JustPearlyThings - March 19, 2023


Why Modern Women Don't Last in HEALTHY Relationships


Episode Stats


Length

9 minutes

Words per minute

220.85767

Word count

2,194

Sentence count

1

Harmful content

Misogyny

11

sentences flagged

Hate speech

3

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about boundaries and what they mean in a relationship and how to set healthy boundaries in a healthy relationship. We also talk about the woman's mentality when it comes to boundaries and how they affect a relationship.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 do any of you guys go to the gym you guys go yeah so if you if you're practicing squats you get
00:00:07.480 better at squatting right so wouldn't you say the only way to get better at being in a healthy
00:00:11.820 relationship is to be in a healthy relationship how would you know i would think so but also i
00:00:15.980 think to be in a healthy relationship you need to know what your boundaries are and you need to like
00:00:19.900 respect them like going back to boundaries again like if you have set boundaries and you respect
00:00:23.740 your own boundaries and you have a level of self-respect for yourself then it sets the tone
00:00:28.300 for other people to come into your life and respect those boundaries what kind of boundaries are
00:00:32.500 helpful in a relationship i think a level of trust being able to give people space if they need it
00:00:38.320 okay trust you know not being like controlling or anything not being controlling okay yeah i mean
00:00:44.880 everyone's boundaries are kind of different it kind of depends on the person and i think it also depends
00:00:49.180 on that you gotta be independent as a woman and be okay with being on your own like you need to learn
00:00:54.120 to love yourself because codependency is a real issue if he leaves it's like okay it's cool he
00:00:59.140 can leave you know i mean i've got a lot of goals rely a lot of guys a lot of girls depend that's when 1.00
00:01:04.280 do you know anyone that's been married for 30 plus years yeah 20 plus years not 20 20 plus years do you
00:01:11.400 feel like that's the woman's mentality is i need a lot of boundaries and i need to not need him 0.95
00:01:15.860 i don't think it's about not needing the person but i think there's a fine line between like
00:01:21.960 having your own life and then like codependency like some some like girls they make their relationship 1.00
00:01:28.200 their whole life and then they break up with their partner and they're lost they don't have no friends
00:01:32.940 anymore because they drop out all their friends like they they don't know themselves they lose their
00:01:36.960 whole personality because they've made their whole life their relationship and you need to remember to
00:01:42.000 have a lot i'm a couple years older than you and usually those girls actually end up getting into 1.00
00:01:48.100 a relationship and starting a family young so it's just like instead of like you guys might have
00:01:53.100 different skills like you're good at singing you're good at that those girls just have relationship 1.00
00:01:56.440 skills so they just usually they just usually get into another relationship i mean they're heartbroken
00:02:01.980 for a bit but then they they find another guy because she proved she could be a good girlfriend to 0.94
00:02:06.300 that one so that she goes into another yeah some people are just relationship people i think
00:02:10.120 they're just made to like be in a relationship some people have the goals of like having a family
00:02:14.220 young or they're just naive in this day they just get taken advantage off yeah there's a very very
00:02:20.060 like fine line there's a very very fine line between that i think because yeah there's a lot of
00:02:24.960 girls that will just make a man their whole life because it gives them validation because they don't 1.00
00:02:29.600 love themselves yeah and when you don't love yourself like i know it's cliche but like how can you
00:02:34.280 expect someone to love you properly if you don't love and respect yourself how would you expect them to love
00:02:38.660 you yeah you need to set the tone for them you know if you show them that you don't respect yourself
00:02:43.580 and you don't love yourself then how are they going to do how are they going to love you and respect you
00:02:47.700 so how do you show them that i just i always hear these terms with girls and i just it's always so 1.00
00:02:53.020 broad don't give them too many chances i think you know i mean you know like if someone yeah don't
00:02:58.720 give them too many chances do you think the 30 year marriage 20 year marriage the the longest marriage
00:03:04.920 you know you think the woman's mentality was don't give him too many chances no no i'm just i'm
00:03:10.920 talking about successful outcomes so if we look at people with with good outcomes because we'd all
00:03:15.640 agree long marriage is better than no breaking up right yeah okay but i'm talking i'm talking about
00:03:21.960 like the dating like when you're dating before you get into it because like i said i haven't actually
00:03:25.800 been in a proper relationship so i can only go with experience from dating jumping and say i know these
00:03:30.040 girls i think some of you have been in relationships or no no but like i i haven't so
00:03:35.160 yeah but i feel like you have to make sure what was the question again do you think that do you think
00:03:41.800 that the mentality of cut a guy off quick it was good for a long-term relationship don't give him too
00:03:47.080 many chances no if he's cheating then yeah you've got because he will most likely do it again why do we
00:03:52.360 why do we always go to like the worst case scenario i think i think um because of females in the beginning 1.00
00:03:58.840 i think if someone like if you express that you don't like how someone's treating you and then
00:04:03.720 they continue to treat you like that and then you still take them back that's unhealthy that's not
00:04:08.840 you not respecting your boundaries because you don't like the way you're being treated but you're
00:04:11.880 going to stay there because you like him or you think that he likes you because he does nasty things
00:04:17.560 to you and then he might buy you some flowers afterwards and be like oh i'm so sorry but then he does it
00:04:20.760 again like that's unhealthy do you know what i mean like space of experience that's not good but like
