keeping up with

00:03:12.780 things and maintaining that process.

00:03:15.760 Yeah.

00:03:16.760 This just kind of sounds like nothing to me.

00:03:18.720 Do you think?

00:03:18.980 Yeah.

00:03:19.280 Yeah.

00:03:19.300 I'm just...

00:03:20.600 I'm sorry.

00:03:21.220 But it's real.

00:03:21.980 No, no, it's not.

00:03:22.480 No, no.

00:03:22.940 But, like, whenever I hear girls, like, talk about this, it just sounds like, okay, I write 0.97

00:03:27.740 in my journal and I Google things online and I try to be better, but there's no, like,

00:03:34.740 accountability, like, anyone keeping you in check to, like, show that you are getting

00:03:38.260 better.

00:03:38.860 I think most people don't have anyone to keep them in check.

00:03:42.700 When there's a will, there's a way.

00:03:43.860 If you really want to change, then you will make sure that you get that shit done.

00:03:47.040 Right, so, so, so if you're talking to a guy and he says, like, okay, you, you said

00:03:52.180 I was broken before, I'm healed now, like, what steps would you show him that I am now

00:03:55.540 healed?

00:03:56.820 You're able to be more compassionate and less judgmental and more open and vulnerable.

00:04:02.420 Okay, so how could you prove that you are?

00:04:04.440 Just by being, just by being that.

00:04:07.000 I mean, I feel like time will tell.

00:04:09.400 Okay.

00:04:09.880 You know?

00:04:10.280 Okay.

00:04:10.960 Because, like, I was just thinking, like, if you want to concrete steps, it's, like, married

00:04:14.460 mentors, maybe a male therapist, like, that sort of thing.

00:04:18.140 I just never hear, whenever I hear women's self-improvement, it's always, like, be more 1.00

00:04:21.980 confident, write in a journal and Google things.

00:04:24.580 No fact, like, respectfully, so I just, I just don't understand it.

00:04:27.200 But you know what's crazy?

00:04:28.100 I've tried, personally, I've tried therapy, and I've, and the first time I tried it, I

00:04:32.000 walked out in an anger and rage that I was, like, fuming.

00:04:35.380 And the second time, I told her, look, it's not going to work.

00:04:37.560 I don't think you can fix my problems.

00:04:38.740 You know what, I agree with you.

00:04:40.420 I've been to therapists before, and I just thought therapy was, like, stupid for the

00:04:43.580 most part.

00:04:44.220 And now I'm in school for psychology, and I see the women that are therapists, and they're 0.96

00:04:47.720 nuts.

00:04:48.560 I would not go to therapy for any of these girls.

00:04:49.520 Yeah, I feel like they just, they don't care.

00:04:51.020 They're just getting paid to do what they need to do.

00:04:53.020 They don't give a fuck, so.

00:04:54.140 Yeah, yeah.

00:04:55.200 But, but I do think there are some male therapists that are helpful. 0.85

00:04:58.040 Absolutely.

00:04:58.160 I just think it's mostly, like, male.

00:05:00.840 What do you think about that?

00:05:02.840 I've never had a male therapist, and I wouldn't go to a male therapist.

00:05:05.740 What?

00:05:05.840 Because I need to, I need to connect with a woman that's, like, do you know what I

00:05:08.580 mean, like, women's women? 1.00

00:05:09.360 It's broken like you.

00:05:10.360 No, not that's broken like me.

00:05:11.340 Not necessarily, but I feel like women connect easier. 0.99

00:05:14.440 No, I think, I think women look to comfort, and men look to solve problems, and that's 0.97

00:05:17.780 why I don't think therapy works when they're women. 1.00

00:05:19.760 Most of the time, there's exceptions, because, like, men, like, women are just 1.00

00:05:22.760 going to comfort you.

00:05:23.740 They're going to tell you what you want to hear, where men will tell you how to 0.98

00:05:26.120 fix it.

00:05:26.640 But the problem is, like, women, we never want to fix it, like, actually fix it. 1.00

00:05:30.900 That's interesting.

