JustPearlyThings - July 10, 2023


Why Most RELATIONSHIPS Never Last


Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

210.25575

Word count

2,195

Sentence count

232

Harmful content

Misogyny

6

sentences flagged

Hate speech

7

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss the rise of social media and how it has changed the dating game. Only fans and Pornhub are just two of the new services that have been introduced in the past few years, and how they are changing the dating scene.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 You have to pay just to see pictures.
00:00:02.560 And then I would wonder, I'm like, did I do something wrong?
00:00:05.680 You fumbled a bag.
00:00:07.380 I've had this conversation, though.
00:00:08.620 It's the same with, like, maybe escorts and stuff, isn't it?
00:00:11.300 So let's say, for instance, with OnlyFans, it makes it more personal.
00:00:13.700 So let's say you could have OnlyFans.
00:00:15.680 You don't, probably.
00:00:16.480 But if you do and someone really wanted,
00:00:18.280 they couldn't really bother to whine and Daniel or talk with you like that,
00:00:21.100 but they really were, like, sexually attracted to you.
00:00:24.280 They could just go through the OnlyFans, pay that little subscription.
00:00:27.900 See everything.
00:00:28.440 In their head, you're a body now.
00:00:31.180 Yeah?
00:00:32.120 You know what I mean?
00:00:32.800 You lot have done whatever.
00:00:33.680 And then they can go on with their life.
00:00:35.480 Do you know what I'm saying?
00:00:36.200 Same thing with, like, escorts or whatever.
00:00:38.680 Instead of doing a whole dating situation, they paid for an escort,
00:00:41.380 they've got that out of the system, and they've moved on.
00:00:43.540 So it's like, I think with OnlyFans,
00:00:45.680 the only difference between OnlyFans and Pornhub is that they have,
00:00:51.120 they might know the person.
00:00:52.720 They might know who the person is.
00:00:54.560 It's within reach.
00:00:55.660 That's why I think OnlyFans is growing, because it's more personal.
00:00:58.020 You ain't got to do nothing, though.
00:01:00.080 You know there's people, like, there's female escorts. 1.00
00:01:03.480 Yeah.
00:01:03.960 The guy with, like, all the guys that spoil them,
00:01:06.360 they won't do nothing.
00:01:07.400 Same thing with OnlyFans.
00:01:08.980 Like, you haven't got to sexually do anything.
00:01:10.820 There is a super chat.
00:01:11.940 Never go through a girl's phone. 1.00
00:01:13.220 If you believe that you need to go through her phone,
00:01:15.400 all you're doing is looking for anything to confirm
00:01:17.300 what you already believe is happening.
00:01:19.080 Mm-hmm.
00:01:19.420 Um, sorry, but...
00:01:22.200 That is true.
00:01:22.820 Only, that's a violation.
00:01:24.200 I would, I would...
00:01:24.680 OnlyFans is a repeat.
00:01:25.500 Like, okay, because I would genuinely look at myself and say,
00:01:28.840 what did I do to try and move, man?
00:01:32.560 To do, like, that he has to pay?
00:01:35.660 He can't just go online?
00:01:36.680 Paying someone else.
00:01:37.880 Because paying for porn in 2020, corn, sorry,
00:01:41.620 in 2023 is wild in and of itself.
00:01:44.360 But it's the same as a...
00:01:45.080 I agree.
00:01:46.180 I'm just saying it's the same as a date.
00:01:47.940 Remember this, remember this.
00:01:49.360 A lot of people,
00:01:50.460 it's the fault of having something that they can't have.
00:01:52.940 And it's an attraction where...
