JustPearlyThings - Why Most Women Don't Share Experience On Rape

00:00:00.000 can i ask a question i know we did the question do we know anyone that's been accused of

00:00:03.920 do we can we do the same thing do we know or know someone that was graped yeah go ahead

00:00:10.640 yeah i just wanted to know in the room yeah yeah i have a question did you did you automatically

00:00:18.080 believe them yeah yes yeah i did but i i think that's part of the did they go to court yeah

00:00:26.960 they were too young to go to court you know i think well great can happen at any time in your

00:00:31.920 life right so i think i actually do think that's like how i i agree with you like i think when

00:00:37.280 they're younger they usually don't yeah and i think sometimes you're actually so young or it

00:00:42.960 kind of turns into a different type of um category of great but i think you're too young to even

00:00:48.960 understand what is actually even happening you know make that decision and agree but then i do

00:00:54.560 sometimes i think when you hear things as you grow up and you people don't come out of things

00:01:00.000 for 30 years and sometimes people have even passed and whatever by the time you know about something

00:01:05.520 it's like with the people around them when you said why was it not spoken about because i mean

00:01:12.000 i can't sit here i've never gone through something like that but there was a time when i think i was

00:01:16.720 about 11 years old um my mum used to like she loves taking us to pantomimes it's really cool

00:01:21.440 so used to go to pantomimes like every christmas and one year we went to pantomime we went to nando's

00:01:25.760 after it was like me my sister her partner's brother and stuff and my brother and then i just took

00:01:31.680 like me my brother-in-law and my brother down like to the toilet i made sure they like i didn't go in

00:01:36.400 the toilet but i made sure they locked themselves together in the toilet and then i went to the toilet

00:01:39.840 and the guy that was in the toilet when i watched them go in followed me out followed me into the

00:01:45.520 women's toilets and as god is my witness i'm a god-fearing woman there was 12 girls in there 0.98

00:01:52.000 getting ready to go on a night out doing their makeup and i said thank the lord i froze i didn't

00:01:57.040 know what i was gonna do but i knew i'd do something in the end but like in that moment i do understand

00:02:03.680 sometimes why women don't come out of it straight away because i could never imagine what would have 1.00

00:02:08.000 happened if them 12 girls went in the toilet but again at that age the first thing i did was go to my

00:02:13.520 mom yeah that was gonna be my question because if they're younger like why didn't they go to their

00:02:17.280 parents yeah because i went straight to my mom my mom was ready you know i'm gonna say that on this

00:02:22.080 but like you know my mom was ready to rock someone bro do you know what i mean like she was like what's

00:02:26.320 going like she even went to the girls and asked did you see that and they said we saw because they

00:02:30.400 asked me are you okay and i said i'm fine and then i just didn't even bother go toilet i just grabbed

00:02:34.400 my brother and stuff and ran upstairs to my mom and so i think the question is about consent like what

00:02:39.520 like as a mom and i've got two daughters like how do i teach them about the consent like what where

00:02:44.720 the line is you know because when i grew up there wasn't like this wasn't a thing really it wasn't

00:02:49.680 talked about the consent thing wasn't talked about so like how far do you go with a guy when it's you're

00:02:54.880 like and then you can't go and you're like there's no way of stopping and then you regret it but is

00:03:00.400 that that or like i think if you regret isn't you can't say it's not consent just because you regret it

00:03:07.520 no no that's no exactly but and i'm that's like i think a lot of times the girls confuse like a guy 1.00

00:03:12.560 will be pushy but they'll they'll confuse that with great but like i don't think so that's where

00:03:18.080 is the consent like how do we teach children to like no no yeah no no stop it's i think it's really

00:03:25.760 clear yeah i think we're now trying to make it really confusing yeah and we're over complicating the

00:03:31.520 issue no stop no i don't feel like it done that should be it that's just i think that takes for

00:03:37.680 a woman if you're like rolling around with a guy in bed like coming up with that no why are you in

00:03:44.480 that situation like that's what i'm saying about what situation like what how far do you have to go

00:03:49.440 well i just like why are you bringing a guy to your apartment late at night if you don't want to sleep

00:03:54.560 with him okay i just like that's not you know the choice to go you have a choice to do it but is that

00:03:59.600 smart no i'm not saying that it is smart but it yeah and then you get to that position and it's

00:04:06.480 harder to say no at that position so but as a parent i think from what i've taken from my parents i think

00:04:12.560 what always gave me confidence in my decision was having that wisdom from them and i think in nowadays

00:04:16.960 i think because of the way the world is parents are so afraid of letting their children know and then

00:04:21.920 what happens is the world then makes your kids in terms of it's the world that's now teaching them

