JustPearlyThings - December 26, 2022


WHY Single Mothers WANT Child SUPPORT


Episode Stats


Length

8 minutes

Words per minute

199.81375

Word count

1,645

Sentence count

142

Harmful content

Misogyny

2

sentences flagged

Hate speech

2

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about the process of getting custody of your child and how much you should be getting in regards to child support and child care. We have a guest on the show who is fighting for custody of her son. She is a single mom and her husband is a professional basketball player in North Carolina.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Can I ask you, because I was just thinking, can I ask you about child support and like that?
00:00:05.720 So they're saying you get $10,000 a month on child support.
00:00:10.460 No, I don't. I don't get $200,000. I don't get $10,000.
00:00:14.340 And right now, we are going through the process of child support and custody.
00:00:20.040 So unless we can work something out between us, we will be going to trial probably in a few months.
00:00:26.240 Right now, I'm getting $2,500 a month.
00:00:28.860 Okay. Could you do just like 50-50 custody with him? Would he want to do that?
00:00:35.120 Because of his career, he most likely would not be awarded that.
00:00:39.040 He could not do that.
00:00:39.360 Because he's on the road so much.
00:00:41.880 I'm very open-minded. Whenever he wants to see our son, you can come get him.
00:00:46.840 He's getting him from the 29th to the 7th, because he's traveling on this two-week period right now.
00:00:52.440 So anytime he wants him, I let him see him.
00:00:54.500 I mean, I love PJ. That's why I had a baby with him.
00:00:59.200 So despite all our shit that's been out there and how hard it has been transitioning from romantic to basically strangers that we got a co-parent now, I still love him.
00:01:10.380 I love him to death.
00:01:11.080 But yeah, so with the custody stuff, I'm very open-minded.
00:01:15.000 I just think with his career, it would be hard for a judge to award him 50-50, just because he travels so much.
00:01:22.360 Because in my head, isn't it something that can be worked out outside of court?
00:01:26.380 It is, but hearts don't break even.
00:01:30.140 And I think in his mind, he has a number, which I won't say, but he has a number that he wants to stick to.
00:01:38.260 And basically, when you're going through this process for North Carolina law, because it's very different other places, you don't get a percentage.
00:01:43.820 If you both combined make annually over $300,000, you're considered off the charts, off-grid.
00:01:50.820 So then at this point, you have to prove how much you need in child support.
00:01:54.680 So any bills that my son occupies, rent, car note, cable, groceries, those are things that my son occupies.
00:02:02.300 And in Charlotte, the least amount that I could get would be 50% of each of those expenses, right?
00:02:09.200 The most, depending on his career and what the judge sees fit, it could be up to 97%.
00:02:14.320 So whatever bills he occupies would be covered, whatever for his clothes and diapers and all that.
00:02:20.740 And then that's accumulated in a financial affidavit, is what it's called, right?
00:02:24.380 And then you present it to him, his team, if he wants to settle outside.
00:02:28.880 If he's like, actually, no, that's too high.
00:02:30.540 I don't want to do that.
00:02:31.280 I'd rather try my chances in court.
00:02:32.760 Then that's when you go to trial.
00:02:34.200 Do you think that he would give you nothing if it was up to him?
00:02:37.400 For the first two months, he gave me nothing.
00:02:40.880 Do you think that moving forward, he would continue to?
00:02:44.400 I think he would just give me $2,500.
00:02:48.480 You don't think that's, I think that's plenty to raise a kid.
00:02:51.640 Well, when you go based on the laws for North Carolina, it's all of the bills that my son occupies.
00:02:57.420 So my car note is, I think it's $2,000.
00:03:03.140 Our rent is $2,750.
00:03:05.320 All these bills.
00:03:08.480 So I'm saying, those two bills alone are already around.
00:03:14.100 But so this is just like, the way the men are going to see this is like, it's like, you're almost becoming entitled.
00:03:20.540 And I'm not trying to offend you.
00:03:21.880 It's just like, because to me, I'm like, $2,500 a month?
00:03:24.600 Auntie said she could do it on like $200 a month. 0.66
00:03:26.720 No, that's fine.
00:03:28.660 But in reality, she doesn't have a baby with an NBA player, right?
00:03:32.540 So what also is, well, let me finish though.
00:03:34.560 Go ahead.
00:03:34.860 So why it's entitled, it's law.
00:03:37.360 This isn't like my personal opinion.
00:03:39.460 And I've learned actually a lot about the law in Charlotte for child support.
00:03:42.380 My mom got $100 for me and my brother.
00:03:47.400 But again, it goes off based on your income and what the child would be accustomed to.
00:03:52.340 So that's where all of the opinions don't fucking matter.
00:03:55.780 Because if my son is getting picked up in a Lamborghini, it's like, he has to be in a equivalent.
00:04:02.240 Like the judge doesn't want there to be too big of a gap.
00:04:04.360 And that is law.
00:04:06.200 So people can be upset and feel how they want, but take it up with your judicial system.
00:04:10.120 Like this is what it is.
