JustPearlyThings - December 24, 2022


Women Are Not Entitled To This...

Topics
child support
Hosted by
Hannah Pearl Davis
Modern Women DON'T Look At BIG PICTURE

Episode Stats


Length

12 minutes

Words per minute

191.69

Word count

2,419

Sentence count

—

Harmful content

Misogyny

10

sentences flagged

Toxicity

4

sentences flagged

Hate speech

6

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about child support and why it should exist in the UK and the role of fathers in child support. We also talk about the impact child support can have on relationships and how it can cause problems in relationships when parents can't come to terms with the fact that they are co-parenting a child.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 question um do you guys think that women are entitled to child support yes or no
00:00:04.920 entitled in what context um so like do you think that the child child support should exist basically
00:00:12.020 um that's so nuanced a question i mean should it exist i think i think it i think it is there to
00:00:22.420 kind of give people that sense of you have a responsibility when things fall apart but i i
00:00:29.800 don't know i don't know if it should exist or not because you know you didn't get paid to have the
00:00:34.540 kid in the first place i mean i think if you're if it's a tricky one i think if you if you're good
00:00:40.040 and you're a good person and you want to look after your child you will look after your child
00:00:43.080 i don't think for me i think state involvement is with children is a bit of a no-no well yeah
00:00:48.220 it's not what the guy should do it's like should the government force men to pay
00:00:51.960 i don't like the word force i mean i mean because if you don't if you don't pay child support you go
00:00:59.540 to jail yeah so you are for it's like you don't in the uk you don't go to jail for child support in
00:01:04.780 uk but in america um i think i think it depends does does the opposite work in reverse in in the
00:01:11.460 united states because that's what you're referencing so if if you have a man who's got custody of his
00:01:15.620 child he's the woman obligated to pay child support in america um is she up it's not as
00:01:20.480 common um it does happen but they're usually headlines because it's the exception rather
00:01:25.440 than the rule yeah i don't i don't believe in child support at all i think you should get a job
00:01:29.700 like in a failing economy it might be hard if i missed the context i thought child support was
00:01:36.160 forcing the man to give money to the yeah yeah no it is and sometimes it's occasionally it's reverse
00:01:41.480 but i'm saying even in that context i don't understand why you can't get a job as a girl
00:01:46.580 like because you're a woman i think even when you've got a job you still have to pay that i 1.00
00:01:50.940 think i know i think it works with with residency so if you if so you know if a child is five days
00:01:56.400 out of seven with yeah she gets the the benefit it's not just child support it will be state child
00:02:02.020 benefit it will be well i think universal credit it will be anything else right but i think it should
00:02:06.220 just be automatically 50 50 like if both parents like not nothing no dv nothing of that it should
00:02:11.900 just be 50 50 and no child support so i've got a because anecdotal story okay go ahead um so when
00:02:18.200 i was raising my son right and and i i mean his mother broke up i was paying uh her without the
00:02:28.060 government right involvement so we agreed on a fee every month and i was paying that every month
00:02:33.600 and then i had my son half the week and she had him half the week so i was like all right that's
00:02:39.700 cool for me and um what happened was is that somebody said to me are you are you giving her
00:02:47.260 money every month and i was like yeah of course for my son and they were like you're not entitled to
00:02:51.380 do that you have your son half the week and i was like really and so i went on the dot gov website
00:02:59.320 and it stated yeah if two people are co actually co-parenting no one owes each other money yeah
00:03:06.320 and i was like oh what am i paying this money for so when i informed her you know what no more money
00:03:11.040 that's when problems began and that was very interesting i'd like to hear from the girls what
00:03:15.960 you guys think about child support um i feel like it should is if if you if the father is not
00:03:27.480 contributing um and he's not doing it just by you know because he's supposed to and looking after
00:03:33.280 his child etc and they there is some relationships where they can't communicate they can't come to a
