JustPearlyThings - July 16, 2023


Women Should Be Held ACCOUNTABLE For This


Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

217.22772

Word count

2,194

Sentence count

177

Harmful content

Misogyny

25

sentences flagged

Hate speech

16

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss the recent case of a woman who lied to her boyfriend about being on birth control and getting pregnant with his kid. We discuss the implications of this, and if the boyfriend should have any rights to the child.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Have any of you ever told a guy you were on birth control when you weren't?
00:00:06.000 Isn't that, like, kind of rapey?
00:00:10.000 Yeah.
00:00:11.000 Do you know what I mean?
00:00:13.000 No. Yeah, everyone, like, I think that you have to be transparent about that.
00:00:17.000 Have you ever heard of anyone doing that?
00:00:19.000 Yeah.
00:00:20.000 Yeah.
00:00:21.000 Yeah.
00:00:22.000 First hand.
00:00:23.000 Yeah.
00:00:24.000 Tell me, what did she do?
00:00:26.000 Yeah.
00:00:28.000 She told him that she was on and she wasn't, and she got what she wanted.
00:00:33.000 She got pregnant off of it? 1.00
00:00:34.000 Yeah.
00:00:35.000 Yikes.
00:00:36.000 Do you think that in that situation, since she lied, that he shouldn't have any rights
00:00:43.000 to the, or that he should be able to get rid of his rights to the kid?
00:00:47.000 I mean, no, because she lied.
00:00:49.000 So he was, he was performing off of something that, you know, off of the security that she
00:00:55.000 was on it.
00:00:56.000 And she wasn't.
00:00:57.000 So that kind of.
00:00:58.000 No, but I mean, so when he has the kid, or when she had, I'm assuming she had the kid.
00:01:02.000 Yes, she did.
00:01:03.000 Right.
00:01:04.000 So did, do you think that in that case that he should be able to sign off all rights?
00:01:10.000 Because he didn't want the kid to begin with.
00:01:12.000 I mean, when you say it like that, because it's, it's, it's in a way where it wasn't
00:01:17.000 his choice because had he known he wouldn't have made that choice.
00:01:21.000 Um, so when you say it like that, absolutely.
00:01:23.000 I mean, rightfully the kid's there at the end of the day.
00:01:27.000 So I mean, whether he wants it or not, unfortunately that's his seed, that's his future.
00:01:32.000 Um, but yeah, it is in his hands to make that decision.
00:01:37.000 Um, but then it comes into, do you want to be a father?
00:01:40.000 What type of father do you want to be to that kid that you weren't ready for?
00:01:43.000 But now you are a father now.
00:01:45.000 So, yeah.
00:01:46.000 What do you, who, who, who do you know that lied?
00:01:49.000 Oh, I, I know someone that got into a bad situation because they, um, well, they didn't
00:01:55.000 lie that they were on birth control, but they lied that they were bulimic.
00:01:58.000 Um, so they didn't disclose their bulimia.
00:02:01.000 So they're making themselves sick while taking birth control, um, which obviously makes it
00:02:05.000 ill effective.
00:02:06.000 Um, and she, she did get pregnant.
00:02:09.000 And did you keep it?
00:02:10.000 Yeah.
00:02:11.000 Yeah.
00:02:12.000 They, they worked things out and like they're a happy couple now, but, um, it was a big,
00:02:16.000 I lived with them.
00:02:17.000 It was a big point of contention at the time.
00:02:18.000 Do you, do you guys think that should be punishable as a crime?
00:02:21.000 I think it's.
00:02:22.000 Lying to a guy about birth control.
00:02:24.000 Definitely.
00:02:25.000 Yeah.
00:02:26.000 Yeah.
00:02:27.000 A hundred, a hundred percent.
00:02:28.000 Yeah.
00:02:29.000 You take accountability.
00:02:30.000 That's so, sorry.
00:02:31.000 I feel quite passionate.
00:02:32.000 Yeah.
00:02:33.000 It's so unfair on a man.
00:02:35.000 If, if you lie about it, like, obviously if an accident happens, it's an accident.
00:02:39.000 Right.
00:02:40.000 It's both, both parties fault.
00:02:41.000 But yeah, if you lie about it, then yeah, a hundred percent.
00:02:45.000 If it was like premeditated.
00:02:46.000 Yeah.
00:02:47.000 Exactly.
00:02:48.000 It's like coercion in a way.
00:02:49.000 It's similar to like essay of a woman.
00:02:51.000 If you lie about having an STD.
00:02:52.000 It's, I would say that's like a similar thing, but I don't think that means you should sign
00:02:56.000 away all rights to the baby.
00:02:57.000 It's not, it's not the baby's fault.
00:02:58.000 You know what I mean?
00:02:59.000 Yeah.
00:03:00.000 But you don't think if the woman has the right to get an abortion, he should have the right 0.96
00:03:04.000 to sign off his rights.
00:03:05.000 No.
00:03:06.000 Cause like, you don't think if the woman has a right not to be a mother, he should have 1.00
00:03:09.000 the right not to be a father, especially if he was coerced into doing it.
00:03:12.000 No, because I think if a woman, an abortion is different. 0.88
