JustPearlyThings - August 17, 2023


Woke Woman Gets SHUTDOWN For Saying This...


Episode Stats

Length

9 minutes

Words per Minute

216.55182

Word Count

2,116

Sentence Count

239

Misogynist Sentences

20

Hate Speech Sentences

14


Summary

In this episode, we talk about leaving an alcoholic husband and how we should have handled it differently. We also talk about the importance of a good relationship with our dads and how important it is for us to have them in our lives.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 So I'm 25 and I'm divorced and I did choose monogamy young.
00:00:05.380 I always, we got married when I was 23 and why didn't you stay married?
00:00:11.860 Why didn't I?
00:00:12.680 Yeah.
00:00:16.520 I did something.
00:00:17.920 I, I got divorced because I couldn't compromise because my ex-husband, he, he was an alcoholic.
00:00:25.820 So he didn't want to stop drinking.
00:00:28.740 He, I tried everything that I could.
00:00:31.080 I tried therapy.
00:00:32.380 I tried offering services, but you can't change what somebody.
00:00:38.760 Did you know he was an alcoholic when you married him?
00:00:40.940 No, I didn't.
00:00:42.140 There's no warning signs.
00:00:43.640 Was he an alcoholic when you married him or did that happen?
00:00:45.820 So it gradually got worse as we, after, actually after we had gotten married.
00:00:50.500 Was it like work related?
00:00:51.620 Like that he wasn't able to provide like that.
00:00:53.560 So it started to get on him because I know that about that happened.
00:00:56.020 Well, he, he's prior military.
00:00:58.020 He was deployed.
00:00:59.640 He was in combat and he had, yeah, he had a lot of that.
00:01:04.080 And in the beginning it was regulated with medication and it was good, you know, but after a while, like sometimes.
00:01:12.420 Definitely.
00:01:12.800 Do you know how he's doing now?
00:01:14.320 Yeah.
00:01:14.540 We still have contact even to this day.
00:01:16.780 He's okay now or better or what?
00:01:17.660 He's right where I left him, unfortunately.
00:01:21.100 Yeah.
00:01:22.440 Wow.
00:01:23.020 I don't blame you one bit for leaving that type of environment.
00:01:26.340 Yeah, it wasn't something that I could compromise with any longer.
00:01:29.100 And when I tell you I did everything that I could to stay with him, I did.
00:01:32.480 And I would have done anything that he needed to.
00:01:34.380 But you didn't stay with him.
00:01:35.960 So how could you say you did everything you could to stay if you left?
00:01:39.380 I'm not, I'm not even saying you're wrong for it, but I'm saying like, it's kind of not true.
00:01:42.880 Because.
00:01:43.380 You know, women used to date alcoholics for like a decade and then they'd stop.
00:01:47.680 They would just like stick with it.
00:01:48.880 And then they would always regret it.
00:01:50.140 I'm not.
00:01:50.600 I'm not.
00:01:51.440 Look at, look at, look at.
00:01:52.480 I'm not.
00:01:52.980 What I'm not pushing back on is saying, oh, you shouldn't have left that or whatever.
00:01:56.500 What I am saying is like this idea that we did everything.
00:02:00.060 You're there like what?
00:02:01.040 I guess.
00:02:01.420 You're 25.
00:02:02.600 So it's like two years.
00:02:03.520 Yeah.
00:02:03.700 But what is the timeline for that?
00:02:05.720 Exactly.
00:02:06.300 Well, I just, you know, I'm, I'm Catholic, so I don't believe in divorce.
00:02:10.300 So I actually, I think it's like for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse and sickness
00:02:14.940 and in health.
00:02:15.620 So I don't, I don't believe in divorce.
00:02:17.620 So if somebody was manipulating you every single day.
00:02:20.320 Well, women are usually the more manipulative ones anyway.
