Women Aren't Dating Men Because Of Their Friends ｜ Pearl Daily
Episode Stats
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Summary
7 Reasons Why Women Choose Their Friends Over Their Boyfriends. Today's episode is all about why women choose their friends over their boyfriends and why it's better to spend more time with your friends than with your significant other.
Transcript
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So I was out in Chicago the other day, and I started a conversation with a couple of young women about the dating scene.
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During the conversation, the women were talking about how they don't put effort towards dating men because they would rather hang out with women.
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I heard them talk about how much easier it is to go to a club or hang out with the girls or go on a trip with their girlfriends than to put themselves out there in the dating market to find a boyfriend or a husband.
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We are four generations into women being told that they don't need men.
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Modern women have forgotten what men bring to the table in relationships, the comfort, the security, and the presence of a masculine man.
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Men have civilized the world so much that women can live alone or with other women.
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Packs of women can roam the streets without fear of anything bad happening to them.
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And three, women hanging out with their girls is a short-term solution to a long-term problem that can lead to disaster.
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Modern women are giving away their best years to colleges, jobs, and now their girlfriends.
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It's only a matter of time where most of these women will want to be with a man.
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But by the time they realize that, it'll be too late.
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So you can see on social media, women swearing that they will never leave their friends for a man.
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That they have time with their girls or they can go on girls' trips.
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But what I would say to them is, you can't marry your girlfriends.
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Well, I mean, some might, but you can't have kids with your girlfriends.
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Your girlfriends won't provide for you and protect you.
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And also, like I say on my channel all the time, women can't stand each other.
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If you ask most women who has done the worst, most down-low thing to them, it's usually other women.
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And I believe that a woman has more of a chance of getting betrayed by their girlfriends in a 20-year period than by their husbands.
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Lastly, most women can count on their friends being there for them in their old age.
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Is this the type of life that women want to live?
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So we're going to start with seven reasons why women choose their friends over a man or over boyfriends.
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So, okay, seven reasons why girls choose friends over boyfriends.
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The tiff between friends and boyfriends is never-ending.
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Have you guys ever dated a woman and felt like you had to date her whole friend group?
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Because every time you guys have a fight, she goes to the friend group.
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You have to tell your side to the friend group.
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The former has been with her through all the rollercoaster rides of life, while the other
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To choose between these two gems has never been easy, but it seems girls value friendship
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So before you get into a relationship with your dream girl, make sure she doesn't have
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I mean, definitely not the one in Payar Kapunchamana.
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Have a look at the reasons which convey why girls are inclined to move more towards their
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As you never know, these might act as best relationship tips for you.
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Once a girl has chosen her soul sister, dare you replace her?
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They might fight like cats, but in hard times, you would watch them being each other's back.
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Oh, just to be clear, a girl never finds a soul brother in her male friend.
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Fights with best friends are free from any knots, whereas single friends with the boyfriend
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Number two, deeply entrenched in each other's lives.
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Friends have stuck for her for obviously a longer period of time, and anybody would place
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From her grunge and gross dress up as a team to perfectly dressed adult, they have seen it
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all, although there's no denial that boyfriends can do romantic things to melt their woman's
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When compared to long hours spent with their boyfriends, even a few minutes with friends,
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Yeah, because do you know the same way you guys have to lie to us to make us happy?
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There's this idea that being honest has a good relationship.
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Then the men would say, I want to fuck your friend.
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Because, or the sister, or the mother, whoever the hell it is.
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The same way women, we don't say, my ex was better than you.
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Or we don't say, you know, we don't, we don't say uncomfortable truths like our body can.
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So anyways, yeah, so of course she can be more honest and relaxed with the girlfriend.
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Anyway, she's an open book in front of her friends.
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Moreover, she can share anything and everything with them.
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Therefore, being loyal is not a big task for her.
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Until women use that honesty against each other and destroy their reputation and ruin their life.
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After all the pebbles that life has thrown at her, she's got her friends to bring her back together.
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Boyfriends might be the ex, but friends are never getting older.
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So it's the scolding of her parents or a fight with a boyfriend.
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She can be drenched in foolishness and still no one would judge her.
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I mean, this is, yeah, women can be more annoying with each other.
