JustPearlyThings - Women Aren't Dating Men Because Of Their Friends ｜ Pearl Daily

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00:02:29.980 What up, guys?

00:02:30.860 Welcome to another episode of Pearl Daily.

00:02:34.000 I'm your host, Pearl.

00:02:35.220 And if you guys are interested in learning how to put on a show like this or being a YouTuber,

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00:03:33.560 So welcome to another episode of Pearl Daily.

00:03:38.200 So I was out in Chicago the other day, and I started a conversation with a couple of young women about the dating scene.

00:03:46.460 During the conversation, the women were talking about how they don't put effort towards dating men because they would rather hang out with women.

00:03:56.340 I couldn't believe it.

00:03:57.600 These women were dead serious. 1.00

00:03:59.220 I heard them talk about how much easier it is to go to a club or hang out with the girls or go on a trip with their girlfriends than to put themselves out there in the dating market to find a boyfriend or a husband.

00:04:10.720 This made me think how this could be.

00:04:13.040 And I thought of a couple of things.

00:04:15.360 We are four generations into women being told that they don't need men.

00:04:18.880 Modern women have forgotten what men bring to the table in relationships, the comfort, the security, and the presence of a masculine man. 0.99

00:04:25.800 Two, like Myron from Fresh and Fit says,

00:04:29.420 Men have civilized the world so much that women can live alone or with other women. 0.96

00:04:34.080 Packs of women can roam the streets without fear of anything bad happening to them. 1.00

00:04:38.720 And three, women hanging out with their girls is a short-term solution to a long-term problem that can lead to disaster. 1.00

00:04:45.900 Modern women are giving away their best years to colleges, jobs, and now their girlfriends. 1.00

00:04:49.980 It's only a matter of time where most of these women will want to be with a man. 1.00

00:04:54.560 It's just a matter of when.

00:04:56.260 But by the time they realize that, it'll be too late.

00:04:58.580 At this rate, it's going to be like 62.

00:05:00.600 That's the day.

00:05:01.280 They're ready to settle down.

00:05:03.120 Okay.

00:05:03.620 So you can see on social media, women swearing that they will never leave their friends for a man. 0.61

00:05:09.980 That they have time with their girls or they can go on girls' trips.

00:05:16.420 But what I would say to them is, you can't marry your girlfriends.

00:05:19.640 Well, I mean, some might, but you can't have kids with your girlfriends.

00:05:23.400 Your girlfriends won't provide for you and protect you. 1.00

00:05:26.440 And also, like I say on my channel all the time, women can't stand each other. 1.00

00:05:30.020 If you ask most women who has done the worst, most down-low thing to them, it's usually other women. 1.00

00:05:35.800 And I believe that a woman has more of a chance of getting betrayed by their girlfriends in a 20-year period than by their husbands.

00:05:42.640 Lastly, most women can count on their friends being there for them in their old age. 0.99

00:05:49.860 We have all watched the series Golden Girls.

00:05:53.040 That's a real thing.

00:05:54.320 A bunch of old, lonely women living together. 1.00

00:05:57.140 Is this the type of life that women want to live? 1.00

00:06:01.780 So we're going to start with seven reasons why women choose their friends over a man or over boyfriends. 0.56

00:06:11.220 So, okay, seven reasons why girls choose friends over boyfriends.

00:06:17.160 The tiff between friends and boyfriends is never-ending.

00:06:20.940 Have you guys ever dated a woman and felt like you had to date her whole friend group?

00:06:24.880 Like, it's not just her.

00:06:26.160 It's the friend group you have to appease to.

00:06:29.100 Because every time you guys have a fight, she goes to the friend group.

00:06:31.660 And now you have to rationalize.

00:06:33.360 You have to tell your side to the friend group.

00:06:35.760 The former has been with her through all the rollercoaster rides of life, while the other

00:06:43.500 has bought an all-new meaning to her life.

00:06:50.380 To choose between these two gems has never been easy, but it seems girls value friendship 0.71

00:06:54.860 more than their own real-life relationships.

00:06:57.480 So before you get into a relationship with your dream girl, make sure she doesn't have

00:07:02.180 a best friend.

00:07:03.400 I mean, definitely not the one in...

00:07:06.140 I mean, definitely not the one in Payar Kapunchamana.

00:07:11.740 Have a look at the reasons which convey why girls are inclined to move more towards their 0.99

00:07:18.000 friends.

00:07:18.920 As you never know, these might act as best relationship tips for you.

00:07:24.180 Number one, friendship is forever.

00:07:25.600 However, once a girl has... 1.00

00:07:27.980 That's not true at all.

00:07:30.200 Once a girl has chosen her soul sister, dare you replace her? 1.00

00:07:33.520 They might fight like cats, but in hard times, you would watch them being each other's back.

00:07:38.540 Being each other's back.

00:07:40.280 Oh, just to be clear, a girl never finds a soul brother in her male friend.

00:07:45.440 Fights with best friends are free from any knots, whereas single friends with the boyfriend

00:07:50.420 can ruin the fairy tale dream.

00:07:52.700 Number two, deeply entrenched in each other's lives.

00:07:56.360 Friends have stuck for her for obviously a longer period of time, and anybody would place

00:08:02.260 their old relations above their new one.

00:08:04.700 From her grunge and gross dress up as a team to perfectly dressed adult, they have seen it 0.99

00:08:12.040 all, although there's no denial that boyfriends can do romantic things to melt their woman's

00:08:17.000 heart, but friends steal the show often.

00:08:20.780 Three, the lightness of mind and soul.

00:08:23.420 When compared to long hours spent with their boyfriends, even a few minutes with friends,

00:08:27.920 feel more honest and relaxed.

00:08:29.540 Yeah, because do you know the same way you guys have to lie to us to make us happy?

00:08:33.140 We have to lie to you too.

00:08:34.160 There's this idea that being honest has a good relationship.

00:08:40.880 Okay, let's pretend both sexes were honest. 1.00

00:08:44.600 Okay, let's pretend.

00:08:46.520 Then the men would say, I want to fuck your friend. 1.00

00:08:49.020 Your friend's hotter than you.

00:08:50.380 Yeah.

00:08:50.740 I want to bang the friend.

