JustPearlyThings - WOMEN Are The Ones LEAVING

00:00:00.000 would you guys say because you're both in your 20s right yeah okay would you get so being in

00:00:04.800 your 30s would you say that that switched also in your 30s like you were dating more seriously

00:00:09.780 uh i was already married oh wow 20s um so yeah i was i was always dating seriously before that i

00:00:18.560 had a seven year long relationship i've only ever really been in relationships this is my first time

00:00:23.160 being single and i'm freaked out but then how do you know like are you supposed to just like go okay

00:00:33.280 well that how do you know when it's the guy like do you believe in one guy i believe that it's good

00:00:40.500 to make sure that you're with somebody that has the same values um no but i'm saying do you believe

00:00:45.280 like there's one person for you out there i don't believe the one the one i don't believe in the one

00:00:50.140 i believe in great communication and and i believe in trash communication um and if you've

00:00:55.220 got great communication then you've got the basis for a great relationship um so so do i believe in

00:01:00.700 the one no i think that's a bit esoteric so you two um single childless 55 to 60 would you be happy

00:01:08.200 i know so you said happy single yeah so mind you i'm about to be 27 i think obviously everyone has

00:01:15.040 their own decision she's quite happy clearly in her life at 55 for me my priorities are very

00:01:20.120 very very different um i am looking to have a family so maybe for her clearly well not maybe

00:01:26.660 clearly for her that was not a priority um but the age that i am and the life that i want for myself

00:01:32.400 i'm very much already planning for myself as of now to get to the point where i can have that family

00:01:38.000 in the next couple of years yeah yeah just plan for the unexpected but

00:01:42.800 expect the unexpected already have a plan yeah if you what is it if you fail to prepare then you

00:01:50.500 prepare to fail do you think preparing for the worst is the do you think that's the best way to go

00:01:56.000 about dating and relationships great question i think it's expect the best but prepare for the worst

00:02:01.540 does that make sense i don't prepare for the worst don't you think if you're always having one foot

00:02:05.920 out the door in a backup plan that you're destined to fail no yeah that no so like psychologically if

00:02:10.880 you've got a plan b plan a is less likely to right but even if it's just like mentally i think that's

00:02:16.260 just even part of the whole like self-sabotaging thing like when i see something going well and this

00:02:20.520 is the things that i have to constantly address in myself but when i see something going well and just

00:02:25.460 from previous relationships having fuck ups or cheating or this or that it is within my nature

00:02:31.100 to be like this is too good to be true run but that's that's because i've kind of conditioned

00:02:36.780 myself to think this isn't going to work for this for me this is a me problem and i think it's not

00:02:42.860 about expecting something to go wrong but approaching something with like i'm ready to change like i'm

00:02:48.680 ready to this is about me now like i need to approach this differently and whether this person

00:02:52.900 fucks up doesn't do it but you know okay cool that's my decision to stay in it or walk away or

00:02:58.300 i think if it's like it's just about making sure that if it doesn't go to plan then it's not going

00:03:04.960 to devastate you you have a second landing you know like it's not about planning for the worst to happen

00:03:10.780 it's just like are you going to be okay like anything could happen to that man right anything he

00:03:16.520 could get run over by a bus are you going to be okay i just noticed with women it's like we're

00:03:24.060 always preparing for the worst like what could happen he could leave like da da da da and i just

00:03:28.300 don't know if that's really like the happiest women i know in relationships aren't really thinking oh he

00:03:33.220 could die or oh he could leave like they're thinking you know i have a good one i think it's your conscious

00:03:40.740 thought right but then so long as you know like there's a core understanding that i'm not going

00:03:46.980 to be destitute if something should happen it's just like sounds like a nest egg do you know what

00:03:52.180 i mean i don't even know what you're saying like a little nest egg so an emotional nest egg emotional

00:03:58.640 how how would i build an emotional nest egg so resilience resilience yeah so are you going to be

00:04:03.900 okay if you're on your own do you know what i mean if your man leaves for any reason like are you

00:04:09.140 going to be okay i feel like sorry i feel like everything that you guys have said uh i can

00:04:14.680 understand both sides but how i see it is from when you do your part instead of thinking of oh he

00:04:21.360 might leave he might leave do your part in any situation in a relationship or friendship so however

00:04:27.080 it goes whether good or bad for you you've done your part then you can freely be happy to walk away

00:04:32.900 the only time i'd find myself from experience that um someone has left me or i have left them and i was

00:04:38.960 heartbroken to the point where i'm like oh my god i should have prepared was only because i did i

00:04:44.160 don't remember if i did my part whether i was calm when i was supposed to or communicated well so then

00:04:49.520 i will that's where that that's where the pressure comes from later on you'll be thinking did i do this

00:04:54.560 was it me but when you know you've done your part and they even hurt you or leave you it hurts a bit

00:05:00.720 it's not the men leaving it's the women the women are the ones leaving anyway how many these days

00:05:05.360 yeah how many of you how many of you have college degrees how many yes i do college degree you have

00:05:10.220 a college degree it's in circus so three three out of four if you have a college degree though if you

