JustPearlyThings - October 09, 2023


Woke Woman ENDS Her Marriage And REGRETS IT!!!


Episode Stats


Length

12 minutes

Words per minute

155.12793

Word count

1,924

Sentence count

162

Harmful content

Misogyny

10

sentences flagged

Hate speech

3

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, I talk about a woman who decided to leave her 18 year marriage because she thinks she's a lesbian. I also talk about coming out as gay in church and the reaction of the church to her decision.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 So there's a woman going viral right now talking about she regretted divorcing her pastor husband.
00:00:05.980 And I honestly, I haven't even seen this yet.
00:00:07.900 I didn't have time to watch it.
00:00:09.200 So we'll see how this went for her.
00:00:11.500 Let's pull it up.
00:00:12.340 This is not easy.
00:00:14.860 Coming out later in life, losing the stability of an 18-year relationship that needed to be,
00:00:25.080 we needed to, I needed to leave anyways, but the stability is scary.
00:00:34.680 So if anyone thinks that like I got my shit together, I don't.
00:00:39.460 I have no idea what I am doing.
00:00:42.660 And the look she gave me was like disgust.
00:00:48.800 Welcome back, family.
00:00:50.140 Just when I thought that these modern women might have run out of reasons to divorce their husbands, 1.00
00:00:55.340 this woman just pulled a joker card on me. 1.00
00:00:58.140 She was the pastor's wife, but surprisingly decided to end an 18-year-old marriage 0.99
00:01:03.460 just because she thinks that she is a lesbian now. 1.00
00:01:06.500 And the worst part about this story is that she expected the whole church
00:01:10.540 to endorse her decision of breaking up her own family.
00:01:13.580 Let's jump in.
00:01:14.360 So I just received a really interesting message.
00:01:20.840 And this person says that my life looks so great and that he's going to unfollow me because
00:01:29.740 I'm practically gloating.
00:01:31.960 It wasn't a criticism.
00:01:33.240 I don't take it that way.
00:01:34.320 But I do wonder, like, what videos are you watching?
00:01:38.720 Because this is not easy.
00:01:46.040 Coming out later in life to my family, the first person in my family to come out,
00:01:55.660 coming out to people of church, losing that community,
00:02:00.660 losing the stability of an 18-year relationship that needed to be...
00:02:11.000 We needed to...
00:02:12.660 I needed to leave anyways, but the stability...
00:02:17.600 This is scary.
00:02:19.760 So if anyone thinks that, like, I got my shit together, I don't.
00:02:24.220 I have no idea what I am doing.
00:02:28.420 So that's my reality.
00:02:30.440 I'm strong and I'm bold and I'm aggressive and all those things.
00:02:34.820 But I'm also sensitive.
00:02:40.000 I just want to know what she thought was on the other side.
00:02:42.660 Like, why would church accept a gay woman? 1.00
00:02:47.000 I mean, bitch, it's church. 1.00
00:02:48.840 It's hilarious.
00:02:50.120 I mean, you know I got a little bit of a swearing problem,
00:02:52.800 but I don't go swear in church.
00:02:54.480 Do you know what I mean?
00:02:55.060 Like, what does she... 0.81
00:02:56.000 It's the fact that she says,
00:02:58.140 you guys think I've got it together.
00:03:00.540 No one thinks you've got it together.
00:03:02.680 No one is seeing that, thinking you've got it together.
00:03:06.820 I just want to know, okay, because this is my thought.
00:03:09.540 If you're going to be practically, like, on the verge of homelessness,
00:03:13.300 couldn't you just, like, like girls and just deal with it and just stay? 0.64
00:03:18.180 Like, I mean, I don't know.
00:03:20.280 Maybe I'm going crazy, but I'm like...
00:03:22.800 Is your sexuality, like, that important?
00:03:25.540 She's crying a lot about something that she's chosen to do, right?
00:03:30.340 Yeah.
00:03:30.740 She's complaining that she's lost all of these things.
00:03:33.720 And she's saying, you know, I'm tough, all of this.