00:01:55.000 Everyone can have it for $5.99.
00:01:57.220 For $5.99.
00:01:58.440 But I mean, that's a sexual drive
00:02:01.020 because I can't, I'm not physically having you.
00:02:03.120 You're just someone that's on a computer screen.
00:02:05.480 It's the same thing like we're an affair.
00:02:06.820 A lot of people, an affair is sexy
00:02:09.160 and they love it and it's an attraction
00:02:10.860 until it becomes something that's, like, allowed.
00:02:13.780 You know, like, people leave their wives
00:02:15.820 for their mistress.
00:02:17.300 And they get with the mistress.
00:02:18.140 And they get with the mistress
00:02:18.920 and they're, like, all of a sudden,
00:02:20.060 it's, like, it's not as fun anymore.
00:02:21.840 It's not the same.
00:02:23.000 We all want something that we can't have.
00:02:24.880 It doesn't really happen often.
00:02:26.120 Leaving the wife for mistress. 0.92
00:02:27.420 And those people are still tough.
00:02:28.060 You might get left by the wife 0.99
00:02:29.200 and end up with the mistress,
00:02:30.320 but you don't leave the wife for the mistress.
00:02:32.520 You're a dummy in that situation.
00:02:33.840 Come on.
00:02:35.340 You're a dumbass.
00:02:38.680 Has social media ever caused an argument
00:02:41.200 in a relationship?
00:02:42.220 Yeah, oh my God, yeah.
00:02:44.260 What have women argued with you 1.00
00:02:46.160 or men about?
00:02:47.620 The liking game.
00:02:49.580 Back when that was a feature, man,
00:02:51.140 I used to get me in heated discussions
00:02:53.320 all the time.
00:02:54.820 But I would do it for, like, algorithm things.
00:02:58.180 So if I know I'm about to post,
00:02:59.420 I'll just like anything on my timeline
00:03:00.980 because I know they're going to look
00:03:02.180 and they're going to go and like my thing back.
00:03:04.200 That was the vibe.
00:03:05.900 I would like pictures of your gran,
00:03:07.620 your ankle, whatever, dogs.
00:03:09.420 Because anything on that timeline
00:03:10.880 at that time, I would just think.
00:03:12.660 And they'll be next to me when I do it.
00:03:13.900 It's not like I have to do it in secret.
00:03:15.720 But I understand it looks crazy.
00:03:17.580 Yeah.
00:03:18.160 It looks crazy.
00:03:18.900 Anything you pop up,
00:03:19.620 because as well,
00:03:20.120 it puts it onto their newsfeed as well.
00:03:21.980 Remember when you can see
00:03:22.760 what other people are like?
00:03:23.160 No, that's what I'm talking about.
00:03:24.020 That's when it was an issue.
00:03:25.040 That's when it was an issue.
00:03:26.100 Yeah.
00:03:26.600 So I used to get into situations about that.
00:03:29.560 But I think on the flip side,
00:03:30.800 if your girl only follows 90 people, 0.73
00:03:33.220 let's say, for instance,
00:03:33.900 and then she follows that one guy,
00:03:36.880 you might be, you see, now you won.
00:03:39.740 Who's that?
00:03:41.200 Who's that, now you won?
00:03:42.180 I haven't been there.
00:03:43.640 You know what I mean?
00:03:44.100 So I think it works both ways, though.
00:03:45.960 What have you gotten into arguments?
00:03:47.060 My situation was different
00:03:48.360 where a girl slid into my DMs on Facebook.
00:03:52.760 I went the extra mile on Facebook
00:03:55.060 to find out that she went to college with my girl.
00:03:57.980 And then how that went was Facebook.
00:04:00.480 You know when you're in a relationship,
00:04:01.620 it says you're in a relationship with this person.