00:08:53.460 But do you say that?

00:08:54.220 No.

00:08:55.060 No.

00:08:56.060 Because, or the sister, or the mother, whoever the hell it is.

00:08:59.080 You guys don't say that because you love us.

00:09:01.540 The same way women, we don't say, my ex was better than you. 1.00

00:09:06.560 Or we don't say, you know, we don't, we don't say uncomfortable truths like our body can.

00:09:13.000 There's a reason that we lie.

00:09:15.380 We have to.

00:09:16.140 Do you guys really want to know?

00:09:17.920 Do you, no, you don't.

00:09:18.860 You'd rather we lie.

00:09:20.040 Both sexes, we want to be lied to. 1.00

00:09:23.860 So anyways, yeah, so of course she can be more honest and relaxed with the girlfriend. 0.99

00:09:27.860 She can be herself.

00:09:30.080 Anyway, she's an open book in front of her friends. 1.00

00:09:32.460 Moreover, she can share anything and everything with them.

00:09:34.640 Therefore, being loyal is not a big task for her.

00:09:37.780 Until women use that honesty against each other and destroy their reputation and ruin their life. 1.00

00:09:45.640 Ask me how I know.

00:09:47.740 The rescuers.

00:09:48.920 After all the pebbles that life has thrown at her, she's got her friends to bring her back together.

00:09:53.560 Boyfriends might be the ex, but friends are never getting older.

00:09:56.500 So it's the scolding of her parents or a fight with a boyfriend.

00:09:59.500 She finds home in her friend's hug.

00:10:02.160 Five, a bucket full of weirdness.

00:10:04.300 All crazy and quirky things.

00:10:06.080 Find their place at a friend's lap. 0.92

00:10:07.760 She can be drenched in foolishness and still no one would judge her.

00:10:10.920 I mean, this is, yeah, women can be more annoying with each other. 1.00

00:10:16.740 Where you might tell her to shut the fuck up, right? 1.00

00:10:20.800 Yeah, it's, yeah.

00:10:21.800 They have their own humorous dancing on the world's weirdest yet funniest songs.

00:10:27.220 Her A-rated talks find a higher level when she is with the gang.

00:10:30.540 Six, no need of space.

00:10:32.820 Most of the fights in a relationship revolve around the space each partner need.

00:10:37.240 The quarrel over minimal things result in a tensed atmosphere.

00:10:41.140 But with friends, you need no space as you already have the freedom of speech and action.

00:10:45.340 Seven, friends are family.

00:10:47.580 Friends spend long hours in her house doing nothing as if it is their own house and her parents and their parents.

00:10:54.420 Also, with passing days, they become a large part of the family.

00:10:58.180 On the other hand, she needs to think a hundred times about bringing her boyfriends to meet her parents.

00:11:04.720 Yeah, so women are even making articles about choosing their friends over a man. 1.00

00:11:14.100 But don't just believe the articles.

00:11:16.660 Believe women themselves as we make TikToks saying the same exact thing. 0.95

00:11:21.000 Guys, don't ditch your friends for a boyfriend.

00:11:24.660 You only have so much free time.

00:11:27.100 Do you know what I mean?

00:11:28.040 You gotta ditch somebody for your boyfriend.

00:11:30.360 So, it's either the job.

00:11:34.740 You know we're not gonna do that.

00:11:37.440 The friends.

00:11:39.080 And now they're saying don't do that.

00:11:40.460 Don't do that.

00:11:41.580 Especially now that I'm 27 and I'm still seeing a lot of women do that. 1.00

00:11:46.420 I'm like, girl, stand up.

00:11:49.500 Stand up.

00:11:50.620 Look, you're, first off, if your boyfriend is isolating you from your friends, red flag, leave.

00:11:56.460 Of course it's the fat girl saying this, of course.

00:11:59.700 I see those, I see the blubber.

00:12:01.880 I see the catfish.

00:12:02.740 That's disgusting.

00:12:05.120 And you should be able to have girl nights.

00:12:08.060 That's normal.

00:12:08.840 In fact, that's very healthy.

00:12:10.520 You don't need to do everything with your partner.

00:12:12.440 For God's sake.

00:12:13.880 Also, stop calling him your other half.

00:12:16.780 You.

00:12:17.360 You yourself.

00:12:18.400 You are whole.

00:12:19.460 As a person.

00:12:20.660 You are whole as a person.

00:12:21.900 He is not your other half.

00:12:23.240 He is just an addition to your life.

00:12:26.340 I always tell my boyfriend, I want you.

00:12:28.060 I don't need you.

00:12:34.580 Can you imagine her telling you this all the time?

00:12:38.380 It's like we behave badly and then just brag about it.

00:12:41.240 And we think it's like a good thing.

00:12:44.620 You gotta, you gotta think it like that, girls. 0.78

00:12:47.380 Stand up.

00:12:48.560 Cause I see sometimes here some things that concern me and I need y'all to stand up.

00:12:53.880 It's okay to be in love, but stand up.

00:12:56.600 Yeah, of course.

00:12:57.740 Of course.

00:12:58.200 So that's, that's womanese for I don't like my boyfriend that much. 1.00

00:13:01.620 When they say I need, I, you know, it's like when a woman really likes a guy, she begs, 1.00

00:13:07.060 she pleads, she cries.

00:13:08.800 Please don't leave me.

00:13:10.120 Please, please.

00:13:11.040 You know, you know how it goes.

00:13:13.080 But when she says, I want you, I don't need you.

00:13:15.700 That's, I don't like you.

00:13:17.140 Yeah.

00:13:18.200 All right.

00:13:18.740 Here we go.

00:13:20.080 Now she's going to talk about.

00:13:22.000 She's going to talk about how after 30 friendships have a harder time.

00:13:25.600 Being maintained.

00:13:27.060 After 30, if you have a whole bunch of friends, I'm looking at you sideways.

00:13:31.720 Point blank period.

00:13:33.060 Female friendships is one of the most hardest things to maintain besides your bills. 1.00

00:13:37.780 It's like literally up there.

00:13:39.200 You can maintain a relationship with a man more than you can maintain with a female. 0.99

00:13:46.660 I used to think back in the day, like if you didn't have friends or if you didn't have

00:13:50.440 a lot of friends, you were the problem.