00:03:36.560 It's like, okay, well, this video definitely doesn't make it look like that.
00:03:39.140 But regardless, she's saying all of this,
00:03:41.800 and she's complaining about all the things she's lost.
00:03:44.420 So it's like, well...
00:03:46.800 Maybe don't.
00:03:50.520 Maybe don't.
00:03:51.960 Like, I don't know.
00:03:54.440 Maybe the men are going to come for me in the comments,
00:03:56.020 but is pussy that important? 0.98
00:03:58.520 And it was probably the hardest interaction I've had yet.
00:04:04.380 For about eight years, I was a youth pastor at a church.
00:04:07.340 And I had a core group of about six girls that I would mentor.
00:04:14.000 Like, I would go to their sport games and their concerts and their shows.
00:04:18.380 And I was really just there to encourage them and build them up.
00:04:21.860 And one of my closest students, I ran into her yesterday.
00:04:26.260 And I was in shock.
00:04:27.680 And I just went in like, oh, my God, hi!
00:04:30.380 And the look she gave me was like disgust.
00:04:43.620 Now, I didn't feel shame.
00:04:46.340 And so that's fucking exciting.
00:04:47.800 I didn't feel any shame.
00:04:50.160 But I was sad afterwards.
00:04:52.080 That I realized how much time I had invested in people.
00:05:01.360 And that how they accepted me as a certain version.
00:05:06.060 I was still Jessie then.
00:05:08.260 Like, I didn't change.
00:05:09.580 I got better.
00:05:10.540 Fuck yeah, I got better.
00:05:13.300 Once again,
00:05:15.720 my TikTok family
00:05:17.440 has just been
00:05:19.620 there.
00:05:23.360 And I never,
00:05:24.700 I never would have thought
00:05:27.240 that a social media app
00:05:28.860 would literally, like, be my lifeline.
00:05:36.440 I never,
00:05:37.740 I never would have thought this, guys.
00:05:40.100 I'm so
00:05:41.300 thankful.
00:05:43.040 And I've been absent on here
00:05:44.680 for good reason.
00:05:49.620 I never in a million years
00:05:58.240 would have thought
00:05:59.240 that this process
00:06:00.040 would be as difficult
00:06:01.040 as it has been.
00:06:02.520 And, um,
00:06:03.460 yes, I'm vague booking
00:06:04.460 and that's just the way
00:06:05.520 it's going to have to be
00:06:06.420 for safety.
00:06:08.460 And, uh,
00:06:09.500 I just,
00:06:10.380 I just had friends.
00:06:13.480 And guys,
00:06:13.820 I've met these people, like, once.
00:06:15.780 Twice?
00:06:16.360 A couple times?
00:06:16.840 They're like,
00:06:19.700 you can come hang out.
00:06:30.340 I just don't know
00:06:31.340 what I would have done
00:06:31.980 without this community.
00:06:33.820 You guys have been
00:06:34.660 my f***ing lifeline.
00:06:36.280 I don't know what
00:06:37.200 she expected to happen.
00:06:39.580 Like, what,
00:06:40.000 you think they're gonna,
00:06:40.780 at church,
00:06:41.580 they're gonna say,
00:06:42.160 wow, we're so happy you just,
00:06:43.440 I actually,
00:06:44.280 I kind of want to go
00:06:45.340 to this church.
00:06:46.200 Yeah.
00:06:46.660 Because it sounds based.
00:06:49.860 A church that actually
00:06:51.020 sticks by traditional
00:06:52.240 church values.
00:06:52.760 Yeah, that's what I thought.
00:06:53.760 I was like.
00:06:54.020 In 2023.
00:06:55.220 I know, that's what I was like.
00:06:55.980 I was like,
00:06:56.300 what church is,
00:06:57.060 what church do you go to?
00:06:59.580 No, okay,
00:07:00.240 because I'm like,
00:07:02.020 what did she expect?
00:07:03.400 Then she's like,
00:07:03.940 okay,
00:07:04.280 I didn't feel shame,
00:07:06.240 but I felt sad.
00:07:07.420 And I'm like,
00:07:09.180 you're kind of describing.
00:07:10.860 I would,
00:07:12.080 I would love
00:07:13.120 to take this woman's phone 0.99
00:07:15.100 off of her for a month.
00:07:17.400 I can,
00:07:18.140 oh,
00:07:18.680 I just,
00:07:19.440 it'd be a really interesting
00:07:20.320 experiment.
00:07:21.040 I think she'd go back.
00:07:22.400 Yeah, I think she would too.
00:07:22.920 Because the only reason
00:07:23.780 that she has clearly
00:07:25.260 got all these ideas
00:07:26.100 is she's spent