00:04:03.040 I wasn't that smart when I was below 25, like I said.
00:04:08.500 So what happened was she was like,
00:04:11.460 oh, when we started having a conversation,
00:04:13.660 she was like, oh, but you're in a relationship
00:04:15.080 with this person.
00:04:15.760 Hold on a minute.
00:04:16.720 I think I went to the same college.
00:04:18.080 Oh, I did go to the same college.
00:04:19.940 See, screenshotted my whole conversation with the girl
00:04:23.060 and send it to my then girlfriend, man.
00:04:26.220 And that obviously caused...
00:04:27.200 Oh, that argument is because you were cheating?
00:04:29.180 I was below 25.
00:04:33.840 I was below 25.
00:04:35.820 I was below 25.
00:04:37.400 I was about to take seriously.
00:04:38.540 That's a fair enough argument.
00:04:41.320 What did you get into an argument about?
00:04:43.360 It's essentially, like you said,
00:04:45.120 it's one of those like,
00:04:46.460 back when you can see who you liked
00:04:49.060 and what you liked.
00:04:50.620 Back when that was a thing,
00:04:52.120 it's like, it was you with...
00:04:53.860 Back then, again, we were young.
00:04:56.180 We were dumb.
00:04:56.900 We didn't know where the social media was.
00:04:58.420 We grew up with social media
00:04:59.960 essentially at the same time.
00:05:01.640 So you would see your partner
00:05:03.220 liking all these things
00:05:04.740 and then that would be an argument
00:05:05.800 because for those who don't know,
00:05:08.300 who are too young to know,
00:05:09.300 Instagram is to show people who you liked.
00:05:12.200 Like the pictures you liked
00:05:13.680 on like his own separate feed.
00:05:15.700 So that feed will get you...
00:05:16.680 All the girls know this.
00:05:17.300 Yeah, that feed will get you in trouble.
00:05:18.720 Did you know that...
00:05:20.680 I'm not sure if it's the same now,
00:05:22.060 but before on Instagram,
00:05:23.680 if you were following under 200 people,
00:05:26.220 it wouldn't show what order
00:05:28.020 you followed people in.
00:05:29.380 Did you know that?
00:05:30.820 So like, let's say your man
00:05:32.040 goes out on a night out
00:05:33.000 and he starts following someone new.
00:05:35.020 Then you know.
00:05:36.380 You might click on their page
00:05:37.340 and you'll be like,
00:05:38.180 all right, cool.
00:05:38.560 She was at the same party.
00:05:39.400 He obviously had an interaction.
00:05:41.060 However, if he was following...
00:05:43.760 If they're following under 200...
00:05:46.700 I don't know if it's still the same feature
00:05:48.260 and I don't know, updates and stuff.
00:05:50.060 But yeah, man,
00:05:50.800 those kind of things
00:05:51.780 get into arguments over that.
00:05:53.680 Well, wait, let me ask you something, right?
00:05:55.100 Because what you just said,
00:05:56.740 bro, I weren't cheating.
00:05:57.700 It was a conversation through Facebook.
00:05:59.180 Bro, I don't want to hear anything.
00:05:59.840 I don't want to hear anything.
00:05:59.860 No.
00:06:01.260 I'm not trying to air it, my boy.
00:06:03.560 I don't understand.
00:06:04.180 I'm trying to air it.
00:06:05.300 I'm trying to air it.
00:06:06.040 I don't want to get out of it.
00:06:07.520 Wait, it's a toxic...
00:06:08.800 I think cheating is like a physical situation.
00:06:11.760 It's not physical.
00:06:12.580 No, I don't agree.
00:06:14.080 No, it can be emotional.
00:06:14.940 You can emotionally cheat.
00:06:16.820 All right, let me ask you this.
00:06:17.720 Let me ask you this.
00:06:18.240 Because I don't know.