00:02:22.560 I think your dad, I think we would all be in a better place if our dads helped us pick
00:02:26.920 husbands because we don't pick very well.
00:02:29.360 All right.
00:02:30.160 My dad's not here.
00:02:31.220 Yeah.
00:02:31.360 My dad's not here.
00:02:32.140 Yeah.
00:02:32.360 My dad's not here either.
00:02:34.620 No.
00:02:35.180 Are we going to do a say-off because then we can ask our dad.
00:02:37.720 Well, if you want to, if you want to talk about the dads, then like the moms picked the
00:02:41.460 dad, you're, you guys' dad.
00:02:43.160 So it's like, if they're, I think we need the dads involved.
00:02:46.240 How many of you grew up in a nuclear family, like a mom and dad at home before they pass
00:02:50.340 away, before they pass away.
00:02:51.540 Okay.
00:02:52.200 Two of you?
00:02:52.700 Okay.
00:02:53.320 All right.
00:02:53.860 That's a lot.
00:02:54.520 I come from a broken home.
00:02:55.560 That's actually really good at all.
00:02:56.920 I had to pretty much build what I had in regards to what my preferences could be.
00:03:05.180 Yeah.
00:03:05.620 Yeah.
00:03:05.860 And that's really, that's sad.
00:03:07.280 And I think, again, because it'll go to our parents, right?
00:03:10.820 And a lot of our parents didn't pick well either.
00:03:13.140 Like a lot of our moms picked them.
00:03:13.920 Well, I wouldn't say that I didn't have that type of guidance.
00:03:16.760 I mean, I definitely have that relationship with my dad where I could bring him.
00:03:20.000 I did bring my dad to, or bring my husband to my dad at the time, you know?
00:03:25.340 And your dad was like, this is a great choice.
00:03:27.200 He thought he was great.
00:03:28.360 He thought he was.
00:03:29.460 And he probably was, but into the PTSD and everything else.
00:03:32.180 Right.
00:03:32.440 And there's a lot of factors that play into it, you know?
00:03:34.900 And so he just started drinking and then just became an alcoholic in two years?
00:03:39.560 He was drinking.
00:03:40.400 Because how long were you married?
00:03:41.820 We were together, we were together for a year.
00:03:44.660 We were married for two years.
00:03:47.120 Okay.
00:03:47.560 So we were together for all in all three years.
00:03:49.860 Okay.
00:03:50.060 And good job for getting the fuck out of there.
00:03:52.320 Thank you.
00:03:52.920 Thank you.
00:03:53.220 You're welcome.
00:03:53.460 You know, at the end of the day, too, he's, it's, he's a great person.
00:03:58.080 Like, I'm not knocking him on that at all.
00:04:00.580 Like, that's one thing, that's one of the reasons why I loved him.
00:04:04.780 Everyone on this earth needs to put their own happiness first above everything.
00:04:08.760 Wrong.
00:04:08.900 I think you got to put your happiness last.
00:04:11.120 If you are, how can you pour from an empty cup?
00:04:13.940 I think that's just nonsense, feminist garbage.
00:04:17.120 No, it's not.
00:04:17.560 Basically.
00:04:18.020 It's for people.
00:04:18.500 No, no, because you're going to be unhappy in marriage at some point.
00:04:22.840 You think our great grandmothers stayed together for 50 years, 60 years, thinking about themselves.
00:04:30.440 You know how I could tell the generational switch?
00:04:32.680 You can hear it in the music.
00:04:34.240 We got the Taylor Swift generation, which is I'm a victim, blah, blah, blah.
00:04:38.680 Where, do you remember, do you remember the song Jolene?
00:04:41.060 You remember the song Jolene?
00:04:41.860 Yeah, I love that song.
00:04:42.940 No, no, but that's how women used to react.
00:04:44.980 Please don't take my man.
00:04:46.000 Please don't take my man.
00:04:47.500 Because she was worried that her man was cheating.
00:04:51.300 And instead of keying his car, which, you know, Carrie Underwood keying his car, she, no, but she stayed with them.