00:03:15.000 Sorry.
00:03:16.000 Like, so if, if a woman's great, I have to say great.
00:03:19.000 Do you, do you think she should be able to get an abortion? 0.94
00:03:21.000 Yeah.
00:03:22.000 But I think abortion is different to when the baby is at the point of a baby in your arms.
00:03:26.000 I think that that is your life responsibility.
00:03:28.000 And when you have sex in general, you take the risk, whether someone's lied to you about
00:03:32.000 the risk or not, isn't that that's a terrible thing to happen, but you still take the risk
00:03:35.000 of that 1% of, oh, this woman could get pregnant, even if you think she is on birth control. 1.00
00:03:39.000 But what if the woman wants to give up the kid for adoption? 1.00
00:03:41.000 Should she have that right? 0.97
00:03:43.000 Uh, not if the father wants to keep it.
00:03:45.000 No.
00:03:46.000 Yeah.
00:03:47.000 If the father wants the baby, the father should be able to have full custody and the woman 0.99
00:03:49.000 should pay chance for it.
00:03:50.000 No, but I'm saying, I'm saying if she wants to give up the kid for adoption, she should 0.92
00:03:53.000 be able to, right?
00:03:55.000 Yes.
00:03:56.000 But not if the father wants access.
00:03:57.000 Yeah.
00:03:58.000 But so I'm saying if he didn't sign up to be a father, like, why should he be forced
00:04:01.000 to?
00:04:02.000 Because isn't it like rewarding bad behavior?
00:04:04.000 No, I think that when every single time you have, every time I have sex with my boyfriend,
00:04:08.000 there is a small percentage chance that I could get pregnant.
00:04:11.000 And we both have sex knowing that that could happen.
00:04:13.000 When you do it with a stranger, you know that that's a small percentage.
00:04:15.000 Yeah, but the women, we're the only ones that can have all the information up front. 1.00
00:04:19.000 That's because it's our bodies.
00:04:20.000 Yeah.
00:04:21.000 But that's my point.
00:04:22.000 My point is like, there's no male birth control.
00:04:24.000 So women, we can, when we have sex, like we have all the information. 1.00
00:04:27.000 We know if we're ovulating, we know if we're going to take a plan B, we know if we're on
00:04:30.000 birth control.
00:04:31.000 Where the men, it's like they have the option condom or no condom.
00:04:35.000 But even with like plan B, that's not that effective because if you are, plan B only works
00:04:40.000 to delay ovulation.
00:04:42.000 So if you're ovulating at the time that you have sex, it does nothing.
00:04:45.000 Yeah, but there's 41 forms of birth control.
00:04:47.000 And you only can get pregnant like three days a month. 1.00
00:04:50.000 There's still, people do it all the time.
00:04:51.000 That's why 16 year olds are pregnant. 1.00
00:04:53.000 Pregnant, you know, it's never deliberate, is it?
00:04:57.000 I would beg to differ on that.
00:05:00.000 But I'm saying in this case, it was deliberate.
00:05:03.000 Yeah.
00:05:04.000 So it's just interesting because I feel like if he's not able to sign off his rights when
00:05:08.000 she does something wrong, like why wouldn't she just keep doing it? 0.52
00:05:11.000 Why wouldn't women just keep doing it? 1.00
00:05:12.000 I just, I don't think that that's a real problem.
00:05:14.000 I don't think women are actually doing that. 1.00
00:05:15.000 Oh my gosh.
00:05:16.000 You, you haven't seen the NBA.
00:05:18.000 The NBA issued statements telling the men to wear condoms because all these models 1.00
00:05:22.000 were lying to the men about being on birth.
00:05:25.000 Good.
00:05:26.000 It's a real issue.
00:05:27.000 I mean, do you think Drake wanted to get pregnant, a corn star pregnant? 0.99
00:05:29.000 That's like a very specific issue based on very, very wealthy men.
00:05:33.000 Like when you have a lot of wealth and you have a lot of like fame, you are obviously
00:05:37.000 at more risk of people taking you to court, of people abusing you in every single way.
00:05:40.000 So like, that's a very specific thing to NBA stars that like your average Joe.
00:05:44.000 But it happens to a lot of men that aren't NBA stars.
00:05:47.000 And I think there's a lot of men that are in, I'd say, comfortable positions that women
00:05:51.000 would want to be in that situation with them and see an opportunity.
00:05:55.000 I think, you know, there's a lot of women out there that sometimes even just get to a 1.00
00:05:59.000 state where they become selfish because they might receive news that they might not be
00:06:03.000 able to ovulate as much in the next two years or whatever the situation may be.
00:06:08.000 But for me, I think on both behalves, it is kind of selfish in a sense where I think it's
00:06:12.000 wrong when a woman does that anyway, because that's unfair on the child. 1.00
00:06:15.000 Forget about even the man's rights, the rights as a child to be able to be accessible and 0.96
00:06:20.000 my parents to both be accessible, I think is so important.