00:03:40.120 common um ground the child lives with the mother um more time i do believe there have to be something
00:03:46.200 in place um because again even if the mother is working again sometimes due to child care they have
00:03:53.360 they can't work certain hours they can't do certain things and i feel like to give that child a a decent
00:03:59.600 life you would as a father would want to you know pay and do what you need to do whether that's paying
00:04:05.080 for after school clubs i do think there's other ways of contributing i don't but i do think
00:04:10.080 css child support is very toxic as well at the same time it can cause problems but it there needs
00:04:16.260 to be there also it needs to be something in place for when relationships or when parents can't come to
00:04:22.300 an agreement why because then the child gets the child gets left left in a in a why should the child
00:04:30.920 suffer basically you should have lived you know do you think that incentivizes women to make poor 0.99
00:04:35.960 reproductive choices because they get bailed out so even if you pick the the guy that clearly wasn't
00:04:42.440 a good father like you still get bailed out because we should be picking men that are will stay in the
00:04:48.940 kids lives like you seem to have a really good relationship yeah i think that but there is
00:04:53.560 sometimes where you could go you've heard stories sometimes people have been with people they've they've
00:04:58.100 been a good guy break up and they've they just change i mean you know and you just but do we
00:05:02.740 base rules based on the exception i think most girls that that happens to they saw the red flags 1.00
00:05:07.780 early on and they just don't listen to anybody yeah like yes why are you laughing because it's true
00:05:12.880 it's true right yeah but i feel like that it is i can change him i swear i do feel like the to csa
00:05:20.620 at the moment is been it is being used for the wrong reasons and i also do think
00:05:26.260 that um it will be better if parents could come to an you know an agreement i do believe i don't
00:05:32.960 think money's everything because well i feel that sometimes hands-on help is more is more better off
00:05:37.180 to be honest but everyone's different okay what do you think um i don't think the government should
00:05:43.440 be involved i think if uh two people are mature enough to have a child they should also be mature
00:05:50.220 enough to both provide for the child and whatever means necessary um but like you said i do think
00:05:56.320 it's uh necessary to have something in place for if one party can't keep up their end of the deal in
00:06:03.280 looking after the child so i think it should be harder to okay what do you think um well i had a
00:06:08.660 similar um story to you sarah one of my friends close friends was in a situation it was quite fairly
00:06:16.220 recent actually in lockdown where he couldn't provide um for his children because he lost his
00:06:22.240 job and he was paying monthly a good rate that was discussed before this encounter and out of malice
00:06:31.840 his ex was like okay well i'm gonna take it to you know i'm gonna take it to court and get my um child
00:06:39.480 maintenance increased and that was very detrimental to his mental health because this was out of his
00:06:45.040 control no one knew that the pandemic was gonna occur you know and when you're doing such you know
00:06:51.100 when you're providing such duty for your kids willingly you know despite all of the the fights
00:06:56.580 and the arguments and the break that breakouts that have occurred you're still there for your child
00:07:01.080 still trying to um provide for them and then something happens and you can't know more and then they
00:07:08.440 they use the opportunity because they've got like um the government backing them up to now account for
00:07:14.740 um the the finance is just like do you think that girls would make better reproductive choices if 0.99
00:07:20.480 they knew there were consequences yes like if maybe they knew child support wasn't an option if they
00:07:25.680 got pregnant mm-hmm yeah i feel that there would be a lot of premeditated decisions if i knew that um
00:07:33.820 you know if i'm gonna go out with a man and he's he's not gonna be there for me i'm gonna make sure i'm
00:07:38.500 i have my job i'm gonna make sure i have my house i'm make sure i'm i'm well equipped before i get
00:07:43.880 into that make sure you're on birth control yeah as well as well she wasn't gonna mention that
00:07:49.620 i didn't think i needed to i mean i i hold myself to a high regard so yeah sorry um but
00:07:56.200 oh you don't sorry yeah you can oh sorry i could tell if you were carried on sorry