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Where you might tell her to shut the fuck up, right?
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They have their own humorous dancing on the world's weirdest yet funniest songs.
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Her A-rated talks find a higher level when she is with the gang.
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Most of the fights in a relationship revolve around the space each partner need.
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The quarrel over minimal things result in a tensed atmosphere.
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But with friends, you need no space as you already have the freedom of speech and action.
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Friends spend long hours in her house doing nothing as if it is their own house and her parents and their parents.
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Also, with passing days, they become a large part of the family.
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On the other hand, she needs to think a hundred times about bringing her boyfriends to meet her parents.
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Yeah, so women are even making articles about choosing their friends over a man.
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Believe women themselves as we make TikToks saying the same exact thing.
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Guys, don't ditch your friends for a boyfriend.
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Especially now that I'm 27 and I'm still seeing a lot of women do that.
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Look, you're, first off, if your boyfriend is isolating you from your friends, red flag, leave.
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Of course it's the fat girl saying this, of course.
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You don't need to do everything with your partner.
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Can you imagine her telling you this all the time?
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It's like we behave badly and then just brag about it.
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You gotta, you gotta think it like that, girls.
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Cause I see sometimes here some things that concern me and I need y'all to stand up.
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So that's, that's womanese for I don't like my boyfriend that much.
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When they say I need, I, you know, it's like when a woman really likes a guy, she begs,
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But when she says, I want you, I don't need you.
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She's going to talk about how after 30 friendships have a harder time.
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After 30, if you have a whole bunch of friends, I'm looking at you sideways.
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Female friendships is one of the most hardest things to maintain besides your bills.
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You can maintain a relationship with a man more than you can maintain with a female.
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I used to think back in the day, like if you didn't have friends or if you didn't have
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You can have acquaintances, but I'm talking about like actual friends.
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After 30, I can stand hard on like two good friends.
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And all you need is like one good best friend and like, you're good.
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But I can't be friends with a girl who has all these friends.
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The problem is the more like friends a woman has, the more she can manipulate them against
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Okay, so why you should never choose a man over your female friends.
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A couple of years ago, my best friend was arguing with her boyfriend about me.
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This guy, oh no, this guy was a grade A, of course, emotionally abusive tool bag.
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Without going too far into the details of their relationship, I'll say he had made it his
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mission to drive a wedge between my friend and me.
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Despite the fact I lived thousands of miles away, he saw me as a man.
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Anyways, one night, my friend, I'll call her Tara, and I had an especially hilarious conversation
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The tool bag, who I'll call T-Bag, did not like this.
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In the midst of our laughter, Tara whispered, oh shit, I gotta go.
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I tried to get in touch with a mutual friend to check on her.
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But since it was late in the U.S., I couldn't find anyone.
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About 30 minutes later, she called me back, her voice hushed and thick sounding.
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Put what you think really happened in the chat.
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He said, Luis will never choose you over her husband.
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In that moment, several things became obvious to me.
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Friends and I had tried to eject him from her life before.
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But things were escalating and she had to get out now.
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A short while later, Tara's relocation was orchestrated by friends and family.
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While I could not be there, we were in almost constant contact as she extricated T-Bag from her life.
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So yeah, again, usually when a guy has boundaries, standards, or really asks anything of a woman,
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that's when everyone in her life will try to get her to leave him.
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Anna on the chat says, I would choose my husband over female friends if I had to.
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If you guys do have a question, comment, or concern, you do get unlimited comments on the website.
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There is room in my heart for both my husband and the woman I love.
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The love is not the exact same thing, but take one away and I would be incomplete.
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So often I think it's an expectation that once a woman is married, her friends, especially other female friends, become secondary.
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I often encounter this idea among friends, acquaintances, or family, that when a woman who marries a man, the marriage consumes her.
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Yeah, because if you have a kid, it's like, are you going to go to the club with your friends or read your kid a bedtime story?
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Being a grown-up married woman somehow means that a woman's husband should be her best friend, her lover, her soulmate, or everything.
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But how could one person be another person's everything?
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Frankly, that's a lot of pressure, and I can't imagine being another person's everything.
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I'm happy that I'm not my husband's everything, nor is he mine.