00:06:23.000 So me taking away the opportunity of my child having their father in their life before they're
00:06:28.000 even here is selfish.
00:06:30.000 So before we even get to a point of the man's rights, what about that child's rights?
00:06:34.000 It's 100%, you know?
00:06:38.000 You said you're passionate about it.
00:06:40.000 Why?
00:06:41.000 Yeah, I just don't like...
00:06:43.000 Do you know someone that's happened to?
00:06:45.000 Heard stories.
00:06:48.000 Yeah, I think it's happened to a couple of the boys actually.
00:06:51.000 But yeah, it's just something that is just so unfair.
00:06:55.000 And I just feel that, yeah, men just literally have no right at all.
00:07:00.000 They have no say.
00:07:01.000 And if it is something that's deliberate, for me, I just don't think a baby deserves
00:07:05.000 to be brought up in that type of world.
00:07:07.000 Especially if the father's not ready and it's come from a lie.
00:07:11.000 So I think the baby...
00:07:13.000 I think the dad should have a decision on, you know, what happens to unfortunately the baby.
00:07:18.000 Especially if you're both young.
00:07:19.000 But the dad has had a decision to put a condom on in the first place.
00:07:22.000 Right?
00:07:23.000 And she can poke holes on. 0.99
00:07:25.000 That's what it was.
00:07:26.000 Well, I mean, that's going to be pretty obvious, right?
00:07:29.000 If she's going to lie about being on birth control, then, you know, that does happen. 0.93
00:07:33.000 People do put pins through...
00:07:35.000 I know it's a rarity, but if you're going to go...
00:07:37.000 They steal condoms.
00:07:39.000 In that case, though, even if, like, a man is coerced into having that child, I still 0.66
00:07:47.000 think he's taken the risks anyway.
00:07:49.000 Even if he thought it was a much slimmer chance than it was.
00:07:52.000 And that woman should be treated as if she's treated. 1.00
00:07:55.000 But then don't you think in the case of abortion, like, that she took that risk?
00:08:00.000 Like, I'm just...
00:08:01.000 It's just interesting because this sounds like equality when it benefits us.
00:08:03.000 It's not real equality.
00:08:05.000 Because it's like...
00:08:06.000 It's a woman's body. 1.00
00:08:07.000 What do you mean by, like, when abortion's involved?
00:08:09.000 So a woman has the right not to be a mother. 1.00
00:08:11.000 So if I have an accidental pregnancy, I can terminate it up to six months in the UK.
00:08:16.000 But men don't have the right not to be fathers.
00:08:18.000 True.
00:08:19.000 So it's like, why do we call the man a deadbeat dad, but we don't call the woman a deadbeat mom
00:08:23.000 when she gets an abortion.
00:08:25.000 And so I'm saying if we really want equality, like, why wouldn't we make it equal where the men can sign off?
00:08:29.000 But I think that's like how, again, we'd want an ideal world to be.
00:08:34.000 Do you know what I mean?
00:08:35.000 In the sense where...
00:08:36.000 I would, but she's saying no.
00:08:37.000 Fair enough.
00:08:38.000 But I think that's just society.
00:08:40.000 Like, that's the way society is.
00:08:41.000 And unfortunately, that's...
00:08:43.000 How can I put it?
00:08:44.000 Like, unfortunate on the men's behalf in the world, because that's something that they're out of control of.
00:08:50.000 There's a lot of things I'd say, like in a relationship or in other situations, us women are out of control of. 0.98
00:08:55.000 And I think...
00:08:56.000 Like what?
00:08:57.000 Oh, sometimes I think women chase... 1.00
00:09:00.000 We want a man to be with us.
00:09:02.000 And it's not until a man decides to commit that we get that relationship.
00:09:06.000 I'd say we're more prepared for them than they are.
00:09:08.000 So...
00:09:09.000 Right.
00:09:10.000 But we can always pick who we go after.
00:09:11.000 So if we go after the top 20% of men who you have to compete for, then it's the balls in their court.
00:09:16.000 But for the average guy, there's men at Tesco down the street that would date you tomorrow.
00:09:20.000 That is so true.
00:09:22.000 But I guess...
00:09:23.000 So it's really in our control, because we pick who we go after.
00:09:26.000 And if you want to go after someone more competitive, it's going to be harder.
00:09:29.000 True.
00:09:30.000 But then I feel like them men sometimes take advantage of the fact that they are part of that 20%
00:09:35.000 and then sell women dreams instead of allowing a woman to actually make that decision for themselves. 0.74
00:09:39.000 Like, for example, you might meet a guy, like you said, NBA player, footballer, whatever.
00:09:43.000 He's not the guy down the road at Tesco's.
00:09:45.000 However, he could have children that no one knows about.
00:09:48.000 I mean, look at Khloe Kardashian.
00:09:50.000 As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
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