Women Are Not Entitled To This...
Episode Stats
Summary
In this episode, we talk about child support and why it should exist in the UK and the role of fathers in child support. We also talk about the impact child support can have on relationships and how it can cause problems in relationships when parents can't come to terms with the fact that they are co-parenting a child.
Transcript
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question um do you guys think that women are entitled to child support yes or no
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entitled in what context um so like do you think that the child child support should exist basically
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um that's so nuanced a question i mean should it exist i think i think it i think it is there to
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kind of give people that sense of you have a responsibility when things fall apart but i i
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don't know i don't know if it should exist or not because you know you didn't get paid to have the
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kid in the first place i mean i think if you're if it's a tricky one i think if you if you're good
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and you're a good person and you want to look after your child you will look after your child
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i don't think for me i think state involvement is with children is a bit of a no-no well yeah
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it's not what the guy should do it's like should the government force men to pay
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i don't like the word force i mean i mean because if you don't if you don't pay child support you go
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to jail yeah so you are for it's like you don't in the uk you don't go to jail for child support in
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uk but in america um i think i think it depends does does the opposite work in reverse in in the
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united states because that's what you're referencing so if if you have a man who's got custody of his
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child he's the woman obligated to pay child support in america um is she up it's not as
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common um it does happen but they're usually headlines because it's the exception rather
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than the rule yeah i don't i don't believe in child support at all i think you should get a job
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like in a failing economy it might be hard if i missed the context i thought child support was
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forcing the man to give money to the yeah yeah no it is and sometimes it's occasionally it's reverse
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but i'm saying even in that context i don't understand why you can't get a job as a girl
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like because you're a woman i think even when you've got a job you still have to pay that i
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think i know i think it works with with residency so if you if so you know if a child is five days
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out of seven with yeah she gets the the benefit it's not just child support it will be state child
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benefit it will be well i think universal credit it will be anything else right but i think it should
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just be automatically 50 50 like if both parents like not nothing no dv nothing of that it should
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just be 50 50 and no child support so i've got a because anecdotal story okay go ahead um so when
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i was raising my son right and and i i mean his mother broke up i was paying uh her without the
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government right involvement so we agreed on a fee every month and i was paying that every month
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and then i had my son half the week and she had him half the week so i was like all right that's
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cool for me and um what happened was is that somebody said to me are you are you giving her
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money every month and i was like yeah of course for my son and they were like you're not entitled to
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do that you have your son half the week and i was like really and so i went on the dot gov website
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and it stated yeah if two people are co actually co-parenting no one owes each other money yeah
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and i was like oh what am i paying this money for so when i informed her you know what no more money
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that's when problems began and that was very interesting i'd like to hear from the girls what
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you guys think about child support um i feel like it should is if if you if the father is not
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contributing um and he's not doing it just by you know because he's supposed to and looking after
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his child etc and they there is some relationships where they can't communicate they can't come to a
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common um ground the child lives with the mother um more time i do believe there have to be something
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in place um because again even if the mother is working again sometimes due to child care they have
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they can't work certain hours they can't do certain things and i feel like to give that child a a decent
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life you would as a father would want to you know pay and do what you need to do whether that's paying
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for after school clubs i do think there's other ways of contributing i don't but i do think
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css child support is very toxic as well at the same time it can cause problems but it there needs
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to be there also it needs to be something in place for when relationships or when parents can't come to
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an agreement why because then the child gets the child gets left left in a in a why should the child
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suffer basically you should have lived you know do you think that incentivizes women to make poor
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reproductive choices because they get bailed out so even if you pick the the guy that clearly wasn't
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a good father like you still get bailed out because we should be picking men that are will stay in the
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kids lives like you seem to have a really good relationship yeah i think that but there is
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sometimes where you could go you've heard stories sometimes people have been with people they've they've
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been a good guy break up and they've they just change i mean you know and you just but do we
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base rules based on the exception i think most girls that that happens to they saw the red flags
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early on and they just don't listen to anybody yeah like yes why are you laughing because it's true
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it's true right yeah but i feel like that it is i can change him i swear i do feel like the to csa
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at the moment is been it is being used for the wrong reasons and i also do think
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that um it will be better if parents could come to an you know an agreement i do believe i don't
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think money's everything because well i feel that sometimes hands-on help is more is more better off
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to be honest but everyone's different okay what do you think um i don't think the government should
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be involved i think if uh two people are mature enough to have a child they should also be mature
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enough to both provide for the child and whatever means necessary um but like you said i do think
