JustPearlyThings - Woman Describes what it’s like being a House wife

00:00:00.000 I think I could I think in reality that I would have to I don't think it would be easy to

00:00:09.880 but I would work at it because I don't like especially with the way it is to live now

00:00:16.800 I would not leave an opportunity to make more money because my man doesn't but I will always

00:00:26.440 strive to respect him and leave him to do the providing so essentially if I bought more money

00:00:35.380 into the house that's just more spending money in my opinion I would allow him like I would leave him

00:00:42.380 to his role basically yeah let me ask you this what is it like being a stay-at-home mom well

00:00:49.260 do you know what it's it's fine it's good because to me I like raising my children

00:00:58.080 is my priority and looking after my home is my priority everything else is extra

00:01:04.840 but as long as I can give myself the space to do the extra I'm I'm happier that way if my whole life

00:01:15.940 was just at home with the kids and maintaining my house I don't know how happy I would be

00:01:22.460 only because I had a lifestyle before getting married that I had I liked and so I think here

00:01:29.420 I have the best of both worlds but I think and actually I'm confused are you not a stay-at-home

00:01:35.600 mom I just I am a stay-at-home mom but I I do bits on the side so okay I yeah so um I'm I'm a

00:01:43.300 step-mom coach yeah but my house doesn't depend on the money I make all the money I make it's fun

00:01:49.020 money so you work from home yes I'm I'm yeah I'm always at home yeah unless I come out to to do a

00:01:56.300 speaking gig or something like that yeah okay so yeah I would strive to respect but he will always

00:02:02.340 be the provider and I'm okay with that whatever that looks like okay and just like you said also

00:02:08.060 to her you know how you were saying um you can have a man on like a normal wage and still be a

00:02:15.400 stay-at-home mom he doesn't have to be earning thousands that is very true like I essentially

00:02:20.760 what we say in our culture is cut your coat according to your size whatever my husband makes 1.00

00:02:25.940 our life I will maintain our life according to what he makes and as long as our necessities are

00:02:32.060 are met there's really there shouldn't be a complaint I like you yeah thank you like you too

00:02:39.600 um okay so could you respect a man that you make more than yes the answer is yes however I want to

00:02:49.200 see him being ambitious he has to have a plan he has to be someone that gets up no no that's not

00:02:54.960 that's not the guy you're dating no no that's like that's like the women trying to change men 1.00

00:03:00.720 no he's he's making let's say what's whatever the average salary is here 35 000 pounds a year

00:03:06.960 he will always he will always be making 35 000 a year okay this isn't build a man but what kind

00:03:12.720 of person is he the kind of guy that wakes up and plays video games and just he goes he's the kind

00:03:16.820 that he's he goes to work okay and makes 35 000 a year and then comes home sometimes he plays

00:03:22.800 video games sometimes he doesn't the same way you know it's like they we can complain about the

00:03:27.740 video games but how many girls are on social media for hours we're just as bad no you know what you're 1.00

00:03:33.500 right I think I could because I've been in that situation and I've been very happy with that okay why

00:03:43.240 aren't you with him he's in Australia oh so this was recent yeah okay I don't know what he makes it's

00:03:50.920 none of my business but I know he's not like the richest guy in the world but he's lovely and he

00:03:55.440 actually made me feel safe in every way so how do you know that you earn more than him I don't but

00:04:00.300 if I did I'd be okay with it because he was that wonderful okay okay so yeah sounds like you need

00:04:07.740 to go back to Australia finish your healing well that was the plan not for him though but I would

00:04:15.880 like to see him again 100% oh do you think you're healed enough though um wait I'm confused so when

00:04:23.260 was the okay so it wasn't the the old guy eight months ago yeah that was in June okay and then when

00:04:29.440 did the the Australia guy come in literally this month oh oh and he left to Australia no I was in

00:04:36.300 Australia she went away to Australia for six weeks see this is why when men it's like clear 1.00

00:04:41.700 everything the guys say so this is why when guys say like you're healing they just think you I mean

00:04:47.580 they don't have that thing yeah you're just sleeping with other dudes um no because it wasn't quite

00:04:53.500 like that it took me a long time to even go on a date with someone like it wasn't until I went to

