JustPearlyThings - Why MODERN WOMEN will DIE ALONE

00:00:00.400 like what who are you i don't know i just i think maybe because my mindset is always spiritual first

00:00:05.680 like i come from a very spiritual perspective of things so i just feel like so if i was to say i'm

00:00:12.560 damaged okay i can say i'm damaged but then i'm that's not going to be my story because i don't

00:00:17.680 want that to it will be your story it will be a part of your story i don't want it to be the thing

00:00:24.160 that i'm like oh i'm damaged so therefore i can't do you know what i mean i don't think you can't

00:00:29.440 it's just like like this is part of your cv so when you give someone your cv and it's like a toxic

00:00:35.360 relationship i was so toxic i had to cut all my friends off for six months they're like okay red 0.98

00:00:39.440 flag okay maybe like this is this girl's maybe a 10 now she's an eight now she's a seven now she's a

00:00:46.000 six whatever it is and so it's like that's what i'm saying once you go through you put yourself on sale

00:00:51.520 but then that's at least honest go ahead then i was thinking like when you broke up you consider

00:00:57.360 the breakup as a failure like a personal failure it is and yeah but at the same time i truly believe

00:01:04.880 that i learn with failure you can learn a lesson so i can improve myself with a breakup yes i will be

00:01:13.120 damaged i will go to the next relationship with a wool baggage and they're still going to be damaged 0.59

00:01:17.920 but at the same time if i take the lesson i can learn from that yeah so you can improve yourself in

00:01:24.080 a way that's valuable to women but not to men there's nothing after a toxic relationship is

00:01:29.840 going to make you better because you've had sex with more people you've been in more talk you probably

00:01:35.120 have more toxic habits from it and you're older so the things that men value you're out you're

00:01:40.480 offering nothing maybe to you it might be better but that's like a woman's point of view because we

00:01:45.280 prefer men with experience and lived experience because then they know how to deal better with women 1.00

00:01:49.520 because we're all crazy so so you it's like and that's common you're not like the only one that's

00:01:56.320 come on the show and you know said that but it's it's like it's a very much a woman's point of view

00:02:01.280 is and where men is just like oh that's baggage yeah yeah it's quite clear as well that like you

00:02:07.440 if you talk about if you if you mention something like you know the healing thing and it's a toxic guy

00:02:11.440 to me all that says is that guy had an impact on you in it like no matter how she's trying to act like

00:02:16.080 yeah you know i've healed him different now i'm thinking yeah yo yeah where are my 50 years

00:02:20.640 my death but she's gonna be like yeah but i just want to talk to him one more time

00:02:26.880 that's what that means that's that's what that means still i think this idea of you can definitely

00:02:32.320 heal um and retain you know a lot of your value but i think you have to have the right mindset and

00:02:37.440 today people are so self-obsessed no no no i agree that they they take it into the more the ego

00:02:42.720 driven bit so every time they heal they're like i'm better i'm better now i'm better i deserve

00:02:45.920 more and it's like no you're not in fact you know you deserve less or it could just be instead of

00:02:51.200 saying i'm better maybe it should be i'm gonna do better not not i'm better because you're right

00:02:57.040 in what you're saying once you're damaged you are damaged that's not gonna go anywhere it's also

00:03:02.560 you can paint it in whatever color you want you can make it pretty and all the rest of it once you've

00:03:07.200 had a bad experience that is going to be there and it will go with you but then what comes in is who

00:03:13.840 you meet how that person decides to deal with you yeah do you see what i mean you can meet someone

00:03:19.040 that might be a bit sensitive towards you you might meet someone that isn't sensitive

00:03:25.920 that makes a difference can i just add to you said something about how on the spiritual side like

00:03:32.240 you're allowed to kind of repent i don't know no i don't know is that what you meant

00:03:37.680 no because repenting is basically saying okay i'm now absolved from all my sins okay cool but i i

00:03:43.760 understand the whole religious aspect but mine's more like spiritual and you said you can kind of

00:03:48.480 cleanse like yeah you can cleanse so and so my point would be for the cleansing bit like you still have

00:03:55.280 mileage on the clock yeah do you know what i mean yeah so whether you've cleansed or not these things have

00:03:59.760 happened but does the mileage sit in you though yeah yeah yeah the mileage stays yeah yeah yeah

00:04:04.560 if your if your situation put you to a mileage of 60 000 whether you cleanse or not you're still at

00:04:11.440 60 000 maybe you're not trying to get any more but like you you still at 60 000 you don't go back