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This is a conversation that is changing, but even when I was in the process of managing my life with my husbands three years ago,
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there was a bit of worry in the back of my head that somehow I'd lose myself, my friendships, or that I was expected to.
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But the truth is, without my female friendships, I wouldn't know a thing about love.
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The first person I ever got a love letter from, arguably the only person, was my friend Liz.
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We'd been best friends since high school, went to colleges very far apart, and were very lonely one spring break.
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Neither of us could afford to go home, and as we sat in our dorm rooms in different parts of the country, we longed for each other's comfort.
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In her letter, she talked about relationships and crushes, friends, and intimacy.
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Sometimes I'm somebody else with other people, just like you are.
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You're the only person I've ever wanted to write a love letter to.
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In that precarious time when we were trying to figure out adulthood and how to be in adult relationships,
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Liz and the depth of my acquaintance and appreciation for each other's greatness and shortcomings
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Through boyfriends and girlfriends, Liz and my relationship was always the benchmark of
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how I deserve to be loved for and cared for by anybody.
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I remember being in a relationship where I was tactically, or not so tactically, asked
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To alter fundamental things about myself, these relationships always began to sour as soon
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as I'd remember Liz and think, is this not how I want to be loved?
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Decades later, I still think of Liz's words when I'm confronted with questions of honesty
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The first time I said I love you and I meant it was to my friend Beth.
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I'd said to people before, but I always felt a nagging guilt about it.
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Beth was and is one of those friends who would never lie to you, no matter how painful it is
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We worked in the same office when I was in my early 20s, and we became fast friends over
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the hatred of scanning photos and having to take notes at production meetings.
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What struck me and scared me about Beth is that she was immediately able to see through
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While I usually could charm people into forgiving my forgetfulness or selfishness, she wouldn't
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You're not a shitty person, but sometimes you really act like one.
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She said to me one night after I had behaved especially lousy.
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I don't remember all the details, but it involved her waiting for me for hours while
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I could shrink off most others' anger, but when Beth looked at me, it wasn't anger.
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What we had it out that night amidst the tears and the frustration, I realized that Beth
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was angry because she cared enough to hold me accountable for my actions.
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Though I didn't like to see it in myself, she saw me as somebody better than the
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After the dust settled, I offered the most sincere apology I had ever given up, given
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While Beth accepted and hugged me, I told her I loved her and the first time I meant it
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While I felt like I had my armor torn away, I never lost my trust in Beth and I'd never
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That night, I added holding the person you love accountable even when it hurts to my mental
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Over the years, I've had many experiences that have shaped what love meant to me.
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Some were with men, romantic or platonic, but the majority has been with friends who
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And although I've learned a lot about love in the 10 years that someone in a physical
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relationship reveals things that aren't always uncovered in friendship, I find myself
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reaching for the lesson on love I've learned from the women in my life rather than past romantic
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This is not to say that women's friendships are in service to the ultimate payoff of marriage,
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I'm not even really saying that this is entirely unique to women's friendships.
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I've just found that it is women who I feel a distinct kinship with.
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For me, the ultimate payoff is that every time true love touches you, you learn a little bit
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I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but if she's got a thought friend, you're cooked.
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I don't have one person in my life who's my everything, but the people I've chosen to
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Yeah, so here we got women talking about how, why you should never choose a man over your
00:22:39.020
And I just want to show you guys how this, in essence, plays out.
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Like, what is the long-term ramifications of this?
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Well, what we're going to see is a lot of female community living together.
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So you're going to see women sharing apartments, sharing community homes, and single mothers
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And then they're going to break up, blow up, and then women will go on to the next parasite.
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After dealing with divorce, Tessa Geider and Christian Bait-Tekifer decided to raise their
00:23:17.540
So it's like a play on, like, mother and community, like mom you, and like, it's so
00:23:22.800
a community of moms living together under one roof, helping each other raise children
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So the backstory is, I found out that my husband was cheating on me for a year, and I left
00:23:35.920
And then my friends were like, hey, you guys can come live with us while you're figuring
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And then my best friend also went through an equally terrible year.