00:04:11.540 Yeah.
00:04:11.820 But like the whole point is you don't have to go to court over it.
00:04:14.980 No, I would like to settle it outside.
00:04:17.000 But that, you can't, if I can't, let me finish that.
00:04:20.520 Go ahead.
00:04:20.820 Go ahead.
00:04:21.880 I have tried to settle this outside and there's still a chance that we could, right?
00:04:27.720 I have given my financial affidavit.
00:04:30.640 They've subpoenaed my stuff.
00:04:32.100 They know what's going, all in my business.
00:04:33.680 They know what's going on.
00:04:35.680 It is, I do not have the final say.
00:04:38.320 Okay.
00:04:38.700 So if he doesn't want to settle, he does not have to.
00:04:41.740 We can have a judge tell us who should be awarded what and leave it up to chance.
00:04:48.540 Like I said, I wanted to settle from the very beginning.
00:04:51.960 It doesn't matter what I want because I'm asking him, this is what our bills are.
00:04:55.920 This is how much it would be.
00:04:56.980 Very reasonable number based on, again, you can't lie in the financial affidavit.
00:05:01.540 It's like they subpoena everything.
00:05:03.320 So that's where there's full transparency.
00:05:05.940 It's not like you can get a Chanel bag with this child support.
00:05:08.660 This is literally to cover your child's needs.
00:05:12.280 This is not alimony.
00:05:13.360 People get confused.
00:05:14.260 Like $100,000 for a kid, like it depends on their lifestyle.
00:05:18.060 I'm saying like, this is like, this is why the men like see these laws as unfair.
00:05:23.640 And this is, this is why they don't see this as fair because I hear $2,500 a month.
00:05:28.020 And I personally think, and this is, I grew up in a 1% family.
00:05:32.800 Okay.
00:05:33.000 Like this is, I had the life, like sort of, we were like kind of like rich people that like
00:05:38.140 dressed poor.
00:05:38.780 You know what I mean?
00:05:40.060 But, but it's like, like I hear $2,500 a month.
00:05:43.780 I'm like, that's plenty for a kid.
00:05:45.760 And I'm not, I'm not trying to.
00:05:46.920 No, that's fine.
00:05:47.520 I don't think it's going to like, like damage a kid if they once in a Lamborghini, once in
00:05:52.440 a Honda Civic.
00:05:53.180 But I'm telling you that's up to judge.
00:05:54.980 That's up to the judge.
00:05:55.820 And that's up to law.
00:05:56.700 And again, so if you're, if you are in it, like I said, it's like greater than equal
00:06:01.040 to.
00:06:01.380 So if you're using a $1.6 million house, a $500,000 house, $400,000 house makes sense.
00:06:06.900 Like, I'm not saying you have to be 1.6 million.
00:06:09.260 Like, that's not what it is.
00:06:10.420 So like I said, people are allowed to feel that way.
00:06:12.800 I would love if people were just out of the business in general, the court system, and
00:06:17.480 there was something that could be worked out, but just between families.
00:06:20.640 Like, that's it.
00:06:22.180 But that's, again, that's a fucking ideal world that we don't fucking live in.
00:06:25.100 Well, and the feedback I've gotten from men is a lot of times, like, we would get more
00:06:29.520 if we didn't drag their ass in court. 0.96
00:06:32.520 And like, this is the feedback.
00:06:34.100 Like, if you just give them time, start, like, a lot of times you get more than you think
00:06:38.760 you would have.
00:06:39.780 Because most, most men, like, that I know, want to take care of their kids.
00:06:43.860 But it's just like when, when a woman, because in their head, and to them, it's like, you're 0.98
00:06:47.900 dragging me to court, you're doing all this, you're asking me for all this money.
00:06:51.120 And it's like, in their head, they're like, well, fuck, like, fuck you.
00:06:53.780 No, well, and to also, where that point is not relevant to me is because he served me.
00:07:01.800 I didn't take this to court.
00:07:03.800 He wasn't paying me child support.
00:07:05.300 I had to get a lawyer to figure out what to do next.
00:07:08.040 But he served me first.
00:07:09.320 People don't know that.
00:07:10.260 So I got a paper, a letter in the mail, and said, this is what I'm about to do.
00:07:14.240 He's taking you to court.
00:07:15.560 Yes.
00:07:16.340 Okay.
00:07:16.740 I don't serve you.
00:07:18.000 So that just means he serves you with papers.
00:07:19.260 So it's not like, so for you saying, oh, well, you know, if you didn't take him to court,
00:07:23.040 maybe he would, well, he's taking me to court.
00:07:25.580 So again, I hear you.
00:07:27.580 And maybe for majority situations, that's what it is.
00:07:30.940 But I was served.
00:07:32.000 So then I had to retain a lawyer.
00:07:33.920 And like I said, all I did was got a consultation, just trying to figure out, he's not paying anything
00:07:38.140 in child support.
00:07:39.620 What do I do?
00:07:40.340 And then I got served.
00:07:41.720 So I had to retain her.
00:07:43.260 So that's why I'm saying my situation is like, I get it.
00:07:45.820 It's just not the typical, like, yeah, maybe if I was just a little more this way, he would
00:07:50.440 give me that.
00:07:50.960 No, he served me.
00:07:52.460 I can't really, I can't go, I have to just defend myself.
00:07:55.440 That's it.
00:07:56.620 So that's where we're at.
00:07:57.560 As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis
00:08:03.840 on this platform.
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