00:13:52.260 You can have acquaintances, but I'm talking about like actual friends.

00:13:56.280 After 30, I can stand hard on like two good friends.

00:13:59.840 Like if I needed to, you get what I'm saying?

00:14:01.720 And all you need is like one good best friend and like, you're good.

00:14:05.740 Like you're fine.

00:14:07.240 But I can't be friends with a girl who has all these friends.

00:14:12.320 Like to me, that's like, yeah.

00:14:14.280 The problem is the more like friends a woman has, the more she can manipulate them against 1.00

00:14:19.060 you.

00:14:19.820 She can like turn the group against you. 0.99

00:14:23.440 You know?

00:14:24.180 Okay, so why you should never choose a man over your female friends.

00:14:32.380 We got another article.

00:14:34.760 A couple of years ago, my best friend was arguing with her boyfriend about me.

00:14:38.720 This guy, oh no, this guy was a grade A, of course, emotionally abusive tool bag.

00:14:44.040 Without going too far into the details of their relationship, I'll say he had made it his

00:14:47.880 mission to drive a wedge between my friend and me.

00:14:50.600 Despite the fact I lived thousands of miles away, he saw me as a man.

00:14:54.180 He was a threat to his hold on her.

00:14:56.700 Anyways, one night, my friend, I'll call her Tara, and I had an especially hilarious conversation

00:15:03.260 on the phone.

00:15:04.400 I laughed until I cried and so did she.

00:15:06.360 The tool bag, who I'll call T-Bag, did not like this.

00:15:09.860 In the midst of our laughter, Tara whispered, oh shit, I gotta go. 0.99

00:15:13.880 I'll call you back late.

00:15:15.300 My stomach sank.

00:15:17.220 Shit, shit, shit.

00:15:18.120 What was happening?

00:15:19.260 I tried to get in touch with a mutual friend to check on her.

00:15:22.640 But since it was late in the U.S., I couldn't find anyone.

00:15:25.540 About 30 minutes later, she called me back, her voice hushed and thick sounding.

00:15:29.360 I don't know.

00:15:29.920 He gets so mad when I'm talking to you.

00:15:32.340 So what really happened, guys?

00:15:33.840 Put what you think really happened in the chat.

00:15:37.500 The laughing especially.

00:15:39.080 He's convinced we're laughing at him.

00:15:40.720 It just infuriates him.

00:15:42.300 He said, Luis will never choose you over her husband.

00:15:45.320 I'm all you have.

00:15:46.120 In that moment, several things became obvious to me.

00:15:49.760 One, T-Bag had to go immediately.

00:15:53.520 Friends and I had tried to eject him from her life before.

00:15:56.360 Okay, there's the real story.

00:15:59.260 But things were escalating and she had to get out now.

00:16:01.820 A short while later, Tara's relocation was orchestrated by friends and family.

00:16:07.900 While I could not be there, we were in almost constant contact as she extricated T-Bag from her life. 0.99

00:16:15.160 So yeah, again, usually when a guy has boundaries, standards, or really asks anything of a woman, 0.55

00:16:20.220 that's when everyone in her life will try to get her to leave him.

00:16:25.180 Yeah.

00:16:26.680 Anna on the chat says, I would choose my husband over female friends if I had to.

00:16:32.020 Luckily, I don't have to choose.

00:16:34.360 Thanks, Anna.

00:16:34.900 If you guys do have a question, comment, or concern, you do get unlimited comments on the website.

00:16:40.880 He was wrong.

00:16:41.820 There is no choosing.

00:16:42.740 There is no either or.

00:16:43.700 There is room in my heart for both my husband and the woman I love.

00:16:48.080 The love is not the exact same thing, but take one away and I would be incomplete.

00:16:52.580 So often I think it's an expectation that once a woman is married, her friends, especially other female friends, become secondary.

00:16:59.340 A childish remnant from a former life.

00:17:01.880 I often encounter this idea among friends, acquaintances, or family, that when a woman who marries a man, the marriage consumes her.

00:17:10.720 Yeah, because if you have a kid, it's like, are you going to go to the club with your friends or read your kid a bedtime story?

00:17:15.520 You really got to pick.

00:17:17.160 You can't be there for both, right?

00:17:19.100 There's a pregame.

00:17:19.860 Being a grown-up married woman somehow means that a woman's husband should be her best friend, her lover, her soulmate, or everything.

00:17:27.460 But how could one person be another person's everything?

00:17:30.080 Frankly, that's a lot of pressure, and I can't imagine being another person's everything.

00:17:33.960 I'm happy that I'm not my husband's everything, nor is he mine.

00:17:36.560 This is a conversation that is changing, but even when I was in the process of managing my life with my husbands three years ago,

00:17:43.580 there was a bit of worry in the back of my head that somehow I'd lose myself, my friendships, or that I was expected to.

00:17:49.500 But the truth is, without my female friendships, I wouldn't know a thing about love.

00:17:53.200 The first person I ever got a love letter from, arguably the only person, was my friend Liz.

00:17:58.200 We'd been best friends since high school, went to colleges very far apart, and were very lonely one spring break.

00:18:03.420 Neither of us could afford to go home, and as we sat in our dorm rooms in different parts of the country, we longed for each other's comfort.

00:18:10.240 Then I got an email from her.

00:18:11.800 In her letter, she talked about relationships and crushes, friends, and intimacy.

00:18:15.440 At one point, she wrote,

00:18:16.740 But our friendship has taught me about love.

00:18:18.860 I doubt other people, but I don't doubt you.

00:18:20.840 I love you through your weirdness.

00:18:22.160 You love me through my weirdness.

00:18:23.700 Sometimes I'm somebody else with other people, just like you are.

00:18:26.900 But I'm me when I'm with you.

00:18:28.400 I want to be madly in love one day.

00:18:29.980 But our friendship is a guide.

00:18:31.360 This is how love is supposed to be.

00:18:32.720 You're the only person I've ever wanted to write a love letter to.

00:18:35.240 Thank you.

00:18:35.640 So again, this is us.

00:18:37.780 We try to make our husbands into women, right? 1.00

00:18:39.920 We like tell them about our problems.

