JustPearlyThings - August 17, 2023


Woke Woman Gets SHUTDOWN For Saying This...


Episode Stats


Length

9 minutes

Words per minute

216.55182

Word count

2,116

Sentence count

239

Harmful content

Misogyny

20

sentences flagged

Hate speech

14

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about leaving an alcoholic husband and how we should have handled it differently. We also talk about the importance of a good relationship with our dads and how important it is for us to have them in our lives.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 So I'm 25 and I'm divorced and I did choose monogamy young.
00:00:05.380 I always, we got married when I was 23 and why didn't you stay married?
00:00:11.860 Why didn't I?
00:00:12.680 Yeah.
00:00:16.520 I did something.
00:00:17.920 I, I got divorced because I couldn't compromise because my ex-husband, he, he was an alcoholic.
00:00:25.820 So he didn't want to stop drinking.
00:00:28.740 He, I tried everything that I could.
00:00:31.080 I tried therapy.
00:00:32.380 I tried offering services, but you can't change what somebody.
00:00:38.760 Did you know he was an alcoholic when you married him?
00:00:40.940 No, I didn't.
00:00:42.140 There's no warning signs.
00:00:43.640 Was he an alcoholic when you married him or did that happen?
00:00:45.820 So it gradually got worse as we, after, actually after we had gotten married.
00:00:50.500 Was it like work related?
00:00:51.620 Like that he wasn't able to provide like that.
00:00:53.560 So it started to get on him because I know that about that happened.
00:00:56.020 Well, he, he's prior military.
00:00:58.020 He was deployed.
00:00:59.640 He was in combat and he had, yeah, he had a lot of that.
00:01:04.080 And in the beginning it was regulated with medication and it was good, you know, but after a while, like sometimes.
00:01:12.420 Definitely.
00:01:12.800 Do you know how he's doing now?
00:01:14.320 Yeah.
00:01:14.540 We still have contact even to this day.
00:01:16.780 He's okay now or better or what?
00:01:17.660 He's right where I left him, unfortunately.
00:01:21.100 Yeah.
00:01:22.440 Wow.
00:01:23.020 I don't blame you one bit for leaving that type of environment.
00:01:26.340 Yeah, it wasn't something that I could compromise with any longer.
00:01:29.100 And when I tell you I did everything that I could to stay with him, I did.
00:01:32.480 And I would have done anything that he needed to.
00:01:34.380 But you didn't stay with him.
00:01:35.960 So how could you say you did everything you could to stay if you left?
00:01:39.380 I'm not, I'm not even saying you're wrong for it, but I'm saying like, it's kind of not true.
00:01:42.880 Because.
00:01:43.380 You know, women used to date alcoholics for like a decade and then they'd stop. 0.98
00:01:47.680 They would just like stick with it.
00:01:48.880 And then they would always regret it.
00:01:50.140 I'm not.
00:01:50.600 I'm not.
00:01:51.440 Look at, look at, look at.
00:01:52.480 I'm not.
00:01:52.980 What I'm not pushing back on is saying, oh, you shouldn't have left that or whatever.
00:01:56.500 What I am saying is like this idea that we did everything.
00:02:00.060 You're there like what?
00:02:01.040 I guess.
00:02:01.420 You're 25.
00:02:02.600 So it's like two years.
00:02:03.520 Yeah.
00:02:03.700 But what is the timeline for that?
00:02:05.720 Exactly.
00:02:06.300 Well, I just, you know, I'm, I'm Catholic, so I don't believe in divorce.
00:02:10.300 So I actually, I think it's like for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse and sickness
00:02:14.940 and in health.
00:02:15.620 So I don't, I don't believe in divorce.
00:02:17.620 So if somebody was manipulating you every single day.
00:02:20.320 Well, women are usually the more manipulative ones anyway. 1.00