00:04:16.400 you can't reset the meter on your car i don't know i think i just have this thing about the mind like

00:04:21.680 if you could if you program the minds to but i get what you're saying at the same time that's a woman's

00:04:26.560 point of view no because because women women like a guy that's had a past and like been through 1.00

00:04:32.160 some and now he's come out better because men have to create their value where women are born with

00:04:37.760 value so yeah so you're you're born you're given the golden ticket at 18 even even now you like you

00:04:44.960 guys are early 30s mid 20s like life is hard for men they they grow up being ignored most of their life

00:04:51.440 and so whereas women we're given attention like what when's the first time yeah when's the first 0.71

00:04:55.920 time you had a guy hit on you 13 14 15 something yeah yeah yeah and and so we don't even realize

00:05:02.320 how hard the world is for men and how easy it is for us where we can like spout nonsense and nobody says

00:05:07.440 anything and we can like use all these words and i it like i had to listen a lot to men before i

00:05:13.120 understood what they were talking about but i'm like yeah we talk a lot of nothing

00:05:17.200 do you know it is i just feel like the disconnect is like i feel like some of you are establishing

00:05:24.080 what makes you a better person whereas she's talking about what makes you a better partner

00:05:28.720 you know i mean so it's like a better person doesn't necessarily make you a better partner okay now so

00:05:33.600 that makes so much sense actually i think it's both actually because i think a lot of the time

00:05:40.000 yeah i already made this point right about what what people tend to be think think of as making

00:05:45.920 themselves a better person it's just more a more ego driven yeah yeah exactly i think the sign that

00:05:50.720 someone's healed and someone's overcome something is that it becomes insignificant to them you know

00:05:54.880 yeah someone came out say i'm a piece i'm a piece i'm a piece i know you're definitely not a piece

00:05:58.240 that you would mention it you would just be it exactly if that trauma if that trauma was if you

00:06:04.400 were over that trauma that wouldn't be a key narrative in your life you know it's just something

00:06:08.480 that doesn't sometimes need to be mentioned yeah like i looked up um what are feminine traits 1.00

00:06:14.640 nurturing soft caring playful empathetic compassionate vulnerable vulnerable so when we're talking about

00:06:19.760 healing like all the things you guys listed none of them got you to that like tastes like getting

00:06:24.960 rid of people for six months doesn't make you more nurturing soft caring playful empathetic going on

00:06:29.360 a trip doesn't make you more nurturing soft caring playful empathetic compassionate and vulnerable

00:06:34.480 yeah do the opposite yeah it does the opposite but that was in relation to no relationship but that's

00:06:40.000 exactly my point that's what i get it like let's say you feel more confident yeah but it's to a point

00:06:45.360 where like you're not shutting like you're more masculine yeah that's made you a more confident and

00:06:50.880 better person than yourself but as a partner he might not be looking for that woman who's too loud

00:06:55.680 or like too in his face it's again because we become the men we want to marry because we like

00:07:00.560 confident men they don't they're guys aren't into confident women they're into shy women that are

00:07:04.800 like reserved sweet that's the kind yeah typically in any kingdom what did you say no two kings in any

00:07:12.320 kingdom yeah there's one king it's fixed though yeah i know cutting off people doesn't mean you're

00:07:17.520 better i think it says the latter because when i go through spiritual experiences etc i become way

00:07:22.400 more tolerant because now it's less about me and it's more about like i see why you did that i see

00:07:27.520 i understand this so i can handle this better so we don't have to argue we have to fight i get it

00:07:32.400 um so if you come out of a so-called spiritual experience and you're actually less tolerant of

00:07:37.280 everyone around you that gives that's again lends more credence to the idea but it's more of a

00:07:40.960 narcissistic ritual it's more like but that wasn't what i was talking about the spiritual the cutting

00:07:45.680 of thing had nothing to do with spirituality at all it was more about cleanse like dealing with

00:07:51.520 the noise that was in my head it had nothing to do with like spiritual stuff that was for me but the

00:07:57.680 whole the whole spiritual thing i think can often serve as a really good way to not be accountable

00:08:02.640 because spiritualism is relative like you could make a lot of cases and say you know listen to jada

00:08:07.680 pink and smith right she can validate hanging with august all day okay she might not be a good example 0.96

00:08:15.760 but they're common and so this is this is common whenever i hear two girls talk about like spiritual 0.55

00:08:21.040 experiences i'm like just say you're at 304. no like just and i'm not i don't know you so i i'm not