00:18:41.480 They become our best friend.

00:18:43.020 Big L for the men.

00:18:44.980 I felt the same, and I still do.

00:18:47.300 In that precarious time when we were trying to figure out adulthood and how to be in adult relationships,

00:18:52.880 Liz and the depth of my acquaintance and appreciation for each other's greatness and shortcomings

00:18:57.060 gave me something to strive for.

00:18:58.800 Through boyfriends and girlfriends, Liz and my relationship was always the benchmark of

00:19:03.080 how I deserve to be loved for and cared for by anybody.

00:19:06.060 I remember being in a relationship where I was tactically, or not so tactically, asked

00:19:09.900 to be someone else.

00:19:10.920 To alter fundamental things about myself, these relationships always began to sour as soon

00:19:15.360 as I'd remember Liz and think, is this not how I want to be loved?

00:19:19.300 Is this how I want to be loved someone?

00:19:21.880 As someone, I'm not.

00:19:22.980 Decades later, I still think of Liz's words when I'm confronted with questions of honesty

00:19:27.620 or authenticity in relationships.

00:19:29.940 The first time I said I love you and I meant it was to my friend Beth.

00:19:33.280 Those three words had always terrified me.

00:19:35.460 I'd said to people before, but I always felt a nagging guilt about it.

00:19:39.320 I wasn't sure if I'm being honest.

00:19:40.800 Beth was and is one of those friends who would never lie to you, no matter how painful it is

00:19:45.520 to both of you.

00:19:46.380 We worked in the same office when I was in my early 20s, and we became fast friends over

00:19:50.960 the hatred of scanning photos and having to take notes at production meetings.

00:19:56.460 What struck me and scared me about Beth is that she was immediately able to see through

00:20:00.660 my BS.

00:20:01.680 While I usually could charm people into forgiving my forgetfulness or selfishness, she wouldn't

00:20:08.080 stand for it.

00:20:08.940 You're not a shitty person, but sometimes you really act like one.

00:20:12.740 She said to me one night after I had behaved especially lousy.

00:20:16.000 I don't remember all the details, but it involved her waiting for me for hours while

00:20:19.960 I flirted around doing God knows what.

00:20:23.380 I could shrink off most others' anger, but when Beth looked at me, it wasn't anger.

00:20:27.260 It was hurt and disappointment.

00:20:29.300 I mean, they should date.

00:20:30.540 She's a lesbian. 1.00

00:20:31.620 That's what I'm getting from this article.

00:20:34.640 What we had it out that night amidst the tears and the frustration, I realized that Beth

00:20:39.040 was angry because she cared enough to hold me accountable for my actions.

00:20:42.540 Though I didn't like to see it in myself, she saw me as somebody better than the

00:20:45.940 idiot I was acting like.

00:20:47.520 After the dust settled, I offered the most sincere apology I had ever given up, given

00:20:52.960 at that point.

00:20:53.680 While Beth accepted and hugged me, I told her I loved her and the first time I meant it

00:20:57.860 a hundred percent.

00:20:59.160 While I felt like I had my armor torn away, I never lost my trust in Beth and I'd never

00:21:04.060 felt more love.

00:21:05.160 That night, I added holding the person you love accountable even when it hurts to my mental

00:21:09.260 definition of love.

00:21:10.200 Over the years, I've had many experiences that have shaped what love meant to me.

00:21:15.700 Some were with men, romantic or platonic, but the majority has been with friends who

00:21:20.940 are women.

00:21:21.800 And although I've learned a lot about love in the 10 years that someone in a physical

00:21:25.860 relationship reveals things that aren't always uncovered in friendship, I find myself

00:21:30.220 reaching for the lesson on love I've learned from the women in my life rather than past romantic

00:21:34.980 relationships.

00:21:35.600 This is not to say that women's friendships are in service to the ultimate payoff of marriage,

00:21:41.080 blah, blah, blah, far from it.

00:21:42.760 I'm not even really saying that this is entirely unique to women's friendships.

00:21:47.480 I've just found that it is women who I feel a distinct kinship with.

00:21:52.120 For me, the ultimate payoff is that every time true love touches you, you learn a little bit

00:21:57.640 more about how to love yourself and others.

00:21:59.880 You learn about how you see.

00:22:01.260 There doesn't have to be a winner.

00:22:03.140 Yeah, because it's going to be the friends.

00:22:04.460 It's not going to be you, fellas.

00:22:05.860 Sorry.

00:22:06.500 I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but if she's got a thought friend, you're cooked.

00:22:12.120 Done.

00:22:12.740 That's it.

00:22:16.120 I don't have one person in my life who's my everything, but the people I've chosen to

00:22:19.980 love me are everything.

00:22:21.260 Without them, I'd be nothing.

00:22:23.620 And the foods...

00:22:25.400 Oh, wait.

00:22:27.340 Okay.

00:22:28.220 This is talking about something else.

00:22:29.740 Yeah, so here we got women talking about how, why you should never choose a man over your 0.98

00:22:37.640 female friends.

00:22:39.020 And I just want to show you guys how this, in essence, plays out.

00:22:43.900 Like, what is the long-term ramifications of this?

00:22:47.740 Where does this go in 20 years?

00:22:50.420 Well, what we're going to see is a lot of female community living together. 1.00

00:22:54.700 So you're going to see women sharing apartments, sharing community homes, and single mothers

00:22:58.240 choosing each other instead of a man.

00:23:01.140 And then they're going to break up, blow up, and then women will go on to the next parasite. 1.00

00:23:07.800 After dealing with divorce, Tessa Geider and Christian Bait-Tekifer decided to raise their

00:23:14.520 family in a...

00:23:16.120 Wait for it.

00:23:17.000 Wait for it.

00:23:17.540 So it's like a play on, like, mother and community, like mom you, and like, it's so

00:23:22.800 a community of moms living together under one roof, helping each other raise children 0.88

00:23:28.980 together.

00:23:29.660 So the backstory is, I found out that my husband was cheating on me for a year, and I left

00:23:34.920 him, obviously.

00:23:35.920 And then my friends were like, hey, you guys can come live with us while you're figuring

00:23:39.800 out this next phase of your life.