00:05:31.780 Yeah, it's true.

00:05:32.560 I had a male therapist, actually.

00:05:34.200 Okay.

00:05:34.440 I had a therapist for eight years.

00:05:37.980 I'm not in therapy anymore, but the first four years, it was a woman, and the last four 1.00

00:05:42.620 years, a man, and I'm not in therapy anymore, and I'm like, I'm good now, but that's because

00:05:46.720 it was a man, not a woman, because when I was with a woman, they would just sit there 1.00

00:05:49.600 and soak in all my issues and all the problems, and there was never a solve or a solution.

00:05:54.500 No one was trying to help me.

00:05:55.960 And then trauma.

00:05:57.200 What's your, like, and they call everything trauma.

00:05:59.160 Everything trauma.

00:05:59.620 You know what?

00:05:59.880 Everything's abuse or trauma.

00:06:01.100 I'm like, what the fuck?

00:06:01.760 What do you mean?

00:06:02.720 You know, Pearl, I don't believe in trauma.

00:06:04.320 I don't believe in trauma either.

00:06:05.980 It's a bunch of BS.

00:06:07.160 It's just so that psychologists can make money off of it.

00:06:09.900 Yeah.

00:06:10.300 Well, I do.

00:06:10.920 I do believe in, like, war trauma, like, from war.

00:06:14.080 What do you mean?

00:06:14.560 Like, I think if a guy goes to war and sees things, that's real trauma.

00:06:18.860 But the way we use it today, my ex-boyfriend cheated on me.

00:06:23.460 I saw something.

00:06:24.280 It's just, everything's trauma.

00:06:26.220 Everything.

00:06:26.700 But can I say something?

00:06:27.460 Don't you think there's something called unhealed baggage that we'd be carrying with

00:06:30.820 us because we haven't overcome how we felt in the last relationship?

00:06:33.320 I think you should just get over it.

00:06:34.880 Okay.

00:06:36.220 Yeah.

00:06:36.900 Yeah.

00:06:37.240 I think that we should quit whining.

00:06:39.980 Our great-grandmothers had to deal with it. 1.00

00:06:42.200 Like, they used to have plagues and shit.

00:06:44.380 Getting cheated on.

00:06:45.460 Like, this is just the example I'm using.

00:06:47.020 But most of modern-day problems are really nothing compared to, like, 100, 200 years ago.

00:06:53.060 You could get the plague and, like, die, you know.

00:06:56.800 That'd be traumatic, being afraid, you know.

00:06:58.720 And you're right.

00:06:59.240 Do you know what?

00:06:59.640 Because I feel like, personally, I've been through so much.

00:07:01.480 I haven't had real therapy.

00:07:02.700 And I'm strong.

00:07:03.620 I'm still going.

00:07:04.800 You know what I mean?

00:07:05.200 I don't really.

00:07:05.560 It's not affecting me.

00:07:06.600 Maybe it is, in a way.

00:07:08.480 But it's not intervening in my life.

00:07:11.320 Yeah.

00:07:11.860 Strongly.

00:07:12.560 The reveling in the story is what a lot of the women therapists were using. 1.00

00:07:16.040 Penelope's my daughter.

00:07:17.100 And they were, you know, really listening to your story and giving a lot of emphasis to it.

00:07:22.760 Like, you were really overweight.

00:07:24.460 And the therapists were like, no, no, don't talk about it.

00:07:27.120 Don't try to help her lose weight.

00:07:29.160 And I'm like, what do you mean?

00:07:30.400 Like, we've got to fix this problem.

00:07:31.480 Like, what's the plan?

00:07:32.820 It was so frustrating.

00:07:34.400 So they wouldn't try to solve.

00:07:36.400 Like, how big were you?

00:07:37.440 I was 300 pounds.

00:07:38.900 Shut up. 0.95

00:07:39.580 I was 300 pounds.

00:07:40.760 You look great.

00:07:41.600 Can we get us?