00:04:59.180 Australia I even considered that I was just completely right but you told me you were healing earlier in

00:05:04.900 Australia yeah and now you're telling me you met the guy in Australia it's no it's no hate to you

00:05:09.180 I'm just no it's fine I'm just observing he's a healer that if I'm honest because I said that to him

00:05:16.380 because he was going through his own thing which I won't discuss on here that's his business and I

00:05:20.960 was going through mine and I said to him for whatever reason I walked into your life and you

00:05:25.880 walked into mine because it was an accident you know I was walking down the street oh you met him on

00:05:30.240 the street what happened was I just come back from the gym I was in a bad mood I smelled I was

00:05:35.100 covered in sweat I was spotty I was like you know on my period so I was like bloated and I did not

00:05:40.180 look appealing at all and this stunning man walks towards me and when I fancy someone I get shy

00:05:45.900 and I just look down and he starts talking to me and I'm just like in my head I'm like why today

00:05:51.540 why today and then he's like you should smile you know it looks good on you and then we were just

00:05:56.720 talking and um I felt really good around this person he made me feel safe there's something

00:06:06.160 about his energy that just made me feel really good so you were able to trust him it was more

00:06:13.500 I know that sounds wild because even I look back and I think how did I do that

00:06:18.140 to an extent yeah because I said to him what are you doing later let's go out

00:06:22.040 it was me that initiated it and then when he went in to kiss me he said he asked my permission he's

00:06:27.900 this is after the date he said can I kiss you you know he was asking my permission he was respectful

00:06:32.920 of my boundaries he was you know but you know how you said that you were going through your stuff and

00:06:37.340 he was going through his stuff you said that about your ex the one who was obviously dealing with

00:06:42.200 anorexia you said um he his traumas and your traumas like were able to go together and now you're

00:06:48.400 saying basically the same being this guy yeah yeah you've it's because I'm aware I'm not a perfect

00:06:53.880 person but don't you think that you said you're you're healing right yeah if you're healing and

00:06:58.800 then you're now meeting this guy and you're acknowledging the fact that you're going through

00:07:02.600 your ish he's going through his ish and we've meshed together you're acknowledging the fact that you're

00:07:07.460 entering the same pattern again just because the guy is you know but it's always when you're not

00:07:12.340 looking for someone they just pop up and then you click I can't explain it but they're not denying

00:07:16.580 what you're saying though you're right but don't don't you think you should just not that you

00:07:20.360 should but I guess what I'm saying is if you want to heal to have a fruitful relationship that's not

00:07:28.860 going to be toxic that's not going to have any of the repeated patterns just have that discipline

00:07:34.560 in yourself and be like actually you know what I do really like you as a person but let me get to a

00:07:38.640 place where I know that I'm strong with in who I am I'm not dealing with the same whatever from the

00:07:44.600 last person and bringing that into the new person because all that's going to happen is yeah you're

00:07:49.080 going to be in the same predicament yeah it's just going to be a different story I wouldn't say it's

00:07:53.100 a personal thing on me I'm definitely strong in who I am but you're right I'm definitely not over

00:07:58.260 what happened and I'm I appreciate what you said thank you I just think that any professional

00:08:02.600 healing I don't think self-healing is not healing but how do how I have it says that you run away

00:08:08.480 to Australia but you can't run away from yourself yeah you know what that's right that's true 0.70

00:08:13.600 because I caught myself crying in a new city about the same shit sorry ish have you been to therapy 0.99

00:08:19.340 yeah is it a is it a male or a female therapist it's a male oh wow yeah no luck he's amazing 0.99

00:08:27.480 no honestly he would no he's he's so he's so sad about it like I'm still yeah but how do you turn that

00:08:35.180 off like I feel like you need acceptance first you need to accept that it's happening you need to

00:08:40.400 accept how you're feeling I have accepted it it's just because I'm speaking about it on a public

00:08:44.820 platform do you still like look up his social media stuff I tell you from the day that I broke up with

00:08:49.800 him I've never stalked him I'm too proud I would never do that are you still having counseling

00:08:53.960 I don't want to answer that okay but you're right there is more work to be done I'm aware of that it's