00:23:41.680 And then my best friend also went through an equally terrible year.

00:23:46.320 Like, yeah, when one friend did the divorce, like when one girl in the friend group gets

00:23:50.400 divorced, I got bad news for you fellas.

00:23:54.340 I got bad news.

00:23:55.540 You're next.

00:23:56.160 Yep.

00:23:57.100 Especially if she's having like a good, if she's having fun, women hate being left out 1.00

00:24:00.640 of fun, right?

00:24:01.540 We love fun.

00:24:02.920 We hate, like, that's why, like, this is kind of how our brains work.

00:24:06.680 So you guys go to work and we don't realize that you're having a terrible time.

00:24:10.280 Like we think you're having fun.

00:24:11.600 So that's why we had to join work.

00:24:13.320 Cause we're like, what?

00:24:14.180 They get to have fun.

00:24:15.060 I want to have fun too.

00:24:17.000 And now we're crying at work.

00:24:18.500 We're doing like TikToks crying in the car cause we don't want to work well.

00:24:22.560 And it's the same thing with divorce, right?

00:24:24.280 We'll see the women. 0.99

00:24:25.160 And even if it's not a fun divorce, we'll see them and be like, oh, that's so fun.

00:24:31.000 They're going out to eat, pray, love.

00:24:33.500 I want to eat, pray, love.

00:24:35.460 And we don't, what we don't see is the not getting called back.

00:24:38.720 The, all this, you know, BS, the, the ex-husband moving on to someone younger, hotter, better

00:24:44.360 in every way, humbling you.

00:24:46.640 You know, we don't see that.

00:24:47.580 We just see the, oh, a trip to Aruba.

00:24:49.380 I want to go on a trip to Aruba.

00:24:51.700 And then, yeah, we end up divorcing too.

00:24:54.260 So yeah, I hate to say it, fellas, but yep.

00:24:57.320 Then you're cooked.

00:24:58.280 Then you're cooked also.

00:24:59.220 With her husband, the same time as I was, a couple months into living here, she was

00:25:04.480 called me up and she's like, hey, I'm, this isn't working.

00:25:07.780 I think I'm going to leave my husband.

00:25:09.140 And I was like, okay, we'll come live with us.

00:25:11.700 It's three moms who are amazing moms.

00:25:15.620 And I think that's what makes all of it.

00:25:18.420 When they say I'm an amazing mom, that means they have to say it.

00:25:21.480 So their actions don't show it.

00:25:23.540 Every amazing mom that I know never has to say I'm an amazing mom, right?

00:25:27.260 It's always, they just are.

00:25:29.260 It's kind of like the guy that's rich.

00:25:30.500 He's like telling everyone he's rich.

00:25:31.640 He's not actually rich.

00:25:32.420 He's telling everyone he's rich.

00:25:33.600 It's so beautiful and so easy.

00:25:35.900 Like, I mean, I'm going through a divorce and yet I'm so happy and calm.

00:25:40.460 We all help each other with the kids.

00:25:43.400 We also all help each other with like just cleaning up the house or making dinner.

00:25:47.880 Like we like kind of just, oh, I'll cook this tonight or I'll cook this tonight.

00:25:51.440 And we make each other coffee in the morning.

00:25:54.340 Like it's so crazy.

00:25:56.260 Women never talk about emotional labor when living with other women, right? 0.99

00:26:00.000 So there's no counting the chores and saying I did this, you did that, you know, yada, yada, yada.

00:26:05.400 But when they do it for a man, it's like, that's when we start counting.

00:26:10.960 Like, it's just like we just like take care of each other.

00:26:13.580 The con is like I went from, and it's not even really a con, but it's just like I had one kid and now there's three kids in the house.

00:26:20.580 And so that can be a little bit loud.

00:26:22.560 House gets, gets noisy.

00:26:24.660 There's like two four-year-olds running around and then a one-year-old baby crying at the same time.

00:26:29.820 And like, it's just can be a lot.

00:26:31.660 We're very lucky in that our daughters, like our best friends, like it's crazy.

00:26:37.840 They get along so great.

00:26:39.080 Until the moms have a falling out and then they're going to be ripped apart from their best friend. 1.00

00:26:43.480 And like play together so great.

00:26:45.140 My biggest piece of advice is that you have to make sure that these people line up with your values.

00:26:53.380 Kind of who you are as a person, I just think is so important.

00:26:56.360 I think this whole situation could have gone so differently if there was tension in the house, bad energy, or just somebody who didn't align with how I kind of feel and live my life.

00:27:07.520 You have to really make sure that you know, like one, that your parenting styles are similar, that your views and your beliefs on things are similar, and that you trust those people because like they're going to be around.

00:27:22.060 Yeah, we're cooked.

00:27:23.200 Cooked.

00:27:24.020 That's the future.

00:27:25.000 I'm telling you, that's, that's the future.

00:27:28.300 We're already in it.

00:27:29.260 We're already watching this go on as I'm, I'm the youngest millennial.

00:27:33.040 I'm two months away from Gen Z.

00:27:34.920 I kind of wish I was.

00:27:35.920 I'd feel younger, you know, but that's, that's what's going to happen.

00:27:43.000 And people think I'm blackpilled or a doomer, but I'm like, do you guys not have eyes?

00:27:46.780 You don't see everyone getting divorced.

00:27:48.860 You don't see people like, it's like 10 year relationships.

00:27:52.060 That's what we're kind of in.

00:27:53.320 It's like a subscription model instead of a marriage model.

00:27:56.740 Like, I don't know.

00:27:57.760 And do you know what's crazy?

00:27:58.680 The people that always call me blackpill are always divorced.

00:28:01.900 That's, that's, that's the crazy thing.

00:28:04.460 It's like, they don't, it's like two plus two equals four, right?

00:28:08.120 Their parents will be divorced.

00:28:10.400 They'll have gone through a divorce and then they'll say, Pearl, you're so blackpilled. 1.00

00:28:14.400 I'm like, what did you do?

00:28:15.720 You did a subscription model.

00:28:17.780 Or the women, it's like, what happened to your ex-boyfriend?

00:28:20.840 Where is he?

00:28:22.040 They'll be like, oh, I believe in marriage.