00:05:15.520 get divorced it's 90 chance that you leave i i didn't but why is that you're in the 10

00:05:21.300 percent i don't want to celebrate that but i want to go back to the point that you mentioned

00:05:27.380 about like i think paul you'd said i don't think there's anything else in life that we actually ever

00:05:30.740 go into preparing to fail right like if you have the mentality of this is going to go wrong and be

00:05:35.540 pessimistic naturally the outcome is going to be that it's going to fail anyway so why enter into

00:05:40.180 a relationship whereby the aim is for you to be together for the long term but you're already setting

00:05:45.780 yourself up for failure like you said my friend at the beginning it's self-sabotage and as soon as

00:05:50.660 you take accountability for that like you know i just think it's about learning like like um or

00:05:56.820 relearning for me something that i try to live by is how can i be completely committed to this

00:06:01.860 but unattached like i'm completely committed to this relationship i'm completely committed to you

00:06:08.020 but like i'm unattached to what happens like do you think men want women that are completely

00:06:12.660 unattached to what happens not really that doesn't make sense to me personally no i understand but

00:06:19.620 i've approached everything in my career everything in my life as in i'm completely committed right but

00:06:25.700 and and that's that's fine but it's just it's kind of knowing like what the buyer wants yeah you know

00:06:30.020 fair but i don't know about it always being about the buyer but as long as you feel content with

00:06:35.700 yourself yeah but i mean you have to sell it right yeah um okay i want to hear from the men do you guys

00:06:41.780 think that women can be happy single childless at 55 do you know any women that are if you know

00:06:47.220 any women that aren't let me know and we've just seen that um that tick tock video and she's not

00:06:53.300 happy if you were happy you wouldn't spend all your time doing tick tock saying how happy you are

00:06:57.860 yeah you know that's that's a serious code going on isn't it you know she's she's not happy she's just

00:07:04.580 concerned about the fact that you know um people are going to think that she's not happy so she wants to

00:07:08.980 say that she's happy the fact that she's going to you know die alone and be childless um you know

00:07:14.340 that's just something that she just wants to kind of cover up with you know traveling all around the

00:07:19.300 world and um you know banging people all over the world trying to try different ones

00:07:24.660 from that morning yeah it's like grandma what did you do like she should be a grandma at this point

00:07:33.380 yeah um what do you think yeah i agree i don't think she looks happy at all uh the whole thing

00:07:39.140 was just like bitter and resentful and what i find is that single childless women it's like women with

00:07:47.060 children are rent free in their minds all the time you know like i don't think there's any mothers that

00:07:51.940 are making tick tocks bitterly like i'm not like these single women or something you know it's

00:07:57.060 always the other way around and uh the other thing about women is it's a biological reality they're hot

00:08:04.900 when they're young then they get older and then they get uglier and we all know that man i knew i was

00:08:12.820 gonna like this guy men prefer young women and women when they get older especially once they're past the

00:08:20.180 age where they can have kids they get uglier they they get fatter their attitude is bad and listen

00:08:27.220 i mean like my mom's like over the age of 50 you know so i don't mean it like negatively i don't mean

00:08:32.180 that as like a mean thing to say but it's just what's the quality of life you want to be like a

00:08:36.820 swinger and have a good time i don't know how much of a good time you could have when you're 60 as

00:08:41.540 opposed to when you're 25 or 30 when you're 30 seems like a great idea i could live like this my whole

00:08:47.380 life fly around eat where you want have my croissant in paris but when you're 60 that's like well it's

00:08:54.020 not the same it's not the same image i don't know i feel like you give less are we allowed to say that

00:09:01.060 i think you give less bucks at 60. but that is how it is it's like in your 20s you're quite insecure

00:09:07.620 in your 30s you're kind of finding your feet a little bit and then in your 40s less bucks are given

00:09:12.900 you've got more money to fund it that's time you're losing time while you're trying to figure

00:09:17.780 out yeah but most people when they don't give a in their 60s it's because they got a

00:09:21.380 husband and a family so they don't give a what the world thinks i think it's just age

00:09:25.460 i do i just think it's just age why is she posting on tick tock for the world to see

00:09:30.580 everyone's posting on bloody the tick tock these days i can't keep up

00:09:35.780 but there's like there's lots of family um women that are posting on the tick tock

00:09:42.020 as well and they're going look at this amazing beautiful family and it's gorgeous right it's

00:09:46.900 beautiful to see and that's also this woman's experience but the whole point is if you really

00:09:52.260 don't give enough what people think why are you posting on social media at all but if the family

00:09:56.180 lady doesn't give a f um why is she posting about how many meals she can make they don't they don't

00:10:02.420 i've never seen that tick tock there's a lady with like seven kids and it's like a meal processing

00:10:08.100 line that she has oh i've seen that those kids are ugly

00:10:11.300 i think they're all adopted so i don't know where they found these guys i think i'm understanding

00:10:25.940 how he got banned as many of you know i was just banned on tick tock and we are demonetized on a

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JustPearlyThings - March 26, 2023

WOMEN Are The Ones LEAVING

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