00:07:26.700 way too much time
00:07:27.540 on TikTok
00:07:27.940 or whatever it is.
00:07:29.700 She's decided
00:07:31.080 that she wants to be
00:07:32.340 a martyr
00:07:33.500 among the liberals
00:07:34.480 and what's the easiest way
00:07:35.540 to do that?
00:07:36.320 Well,
00:07:36.560 to leave your children
00:07:37.920 and say that you're now
00:07:39.120 pursuing your sexual liberation
00:07:40.720 in whatever way,
00:07:41.560 shape or form that may be.
00:07:43.300 And yeah,
00:07:45.000 she apparently
00:07:46.100 doesn't feel any shame.
00:07:47.840 I think let's take
00:07:48.640 her phone away
00:07:49.320 because the only reason
00:07:50.120 she doesn't feel shame
00:07:50.940 right now
00:07:51.320 is because she's in this
00:07:52.180 narcissistic loop.
00:07:55.240 Take it away.
00:07:56.420 I know.
00:07:56.920 And then let's reassess
00:07:57.980 the situation.
00:07:59.420 Yeah,
00:07:59.980 I bet if,
00:08:00.400 yeah,
00:08:00.560 you took it away
00:08:01.180 for a month.
00:08:01.660 Some people really need
00:08:02.600 a social media break.
00:08:04.480 Like,
00:08:04.920 I challenge people
00:08:06.400 like this
00:08:07.020 to go a week
00:08:07.980 without your phone.
00:08:09.120 Just try it.
00:08:10.100 You see it in the lifespans
00:08:11.600 of almost like the,
00:08:13.780 like a lot of influencers
00:08:15.000 that were like,
00:08:15.800 they thought one thing
00:08:16.740 they were more conservative
00:08:17.700 in their early 20s.
00:08:19.100 And you see them
00:08:20.100 kind of switch
00:08:20.840 when they start to get
00:08:21.880 like a group,
00:08:22.720 like they start to let
00:08:23.540 like one liberal
00:08:24.340 in the group
00:08:25.040 and they just start to get,
00:08:26.500 then they start to
00:08:27.260 affect the whole space.
00:08:28.200 Then they divorce
00:08:29.260 their husbands
00:08:30.260 and it's just like crazy.
00:08:32.520 But,
00:08:32.680 that was my thought
00:08:34.320 was I was like,
00:08:35.420 it's almost like better
00:08:36.500 that you know the patterns
00:08:37.780 and tell them the pattern.
00:08:39.400 Like this is just,
00:08:40.060 I'm thinking out loud,
00:08:41.100 spitballing a little bit.
00:08:42.220 But I was,
00:08:42.680 I was thinking how
00:08:43.780 I don't think the solution
00:08:45.060 is hiding people
00:08:46.480 from the world
00:08:47.240 because the world
00:08:47.960 will come to them.
00:08:49.500 You can't avoid it.
00:08:50.800 Yes.
00:08:51.200 And it's interesting
00:08:51.920 because in my,
00:08:53.420 I feel like my generation
00:08:54.860 and your generation
00:08:55.780 is like a slight difference
00:08:57.200 because mine wasn't completely,
00:08:58.620 it was like half online
00:08:59.900 where you grew up
00:09:01.500 because you're 22.
00:09:02.940 23 now.
00:09:03.420 23, yeah.
00:09:04.400 So you grew up pretty,
00:09:06.140 I would imagine
00:09:06.800 everyone was on social media.
00:09:08.740 Yeah, so I would say
00:09:09.880 by sort of year five,
00:09:13.340 which is for the American people,
00:09:15.780 like 10 years old,
00:09:17.240 we had like Vine come about.
00:09:20.600 Like my sort of
00:09:22.540 really funny memories
00:09:23.640 from when I'm like 10, 11
00:09:24.820 is like me and my friends
00:09:26.880 recreating Vines.
00:09:29.060 So it was very prominent
00:09:31.380 from such a young age.
00:09:33.300 And like think about
00:09:33.940 how young that is.
00:09:34.880 10 years old
00:09:35.860 and Vine was like
00:09:37.660 everything back then.
00:09:39.360 Yeah.
00:09:40.280 Well, and that's like,
00:09:40.960 Vine was great though.
00:09:41.660 We had,
00:09:42.880 yeah, Facebook was
00:09:44.120 the big one for me.
00:09:45.640 Yeah, so Facebook
00:09:46.380 with my generation
00:09:47.280 is like really not,
00:09:48.740 yeah.
00:09:49.520 It's like where you
00:09:50.560 go for like family things
00:09:52.360 and to see what's going on
00:09:53.480 in the local area
00:09:54.200 or if someone's
00:09:54.820 selling something maybe.
