Woman Gets A Reality Check On Toxic Masculinity
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
241.55441
Summary
In this episode, we discuss toxic masculinity and how it affects men and women. We discuss how toxic masculinity is portrayed in media, social media, music and society. We talk about the difference between masculinity and femininity and how we need to embrace our feminine energy.
Transcript
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It's like, after you have a baby, I've heard, like,
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that's when men are most likely, like, to step out on you
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because you can't have sex for a certain amount of months
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So it's like, if the guy's not really, like, I don't know.
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He ain't got energy to be doing that in those first six weeks.
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It's such a small percentage of men that even have girls coming to them like that
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Like, it's harder than you think for a guy to get laid.
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but it is just the guys that women are choosing.
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It's easier for women to get that side of things, I'd imagine, isn't it, really?
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Do you guys think that women romanticize toxic relationships?
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You remember what I said earlier about having someone who's not necessarily a good person,
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I can't like, there's a certain kind of appeal to people like that.
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And I feel like, again, with the whole like, oh, I don't know, you can't do this,
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Sometimes it feels good to hear, but sometimes it's just a bit of a piss take, you know?
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I know, but it's like, obviously now I wouldn't, but my younger self would be like, oh, so
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this guy really cares, like enough to tell me A, B, C, D, if that makes sense to you.
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And I'm not trying to offend you here, but I feel like women that like that often don't
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So they're almost looking for that father sort of authority figure.
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Also, I feel like social media has a big part to play in that because I've noticed a trend
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where on social media will say, oh, this is what women are into now.
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And then I'll look around me and at females around me and that's what they're into.
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And like I said earlier, I think there's a way for a man to be authoritative and all these
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But what is portrayed on social media and even in music and everything is that a man
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And then that's why it's romanticized is because everyone's like, oh, everyone around me is
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It must mean whatever they're saying that it means sort of thing.
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Um, so I feel like it stems from a man who does not know himself and he does not know
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how to regulate his emotions because men are very logical.
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By the end of the day, they still have emotions and they do not know how to regulate that,
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What do you mean they don't know how to regulate it?
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So a man knows innately, in my opinion, that he is meant to protect and provide and that
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he is meant to be the head in some kind of way.
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I feel like that's an innate thing that a man knows.
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However, when, um, you are told that that is the only thing that you must be, and then
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you're kind of, um, other emotions, emotions that make you human, are kind of shunned.
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What do you mean by emotions that make you human?
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Like, um, to be overtly happy or when you said, when you said the word simp, like to feel
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like an emotion that is like, oh, I want to feel soft for this person and all these kind
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Being soft, like everything is yin and yang and men and women, they both have masculine and feminine
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And you need to embrace both of those, but not obviously too much masculinity in a female
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Don't you think you're asking men to emote like women?
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What I'm saying is that you have to understand that there, as a, as a man, you're going to
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have a little bit of feminine energy, even if it's 1%, 20%, 30%.
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As long as you are able to fulfill your role as a man, which is to provide and protect
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If you have feminine energy, if you're going to sit there and I want to be, I want to do
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some dumb feminine shit with you and you're going to sit there and allow me to do it.
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If I want to do your nails and do your hair and do your makeup, we can do that behind closed
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If you, and I feel like that shows how set in your masculinity.
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So for example, a man feels angry because a woman is undermining his authority, but he's
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not putting out that authority in the correct way.
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So then he unleashes the anger out on her and starts blaming her and all these kinds of
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I believe that, um, a man should make sure that his woman looks presentable.
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I do not want to go out any, people can have their own opinions, but I don't want to go
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So if my man says, you know what, I'd prefer you to not wear that.
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And then the woman goes, um, and says, you know what, actually I want to wear this.
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Um, for example, um, I might wear a top that shows a little bit of my boobs.
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And then my man's like, I don't want you to wear that.
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And I'm like, actually, you know what, um, can I pull it up a little bit and then it's
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And then if he's toxic, he'll, he'll start getting angry.
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Like, oh, you're undermining me, so on and so forth.
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And it will turn into a big argument that it does not have to be.
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However, if he knows how to go about it in the correct way, then we might have a little
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And either we come to some sort of compromise where he knows how to deal with my emotions
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Do you think that men want to have conversations about problems or women want to have conversations
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At the end of the day, men and women are two very different creatures.
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Mostly it's women because we have a lot more emotional issues.
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Don't you think you're asking him to emote like a woman?
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Like, because often when I hear this, this is just what I've noticed is when women say
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the word toxic masculinity, masculinity, they're asking men to be women.
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It's the fact that in a relationship, you have to be able to compromise.
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I have to be able to understand you from your point of view of things.