00:02:22.560 I think your dad, I think we would all be in a better place if our dads helped us pick
00:02:26.920 husbands because we don't pick very well. 1.00
00:02:29.360 All right.
00:02:30.160 My dad's not here.
00:02:31.220 Yeah.
00:02:31.360 My dad's not here.
00:02:32.140 Yeah.
00:02:32.360 My dad's not here either.
00:02:34.620 No.
00:02:35.180 Are we going to do a say-off because then we can ask our dad.
00:02:37.720 Well, if you want to, if you want to talk about the dads, then like the moms picked the
00:02:41.460 dad, you're, you guys' dad.
00:02:43.160 So it's like, if they're, I think we need the dads involved.
00:02:46.240 How many of you grew up in a nuclear family, like a mom and dad at home before they pass 0.56
00:02:50.340 away, before they pass away.
00:02:51.540 Okay.
00:02:52.200 Two of you?
00:02:52.700 Okay.
00:02:53.320 All right.
00:02:53.860 That's a lot.
00:02:54.520 I come from a broken home.
00:02:55.560 That's actually really good at all.
00:02:56.920 I had to pretty much build what I had in regards to what my preferences could be.
00:03:05.180 Yeah.
00:03:05.620 Yeah.
00:03:05.860 And that's really, that's sad.
00:03:07.280 And I think, again, because it'll go to our parents, right?
00:03:10.820 And a lot of our parents didn't pick well either.
00:03:13.140 Like a lot of our moms picked them.
00:03:13.920 Well, I wouldn't say that I didn't have that type of guidance.
00:03:16.760 I mean, I definitely have that relationship with my dad where I could bring him.
00:03:20.000 I did bring my dad to, or bring my husband to my dad at the time, you know?
00:03:25.340 And your dad was like, this is a great choice.
00:03:27.200 He thought he was great.
00:03:28.360 He thought he was.
00:03:29.460 And he probably was, but into the PTSD and everything else.
00:03:32.180 Right.
00:03:32.440 And there's a lot of factors that play into it, you know?
00:03:34.900 And so he just started drinking and then just became an alcoholic in two years?
00:03:39.560 He was drinking.
00:03:40.400 Because how long were you married?
00:03:41.820 We were together, we were together for a year.
00:03:44.660 We were married for two years.
00:03:47.120 Okay.
00:03:47.560 So we were together for all in all three years.
00:03:49.860 Okay.
00:03:50.060 And good job for getting the fuck out of there.
00:03:52.320 Thank you.
00:03:52.920 Thank you.
00:03:53.220 You're welcome.
00:03:53.460 You know, at the end of the day, too, he's, it's, he's a great person.
00:03:58.080 Like, I'm not knocking him on that at all.
00:04:00.580 Like, that's one thing, that's one of the reasons why I loved him.
00:04:04.780 Everyone on this earth needs to put their own happiness first above everything.
00:04:08.760 Wrong.
00:04:08.900 I think you got to put your happiness last.
00:04:11.120 If you are, how can you pour from an empty cup?
00:04:13.940 I think that's just nonsense, feminist garbage. 1.00
00:04:17.120 No, it's not.
00:04:17.560 Basically.
00:04:18.020 It's for people.
00:04:18.500 No, no, because you're going to be unhappy in marriage at some point.
00:04:22.840 You think our great grandmothers stayed together for 50 years, 60 years, thinking about themselves.
00:04:30.440 You know how I could tell the generational switch?
00:04:32.680 You can hear it in the music.
00:04:34.240 We got the Taylor Swift generation, which is I'm a victim, blah, blah, blah.
00:04:38.680 Where, do you remember, do you remember the song Jolene?
00:04:41.060 You remember the song Jolene?
00:04:41.860 Yeah, I love that song.
00:04:42.940 No, no, but that's how women used to react. 1.00
00:04:44.980 Please don't take my man.
00:04:46.000 Please don't take my man.
00:04:47.500 Because she was worried that her man was cheating.
00:04:51.300 And instead of keying his car, which, you know, Carrie Underwood keying his car, she, no, but she stayed with them.
