Woman Claims That Men Are Emotionally Unstable
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
226.12297
Summary
In this episode, we talk about Emotional Intelligence and how men and women are emotionally unstable. We talk about how men are emotionally unavailable and why it's important to be emotionally available to your partner. We also talk about the importance of emotional intelligence in a relationship.
Transcript
00:00:00.000
Yeah, we do need emotional support because a lot of men these days don't realize they need emotional support.
00:00:08.000
Who do you think is more emotionally unstable, men or women?
00:00:12.720
I would have said women before, but I feel like maybe.
00:00:41.720
Yeah, men don't really like to show how they're feeling compared to women.
00:00:45.620
But don't you think that's just how men process emotions?
00:00:47.780
Like, they process emotions differently than women?
00:00:53.800
Because we always make it sound like a bad thing that men don't, like, talk to each other or, like, talk to us about their emotions.
00:01:00.000
But I just think they process emotions differently.
00:01:05.540
But it's like sometimes we try to make them into women by being, like, process the emotions, like I process the emotions.
00:01:10.900
I think they need to, because there is a lot of men that have mental health at the moment.
00:01:15.180
So I think they do need to be able to talk about their feelings.
00:01:24.120
Honestly, because women throw stuff in your face later.
00:01:28.760
And then what they do is they'll throw something in your face and then they'll add lies to it.
00:01:34.040
So it'll be kind of true, but kind of not true.
00:01:37.680
I mean, I didn't say 100% of women, but I'm just saying if I had a balance of probabilities and I had 10 guys and 10 girls, I would say that women are more likely to do that.
00:01:45.880
The other problem is I don't think women find it very attractive when guys are emotionally vulnerable, to be honest.
00:01:51.780
I mean, I think, because when I was growing up, it was said, you know, people were starting to say, oh, you know, just be open with your feelings, be vulnerable, be emotional with her and everything like that.
00:01:59.340
But actually the reality out there is that I don't think women really, you know.
00:02:04.720
For example, me personally, I would want a guy to open up to me and let me know how they're feeling.
00:02:13.760
But you see, that's why it's, like, confusing to men because we'll be like, be open with us, but not too open.
00:02:19.340
So if you want to cry every day, put that daily depression away.
00:02:24.440
So it's kind of like at what point with each girl is emotionally available enough or emotionally open enough?
00:02:35.440
Because if I was to be in a relationship with a guy and we've gotten to that level where we're comfortable to open up to each other, then I don't think it would be an issue for him to, if he was to cry to me every night, you know.
00:02:46.620
Maybe there could be something I can do to help him.
00:02:54.860
I mean, that would be too much for a man or a woman, though.
00:02:57.500
And I feel like, realistically, a man's not going to cry to you for a year, you know.
00:03:03.880
If it's a man that's crying for a year, that's a problem.
00:03:05.760
If it's a woman that's crying for a year, that's a problem.
00:03:07.620
I think a month straight, that'd be too much for me.
00:03:13.080
But being real, it's not, is it really, like, to think of a guy in that manner, that's not really sexy, is it?
00:03:26.240
You've been together for a long amount of time.
00:03:30.200
But I'm not meeting you on day one and you're telling me about your emotional self.
00:03:35.240
And I was put off and I didn't want to speak to him.
00:03:38.920
You can't tell me on day one what's going on emotionally because I'm not even telling you and I'm the woman.
00:03:48.920
See, I feel like this is why guys don't want to open up.
00:03:51.500
No, but that's different when she's sitting on the first day.
00:03:57.600
Why would you be so comfortable to open up someone?
00:04:02.140
So every girl's different with what they'll tolerate.
00:04:04.560
So why are they going to play, like, roll the dice when they could just not deal with it at all?
00:04:08.200
I think, again, the balance of probabilities, if you had 10 men and 10 women lined up.
00:04:13.740
I mean, it seems to me that women, like, they want the guy to be the leader.
00:04:19.880
Not the rock as in the rock, but they want the guy to be their rock.
00:04:23.060
And if the dude is, I mean, obviously, he's not going to be crying every night.
00:04:25.720
But, you know, if the dude is, like, emoting the whole time and he's looking to her for support excessively,
00:04:30.520
that's going to, it just seems to me it's going to put her off.