00:09:01.380 just because for me to come on a public platform and speak about it it's like quite raw for me still

00:09:06.220 do you know what it is sometimes when you're not ready yourself the universe just keeps giving you

00:09:11.140 the same person in different forms that's so true you're attracting the same kind to yourself so

00:09:17.240 you need to be alone and happy within yourself and then put something that you obviously think is for

00:09:24.080 you and good for you will come but you're not ready so that's why the world isn't bringing you

00:09:29.320 someone I don't I think right now your subconscious is just is saying actually I need to be back in

00:09:34.500 something I need to have that no because I wasn't even looking for that I do I love being single

00:09:39.480 and I really love who I am I said her subconscious no because I wasn't looking for him I was walking

00:09:45.840 down the street minding my own business but you told him to go meet you at the bar because I enjoyed

00:09:49.440 his company I'm in Australia you're just contradicting yourself how did you know his company by him just

00:09:55.760 saying hi though do you know what I mean because I felt good in his presence and I'm in a new city

00:10:00.780 and across in the night you know that that feeling that you felt that safe feeling yeah did you have

00:10:05.580 that with this the last person who was your friend and you just had that feeling and you was like oh

00:10:09.240 I like this yeah yeah so you haven't actually gotten over that yeah no you're right that that that same

00:10:15.640 feeling that same kick that you got from the last one you're getting from this you know what it

00:10:19.220 sounds like you're addicted to that feeling yeah yeah you know what you're probably right can I ask you

00:10:24.000 can choose not to answer yeah yeah personal but before both of these have you suffered with stuff

00:10:31.320 within yourself and then you're kind of using these yeah to patch that up yeah okay probably most likely

00:10:37.900 but that's the first step is acknowledgement yeah

00:10:41.840 okay where where were we in the room with the money question okay go ahead if my man

00:10:51.720 was making um less than me um yeah yeah significantly less than I was earning more

00:11:00.760 he would still be my man probably it doesn't really matter to me I love the person for the person if it

00:11:06.460 stopped me from doing things and living the life that I wanted to live then I'm not with the right

00:11:12.660 person if I love someone I love them for them I'm not really materialistic about stuff like that

00:11:16.720 is there a minimum what figure yeah I mean because but yeah let's be honest let's be honest

00:11:23.200 if he's unemployed if he's unemployed for two years you're out yeah probably and I hope you would be

00:11:28.880 yeah if he's unemployed for two years I'm out but so there has to be like a minimum what would you

00:11:33.520 roughly say it is I couldn't I don't know what people earn and not shift work I couldn't tell you

00:11:39.340 but how much you'd like him to bring him a week or a month not shift work like what would you like

00:11:43.580 him to bring him a month yeah in a month two grand three grand four grand remember you you listen if

00:11:51.340 he says quit whatever the whatever the amount that sustains us to like be happy but I don't need like

00:11:57.380 big flashy things to be happy we'd be happy living in the caravan

00:12:00.460 I guess what about what about the box on the corner over here there's someone there's there's

00:12:08.880 like a couple people in these boxes over there are you down there in it yeah yeah literally there's a

00:12:13.960 homeless shelter down the road they got this box out in the roads I've seen I don't think I could but

00:12:19.360 money doesn't determine like the person for me if that makes sense I don't know if that answers your

00:12:25.760 question I know there's no minimum like come on no minimum I don't know figures like that I don't

00:12:34.000 know what people earn for you what like to to have all your necessities met do you live on your own

00:12:42.060 yeah I live on my own okay so you know what it takes to sustain you yeah do you want him to be a

00:12:47.320 provider basically because if you do you know you have to know your minimum surely surely unless you

00:12:54.180 don't mind providing for yourself then it doesn't matter at all yeah can we not come together was

00:13:00.520 that not an option I'm earning less than me yeah so I'm saying at what point do you respect his

00:13:07.900 decision-making so like if he said quit your job tomorrow I have a plan I'll listen but if he's a bum 1.00

00:13:14.740 and hasn't worked in two years why the hell would you do yeah I would definitely not listen so so there's