00:08:28.560 saying you are i'm just saying this is i've talked to so many people in the last six months that these are

00:08:33.360 like patterns yeah i don't know like people that i know that are spiritual i don't know tons but they

00:08:40.080 all seem to have some sort of level head and i know what you mean by you're saying that people could just

00:08:45.280 say oh well i'm spiritual and they can push that onto that but there are there are people who are

00:08:52.160 sorry there are people who are not like that there are people i get what you're saying about being

00:08:57.280 tolerable and more tolerant but sometimes that comes with stepping away from the noise realizing

00:09:03.280 okay what can i do what am i sure of what can i give what can i take back what can i keep from us

00:09:08.800 what can i give it's not just about ego but i get what you're saying as well it's a give and take

00:09:14.960 it's a balance of both if that makes any sense you look very confused i understood what you said okay

00:09:22.080 yeah i understand that but to me it just sounded like a need to be right it kind of it kind of just

00:09:35.440 sounded like um you know trying to get out the fact that spiritual practice breeds tolerance and love

00:09:44.000 more so than anything else and it minimizes self and so if that understanding if you say talk about that

00:09:50.400 story i hate to be personal to me most of the key points of that that your story of a spiritual

00:09:55.680 journey or healing one it didn't make you more loving it didn't make you you just talk about

00:10:01.840 yourself a lot you said you know me me you know that kind of thing it didn't make you more tolerant

00:10:07.200 that other experience was something else but i think spiritual connects to everything like we have

00:10:12.400 a pattern and you can see it in our life so your healing journey isn't disassociated from that action

00:10:17.200 whether it was before or after you're saying everything is interconnected it's interconnected

00:10:21.280 and so you know yes you need you need time alone but um cutting people off again it even sounds like

00:10:29.760 a bit of a power to focus on the right things basically yeah it even sounds like a power play

00:10:33.440 like you never hear someone a piece saying i cut people off what do you think i meant by cutting people

00:10:37.440 off for me it was just them not having access or availability to me every single day throughout the day

00:10:42.720 so but when you when you hear that that doesn't sound feminine nurturing or soft but i am feminine

00:10:47.920 nurturing i don't think but you don't i'm saying you don't come across that way because of the words

00:10:52.000 that you say but that's because i'm able to articulate i'm i'm intelligent so and i don't think it's a

00:10:58.400 bad thing for me to say i'm intelligent but if i'm in a man's presence or if i'm with someone who

00:11:02.880 i'm romantically connected with my air my aura and how i i am is very different so if we asked your

00:11:09.680 exes would they agree yeah okay and they what my ex watches this show so hopefully he's watching any

00:11:15.200 comments whoa he told you to yeah he was the one who was like yeah oh yeah he said your aura would

00:11:22.960 change and etc but you know surely it's other people's like that's like okay it's kind of like

00:11:27.920 if a man said i'm super masculine but only when i'm around women but so so so like that's like if a guy

00:11:34.560 said like it sounds like crazy because like if a guy if a guy comes in he acts super like feminine 0.91

00:11:40.160 right and he's like hey like hey girls then he's like look at i am super masculine but only when i'm

00:11:46.080 around victoria's secret models i get what you're saying but i'm in a situation right now where i have

00:11:51.360 to think and i have to articulate myself so therefore maybe do you know what maybe that's my alpha side i

00:12:00.000 don't know maybe that is my alpha side i've run a business so i have that alpha streak but at the

00:12:04.960 same time i've been with men who are quite alpha and they're like they've pointed certain things out

00:12:09.280 to me so i've learned not only through what i've seen at home with my mom and my dad but i've also

00:12:15.600 learned through those men and through my own journey to be more feminine so i'll be about loving energy

00:12:22.720 it's about patience it's about it's about all these kind of compromise and everything you say seems to

00:12:27.600 be more around you know you you kind of you know realizing power in some way so you know you say

00:12:35.840 you're intelligent and you're you've had a business and you cut people off and no but you're now listing

00:12:41.520 your aura is like different in other people it's all a lot of affirmations and words you you tend to

00:12:47.040 you you know what to say but feminine feminine isn't like i guess yeah it's a way of being yeah like 1.00

00:12:54.000 it's loving it like you can tell you can tell when someone's feminine but no one can tell me they're 0.99

00:12:58.640 feminine that doesn't mean anything everyone who knows me who experiences me will tell you otherwise

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JustPearlyThings - December 24, 2022

Why MODERN WOMEN will DIE ALONE

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