00:06:18.860 I like to hear that coming from women. 1.00
00:06:19.980 Can I ask you something?
00:06:20.840 Devil's advocate.
00:06:21.840 Is it really the end of the world
00:06:23.140 if he's messaging another girl?
00:06:24.520 Thank you.
00:06:25.720 I agree.
00:06:27.280 It's not the end of the world,
00:06:28.320 but it's not the start of the Ivo.
00:06:31.620 I just think like...
00:06:32.960 I just think like
00:06:34.860 if we have open social media profiles,
00:06:37.720 can we really like get off our high horse sometime?
00:06:40.000 Because I think that attention is
00:06:41.680 to women as sex is to men. 0.52
00:06:45.260 Do you guys agree with that?
00:06:46.100 Yeah.
00:06:46.940 Okay, so I'm like,
00:06:47.800 if we, most of us have open Instagram
00:06:49.800 and relationships,
00:06:50.960 meaning we can get attention
00:06:52.240 from high status men.
00:06:53.840 And that's always on the table.
00:06:55.240 But if he sends a message,
00:06:56.460 like it's the end of the world.
00:06:58.280 No.
00:06:59.300 But if he does what he was doing.
00:07:02.500 She messaged me first.
00:07:03.700 I was just responding.
00:07:04.580 It's rude not to respond.
00:07:05.540 What kind of message are we talking about?
00:07:06.700 If it's like,
00:07:07.120 if it's like,
00:07:07.960 you know,
00:07:08.640 emojis and stuff like that,
00:07:10.040 then it's a bit mad.
00:07:11.020 And I mean,
00:07:11.300 if it's general conversation,
00:07:12.660 then, you know,
00:07:13.900 you might be able to bus case.
00:07:15.580 It's crazy.
00:07:16.240 I think I just look at things
00:07:17.540 like differently.
00:07:18.680 I just.
00:07:19.100 No, I'm with you.
00:07:19.780 I'm with you.
00:07:20.560 You pick like battles and wars,
00:07:22.520 I guess.
00:07:22.800 Yeah, you gotta pick battles.
00:07:23.560 Because if you're the type of person
00:07:25.480 to like date for like a long-term
00:07:27.400 relationship or marriage,
00:07:29.000 right?
00:07:29.360 Yeah.
00:07:29.520 Then it's like,
00:07:32.000 like in the grand scheme of things,
00:07:33.640 is a message going to make
00:07:35.320 or break your life?
00:07:36.420 Exactly.
00:07:37.080 It's the intention about,
00:07:38.780 I think most of it becomes
00:07:40.040 that gray area of the unknown.
00:07:41.440 So it's the attention
00:07:42.140 behind the message.
00:07:43.420 All right.
00:07:43.640 Let me ask you a question
00:07:44.380 because I don't feel like
00:07:45.080 you're on my side.
00:07:45.960 I'm not.
00:07:46.880 Okay.
00:07:47.840 All right.
00:07:48.440 Cool.
00:07:48.760 You're with your girl.
00:07:50.560 You've been very little while.
00:07:51.440 You're on a break, yeah?
00:07:52.760 Break.
00:07:53.060 You mean she's single?
00:07:54.840 Okay.
00:07:56.400 Okay.
00:07:56.880 She's single.
00:07:57.360 She's single.
00:07:57.780 Okay.
00:07:58.060 So you might agree with me on this.
00:07:59.300 Yeah.
00:07:59.680 You've been with each other
00:08:00.300 for a while.
00:08:00.880 Now, I was in a situation,
00:08:02.320 okay, you have a girl.
00:08:04.320 She's not your girl, 0.95
00:08:05.280 but you know like you have not,
00:08:06.800 it sounds bad,
00:08:07.500 like a backup,
00:08:08.220 not a backup.
00:08:08.880 You have people on your phone
00:08:09.900 that you know like you.
00:08:11.500 Now, I was in a situation
00:08:13.160 where I was always with someone
00:08:15.020 from like 16.
00:08:15.880 So when I wasn't with someone,
00:08:17.120 I used to just grab a girl 1.00