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Like, yeah, when one friend did the divorce, like when one girl in the friend group gets
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Especially if she's having like a good, if she's having fun, women hate being left out
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We hate, like, that's why, like, this is kind of how our brains work.
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So you guys go to work and we don't realize that you're having a terrible time.
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We're doing like TikToks crying in the car cause we don't want to work well.
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And even if it's not a fun divorce, we'll see them and be like, oh, that's so fun.
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And we don't, what we don't see is the not getting called back.
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The, all this, you know, BS, the, the ex-husband moving on to someone younger, hotter, better
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With her husband, the same time as I was, a couple months into living here, she was
00:25:04.480
called me up and she's like, hey, I'm, this isn't working.
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When they say I'm an amazing mom, that means they have to say it.
00:25:23.540
Every amazing mom that I know never has to say I'm an amazing mom, right?
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Like, I mean, I'm going through a divorce and yet I'm so happy and calm.
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We also all help each other with like just cleaning up the house or making dinner.
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Like we like kind of just, oh, I'll cook this tonight or I'll cook this tonight.
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Women never talk about emotional labor when living with other women, right?
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So there's no counting the chores and saying I did this, you did that, you know, yada, yada, yada.
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But when they do it for a man, it's like, that's when we start counting.
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Like, it's just like we just like take care of each other.
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The con is like I went from, and it's not even really a con, but it's just like I had one kid and now there's three kids in the house.
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There's like two four-year-olds running around and then a one-year-old baby crying at the same time.
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We're very lucky in that our daughters, like our best friends, like it's crazy.
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Until the moms have a falling out and then they're going to be ripped apart from their best friend.
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My biggest piece of advice is that you have to make sure that these people line up with your values.
00:26:53.380
Kind of who you are as a person, I just think is so important.
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I think this whole situation could have gone so differently if there was tension in the house, bad energy, or just somebody who didn't align with how I kind of feel and live my life.
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You have to really make sure that you know, like one, that your parenting styles are similar, that your views and your beliefs on things are similar, and that you trust those people because like they're going to be around.
00:27:29.260
We're already watching this go on as I'm, I'm the youngest millennial.
00:27:35.920
I'd feel younger, you know, but that's, that's what's going to happen.
00:27:43.000
And people think I'm blackpilled or a doomer, but I'm like, do you guys not have eyes?
00:27:48.860
You don't see people like, it's like 10 year relationships.
00:27:53.320
It's like a subscription model instead of a marriage model.
00:27:58.680
The people that always call me blackpill are always divorced.
00:28:04.460
It's like, they don't, it's like two plus two equals four, right?
00:28:10.400
They'll have gone through a divorce and then they'll say, Pearl, you're so blackpilled.
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Or the women, it's like, what happened to your ex-boyfriend?
00:28:32.760
Um, John says, except for you, Pearl, 95% of women are bought and pay for it and can't
00:28:40.380
Well, your kids a lot and, you know, basically helping raise your children and your children
00:28:45.080
are going to be like watching them and learning from them.
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And so someone said in the chat, I hope Pearl doesn't hit the wall.
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I'm going to age like, I'm going to be 70 and still got it.
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I mean, I, you know what, I reacted to something today, which was a 72-year-old hooker.
00:29:12.720
Like, it's got to be someone that you align with and values and trust and you would, you
00:29:21.020
So single mothers, we all know are whores, right?
00:29:22.960
So they're all going to be throwing it back and bringing these random men into the house.
00:29:26.800
And now this is like, got to be a father's worst nightmare.
00:29:30.200
He's like, cause you all know that if there was like a horometer, right?
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If there was like a, like, I don't believe that all women are equal sluts in a friend
00:29:43.300
But what I can say is usually there's somebody putting out in a friend group because a group
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of guys is not going to hang out with a group of women unless somebody's putting out.
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And whoever's doing it is going to try to pull all the others towards her.
00:30:00.560
So she's constantly going to be trying to get the others to be whores.
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And naturally that's like our natural inclination for, I, you know, that's just what we want
00:30:10.880
Now there are women that understand there's consequences for doing that.
00:30:15.180
But when you have women getting cancer diagnosis and divorcing their husband and throwing it
00:30:20.100
back for a hundred men rather than be with their husband, this is a trend.
