JustPearlyThings - Women TEND To IGNORE This

00:00:00.000 So how can a woman keep you grounded because I think I think I struggle with that 1.00

00:00:03.240 I think when you know my husband comes home

00:00:04.760 He can be pretty stressed out for work because like you said work is chaos

00:00:07.680 So I'm like well like what do I do do I hug him do I leave him alone?

00:00:11.120 I think he's the leave him alone give let him play video games kind of route

00:00:14.520 So like how can a woman be grounding to you guys? What's what would peace look like? 0.99

00:00:17.820 Silence

00:00:18.820 Oh, okay

00:00:20.820 It's that simple it just comes down to silence and I'm just doing the things that she normally would do for you

00:00:25.880 Taking care of you sitting next to you like just you know peace peace generally is seen as silence

00:00:32.100 If you're in peace if you're in you know people say Zen it is pure silence

00:00:35.900 The guy wants to come home to a nice quiet home most of the time

00:00:38.960 He doesn't want to come home to chaos peace is normally described as silence, okay

00:00:44.640 But for me, I think the deep obviously loyalty and cooperative and the friend and feminine are all key things

00:00:51.480 But I think the most important thing is deep understanding now there's levels of understanding

00:00:56.440 And I think with understanding comes trust

00:00:58.920 So if you get to know the man and you really want to fulfill your man and want to see him win

00:01:03.640 Then you're going to let him lead and I think a lot of it boils down to trust

00:01:06.920 There's a lot of people saying I love my man. I love my man

00:01:09.960 But for one reason or the other they're they're the biggest holdback sometimes

00:01:13.560 So I think that men I think men realize when a girl genuinely 0.99

00:01:18.760 Wants to see him win not just for her benefit and for me

00:01:21.960 I think that's the that's the key thing and then with that when a female is trusting you comes femininity 1.00

00:01:27.320 A lot of men are thinking oh why is my girl masculine because she's not trusted you 0.98

00:01:31.480 So I think that's what I think that's what it boils down to

00:01:34.040 So I hear that I hear where you say you want you want to come home and you want silence and peace

00:01:38.600 But now if she's silent it could it could be a bit of a problem

00:01:44.120 She can talk silently

00:01:45.320 Well, that's what I was saying is like what if what if you're coming home and uh, you're stressed or you're feeling down

00:01:50.520 What if you want to like you want I know something encouraging?

00:01:53.320 What would that look like?

00:01:54.040 Because one of my girlfriends has told me that when her man is stressed out that she just gives him a big hug

00:01:58.280 So I think I was looking for like those kind of actions obviously, you know being quiet in the midst of chaos is helpful

00:02:04.040 I think you can

00:02:05.160 That's what I think too because a lot of times when guys say what they want

00:02:08.600 It it sounds really simple, which okay, and but it's very broad

00:02:14.040 And so it's like if you were going to say to someone all right, I want to be a wife

00:02:17.720 How do I become one like what would you tell them to do go ahead?

00:02:21.000 Let me is it ali? Yeah. Oh, yes

00:02:23.560 So I can't speak for all men can't speak for your your husband

00:02:27.880 However, I can tell you about me. So if I came back from work, and I was stressed