00:04:57.760 I heard her talk about that.
00:04:59.700 And it's like it was just a completely different mindset where she's like, I can't live without this guy.
00:05:04.460 Where now it's like women, we just care about ourselves and our happiness. 1.00
00:05:07.840 And if the outcomes were good, then why aren't families together?
00:05:11.500 And, you know, I feel like social media has a lot to do with that, too, because there's always like somebody on the back burner or someone we've been eyeing
00:05:16.840 or somebody else who we know we could get somebody together.
00:05:19.600 Someone that's been liking your pictures for the last two years and are just waiting for their chance.
00:05:23.520 Yeah, it's so easy to just get on a dating app and find a replacement.
00:05:26.260 That's the outlier.
00:05:27.320 That's the guy friend that none of you want to be with, but he's a nice guy.
00:05:31.140 And he's the guy waiting on the outside, the guy that's liking all your pictures.
00:05:34.780 Hey, oh, but he's my guy friend.
00:05:35.720 He's the nice guy.
00:05:36.400 Oh, that's not my guy friend.
00:05:37.720 I don't have to follow him.
00:05:38.720 Raise of hands.
00:05:39.540 I don't think it was your bad guy.
00:05:40.960 The nice guy always fucking minutes last in this generation.
00:05:44.320 Raise of hands.
00:05:45.180 Who here has been in a relationship and had a backup plan?
00:05:49.280 Raise your hand.
00:05:50.560 Just ever in general?
00:05:51.640 Ever.
00:05:52.020 Ever.
00:05:52.960 My relationships last like three months.
00:05:54.540 I have never gotten into a relationship thinking that it was going to end.
00:06:00.900 So I've never had a backup plan, but when I found out that they did something, I could
00:06:05.360 have either chose to leave it or chose to get back.
00:06:08.320 And that's the only kind of backup plan that I've had.
00:06:10.720 And never initially.
00:06:11.880 Have you ever dated a guy friend?
00:06:14.780 No.
00:06:14.960 Yeah, I have.
00:06:15.640 Yeah?
00:06:16.120 Yeah?
00:06:16.720 I've never dated a guy friend.
00:06:17.780 If you're a friend in my eyes.
00:06:19.600 I did, yes.
00:06:19.700 If you're a friend for life.
00:06:20.940 And I didn't want to.
00:06:22.140 It was a shock.
00:06:22.240 It got snuck into me because my best friend had just committed suicide.
00:06:26.340 Yeah, it's all right.
00:06:27.600 My best friend had just committed suicide.
00:06:29.500 So I felt very vulnerable.
00:06:31.980 And that's how my best guy friend got to sneak in there.
00:06:34.780 Okay.
00:06:35.220 Well, that's not a guy friend, though.
00:06:37.700 My guy friend?
00:06:38.240 No, no, no.
00:06:39.340 Wait, wait, wait.
00:06:40.180 Hold on.
00:06:40.760 Let me tell you.
00:06:41.300 We're going to talk about a guy friend.
00:06:42.200 No, no.
00:06:42.560 That's not a guy friend.
00:06:43.020 If I knew him four years and we didn't do anything, and then when my friend passed away
00:06:46.940 and he was being there for me, then he kind of...
00:06:49.380 But when that guy...
00:06:50.980 You know why you...
00:06:51.380 He was always thinking about that in the back of his mind, though.
00:06:53.460 But he was my friend for four years.
00:06:55.140 He doesn't discredit the friendship.
00:06:56.620 He never got to tell me.
00:06:56.800 Do you know why they're guy friends?
00:06:58.760 I think that if you're going to be a guy friend, you put it in.
00:07:01.120 Hey, no.
00:07:01.780 No, do you know why they're guy friends?
00:07:03.120 We never went on a...
00:07:03.960 Why?
00:07:04.760 Okay, they're probably waiting for the chance, but we never went on a date.
00:07:07.480 They never touched me.
00:07:08.440 I have a story.
00:07:08.620 I never slept with it.
00:07:09.480 Because you told them they're their guy friends.
00:07:11.440 I did.
00:07:12.160 Yeah.