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This is kind of, we're going to do a show on this later, but what does that tell you?
00:30:33.100
She didn't have sex for 40 years and then was like, I'm going to start throwing it back.
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If you get a group of women, they're one of them and it could be your wife.
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You're, you're not really going to know which one's the super slut, right?
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You guys marry women that you think are great and they turn out to be super slut.
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So you're not really going to know, but there's a super slut in the group that's pulling them.
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And the longer they're together, the more bad decisions will happen, right?
00:31:00.520
Because one girl in the group is going to get the Botox and then the other girls are like,
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One girl in the group is going to be like, I want to travel.
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And the other girls are going to be like, I want to go on these trips.
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And there's no guy to be like, Hey, how are you going to pay for that?
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And then there's one woman that's going to file bankruptcy.
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And the other girls are like, I'm going to file bankruptcy too and just run on my credit cards.
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So this has got to be a living nightmare for the men because these are all cute women, right?
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They're all, I know you guys, these are woods for you.
00:31:35.880
So if they're woods, then what's going to happen is one of them is going to be thrown it back.
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And then it's also going to, what also is going to happen is they're going to bring over,
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then the one girl is going to see the other girl bringing home men.
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And then the other girl is going to be like, I want to do that.
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So what's going to happen next is then they're going to sleep with the same guy somehow because
00:32:16.820
There's some Chad that has a script for single mothers.
00:32:20.140
He's probably going to give them a really nice script on the first date.
00:32:26.240
He's not, but he's going to get that poonanny, right?
00:32:35.440
And then, yeah, long story short, they're going to fall for it.
00:32:43.820
Then the kids are going to be devastated because they lost their best friend.
00:32:55.620
We got older women in Australia also living together.
00:32:59.300
These women have come to see what their future.
00:33:01.940
So this is, so remember, it's all fun and games after the first divorce, right?
00:33:06.740
Now, I'm not going to pretend that single mothers have no shot at redemption, right?
00:33:13.660
It's when they look like this and they're a single mother.
00:33:25.740
You know, like if she got pregnant at 15 and she's 32 and that kid's 17, a lot of guys aren't really going to care, right?
00:33:36.320
They're going to be like, okay, the kid's, I mean, the kid's not really a problem.
00:33:41.420
Like I knew a guy who was pretty successful guy.
00:33:44.700
And he said the woman that he loved more than any other woman he dated was a single mom.
00:33:49.860
But he said the kid was a 16-year-old good kid who had like no problems at school.
00:34:00.400
But if you have a two-year-old in tow, so the younger you get divorced, the better shot you got, right?
00:34:09.380
And you can also be a second wife depending on how old the kid is, right?
00:34:14.140
Because, you know, if a guy, if he's divorced, right, and he doesn't want any kids, if he goes with a childless woman, the problem is she's eventually going to want a kid.
00:34:29.860
She might say she doesn't, but, you know, eventually it'll come to it.
00:34:33.420
Where if he gets the single mother, she may be done.
00:34:38.800
I'm just saying this is the things that guys are going to think about if you're hot enough.
00:34:46.320
But at this point, they might as well be escorts with this lady I covered earlier today.
00:34:53.520
They might as well just be an escort because, yeah, nobody's doing that.
00:34:58.080
And, like, thinking I want to protect and provide and come home to that.
00:35:04.340
It's a new medium-density social housing development on the Gold Coast.
00:35:12.440
It's similar to the type of accommodation they're hoping will solve a problem these women share, housing insecurity.
00:35:19.020
In an all-too-familiar story, Maggie Shambrook had a successful career and single-handedly raised three children.
00:35:28.860
I had no success in the private rental market because I was then on New Start Allowance.
00:35:38.520
I had a very successful career, and I saved nothing.
00:35:41.740
And now I am facing the consequences for my actions, which society never lets me do until I'm old, ugly, and used up.
00:35:49.140
And now they've got to figure out what to do with these old single ladies.
00:35:52.300
In their own home, the women sought the help of a newly formed foundation, sharing with friends.
00:35:58.660
After meeting at a workshop, they've decided to pool what little superannuation they have to secure their futures.