00:02:34.600 All my other half would have to do

00:02:37.000 If I had one would be

00:02:41.160 Nothing

00:02:43.160 Like silence

00:02:44.600 Chill

00:02:46.680 Okay

00:02:47.240 Um

00:02:48.600 There's not even that much pressure on you to to

00:02:52.360 um

00:02:53.560 Yeah, like just have something ready for us to eat together

00:02:56.440 Yeah

00:02:57.480 Um, and then just chill

00:03:00.920 Let me

00:03:01.640 You don't need to ground me or anything like that

00:03:04.760 Like I've been grounding myself for 35 years

00:03:08.280 I'm very very good at grounding myself and all the rest of it

00:03:11.880 Just don't don't add to the stress

00:03:15.320 Yeah

00:03:15.640 That's that's it

00:03:16.520 Okay, that's an action

00:03:17.480 Don't add

00:03:17.960 A lot of girls

00:03:19.800 A lot of girls

00:03:20.680 I'm not saying all girls

00:03:22.120 A lot of girls

00:03:23.720 Somehow still find a way to just not be able to

00:03:27.240 Do nothing

00:03:28.280 They they find a way to want to add to the stress

00:03:31.720 It's like they've been waiting for you to come home all day

00:03:34.120 Just to tell you something

00:03:35.400 Yeah

00:03:36.040 Just to get on your nerves

00:03:36.840 You know, sometimes sometimes it's like

00:03:39.080 A man's just happy just to see you like

00:03:41.320 Just just be just exist and be feminine so I can give you my full masculine 1.00

00:03:46.120 But if you're acting frantic and all masculine, how can you expect me to be masculine?

00:03:51.000 Well, you know, it's not it's not like that

00:03:52.520 So like I stay home, um, and then so my husband's gone like 10 to 12 hours a day

00:03:56.520 And you know when I see him I just get so excited. I'm like, oh my god

00:03:59.240 I can't wait to tell you about my day and he's like

00:04:02.120 30 minutes an hour 30 minutes an hour and I'm ready to hear about your day

00:04:06.120 So like we don't we don't we're not trying to add to your plate, but I see your point

00:04:09.880 So it's called a decompression time is what a lot of counselors call it

00:04:13.640 Apparently men need that I feel like I don't think women are like that 1.00

00:04:16.600 I don't feel like I need not even like five minutes to myself

00:04:19.480 No, because we're more social so to us like when we come home

00:04:22.840 We're excited to talk to each other, but that aren't like that. They're like get away

00:04:26.600 Have you ever seen that? Have you ever seen that chris rock?

00:04:29.080 I think it's chris rock where he's like we like you there, but not there

00:04:36.120 I want I want to be with you, but you know, I don't really I want to be around you

00:04:41.320 So you could just be in the air vent. That's what Patrice O'Neill said

00:04:45.160 I was gonna say I think as men

00:04:47.960 I think we're very self-aware in the sense that how we want to make sure that we receive our woman properly

00:04:53.160 So sometimes you may need like half an hour to just to decompress

00:04:56.440 But I think sometimes women take offense to that when they say give me like 30 minutes 1.00

00:05:01.640 Why are you mad at me?

00:05:04.280 It's like it's not about you, babe. This is me. Just give me 30 minutes

00:05:09.240 That's a hard concept for them to grab that it's not about them because they always think it's about them

00:05:13.160 But that's why you get guys sort of sitting in the car when they get back from work for 10 minutes

00:05:17.320 Just to have a moment to themselves to go into the house because hey, it's like, you know

00:05:21.720 I don't mean this disrespectfully

00:05:23.160 But you know when you have a puppy and they run to the door when you come through the door it's a bit like that. It's nice

00:05:27.160 It's nice. It's not supposed to be of course disrespectful, but it's just like the excitement to see you

00:05:31.400 It is lovely

00:05:32.120 But like you said you need to just five minutes just let me just chill for two sex 0.91

00:05:36.680 I mean, I'd actually also add it depends on your current like position in the relationship

00:05:40.360 So what what like if you're in the honeymoon period

00:05:43.560 I'd say it's a lot more romantic and full-on and more sexually driven at that point

00:05:47.560 In the first like six months of normal relationships a lot of sex happens

00:05:50.920 So in that case the man would be anticipating that as soon as he gets home if I was married

00:05:56.520 I'd expect some form of intimacy as soon as I get home

00:06:00.040 If it was the first but obviously let's say 10 years down the line if I'm working and it things are chaotic

00:06:05.080 How can I get home? I'm just gonna want to relax. I'm just gonna want to sit

00:06:09.080 Decompress as you've said and then eventually after a while maybe have dinner and then during dinner start conversation and then keep the conversation going overnight

00:06:17.240 But the whole point is you need men need that decompression 0.99

00:06:21.000 When they get home if they're not because the thing is men the thing is if it's not the honeymoon period