00:04:26.480 so one thing i think i would say is with your daughters is give them that wisdom i think when

00:04:31.120 i used to go on guide trips to like you know campsites and stuff mum would be like stay with the group

00:04:36.080 if someone touches you it is wrong tell someone so when you've got someone enforcing that my mum was

00:04:41.600 afraid to open me and my siblings up to things that we can encounter and i think it's you judging what

00:04:47.760 age you feel comfortable doing that with i'm trying to judge before that happens so that they have that

00:04:53.360 confidence and they go back to that time when mommy told me this or daddy told me that now it's like

00:04:57.680 just reinforcing it it's not like it comes in at like 14 you have the conversation it's like empowering

00:05:02.080 them from the get from the get-go i agree that they have that choice about any decision i always i always

00:05:06.960 wonder about this because i i had a little different background i went to catholic school so we had no sex ed

00:05:11.840 none of that you know yeah and i never even really had like a sex talk really with my parents but i

00:05:17.760 just i don't know i just knew you could tell people no i don't know was that confusing to people but

00:05:23.280 would you say religion gives you a form of discipline to understand what's right from wrong yeah no i i

00:05:28.320 agree i do think because i was i was pretty religious when i was younger so i i i do think that deterred

00:05:33.840 some of that stuff but i think that encouraged you and you've got that confidence in i think having

00:05:38.560 something to believe in or that you know definitely gives you that confidence to in other situations

00:05:43.440 move them skills over and make them transferable would you ever tell your daughters to wait till

00:05:49.200 they were married no no no you don't think that would result in like better outcomes for them

00:05:56.000 because you know because a lot of these situations are just from you know dating right but if you're

00:06:00.880 married then but if you've empowered them and they're strong individuals who can make their own

00:06:05.520 decisions they don't have to wait till marriage i think it's a bit of a i mean you don't want to

00:06:09.280 get married and then find out that there's no sexual combat compatibility for them but how would 0.99

00:06:13.760 you know if you never had sex with anyone else how would you know you know like yeah i think i

00:06:23.040 wouldn't tell my kids to do something i've not done yeah i mean because i i don't know that experience

00:06:27.760 so i can't advise them on something that i don't know the outcome of that would make me feel uneasy

00:06:32.800 i can only advise them on what i know or what someone else has told me to say do you think

00:06:37.760 it's better for girls to sleep with multiple men or less men less men so then so then why wouldn't 1.00

00:06:43.200 you encourage them to wait that's not celibacy though sleeping with less men like being sensible

00:06:47.680 about your sexual partners and being completely celibate until marriage are two different things

00:06:51.360 it's the best outcomes for women it doesn't work though it's proven time and time again that 1.00

00:06:55.520 celibacy doesn't work no that's that's not right if um if you're a virgin on your wedding night you

00:07:00.640 have an 80 chance of a happy marriage it drops down to 20 if you have more than five partners

00:07:05.040 now some people don't like that study so there's ones that are it's like a 10 to 15 difference but

00:07:09.360 the trend is still the same when you're a virgin on your wedding night you have the best outcomes

00:07:12.720 but when i say it doesn't work i don't mean it in terms of outcomes of your marriage i mean kids

00:07:16.880 don't stick to it kids are gonna have sex oh yeah i mean when you're putting them i mean most people

00:07:21.040 here were on birth control from like 16 to 18 years old so when you're enabling them to make bad

00:07:26.160 decisions of course they're going to make more of them but if you give the if you don't give them

00:07:30.080 birth control they're still going to have sex i disagree i went to catholic school we had no team

00:07:33.760 pregnancies and we had no sex ed none of that stuff we had none i had like 200 people and i know i know

00:07:38.720 some people like the catholic schools are different out here i don't know yeah and again i think social

00:07:43.920 media i think it's become such a strong influence i think things that you back in the day i'd say that you

00:07:51.280 wanted to hold back from the from your kids you could because you knew it was going to be at a

00:07:56.480 later stage that they would be exposed to this where now social media is such a strong current

00:08:01.280 it's so strong i would want my kids to be a lot more aware a lot sooner than maybe i was even aware

00:08:07.120 of things because i you know my sisters weren't on social media like that like do you know what i mean

00:08:12.240 so it's like now you know my niece my nieces they play on tablets they do all these things look at

00:08:16.640 king kardashian she nearly had a heart attack on the series because her children nearly saw a leak

00:08:21.760 of her you know thing tape that was like she was freaking out you know so you know this whole

00:08:27.920 internet thing is so big it's so strong

JustPearlyThings - August 09, 2023

Why Most Women Don't Share Experience On Rape

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