JustPearlyThings - December 26, 2022


WHY Single Mothers WANT Child SUPPORT


Episode Stats

Length

8 minutes

Words per Minute

199.81375

Word Count

1,645

Sentence Count

142

Misogynist Sentences

2

Hate Speech Sentences

2


Summary

In this episode, we talk about the process of getting custody of your child and how much you should be getting in regards to child support and child care. We have a guest on the show who is fighting for custody of her son. She is a single mom and her husband is a professional basketball player in North Carolina.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Can I ask you, because I was just thinking, can I ask you about child support and like that?
00:00:05.720 So they're saying you get $10,000 a month on child support.
00:00:10.460 No, I don't. I don't get $200,000. I don't get $10,000.
00:00:14.340 And right now, we are going through the process of child support and custody.
00:00:20.040 So unless we can work something out between us, we will be going to trial probably in a few months.
00:00:26.240 Right now, I'm getting $2,500 a month.
00:00:28.860 Okay. Could you do just like 50-50 custody with him? Would he want to do that?
00:00:35.120 Because of his career, he most likely would not be awarded that.
00:00:39.040 He could not do that.
00:00:39.360 Because he's on the road so much.
00:00:41.880 I'm very open-minded. Whenever he wants to see our son, you can come get him.
00:00:46.840 He's getting him from the 29th to the 7th, because he's traveling on this two-week period right now.
00:00:52.440 So anytime he wants him, I let him see him.
00:00:54.500 I mean, I love PJ. That's why I had a baby with him.
00:00:59.200 So despite all our shit that's been out there and how hard it has been transitioning from romantic to basically strangers that we got a co-parent now, I still love him.
00:01:10.380 I love him to death.
00:01:11.080 But yeah, so with the custody stuff, I'm very open-minded.
00:01:15.000 I just think with his career, it would be hard for a judge to award him 50-50, just because he travels so much.
00:01:22.360 Because in my head, isn't it something that can be worked out outside of court?
00:01:26.380 It is, but hearts don't break even.
00:01:30.140 And I think in his mind, he has a number, which I won't say, but he has a number that he wants to stick to.
00:01:38.260 And basically, when you're going through this process for North Carolina law, because it's very different other places, you don't get a percentage.
00:01:43.820 If you both combined make annually over $300,000, you're considered off the charts, off-grid.
00:01:50.820 So then at this point, you have to prove how much you need in child support.
00:01:54.680 So any bills that my son occupies, rent, car note, cable, groceries, those are things that my son occupies.
00:02:02.300 And in Charlotte, the least amount that I could get would be 50% of each of those expenses, right?
00:02:09.200 The most, depending on his career and what the judge sees fit, it could be up to 97%.
00:02:14.320 So whatever bills he occupies would be covered, whatever for his clothes and diapers and all that.
00:02:20.740 And then that's accumulated in a financial affidavit, is what it's called, right?
00:02:24.380 And then you present it to him, his team, if he wants to settle outside.
00:02:28.880 If he's like, actually, no, that's too high.
00:02:30.540 I don't want to do that.
00:02:31.280 I'd rather try my chances in court.
00:02:32.760 Then that's when you go to trial.
00:02:34.200 Do you think that he would give you nothing if it was up to him?
00:02:37.400 For the first two months, he gave me nothing.
00:02:40.880 Do you think that moving forward, he would continue to?
00:02:44.400 I think he would just give me $2,500.
00:02:48.480 You don't think that's, I think that's plenty to raise a kid.
00:02:51.640 Well, when you go based on the laws for North Carolina, it's all of the bills that my son occupies.
00:02:57.420 So my car note is, I think it's $2,000.
00:03:03.140 Our rent is $2,750.
00:03:05.320 All these bills.
00:03:08.480 So I'm saying, those two bills alone are already around.
00:03:14.100 But so this is just like, the way the men are going to see this is like, it's like, you're almost becoming entitled.
00:03:20.540 And I'm not trying to offend you.
00:03:21.880 It's just like, because to me, I'm like, $2,500 a month?
00:03:24.600 Auntie said she could do it on like $200 a month.
00:03:26.720 No, that's fine.
00:03:28.660 But in reality, she doesn't have a baby with an NBA player, right?
00:03:32.540 So what also is, well, let me finish though.
00:03:34.560 Go ahead.
00:03:34.860 So why it's entitled, it's law.
00:03:37.360 This isn't like my personal opinion.
00:03:39.460 And I've learned actually a lot about the law in Charlotte for child support.
00:03:42.380 My mom got $100 for me and my brother.
00:03:47.400 But again, it goes off based on your income and what the child would be accustomed to.
00:03:52.340 So that's where all of the opinions don't fucking matter.
00:03:55.780 Because if my son is getting picked up in a Lamborghini, it's like, he has to be in a equivalent.
00:04:02.240 Like the judge doesn't want there to be too big of a gap.
00:04:04.360 And that is law.
00:04:06.200 So people can be upset and feel how they want, but take it up with your judicial system.
00:04:10.120 Like this is what it is.
00:04:11.540 Yeah.