00:13:19.100 a minimum point right yeah there's a minimum point where and it doesn't have to be exact you know just

00:13:24.360 just a rough figure where you would listen to what he says

00:13:27.100 I want to see I couldn't tell you I couldn't tell you I forgot okay what about 30 30 000 pounds would

00:13:36.820 you listen is that the minimum people earn in the UK just go off like what it takes to sustain yourself

00:13:42.900 and then could you live on a thousand pound a month if he's bringing in like between three and

00:13:48.700 four thousand three and four thousand I think yeah that's fine a year no a month oh yeah that's nice

00:13:54.740 that's fine it's more than nice for some people I like it yeah okay um what about you would you date

00:13:59.880 a guy that makes less than you I would date a guy that um yeah I would but he would have to be able to 0.98

00:14:07.640 like pay the bills and what not what's your what's your minimum um I would say four grand

00:14:13.740 because that's like enough to like pay bills rent or mortgage um car note that sort of stuff okay

00:14:21.480 what about you um I think I would respect him um I don't believe you why don't you believe me

00:14:33.700 um oh gosh I don't what's your minimum okay my minimum I'll be comfortable with let's say

00:14:45.980 three k a month I think that's okay okay to bring in um I think it's all down to I don't know if it

00:14:53.120 kind of relates to the question that you're asking I think it's just all down to ambition

00:14:56.100 if he's a bum no she said no no that's what he's gonna this is the problem with women she said that's 1.00

00:15:01.660 he's gonna be a high earner one day no he's not

00:15:05.280 there is no potential here he goes to job he's happy at his job he loves it he loves it it doesn't

00:15:16.400 mean he's lazy maybe he's like a I don't know do police officers yeah postman do police officers

00:15:21.300 a manager at mcdonald's and he loves his job yeah oh god I mean I worked at mcdonald's it's all right

00:15:28.280 I think my approach generally is a job is a job as long as it's making you comfortable then I will

00:15:35.700 respect that full stop yeah I think that's just it oh yeah but I mean in terms of like respect I mean

00:15:40.740 if we're living together and we have a family and I'm into like respect all your decision making

00:15:45.620 if you're not earning at least to cover what it takes I mean it's like okay if you're dating a guy

00:15:52.020 that makes 250 000 a year pounds or whatever it is here um if he says quit it's when

00:15:59.040 I get yeah that's so much funny it's when like when do you want me to but at some point like it

00:16:05.720 switches to where you give him more control because if a bum tells you to do that you're not going to 1.00

00:16:11.220 do it yeah if it hasn't worked in two years he says quit you're like what I think we can all agree

00:16:16.080 on that though yeah yeah which we all agree on but like I'm just asking roughly around what point

00:16:21.220 is it that you respect his decision making yeah four grand a month like roughly four grand a month

00:16:26.580 okay such a good question these are things that you wouldn't even ask yourself oh yes it's I'm

00:16:32.560 actually kind of glad that I'm here and I mean if you want to get married you kind of have to do the

00:16:36.260 math yeah because it also depends how many kids you want yeah so like how much does each kid cost

00:16:41.400 yeah you need to think about these things while entering a relationship especially if you're

00:16:45.120 going to merge into one I feel like women do don't they yeah like I see a man exactly like 0.97

00:16:52.000 what would our wedding look like yeah what area are we going to move to and the man is just right

00:16:57.560 there looking at the state yeah but we're five years into it she's like oh today's a nice day she's like

00:17:03.240 we could have two kids the dog the white picket fence is there and you think about their career ladder

00:17:11.040 as well all of it yeah 100% and you look on glass door I think women like to fantasize a lot oh yeah 1.00

00:17:17.200 and think way into the future it's good because that's how they help men like blossom like that's

00:17:24.240 how women are helpless to men because men are very like and women are like oh but you could do it this

00:17:31.360 way and this way and like they flower the seeds that make it grow women have to like think outside 0.93

00:17:37.040 the box because men are very a matter of fact which is good and that's why the woman and the man works 1.00

00:17:43.040 together yeah many of you know I was just banned on tick tock and we are demonetized on a daily basis

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JustPearlyThings - March 23, 2023

Woman Describes what it’s like being a House wife

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