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If I need you to come down on a level where I'm able to actually tell you how I feel and
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I want you to actually kind of understand what I'm trying to tell you without fighting
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Well, I mean, part of femininity is listening to your man.
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So is it toxically feminine if you're not listening?
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Because at the same time, like I just said, you need to be able to compromise.
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You should be able to, if I want to sit down and tell you I don't like this, you should be able
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to hear it. If you want to come and sit down and tell me you don't like this, I should be able to
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I think that men are okay with us coming to talk about problems, but it's the way we approach it.
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A lot of the time we approach it by criticising, blaming, shaming, trying to control them.
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I think if we're able to remove all of that and we're able to have conversations as a kind of
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coming in a different angle in a respectful way, men are very happy to be having these
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conversations in order to ensure that the relationship is on track.
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I'm just curious. I'm just going to do a poll quick with the guys.
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Do you guys want to have a conversation with your woman about what she wears every time
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Not situations like that. I think that you should know yourself what's appropriate and what's
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That's fine then. But the thing is, it's just a conversation at the end of the day.
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Which is fine, but it's just going back to the toxic masculinity. It's like you're asking
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When you're asking men to emote like women, so to have a conversation. Like it's toxically
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masculine if you don't want to have a conversation about something.
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But the thing is, they can have a conversation without crying, without doing this. Just listen.
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Just listen to what I have to say. I'm not asking you to be a woman. I'm not asking you
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No, but I'm saying when you say it's toxically masculine for you not to want to have a conversation
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It's like when they say something and they want to say that's the end of conversation.
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You get it? Like this guy can come to you and say, I don't know, for example, like
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going back to the clothes thing, I don't like what you're wearing. I can try to tell you
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like, oh, but no, that's it. He's not even trying to hear your side of the story.
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I think so, because it's like you're toxically, if that's a word, like establishing your dominance
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in a way where you're not even trying to let me talk. You're trying to do this. Oh, like
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just be quiet. I'm your man kind of thing. I think that's what toxic masculinity is.
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I think that's just masculinity. I think like women just don't like being told no.
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No, because I feel like you can be masculine, like she said before, and come in a correct
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way. And you can tell me, babe, like, I'm not going to lie to you. I don't like the
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way you're wearing this. I feel like this. Like, at least hear, sorry, at least hear me out
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That's one thing. That's how two adults should communicate.
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Exactly. No, but that's because you're trying to make men communicate like women. Like,
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have you ever been in a men's locker room and listened to how they talk to each other?
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And you're like, oh, I can't believe they're like, I used to work at a plumbing tech company
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and they would just roast the shit out of each other. And I could not believe they talked
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to each other like that. But saying, oh, but like, let's communicate.
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I need to remember we are women and we, our feelings do get hurt very quick. So just be
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aware. So you wouldn't talk to, not referring to women as children. This is just an example.
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You would talk to a child a certain way because you know it's a kid. You would talk to like
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a bunch of boys a certain way because you know you're in a group of a bunch of boys.
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Just be aware of who you're talking to. That's it.
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And I agree with you. I think men know that. They know they can't communicate to us the
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same way to communicate to other men. I'm saying it's not toxically masculine if a guy
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I think it is because like it's, I think, just give your reason. Just give your reason
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because that's just what we want. Give your reason, babe, why you don't want me to. Him,
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okay, this, this and this. Okay, yeah, I understand you. I'll take it off.
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Do you think most women, that's their answer when he says, when you give them a reason,
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he gives you a reason that they're like, oh, okay.
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No, no. Obviously, no. It will go into a conversation. I feel like the clothing example
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has messed things up. Let me give you another one. So say, for example, cool. I live with
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my boyfriend, whatever. Like, I'm the one who will be cooking that night. Say, for example,
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I say, babe, I'm thinking about making ABCD for dinner. And he goes, no, you're not doing
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that. I feel like, why is it that you have the right to tell us what we're eating? I'm the
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Because he doesn't want to know. Sorry, I'm so sorry, but I've been itching. I just
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didn't want to interrupt anybody. It's because he doesn't want to know and know the ins and
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outs, in my opinion. He doesn't want to know the ins and outs and what you've decided.
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Just cook the food. Men don't want to have to have a conversation. I like to, I think men
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operate from a place of like solution. If there's a problem, what is the solution? How
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do we fix this? Very black and white. It's women that want to have the conversation. So
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instead of the, I'm cooking tonight. Oh, babe, this is what I'm going to cook. He
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doesn't care. He just cook the food. So what if I've already, you can decide, babe.
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What if I've defrosted my chicken? This guy tells me he wants fish. Are my chickens there
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falling? No, but then. I can't see him doing that though. I think he'd be grateful for
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whatever he wants. But that's why it's toxic masculinity. Because not everybody does it, but