00:04:57.760 I heard her talk about that.
00:04:59.700 And it's like it was just a completely different mindset where she's like, I can't live without this guy.
00:05:04.460 Where now it's like women, we just care about ourselves and our happiness.
00:05:07.840 And if the outcomes were good, then why aren't families together?
00:05:11.500 And, you know, I feel like social media has a lot to do with that, too, because there's always like somebody on the back burner or someone we've been eyeing
00:05:16.840 or somebody else who we know we could get somebody together.
00:05:19.600 Someone that's been liking your pictures for the last two years and are just waiting for their chance.
00:05:23.520 Yeah, it's so easy to just get on a dating app and find a replacement.
00:05:26.260 That's the outlier.
00:05:27.320 That's the guy friend that none of you want to be with, but he's a nice guy.
00:05:31.140 And he's the guy waiting on the outside, the guy that's liking all your pictures.
00:05:34.780 Hey, oh, but he's my guy friend.
00:05:35.720 He's the nice guy.
00:05:36.400 Oh, that's not my guy friend.
00:05:37.720 I don't have to follow him.
00:05:38.720 Raise of hands.
00:05:39.540 I don't think it was your bad guy.
00:05:40.960 The nice guy always fucking minutes last in this generation.
00:05:44.320 Raise of hands.
00:05:45.180 Who here has been in a relationship and had a backup plan?
00:05:49.280 Raise your hand.
00:05:50.560 Just ever in general?
00:05:51.640 Ever.
00:05:52.020 Ever.
00:05:52.960 My relationships last like three months.
00:05:54.540 I have never gotten into a relationship thinking that it was going to end.
00:06:00.900 So I've never had a backup plan, but when I found out that they did something, I could
00:06:05.360 have either chose to leave it or chose to get back.
00:06:08.320 And that's the only kind of backup plan that I've had.
00:06:10.720 And never initially.
00:06:11.880 Have you ever dated a guy friend?
00:06:14.780 No.
00:06:14.960 Yeah, I have.
00:06:15.640 Yeah?
00:06:16.120 Yeah?
00:06:16.720 I've never dated a guy friend.
00:06:17.780 If you're a friend in my eyes.
00:06:19.600 I did, yes.
00:06:19.700 If you're a friend for life.
00:06:20.940 And I didn't want to.
00:06:22.140 It was a shock.
00:06:22.240 It got snuck into me because my best friend had just committed suicide.
00:06:26.340 Yeah, it's all right.
00:06:27.600 My best friend had just committed suicide.
00:06:29.500 So I felt very vulnerable.
00:06:31.980 And that's how my best guy friend got to sneak in there.
00:06:34.780 Okay.
00:06:35.220 Well, that's not a guy friend, though.
00:06:37.700 My guy friend?
00:06:38.240 No, no, no.
00:06:39.340 Wait, wait, wait.
00:06:40.180 Hold on.
00:06:40.760 Let me tell you.
00:06:41.300 We're going to talk about a guy friend.
00:06:42.200 No, no.
00:06:42.560 That's not a guy friend.
00:06:43.020 If I knew him four years and we didn't do anything, and then when my friend passed away
00:06:46.940 and he was being there for me, then he kind of...
00:06:49.380 But when that guy...
00:06:50.980 You know why you...
00:06:51.380 He was always thinking about that in the back of his mind, though.
00:06:53.460 But he was my friend for four years.
00:06:55.140 He doesn't discredit the friendship.
00:06:56.620 He never got to tell me.
00:06:56.800 Do you know why they're guy friends?
00:06:58.760 I think that if you're going to be a guy friend, you put it in.
00:07:01.120 Hey, no.
00:07:01.780 No, do you know why they're guy friends?
00:07:03.120 We never went on a...
00:07:03.960 Why?
00:07:04.760 Okay, they're probably waiting for the chance, but we never went on a date.
00:07:07.480 They never touched me.
00:07:08.440 I have a story.
00:07:08.620 I never slept with it.
00:07:09.480 Because you told them they're their guy friends.