00:07:42.820 Can we get us?

00:07:45.040 How did your life change from going from 300 pounds to, I don't know what you are now,

00:07:49.480 but clearly not.

00:07:50.040 So I lost 130 pounds, actually.

00:07:52.000 Wow.

00:07:52.740 And you're tall, too.

00:07:54.000 Yes.

00:07:54.360 What are you, 6'2"?

00:07:55.360 No, 5'9 1⁄2".

00:07:56.660 Oh, shit.

00:07:57.020 You look tall as heck.

00:07:58.640 We'll compare after.

00:07:59.440 Okay.

00:08:00.480 But basically, I was, you know, I think part of the problem was because I was in therapy

00:08:03.900 for so long, and nobody told me in therapy that there was anything wrong with me.

00:08:07.980 And I had depression.

00:08:09.020 I had anxiety.

00:08:09.740 I had suicidal thoughts.

00:08:10.780 And I was not.

00:08:11.580 I didn't have a good relationship with my father at the time.

00:08:14.460 And nobody was saying, oh, you need to lose the weight.

00:08:17.060 Your life will be better if you just do that.

00:08:18.980 Nobody.

00:08:19.360 They tried to give me medication.

00:08:20.540 They tried to give me pills.

00:08:21.680 They tried to put me in more therapy.

00:08:23.940 And it wasn't until one day I looked in the mirror and I'm like, I don't want to be like

00:08:27.020 this anymore.

00:08:27.560 I don't want to feel like this anymore.

00:08:29.120 And to be honest, the body positivity movement crushed my soul and told me, oh, you should

00:08:34.860 be, you know, you're beautiful no matter what size you are.

00:08:37.420 You're beautiful no matter, you know, how much you weigh.

00:08:40.200 You're beautiful no matter what you eat.

00:08:41.420 You can eat anything you want.

00:08:42.860 And you're gorgeous.

00:08:43.840 Go, girl. 0.85

00:08:44.240 And I thought it was okay.

00:08:46.400 Wow.

00:08:46.820 I thought it was okay because no one said anything.

00:08:49.180 And I could be sitting here if 300 pounds are enough.

00:08:51.220 I didn't make the decision to say, Penelope, you need to get your butt off the couch and 0.53

00:08:54.820 work out.

00:08:55.580 Fix your diet.

00:08:56.360 Fix your mental health. 0.61

00:08:57.360 Fix everything.

00:08:58.560 And now I'm perfectly fine.

00:09:00.420 No meds.

00:09:01.540 Just naturally.

00:09:02.760 All natural.

00:09:03.980 What do you, do you think that contributes to 70% of women being overweight in the U.S.?

00:09:08.740 Completely.

00:09:09.940 I completely think that.

00:09:11.880 Yeah, go ahead.

00:09:12.540 No, I just think that, I think that the fact that people are obese and that they make all

00:09:15.900 these excuses for, oh, I'm obese because of this, I'm obese because you can lose weight

00:09:19.560 no matter what.

00:09:20.240 Anyone can lose weight.

00:09:21.380 It's just about finding the right way to do it.

00:09:23.800 And what do you think of the women that say we need like representation in magazines, we 1.00

00:09:29.220 need fat chicks on the cover, Victoria's Secret fashion show. 1.00

00:09:33.600 It repulses me.

00:09:34.640 So.

00:09:35.220 It repulses me to see that.

00:09:36.540 Because you've been there.

00:09:37.240 It does because I've been there and not only that, but you are showing thousands and millions

00:09:41.980 of women in the world that it is one, okay to be unhealthy, two, okay to be slowly killing 1.00

00:09:46.840 yourself and three, okay to go outside and dress provocatively with your rolls out.

00:09:54.460 I was a plus size model.

00:09:56.160 Really?

00:09:56.560 Like in the 90s.

00:09:57.300 You were a plus size model. 1.00

00:09:58.520 In the 90s, yeah.

JustPearlyThings - July 19, 2023

Why Female Therapists ABSOLUTELY SUCK!!!

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