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it's uh necessary to have something in place for if one party can't keep up their end of the deal in
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looking after the child so i think it should be harder to okay what do you think um well i had a
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similar um story to you sarah one of my friends close friends was in a situation it was quite fairly
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recent actually in lockdown where he couldn't provide um for his children because he lost his
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job and he was paying monthly a good rate that was discussed before this encounter and out of malice
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his ex was like okay well i'm gonna take it to you know i'm gonna take it to court and get my um child
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maintenance increased and that was very detrimental to his mental health because this was out of his
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control no one knew that the pandemic was gonna occur you know and when you're doing such you know
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when you're providing such duty for your kids willingly you know despite all of the the fights
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and the arguments and the break that breakouts that have occurred you're still there for your child
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still trying to um provide for them and then something happens and you can't know more and then they
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they use the opportunity because they've got like um the government backing them up to now account for
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um the the finance is just like do you think that girls would make better reproductive choices if
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they knew there were consequences yes like if maybe they knew child support wasn't an option if they
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got pregnant mm-hmm yeah i feel that there would be a lot of premeditated decisions if i knew that um
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you know if i'm gonna go out with a man and he's he's not gonna be there for me i'm gonna make sure i'm
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i have my job i'm gonna make sure i have my house i'm make sure i'm i'm well equipped before i get
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into that make sure you're on birth control yeah as well as well she wasn't gonna mention that
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i didn't think i needed to i mean i i hold myself to a high regard so yeah sorry um but
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oh you don't sorry yeah you can oh sorry i could tell if you were carried on sorry
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no no i'm done but yeah no i just don't wait before you carry on we've got a stat over here
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um if i let my brother just read that hold up this is for you charlie the rise in single father
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families is significant by the office for national statistics whose family households in the uk
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annual report for 2019 says since 1999 the total number of single parent especially fathers is in
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the region of 2.49 million as of 2019 this is seen as a significant increase on how it was 20 years
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ago that's interesting why do you think that is not the reception you're right you're not the
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exception it's it's the second highest growth in single parent households in single fathers why do you
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think that is um i think it's layered but i think maybe one of the reasons is um
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people are realizing that women aren't the best parent all the time for the child well i think
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there was a time in our history like during the me too era where it was almost like women could do
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no wrong believe all women at any cost and now that things like amber heard have come out and other
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you know crazy girls that like come to the forefront because again i always say this if it happens to
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a celebrity who else does it happen to right like that's clearly happened to the average guy if this
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could happen to someone you know super famous with money and power right um so i think like
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that has really given men more rights than maybe they had in the past but the system still is really
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broken it's still skewed to yeah you know it really is sorry you were going to say something
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yeah just when you when it comes to you know talking about um you know women choosing who
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they have sex with speaking to them when it comes to women choosing to have sex with you know again
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people actually don't understand how important it is to pick a man based on is this man going to be a
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good father is this man going to be here because you know 81 of teen teen parenting come from
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fatherless homes you know 80 of kids on the street again often fatherless homes if you're picking a
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guy who yeah just looks good and you know gets the juices going fair enough like your kids might look
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good but are they going to be actually helping you know propagate society or are they going to be
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a detriment to society a lot of times you know the men that women complain about come from homes
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single single mother homes and it's crazy it sounds bad like i don't i don't mean to say that single
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moms are evil or anything like that but a lot of the worst types of men in this world come from
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single mother homes because you need a man there to sometimes give a good slap to the son's face when
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he's growing up just to you know just to humble him and make you think what am i doing in my life
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what where am i going where am i trying to what kind of life am i trying to lead and so yeah i just
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think people need to start thinking about a bit more when they're picking who to who to go for
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i think unfortunately that bad boy image that's been sold to so many women that women are attracted
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to um makes them as you said gets their juices going but those quote-unquote bad boys which most
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women are attracted to aren't necessarily going to be a good father right they're not necessarily going
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to be a good father so i think that bad boy image has been now sold as what manhood is so even within
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like rap songs right rappers are sold as like the ultimate alpha male right that's that's what it's
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sold as right they're not generally a lot of them probably couldn't you know can't even do a lot of
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things but it's sold like they're the they're the ultimate alpha male however those guys nine times
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out of ten aren't good fathers do you know i mean they're the type of guy who you know have sex with
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women here and there have a couple of babies here and there and then just move on do you know i mean
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and i think a lot of women get sold i said they get sold that that hyper masculine man is the one that
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they can take for you know uh a good stable family man and that's not the guy that you're gonna tame
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to make a stable man as many of you know i was just banned on tiktok and we are demonetized on a daily
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