00:08:18.800 that I knew liked me
00:08:19.900 because I wanted to feel
00:08:21.280 like it was a fulfilled thing, right?
00:08:23.340 So if I'm not with you
00:08:25.480 and we've broken up for like a week
00:08:26.780 and we have a sexual situation,
00:08:28.920 I didn't cheat on you
00:08:30.500 because we were on a break.
00:08:32.360 Mind them fingers, bro.
00:08:36.140 I hear you.
00:08:37.780 What I was saying here is
00:08:41.020 the moment you are on a break,
00:08:44.140 you've fed her to the wolves, bro.
00:08:46.080 You can't,
00:08:46.640 and vice versa, bro.
00:08:47.820 You're single.
00:08:48.360 You're two single people.
00:08:49.240 It's no longer,
00:08:50.660 I know it may feel like,
00:08:52.020 you know,
00:08:52.420 okay, cool,
00:08:53.300 we were in a relationship,
00:08:54.340 but boy,
00:08:55.780 you're not under that covenant.
00:08:57.080 You're not under that contract,
00:08:58.340 that obligation,
00:08:59.180 that verbal commitment anymore.
00:09:00.880 So whatever you do,
00:09:02.200 it might be frowned upon.
00:09:03.320 It might be whatever,
00:09:04.200 but some people just move on
00:09:05.060 quicker than others.
00:09:05.820 That's all.
00:09:06.000 I feel like you're like 20% 0.89
00:09:07.300 on my side now.
00:09:08.460 There we go.
00:09:09.340 There we go.
00:09:10.080 Would you guys work through a message?
00:09:11.940 Which?
00:09:13.940 Yeah,
00:09:14.700 she would.
00:09:17.960 I think,
00:09:18.640 no,
00:09:18.860 I think the intentions matter.
00:09:20.780 And I think that
00:09:21.440 if he's messaging somebody else,
00:09:22.740 he's already checked out.
00:09:24.140 And I'm,
00:09:24.980 I think I'm very strict
00:09:25.920 when it comes to that.
00:09:26.640 Like,
00:09:26.760 I think that if you're going to be
00:09:27.580 in a relationship with me,
00:09:28.780 I think that you have to put
00:09:29.960 some boundaries in place.
00:09:31.200 I think that you have to be long.
00:09:32.500 What if you're on holiday
00:09:33.300 and then you come back
00:09:34.400 and you find that
00:09:35.220 he messaged another girl
00:09:36.560 because you were away?
00:09:38.520 I'm leaving him.
00:09:39.260 I'd be fuming.
00:09:40.120 Yeah,
00:09:40.340 no,
00:09:40.760 no,
00:09:41.200 I'm leaving him.
00:09:41.660 I think I,
00:09:42.100 I don't tolerate
00:09:43.460 anything that.
00:09:45.200 Because to me,
00:09:45.880 it seems a bit much
00:09:46.800 to break up over a message.
00:09:48.060 It depends what the message is though.
00:09:49.200 Yeah,
00:09:49.340 it depends what the message is.
00:09:50.580 If it's flirty,
00:09:50.600 then the intention's quite clear.
00:09:52.500 How old are you guys again?
00:09:53.960 You're,
00:09:54.220 what?
00:09:55.100 I'm 29.
00:09:55.940 29.
00:09:58.120 How old are you two?
00:09:58.800 He's 22 though.
00:09:59.760 I'm 29.
00:10:00.180 29,
00:10:00.640 22.
00:10:00.920 Is it a difference?
00:10:02.020 I'm 24.
00:10:02.940 Okay,
00:10:03.260 she hasn't got time to waste.
00:10:04.400 Yeah,
00:10:04.620 yeah,
00:10:05.120 it's true.
00:10:06.380 You're in a different lane.
00:10:07.940 You're in a different lane.
00:10:10.020 As many of you know,
00:10:11.180 I was just banned on TikTok
00:10:13.300 and we are demonetized
00:10:15.020 on a daily basis
00:10:16.260 on this platform.
00:10:18.100 If you want to help,
00:10:19.560 please consider sending
00:10:20.680 a super thanks below.
00:10:22.640 Every donation helps
00:10:23.920 and it helps make
00:10:24.760 what we do possible.