00:28:24.320 Where's your ex-boyfriend?

00:28:25.960 Well, we weren't married.

00:28:27.040 Well, were you throwing it back?

00:28:28.540 Yeah.

00:28:29.140 Oh, okay.

00:28:30.560 So I guess it's not that special, is it?

00:28:32.760 Um, John says, except for you, Pearl, 95% of women are bought and pay for it and can't 1.00

00:28:38.840 be trusted.

00:28:40.380 Well, your kids a lot and, you know, basically helping raise your children and your children

00:28:45.080 are going to be like watching them and learning from them.

00:28:47.380 And so someone said in the chat, I hope Pearl doesn't hit the wall.

00:28:50.800 Well, I got to do it eventually.

00:28:53.020 I'm going to age like, I'm going to be 70 and still got it.

00:28:57.720 I mean, I, you know what, I reacted to something today, which was a 72-year-old hooker. 1.00

00:29:09.960 She did not still have it, but someone did it.

00:29:12.720 Like, it's got to be someone that you align with and values and trust and you would, you

00:29:18.300 feel safe letting your children.

00:29:19.920 Yeah.

00:29:20.100 And now here's the thing.

00:29:21.020 So single mothers, we all know are whores, right? 1.00

00:29:22.960 So they're all going to be throwing it back and bringing these random men into the house.

00:29:26.800 And now this is like, got to be a father's worst nightmare.

00:29:30.200 He's like, cause you all know that if there was like a horometer, right?

00:29:34.920 If there was like a, like, I don't believe that all women are equal sluts in a friend 1.00

00:29:41.100 group.

00:29:41.480 That's not what I've seen.

00:29:43.300 But what I can say is usually there's somebody putting out in a friend group because a group

00:29:47.880 of guys is not going to hang out with a group of women unless somebody's putting out. 0.91

00:29:52.840 So someone in the friend group is doing it.

00:29:54.880 And whoever's doing it is going to try to pull all the others towards her.

00:30:00.560 So she's constantly going to be trying to get the others to be whores. 1.00

00:30:04.480 And naturally that's like our natural inclination for, I, you know, that's just what we want

00:30:10.140 to do.

00:30:10.880 Now there are women that understand there's consequences for doing that. 1.00

00:30:14.200 So we don't, right?

00:30:15.180 But when you have women getting cancer diagnosis and divorcing their husband and throwing it

00:30:20.100 back for a hundred men rather than be with their husband, this is a trend. 0.97

00:30:24.280 This is kind of, we're going to do a show on this later, but what does that tell you?

00:30:30.500 You know, I covered a 72 year old hooker. 1.00

00:30:33.100 She didn't have sex for 40 years and then was like, I'm going to start throwing it back. 0.99

00:30:37.260 So that's what I can say.

00:30:40.220 If you get a group of women, they're one of them and it could be your wife. 1.00

00:30:44.120 You're, you're not really going to know which one's the super slut, right? 1.00

00:30:47.200 You guys marry women that you think are great and they turn out to be super slut. 1.00

00:30:51.040 So you're not really going to know, but there's a super slut in the group that's pulling them. 1.00

00:30:55.000 And the longer they're together, the more bad decisions will happen, right?

00:31:00.520 Because one girl in the group is going to get the Botox and then the other girls are like, 0.97

00:31:04.520 I want Botox.

00:31:05.920 Then, you know, then they do it, right?

00:31:07.840 One girl in the group is going to be like, I want to travel.

00:31:10.080 I want to go on all these trips.

00:31:11.040 And the other girls are going to be like, I want to go on these trips. 1.00

00:31:13.120 And there's no guy to be like, Hey, how are you going to pay for that?

00:31:16.260 And then there's one woman that's going to file bankruptcy. 1.00

00:31:18.340 And the other girls are like, I'm going to file bankruptcy too and just run on my credit cards.

00:31:23.200 Right?

00:31:23.520 So that's kind of how it works.

00:31:25.940 So this has got to be a living nightmare for the men because these are all cute women, right? 0.83

00:31:30.400 They're all, I know you guys, these are woods for you.

00:31:34.220 These are woods.

00:31:34.860 You would do it.

00:31:35.880 So if they're woods, then what's going to happen is one of them is going to be thrown it back.

00:31:42.660 There's going to be a rotation of men.

00:31:44.860 And then it's also going to, what also is going to happen is they're going to bring over,

00:31:49.700 then the one girl is going to see the other girl bringing home men. 1.00

00:31:53.960 And then the other girl is going to be like, I want to do that. 0.99

00:31:56.560 And then they all start doing it.

00:31:58.160 Right?

00:31:59.200 Then I'm going to take this one step further.

00:32:01.640 So what's going to happen next is then they're going to sleep with the same guy somehow because

00:32:11.000 obviously the town's not too big, the city.

00:32:13.380 Some Chad is running through.

00:32:15.220 He's waiting, right?

00:32:16.180 He's waiting.

00:32:16.820 There's some Chad that has a script for single mothers.

00:32:20.140 He's probably going to give them a really nice script on the first date.

00:32:23.600 Like he's open to being a stepdad.

00:32:26.240 He's not, but he's going to get that poonanny, right? 1.00

00:32:31.620 So he has this waiting for them, this script.

00:32:35.440 And then, yeah, long story short, they're going to fall for it.

00:32:40.220 Then they're going to fight over a guy. 1.00

00:32:42.460 And then they're going to break up.

00:32:43.820 Then the kids are going to be devastated because they lost their best friend.

00:32:46.760 And then they'll just find the next one.

00:32:48.720 So that's how it goes.

00:32:50.100 Be around them.

00:32:52.280 Okay.

00:32:52.680 Let's see what we got next up here.

00:32:55.620 We got older women in Australia also living together. 1.00

00:32:59.300 These women have come to see what their future. 1.00

00:33:01.600 Yeah.

00:33:01.940 So this is, so remember, it's all fun and games after the first divorce, right?

00:33:06.740 Now, I'm not going to pretend that single mothers have no shot at redemption, right? 0.64

00:33:13.660 It's when they look like this and they're a single mother. 0.93

00:33:16.680 Like the question is, how hot is she? 1.00

00:33:19.420 How hot is she? 1.00

00:33:20.580 How pleasant is she to be around?