00:08:00.500 no no i'm done but yeah no i just don't wait before you carry on we've got a stat over here
00:08:06.800 um if i let my brother just read that hold up this is for you charlie the rise in single father
00:08:13.580 families is significant by the office for national statistics whose family households in the uk
00:08:18.820 annual report for 2019 says since 1999 the total number of single parent especially fathers is in
00:08:26.020 the region of 2.49 million as of 2019 this is seen as a significant increase on how it was 20 years
00:08:33.400 ago that's interesting why do you think that is not the reception you're right you're not the
00:08:41.380 exception it's it's the second highest growth in single parent households in single fathers why do you
00:08:48.220 think that is um i think it's layered but i think maybe one of the reasons is um
00:08:55.840 people are realizing that women aren't the best parent all the time for the child well i think
00:09:04.440 there was a time in our history like during the me too era where it was almost like women could do 1.00
00:09:10.380 no wrong believe all women at any cost and now that things like amber heard have come out and other
00:09:17.800 you know crazy girls that like come to the forefront because again i always say this if it happens to
00:09:22.060 a celebrity who else does it happen to right like that's clearly happened to the average guy if this
00:09:26.180 could happen to someone you know super famous with money and power right um so i think like
00:09:32.820 that has really given men more rights than maybe they had in the past but the system still is really
00:09:40.080 broken it's still skewed to yeah you know it really is sorry you were going to say something
00:09:44.460 yeah just when you when it comes to you know talking about um you know women choosing who
00:09:50.220 they have sex with speaking to them when it comes to women choosing to have sex with you know again 0.62
00:09:56.120 people actually don't understand how important it is to pick a man based on is this man going to be a
00:10:02.860 good father is this man going to be here because you know 81 of teen teen parenting come from
00:10:09.040 fatherless homes you know 80 of kids on the street again often fatherless homes if you're picking a
00:10:15.500 guy who yeah just looks good and you know gets the juices going fair enough like your kids might look
00:10:20.560 good but are they going to be actually helping you know propagate society or are they going to be
00:10:26.780 a detriment to society a lot of times you know the men that women complain about come from homes 0.97
00:10:34.340 single single mother homes and it's crazy it sounds bad like i don't i don't mean to say that single
00:10:39.860 moms are evil or anything like that but a lot of the worst types of men in this world come from 0.99
00:10:46.100 single mother homes because you need a man there to sometimes give a good slap to the son's face when 1.00
00:10:51.880 he's growing up just to you know just to humble him and make you think what am i doing in my life
00:10:56.440 what where am i going where am i trying to what kind of life am i trying to lead and so yeah i just
00:11:02.300 think people need to start thinking about a bit more when they're picking who to who to go for
00:11:06.260 i think unfortunately that bad boy image that's been sold to so many women that women are attracted 1.00
00:11:12.840 to um makes them as you said gets their juices going but those quote-unquote bad boys which most
00:11:21.280 women are attracted to aren't necessarily going to be a good father right they're not necessarily going 1.00
00:11:26.080 to be a good father so i think that bad boy image has been now sold as what manhood is so even within
00:11:35.140 like rap songs right rappers are sold as like the ultimate alpha male right that's that's what it's
00:11:42.260 sold as right they're not generally a lot of them probably couldn't you know can't even do a lot of
00:11:46.700 things but it's sold like they're the they're the ultimate alpha male however those guys nine times 0.96
00:11:54.840 out of ten aren't good fathers do you know i mean they're the type of guy who you know have sex with 0.99
00:12:01.020 women here and there have a couple of babies here and there and then just move on do you know i mean 0.98
00:12:06.200 and i think a lot of women get sold i said they get sold that that hyper masculine man is the one that 0.79
00:12:13.420 they can take for you know uh a good stable family man and that's not the guy that you're gonna tame
00:12:19.880 to make a stable man as many of you know i was just banned on tiktok and we are demonetized on a daily
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