00:04:33.780
And there is a school of thought in the sort of men's online self-help space that basically says,
00:04:39.760
you know, you should not be vulnerable in front of the woman that you're with
00:04:41.900
because she's going to lose attraction for you.
00:04:43.780
And if she loses attraction for you, then that's the, that's, you know, it's game over there, basically.
00:04:51.540
I think that's too extreme, though, because it's like.
00:04:54.860
Yeah, it may well be, but I'm just saying that there's that school.
00:05:00.000
So if you need a bit of hard time, it's like, I wouldn't like to, oh, yeah, don't come to me.
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Just go and fix your stuff and then come to me.
00:05:07.560
I think, I think, I think some guys, though, I've never been married, so I can't speak to this personally.
00:05:11.340
But I think some guys, you know, you feel like you meet this, you meet the woman and you guys are in a relationship.
00:05:16.320
And you think, oh, now I can, now finally I can relax.
00:05:18.800
Now I can, now I've got somebody who I can talk to and she can help me with my feelings and blah, blah, blah.
00:05:23.900
But the problem is when you then do that, that can sometimes give the woman the ick, you know, and the woman's like, oh, wait a minute.
00:05:30.600
This isn't the strong, you know, stable oak that I signed up for.
00:05:40.680
I think it matters about timing and duration, depending on how long you guys have been together for.
00:05:45.480
Depends on when you need to open up, because my partner opens up to me, but that took a long time.
00:05:49.720
And even when he does, it's limited information.
00:05:55.040
Would it be attractive if your partner cried to you all the time?
00:06:05.120
But I always let him know that, you know, I'm supposed to be your safe haven.
00:06:09.140
You know, your partner is supposed to be that safe space.
00:06:11.660
But does it mean crying to me from Monday to Friday to Sunday?
00:06:17.280
But, you know, that I'm supposed to be your safe space.
00:06:21.680
So, I'm curious for you, because you said you want a guy to meet your standards.
00:06:39.000
I'm not specific about numbers, because I actually don't, like, I'm not on a salary.
00:06:44.840
So, I don't really know how people manoeuvre, but he needs to be able to look after me,
00:06:49.440
pay the bills, pay everything, and then also give me money on top.
00:06:53.740
Not that I won't do the same for him, but I'm just saying what he needs to be able to do.
00:06:55.600
Wait, so you want him to pay 100% of the bill and give you, how much money does he have
00:07:01.560
He just needs to give me money, like, if I want to buy something.
00:07:05.700
For example, I might want to buy a Dior bag this month.
00:07:09.540
If they start from about 2, 3K, then I might need that.
00:07:17.980
I can definitely buy it by myself, but sometimes things feel nicer when it's a gift from your
00:07:27.520
I don't think your boyfriend's supposed to take care of you.
00:07:30.860
You know, he doesn't need to take care of you, but it's nice if he does.
00:07:34.280
I like luxury items, so that's something that I like.
00:07:37.780
If you go to Walthamstow Market, you can get them for $29.
00:07:43.520
But if you're the one who likes the luxury items, why does he have to pay for it?
00:07:46.860
No, I'm not saying I won't buy it myself, but this is the thing.
00:07:51.180
I'm just saying that he needs to make enough whereby there's capacity and there's room
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where he can afford to give me money for a bag if that's what I want to get at that
00:08:03.900
Even on my part as well, there needs to be spare money where we can spend it luxuriously.
00:08:12.380
He gets a loyal, loving woman who will eventually have his kids take care of the house.
00:08:20.080
If he likes gifts, he can get a gift as well because there's money there.
00:08:27.920
So how much money do you think that would cost?
00:08:31.900
Because that's what some people make in a month.
00:08:35.520
I mean, based on people around me, definitely 100, 100K plus salary for sure.
00:08:46.180
I know it's not that high, but personally, the people I'm around to make that amount of
00:08:58.920
So then do you think you're in the top 5% of women?
00:09:10.980
I mean, men like me, but I don't know if I'm in the top 5%.
00:09:20.360
I look for someone who can match me in terms of like, for example, I drive.
00:09:32.980
And then on top of that, he needs to be at least like 5'10".
00:09:40.600
And when it comes down to money, I don't really have a figure on that.