00:36:09.400
Now, that buys you nothing in terms of a house in any other private market.
00:36:15.920
Their investment pays for the construction of affordable, purpose-built accommodation with five private living quarters, communal laundry.
00:36:26.100
I mean, you kind of see this in retirement neighborhoods.
00:36:28.240
Like, I have a relative who was married later in life, and this relative, the husband basically met the woman because he moved into a retirement neighborhood where he wanted to, he wanted to, like, meet the single ladies because there's a lot in retirement homes.
00:36:47.960
And, you know, when I was in high school, they sent me to, I got in trouble for something through a party, I know.
00:36:57.100
But let me tell you, my parents made it seem like World War III.
00:37:02.380
They left me home alone for two summers in a row, okay, when I was in high school.
00:37:06.340
Like, a month and a half at a time because I played travel volleyball.
00:37:15.720
And the last year, I was, like, I'm going to have a little shindig, right?
00:37:37.920
Like, there was a beer, like, full of beer cans, a bag full of beer.
00:37:42.980
And I thought he was messing with me because we didn't drink beer.
00:37:48.900
Or, like, I drink beer now, but I was in high school, right?
00:38:00.280
And these assholes came back and threw another party when I left and left a mess in the garbage can.
00:38:11.000
And I got in trouble because these assholes that I invited, that I thought were my friends at the time, came back and threw a party and left evidence.
00:38:28.080
So then they acted like this was World War III.
00:38:35.320
But I'll tell you, the over-exaggerations I got after this.
00:38:39.240
Like, they would, like, my parents for years would call this, like, Hannah threw this big party.
00:38:52.160
My next two siblings threw ragers all the time.
00:39:00.320
I got sent to live with my grandma in Wisconsin for half the summer in the middle of nowhere.
00:39:15.520
There's, like, 30, like, I don't want to, like, my little brother, I could tell you crazy.
00:39:27.320
Parents get older and they just stop giving enough.
00:39:53.420
Like, I really, I didn't drink at all until this party.
00:39:57.540
And then my haters will, like, use this against me.
00:39:59.660
And they'll be like, see, do you remember that thing you did in high school?
00:40:13.680
Oh, I didn't even get to the point, like a woman.
00:40:18.360
So when I went to my grandma's house, I got to see firsthand widow dating.
00:40:24.140
And so these were women that were, like, older.
00:40:27.240
But you see, women will always reenter the dating pool.
00:40:29.740
If you think your wife is, like, not going to have sex after you die, you are sadly forsaken.
00:40:43.440
So, but it was interesting because they would be dating.
00:40:45.860
And I would sit because I had to DD for my grandma and her friends.
00:40:49.880
And I would take them to, like, a karaoke bar, right?
00:40:52.680
And they would tell their, like, dating stories, right?
00:40:55.620
And let me tell you, it was interesting the problems that they would have with dating.
00:41:03.820
Like, they would be dating a man and he would die.
00:41:06.460
So imagine you're, like, going on a third date.
00:41:13.720
You know, that is what you're dealing with, the dating pool.
00:41:17.640
And then they would, like, not want to date men their age.
00:41:22.760
They'd be like, I don't want to date someone old.
00:41:33.840
And then what would you be prepared to share with other people that you've got to know?
00:41:37.880
The foundation, which is currently seeking charitable status, provides the land, an 800 square meter suburban...
00:41:53.240
All I'm saying is there was no equal punishment distribution in my house.
00:42:00.240
And I think older kids in the family can really relate to this.
00:42:04.400
It's like when you're the older ones, it's like you do anything.
00:42:11.020
But it's like by the youngest, the parents are so tired.
00:42:26.920
On the base of about 120 women who are actively prepared to come into a model like ours.
00:42:34.920
The idea not only provides a housing solution, but also addresses another epidemic, loneliness.
00:42:45.240
And so the sense of community is important as far as I'm concerned.
00:42:50.260
There are still hurdles to overcome, but these women now have hope for a brighter tomorrow.
00:43:12.020
So let me know what you guys think in the comments.
00:43:19.860
And yeah, you know, I will see you guys next show.
00:43:36.460
Like the video, subscribe, and I'm going to see you guys tomorrow.