00:04:27.720 if you're in a long-term marriage or you're in a relationship and you have a few issues that you
00:04:31.640 don't you don't like agree on certain things those things can easily be resolved with good communication
00:04:38.200 yeah i mean i agree with you that you should cut people off that aren't married if you if you want
00:04:42.360 to be married that aren't marriage minded and quick but i think sometimes like as women we always
00:04:47.480 jump to like the worst case scenario it's either cheating or be i don't i only know this i've done
00:04:51.320 this show so many times yeah we have fantasy it's always cheating i'm starting to get better before
00:04:57.560 i used to always think of the worst case scenario but now i'm like i'm calming down a little bit
00:05:02.360 didn't you just say cheating no but no i'm taking notes as an example as an example as an example i think
00:05:07.640 sometimes you just gotta go with the flow like yeah literally you do you can't think too much into it
00:05:12.680 obviously if you're not being treated right then obviously he's gotta go but yeah
00:05:16.520 100 it's as simple as that okay um can a person change and no longer be considered a toxic ex
00:05:23.960 yeah 100 i think they can change when they look in words okay what do you think um no what you don't
00:05:32.520 think people can change no depending on how long you're trying to get them to change
00:05:40.040 depending on how long you have no but you know what it is a man or a woman anyone will only change when
00:05:45.080 they're ready to change yeah you can't ever force them force them to change because they're never
00:05:48.920 they're never going to change for you like if you stay with a man hoping that he will change he's
00:05:52.200 not going to change for you it's got to be genuine as well it's got to be a genuine change
00:05:57.640 yeah like it's got a last yeah and don't forget like sometimes you know guys i'm sure go through
00:06:02.760 stuff as well like certain triggers might trigger them to like certain toxic toxic attributes to like
00:06:09.400 you know come back that aren't healthy so that needs to be taken into account as well when
00:06:14.280 he makes that change that has he completely like uh looked within himself that we keep saying and
00:06:19.240 like what about her so what about what it's just interesting whenever i say toxic ex we always say
00:06:23.960 men what about her i think it's because we're all kind of like oh we've all been in relationships with
00:06:29.400 men yeah yeah but like a toxic girl you know because you said you knew a lot of toxic girls or you've 1.00
00:06:35.880 seen that situation toxic relationships and i've seen like toxic relationships where the women is 1.00
00:06:40.440 like the aggressor or like the the toxic person and did she change um i don't know her well enough to
00:06:46.280 know that so i can't really speak on it but um yeah people some people change but you know what it is
00:06:51.800 again like self-reflection it is really hard to do when you have to look inwards and look at yourself
00:06:56.200 on your own flaws a lot of people would rather ignore that because ignorance is bliss someone in the
00:07:01.720 chat said people only change when the reality of their life convinces them to make a change
00:07:07.000 yeah that's true yeah big big situations happen or something that would just it's so yeah yeah
00:07:14.360 people have to hit rock bottom for them to realize okay i need to change this i need to like that's
00:07:19.080 true yeah one time i was dating a guy that my dad didn't like and um i said i said dad do people
00:07:27.880 change it was a couple years ago and he looks at me and he says yes they get worse over time so
00:07:38.440 it's going to be worse in 10 years so we should choose carefully because it's not going to get
00:07:42.600 better no it's true though because it would just get under your skin more word as the time goes on if
00:07:49.320 you don't like something you're not vocal about it from the beginning like it's going to how do you
00:07:52.520 expect it's going to dwell on your mind you're going to be like yeah i feel like that's how you get
00:07:56.760 the ick i feel like you can't fix a person a person can only fix themselves and for them to fix
00:08:01.160 themselves they have to make countless mistakes in order for them to realize yo whoa what am i doing
00:08:05.640 that's it 100 i agree with that yeah that includes sorry sorry that includes going back to the triggers
00:08:11.480 you were talking about because without those triggers how would you know that you're ready for
00:08:15.880 change or you're ready to change you know okay i think a lot of people can like um base their like
00:08:22.920 toxicity off like a bad upbringing and stuff but you know what you get to a certain age where you
00:08:27.640 need to be held accountable for like your behaviors and stuff not necessarily you can't blame it you
00:08:32.440 can't blame it on your your childhood and stuff because at the end of the day like you can see
00:08:36.360 someone who's got like grown up with like alcoholic parents i actually saw a post and it was like
00:08:42.120 twins and they grew up in a household with like two alcoholic parents and one of them became a
00:08:48.040 complete alcoholic just like his parents and the other one fixed his whole life had a successful
00:08:51.640 business and stuff you know like if you've been given cards but it's just like it depends what you
00:08:56.600 want to do like you can either learn from that and be like okay i don't want to be like that i'm gonna
00:09:00.040 make a change so i'm not that kind of person or you can just be like oh i'm like that because my
00:09:04.360 parents were like that i'm like this because i grew up in a bad environment and this explains everything
00:09:08.760 as well don't you think that's because of mindset so why did you say no the reason i said not
00:09:14.200 necessarily was because like she just said the first twin decided to be more of an alcoholic and
00:09:20.120 the second twin decided to make a change of his life and they are two different people let's do one 0.89
00:09:25.640 person it's doing the same household but as you just said mindset what depends on who you're around
00:09:31.160 with yes it is a decision but at the same time you can't do it by yourself you need people to help you
00:09:37.640 a hundred percent don't you as many of you know i was just banned on tick tock and we are demonetized
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