00:04:11.820 But like the whole point is you don't have to go to court over it.
00:04:14.980 No, I would like to settle it outside.
00:04:17.000 But that, you can't, if I can't, let me finish that.
00:04:20.520 Go ahead.
00:04:20.820 Go ahead.
00:04:21.880 I have tried to settle this outside and there's still a chance that we could, right?
00:04:27.720 I have given my financial affidavit.
00:04:30.640 They've subpoenaed my stuff.
00:04:32.100 They know what's going, all in my business.
00:04:33.680 They know what's going on.
00:04:35.680 It is, I do not have the final say.
00:04:38.320 Okay.
00:04:38.700 So if he doesn't want to settle, he does not have to.
00:04:41.740 We can have a judge tell us who should be awarded what and leave it up to chance.
00:04:48.540 Like I said, I wanted to settle from the very beginning.
00:04:51.960 It doesn't matter what I want because I'm asking him, this is what our bills are.
00:04:55.920 This is how much it would be.
00:04:56.980 Very reasonable number based on, again, you can't lie in the financial affidavit.
00:05:01.540 It's like they subpoena everything.
00:05:03.320 So that's where there's full transparency.
00:05:05.940 It's not like you can get a Chanel bag with this child support.
00:05:08.660 This is literally to cover your child's needs.
00:05:12.280 This is not alimony.
00:05:13.360 People get confused.
00:05:14.260 Like $100,000 for a kid, like it depends on their lifestyle.
00:05:18.060 I'm saying like, this is like, this is why the men like see these laws as unfair.
00:05:23.640 And this is, this is why they don't see this as fair because I hear $2,500 a month.
00:05:28.020 And I personally think, and this is, I grew up in a 1% family.
00:05:32.800 Okay.
00:05:33.000 Like this is, I had the life, like sort of, we were like kind of like rich people that like
00:05:38.140 dressed poor.
00:05:38.780 You know what I mean?
00:05:40.060 But, but it's like, like I hear $2,500 a month.
00:05:43.780 I'm like, that's plenty for a kid.
00:05:45.760 And I'm not, I'm not trying to.
00:05:46.920 No, that's fine.
00:05:47.520 I don't think it's going to like, like damage a kid if they once in a Lamborghini, once in
00:05:52.440 a Honda Civic.
00:05:53.180 But I'm telling you that's up to judge.
00:05:54.980 That's up to the judge.
00:05:55.820 And that's up to law.
00:05:56.700 And again, so if you're, if you are in it, like I said, it's like greater than equal
00:06:01.040 to.
00:06:01.380 So if you're using a $1.6 million house, a $500,000 house, $400,000 house makes sense.
00:06:06.900 Like, I'm not saying you have to be 1.6 million.
00:06:09.260 Like, that's not what it is.
00:06:10.420 So like I said, people are allowed to feel that way.
00:06:12.800 I would love if people were just out of the business in general, the court system, and
00:06:17.480 there was something that could be worked out, but just between families.
00:06:20.640 Like, that's it.
00:06:22.180 But that's, again, that's a fucking ideal world that we don't fucking live in.
00:06:25.100 Well, and the feedback I've gotten from men is a lot of times, like, we would get more
00:06:29.520 if we didn't drag their ass in court.
00:06:32.520 And like, this is the feedback.
00:06:34.100 Like, if you just give them time, start, like, a lot of times you get more than you think
00:06:38.760 you would have.
00:06:39.780 Because most, most men, like, that I know, want to take care of their kids.
00:06:43.860 But it's just like when, when a woman, because in their head, and to them, it's like, you're
00:06:47.900 dragging me to court, you're doing all this, you're asking me for all this money.
00:06:51.120 And it's like, in their head, they're like, well, fuck, like, fuck you.
00:06:53.780 No, well, and to also, where that point is not relevant to me is because he served me.
00:07:01.800 I didn't take this to court.
00:07:03.800 He wasn't paying me child support.
00:07:05.300 I had to get a lawyer to figure out what to do next.
00:07:08.040 But he served me first.
00:07:09.320 People don't know that.
00:07:10.260 So I got a paper, a letter in the mail, and said, this is what I'm about to do.
00:07:14.240 He's taking you to court.
00:07:15.560 Yes.
00:07:16.340 Okay.
00:07:16.740 I don't serve you.
00:07:18.000 So that just means he serves you with papers.
00:07:19.260 So it's not like, so for you saying, oh, well, you know, if you didn't take him to court,
00:07:23.040 maybe he would, well, he's taking me to court.
00:07:25.580 So again, I hear you.
00:07:27.580 And maybe for majority situations, that's what it is.
00:07:30.940 But I was served.
00:07:32.000 So then I had to retain a lawyer.
00:07:33.920 And like I said, all I did was got a consultation, just trying to figure out, he's not paying anything
00:07:38.140 in child support.
00:07:39.620 What do I do?
00:07:40.340 And then I got served.
00:07:41.720 So I had to retain her.
00:07:43.260 So that's why I'm saying my situation is like, I get it.
00:07:45.820 It's just not the typical, like, yeah, maybe if I was just a little more this way, he would
00:07:50.440 give me that.
00:07:50.960 No, he served me.
00:07:52.460 I can't really, I can't go, I have to just defend myself.
00:07:55.440 That's it.
00:07:56.620 So that's where we're at.
00:07:57.560 As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis
00:08:03.840 on this platform.
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