00:09:56.000 But Facebook was always
00:09:57.200 kind of like an older
00:09:58.120 generation thing,
00:09:59.580 at least for my group of people.
00:10:02.520 So do you remember when,
00:10:04.800 when did like the whole
00:10:05.880 Black Lives Matter riot happen?
00:10:07.660 How old were you?
00:10:09.420 It was after George Floyd.
00:10:11.080 Yeah.
00:10:11.740 So I remember.
00:10:12.780 Well, it was earlier
00:10:13.560 than that for me.
00:10:15.100 Oh, so for me,
00:10:15.780 it was George Floyd
00:10:16.580 and then everyone started
00:10:17.440 posting the Black Square
00:10:18.540 on their social media
00:10:20.200 which would have been 20,
00:10:23.440 I'm going to say
00:10:23.900 end of 2019,
00:10:24.780 beginning of 2020.
00:10:25.660 Do you have anyone,
00:10:26.280 I had some chicks 1.00
00:10:27.040 like stop talking to me
00:10:28.260 because I didn't post a Black Square.
00:10:29.180 I was told,
00:10:29.920 I was part of the problem.
00:10:31.600 Yeah.
00:10:31.760 Well, and I wasn't even
00:10:32.720 really that political then.
00:10:34.840 You know,
00:10:35.060 I was playing volleyball
00:10:35.960 so I didn't,
00:10:36.580 I wasn't posting
00:10:37.300 anything political.
00:10:38.540 So I didn't have
00:10:39.420 any context to the situation
00:10:40.780 and I saw the video
00:10:41.900 and obviously not having
00:10:43.580 the context,
00:10:44.200 it moved me
00:10:44.720 because I thought
00:10:45.520 I've just watched
00:10:46.340 someone die.
00:10:47.420 Yeah.
00:10:48.760 So when it hit,
00:10:50.280 I did comment
00:10:51.120 and I said like,
00:10:51.920 this is a very sad story
00:10:52.860 that someone's been killed
00:10:54.200 and that was pretty much it
00:10:55.340 and yeah,
00:10:56.620 I had someone messaging me
00:10:58.340 saying,
00:10:59.280 even though I was
00:11:00.700 showing compassion,
00:11:02.060 I wasn't saying
00:11:02.700 anything controversial
00:11:03.300 at this point,
00:11:04.060 I just showed compassion
00:11:05.160 and I was told,
00:11:05.860 you can't show compassion
00:11:07.360 because you're white,
00:11:08.260 you're part of the problem
00:11:09.240 and then they deleted me
00:11:10.720 off Snapchat.
00:11:11.960 Oh wow.
00:11:12.480 Yeah,
00:11:13.000 I really didn't get it.
00:11:14.560 No,
00:11:15.120 I had,
00:11:15.580 I had a chick, 1.00
00:11:17.660 oh,
00:11:18.560 this girl I used
00:11:19.120 to be friends with
00:11:19.920 basically sent me
00:11:20.860 this long paragraph
00:11:22.140 talking about why,
00:11:24.760 like aren't you posting
00:11:25.640 a black square?
00:11:26.780 Oh,
00:11:26.900 I got a few of those
00:11:27.700 as well.
00:11:27.900 Yeah,
00:11:28.200 and I was just kind of like,
00:11:29.500 well,
00:11:30.100 I just don't want,
00:11:31.360 I don't want to,
00:11:32.220 you know,
00:11:32.520 I'm,
00:11:33.440 I'm not even that political.
00:11:35.220 Yeah.
00:11:35.440 Like at the time,
00:11:36.200 like I was always
00:11:36.740 more conservative
00:11:37.840 but I just,
00:11:39.340 I was working a sales job.
00:11:41.660 Yeah.
00:11:42.100 Yeah.
00:11:42.300 So,
00:11:42.800 I don't want to have it
00:11:45.080 on my profile
00:11:47.140 because it's the same reason
00:11:48.940 why I don't wear a mask.
00:11:51.560 I don't want to pledge
00:11:52.760 my allegiance to something.
00:11:54.820 And for me,
00:11:55.620 it was,
00:11:56.020 I don't want to pledge
00:11:56.640 my allegiance to something
00:11:57.860 that is all about
00:11:59.300 identity politics
00:12:00.440 because ultimately,
00:12:02.200 you know,
00:12:02.900 the whole point should be
00:12:04.040 you don't see race.
00:12:05.640 Yeah.
00:12:06.020 So,
00:12:06.600 black lives matter
00:12:07.580 means you see
00:12:08.500 a difference between
00:12:09.700 black lives
00:12:10.540 and any other lives.
00:12:11.380 And I don't want to pledge
00:12:12.500 my allegiance
00:12:13.040 to that kind of mentality.
00:12:14.440 Yeah.
00:12:14.680 Yeah.
00:12:14.940 Got you.
00:12:18.640 Yeah.
00:12:19.520 Yeah.
00:12:21.900 Yeah.
00:12:22.160 Yeah.