00:33:23.580 And how old is the kid?

00:33:25.740 You know, like if she got pregnant at 15 and she's 32 and that kid's 17, a lot of guys aren't really going to care, right?

00:33:36.320 They're going to be like, okay, the kid's, I mean, the kid's not really a problem.

00:33:41.420 Like I knew a guy who was pretty successful guy.

00:33:44.700 And he said the woman that he loved more than any other woman he dated was a single mom.

00:33:49.860 But he said the kid was a 16-year-old good kid who had like no problems at school.

00:33:56.480 He had his own group of friends.

00:33:57.680 So it wasn't really like a problem, right?

00:34:00.400 But if you have a two-year-old in tow, so the younger you get divorced, the better shot you got, right?

00:34:09.380 And you can also be a second wife depending on how old the kid is, right? 0.88

00:34:14.140 Because, you know, if a guy, if he's divorced, right, and he doesn't want any kids, if he goes with a childless woman, the problem is she's eventually going to want a kid.

00:34:28.240 Probably, right?

00:34:29.860 She might say she doesn't, but, you know, eventually it'll come to it.

00:34:33.420 Where if he gets the single mother, she may be done. 1.00

00:34:37.160 She may be.

00:34:37.680 I'm not saying she will be.

00:34:38.800 I'm just saying this is the things that guys are going to think about if you're hot enough.

00:34:42.600 But these women aren't pulling shit. 1.00

00:34:44.520 I mean, somebody's going to do it, right?

00:34:46.320 But at this point, they might as well be escorts with this lady I covered earlier today.

00:34:51.080 It's going to be released next week.

00:34:52.800 You'll see the video.

00:34:53.520 They might as well just be an escort because, yeah, nobody's doing that.

00:34:58.080 And, like, thinking I want to protect and provide and come home to that.

00:35:02.160 It could look like.

00:35:03.400 Hello.

00:35:04.340 It's a new medium-density social housing development on the Gold Coast.

00:35:09.120 Oh, my goodness.

00:35:09.980 Look at your own little seating area in here.

00:35:12.440 It's similar to the type of accommodation they're hoping will solve a problem these women share, housing insecurity. 1.00

00:35:19.020 In an all-too-familiar story, Maggie Shambrook had a successful career and single-handedly raised three children.

00:35:26.040 Then, redundancy hit.

00:35:28.860 I had no success in the private rental market because I was then on New Start Allowance.

00:35:34.360 With no hope of ever owning it.

00:35:36.940 Translation, I didn't save it all.

00:35:38.520 I had a very successful career, and I saved nothing.

00:35:41.740 And now I am facing the consequences for my actions, which society never lets me do until I'm old, ugly, and used up.

00:35:49.140 And now they've got to figure out what to do with these old single ladies. 1.00

00:35:52.140 Yep.

00:35:52.300 In their own home, the women sought the help of a newly formed foundation, sharing with friends.

00:35:58.660 After meeting at a workshop, they've decided to pool what little superannuation they have to secure their futures.

00:36:05.620 They require $120,000 in capital.

00:36:09.400 Now, that buys you nothing in terms of a house in any other private market.

00:36:15.920 Their investment pays for the construction of affordable, purpose-built accommodation with five private living quarters, communal laundry.

00:36:24.080 This is the future.

00:36:25.660 Yeah.

00:36:26.100 I mean, you kind of see this in retirement neighborhoods.

00:36:28.240 Like, I have a relative who was married later in life, and this relative, the husband basically met the woman because he moved into a retirement neighborhood where he wanted to, he wanted to, like, meet the single ladies because there's a lot in retirement homes.

00:36:46.960 We outlive men.

00:36:47.960 And, you know, when I was in high school, they sent me to, I got in trouble for something through a party, I know.

00:36:54.120 And it was, like, 10 people.

00:36:57.100 But let me tell you, my parents made it seem like World War III.

00:37:01.040 Like, do you know what?

00:37:02.380 They left me home alone for two summers in a row, okay, when I was in high school.

00:37:06.340 Like, a month and a half at a time because I played travel volleyball.

00:37:09.080 I did nothing.

00:37:10.520 Nothing.

00:37:10.960 Thank you for the super chat, Doug.

00:37:12.740 Nothing for two years.

00:37:14.620 No boys, no parties.

00:37:15.720 And the last year, I was, like, I'm going to have a little shindig, right? 0.73

00:37:18.940 So I threw this party.

00:37:20.480 And it was, like, 10, 20 people.

00:37:22.780 But let me tell you, I'm from a Catholic area.

00:37:24.900 They acted like this was Project X.

00:37:27.080 They really did.

00:37:28.360 And I got caught.

00:37:29.320 And do you know how I got caught?

00:37:30.580 I got caught in the dumbest way.

00:37:32.900 So my dad, he sat me down.

00:37:36.080 He's, like, I found beer in the back.

00:37:37.920 Like, there was a beer, like, full of beer cans, a bag full of beer.

00:37:42.980 And I thought he was messing with me because we didn't drink beer.

00:37:45.420 Look, I'm a shots-only type of gal.

00:37:48.900 Or, like, I drink beer now, but I was in high school, right?

00:37:52.380 And do you know what happened?

00:37:55.320 These assholes came back.

00:37:57.040 So I went to go join my parents on vacation.

00:38:00.280 And these assholes came back and threw another party when I left and left a mess in the garbage can.

00:38:07.100 And so I got grounded.

00:38:09.660 I got grounded.

00:38:11.000 And I got in trouble because these assholes that I invited, that I thought were my friends at the time, came back and threw a party and left evidence.

00:38:23.440 What an L.

00:38:25.120 Anyway, and I know.

00:38:26.720 I know.

00:38:27.640 I know.

00:38:28.080 So then they acted like this was World War III.

00:38:33.180 I mean, it was rightfully so.

00:38:35.320 But I'll tell you, the over-exaggerations I got after this.

00:38:39.240 Like, they would, like, my parents for years would call this, like, Hannah threw this big party.

00:38:46.420 And I'm like, okay.

00:38:47.420 It was, like, 10 people.

00:38:48.280 I was way too scared to do a real rager.