00:06:25.400 And it's not a part where he's very sexually driven and he can't wait to get home to literally rail you against the bed

00:06:30.600 Then you literally need

00:06:32.760 The position of he needs peace. He needs to relax for a bit

00:06:37.080 Because if he doesn't get that he's just gonna build up even more stress

00:06:40.440 And it's gonna get bottled then he might explode and you know and some men explode in different ways

00:06:44.280 Mm-hmm

00:06:44.920 And then yeah, I'd say that's the main that's the crux of the situation

00:06:48.200 Yeah, I think I think the main thing I can speak for all men. I think all men want respect

00:06:54.360 Definitely it both I think it boils down to respect when a man is disrespected. He can do crazy things

00:07:00.120 Let's be honest. Oh, I think disrespect even leads men to cheating

00:07:05.000 Which never really wants to get spoken about it's always this guy's a bad guy for cheating

00:07:09.400 But let's ask ourselves how many times he did how many times did you disrespect your man before he cheated?

00:07:14.520 That's like every single like school shooter story I've ever heard

00:07:18.600 Yeah, I mean we we want respect from men

00:07:21.960 Let alone our women. Do you know what I mean?

00:07:24.040 Like respect is number one beyond love beyond beyond anything respect is one

00:07:30.200 And then well a woman has to respect you in order to love you in the first place

00:07:34.280 It starts with respect. I think without respect. It doesn't work. Yeah, it cannot work

00:07:39.480 If the girl actually wants she's gonna have to get to the point where she has to respect you or she has to find someone 1.00

00:07:43.960 She does respect. Yeah, the relationship doesn't work without respect

00:07:46.840 Otherwise, you get a lot of problems just developing and actually growing. It's like a seed if you if there's no respect

00:07:52.520 It's gonna grow. Yeah, it's gonna literally grow and ruin things

00:07:56.040 And it gets ruined in different ways. Well, you guys you guys know why we disrespect you guys, right?

00:07:59.560 Okay, this looks like for the for the women that love you that get out of pocket

00:08:02.920 Okay, because there's just like some naturally psychotic women that's like she's just gonna be out of pocket for everyone 1.00

00:08:07.320 So the way uh, there's a doctor his name is dr

00:08:09.800 Egeritz he talks about love and respect, right?

00:08:11.480 And it's in the bible, too

00:08:12.840 Where women are commanded to respect their husbands and husbands are commanded to love their wives, right? 0.99

00:08:16.920 And there's a reason for that and so when when I feel unloved, you know

00:08:21.240 We tend to get disrespectful and then if you feel like i'm disrespecting you

00:08:24.280 You're gonna go out of your way to make sure that I don't feel loved and you're not gonna cuddle with me

00:08:27.480 And it goes into this cycle and you never know when to hop off because it's like well

00:08:30.680 Do I want to hop off? No, he should hop off when really it's like what do you know?

00:08:33.480 You're in the cycle. You should just hop off just for the greater good whoever figures it out first

00:08:38.200 So yeah, I think that that's a that's a common thing because um when men blow up nobody ever asks

00:08:42.920 What did she say and I feel like we should start asking because it's really bad

00:08:46.600 It's mad because they always if if a girl blows up, it's what did he do?

00:08:49.960 Yeah, yeah, we never ask what did she say

00:08:53.000 So many times that one oh, well, what did you do?

00:08:55.560 It's not about me. I'm not a narcissist. It's about it's true

00:09:00.040 We have to and we have to remember as well

00:09:01.960 Respect isn't just in the home when we're outside your females representing you if she's representing you in a mad way 1.00

00:09:08.920 She's not respecting you. So I think it's such a 360 thing. Yeah

00:09:12.360 You've got like obviously when you come home from work on the flip side

00:09:15.320 You've got how she's representing you outside if she if your girl does not respect and rate you 0.98

00:09:19.160 You'll hear him know about it and it will burn a girl a girl asked me the other day ago 0.99