00:07:11.440 I did.
00:07:12.160 Yeah.
00:07:12.880 That's the only reason.
00:07:13.920 She gets it.
00:07:14.540 I see the nod.
00:07:15.740 They're always waiting.
00:07:16.740 And so as a guy, as a guy, if I'm dating a gal, oh, I got five guy friends, I'm like,
00:07:21.240 I put the brakes on.
00:07:22.280 Right.
00:07:22.560 I'm like, wait a minute.
00:07:23.480 You got a bunch of guys on set.
00:07:24.840 So women, pretty women always have a backup plan.
00:07:27.680 And pretty women are never single.
00:07:29.760 Women nowadays, it used to be.
00:07:31.400 Nowadays, women always...
00:07:33.000 If I looked at your IGs and your inbox, your DMs, you got backup plans.
00:07:38.320 You just don't know it.
00:07:39.180 But you know you have backup plans.
00:07:41.120 You know what I'm saying?
00:07:42.360 You just don't know it.
00:07:43.700 Check this out.
00:07:44.100 Most men, they don't get DMs from chicks.
00:07:47.020 Right.
00:07:48.060 Hold on.
00:07:48.840 Because I've been checking my ex-boyfriend's fucking phone, and it'd be all kind of DMs.
00:07:53.420 That's because all my friends is in their DMs, too.
00:07:56.320 But you hear what I'm saying?
00:07:57.300 You hear what I'm saying?
00:07:58.280 Like, you guys get body part pics.
00:08:01.760 You know what I get?
00:08:02.520 It's a joke.
00:08:03.160 It's a joke.
00:08:04.020 I've made fun of cats, so I get pussy pics all the time.
00:08:06.920 I get cats, but it's cats.
00:08:09.580 So I get people sending me cat jokes because I made a joke about single women, angel numbers,
00:08:14.680 horoscopes, and cats and box wine.
00:08:17.140 I think they're so unattractive women sending dick pics.
00:08:19.980 Yeah.
00:08:20.300 We don't like this.
00:08:21.080 Oh, my gosh.
00:08:21.780 We hate it.
00:08:22.560 But that's your backup plan.
00:08:23.700 I feel like when they send me a shirtless pic.
00:08:24.820 Can I just say this for anybody who's listening?
00:08:27.360 Like, girls only like dick pics when we ask for that dick.
00:08:30.740 If you ever send an unsolicited dick, there's no woman.
00:08:34.560 Like, I don't want to say no woman ever.
00:08:36.500 I'm going to say 10% because I'm 10% of weirdos.
00:08:39.420 They're like, oh, my God.
00:08:40.700 Thank you for that dick pic.
00:08:42.220 Yay!
00:08:42.540 Yeah, the thing about it, if you send a random dick pic to us, it's very perverted.
00:08:47.940 It doesn't seem attractive.
00:08:49.280 Okay, now you know how men think.
00:08:51.460 Men are fun, football, food, and fucking.
00:08:55.180 We're simple.
00:08:56.140 Yeah.
00:08:56.380 We're simple creatures of habit, right?
00:08:58.160 Men are always looking at women as a sexual object.
00:09:01.320 That's why she said the perfect body.
00:09:02.760 Right?
00:09:03.120 That's why she said that.
00:09:04.260 Guys don't care about your degree.
00:09:06.040 Right.
00:09:06.300 Guys don't care about your money.
00:09:07.160 Now, if they're simping and they're like, oh, she's going to be my sugar mama.
00:09:11.380 But guys, first look at the woman.
00:09:13.400 She's hot.
00:09:14.080 Whatever's in the desire of the guy, sexually, what he likes, and he's going to look at her.
00:09:19.060 Now, looks is also objective.
00:09:20.960 There's objective truth to that, what beauty is, but not subjective, but objective.
00:09:25.020 So guys are like, okay, we think with our testosterone.
00:09:29.200 We were put here to breed, procreate.
00:09:31.680 Women look at a guy and they go for the resources, not money.
00:09:34.780 When I say resources, you're going to have children.
00:09:36.700 You want the best outcome and probability for your family to have longevity.
00:09:41.260 So you're not going to date no scrub, scrub, right?
00:09:45.460 That's not your deal.