00:07:12.880 That's the only reason.
00:07:13.920 She gets it.
00:07:14.540 I see the nod.
00:07:15.740 They're always waiting.
00:07:16.740 And so as a guy, as a guy, if I'm dating a gal, oh, I got five guy friends, I'm like,
00:07:21.240 I put the brakes on.
00:07:22.280 Right.
00:07:22.560 I'm like, wait a minute.
00:07:23.480 You got a bunch of guys on set.
00:07:24.840 So women, pretty women always have a backup plan. 1.00
00:07:27.680 And pretty women are never single. 1.00
00:07:29.760 Women nowadays, it used to be. 1.00
00:07:31.400 Nowadays, women always... 1.00
00:07:33.000 If I looked at your IGs and your inbox, your DMs, you got backup plans.
00:07:38.320 You just don't know it.
00:07:39.180 But you know you have backup plans.
00:07:41.120 You know what I'm saying?
00:07:42.360 You just don't know it.
00:07:43.700 Check this out.
00:07:44.100 Most men, they don't get DMs from chicks.
00:07:47.020 Right.
00:07:48.060 Hold on.
00:07:48.840 Because I've been checking my ex-boyfriend's fucking phone, and it'd be all kind of DMs.
00:07:53.420 That's because all my friends is in their DMs, too.
00:07:56.320 But you hear what I'm saying?
00:07:57.300 You hear what I'm saying?
00:07:58.280 Like, you guys get body part pics.
00:08:01.760 You know what I get?
00:08:02.520 It's a joke.
00:08:03.160 It's a joke.
00:08:04.020 I've made fun of cats, so I get pussy pics all the time. 1.00
00:08:06.920 I get cats, but it's cats.
00:08:09.580 So I get people sending me cat jokes because I made a joke about single women, angel numbers, 1.00
00:08:14.680 horoscopes, and cats and box wine.
00:08:17.140 I think they're so unattractive women sending dick pics. 1.00
00:08:19.980 Yeah.
00:08:20.300 We don't like this.
00:08:21.080 Oh, my gosh.
00:08:21.780 We hate it.
00:08:22.560 But that's your backup plan.
00:08:23.700 I feel like when they send me a shirtless pic.
00:08:24.820 Can I just say this for anybody who's listening?
00:08:27.360 Like, girls only like dick pics when we ask for that dick. 1.00
00:08:30.740 If you ever send an unsolicited dick, there's no woman. 1.00
00:08:34.560 Like, I don't want to say no woman ever.
00:08:36.500 I'm going to say 10% because I'm 10% of weirdos.
00:08:39.420 They're like, oh, my God.
00:08:40.700 Thank you for that dick pic.
00:08:42.220 Yay! 0.99
00:08:42.540 Yeah, the thing about it, if you send a random dick pic to us, it's very perverted.
00:08:47.940 It doesn't seem attractive.
00:08:49.280 Okay, now you know how men think.
00:08:51.460 Men are fun, football, food, and fucking. 0.84
00:08:55.180 We're simple.
00:08:56.140 Yeah.
00:08:56.380 We're simple creatures of habit, right?
00:08:58.160 Men are always looking at women as a sexual object. 0.94
00:09:01.320 That's why she said the perfect body. 0.98
00:09:02.760 Right?
00:09:03.120 That's why she said that.
00:09:04.260 Guys don't care about your degree.
00:09:06.040 Right.
00:09:06.300 Guys don't care about your money.
00:09:07.160 Now, if they're simping and they're like, oh, she's going to be my sugar mama. 0.87
00:09:11.380 But guys, first look at the woman. 1.00
00:09:13.400 She's hot. 1.00
00:09:14.080 Whatever's in the desire of the guy, sexually, what he likes, and he's going to look at her.
00:09:19.060 Now, looks is also objective.
00:09:20.960 There's objective truth to that, what beauty is, but not subjective, but objective.
00:09:25.020 So guys are like, okay, we think with our testosterone.
00:09:29.200 We were put here to breed, procreate. 0.99
00:09:31.680 Women look at a guy and they go for the resources, not money. 1.00
00:09:34.780 When I say resources, you're going to have children.
00:09:36.700 You want the best outcome and probability for your family to have longevity.
00:09:41.260 So you're not going to date no scrub, scrub, right?
00:09:45.460 That's not your deal.