00:38:51.020 And do you know what's crazy?

00:38:52.160 My next two siblings threw ragers all the time.

00:38:55.420 Nothing.

00:38:56.960 Freaking nothing.

00:38:58.120 I was the only one.

00:39:00.320 I got sent to live with my grandma in Wisconsin for half the summer in the middle of nowhere.

00:39:07.460 And then my little brother, I came back once.

00:39:11.360 And he's playing beer pong in the living room.

00:39:14.380 He's throwing these rags.

00:39:15.520 There's, like, 30, like, I don't want to, like, my little brother, I could tell you crazy.

00:39:21.100 He was wild.

00:39:21.840 He had these crazy stories.

00:39:23.540 And do you know who didn't get in trouble?

00:39:25.240 Him.

00:39:27.320 Parents get older and they just stop giving enough.

00:39:29.800 They're like, whatever.

00:39:31.140 Have sex. 0.81

00:39:32.120 Just make sure I don't hear it.

00:39:35.300 Invite the people over.

00:39:37.360 Boys can do it.

00:39:38.260 No, no.

00:39:38.900 I had a sister who did the same thing.

00:39:41.400 I was the only one.

00:39:42.840 I was the only one.

00:39:43.340 Anyways.

00:39:47.460 I'm not salty, but I'm just saying.

00:39:50.080 I was a relatively good kid in high school.

00:39:53.420 Like, I really, I didn't drink at all until this party.

00:39:56.660 Anyway.

00:39:57.180 I know.

00:39:57.540 And then my haters will, like, use this against me.

00:39:59.660 And they'll be like, see, do you remember that thing you did in high school?

00:40:02.380 They're like women. 1.00

00:40:03.300 They just live in the past.

00:40:04.940 Now, anyways.

00:40:05.600 Anyways, we're going to read this.

00:40:08.320 Watch this video.

00:40:09.540 A library and garden.

00:40:11.860 I was really trying to work out.

00:40:13.680 Oh, I didn't even get to the point, like a woman. 1.00

00:40:16.220 So my point was, my point was this.

00:40:18.360 So when I went to my grandma's house, I got to see firsthand widow dating. 0.99

00:40:24.140 And so these were women that were, like, older. 0.99

00:40:27.240 But you see, women will always reenter the dating pool. 1.00

00:40:29.740 If you think your wife is, like, not going to have sex after you die, you are sadly forsaken.

00:40:37.280 These women were throwing it back. 1.00

00:40:38.560 They got nothing to lose.

00:40:39.540 They don't give a shit about chlamydia.

00:40:40.900 They're almost dead.

00:40:42.560 Do you know what I mean?

00:40:43.440 So, but it was interesting because they would be dating.

00:40:45.860 And I would sit because I had to DD for my grandma and her friends.

00:40:49.880 And I would take them to, like, a karaoke bar, right?

00:40:52.680 And they would tell their, like, dating stories, right?

00:40:55.620 And let me tell you, it was interesting the problems that they would have with dating.

00:41:02.560 It was, like, things you wouldn't think about.

00:41:03.820 Like, they would be dating a man and he would die.

00:41:06.460 So imagine you're, like, going on a third date.

00:41:08.460 You're excited for a fourth date.

00:41:09.680 And then you hear he's dead.

00:41:11.340 They would, like, they would get cancer.

00:41:13.720 You know, that is what you're dealing with, the dating pool.

00:41:17.640 And then they would, like, not want to date men their age.

00:41:20.000 It's like women, right? 1.00

00:41:20.940 You're old as hell. 0.87

00:41:22.760 They'd be like, I don't want to date someone old. 1.00

00:41:24.560 And I'm like, huh?

00:41:27.840 Do you know what I mean?

00:41:28.720 Anyways, I'm going to continue.

00:41:30.300 What's the least you need to live privately?

00:41:33.840 And then what would you be prepared to share with other people that you've got to know?

00:41:37.880 The foundation, which is currently seeking charitable status, provides the land, an 800 square meter suburban...

00:41:45.700 Pearl feels no accountability for the party.

00:41:47.940 No, it was my fault.

00:41:49.140 All I'm saying, I'm going to be a woman.

00:41:51.480 I don't care.

00:41:52.000 I'm going to do it.

00:41:52.500 I'm going to double down.

00:41:53.240 All I'm saying is there was no equal punishment distribution in my house.

00:42:00.240 And I think older kids in the family can really relate to this.

00:42:04.400 It's like when you're the older ones, it's like you do anything.

00:42:07.520 They crack the whip.

00:42:09.400 The whip is cracked.

00:42:11.020 But it's like by the youngest, the parents are so tired.

00:42:13.800 They just don't care.

00:42:15.400 They don't.

00:42:15.940 They really don't.

00:42:16.540 Or he passed away during the sex acts.

00:42:22.180 Look, I don't know.

00:42:23.060 I didn't ask that question.

00:42:24.260 I was like, I was 18 at the time.

00:42:26.920 On the base of about 120 women who are actively prepared to come into a model like ours.

00:42:34.920 The idea not only provides a housing solution, but also addresses another epidemic, loneliness.

00:42:41.640 I don't have any family at all.

00:42:45.240 And so the sense of community is important as far as I'm concerned.

00:42:50.260 There are still hurdles to overcome, but these women now have hope for a brighter tomorrow. 1.00

00:42:56.320 Daya Clark, ABC News.

00:42:58.020 Yeah, so that's what we got.

00:43:04.360 So anyways, guys, that's the future.

00:43:09.980 That's what we're going for.

00:43:12.020 So let me know what you guys think in the comments.

00:43:16.280 Please like the video on your way out.

00:43:18.560 Please subscribe to the channel.

00:43:19.860 And yeah, you know, I will see you guys next show.

00:43:30.460 I think I read all the super chats.

00:43:32.280 Let me read on the website.

00:43:36.460 Like the video, subscribe, and I'm going to see you guys tomorrow.

00:43:40.200 Bye-bye.

00:43:49.860 Bye-bye.

00:44:19.860 Bye-bye.

00:44:49.860 Bye-bye.

JustPearlyThings - April 09, 2025

Women Aren't Dating Men Because Of Their Friends ｜ Pearl Daily

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