00:09:26.040 I'm talking to and um, she said to me

00:09:29.480 Um, so babes like how would you want me to be like say we were a thing like I would you know

00:09:35.080 And I said to her I want you to

00:09:37.720 Pretend you're always wearing a permanent t-shirt with my face on it

00:09:42.280 So, you know, no matter where you are you you're wearing a t-shirt and it's got my face on it

00:09:46.520 And and that's the mindset that you need to have because when they've when they've got that in their mind

00:09:53.000 They're acting it out. There's no there's it's like a constant reminder. Yeah, exactly

00:09:57.400 Well, what are some ways that a woman can demonstrate respect because again like respect very broad and we ain't got no daddies 1.00

00:10:04.120 Just like y'all don't got daddies. So what how can we demonstrate?

00:10:08.280 That's right by listening

00:10:10.280 Just to cut in there. I do think that like a good woman's gonna test you as a man 1.00

00:10:14.040 I don't think there should be like unrealist unrealistic expectation that a woman's not gonna test you 1.00

00:10:19.160 And it's good because as a man you need to be on your a-game

00:10:21.640 So a good woman's gonna test you and you need to be at the best version of yourself to be able to deal with that and 1.00

00:10:26.760 Kind of make her fit into your frame

00:10:28.760 Just to add that in

00:10:29.720 I have to disagree with that one. Uh, yeah, I was gonna say I completely disagree

00:10:32.840 I think respect is when she doesn't do that like she respects you enough

00:10:36.520 I'm not saying she should disrespect you by the way

00:10:37.640 No, no, I'm saying that she shouldn't even test you like the whole point is when someone respects you

00:10:41.400 You don't like you don't test your boss. You don't go to your boss and start testing them

00:10:45.560 Shit testing them like oh, what about this?

00:10:47.320 What about that?

00:10:48.120 Like at the end of the day?

00:10:49.400 It is the kind of boss dynamic like at the end of the day a relationship is you go to work every day

00:10:54.680 Like I'm slight it's just it's really simple

00:10:57.480 It's sound it's people complicate a lot

00:10:59.400 But when it comes to respect just listen to what the man says at the end of the day

00:11:02.200 He has the final say if you're in a dynamic relationship where it's masculine feminine

00:11:05.720 The man has the final say and the crux of it really does literally come down to listening respect not arguing

00:11:13.720 Understanding that he has the final say

00:11:16.280 And that's literally how it should be so

00:11:19.640 So to boil it down she has to listen. Yeah, listen

00:11:23.080 Is there any actionable items whatever the man says does do

00:11:27.400 So she listens. Yeah, okay, and you know what not to not to disrespect my brother here or anybody else on the panel, but

00:11:34.360 No tests. Yeah

00:11:36.360 No tests because

00:11:38.360 This is gonna be the action items

00:11:40.360 You might be right, but in my in my world

00:11:42.280 It's not unrealistic because listen I'm tested every day

00:11:46.920 Yeah up at 6 a.m. Working from 8 till 9 most days seven days a week no tests

00:11:54.760 That's enough if you test you become part of the problem

00:11:57.160 I don't I don't think that I don't think I know a single wife that doesn't test their husband now 0.99

00:12:00.920 I think there are malicious ways to test your husband. I think that's true

00:12:03.960 But there's other ways that you're going to be tested

00:12:05.800 So like example, you know fatherhood

00:12:07.800 That's that's a test is to see like, you know

00:12:09.800 How do you perform as a father and a husband?

00:12:11.800 I don't think you're going to be able to get away from it

00:12:14.200 And so I live in the midwest

00:12:15.640 And so there's a feminine wives masculine husbands in the church husbands are providers protectors women are feminine submissive 0.95

00:12:21.640 But there there are still going to be tests

00:12:23.480 Like you still want your boundaries respected as a human being in an individual

00:12:27.080 I understand what you're saying like don't be malicious about it, but I think it's unrealistic to think that you know

00:12:32.120 That it's not going to happen at all

JustPearlyThings - March 28, 2023

Women TEND To IGNORE This

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